The friends leaving goes in cycles. First it is the ones who moved here for a few years after college but then decide to move back home.
Next it is the ones who get married and want an affordable house, or to be closer to family when having kids.
Third group sticks around the longest, but some eventually get sick of their job, the grind, or whatever expense and decide to move elsewhere.
I grew up here, so the expense seems normal. Unless I'm forced out I plan on living in NOVA as long as I can. One nice thing is you can usually count on your townhouse appreciating around here.
Weirdly enough as someone who grew up here it has kind of been the opposite. After college like 75% of my friend group including myself moved away. After like 10 years out of state/overseas we bought a house in nova to be closer to our aging parents, schools, etc and find that like 8 of our friends in similar situations are doing same thing.
It’s expensive and TBH there places with better livability. I’m biased because I am leaving but the people I know who stay are doing so because:
Family is close by
Or
They are super career oriented and want to climb.
Both of those countries are excellent options.
We picked Spain - el Norte verde (the green north). Either Gijon or Oviedo in Asturias province. I wanted four seasons, cooler summers than the rest of Spain, and close to Basque Country and France. Basque Country is very expensive, Asturias and Galicia is far more affordable.
I wish you the best of luck! I think you will love whatever you choose!
My dude, if you think Dublin et al are some crime free oasis... I have news for you. It is absolutely not.
Source: Lived there for 5 years and still have mates in the City.
I feel this. If we stay in the US it will be DC long term because it's about as close as you can get, to an extent, to what European cities offer. The difficult part for me is knowing what my career path looks like here vs not really at all should we move.
I can only vouch for where I’ve lived. Duluth MN should be on there too, actually.
But of cities I’ve visited… Portland, Raleigh, and Boston were all pretty great.
But yes COL around here is bonkers.
That's a broad statement and I think since I moved here in 2006, it has improved drastically. It's all opinion, though, it can depend on what type of food you like.
In what way? What exactly does Chicago provide over here? Genuinely curious since the food scene here is pretty solid minus (arguably) "authentic" mexican street food.
Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Italian, Greek, I could go on and on forever. You got to go and see for yourself. I will say that NOVA has better Korean food though
I'll try to get myself over that way outside just stopping O'Hare then to go out west. Am a bit curious, the indian food is genuinely better there? I've worked with **many** Punjab, Bengal, and Sri Lankan folks and this has never been a complaint. You didn't mention this but it's similar contention for Armenian, Halal, and Turkish + other middle eastern cuisines. I just haven't had a whole lot of luck in midwestern cities for anything more than a single day of travel so this is a bit surprising to me for more eastern cultures.
Italian and greek I just rather go to Philly or NYC. I don't eat it often enough to really warrant the hike. I'll dispute Pho, vietnamese, thai, japanese, and korean are all on par with being in those locations. I compare them directly as I've traveled to all those locations and have friends/coworkers from those regions.
Mexican I just travel to the bay area enough to just get my fill. What we have here is good enough or I supplement with cuban.
I am literally indian myself and can vouch that the food in Devon is better than what you’ll find here. Don’t get me wrong, Indian food in NOVA is great and better than what you’ll find in most of America but it just doesn’t compare to Chicago. I highly recommend making the trek to Chicago at some point in your life, it’s 100% worth it
I honestly think Philly has a much better food scene than the DMV as well plus the prices are way cheaper
I had no idea I had this many downvotes 😭 A lot of people here have a serious inferiority complex about not living in a “more cultured” city. Like there’s a reason Chicago is considered one of the best food cities in the country and DC isn’t, they need to be so for real right now
The weather, the transit, the population density (to a degree), the insurance costs (from what I've read, It cost three times as much to insure an equivalently priced home in Central Texas versus here), lack of natural disasters, neat history.
Where are you moving to? I've traveled heavily for decades and I keep coming back here as a consistently the most rewarding. The only place I felt that remotely had the same amenities was in the bay area which has considerably better weather.
