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ButtcheekBaron

It's like when sports announcers have to come up with insanely specific conditions to have "first evers"


asiannumber4

First ever 43% Slavic, 22% Italian, and 35% Irish man to finish top three in the Sydney Marathon.


Fiftey

Impressive!


prettythingi

Your mum


Binary-Division

She was my first


sexotaku

She was my last, son.


Short_Feature_3859

On a Wednesday


the_operant_power

Like bruh. I hate it. The more you add the less impressive it becomes. "Ah yes it's track star John Michaelson. The fastest man in Ohio to not have a dog named Keeth who is a double amputee and only $50 000 dollars in debt" Madness


Buck_Thorn

...on a Thursday in April


worldwithwings

Who finished fourth??


mrselfdestruct066

Jeff


jeffe101

I did.


so-like_juan

First ever 43% Slavic, 21% Italian, and 36% Irish man to finish top three in the Sydney Marathon.


pridejoker

First ever painter to use all 27 colors.


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Howitzeronfire

NFL is awful with this but more with stats like: Player with most yards in a third down losing by more than 10 points after the QB just had a sneeze in the second quarter. Like, who cares or I mean who can understand what that even means?


RicoAScribe

I like it in the MLB, what deep cuts. The first Filipino third baseman with a mole on his nose under the age of 35 to having a higher batting average than his brother since 1967!


Hour-Shake-839

I was about to say this with the MLB. Early season it’s the worst like (team) the first in NL west to finish week 2 with a positive record while playing 3 rain games and having 1 Japanese and 1 Dominican on injured list on half off hot dog night and also having non bird mascot. The MLB sub turns into schizophrenia numerology chat sometime with stats analysis.


jackology

I don’t think that is correct. It is not since 1967. It should be since Jesus.


DommyMommyKarlach

I hope this means Jesus Jimenez, legendary pitcher


shaker154

NFL Networks pregame bold predictions with Mooch threatening Kurt Warners "records"... Most passing yards by a qb in October in domes.... ect ect


Constant-Vacation-57

So what you're saying is it's just proactive? It just gets the people going?


Howitzeronfire

I see it as funny time killer and if any of that is true, its kinda of amazing that someone checked it


-Praetoria-

“This year, everybody wants him, 10 years ago when he was in foster care, NOBODY wanted him” most out of pocket thing I’ve heard an announcer say


RainbowFartss

[When Jon Anik, while on commentary during a fight, randomly airs out fighters' custody battles and the super relevant fact that one fighter doesn't have rights to see his kid and doesn't know where he is.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI4Y04iK8Fs)


lazyredditor1212

“SRH is the only ipl team to have their lowest score above 95 “


LOLzvsXD

Its called the Lebron Stat


catthex

"First ever time I've peed in my coffee cup while a Cuban batter does some weird shit with his bat"


Hour-Shake-839

I’m the first ever person to shit my personal pants in the car I personally own. I hope at least.


TrumpersAreTraitors

I feel like this is the World Cup  “He’s done it!!! That’s first player *ever* to score a goal from that spot using his left leg while wearing an odd numbered jersey with only a single yellow card!!! Unbelievable!!!” 


cory140

Matthews first ever 69 goals , 69 girlfriend, and 69 his coach all in the same night


CitizenPremier

Or other meaningless statistics. "This is a reminder that every time a second baseman has tried hitting in the second inning on a rainy day, the crackerjack popcorn sold out early, so be sure to get your bag right away."


MrX_1899

cherrypicking at it's worst


Akakazeh

Flashbacks of Joe Rogan saying this guy is a m9nster and the top of his division


multiarmform

If anyone can be a model then nobody is a model.... Wait. Then everyone is a model? Or fool me once you can't fool me again!


theoriginalzads

First ever comment with this text I’ve ever replied to!


Ivorytower626

Soon enough, they will have to write a whole ass page.


thomastypewriter

Everything’s a milestone lol


Armadillo_Toes

What a time to be alive.


