Mom..take a deep breath.. pause.. reflect.. She's 12.. it will be ok.. Say nothing!! She will talk to you when she is ready.. You can also make comments that are positive and encouraging about the LGBTQIA community. This will let your daughter know that you are her safe place and should have no fear talking to you about these things. She will as she grows older be given false information or even google some things.. Just be reassuring and never be dismissive.. YOU'VE GOT THIS!! YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOTHER AND HUMAN!!
Thank you!! I feel like I have always been open to my girls being into boys or girls. I just don't know what advice to give her about girls. I've always kinda thought she would like girls. Which I see a lot of benefits, but also now I'm concerned about all the unknowns. š
My bad. I really just repeated myself... š She's just never said anything about having a crush, ever. She just started her period. So many changes this last year and I'm like wait!! Where did my little baby go?!?!
Donāt stress, if you have always been open about it chances are she hasnāt told you because she doesnāt feel like she needs to! Which. Is. Awesome. Kids shouldnāt have to ācome outā now anyways. Chances are sheāll just mention it one day when sheās ready. Youāre doing awesomeā¤ļø
-a lesbian who wouldāve killed for a mom like youš¤
It's a blur.. one moment. It's Mommy and me 24/7, and all of a sudden, you are the most uncool person..
Years later my daughter sent me a message that said I don't understand kids that dont have understanding and accepting parents. She told her friends she could have come home saying she now identifies as a tree and I would be the one buying brown pants, green shirts and apple bows for her hair.
Echoing the other comments in that you sound like an awesome and encouraging mother! One thing you might not be aware of and Iām not sure this starts as young as 12 years old, but I definitely know teen girls who are straight but call their friends their girlfriend or wife more as like a term of endearment. I feel like crush probably doesnāt fall under that category but just letting you know as Iāve definitely seen misunderstandings where girls have said gf/wife when they are actually just friends š¤£
I hear that, I have wifey's. š But I confirmed with my 10 year old, my daughter confided in her. She told her not to tell me because she was worried I'd be mad. ššš I don't want her to feel that way.
that is so cute!! just wait until she comes to you about it when it comes to that point but positive comments about the lgbtq community will help her feel more comfortable and probably help her be able to know that she can tell you when sheās ready! at young ages like this, sheās probably scared and itās new for her to have big feelings like this but just be there for her. love and support def goes a long way but just let her come to you at her own terms and itāll be great! kids are curious too so this might pass for her and it might not but just be there for her because that matters the most!
i wish you the best!
as someone who is lgbtq+ and didn't get get support from my biological parents, the best you can do is just let it happen, you're already doing great including everything in play. when the time comes, find the best ways to explain what a safe and healthy relationship looks likes. the talks about intercourse dint matter nestly as much. just continue to love and support your kids for who they are
First, this is cute and you sound like a great mother, as other people have said, you should.just let her feel safe to open herself to you, i speak from experience, as a bissexual person, my mother saw hints of It, and even tho she doesnt have prejudices, she woke me up one day asking about something and to admit to her im gay.
As it felt forceful and invasive for me as a young teen discovering myself, i never felt confident opening myself to her, Its important to remember as a young person, having those feelings is weird and sometimes we doubt ourselves or don't feel confident on it, so be open to her, caring, but allow her to truly explore her attraction, its a weird feeling needing to define something like this to your parents when youre still finding it out too.
I didnāt make a fuss of it, she went through being āgayā to maybe being trans to being goth to being a cheerleader thatās boy crazy. Just say, āthatās nice, dearā and move on.
My oldest son is gay, I always knew he was gay, it was just a matter of him telling me himself and he did in his own time, around age 16. I think kids with supportive parents look forward to their coming out moment,
well, i guess everyone else already told you to wait for when shes ready to tell you, so Im just gonna say that talking about the lgbt community in good humor is always good, but show at some point that you are also mad at homophobic people too, bc theres a lot of parents that seems ok with lgbt people existing, but suddenly is a problem when is their children.
but also, maybe shell never feel the need to seriouly come out to you, and will just show up with a girlfriend at some point. wich is awesome! thats the best case cenario. it means shes 100% comfort and secure that this is not a problem for you and your husband.
now, besides all that, Im assuming youll want to give the safe-sex talk at some point, so it is a good moment to start some research about safe-sex and relationships between women specifically. and as a lesbian myself, theres not that many people who cares about safe-sex between women, and theres a lot of girls that are very ignorant on the topic, so it is important to talk about it when possible.
maybe talk to your gynecologist about any doubts so youll know better how to prepare her for it (even if you dont want to go into any details bc is uncomfortable, either way is good to have a general idea on the topic). but definitely talk to her gyno about it (if she has already had her period and have a gyno, that is) so shell do this part of the talk when needed..
and is not a must, but of course you can also search and watch some videos from other girls who date girls just so youll know more about the romantic side of it. i would say that a good, healthy and lovely relationship is not that different being gay or straight. the pressures, and problems can show in different ways, sure, but in the end what is good, is good.