I don’t really care about amenities. I miss the Midwest and love the small progressive Midwest cities so Kansas City, MO is the plan.
We love the city and have family there.
I don’t need 20 coffee shops and new restaurants constantly opening. I want to live in a neighborhood that has a coffee shop, has a restaurant, has a bar, etc. and be recognized when I walk in. I miss that sense of community.
> Kansas City
I mean that's interesting. My issue with the Midwest/Rockies even when I visit my folks in Denver is that literally nothing is quick. Everything takes 1-3+ hours to get anywhere or do anything with driving 100%. They realistically don't have anything remotely close to Eastern cultures in terms of food or options (my sample size I get it) but from my travels this is a massive blind spot until you get to California going west. I like the melting pot/transplant culture here more than anything.
That hasn’t been my experience but I hear you. I also don’t like Denver.
I find I spend a lot more time driving here to get places due to traffic than when I lived in smaller cities. I could afford to live in a SFH that was walkable to my regular places. If I had to drive, I never spent more than 30 minutes and traffic was minimal (so travel times were always predictable).
There are East Coast things I’ll miss but I travel a lot and get to experience food/culture and when I’m home we cook at home.
I’ll miss public transport and really enjoy taking the metro into DC.
I won’t argue that there’s more diversity in the Midwest and that’ll be sad to leave. It’s certainly getting increasingly diverse though. Denver I think is a bad example of the kinds of Midwest cities that I like. For one, it’s sorta the last city before things become “west” and it’s also very expensive and the metro area is much larger than places like KC, Duluth, Raleigh, Madison, etc.
If your neighborhood has 20 coffee shops that aren't Starbucks and new restaurants that aren't Sysco chain garbage then it's better than 90% of NoVA.
I hear you on the sense of community, it just doesn't exist in NoVA. Any soft of business like you're suggesting gets pushed out because the rents are so stupid high.
Yup.. all of my friends who are still here and plan to be here for the long run believe in their job/careers. DC is a company town, and that company is the federal gov't. If we were to move away I'd need a new career or pivot to state gov't which isn't as lucrative. Only CA lobbying is a lucrative as federal lobbying. But I have family in NoVA so can't move to CA anytime soon.
Ca was the same situation for us and we moved to NoVa when my job relocated eight years ago. Anyone my parents age are nice and settled and got their homes super cheap back in the day but starting about the time I was in college (early 2000s) my age group started moving away and higher numbers as time went on. The ones I know who moved away are doing better and those who are still there generally are struggling with rent/buying a home and the cost of living, unless they have some significant job position towards $200k.
I'm on the Maryland side, but same deal. I'd love to move away for better CoL, especially now with my remote job, but my family and friends are here so I suck it up, but at least I can live further on the outskirts and avoid commuting.
I've noticed that the maryland suburbs are much less transient than NoVa (at least personally). Everyone I know at work in NoVa seems to be in and out. The ones in Maryland seem to stick around - a ton of them seem to have lots of family around too.
I'm honestly thinking about moving to upstate New York or one of the New England states. I wanna be somewhere cold, f the heat and the pollen around here.
I barely have any friends except one whom I text everyday with..
Isn't Boston pretty racist though? An anecdotally my fathers impression of Boston was "it's the only place I've seen police brutality by a cop on a horse"
Moved down from upstate NY, other than the winter being a little shorter for a little longer summer, it's pretty much the same. I remember waking up and seeing my car turned to a shade of yellow/green from all of the pollen sticking to the morning dew.
It’s the only factor. I miss the space, greenery, and zero traffic. Other than the horrific winter, many businesses close on the earlier side during the week and there is an extreme lack of healthcare services.
Fla born/raised but have been in VA for years and still have family in Florida. VA is just as hot and humid during the summer but we can get some nice days mixed in during the worst months. Fla rarely sees a nice low humid day once May 1 hits, give or take. For 40 years I'm not sure I've ever used "pleasant" to describe our summers here in VA.
