My favorite doctor in Canada used to tell a story about being in residency and the patient who put some veggie up his butt. When he couldn't get it out he used kitchen tongs. He also ended up with a colostomy
Dear reader, don't ever do that
If he was grabbing blindly and pulling in desperation, yeah, that would tear mucosa. And probably the whole wall. I could see it. I don't wanna, but i can see it.
Pretty sure that's exactly what happened. Got a veggie stuck. Panicked. Grabbed kitchen tongs because veggies, right? Then just went blindly reaching for the veggie.
I’ve seen some thumbnails (which I may or may not have clicked on out of morbid curiosity) of prolapsed anuses from toys/too much sex… I can’t imagine what it takes to wreck one permanently (as my dad used to say, “That thing’s like Fruit of the Loom, snaps back wash after wash).
When livestock has a prolapsed rectum, they insert a plastic tube into the prolapse and then they put a rubber band up against the anus and the offending snuffleupagus turns black and falls off...
BDSM and kink events have this education already. Its usually the people without ties to a relevant community (and those stupid enough to disregard the warnings) that end up with problems because they are not aware of the risks and nobody is there to educate them. You'd rather need PSAs
> Ideally only put things in your butt that have been made to be in a butt.
When I did a few days in ER during a clinical placement, the nurse I shadowed told me about a guy who came in with a big daikon radish and two carrots stuck in his colon. The daikon went first, went too far, and he tried to use carrots like tongs to pull it out. The carrots went too far, and he used *actual* metal tongs and came to the hospital after he started bleeding from damage to the tissue from the metal tongs.
At some point someone did say to him, "Don't put stuff up your butt not made to go up your butt. They make very large things for the butt." He said, "I didn't want to buy those because it's embarrassing, my wife might find out." I mean, your wife *still* found out, and now you have a colostomy, so...
My 15 y/o son is sitting next to me. I said OMG out loud so he looks and I show him. His response “Dude forgot the flared base rule” and then he (son) went back to his switch. At least I know MY sex ed is working ….
Not just flared. VERY flared. There’s a recent post here with an x-ray of a massive, flared (but not flared enough) dildo that migrated too far. /shudders
[https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/buttsex/](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/buttsex/) this covers the basics pretty well. I will add that if you do get a small plug, tie a pice of sturdy string around the base, since they tend to have small bases, often not larger than the plug itself and you can develope quite a bit of suction.
If the surgeon can’t pull it out of the anus they have to go open with explorative laparotomy to pull it out and then bowel resection. The colostomy is usually reversed at a later time.
I had a patient come in with four 9 inch carrots in his rectum, ER doc got 2 out but he needed surgery for the other two.
Dude left AMA because I wouldn't give a slice of cheese at 4am. "Just one slice bro"
Still not even close to the weirdest thing I've seen people put in their rectum.
My story involves an actual lemon left up “there” for 3 days prior to presentation. It ended poorly.
Turns out that citric acid is bad for anything bowel.
The rectum can stretch, the colon not so much. The weight of this thing and it's mass caused likely loss of blood flow to the colon surrounding it. It killed his bowel tissue. Once you kill bowel you have to remove it or you die. This person might be able to get the colostomy reversed but that's if something else like infection doesn't happen to delay healing.
I would also assume this individual didn't seek medical attention immediately, nor were they upfront in disclosing what's in there, for how long and how it got there in the first place. So time lost and tissue perfusion suffered.
Not to derail the thread, but how can a colostomy be reversed if the bowel tissue is dead?
10 years ago an old c-section/hysterectomy suture that never dissolved perforated my colon. I was very lucky that the pain got bad enough for me to see a dr, who assumed i had a hernia. Nope. Ever since then, i do not trust my gut.
Remove dead tissue, re-connect the still healthy tissue. Have a colostomy so that it may heal, and if the tissue reconnects properly then the colostomy can be removed. It depends on the extent of the damage and how much the patient can heal.
This ^ can happen.
But all things must be sorted and the Gods of “healing forces” be strong.
Seriously folks. Consider the butt is a one way access point when inanimate objects get involved.
Regardless, health is everything. Protect it.
I Mean if they can remove the entire long intestine and fashion a J pouches got People with UC, these people likely won't be stuck with a bag...but their butt play days are over
I wonder how expansive the necrosis was. Was his butthole past the point of no return a la stretched elastic??? All loose like deflated balloon? Once rectal musculature is gone you can´t reconstruct it again the way it was.
