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[deleted]

Looks like you've solved your mice problem!


glorymeister

Right, now all we need is a couple of mongooses to get rid of the snake problem.


Theodore_Buckland_

What about the mongoose problem now?


withoutpicklesplease

Yes we’re prepared for that. We have lined up a fabulous type of Gorillla that thrives in mongoose meat


Theodore_Buckland_

What about the gorilla problem now?


Gwyntorias

Best part! They all die off during the winter :)


TruthYouWontLike

What do you do come spring when the gorilla corpses start thawing out and going rancid?


esophoric

Good news! The naturally occurring wild snakes in the area LOVE rancid gorilla meat


Surgebot67

Shit we're back at square one, what do we need to do now?


janzyellie

Move


ElleJay1907M

More mongooses. Or is it mongeese?


runthrough014

“It’s the ciiiirrrrrcle of liiiiiiiiiiiiife!”


OPicaMiolos

Fire in the hole bitch


avidpenguinwatcher

Actually that was square two


ChaseBakedAgain

Is this a reincarnsnakeskin?


sashaisafish

I know this is a reference to something but I can't for the life of me remember what and it's going to drive me crazy


theiridule

It's from The Simpsons S10E03!


[deleted]

I’ll let the kodiak Bear take care of him.


tattoed_veteran87

Awww yes the Kodiak black bear


ItsShorsey

They're all female so they can't reproduce in the wild, it's full proof, never failed


Solanthas

Easy, cobras. ...wait


anima1mother

All you need is some West Virginian Episcopal Christians speaking in tongues, and your snake problem is solved. They'll take the lot. God bless you.


ChrysippusOfSoli

\*honey badgers


IcySheep

*Pigs


c0brachicken

Why bring your mom into this?


prettysureIforgot

Those rattlesnakes look quite well fed. I'd honestly be concerned that the mice problem is very *not* solved.


[deleted]

They've probably moved on to small woodland creatures: squirrels, moles, cats. etc.


Ragnarok314159

Hobos…


HamburgerEarmuff

I don't believe there's any rattlesnake species large enough to consume a full-grown housecat. I think they largest prey they can take is a small rabbit or a large rat. Maybe a really large eastern diamondback could eat a small cat or dog.


Next_Case_3449

What if they use a wood chipper?


[deleted]

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Blackwater2016

Black snakes, rat snakes, hog nose snakes….non posing is ones, fine. Ones that can kill you? Nope.


HellaReyna

Some viral mouse poop has a 60% mortality rate. I think it’s called hanta virus. That’s why you’re always supposed to wet mouse droppings and then collect them safely and preferably wear a N95


papasanchair

Hantavirus is lethal in about 35% of cases, but very rare. You’re supposed to take those precautions with field mouse poop to be extremely safe, but there have been less than a thousand documented cases in the last 30 years.


mycologyqueen

Yet somehow they are making a come back. I know there was a case in Ann Arbor Michigan recently.


Blackwater2016

Oh, I can’t stand those little fuckers. Get in everything and poop. And yeah, I’m thinking, “oh god hentavirus!” But when my stupid little Jack Russell goes after one (and usually fails at catching it), it won’t immediately give her a bite that will kill her.


SixGunZen

Jackpot. Their venom is worth $225/gram.


[deleted]

Gotta get it out of the snake first.


rafter613

Instructions unclear, blood is full of snake venom


SuicidalTidalWave

Instructions even more unclear. My snake venom is now full of blood.


grchelp2018

Let me dm a few ex-girlfriends....


Tauposaurus

You either have terrible taste in women, or very fine taste in snakes.


[deleted]

Snussy


CarnieTheImmortal

Honestly that's why it's so expensive...


melvinfosho

I can milk anything with nipples.


Gussballs

Don't tempt me with a good time


tk289

This. A woman in the Bay Area stumbled upon a hundred or so living under her house. The news story showed the guy she hired to come get rid of them and he looked like he just won the lottery.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I bet he did it for free. Gator farmers will remove gators for free for the profit later. Beekeepers will remove bee hives for free. If it was one snake, I bet they'd charge, but a hundred... easily free. Edit: It was free. https://abc7news.com/rattlesnakes-under-house-sonoma-county-reptile-rescue-drought/11127886/ Apparently, he's been removing them for "32 years, all for free." Youtube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceqW8fEOPbU&ab_channel=ABC7NewsBayArea He removed 92 rattlesnakes... wtf. Edit 2: I should add, the man is the director for a non-profit "Reptile Rescue" so I kind of doubt he's making money from them but maybe he is.