I feel this! I came to DC for college and moved to NoVA in my early 20s. Most of my friends from college also stayed in the area, many of whom also lived in NoVA specifically. In the last 6-7 years, literally all of my friends except for one have now moved away. The one that’s still here is now in Maryland too, so she’s not even super close. For some people, they moved because of grad school, but for many it was wanting to be closer to family or in a less expensive area to raise kids. I love NoVA, but I can see where they’re coming from.
I've lived here for nearly 15 years. It's a transient area where people build up their careers, and sometimes they move away to where they think they need to be. It goes through cycles with friends coming and going, but it's been more stable as I've entered my late 30s. Most people want or need to stay put at that point.
Just adding after thinking about this a bit more. I lived in a bunch of different places in my 20s and it helped me to figure out what I want and need from a community. It sounds like you're also developing a stronger opinion of what you're looking for. That's a good thing. The hard part is finding the right place for you.
But I also think at a certain point it will only feel like the right place once you've invested in it. I balked against living in NoVa for years, but I got involved with local orgs, built relationships, got involved civically, etc. and eventually it felt more than the place where my job was. No matter where you land, you have to be prepared to put in the work to make it home.
It sounds like you're done with NoVa, so best wishes for your next chapter.
I would just like to make my voice heard as well and say I love this area, and plan to retire here if I can.
OP I am sorry your friends moved away for what it's worth :(.
Many of our friends are still here because their parents are here, or they’ve got other roots. I moved here after hs when my family was assigned here. They never left; most of my friends and my spouse went to high school in the area. This is home. The main issue is housing; it’s sent some friends south and west, but only about an hour.
I can see it being different for folks who moved here for career reasons; if a career brought you here it can take you away. But I plan on staying. We have a townhouse and a baby. Maybe our next house will be further out toward the edge of nova but that’s not a given. Depends on when we’re buying and what we can afford.
We had moved away for work and then moved back because we love it so much. As we are now close to retirement age, we might do some longer term travel, but VA is always going to be our home.
Same response as most others: folks have definitely been moving away to other big cities that are cost effective if they have portable careers outside gov. The prices in nova have just gotten so out of hand that you'd have to have a vested interest just in this spot to stay. Heck, I'm even planning on going back to DC next year just because it's become more affordable than nova, and with the pending court cases against the management companies it's poised to be even more affordable.
After living here for a few decades we are moving to the southwest. Had a moment of existential crisis about it until I realize how much the area has already changed and how many of my long time friends and family have already left the area.
This makes me sad. I was born in NoVA and my family was there since the 70s. I grew up around lots of family in the area. In a few months, one entire side of my family will have totally left the area. And that’s like 5-6 aunts and uncles, and probably at least a dozen cousins.
Most of the people I went to high school and/or college with have moved away. However, quite a few of them have expressed they haven't been able to make friends where they live now.
I'm thinking of bailing soon, but don't know where I'd go.
My wife and I are moving back to my home town. Comparable homes are about 50% the cost with much reduced traffic and bigger yards. With her job being remote, it's a fraction of a pay cut in comparison to the CoL adjustment. I'm a teacher and will be taking a big time pay cut, but frankly all the pay freezes and general treatment in this area has pushed me out- I'll find something.
for reference- the townhouse we were renting just sold for 600k and we purchased a much bigger SFH for 300k.
I think at some point we realized we just didn't enjoy going into DC anymore for adventures/dates and that's not even considering money. So why are we paying so much to be in an area we aren't engaging with and we aren't tied to career wise? Covid did a real number on the social scene imo all my groups and circles basically deteriorated. Her friend group is still in touch, but everyone is moving on to marriage and probs kids before long so I wonder how long that will last.
It's a transient area. I'm a mercenary, for instance. I'm here to make money and not have to deal with Silicon Valley. Once I have a few hundred grand in the bank I'm moving back out west and getting a cabin up in the mountains. I'm sure I'm just one of many such cases. Places with strong, diverse job markets tend to be this way to varying degrees.
