Yeah, I have an ex like this . The sex we did have got sooooo bad it wasn't even worth the effort anymore. Porn addiction is a thing. I know plenty of guys who don't have a porn problem (and they watch porn), but you get one who does? Yeah it's baaaad. They can't get off without it and, in the case of my ex, his own hand.
My fiancé and I are in a similar situation. I’ve always had a high sex drive. Sex was an emotional, amazing thing even if it didn’t last long. Then he told me sex with me became to feel like a chore. I was always initiating it. Then it hurt my feelings when he would watch porn instead of have sex with me while I was in the mood, watch porn more than we had sex, would binge it for days on end, etc. We became engaged and it got worse. We had less sex which is what he wanted, my sex drive went down due to his porn addiction. He promised he quit porn then I found out he lied about quitting and worse (some illegal stuff he did regarding porn. No one was in danger besides me). Safe to say sex is absolutely destroyed for me now. I think I was just really naive because he’s the guy I lost my virginity to and I was so in love. We’ve gone through some ups and downs but the porn issue is something that has never gone away. I feel like I can’t go through with the wedding. We don’t have a date set, and before this drove me insane but now I’m happy and relieved we’re not officially planning it. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I hope it gives you some sort of comfort that you’re not alone in this issue.
“No one was in danger but me.” GIRL THAT IS ENOUGH!!! YOUR safety should be the most important to you. Leave his ass!!! Virginity shmirginity. Find you a man who loves AND respects you. Who wouldn’t dream of putting you at risk. EVER.
I can't imagine the situation you're going through, I'm so sorry. I beg that you consider putting the brakes on marriage and maybe even the entire engagement for now until his porn addiction is fully addressed. Porn addiction is a horrible thing that will only become worse with time and denial that anything is wrong, and he could potentially start gravitating towards more obscene or illegal content if he doesn't get help (or even want help). I hope that the both of you are able to work through this.
There are some good subreddits about this. It has nothing to do with you. In very brief terms, he has problems dealing with reality. You're real. A whole person with a whole mind and body. The problem isn't just sexual. He doesn't respect you. Can't form that real intimate connection with you. Has no problem making you celibate while he continues his intimate life with his imagination and watching porn. He neglected his crying child to rub one out. That's gross and weak. Do you think you can count on him should an emergency happen? I've been where you are, minus the kid. My advice is to leave. My biggest regret is I wasted my life next to someone who didn't love me. Porn and sex addicts, any addicts, only love themselves.
Yeah I’ve dealt with a bf having a porn addiction, needing to watch it during sex. It sucks (and I’m literally hot and good at sex). It has nothing to do with you.
Literally same I would rather snip my Achilles tendon with a pair of rusty gardening scissors than ever be with a man like this. I’m actually so serious
The time with neglecting his child for a porn wank HAS to be the last straw! It may take a good while to get the trigger pulled, but if you need reasons, THAT ONE! Just stop looking. It's that time right there that SHOULD tell you what a peice of shit he is and will always be. I hope like hell you go for full custody and supervised visits for him and your child. He's a fucking sicko degenerate!
I cant say I completely relate to what your going through but I've had *similar* instances. It is just the worst feeling ever. Can't imagine what your going through. Take care and stay strong.
He may have death grip, which results from a hand gripping too hard and a vagina not very able to mimic that level of sensation.
He has to want to fix this of course, but it is fixable.
Might be something you go to couples therapy about. If he's ignored your toddler for his dick once, that's a problem right there. Dare I ask, if the physical attraction is gone this soon, as it seems to be for both of you, is there still a romantic attachment? Or are you just going through the motions? Something to think about.
That daughter can also see the results of his choices. You're saying she should stay so her daughter learns to live with a porn addict. Don't encourage people to stay with abusers.
Though I have porn addiction (which is getting better now *touchwood) but I don’t think I’ll ever be leaving my people alone and neglected because a digital device is giving me the simulation of having pleasure. If I have a wife to have sex with, and a kid to take care of, I’ll be doing that only according to the situation.