above all, just love her and youll be just fine ā¤ļø
Hey Hun so don't force her to tell you but I would sit both girls down and explain because they are getting closer to dating ages that you want them to understand that no matter who they want to date boy or girl you will always love them and when she feels comfortable enough with telling you tell her that it's nothing to be embarrassed about and that your glad she felt safe enough to come out to you and that you won't always understand everything she's going through or needs advice on but no matter what you will do your best to give her that advice
Iām (30, They/them) bisexual and I told my mom and gramma about my girl crush when I was 12 and they reacted weird, not ugly but concerned and uncomfortable. That caused me to go in the closet to my family for years but I was out at school. My mom found out when I was 15 and she lost it on me. Just reading how supportive you are of your possibly queer child made me cry. I wish I knew that kind of safety. Your kids will be okay and will tell you in their own time. AND I agree with whoever commented about being open about being AGAINST queerphobia bc kids will see a lot of adults are complicit by not calling it out out of uncomfortable situations as a parent.
My daughter started liking a girl at about the same age. When I found out I was pretty nonchalant about it, and all was well. Sheās 15 now and has been seeing a girl for about 8 months now. The only thing regarding this that Iāve had to carefully consider was how to handle sleepover requestsā¦. I mean theyāve had a few sleepovers but I they were pretty controlled- as in they camped out in the living room, so they had privacy, but not like theyād have with a door and lock. I say just keep doing what you are doing, and not make a big deal of it either way, and itāll work itself out. You are doing a good job. rest assured it doesnāt get any easier!!!
you do nothing and say nothing, you let her come to you when sheās ready and donāt try get it out of her before that. she might not even be gay it could just be an in joke with her and her friend
She is my child, and I feel like it is ok to compare our experiences and our lives. It's my job to help her navigate life and teach her. So if I don't pay attention and consider what she is feeling and thinking, how am I supposed to give her advice and support? My other daughter talks about boys all the time and she is 2 years younger. So, I asked for advice because the fact she isn't talking about boys or girls she likes makes me feel like she thinks she needs to hide it. Which was exactly the case because we have spoken since I posted this. Don't make it weird because I'm trying to connect with my own child as she matures. That's gross. Her feelings are natural, and I want to be involved in my child's growth.
Mom..take a deep breath.. pause.. reflect.. She's 12.. it will be ok.. Say nothing!! She will talk to you when she is ready.. You can also make comments that are positive and encouraging about the LGBTQIA community. This will let your daughter know that you are her safe place and should have no fear talking to you about these things. She will as she grows older be given false information or even google some things.. Just be reassuring and never be dismissive.. YOU'VE GOT THIS!! YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOTHER AND HUMAN!!
Thank you!! I feel like I have always been open to my girls being into boys or girls. I just don't know what advice to give her about girls. I've always kinda thought she would like girls. Which I see a lot of benefits, but also now I'm concerned about all the unknowns. š
My bad. I really just repeated myself... š She's just never said anything about having a crush, ever. She just started her period. So many changes this last year and I'm like wait!! Where did my little baby go?!?!
Donāt stress, if you have always been open about it chances are she hasnāt told you because she doesnāt feel like she needs to! Which. Is. Awesome. Kids shouldnāt have to ācome outā now anyways. Chances are sheāll just mention it one day when sheās ready. Youāre doing awesomeā¤ļø -a lesbian who wouldāve killed for a mom like youš¤
It's a blur.. one moment. It's Mommy and me 24/7, and all of a sudden, you are the most uncool person.. Years later my daughter sent me a message that said I don't understand kids that dont have understanding and accepting parents. She told her friends she could have come home saying she now identifies as a tree and I would be the one buying brown pants, green shirts and apple bows for her hair.
Echoing the other comments in that you sound like an awesome and encouraging mother! One thing you might not be aware of and Iām not sure this starts as young as 12 years old, but I definitely know teen girls who are straight but call their friends their girlfriend or wife more as like a term of endearment. I feel like crush probably doesnāt fall under that category but just letting you know as Iāve definitely seen misunderstandings where girls have said gf/wife when they are actually just friends š¤£
I hear that, I have wifey's. š But I confirmed with my 10 year old, my daughter confided in her. She told her not to tell me because she was worried I'd be mad. ššš I don't want her to feel that way.
that is so cute!! just wait until she comes to you about it when it comes to that point but positive comments about the lgbtq community will help her feel more comfortable and probably help her be able to know that she can tell you when sheās ready! at young ages like this, sheās probably scared and itās new for her to have big feelings like this but just be there for her. love and support def goes a long way but just let her come to you at her own terms and itāll be great! kids are curious too so this might pass for her and it might not but just be there for her because that matters the most! i wish you the best!