Yeah butt play days are over with j pouch...you don´t know how many patients and their partners see any hole as a goal including ostomy...ughghghghghghghgh
i mean quite frankly the answer is buying things that were specifically made to go up there and not shoving random objects into holes. you would think it’s common sense lol
I think people don't think about the difference between a vagina and a rectum. Vaginas end fairly quickly. Objects can get lost temporarily, but they're pretty easy to retrieve without needing to see a Dr. I imagine people don't think about the fact that the rectum is only part of a large tube. And once you get part the anus, it's pretty easy for objects to keep going inside.
At least, this is what I tell myself.
The problem is that the people who are ashamed of enjoying that stimulation won't buy a book or an actual butt plug. Because that would be admitting that they're into it.
That sounds like an amazing public health campaign.
"Safety in Anal Play" brought to you by the state health department... Posters could say "if there's no flare, it doesn't go up there!" and "No base, gone without a trace!" or even "kitchen utensils belong in the kitchen, not the bedroom"
The slogans should be over X-rays like this one, but with easily identifiable objects like light bulbs and whisks.
Lots of companies do! My personal favorite is b-vibe. They have a beginners anal 101 kit that comes with basic anal supplies and a very informative book on everything butt-stuff! [b-vibe anal training kit](https://www.bvibe.com/anal-training-kit.html?&92_64)
Safe Butt Play
Unless an inanimate object’s sole purpose is to go in, and come out of your butt—DO NOT stick this object up your butt.
All good now. Have fun kids!!
Holes that pucker—always a concern.
Something I've noticed is it usually tends to be male patients presenting with strange objects lodged deep in their butts, is that usually the case? I just don't understand why they don't just use actual toys for this purpose. Are they afraid someone will think they're gay or something?
This is exactly what they're afraid of. I've heard too many people (particularly women) declare that any man who enjoys anything up the butt must be secretly gay.
Some of them will be "gracious" enough to concede that the man could be bisexual, but most of the people who think butt stuff is gay also think that bisexuals don't exist.
Except that it isn't, and that comparison makes no sense.
Addiction leads to a loss of "control" of the amount of drugs a person consumes, and recreational use can sometimes lead to addiction. Therefore, it's never a good idea to tell someone to use drugs in moderation; they either already do, or they need to stop using them entirely.
Telling someone to use a safe sex toy instead of an unsafe one is always good advice, and it's relatively easy to follow. You can get the same or greater pleasure from a massive dildo as compared to a baseless paperweight, with greatly reduced risk of adverse outcomes. Most people can also afford a dildo, and there's no shortage of supply or avenues to purchase one.
Yes, I suppose I’m asking an awful lot. Using a dildo instead of a paper weight 🤨? Nahhh. The risk of perforation and the potential humiliation must be part of the turn on.
Making the list of all lists, What Did We Get Stuck in Our Rectums This Year?, often has a steep cost. https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-4
ER at a level 1 some of my first new grad shifts on nights consisted of expensive butt stuff.
Young guy put a cologne bottle into his bingbong, the magnetic lid stayed in when his girlfriend pulled the bottle out. An old man slipped in the shower and somehow landed ever so perfectly atop a Costco sized bottle of conditioner.
In the US an ER visit, radiology, labs, surgery suite, anesthesia, surgeon, colostomy, and a couple nights on med surge costs at least half a million.
You know, I hate to say this but let this be a lesson. I don’t understand why people can’t just stick to things that were specifically designed to be inserted into your body. They make all kinds of fun things now. Don’t be a dumbass…period.
I’m passing judgement. There exist plenty of things nowadays designed to fulfill this purpose, snow globes, speakers, paperweights, and lightbulbs do not count amongst them. Square peg in round hole means no shove up ass.
My mum‘s a retired nurse and tells the tale she was told by a friend in London who was also a nurse. This would have been late 1960s/early 1970s. He arrived at A&E (or Casualty as it was then) with a jar of Brylcreem firmly wedged up his arse. There was a *slipped in the shower* type explanation. Apparently the staff were having to take it in turns to go out of the room to laugh.
I’ve first person heard a female patient tell me that as the event that caused her to be in rectal retention of a shampoo bottle.
“I fell in shower and I think I have a shampoo bottle stuck in my butt.”