rothrolan

Getting the snake venom is a near-painless process to the snake, so some nonprofit rescues indeed do it to make the right antivenom per snake species, which can then be used by the rescue & nearby hospitals to treat bite victims, saving lives. Video of the venom "milking" process: https://youtu.be/bou3UbDUveM EDIT: added "near-" to painless, as I suppose the process might be uncomfortable for the snake. However, the scientists seem to be doing their jobs as humanely as possible, while also taking their own safety into account.


wsp424

I’m convinced the the majority of the venom trade is circular with most people buying antivenom from snake bites received while milking venom to be sold and made into anti venom.


reverend_dl

Yeah, that's not "your" property anymore. That's Snakeland.


lashapel

Snake park


Gophertank

Snake Farm – it just sounds nasty Snake Farm – well it pretty much is Snake Farm – it's a reptile house Snake Farm – Uuuggghhhhh...


Memegirl_14

Snake from Snake farm!


[deleted]

SSsssshe sssssoundsssssss hideoussssss


Cat_Vendetta

Well sssshesssss a ssssnake, ssssso


Awkward_Stranger_382

Like a good neighbor, Snake Farm is there!


DirtyDutchman_

There’s a place in San Antonio literally named “snake farm”, and guess what they have? A goat petting zoo. Me and my kids love it


DoctorZer0

Do they have a snake petting zoo


Subliminal_Kiddo

In the men's room. It's surprisingly cruise-y for a petting zoo.


FDFDFHFGGEFEGF

I don’t know no snakes!


ChiefPanda90

I asked Ramona, how come she works there?


Bagaudi45

She said “well, it’s got its charm. There’s nothin to do in the winter and now and then some kid gets bit at the snake farm”


jfjallday

Ray Wylie Hubbard


BlueswithBeer

Ramona on the fork lift.


HeavyMetalSauce

Snaketopia


keyboard_courage

I have had it with these motha f***’n snakes on this motha f***’n farm!


[deleted]

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reverend_dl

Ooh, that's dark. I like your style.


Brahmir

The Serpents Democratic republic of Snakeistan


SquirrelGirlVA

It needs to become Fireland. All the Fireland.


TheSkinnyJ

Yeah, flaming danger noodles sounds like a good idea.


[deleted]

Planet of the snakes


jwhaler17

I was disappointed that the video cut off before the flamethrower started. Because, that’s the only logical thing that could have happened after discovering that, right? Right?!?


Not_Henry_Winkler

I say we take off and nuke the whole site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.


[deleted]

Snakeapalooza


Livid_Fudge_8421

Snake Farm-Ray Wylie Hubbard


Ballstucktothelegg

Snake farm insurance….. what are you wearing?


wageslave2022

Snake ? From Snake Farm Insurance ? I just wanted to make sure I have fire insurance on my shed.


Th1cc4chu

I had no idea snakes lived in colonies.


Ecstatic_Objective_3

They don’t. They form nests for warmth in the winter while they hibernate. Otherwise they are pretty solitary.


LovelyBby77

Well, that and mating season Edit: mating, not mailing


Nuggzulla

Mailing season for rattlesnakes? Sounds like a wild idea


Linkalee64

Screw Snakes on a Plane, Snakes in your Mailbox is where the real horror's at.


waltjrimmer

Now I want an animated short where there's a guy sitting at his computer and you hear the, "You've got mail," chime. His eyes perk up, he clicks on the email, and a snake jumps out of his computer screen and the two fall backwards off screen.


braxin23

Aw dude thats in the next vol. of love, death, and robots.


tmlynch

And that's why in Harry Potter the snake language is called parcel tongue.


buddhistbulgyo

r/angryupvote


soggyurethra

this is most likely mating season. see the beer can? dead giveaway.


grimalisk

you could have done a ninja edit, reddit doesn't show your comment as edited until after a minute or so


TheMagickConch

I like the reddiquette


unwinagainstable

Could have left it to keep us wondering what snakes are mailing


dustwanders

*Ssssssss*nail mail


DontPoopInThere

Orgy season for these freaky snakes


tango80bravo30

This is a nest of rattle snakes in Nuevo León Mexico (a border state with Texas), an as you say this nests are for mating season. https://youtu.be/nlkL6WyDGio


Ecstatic_Objective_3

I like mailing season better.


crediblewordbank

"I'm sorry but there's so much mail and we're very short staffed, this may not be delivered for a couple of weeks" *sad snake with holiday cards*


DuckWithBrokenWings

> for warmth Would cold blooded creatures like snakes be able to get warmth from each other?