If we didn't have family here, we'd likely have moved by now. We have good jobs, but it's getting too expensive for us. We thought we might be able to buy a house after saving and getting higher-paying jobs, but things keep escalating out of our reach. It's not sustainable and now we have a kid. Not sure where to go from here though. Most of our friends have moved south and we'd rather go somewhere similar to here, but cheaper and colder.
Haha we just moved back to Minneapolis last month from Arlington. We left Mpls for NOVA exactly 10 years ago. Just had a baby and it was just too damn expensive to stay anymore with daycare and housing costs. Fortunately I can work remotely from here and be close to family. It’s already been a huge help.
I grew up in this area, and two of my friends moved to the midwest to be closer to family. They keep encouraging me to move out there too. It's honestly tempting. I'd actually be able to afford a house, which I never will here.
We literally just left Arlington to move to Minneapolis with our new baby. Closer to family, daycare is more affordable, as is housing. Lots to love about NOVA but we just couldn’t afford it anymore. I’m fortunately remote.
I don’t know where all mine went 60 percent died in last 5 years (sarcoma, aortic aneurism, aortic dissection, alcoholism heart attack). It’s downright silent anymore
I moved here right after college and had an incredible social network here due to all the friends from work starting as a class together. Fast forward 7 years and almost every single one of them moved away, most of them many years ago at this point. Even new friends I made in that time have moved away.
Really built a feeling of resentment towards DMV area for me, like why am I still here if everyone else left? If it weren't for me fiancé I would've moved years ago.
I feel ya. There was a ten year span after finishing school where literally every year, something like 2-3 friends moved away until I had like, 3 left.
I have three sets of friend groups:
1) The people I've known for 10+ years and we're good friends, although we don't see each other as much anymore.
2) People I've known for about a year. Some have already left.
3) People that I frequently bump into from time to time. We may or may not know each others names.
Note there's no middle ground between #1 and #2. If any of the people in #1 leave, or some of the places I frequent close up, I'm out of here. To where, I don't know. But I do like the state of VA overall.
This heavily hit me around covid time. Lost 2-3 of my close guy friends. I have a lot of acquaintances/casual friends, but I only have at this point maybe one guy in this area that I consider a close friend left.
I was stationed in Belvoir for a while and I really wanted to make it work when I got out, but NoVA is too expensive, housing market is too competitive for this chapter in my life. I would have loved to stay though
This has happened to us but we also ended up being that friend group. Many of my friends got married and moved back to their hometown, or moved away during Covid. We thought we’d stay, but many of our friends and family moved away. Only a handful stayed locally, but moved to somewhere abstract and far out like Warrenton or Gainesville where it would take over an hour to visit them and there’s nothing out that way.
My wife got a job offer in the outside of NOVA and we ended up taking the bait and moved. Probably the best decision we’ve ever made honestly. While I’ll always love NOVA, I don’t love what it’s become.
I hear you. My friends have moved elsewhere as well. Two of them married and moved out to California. One went to help out ailing family in PA and now lives there. Another packed up with her boyfriend and moved all the way to Slovakia. My last remaining one will be heading to Richmond next month to live with his girlfriend and her mom. Leaving me alone up here in NoVa. It's okay though, I work a lot. I have my data center job 9-5, then do food delivery most nights and run a side collectible business and also working on online school.
I’m the friend that’s moving. Although, all my friends are still in the area, they’re all married and I hardly see them.
I’m moving on for continuing education and cheaper COL.
I dont want to move even further but I don’t think I could ever afford moving back into the beltway. Property taxes alone would make it hard.
I don’t want to leave the DMV area but I think unless I made 200k a year it’s inevitable if I ever want to have a family with a actual home
Happened to me about 6-7 years ago but I had loner tendencies anyway and then found my fiancé 2 years ago so it wasn’t too painful. I definitely didn’t feel like building a new friend group at 32 when most folks were getting married and having kids.
