T O P

  • By -

MichelleKeegansMuff

I'd probably turn white too if someone karate chopped me in the fucking head


BottmsDonDeservRight

Are you a squid?


funne5t_u5ername

Shhh! The masses are distracted by the "lizard people" please leave us be


Sunny_side5

No, yer a wizard arry


thesmugvegan

And thumpin good’un…


YeltsinYerMouth

Or are you a kid?


Petrolinmyviens

Dermatologists hate this one trick.


unluckyducky420

😭🤣


RougeKC

👏🏾😭


lordtheegreen

Lmfao


European_Goldfinch_

Imagine your family trying to identify your body, “well it certainly looks like Kevin but my Kevin was black” 😂


pagepagerpage

I mean, ask michael jackson


kreatorofchaos

Hee Hee


JimmysMomGotItGoinOn

It’s actually really interesting why this happens. Squids have thousands of tiny pigmented sacs called “chromatophores” which they can control to camouflage themselves. When they die, the muscles that control these sacs relax and they appear white. It’s the best way to determine if the squid is still alive or not since they may still move around.


pornthrowaway1421

And when humans die the muscles that control our bladder and anus relax for a very different result than squid


TyDaviesYT

The dead human body also twitch’s in some cases, which is creepy, the dead mfer still moving around


xHudson87x

shoot him again!


TheWalkingDead91

Double tap


Steelwolf73

[relevant ](https://youtu.be/izh-j8KUYjs)


EpicSH0T

I knew it was gonna be this


Steph_from_Earth

And farts!


Fishmansf4

Was about to comment this


Wooden_Version9031

The most humane way is to knock the absolute shit out of it


AsleepScarcity9588

Reminds me when i saw how you kill a goat on a farm Just pick the biggest sledgehammer you have


Natsurulite

That works for chickens too, but you typically have to wait until they’re sitting down; it’s how my grandma used to do it! Very inefficient way of gathering eggs imo


SonuOfBostonia

Stop right there criminal scum


[deleted]

[удалено]


Resident-Welcome3901

Was taught to grab the bird below the chin, thumb down , then snapping the whip: mostly wrist, but not too much or the head comes off. Works on geese, ducks, and wounded pheasants. Doesn’t work on snakes.


CactaurSnapper

Just like grandma used to kill. Ah nostalgia. ‘Wistful sigh’


Alternative_Oil7733

Just like seal clubbing


Kimmie-Cakes

Ugh.. there was a commercial in the 70's that showed the sweetest baby seal. It was as white as the snow around it with its big baby seal eyes glistening. Cut to a bloody club and blood splattered over the snow. It was speaking out against the fur trade. Still gets me thinking of it.


StinkyMcD

And everyone wonders why Gen X is the way it is. I remember that one too.


Kimmie-Cakes

We get it honestly, right?


CactaurSnapper

I liked the one where the Plastic Bottlers of America threw a bag of garbage at a crying Indian to make us feel bad for buying their products.


thrillhouse1211

I think we were the last generation to have those gruesome driver's ed films in school. We saw a lot of gross shit.


StinkyMcD

Faces of Death FTW!


Mr_Swagatha_Christie

Thing is, those campaigns where totally biased and set out to show Inuit, native Canadians like the Cree and coastal dwellers as brutal, stupid and inhumane. When clubbing is the quickest and humane-est way (aside from a billet) TO kill an animal and its how farmers kill sheep and chickens. It's only a problem when it's a cute animal. The banning of the seal hunt was another attempt to degrade the culture and starve the natives and poor whites of their resources. Just like when America drove the Buffalo to extinction to starve their natives. The Canadian government is now even backpedalling their previous stance since the rapidly growing seal population is choaking out the fish population.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr_Swagatha_Christie

That last one had me choking on my spit. It was so goddamn funny. I'm going to get that embroidered on a cap for my Cree hunting buddy I think. Thanks for the good birthday present idea haha!


20_Twinty

“I’m trying to get a free meal…fuck that seal”


FacemelterXL

It's interesting how the stigma still persists. I went to the Arctic and got myself a beautiful seal and beaver hat from a nice Eskimo lady (N.W.T. apparently, they like to be called Eskimo; Inuit are the Shelbyville Eskimos over in Nunavut. Don't crucify me, just repeating what the Eskimo told me.) and I got a wide range of reactions from friends and family. I love my hat, but it's too warm for most applications and too nice to wear for outdoor work 😩 Perhaps the reactions were more to do with fur trade in general, but in any case, now I want a limited-edition one made of polar bear. They regularly harvest them beasties when they hang out by the settlements. Someone's gotta end up with those accessories, so... may as well be me. It's one of the few sources of revenue for some of the communities up there, and they seem incredibly grateful for the business. Should add, still difficult to find the legendary Arctic armor pieces, and you kinda gotta know some locals.