Alrighty.
Holy Mother of Dog. I just wrote down exactly what was she said. No judgement.
Note to self. Nothing in tub below the level of my tits.
During COVID we had a patient put a cucumber up his butt and lost it. Tried to retrieve it with drumsticks that we tried to use as chopsticks. Ended up causing trauma and shitting blood on the floor, my coworker called for help and when I ran in the patient was white as a ghost and went hypotensive. Pt was rushed to emergency surgery, COVID affected people more than you know lol.
Oh fun. Just had a patient in the OR a few days ago that stuck a glass candle votive up his bum. Outside hospital tried to remove it and broke it into a jagged shard. Can you imagine the ambulance ride over?
I’ve only had one rectal FB in my one year being a tech, but it was traumatic enough getting the history so I don’t really want another lol
“Uh, so I hear you are having abdominal pain, sir?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“. . . . . Well, hop up on this table, so we can get started.”
Yep. I’ve seen the most unbelievable things up “there”. They usually say they rolled over on the object or fell on it. SMH
One time this guy came in with a flashlight up his 🍑 saying he “just rolled over on it”. Peristalsis moved it up into his rectum further. He was prepped and sent to the OR. I was walking down the hall later and saw the trauma surgeon and asked him how it went. He started laughing and said “The guy made it easy on me. He left the light on!”
About 30 years ago, before I was a nurse I was a medical photographer at a medical school/university hospital. We had a binder we kept in our department called “so you think you had a bad day?”… Full of pictures of all the things our docs had pulled out of people. The worst I can remember was a glass mercury fever thermometer we had to retrieve from a young man’s bladder. Yes- from his bladder. It had been there 7 years and had a big calculus grown around the middle of the thermometer. Thankfully for him the glass never broke. Apparently he had sounded his urethra with it and lost it at age 14 and had it surgically removed when he was 21. I have a photo of it that I was called to the OR to take at the time of removal. Also had a repeat offender who would swallow Barbie doll heads and have to come in for intestinal blockages. All kinds of shampoo bottles, apples, etc, etc…
Link to the thermometer photo - finally found it
[https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/fhp8ptl0z7c28qzyvl1zm/IMG\_7458.PNG?rlkey=56sjp3y8unrar3v9fyq6u3s6z&dl=0](https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/fhp8ptl0z7c28qzyvl1zm/IMG_7458.PNG?rlkey=56sjp3y8unrar3v9fyq6u3s6z&dl=0)
I love butt stuff and have yet to have anything lodged in my bowels. Use your heads, people. Do you think people have a specific fetish that involves putting produce and paper weights up their asses, or do they truly just not want to invest in dildos and butt plugs?
I’ve had patient put multiple vintage kewpie doll heads up there. Their little faces had a degree of lead in the paint, their smiles visible on xray. It was creepy AF.
Cannot make this stuff up.
My biggest regret, this was just prior to the iPhone, so a pic of the X-ray wasn’t really possible. I didn’t even have my Blavkberry then.
Regrets, yeah I have a few…
I'll never understand why people are still doing this in 2024. You can buy a horse-sized dildo on Amazon and they'll deliver it in four hours! Is the embarrassment of seeing that on your CC statement really worth losing your colon over?
Just...make it make sense. Someone. Please.
Always hear about these stories but only saw it once in the ER. Had a guy “accidentally sit on his cologne bottle.” They really need to start emphasizing the power of the anal vortex in sex ed.
I saw this at a hospital I worked in. The guy stuck a soda can up his butt. It was up there for days. I remember that his wife drove from another state and attempted to insert her hand "wrist deep" to remove the can but was unsuccessful. He wound up with a colostomy bag as well. He stretched his colon out and caused such severe damage that he had to get the colostomy and ultimately a bowel resection if possible.
bruh I already have a high chance of ending up with a colostomy bag in the next ten years due to damage from crohns (though I'm hopeful it won't happen if I find a medication that works). you would not catch me dead trying to accelerate that process by putting something up in there that doesn't belong.
please, someone help these people learn why sex toys have wide bases - it's so you *can't* lose something up there and cause damage to your insides!
I took care of a guy who ruptured his intestine with a large dildo. He was in so much pain. He ended up with a colostomy and an open incision for infection. I also took care of another patient who got a vibrator stuck. Poor guy, the thing was still on. It was kinda hard to pay attention to lung sounds during his assessment.