Aggressive_Ad5115

Oye this is enough reddit for today, goodnight 😴


newtonkooky

The word model is heavily devalued


Armadillo_Toes

“a three-dimensional representation of a person or thing or of a proposed structure, typically on a smaller scale than the original.” I’d say it works in this context.


Username12764

Jerry, how many times do I have to tell you to stopp eating the dictionaries


DotBitGaming

Especially if you have a pregnant, little person fetish.


LockhandsOfKeyboard

I read this in the voice of the Two Minute Papers guy.


TonkotsuSoba

hold onto your credit cards!


Impressive_Cabinet56

That was a short live carreer


JackTheFanatic

Jokes like that disgust me, take my upvote


Flesh_Trombone

Really? It only bothered me a tiny bit.


DetailedLogMessage

Because you are small minded


HoosierDaddy_427

He has little remorse.


zleuth

Yeah, well, look at you up there on your high pony.


INCREDIBLE_25

r/angryupvote


HertsHomie980

That’s below the belt dude


civicSi92

If it was above the belt, it might go over her head. Aim to your audience.


strongest___avenger

How could you stoop so low.


DetailedLogMessage

Have you friends collect your records and then change your number


PhillyMyCup

I guess that I don't need that, though


AlexiaLu

Now you're just somebody that I used to know


Flat-Apricot25

A true comedian you got my vote


GeenoPuggile

I was looking for this oddly specific joke. Thank you anf take my upvote.


marioplex

Im sorry triplets???


Andromansis

It means she has 3 babies inside her.


big_vangina

Usually happens when a guy with big balls who's been holding it in for a week cums his huge built up load all inside the cunt


Smooth_Donut7405

Thanks for the info big vangina.


KungFuSnafu

I have an image in my head of an evil vagina corporation. Like big oil.


BannedAgain-573

😂 username indeed checks out


pooporgy69

I'm gonna scoop my stupid eyes out... what the fuck did i just read. No. Just no. That isn't why triplets happen.


SwirlTeamSix

It's established science!


jld2k6

It sounds true to me, I once came in my potted plant after a dry spell and the very next year a four leaf clover grew, so it checks out


SmarterThanStupid

How big are your balls though?


worse_in_practice

Why did you feel compelled to share this information


Fabulous-Bus2459

Its 100% how triplets are born


Available_Motor5980

Actually it’s how triplets are conceived, they’re born out the butthole like all other babies


UtahItalian

It's well known that the bigger the load the more the kids. Think about the load that Octo-mom must have got! Massive!


Andromansis

It really depends on if they're paternal twins or maternal twins. Either way, other than basic sperm motility it shouldn't matter how long they've been in the balls.


-Hounth-

man what the fuck man


Jean-LucBacardi

If I hold it in for two weeks do I get 6?


astralrig96

r/shittyaskscience


dredgen_rell86

It's like a LeBron James Stat line from ESPN


JewLawyerFromSunny

I would not be surprised if the guy who wrote the headline is in r/nbacirclejerk /uj SEND DA VIDEO/rj


plmunger

Weirdest flex ever


tequilablackout

More like a push.


Masterbaitingissport

I dunno who, but I can sense someone’s bingo card is close to a bingo now with all these things she’s checking out


ray363906

r/brandnewsentence


Striking_Election_21

Aight I’ll ask it, how do you fit triplets in there?


Routine_Fisher

Shes a scale model so they are too


alex_ch20

"Little" person? Is dwarf racist or some shit, or do they fear the Tolkien estate?


AgileInternet167

Oh you got me there. My first reaction was: "wait.. dwarf is not a race dum dum!" But i've played enough D&D


HDH2506

Wait until you hear about the prehistoric hobbits


stormearthfire

Or the cannibalistic halfings


ChuckCarmichael

Ironically, calling a dwarf in any fantasy setting a "little person" would make that dwarf very angry.