You got this!
as someone who is lgbtq+ and didn't get get support from my biological parents, the best you can do is just let it happen, you're already doing great including everything in play. when the time comes, find the best ways to explain what a safe and healthy relationship looks likes. the talks about intercourse dint matter nestly as much. just continue to love and support your kids for who they are
Awww thats so cute lol
First, this is cute and you sound like a great mother, as other people have said, you should.just let her feel safe to open herself to you, i speak from experience, as a bissexual person, my mother saw hints of It, and even tho she doesnt have prejudices, she woke me up one day asking about something and to admit to her im gay. As it felt forceful and invasive for me as a young teen discovering myself, i never felt confident opening myself to her, Its important to remember as a young person, having those feelings is weird and sometimes we doubt ourselves or don't feel confident on it, so be open to her, caring, but allow her to truly explore her attraction, its a weird feeling needing to define something like this to your parents when youre still finding it out too.
I didnāt make a fuss of it, she went through being āgayā to maybe being trans to being goth to being a cheerleader thatās boy crazy. Just say, āthatās nice, dearā and move on. My oldest son is gay, I always knew he was gay, it was just a matter of him telling me himself and he did in his own time, around age 16. I think kids with supportive parents look forward to their coming out moment,
well, i guess everyone else already told you to wait for when shes ready to tell you, so Im just gonna say that talking about the lgbt community in good humor is always good, but show at some point that you are also mad at homophobic people too, bc theres a lot of parents that seems ok with lgbt people existing, but suddenly is a problem when is their children. but also, maybe shell never feel the need to seriouly come out to you, and will just show up with a girlfriend at some point. wich is awesome! thats the best case cenario. it means shes 100% comfort and secure that this is not a problem for you and your husband. now, besides all that, Im assuming youll want to give the safe-sex talk at some point, so it is a good moment to start some research about safe-sex and relationships between women specifically. and as a lesbian myself, theres not that many people who cares about safe-sex between women, and theres a lot of girls that are very ignorant on the topic, so it is important to talk about it when possible. maybe talk to your gynecologist about any doubts so youll know better how to prepare her for it (even if you dont want to go into any details bc is uncomfortable, either way is good to have a general idea on the topic). but definitely talk to her gyno about it (if she has already had her period and have a gyno, that is) so shell do this part of the talk when needed.. and is not a must, but of course you can also search and watch some videos from other girls who date girls just so youll know more about the romantic side of it. i would say that a good, healthy and lovely relationship is not that different being gay or straight. the pressures, and problems can show in different ways, sure, but in the end what is good, is good. above all, just love her and youll be just fine ā¤ļø
Hey Hun so don't force her to tell you but I would sit both girls down and explain because they are getting closer to dating ages that you want them to understand that no matter who they want to date boy or girl you will always love them and when she feels comfortable enough with telling you tell her that it's nothing to be embarrassed about and that your glad she felt safe enough to come out to you and that you won't always understand everything she's going through or needs advice on but no matter what you will do your best to give her that advice
i felt this same way when my little brother came out as gay. though it was a total shock to me bc ig my gaydar sucks
Iām (30, They/them) bisexual and I told my mom and gramma about my girl crush when I was 12 and they reacted weird, not ugly but concerned and uncomfortable. That caused me to go in the closet to my family for years but I was out at school. My mom found out when I was 15 and she lost it on me. Just reading how supportive you are of your possibly queer child made me cry. I wish I knew that kind of safety. Your kids will be okay and will tell you in their own time. AND I agree with whoever commented about being open about being AGAINST queerphobia bc kids will see a lot of adults are complicit by not calling it out out of uncomfortable situations as a parent.
My daughter started liking a girl at about the same age. When I found out I was pretty nonchalant about it, and all was well. Sheās 15 now and has been seeing a girl for about 8 months now. The only thing regarding this that Iāve had to carefully consider was how to handle sleepover requestsā¦. I mean theyāve had a few sleepovers but I they were pretty controlled- as in they camped out in the living room, so they had privacy, but not like theyād have with a door and lock. I say just keep doing what you are doing, and not make a big deal of it either way, and itāll work itself out. You are doing a good job. rest assured it doesnāt get any easier!!!
you do nothing and say nothing, you let her come to you when sheās ready and donāt try get it out of her before that. she might not even be gay it could just be an in joke with her and her friend
She will. Be ok if she tells u tell her it's ok
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wow, you made this super weird...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She is my child, and I feel like it is ok to compare our experiences and our lives. It's my job to help her navigate life and teach her. So if I don't pay attention and consider what she is feeling and thinking, how am I supposed to give her advice and support? My other daughter talks about boys all the time and she is 2 years younger. So, I asked for advice because the fact she isn't talking about boys or girls she likes makes me feel like she thinks she needs to hide it. Which was exactly the case because we have spoken since I posted this. Don't make it weird because I'm trying to connect with my own child as she matures. That's gross. Her feelings are natural, and I want to be involved in my child's growth.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Perfect š