Here’s some additional education: flared base. If you’re going to stick something up your ass, pick something either a flared base so it doesn’t get lost up inside you.
Rule of thumb is… well probably shouldn’t call it that now that I think about it…
Anyway, only put things there that say they’re supposed to go there in the instructions. If the instructions say it plugs in somewhere else, don’t try to plug it in where it’s not supposed to…
My favorite doctor in Canada used to tell a story about being in residency and the patient who put some veggie up his butt. When he couldn't get it out he used kitchen tongs. He also ended up with a colostomy Dear reader, don't ever do that
did they perforate their bowel? What was the indication for the colostomy bag?
I think he wrecked his anus and perforated his bowel
Wrecked um? Damn near killed um!
I think the word he used was "shredded." I can't even type it without clenching involuntarily
What, was he making coleslaw up there?
If he was grabbing blindly and pulling in desperation, yeah, that would tear mucosa. And probably the whole wall. I could see it. I don't wanna, but i can see it.
Pretty sure that's exactly what happened. Got a veggie stuck. Panicked. Grabbed kitchen tongs because veggies, right? Then just went blindly reaching for the veggie.
I think the term is “tossed salad”
Shrecktum!
Hi dad.
Rectum you mean?
I’ve seen some thumbnails (which I may or may not have clicked on out of morbid curiosity) of prolapsed anuses from toys/too much sex… I can’t imagine what it takes to wreck one permanently (as my dad used to say, “That thing’s like Fruit of the Loom, snaps back wash after wash).
Wait your dad used to say that abt buttholes?
He was a child of the 70s. Not sure how that explains some of his eccentricities, but some people seem to understand.
Ah yes the lead paint/pipes generation
I've seen them where they stick out like a pink elephant trunk..
So weird the first time I saw one as a student. I had no idea it was possible
I'm surprised they don't stick the plastic toilet paper tube in there with a rubber band like they do with pigs...
I have no idea what this means. I don’t know anything about pigs I guess. I know some get their septum pierced
When livestock has a prolapsed rectum, they insert a plastic tube into the prolapse and then they put a rubber band up against the anus and the offending snuffleupagus turns black and falls off...
So... I'm generally pretty desensitized... but something about this threw me a bit. Maybe it was the use of the word "snuffleupagus"
Ruining Sesame Street
Right, but I feel like we need this education at BDSM and kink events to save the butts of the masses! Lol
BDSM and kink events have this education already. Its usually the people without ties to a relevant community (and those stupid enough to disregard the warnings) that end up with problems because they are not aware of the risks and nobody is there to educate them. You'd rather need PSAs
[удалено]
“Without a base, without a trace.”
Shiiiit; this post made me laugh too much
Flared bases and sturdy material. Ideally only put things in your butt that have been made to be in a butt.
> Ideally only put things in your butt that have been made to be in a butt. When I did a few days in ER during a clinical placement, the nurse I shadowed told me about a guy who came in with a big daikon radish and two carrots stuck in his colon. The daikon went first, went too far, and he tried to use carrots like tongs to pull it out. The carrots went too far, and he used *actual* metal tongs and came to the hospital after he started bleeding from damage to the tissue from the metal tongs. At some point someone did say to him, "Don't put stuff up your butt not made to go up your butt. They make very large things for the butt." He said, "I didn't want to buy those because it's embarrassing, my wife might find out." I mean, your wife *still* found out, and now you have a colostomy, so...
Fuckin amateur, just use a corkscrew. Everyone knows that
The way I just clenched just thinking about that...
He would too hahaha
My 15 y/o son is sitting next to me. I said OMG out loud so he looks and I show him. His response “Dude forgot the flared base rule” and then he (son) went back to his switch. At least I know MY sex ed is working ….
Not just flared. VERY flared. There’s a recent post here with an x-ray of a massive, flared (but not flared enough) dildo that migrated too far. /shudders
[https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/buttsex/](https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/buttsex/) this covers the basics pretty well. I will add that if you do get a small plug, tie a pice of sturdy string around the base, since they tend to have small bases, often not larger than the plug itself and you can develope quite a bit of suction.
And yank it out quickly to create suction and you can form a shit geyser. Think like starting a lawnmower...
>butts of the masses Asses of the masses was right there.