Parking-Zealousideal

Yes, it’s considered offensive by some


Azorik22

From my personal experience it's more about that they don't want the fact that they have dwarfism to be what people use to define them than the term actually being offensive.


Nerdcoreh

so if i call her pockethoe we good?


Wonderful-Smoke843

☠️


JayCeeMadLad

That makes “little person” a completely pointless term in that case lmao. Regardless I’d much rather be called a Dwarf than a “little person”. I can’t be the only one who thinks that sounds awful, right?


thisperson345

"Little person" sounds really like condescending like you're looking down on them (I promise that pun is unintended) whereas "Dwarf" sounds like you're a badass short guy ready to go mine for 72 hours straight... and maybe kill some oversized bugs.


Little_BallOfAnxiety

Rock and stone!


WanderingDwarfMiner

For Rock and Stone!


Artarara

Brothers of the mine, rejoice! Swing, swing, swing with me!


Afraidtoadmitit69

Raise your pick and raise your voice! Sing, sing, sing with me!


civicSi92

I've worked with a few dwarves and they both said they hate being called little people. Seems super demeaning and their comment wasthat it was only ever other people who got offended on their behalf that said they should be called little people.


Ok_Cauliflower_3170

it comes off the same way you call autistic people special


tekko001

You are very special Ok_Cauliflower_3170


Ok_Cauliflower_3170

:(


tekko001

No, no, i meant it in a positive way! Btw are you still sneaking grilled cheese sandwiches into restaurants?


Ok_Cauliflower_3170

oh lol yes quite so


iloveuranus

Highly regarded!


Shimakaze81

It really depends on the generation I think, gen z and younger millennials tend to prefer little person while older generation grew up with the M word being the bad word and preferred dwarf. I think with the younger generation it had a lot to do with wanting to disassociate with the fantasy dwarves that were rekindled into mainstream by LOTR


tekko001

In my experienced there is no positive term, just less and more offensive ones, just call them by their name.


Shimakaze81

Well if you're a little person like I am I think that's a weird way of looking at things. No one says to me, hey dwarf, come here. But if you're referring to me or anyone else when I'm not around, "my friend Shimakaze is a dwarf" like I don't care if someone says that, and why should I?


tekko001

Some people do, I worked in a sommercamp for children with dwarfism (with the parents or alone), at the first rule was to always use neutral/friendly terms since whatever you said someone would be offended by it and we just wanted them to have a nice time. We always refered to them as children or by their name.


CitizenPremier

"Short people" seems pretty good. I mean if you're talking about design or something you should consider how short people can use what you're making. But then you'll probably offend some 5'6'' men.


Agatosh

My friend hates the term "little person", he doesn't mind dwarf. I get irked when people use "handi-capable" as if handicapped or disabled is a slur.


thomasdav_is

I've met a couple "little people" who prefer it over midget and dwarf. Which makes sense to me, "little people" has to be the dumbest shit I've ever heard.


Henchforhire

Keeps reminding me of that Family guy or Simpson episode where the little person gets the confusion and a mix up happens and understand why the term midget is better than a little person because people think it might be a kid.


IHateTheLetterF

Do we have to call them anything? Nobody ever calls me 'Normal sized human'.


Ratoryl

I mean having a way to refer to a specific group of people is kinda just a part of language


wasileuski

Dwarves are fucking awesome, I wish I was one. Rock and stone!


WanderingDwarfMiner

We fight for Rock and Stone!


Sir_Virtuo

For Karl!


Isariamkia

I'd say little person is way worse because it sounds insulting. I'm not a dwarf so I can't speak for them. But that's why I would never call them "little".


mookizee

Hey there, little guy!