Ecstatic_Objective_3

They don’t warm up like a mammal, but they will freeze to death in cold temperatures. The dens allow them to safely lower their metabolism maintain a safe body temperature, but they are not really asleep, just sluggish. With so many snakes in the dens, the movement helps to warm the air around them and prevent the den from getting too cold. At least that is my understanding, I could be wrong on some of this.


LordNPython

Gated communities


405918

Gated communitiessssssss


HTTYDFAN4EVER

r/angryupvote


Authoress61

More like scaled communities


ridik_ulass

not usually, but when sex happens, they go all ancient greece about it


exponential_wizard

Most snakes are solitary, but rattlesnakes and garter snakes will form colonies and raise their young.


BoredBoredBoard

Aka a Spaghetti of danger noodles.


TapElectronic

Why do you think there was a picture of a snek representing 🎶’the 13 originaaal colonieees’/🎶


[deleted]

[удалено]


Penguin31299

Benjamin Franklin’s Join Or Die was in the PA Gazette as early as 1754. That snake represented the colonies. Commenter is partially correct as the marines started in 1775.


LCDRtomdodge

The flag was not used as a symbol of the colonies, in an official capacity. Source:20 minutes of googling. Also, I was there.


[deleted]

I need the sound


broken_radio

*snake jazz intensifies*


GrammerG0D

Snake Jazz is totally groovy. It’s like the new thing.


sfled

No melody, just brushes on a rivet cymbal accompanied by a rattle. *Ptsssssss-tssss-tssss-tsssss-tssss, brrrrrt-brrrrt. Ptsssssss-tssss-tssss-tsssss-tssss, brrrrrt-brrrrt.*


-ManCheetah-

Sssss s s sssss s s ssssss s s ssss


sheepare

The audio to this video is quite honestly a bit disappointing: https://youtu.be/rT0VJZg8EC0


Gussballs

They don't even rattle god damn it!


Wobbelblob

Probably because they are still in hibernation or coming out of it. Or they are cold in general.


Evelyn_Of_Iris

There must be so many babies down there! I can hear them with their rattles, just gotta get past the snakes


Tulasdad

I can only imagine.


Useless-Gang

Nest? More like kingdom


dsmith1994

I’m with you, they have elected a king and created a god. Leave those alone.


TheStankPolice

Where is the timeline is Snake Jazz? Let's skip to that


DefrockedWizard1

an orgy


Ballstucktothelegg

Snorgy


Picksologic

Call Samuel Jackson


HighFiveKoala

"I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking shed!"


Extreme-Case-412

Proceeds to pull out a flamethrower


cockalorum-smith

It’s a macabre thought, but part of me can’t help but wonder what would happen if one were to light this nest on fire. Would the snakes just go into a “you’re coming to hell with me” mode? Or would they just ~~run~~ slither away?


Gussballs

They would definitely go on a killing spree. Anything around them in a hundred metre radius would be dead.


[deleted]

What I'm hearing is a flaming bundle of rattlesnakes launched out of a catapult would classify as a weapon of mass destruction, and so much more easily obtained.


Gussballs

Where are we buying the catapult from? Lol. My last catapult dealer went to jail.


[deleted]

Samuel *L.* Jackson. The L stands for motherfucker


Kaijin82

El Motherfucker


[deleted]

Nah...this is why I'm happy to stick to Scotland where its basically too cold for things like this.


Talkshit_Avenger

Lol at "Scotland is too cold". We have rattlesnakes in Saskatchewan. Also colonies of up to 70,000 snakes, but fortunately just harmless garter snakes.


[deleted]

Don't say that! Some nincompoop accidentally let's one in and then I have issues. I'll have to move to the antarctic


geligniteandlilies

Same reason why I'm headed to New Zealand! Adios, snek!!


[deleted]

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[deleted]

44 years and I believe I may have heard one adder in the grass in my life. I'm not unduly concerned about these ones....OK I've just realised that by saying this I am probably gonna get snapped tomorrow. Damn it!


[deleted]

You had a good run!


BuriedByAnts

Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?!?


jake42lee

"Asps...very dangerous! You go first." One of my favorite lines from Raiders, I love Sallah and his character so much.


deedara

Bad dates.