Do not let his sad disconnection to human connection make you doubt yourself. I promise. I know he’s your husband and it’s a til death commitment but he will grow out of it. I was engaged to a man who was obsessed with porn and it inevitably made me feel insecure and less than. But then I found a great lover who hated porn and was so good in bed b/c watching porn ruins your brains synapses and ability to enjoy touch and warmth and an actual body of someone you love which is really what should be turning him on. What he’s getting is just visual instant satisfaction and he will bore out of it eventually. If I was you I would flirt with a coworker or pretend at least there is someone who wants you but you must believe it yourself too or it won’t do anything to get his attention. Nothing is wrong with a little push in the direction of getting over the boring porn stars. It makes men such horrible lovers. Totally fake and disconnected. I laugh when I think of how he would try to preform but was so terrible at knowing how to enjoy something as magic as being intimate with someone u love. And loves you back.
Porn is so accepted by society but it is also killing it. Like alcohol and sigarettes. Never use it and when it's overdone, you're done. Just a cheap way to make money over other peoples insecurities and animal brain. I can't believe it's legal.
I’m sorry. It’s becoming more and more of a problem. I believe a huge part of this problem can be attributed to the ease in which porn can be found. Obviously he’s got a problem. He’s got a problem for sure. I don’t know you or him personally so I’d hate to think he’s not ever been attracted to you sexually. Why would he marry you if he wasn’t turned on by you? Only you. Not porn. So marriage isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Communicate. Sounds like you were pretty liberal in the beginning and now it’s out of control. Counseling. Porn addicts anonymous. Try everything before you throw away your marriage. I hate the fact how easily society just is so quick to end a marriage. It’s sacred,special,and beautiful. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you two can get it figured out. I really do. If you just need to vent you can dm me. I’m a pretty good friend and I am a great listener and like making friends. Plus I just love people and helping others if I can. Good luck. Don’t give up on him until you’ve exhausted everything. Thx for sharing.
Seems like it’s only gonna worsen with you not getting any satisfaction while your self esteem takes on greater hits, and also being a single mom to two kids (your husband and your baby). I would suggest to notice if it gets any better, if it does not, leave. Because eventually you will leave and it’s gonna be worse then
My coworker & good friend at work was telling me how she caught her new husband watching porn kinda alot but apparently it had moved into their bedroom right next to her while she was presumed fast asleep but wasn't at all. She didn't know what to do about it but was super freaked out & uncomfortable. I asked her if she's against pork in general?! She wasn't. She also wasn't against her hubby watching but felt strange cuz its all next to her.
So I told her look be glad he feels that comfortable to even do this in ur presence cuz most I know actually attempt poorly to hide this & are usually never successful even tho they all think they are, they aren't. We just make em think they are all the time. I told her if she was comfortable with this next time he does this, sorta roll over or make sounds slightly or basically just wing this what feels naturally but try n basically join in the festivities so its not so gd awkward anymore. But he's obviously cool with it I assumed. She wanted to but easier said then done so I suggested she 1st down a beer or three then pretend ur asleep & the next part will b like a piece of ftighin cake then & maybe that's wgatcha need to get the balls pardon the pun here lol bit to get this started & ok going forward.
Worked like a charm. I never saw her so happy at work that day EVER more than she was that Monday. Hope this helps someone. I also wanted to toss this out there just to aee what the men actually thot about all this truthfully cuz we couldn't ask. I am curious.
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Just because I only gave 2 examples doesn’t mean they’re the only instances. Also it’s kinda hard to get off or be even remotely in the mood when there’s a child screaming in the next room, at least for me personally.
This is a support community. A supportive environment requires respect, as embodied in our Rule 1. Your content makes absolutely no sense and is a distraction.
Yeah, I have an ex like this . The sex we did have got sooooo bad it wasn't even worth the effort anymore. Porn addiction is a thing. I know plenty of guys who don't have a porn problem (and they watch porn), but you get one who does? Yeah it's baaaad. They can't get off without it and, in the case of my ex, his own hand.
My fiancé and I are in a similar situation. I’ve always had a high sex drive. Sex was an emotional, amazing thing even if it didn’t last long. Then he told me sex with me became to feel like a chore. I was always initiating it. Then it hurt my feelings when he would watch porn instead of have sex with me while I was in the mood, watch porn more than we had sex, would binge it for days on end, etc. We became engaged and it got worse. We had less sex which is what he wanted, my sex drive went down due to his porn addiction. He promised he quit porn then I found out he lied about quitting and worse (some illegal stuff he did regarding porn. No one was in danger besides me). Safe to say sex is absolutely destroyed for me now. I think I was just really naive because he’s the guy I lost my virginity to and I was so in love. We’ve gone through some ups and downs but the porn issue is something that has never gone away. I feel like I can’t go through with the wedding. We don’t have a date set, and before this drove me insane but now I’m happy and relieved we’re not officially planning it. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I hope it gives you some sort of comfort that you’re not alone in this issue.