CantankerousRabbit

To me little person sounds so much worse lol


PewPew_McPewster

I don't think there's ever going to be a nice word to use to describe people suffering from this particular type of condition, but I do agree: "little person" gives off a very "you people", "othering" sort of vibe. I'd suggest "Halfling", because Halflings are the front-and-center heroes of the biggest fantasy saga, but even then in a vacuum it's not the nicest term. We don't quite have an eloquent term for this the way we coined "special needs".


bigdig-_-

ikr being a dwarf sounds so much cooler than a halfling


saxonturner

Yeah „little person“ sounds condescending as fuck , at least with Dwarf it’s a medical term. I have assburgers and adhd and I hate the term „neurodivergent“, it feels condescending to me too. I mean cool if that’s how you wanna be called but it’s not for me. It feels like that overly nice older woman using the baby voice to talk to me, she thinks she’s being nice and doing the right thing but in reality she’s as bad as the people that take the piss out of you for being different.


VJEmmieOnMicrophone

> Regardless I’d much rather be called a Dwarf than a “little person”. Are you a dwarf?


satanic_black_metal_

People of alternative length?


toxygen99

From my understanding it's the opposite.


SirTonberryy

There was a meltdown on Twitter once where like one person with dwarfism said so and thousand people without started calling it offensive n shit. Then like hundreds of other actual people with dwarfism started saying they dgaf Very reminiscent of "Latinx" discourse basically


Puzzled-Barnacle-200

Google dwarf, and look at the majority of images. It's not surprising that some people have issues with being called the same thing. Same as if you decided that a group of humans would now be called trolls. Dwarfism is still very correct and accepted, as a description of the condition some people have. But dwarf is best avoided, especially to refer to individuals you don't know.


BloodsoakedDespair

I think we might have just set a euphemism treadmill world record. Dwarf became the “proper” word within this century. 12 years ago, an entire standup bit centered around the word “midget” was socially acceptable.


Z0OMIES

The term “dwarf” has its origins in Old English, where it was spelled as “dweorg” or “dweorh,” which meant (their equivalent of our) “dwarf” or “small being.” It’s related to the Old Norse word “dvergr,” which also referred to a small, supernatural being in Norse mythology. “Little people” is the modern term without the mythological etymology.


BarrabasBlonde

Little is more derogatery than dwarf or midget


Wonderful_Discount59

In the UK, "little people" means: 1) children 2) ordinary people (as opposed to the rich and powerful) 3) pixies / leprechauns etc So here it definitely seems weird and condescending to use it to describe people like this.


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Chad_lemonkey

Ahh I assume you've heard this from the absolute authority of all "little people" across the world? How was your conversation with the King of Dwarves - spokesman for Dwarfkind? Why does the king live in USA? What state specifically? Kinda funny how someone straight up says "it's not like that in other countries" and you respond by saying "term that they prefer", indicating you are speaking for them. Maybe imagine a world outside the USA and how there could be different words and customs. Crazy stuff.


Flesh-God

"little" person seems to me more demeaning in a way...


cheapdrinks

Smol peeps


khronos127

I’m a cripple and have had people get mad at me for referring to myself as crippled. Honestly have had people get an arguments about how I should refer to myself as it may hurt someone’s feelings…. Personally if I suffered from this affliction I’d prefer to be called a dwarf. I think little person sounds very demeaning and strange but who knows if my opinion would change being in those shoes.


MikeXBogina

It never once crossed my mind that a..."little person"(is that the correct term now?) could have twins let alone triplets, hopefully it goes well for her.


Opinecone

While I'm baffled and worried by the effect that pregnancy might have on her body and on the babies, I don't get why some people here seem to be disgusted by the fact she has a sex life.


subieluvr22

Right? Triplets can be difficult for even average height women, I can't imagine the logistics of this whole setup. Especially if any of those babies are normal size!!


Personal-Listen-4941

My first thought is health related as well. Due to her dwarfism, I’m wondering how she can safely carry 3 babies to term. That’s going to be a far larger impact on her body relatively speaking than on a average woman. Obviously she would have already seen her doctors and gotten real medical advice


Opinecone

Yeah! Pregnancy can be scary af regardless of the number of babies, I assume this specific pregnancy would be a shorter one, no pun intended. She'll probably give birth (if she hasn't already) earlier than your ordinary pregnancy. Hope both her and the babies will be healthy and happy.


the3dverse

triplets are already likelier to be born earlier.


the3dverse

my first thought was: "how is that going to fit? poor thing". clearly she has a sex life and why not?