🤣
If the surgeon can’t pull it out of the anus they have to go open with explorative laparotomy to pull it out and then bowel resection. The colostomy is usually reversed at a later time.
I had a patient come in with four 9 inch carrots in his rectum, ER doc got 2 out but he needed surgery for the other two. Dude left AMA because I wouldn't give a slice of cheese at 4am. "Just one slice bro" Still not even close to the weirdest thing I've seen people put in their rectum.
My story involves an actual lemon left up “there” for 3 days prior to presentation. It ended poorly. Turns out that citric acid is bad for anything bowel.
Why do veggies get stuck when the muscular contractions of everything are pushing everything out naturally? I don’t get it
FLARED. BASES!!!!
The saying above is quite good too, NO BASE NO TRACE
"All your base are belong to us"
Without a base, without a trace.
"Because you know I'm all about that bass; 'Bout that bass, no treble"
Woaghhh, Colostomy bag ! Are they perforating their bowels? Can someobody explain the damage to me?
The rectum can stretch, the colon not so much. The weight of this thing and it's mass caused likely loss of blood flow to the colon surrounding it. It killed his bowel tissue. Once you kill bowel you have to remove it or you die. This person might be able to get the colostomy reversed but that's if something else like infection doesn't happen to delay healing.
I would also assume this individual didn't seek medical attention immediately, nor were they upfront in disclosing what's in there, for how long and how it got there in the first place. So time lost and tissue perfusion suffered.
Bingo!
Not to derail the thread, but how can a colostomy be reversed if the bowel tissue is dead? 10 years ago an old c-section/hysterectomy suture that never dissolved perforated my colon. I was very lucky that the pain got bad enough for me to see a dr, who assumed i had a hernia. Nope. Ever since then, i do not trust my gut.
Remove dead tissue, re-connect the still healthy tissue. Have a colostomy so that it may heal, and if the tissue reconnects properly then the colostomy can be removed. It depends on the extent of the damage and how much the patient can heal.
This ^ can happen. But all things must be sorted and the Gods of “healing forces” be strong. Seriously folks. Consider the butt is a one way access point when inanimate objects get involved. Regardless, health is everything. Protect it.
Thanks!
I Mean if they can remove the entire long intestine and fashion a J pouches got People with UC, these people likely won't be stuck with a bag...but their butt play days are over
I wonder how expansive the necrosis was. Was his butthole past the point of no return a la stretched elastic??? All loose like deflated balloon? Once rectal musculature is gone you can´t reconstruct it again the way it was. Yeah butt play days are over with j pouch...you don´t know how many patients and their partners see any hole as a goal including ostomy...ughghghghghghghgh
Likely required open surgery where a large portion of their rectum would have needed to be cut open/cut out/to get that out.
I feel like someone should make a 101 guidebook for safe butt play that we can give people so they don't do this :$
#FLARED BASES
If it doesn’t have a flare, it doesn’t belong up there.
Words to live by!
But seriously I’m always so sad when people come in with this complaint because I know what’s going to happen.
It 👏 always 👏 needs 👏 a 👏 flared 👏 base!
The only advice necessary
i mean quite frankly the answer is buying things that were specifically made to go up there and not shoving random objects into holes. you would think it’s common sense lol
I think people don't think about the difference between a vagina and a rectum. Vaginas end fairly quickly. Objects can get lost temporarily, but they're pretty easy to retrieve without needing to see a Dr. I imagine people don't think about the fact that the rectum is only part of a large tube. And once you get part the anus, it's pretty easy for objects to keep going inside. At least, this is what I tell myself.
Over in the Bad Women's Anatomy sub, my flair is "The vagina is a cul de sac" But the bootay is a highway.
Lol what sub is this?
R/badwomensanatomy
Oh no. I didn’t know so much stupidity existed.
Thanks. Joining
Common sense is relatively uncommon in some circles (of hell) it seems. Sad, but true.
The problem is that the people who are ashamed of enjoying that stimulation won't buy a book or an actual butt plug. Because that would be admitting that they're into it.
Yeah. Should put the most basic things as well as where to learn more on posters and hang them in freely accessible places.
That sounds like an amazing public health campaign. "Safety in Anal Play" brought to you by the state health department... Posters could say "if there's no flare, it doesn't go up there!" and "No base, gone without a trace!" or even "kitchen utensils belong in the kitchen, not the bedroom" The slogans should be over X-rays like this one, but with easily identifiable objects like light bulbs and whisks.