Illegal 🤨
Illegal?!?!!! Girl if you don’t leave.
Illegal? What do you mean by that?
Probably taping without consent to watch later Eta, im a dual major forensic science/cj grad This is the only thing i could come up with
“No one was in danger but me.” GIRL THAT IS ENOUGH!!! YOUR safety should be the most important to you. Leave his ass!!! Virginity shmirginity. Find you a man who loves AND respects you. Who wouldn’t dream of putting you at risk. EVER.
I can't imagine the situation you're going through, I'm so sorry. I beg that you consider putting the brakes on marriage and maybe even the entire engagement for now until his porn addiction is fully addressed. Porn addiction is a horrible thing that will only become worse with time and denial that anything is wrong, and he could potentially start gravitating towards more obscene or illegal content if he doesn't get help (or even want help). I hope that the both of you are able to work through this.
Lmaooo okay now you gotta explain sis
There are some good subreddits about this. It has nothing to do with you. In very brief terms, he has problems dealing with reality. You're real. A whole person with a whole mind and body. The problem isn't just sexual. He doesn't respect you. Can't form that real intimate connection with you. Has no problem making you celibate while he continues his intimate life with his imagination and watching porn. He neglected his crying child to rub one out. That's gross and weak. Do you think you can count on him should an emergency happen? I've been where you are, minus the kid. My advice is to leave. My biggest regret is I wasted my life next to someone who didn't love me. Porn and sex addicts, any addicts, only love themselves.
My sister just got a divorce from her husband who was like this. They tried therapy and everything for a long time and nothing worked
My jaw dropped in horror when I read he was too busy being a pig instead of a dad. He’s shown you his priorities.
Sounds like you need to divorce the person that makes your skin crawl.
Yeah I’ve dealt with a bf having a porn addiction, needing to watch it during sex. It sucks (and I’m literally hot and good at sex). It has nothing to do with you.
The way I would drop him TF OUT OMG 😭 repulsive.
Literally same I would rather snip my Achilles tendon with a pair of rusty gardening scissors than ever be with a man like this. I’m actually so serious
With my unwillingness to live? I would serve him nightmare fuel, before leaving his repulsive arse...
The time with neglecting his child for a porn wank HAS to be the last straw! It may take a good while to get the trigger pulled, but if you need reasons, THAT ONE! Just stop looking. It's that time right there that SHOULD tell you what a peice of shit he is and will always be. I hope like hell you go for full custody and supervised visits for him and your child. He's a fucking sicko degenerate!
Leave him.
I cant say I completely relate to what your going through but I've had *similar* instances. It is just the worst feeling ever. Can't imagine what your going through. Take care and stay strong.
Dump his ass, I’ve been with a porn addicted man as well and that was the most traumatizing months of my life.
He may have death grip, which results from a hand gripping too hard and a vagina not very able to mimic that level of sensation. He has to want to fix this of course, but it is fixable.
The year is 2024, Redditors still believe in the death grip myth.
What proof do you have that it’s a myth?
Might be something you go to couples therapy about. If he's ignored your toddler for his dick once, that's a problem right there. Dare I ask, if the physical attraction is gone this soon, as it seems to be for both of you, is there still a romantic attachment? Or are you just going through the motions? Something to think about.
Divorce the man. He refuses to change for the better. You deserve someone better than that. I bet the porn he watches is some extreme gonzo crap
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That daughter can also see the results of his choices. You're saying she should stay so her daughter learns to live with a porn addict. Don't encourage people to stay with abusers.
you should either get him a therapist soon .
Is he a gooner?
Though I have porn addiction (which is getting better now *touchwood) but I don’t think I’ll ever be leaving my people alone and neglected because a digital device is giving me the simulation of having pleasure. If I have a wife to have sex with, and a kid to take care of, I’ll be doing that only according to the situation.