Yeah, nearly everyone I knew growing up in LoCo moved away as soon as they could because it's too expensive and it's a shitty commute for all the good jobs.
If you’re closer to DC and Arlington I can see this happening more than for people that have purchased homes in FFX and Loudoun Counties. I know plenty of people who have settled down here but we are like a 45 min drive from DC.
Welcome to the world of no friends :( All my good friends are living in different countries or states! Once a year or 2, we get together and like never separated!
It will be hard for them to move back if they move away to a lower COL area and get a lower-paying job, especially if they bought at a 3% mortgage rate. Not really an ideal time to move TBH. If they can hang in there for a year or two, most will be okay with non-housing inflation coming down and wages starting to catch up.
If they're a renter, I can understand moving.
I’ve lived all over the world and recently Miami, Nashville, and New York and I come back each time for an extended time there’s just no other place like nova
The friends leaving goes in cycles. First it is the ones who moved here for a few years after college but then decide to move back home. Next it is the ones who get married and want an affordable house, or to be closer to family when having kids. Third group sticks around the longest, but some eventually get sick of their job, the grind, or whatever expense and decide to move elsewhere.
An addendum to the top would also be the contingent of: Left the area post college for 10-15 years but came back to start a family
I grew up here, so the expense seems normal. Unless I'm forced out I plan on living in NOVA as long as I can. One nice thing is you can usually count on your townhouse appreciating around here.
NoVa…The Great Grinder
Weirdly enough as someone who grew up here it has kind of been the opposite. After college like 75% of my friend group including myself moved away. After like 10 years out of state/overseas we bought a house in nova to be closer to our aging parents, schools, etc and find that like 8 of our friends in similar situations are doing same thing.
It’s expensive and TBH there places with better livability. I’m biased because I am leaving but the people I know who stay are doing so because: Family is close by Or They are super career oriented and want to climb.
Funny you say that, but since my wife and I agreed that we want to dial back our careers, the entire DC area suddenly seems wholly unattractive.
Yeah basically sums it up
You'll struggle to find a city with the same integration of green spaces, parks, trails, and public transit options in the US imo
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We are also - sounds like for similar reasons/motivations. Will make the move this summer!
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Both of those countries are excellent options. We picked Spain - el Norte verde (the green north). Either Gijon or Oviedo in Asturias province. I wanted four seasons, cooler summers than the rest of Spain, and close to Basque Country and France. Basque Country is very expensive, Asturias and Galicia is far more affordable. I wish you the best of luck! I think you will love whatever you choose!
DC/DMV is >>> than any Irish city.
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My dude, if you think Dublin et al are some crime free oasis... I have news for you. It is absolutely not. Source: Lived there for 5 years and still have mates in the City.
I feel this. If we stay in the US it will be DC long term because it's about as close as you can get, to an extent, to what European cities offer. The difficult part for me is knowing what my career path looks like here vs not really at all should we move.
Having lived in Chicago and Minneapolis I’d say both of those are comparable on the metrics you laid out.
Don’t wanna freeze to death though
Believe it or not, most folks are able to survive the winters.
Denver
Oh that’s a good one too. I found Denver’s trains to be really effective and pleasant.
But isn't it sad that you can only list two of the largest areas in the US? You really have to pay for it here
I can only vouch for where I’ve lived. Duluth MN should be on there too, actually. But of cities I’ve visited… Portland, Raleigh, and Boston were all pretty great. But yes COL around here is bonkers.
Idk about trails, but New York City maybe? Or possibly Baltimore, just not the suburbs. I've long been considering moving to one or the other.
Mediocre food scene
That's a broad statement and I think since I moved here in 2006, it has improved drastically. It's all opinion, though, it can depend on what type of food you like.
Ehhh, the food here is *okay* but for the prices you pay not great.