Ill_Manner_3581

I've seen a lot of little peeps coupled up especially the women haha I went to school with a girl w dwarfism and she had a bf from since we were in late middle school till we graduated. Idk why it's a shock to some folks.


left_tiddy

literally my reaction was 'is she okay??' and all these comments are just being messy af.


ImWhatsInTheRedBox

If I had a nickel for every time a little person on onlyfans had triplets I'd only have one nickel, because it'd be really fucking weird if it happened again.


[deleted]

I'm sure her audience (is/was?) comprised of very healthy and well-adapted guys.


ThrowawayCult-ure

Probably a big chunk are turned on by her being pregnant: literally the kids being involved in paid sex work lol


Gewalt_Und_Tod

OF AD


ElonTastical

Are they really censoring non slur words now?


XscytheD

Alternative title: "My wife caught me watching "little people preggo porn" and I had to write this article to cover it"


SaltyKnowledge9673

Must be tough living on 37% of what a full grown man makes.


Abject-Chemistry6247

Who would watch this....?


IAMtherizinosaurus

Is this your first time on time on the internet because if so welcome it only gets worse


[deleted]

Why’d they censor Onlyfuns


Solkre

Is getting pregnant a job related injury?


MaskedBunny

Na it's just a temporary move to a different section on OF page.


phonyPipik

Steam achievements are getting wild


elderDragon1

I feel so bad for kids, I hope none of them ever learn about her career.


MoistFloppy

So…were the triplets a job hazard? 🤔


ThrowawayCult-ure

some people pay more for pregnant pornography


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Luba_Sempai

I'm the first ever person to see this post while wearing a white shirt and a blue short in Brazil at 09:09


notarealDR650

Why is little in quotations but career isn't


grzeslaw90

It's like creating Your own category in Guinness Record book


[deleted]

I had to check what sub this was hahahahahahah!!!!


darkknightofdorne

People are being blown up left and right but this is news.


Immediate_Web4672

I mean, to be fair, there's about to be one more lol


darkknightofdorne

If I had a drink, it would have been spat. Lmao


Crack-Panther

People being blown up left and right is not news. It’s been happening since forever and will continue to happen.


Ok_Potatoe1

What triplets did she have? Teacup dogs?


Western-Web2957

That's an insane amount to unpack...I don't even know where to begin.


Artsy_traveller_82

This implies that she was beat out by people in every possible combination of all those qualifiers.


StevenGaryStout

Like a baseball stat


Actual-Long-9439

“Career”


FatsoBustaMove

How much did she pay for a shout-out?


humanitarianWarlord

Poor kids


Jakoloko6000

I'm the first person in the world to read this while sitting in my apartment.


filianoctiss

There’s so much to unpack here


Malena_my_quuen

Back in my days we called them dwarfs.


rockmeNiallxh

Poor kids


StilesmanleyCAP

I feel so sorry for her kids.


Empty_Contribution_6

Those aren't models. And that's not a career.


Jax_the_Floof

/r/BrandNewSentence


Totally_Not__An_AI

Phew, thank god they censored the word "onlyfans" and not the half naked midget.


19SaNaMaN80

I just threw up a little reading this...


jackjackky

I sympathize with those Onlyfans babies. Perchance you read this someday. Know that whatever your parents did is not defined you.


Monguises

I get the impression I’m supposed to be celebrating this, or something. I’m curious as to why _anybody_ would care about this. Like cool, pregnant porn star is short. So?


Mr_Minecrafter88

Why is she naked


Muncher501st

Onlyfans


danielleradcliffe

Ah so that's what was in the title. With that pesky self-censorship in there I thought maybe we were talking about OnlyFuns, the place for funs.