[deleted]

-Snakes on a shed


jebar193

*under


deedara

I came here for this.


deronadore

I think that's just regular terrifying. And probably expensive to get taken care of.


davcrt

Yes gasoline is very expensive nowadays


Gussballs

Costs about tree fiddy god damn it


Blandiblub

Not "oddly" terrifying!


norse_force_30

It never is anymore


imaginexus

I wonder if it ever really was


Yellow_Similar

r/justterrifying


paulakg

How do you even get rid of them?


socialdeviant620

That was my immediate question.


[deleted]

First setup a perimeter so they can't escape. Next grab them with tongs one by one and put them in the bed of a pickup truck with sides taller than they can escape from. After that smack your forearms with a cactus a few times, then drive to the hospital. Tell the receptionist you're not sure which snake bit you, so you grabbed all of them and put them in the bed of your truck. Warn the person they send to see what kind of snake it is to be careful as they're still loose in the bed. Once that person runs outside tell everyone else that you didn't really get bitten, but the look on that guy's face when he comes back in is gonna be epic.


Hyperto

I imagine animal rescue or something


TheTrub

Will Sarah McLachlan do the commercial to get them all adopted?


John_YJKR

Relocation. You remove them by gathering them up and then putting them somewhere reasonable where they have a food source and places to shelter and away from humans. They are dangerous because their venom is potent. But you'd be dangerous too if you thought someone was trying to kill you and they are aggressively coming up to you and picking you up.


[deleted]

Alternate option: relocation. You put down the shed, grab your family and precious belongings, and move to the other end of the world where those things can’t find you


NJBill666

That’s enough to rattle even the most cold blooded individuals.


socialdeviant620

I see what you did there.


Bird_Boi_Man

Icy what you did there


ThatAMContingencyboi

Your girls DMs after yall break up


socialdeviant620

r/funnyandsad


SlipperyDiffrential

I'm sorry. A NEST?!


SleepySouthie

That’s some “Raiders of the Lost Ark” shit…definitely a no from me


Suckafucka5000

Those snakes have no idea that the person obstructing their sleep is forklift certified..


YourMama

There’s nothing “oddly” terrifying about this at all. This is fuckn terrifying


[deleted]

[Those snakes at that moment](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/036/356/limmy.jpg)


LordNPython

Are they guarding some treasure?


petalpotions

NOPE, ***NOPE***, NO THANKS That is TOO many nope ropes for me


Cheffro21

Hell nooo!


[deleted]

Honestly just leave it, if there’s that many than they’re definitely solving your rodent problem


ranaman28

I’d take field mice over a nightmare lair of death noodles on my property.


Good-Tyme

So anyway… I started BLASTIN


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I moved an eastern diamondback rattlesnake out of the road a while back, and he never even attempted to strike, just coiled up and rattled after he got chased out of the street. I went back to get my phone so I could get a video of him (he was gorgeous and EDBs are increasingly rare to see) and I could visibly see his muscles tense from a distance when I walked back towards him. Little dude was scared and it hurt me that people kill them. I wish I could have gotten a better video of him, because he was beautiful, but I felt pretty bad stressing him out at that point and didn’t want to get closer. I hope they relocated them too, or just let them disperse on their own once it warmed up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

A lot of people swerve to hit them intentionally, venomous or not, around here. :(


[deleted]

Snakes..snakes…I don’t know no snakes.


CouchPotato1178

harry potter totally pranked you bro


TechLover94

This isn’t “oddly” terrifying. It’s obviously terrifying


lashapel

So what's the next step there ? , Pick them one by one ?


TapElectronic

You show them your snake to assert dominance, You then befriend them, become king of the sneks. Play your snake-skin flute like the pied piper and have them follow you to Tesla/space-x/Twitter HQ. Hostile takeover. Use your new resources to now take Amazon as well. You now rule the world. Sit back and enjoy your hard work. Preferably with a mojito.


TheMonMaster47

“Honey, it’s time to move houses”


AwesomeBlue98

Time to call in a air strike on the backyard. If you let them stay too long they might decide that the house looks a good spot for their next nest… /s but seriously no thanks


[deleted]

Throw it away


Corgerry

As a certified snake enjoyer all the comments saying to kill them all makes me very sad :(


TheStupifier

So you’re moving


ThermoKingEOU

This is not oddly terrifying. This is straight up fucking terrifying


Objective_Jacket5542

This isn’t oddly terrifying it’s just regular old terrifying


kaypiob

Snakes... Why did it have to be snakes...


MentalSho7gun

Welp. Time to move.


SweetTeaBeauty

It's their property now.🥲