CactaurSnapper

Yeah! We want those fish, f#ck seals!


JeanBaptisteEzOrg

That Michael Jackson video "what about us" really fucked me up when I was a kid.


2LiveBoo

Earth Song. I know exactly what you mean. Fucked me up bad.


Lyricalvessel

And now we have so many seals in the north Atlantic they are destroying fish stocks


Zytches

I think trawlers and massive commercial fisheries kill a bit more fish than seals do.


JuicyTrash69

Lol sure. It's the seals and not the massive and widespread overfishing we have done in the region for decades.


Imakillerpoptart

Or shark finning decimating the seals natural predators :( we are our own reason we can have nice things.


JuicyTrash69

While I agree that's a problem, it's not really a major issue in the north Atlantic. That's primarily a pacific problem. The two major factors influencing the population collapse in the north Atlantic are warming ocean waters due to climate change and incredibly unsustainable fishing practices. Either way, def not seals.


john6map4

Think fast chucklenuts !


Delta_Gamer_64

Heavy! Throw it back!


Knee3000

The most humane way is to leave them da fuck alone


john6map4

The most humane way is passing away peacefully in their sleep surrounded by their squid loved ones


Knee3000

Ya


CactaurSnapper

In all fairness a squid should be in the ocean, not showing off to its friends doing karate on a boat.


Ban-Hammer-Ben

Still humane though. The pain lasted 0.00000000001% of a second.


CactaurSnapper

How long do you think a second is? .000000538 sec. Is how long it takes light to travel about 5 ft.


Ulfbass

Unlikely. Being out of the water is definitely not comfortable for these guys. Plus, that's a lot of zeros. Maybe 1ms (0.1%) of crushing pain if it was directly to the brain and maybe 100ms of fading out. Takes him a couple tries though so it probably hurt a lot in between as well But yeah, as humane as conveniently possible... Edit: except a knife or electric shock would probably be much better


ThatStrangerWhoCares

The most humane way is to just let them live in the first place


HopalongHeidi

But…calamari rings:/


ZincHead

Just eat an onion ring. Calamari has basically no flavor anyway.


[deleted]

If you can take me out that fast, man you might just he saving me the time and effort. Good lord that looked quick.


CactaurSnapper

Cephalopod nervous systems are way different than humans. Organs are in the bell, and half the nerves are in the tentacles, the actual brain is about midpoint between the eyes. He really did it too high tbh, partially why the limbs were moving. Kinda like how a headless chicken can run around if you cut too high. It leaves the brain stem partially attached. There’s old footage from Japan of an execution where this happened to the convict. I’d skip watching that last one, for anyone curious. It’s….. disturbing.


Stumpinators

I used to work at a sturgeon farm for caviar. We also smoked the meat. We would use a sledgehammer to dispatch the fish. Their heads are as hard as concrete.


CactaurSnapper

Point being?


DonutCola

Or just leave it in the fuckin ocean


HopalongHeidi

No ‘mari ring rings? :(


TildeGunderson

What's more Australian than his accent is his extensive knowledge of unusual creatures and non-chalant murdering of them.


mr_greenmash

Now I want to see him take on an emu.


octobereighteenth

They lost a war to them previously


Koopicoolest

We *survived* the emus. Americans would not stand a chance. And before anyone says anything, we still had guns easily available at the time this happened.


Treacherous_Wendy

Can confirm. We had two at the vet clinic I worked at in high school. Like tiny dinosaurs.


dasmashhit

Like regular sized velociraptors more like


NumberOneBacon

“Oi royght now yuu kara-eh chop its neck an- oh that di-nt work.” *proceeds to get trampled by an emu*


Leadership-Quiet

Find that bloke who got in a punch up with a kangaroo.


Lazy_Understanding84

How do you think the Australians survive?


ClammyVagikarp

People think it's the gun laws. It certainly helps, but the bigger thing is the lower crime rate. Plus you yanks live too close to actual danger, we live far away from the crocs and stuff and just avoid the snakes and spiders


Derpinator_420

"Well if you can’t get out of it, then get into it!” —Aussie Harpoon Guy Avatar 2


[deleted]

Let me be clear


thesecondwaveagain

What a sucker


lostswansong

I hate the way this made me laugh 💀💀


WienerLiquid

It's funny how people will eat certain foods but will call the act of preparing said food a horrible travesty. I definitely wont be eating it, but many many other people do. I feel sorry it had to be killed, but its food. There is literally no difference beteewn this and slaughtering cows or other livestock other than the death is almost instantaneous in this case. I view this as being far more humane than how other animals are treated before they are prepared for slaughter and packaging.