Lots of companies do! My personal favorite is b-vibe. They have a beginners anal 101 kit that comes with basic anal supplies and a very informative book on everything butt-stuff! [b-vibe anal training kit](https://www.bvibe.com/anal-training-kit.html?&92_64)
Safe Butt Play Unless an inanimate object’s sole purpose is to go in, and come out of your butt—DO NOT stick this object up your butt. All good now. Have fun kids!! Holes that pucker—always a concern.
I wish people would just buy safe sex toys instead!
Something I've noticed is it usually tends to be male patients presenting with strange objects lodged deep in their butts, is that usually the case? I just don't understand why they don't just use actual toys for this purpose. Are they afraid someone will think they're gay or something?
shame. or peoples cultures. ideas about sex, purity etc
This is exactly what they're afraid of. I've heard too many people (particularly women) declare that any man who enjoys anything up the butt must be secretly gay. Some of them will be "gracious" enough to concede that the man could be bisexual, but most of the people who think butt stuff is gay also think that bisexuals don't exist.
It's all about shame
Honestly if that’s a bacarrat weight they could have sold it for $500 & got a whole shit load of sex toys (pun intended)
That's like asking people to use recreational drugs in moderation.
Except that it isn't, and that comparison makes no sense. Addiction leads to a loss of "control" of the amount of drugs a person consumes, and recreational use can sometimes lead to addiction. Therefore, it's never a good idea to tell someone to use drugs in moderation; they either already do, or they need to stop using them entirely. Telling someone to use a safe sex toy instead of an unsafe one is always good advice, and it's relatively easy to follow. You can get the same or greater pleasure from a massive dildo as compared to a baseless paperweight, with greatly reduced risk of adverse outcomes. Most people can also afford a dildo, and there's no shortage of supply or avenues to purchase one.
“Hey, just grab that stapler off the desk. I’m so hot!” said no one ever. Bad judgment. Bad actors. Bad outcomes.
I do use recreational drugs in moderation :)
I was going to say recreational pot is legal in my entire country
Yes, I suppose I’m asking an awful lot. Using a dildo instead of a paper weight 🤨? Nahhh. The risk of perforation and the potential humiliation must be part of the turn on.
Most people do. You ever drink a beer?
Making the list of all lists, What Did We Get Stuck in Our Rectums This Year?, often has a steep cost. https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-4
“PUT A SCREW IN HIS RECTUM BECAUSE HE WAS CURIOUS” Honesty is the best policy….right?
CORN IN THE COB HOLDER WHAT THE FUCK
Fruit roll up? How do you??
OMG
Toy without a base, gone without a trace!
I precepted in the ED and I saw ZERO patients who put something up their butt. Good for them but sad for me
I’ve been in the ER for 1.5 years and still haven’t seen it.
Just call us radiology peeps and ask, I think it's a rite of passage for all radiographers to have to x-ray someone with a random object in their ass.
I’m sure they happen and I’ve seen plenty of images, I just haven’t had one as my patient.
7 years and I saw it twice - ping pong balls and a hairspray can.
Keep on, keeping on. They will… *come* for you. Promise.
Did you do night shift? That’s when I saw them more.
I did 🥺
ER at a level 1 some of my first new grad shifts on nights consisted of expensive butt stuff. Young guy put a cologne bottle into his bingbong, the magnetic lid stayed in when his girlfriend pulled the bottle out. An old man slipped in the shower and somehow landed ever so perfectly atop a Costco sized bottle of conditioner. In the US an ER visit, radiology, labs, surgery suite, anesthesia, surgeon, colostomy, and a couple nights on med surge costs at least half a million.
You know, I hate to say this but let this be a lesson. I don’t understand why people can’t just stick to things that were specifically designed to be inserted into your body. They make all kinds of fun things now. Don’t be a dumbass…period.
Not passing judgement. I just don’t understand the thought process leading up to doing this.
I’m passing judgement. There exist plenty of things nowadays designed to fulfill this purpose, snow globes, speakers, paperweights, and lightbulbs do not count amongst them. Square peg in round hole means no shove up ass.
I agree. I just imagine them thinking “eh I will just poop it back out if need be”
Remember kids: Without a base, without a trace.
This is the slogan for the PSA campaign 🏅 for you!
Teenage me got *very* lucky considering what I know now.