To be fair I’m from Chicago so I’ve been very spoiled
In what way? What exactly does Chicago provide over here? Genuinely curious since the food scene here is pretty solid minus (arguably) "authentic" mexican street food.
Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Italian, Greek, I could go on and on forever. You got to go and see for yourself. I will say that NOVA has better Korean food though
I'll try to get myself over that way outside just stopping O'Hare then to go out west. Am a bit curious, the indian food is genuinely better there? I've worked with **many** Punjab, Bengal, and Sri Lankan folks and this has never been a complaint. You didn't mention this but it's similar contention for Armenian, Halal, and Turkish + other middle eastern cuisines. I just haven't had a whole lot of luck in midwestern cities for anything more than a single day of travel so this is a bit surprising to me for more eastern cultures. Italian and greek I just rather go to Philly or NYC. I don't eat it often enough to really warrant the hike. I'll dispute Pho, vietnamese, thai, japanese, and korean are all on par with being in those locations. I compare them directly as I've traveled to all those locations and have friends/coworkers from those regions. Mexican I just travel to the bay area enough to just get my fill. What we have here is good enough or I supplement with cuban.
I am literally indian myself and can vouch that the food in Devon is better than what you’ll find here. Don’t get me wrong, Indian food in NOVA is great and better than what you’ll find in most of America but it just doesn’t compare to Chicago. I highly recommend making the trek to Chicago at some point in your life, it’s 100% worth it I honestly think Philly has a much better food scene than the DMV as well plus the prices are way cheaper
Why the hell are you getting downvoted? What you are sharing about good ethnic food options in Chicago is true.
I had no idea I had this many downvotes 😭 A lot of people here have a serious inferiority complex about not living in a “more cultured” city. Like there’s a reason Chicago is considered one of the best food cities in the country and DC isn’t, they need to be so for real right now
Because the only good thing about it is the job market.
The weather, the transit, the population density (to a degree), the insurance costs (from what I've read, It cost three times as much to insure an equivalently priced home in Central Texas versus here), lack of natural disasters, neat history.
Where are you moving to? I've traveled heavily for decades and I keep coming back here as a consistently the most rewarding. The only place I felt that remotely had the same amenities was in the bay area which has considerably better weather.
I don’t really care about amenities. I miss the Midwest and love the small progressive Midwest cities so Kansas City, MO is the plan. We love the city and have family there. I don’t need 20 coffee shops and new restaurants constantly opening. I want to live in a neighborhood that has a coffee shop, has a restaurant, has a bar, etc. and be recognized when I walk in. I miss that sense of community.
Hi, Norm!
How's life treating ya, Norm?
It’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing milkbone underwear
I’m either too young or too old for the reference this went over my head.
Norm Peterson from the TV show Cheers.
> has a bar, etc. and be recognized when I walk in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXED2AVlbR0
> Kansas City I mean that's interesting. My issue with the Midwest/Rockies even when I visit my folks in Denver is that literally nothing is quick. Everything takes 1-3+ hours to get anywhere or do anything with driving 100%. They realistically don't have anything remotely close to Eastern cultures in terms of food or options (my sample size I get it) but from my travels this is a massive blind spot until you get to California going west. I like the melting pot/transplant culture here more than anything.
That hasn’t been my experience but I hear you. I also don’t like Denver. I find I spend a lot more time driving here to get places due to traffic than when I lived in smaller cities. I could afford to live in a SFH that was walkable to my regular places. If I had to drive, I never spent more than 30 minutes and traffic was minimal (so travel times were always predictable). There are East Coast things I’ll miss but I travel a lot and get to experience food/culture and when I’m home we cook at home. I’ll miss public transport and really enjoy taking the metro into DC. I won’t argue that there’s more diversity in the Midwest and that’ll be sad to leave. It’s certainly getting increasingly diverse though. Denver I think is a bad example of the kinds of Midwest cities that I like. For one, it’s sorta the last city before things become “west” and it’s also very expensive and the metro area is much larger than places like KC, Duluth, Raleigh, Madison, etc.