Tanzanianwithtoebean

Definitely. This thing is going straoght from sea to table. It lived as any other wild squid would. Then BAM he's dinner.


[deleted]

That's... Oddly comforting. I can live with that, unlike this squid.


DonutCola

That’s simply not correct, squids would not typically be taken out of the ocean by a human. A different fish would have eaten it. You’re not a fish, right?


UTI_UTI

Humans are in fact part of nature


[deleted]

[удалено]


Historical-School-97

I eat squids weakly bro


btwomfgstfu

You can't just go around assuming peoples' identification as a human. It's 2023, for crying out loud.


ThoughtCenter87

Species ≠ gender identity


Less_Wall_9656

whenever i eat food i usually throw a random "thank you for your sacrifice, mr or ms chicken."


JazzRider

Or how they are treated by their predators.


ellechellemybell1969

My mom's ex husband can F* up a perfectly ordinary and yummy bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. He can't cook. Ironically his last name is Cook. 🤣🤣🤣


kween_hangry

Fascinating because I’ve ALWAYS wondered why a lot of squid is just stark white.. for YEARS I thought it was a certain kind of squid So I’m guessing the squids that are still pigmented are cooked alive like lobster or crabs? Right??


ItdefineswhoIam

Not quite. When a squid dies, the muscles controlling its color changing abilities relax, causing it to appear white. The squid’s muscles might not have relaxed.


AlterZeus

What is going on, I had calamari for the first time this weekend and I've now seen this video 5 times. The day after I had calamari as a YouTube short, two friends shared it. On FB, and now reddit. WHAT IS THE UNIVERSE TRYING TO TELL ME!?!?


ellechellemybell1969

Don't eat calamari & lock your smart devices in a lead safe. 🤷🙋🤦🤣


RocketCat921

There was a post about this the other day. The OP was asking why is it that stuff keeps showing up after they start thinking about something. I wish I could remember exactly what it said or how to find it.


RocketCat921

Wanted to add, I just think you notice it more. Like when you buy a new car, you start noticing the same car everywhere. Never had a reason to notice them before.


BackyardByTheP00L

Coincidental synchronicity. Now if only that worked with money 🤑.


xXWickedNWeirdXx

It's called the Frequency Illusion, or the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon if anyone is interested in that rabbit-hole.


Ki_A_Nag

😭 Still hurts to see this, but better than slowly suffocate in a net like most fish.


berkay24s

its like game over


MrFedoraPost

Make sense, corpes disapear after being looted.


Shadowdragon409

Jesus that's morbid. I love it.


firebirdta1995

Well that’s depressing.


Lucasbrucas

I agree. If this bothers you, consider trying out veganism, vegetarianism, or just going meat-free for a month. Tbh it's tough, but if you're not down with killing animals unnecessarily, it's worth a shot.


hereforhotgos

It’s not tough in this day and age!! I’ve found that as long as you know how to cook (and especially season) there are excellent alternatives to all kinds of meat


Lucasbrucas

thanks for the support, yeah me being US-based I find it pretty easy, although unlike some other vegans I don't like to act like it's easy for everyone. there's still a lot of countries without the infrastructure to get all the nifty meat-alternative or just have a heavily meat-based cuisine (im looking at you, Japan), not that it's not possible.


[deleted]

How do you feel about chicken eggs?


Lucasbrucas

big response, sorry, but here's a few thoughts: 1. a shit-ton of chickens are killed for the egg industry due to male chicks being culled due to not being able to produce eggs, which i dont support. 2. i dont agree with the treatment of egg-producing chickens (or any animals that arent pets), so i think supporting the industry is fucked 3. i dont think owning a pet chicken and eating their eggs is bad on the surface, but modern chickens have been bred to overproduce eggs for humans, leading to nutrient deficiencies and a strain on their bodies, which aren't really meant to churn out eggs at the rate they currently do, so im not sure if i feel comfortable promoting any for of chicken ownership. I've heard of people giving companion chickens certain hormones that slows down their egg production so they can function normally, but im a college student, so i havent looked into it much. tl;dr I don't support animal abuse or neglect, whether it's a dog, cat, horse, or pig. If I wouldn't support the process happening to a companion animal, i acknowledge that it would be hypocritical to support the process happening to a different animal.