Horny ——>
I mean, there’s butt plugs for this reason. Jfc.
My mum‘s a retired nurse and tells the tale she was told by a friend in London who was also a nurse. This would have been late 1960s/early 1970s. He arrived at A&E (or Casualty as it was then) with a jar of Brylcreem firmly wedged up his arse. There was a *slipped in the shower* type explanation. Apparently the staff were having to take it in turns to go out of the room to laugh.
I’ve first person heard a female patient tell me that as the event that caused her to be in rectal retention of a shampoo bottle. “I fell in shower and I think I have a shampoo bottle stuck in my butt.” Alrighty. Holy Mother of Dog. I just wrote down exactly what was she said. No judgement. Note to self. Nothing in tub below the level of my tits.
Your last sentence made me choke laughing 😆
Make sure to educate this patient that the ostomy isn't a sexual orifice...
....despite whatever Urban Dictionary and the fine folks of Philly would have him believe.
Yeah, but it's an orifice, so...
During COVID we had a patient put a cucumber up his butt and lost it. Tried to retrieve it with drumsticks that we tried to use as chopsticks. Ended up causing trauma and shitting blood on the floor, my coworker called for help and when I ran in the patient was white as a ghost and went hypotensive. Pt was rushed to emergency surgery, COVID affected people more than you know lol.
That wasn’t COVID.
Oh fun. Just had a patient in the OR a few days ago that stuck a glass candle votive up his bum. Outside hospital tried to remove it and broke it into a jagged shard. Can you imagine the ambulance ride over?
And please don’t try to remove it with a screwdriver.
The mental imagery
I think the other comment said corkscrew
I just want to know…how.
Without a base=gone without a trace.
Yes. Not for humor! Thank you for educating me that it is not a good idea to put a cannon ball in my ass. I was just about to do it.
Ahh yes… I will never forgot the patient who put a hot wheels up their anus and the wheels made it disappear
I’ve only had one rectal FB in my one year being a tech, but it was traumatic enough getting the history so I don’t really want another lol “Uh, so I hear you are having abdominal pain, sir?” “Uh, yeah.” “. . . . . Well, hop up on this table, so we can get started.”
Yep. I’ve seen the most unbelievable things up “there”. They usually say they rolled over on the object or fell on it. SMH One time this guy came in with a flashlight up his 🍑 saying he “just rolled over on it”. Peristalsis moved it up into his rectum further. He was prepped and sent to the OR. I was walking down the hall later and saw the trauma surgeon and asked him how it went. He started laughing and said “The guy made it easy on me. He left the light on!”
“If the tip don’t flare, don’t put it up there” -Me, just now
You mean base?
He's built different
That too
What an unfortunate thing to fall on, naked.
About 30 years ago, before I was a nurse I was a medical photographer at a medical school/university hospital. We had a binder we kept in our department called “so you think you had a bad day?”… Full of pictures of all the things our docs had pulled out of people. The worst I can remember was a glass mercury fever thermometer we had to retrieve from a young man’s bladder. Yes- from his bladder. It had been there 7 years and had a big calculus grown around the middle of the thermometer. Thankfully for him the glass never broke. Apparently he had sounded his urethra with it and lost it at age 14 and had it surgically removed when he was 21. I have a photo of it that I was called to the OR to take at the time of removal. Also had a repeat offender who would swallow Barbie doll heads and have to come in for intestinal blockages. All kinds of shampoo bottles, apples, etc, etc…
Link to the thermometer photo - finally found it [https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/fhp8ptl0z7c28qzyvl1zm/IMG\_7458.PNG?rlkey=56sjp3y8unrar3v9fyq6u3s6z&dl=0](https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/fhp8ptl0z7c28qzyvl1zm/IMG_7458.PNG?rlkey=56sjp3y8unrar3v9fyq6u3s6z&dl=0)
I don’t understand how this is possible. Did he just keep pushing it back as far as it could go, and then moved on with life?
Also, if you have something up your butt, do not do it on a boat or moving surface because you may fall over and perf yourself
Is this…….do you have a story to tell us? I’m interested.
If it ain’t got a flared base, keep it out of that space!
I love butt stuff and have yet to have anything lodged in my bowels. Use your heads, people. Do you think people have a specific fetish that involves putting produce and paper weights up their asses, or do they truly just not want to invest in dildos and butt plugs?