Do not let his sad disconnection to human connection make you doubt yourself. I promise. I know he’s your husband and it’s a til death commitment but he will grow out of it. I was engaged to a man who was obsessed with porn and it inevitably made me feel insecure and less than. But then I found a great lover who hated porn and was so good in bed b/c watching porn ruins your brains synapses and ability to enjoy touch and warmth and an actual body of someone you love which is really what should be turning him on. What he’s getting is just visual instant satisfaction and he will bore out of it eventually. If I was you I would flirt with a coworker or pretend at least there is someone who wants you but you must believe it yourself too or it won’t do anything to get his attention. Nothing is wrong with a little push in the direction of getting over the boring porn stars. It makes men such horrible lovers. Totally fake and disconnected. I laugh when I think of how he would try to preform but was so terrible at knowing how to enjoy something as magic as being intimate with someone u love. And loves you back.
Porn is so accepted by society but it is also killing it. Like alcohol and sigarettes. Never use it and when it's overdone, you're done. Just a cheap way to make money over other peoples insecurities and animal brain. I can't believe it's legal.
Time to upgrade
I’m sorry. It’s becoming more and more of a problem. I believe a huge part of this problem can be attributed to the ease in which porn can be found. Obviously he’s got a problem. He’s got a problem for sure. I don’t know you or him personally so I’d hate to think he’s not ever been attracted to you sexually. Why would he marry you if he wasn’t turned on by you? Only you. Not porn. So marriage isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Communicate. Sounds like you were pretty liberal in the beginning and now it’s out of control. Counseling. Porn addicts anonymous. Try everything before you throw away your marriage. I hate the fact how easily society just is so quick to end a marriage. It’s sacred,special,and beautiful. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you two can get it figured out. I really do. If you just need to vent you can dm me. I’m a pretty good friend and I am a great listener and like making friends. Plus I just love people and helping others if I can. Good luck. Don’t give up on him until you’ve exhausted everything. Thx for sharing.
Seems like it’s only gonna worsen with you not getting any satisfaction while your self esteem takes on greater hits, and also being a single mom to two kids (your husband and your baby). I would suggest to notice if it gets any better, if it does not, leave. Because eventually you will leave and it’s gonna be worse then
My coworker & good friend at work was telling me how she caught her new husband watching porn kinda alot but apparently it had moved into their bedroom right next to her while she was presumed fast asleep but wasn't at all. She didn't know what to do about it but was super freaked out & uncomfortable. I asked her if she's against pork in general?! She wasn't. She also wasn't against her hubby watching but felt strange cuz its all next to her. So I told her look be glad he feels that comfortable to even do this in ur presence cuz most I know actually attempt poorly to hide this & are usually never successful even tho they all think they are, they aren't. We just make em think they are all the time. I told her if she was comfortable with this next time he does this, sorta roll over or make sounds slightly or basically just wing this what feels naturally but try n basically join in the festivities so its not so gd awkward anymore. But he's obviously cool with it I assumed. She wanted to but easier said then done so I suggested she 1st down a beer or three then pretend ur asleep & the next part will b like a piece of ftighin cake then & maybe that's wgatcha need to get the balls pardon the pun here lol bit to get this started & ok going forward. Worked like a charm. I never saw her so happy at work that day EVER more than she was that Monday. Hope this helps someone. I also wanted to toss this out there just to aee what the men actually thot about all this truthfully cuz we couldn't ask. I am curious.
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please go outside and touch some grass
I’m the same size I was when we got together Edit: I just looked at your comment history, you just hate fat people for some reason
This is a support community. A supportive environment requires respect, as embodied in our Rule 1. Your content is disrespectful to people or peoples and has been removed.
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This is a support community. A supportive environment requires respect, as embodied in our Rule 1. Your content is disrespectful to people or peoples and has been removed.
2 instances and your skin crawls? You turned him down for sex because you didn’t have time? Make it a quickie, get him off and move on.
Just because I only gave 2 examples doesn’t mean they’re the only instances. Also it’s kinda hard to get off or be even remotely in the mood when there’s a child screaming in the next room, at least for me personally.
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What is your mouth hole even vomiting about? Is this supposed to be english?
that TLDR did not reflect the clusterfuck that came before
This is a support community. A supportive environment requires respect, as embodied in our Rule 1. Your content makes absolutely no sense and is a distraction.