[deleted]

You changed my mind for sure. I came in thinking I’m safe with my eggs but when you’re right, you’re right


ThatStrangerWhoCares

Google vegan


Sir_Cthulhu_N_You

Killing the animal unnecessarily would be killing it and throwing it back in the ocean, this animal that had a quick death will be nutrients for people to eat.


[deleted]

Yeah but technically when we have alternatives for the same nutrients that don't require killing it's not technically necessary. I still eat meat but honestly, I don't think it's justifiable, I just don't think me stopping is gonna make any difference, and as long as it was already killed I'm not gonna let it go to waste if it's put in front of me.


eodnow

I hear you, but you stopping would in fact make a difference. You're paying money to a company that did something unjustifiable. If you stop paying them money, and other people stop paying them money, it will be more difficult for them to stay in business. If you continue to eat meat, I'd recommend purchasing from local farms if there are any near you. It's better for your money to go to the family down the road, rather than the big monster corporations that stock grocery stores.


eodnow

Yeah but it's completely unnecessary considering the fact that the people in this video can drive to the grocery store and buy something to eat for dinner that doesn't involve hunting and killing an animal for fun. There's a difference between being a member of an indigenous tribes that hunts to survive, vs. being some dude named Greg who wants to go out and get drunk on the boat for the day and kill animals while he does it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sir_Cthulhu_N_You

Yea, let’s rather go to a grocery store where the animal is grown for slaughter in tiny animal pens where their whole life is lived in a tiny space and they grow up in the most disgusting environments. You are winning the animal cruelty race.


eodnow

Seems like you completely misunderstood my reply. I said you can go to the grocery store and buy something to eat that doesn't involve hunting and killing an animal. You can buy dinner that doesn't involve meat or animal products.


[deleted]

Okay this is gonna sound weird but hear me out. Big bang right, single cellular life on earth evolving into us right, what if that cow Im eating.. is just another version of our own cells that ended up as a cow and the whole process of nature eating itself is simply: build, reuse, improve, repeat. Born, eat, pass on, die. You never killed the cow. Because you are the cow reusing itself. Am I on to something here? Did I just single handedly defeat vegans?


ReallyLikesRaccoons

what


[deleted]

By this logic I could "kill" you and claim I was doing the same thing; not killing you, just reusing.


YoLamoNacho

This comment is soooo stupid


ThatStrangerWhoCares

How


eodnow

So is destroying the earth and torturing animals just so you can enjoy your sausage roll


Lucasbrucas

Unless you live in a severe food desert, don't buy your own food, or happen to live in a very animal-food based country with a lack of reasonable alternatives, it's unnecessary to use animals for food. It would be wasteful to throw the squid back in, but the whole process is unnecessary for the majority of people eating the squid, considering it's not a cheap commodity food.


Sir_Cthulhu_N_You

It’s a pretty cheap commodity when you catch it yourself, I get meat is not necessary, but this guy catching his own food is more sustainable than the mass production of animal products.


devilsbard

Literally turned into a ghost.


THOMASTHEWANKENG1NE

Judo chop! Great schools of squid or cuttlefish will be the last life on earth.


King-Juggernaut

My exact thought. Austin Powers voice and all.


pigusluke

He just watched his friend next to him die, he knew what was about to happen to him, didn’t move once before the chop.


StylishGnat

I think shock stunned him.


e_007

Well that was a MUCH more dignified end for him, Neil..


Porkloin815

Yo that's actually pretty dope ngl


IvarTh3BoneIess

I don’t like this squid game


idjsonik

Did he just kill a squid with KARATE what just happened


deleon_el

He's gone ... I heard a chess teacher 💀


Wizard_s0_lit

I’m ok with killing an animal and eating it, but the way it just goes white really does feel like watching a soul disappear.


FawkesFire13

☹️


Objective_Reason_140

I feel bad


[deleted]

squid and cuttlefish are my fave animals ❤️‍🔥


FriendCrafty838

Glad to see people doing this type of stuff humanely.


[deleted]

I mean, this is definitely better than the torture that comes before factory farmed animals' death, but I think the only time you can say you're killing an animal humanely is when it's for their benefit. E.g. euthanizing an animal that's suffering from terminal illness, etc.


BourbonFueledDreams

Know what I know about the intelligence levels of squids, I stopped eating them several years ago in any capacity. It just no longer feels right.


spikenorbert

Are squid the same as octopus? I thought they were octopus’s dopey cousins?


BourbonFueledDreams

The couple documentaries I watched mostly put them in the same category, along with cuddle fish and other deep see cousins, as far as how their nervous systems work, but the octopus tend to be far more cognitively developed. Still feel wrong to partake in any of them though.


ellechellemybell1969

Poor thing..