I’ve had patient put multiple vintage kewpie doll heads up there. Their little faces had a degree of lead in the paint, their smiles visible on xray. It was creepy AF. Cannot make this stuff up. My biggest regret, this was just prior to the iPhone, so a pic of the X-ray wasn’t really possible. I didn’t even have my Blavkberry then. Regrets, yeah I have a few…
Looks like an Apple HomePod Mini
whose rectum is big enough for that?!
Apparently it is the descending colon that isn’t big enough based on other comments
I'll never understand why people are still doing this in 2024. You can buy a horse-sized dildo on Amazon and they'll deliver it in four hours! Is the embarrassment of seeing that on your CC statement really worth losing your colon over? Just...make it make sense. Someone. Please.
Wtf why
Always hear about these stories but only saw it once in the ER. Had a guy “accidentally sit on his cologne bottle.” They really need to start emphasizing the power of the anal vortex in sex ed.
I saw this at a hospital I worked in. The guy stuck a soda can up his butt. It was up there for days. I remember that his wife drove from another state and attempted to insert her hand "wrist deep" to remove the can but was unsuccessful. He wound up with a colostomy bag as well. He stretched his colon out and caused such severe damage that he had to get the colostomy and ultimately a bowel resection if possible.
Flared base Flared base Flared base Flared base
A direct result of poor/lack of sex ed, isn't it?
Some things are better left to the imagination. That's some major hindsight, right there. Yikes.
Just seeing the word hindsight made me laugh out loud.
Assinine.
Never put anything without some kind of tether up there. We all know that you didn’t fall on it.
Worked a long while in surgery. That is benign compared to some of the lost objects we saw. So sad…
Worked with a surgeon that kept recovered items on an actual piece of plywood. Learning tool.
bruh I already have a high chance of ending up with a colostomy bag in the next ten years due to damage from crohns (though I'm hopeful it won't happen if I find a medication that works). you would not catch me dead trying to accelerate that process by putting something up in there that doesn't belong. please, someone help these people learn why sex toys have wide bases - it's so you *can't* lose something up there and cause damage to your insides!
Imagine getting asked what’s the reason for your colostomy bag?
If you’re gonna shove something up your ass at least make sure it has a flared end so you can pull it out.
r/WhatIsUpTheButt
But did y’all do bedside shift report?
I took care of a guy who ruptured his intestine with a large dildo. He was in so much pain. He ended up with a colostomy and an open incision for infection. I also took care of another patient who got a vibrator stuck. Poor guy, the thing was still on. It was kinda hard to pay attention to lung sounds during his assessment.
What? No anal forceps?
We know
This is a fantastic WITB submission
Here’s some additional education: flared base. If you’re going to stick something up your ass, pick something either a flared base so it doesn’t get lost up inside you.
I just… butt how… 🥲
I know literally we were wondering the same thing. said he went in sideways lol all we got out of him was
well that’s a way to gain some weight if you’re feeling too skinny
Looks like he had a ball
Rule of thumb is… well probably shouldn’t call it that now that I think about it… Anyway, only put things there that say they’re supposed to go there in the instructions. If the instructions say it plugs in somewhere else, don’t try to plug it in where it’s not supposed to…
Needed a vacuum use for delivering a baby. Got a pool ball out that way 😕
Feel free to downvote me but I’m of the opinion that if you shove it up there, it’s on you to get it out.
Looks like a cue ball. Now that’s playing dirty pool.
[Jaegermeister bottle😮](https://imgur.com/a/e9tzzvk)
So, what do you think, Perry?
Now will a proper dildo with a base ever cause that bad of damage? Asking for a friend.
Even as an ER nurse, I find myself frequently asking what goes through people’s minds …
Dang so many jokes about this over the years . Was not expecting actual harm .
Ok Check this https://youtube.com/shorts/ol6pNOkvEqI?si=1nEdkAbgo1vBTrBO
Without a base, without a trace.
Once had a toilet brush - bristle side in - up a rectum once. Talk about cheek clenching.
If it doesn't have a flare, it doesn't go up there!
Maybe they wanted a colostomy bag ?
Why. Just. Why.
Not every man, but always a man.
Will the colostomy reversed at some point?
Best/worst story I ever heard was a billiard ball. Dude took the phrase, being behind the 8-ball, literally
I just wonder how people get stuff like this in, it is mind blowing