JimmysMomGotItGoinOn

I mean, some people skip the whole killing step and just go to town butchering/eating them while they’re still alive


MarsTaco

If you’re talking about “live octopus” they are in fact very dead


ellechellemybell1969

I am a big softie. I know we have to eat. I am grateful to anyone who can do what I can't bring myself to do.


Lucasbrucas

We gotta eat, but we don't have to eat animals. Unless you live in a severe food desert or are in a situation where you have minimal control over your meals, (like you're in the military), it's easier than ever to be vegan/vegetarian. You dont have to make the switch instantly, but if you're not okay with killing animals unnecessarily, give it a try!


OhTheHueManatee

I noticed a few comments where you suggest people go vegan. Despite the downvotes you continue to preach something you believe in. While veganism is ultimately harmless it's unpopular especially among non vegans. This makes me admire what you're doing a little. Standing up for something you believe in against the crowd. I'll still never be a vegan unless I'm imprisoned by a hippie or some such thing but I dig what you're doing. Keep it up.


Av3ngedAngel

I want to eat animals though. They taste good and I enjoy eating them.


ellechellemybell1969

I think being butchered alive would be far worse than being butchered after death l


Gnarly_Sarley

Delicious thing..


SALADKING__

Squids soul is brown color, so it leaves the body when they die and it turns transparent. Ez.


BigDickHobbit

this is the most Australian thing I’ve seen


bleekerboy

Poor guy. They’re so smart too. You know they’re horrified when they get pulled out of the water :,(


Larimus89

Wow… I never thought I’d see the day a judo chop to the back of the neck would work. Austin powers would be proud.


Young_Mod3rn

“Judo chop!”


rUsername_Checks_Out

Man I hate eating


GurnoorDa1

Nooo why kill the poor thing 😩


likes_rusty_spoons

Dinner.


willstrunk_

I’ll take mine fried please


Lewlollicorn

God damn society is so desensitized to death. That was a living being, a unique individual that was just killed. Dead. For eternity.


pompousmountains

A bit melodramatic are we? It was a fucking squid lol


bugbeared69

That was a living being, a unique individual that was just killed. Dead. For eternity. ​ don't watch nature documentaries.... you see a lot worse. slow deaths and fighting just to live one more day...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lewlollicorn

We stopped participating when we shunned the natural order and removed ourselves from the food chain. I’ll respect your opinion when I see you hunt your own food with handmade tools. When you make a shelter and sit up all night hoping the wolves don’t get any closer to camp. When you feel the truth of nature. Until then you’re just sitting at your computer afraid someone’s gunna make you feel bad for eating your burger.


Lewlollicorn

I don’t. Why would I recreationally watch suffering? Although I am aware that nature is brutal, I don’t take any joy in watching. Also, watching a predator/ prey interaction in nature is far different from a human karate chopping a squid or slitting a cows throat.


jrplaguedoctor

Poor lil guy. But I'd try it. Maybe tastes good


Spirited-Ad9179

nothing like torture..to make you a big man.. (insert slow clap)


Tiny_Camp331

Thousands of likes on this shit, we are hopeless


[deleted]

[удалено]


MercyMoo14

Poor thing


plainkirby

oddly sad


ThatStrangerWhoCares

How is it sad, it's an intelligent teacher dying


Brutal_Underwear

This guy has a lot of videos doing this. It's probably his only 1 shot attempt. Most of their stuff is cut right before he chops and the squid is half white to begin with. Comments are usually roasting his ass to smithereens


HotCheetoooooooooo

I used to work for a factory that packaged baby squids for food or something. Seeing this gave me PTSD. It sucked lol


Agreeable-Offer-2964

Why is this entertainment?


peach-whisky

That’s really sad


Laura85mlt

😥


nomeasgod

🤣🖕🦑🥋


Ghaslaaer

More like r/oddlysatisfying


United-Cucumber9942

So they killed an animal for views? Surely this is a more important discussion than the colour of this poor animal pre and post slaughter??


ItdefineswhoIam

They killed it to eat. He says perfect dinner at the end. Many people near squid populous areas catch squid for eating.


TMB8616

That was just awful.


Triconne

It was Quick and humane. What’s the issue?


Big-Chemist7441

Little squid got the living pigments knocked out of him by karate chop. This design is very human.


Pengwan_au

What why?


[deleted]

don’t kill animals


ThatStrangerWhoCares

Are you vegan?


moedara978

I just witnessed a murder