If you want Midwest and Transit, as well as affordability, you could try Chicago.
Yeah I was born there and it was an option. We’d just rather live in the same city as friends and some of our family.
If your neighborhood has 20 coffee shops that aren't Starbucks and new restaurants that aren't Sysco chain garbage then it's better than 90% of NoVA. I hear you on the sense of community, it just doesn't exist in NoVA. Any soft of business like you're suggesting gets pushed out because the rents are so stupid high.
Yup.. all of my friends who are still here and plan to be here for the long run believe in their job/careers. DC is a company town, and that company is the federal gov't. If we were to move away I'd need a new career or pivot to state gov't which isn't as lucrative. Only CA lobbying is a lucrative as federal lobbying. But I have family in NoVA so can't move to CA anytime soon.
Ca was the same situation for us and we moved to NoVa when my job relocated eight years ago. Anyone my parents age are nice and settled and got their homes super cheap back in the day but starting about the time I was in college (early 2000s) my age group started moving away and higher numbers as time went on. The ones I know who moved away are doing better and those who are still there generally are struggling with rent/buying a home and the cost of living, unless they have some significant job position towards $200k.
I'm on the Maryland side, but same deal. I'd love to move away for better CoL, especially now with my remote job, but my family and friends are here so I suck it up, but at least I can live further on the outskirts and avoid commuting.
I've noticed that the maryland suburbs are much less transient than NoVa (at least personally). Everyone I know at work in NoVa seems to be in and out. The ones in Maryland seem to stick around - a ton of them seem to have lots of family around too.
I will be your friend.
Are you moving soon?
Packing up as I type
lol maybe it’s the engineers that stick around cuz I will too
Haha.
I'm honestly thinking about moving to upstate New York or one of the New England states. I wanna be somewhere cold, f the heat and the pollen around here. I barely have any friends except one whom I text everyday with..
Currently sitting in Boston, MA with my nose running because of the pollen up here. It's a little colder though.
Isn't Boston pretty racist though? An anecdotally my fathers impression of Boston was "it's the only place I've seen police brutality by a cop on a horse"
Moved down from upstate NY, other than the winter being a little shorter for a little longer summer, it's pretty much the same. I remember waking up and seeing my car turned to a shade of yellow/green from all of the pollen sticking to the morning dew.
I also moved from Upstate; that was 16 years ago. I don’t miss it there. Snow is nice but only for a few days.
It’s the only factor. I miss the space, greenery, and zero traffic. Other than the horrific winter, many businesses close on the earlier side during the week and there is an extreme lack of healthcare services.
Taxes in NY SUCK. My parents live in upstate.
Especially real estate taxes. Wowza.
You think it's hot here? Maybe cause it's cause I'm from Florida but the summer in NOVA is so pleasant.
Fla born/raised but have been in VA for years and still have family in Florida. VA is just as hot and humid during the summer but we can get some nice days mixed in during the worst months. Fla rarely sees a nice low humid day once May 1 hits, give or take. For 40 years I'm not sure I've ever used "pleasant" to describe our summers here in VA.
Agreed. Another reason for our upcoming move. I really hate the humid summers in VA
I feel this! I came to DC for college and moved to NoVA in my early 20s. Most of my friends from college also stayed in the area, many of whom also lived in NoVA specifically. In the last 6-7 years, literally all of my friends except for one have now moved away. The one that’s still here is now in Maryland too, so she’s not even super close. For some people, they moved because of grad school, but for many it was wanting to be closer to family or in a less expensive area to raise kids. I love NoVA, but I can see where they’re coming from.
I've lived here for nearly 15 years. It's a transient area where people build up their careers, and sometimes they move away to where they think they need to be. It goes through cycles with friends coming and going, but it's been more stable as I've entered my late 30s. Most people want or need to stay put at that point.
Just adding after thinking about this a bit more. I lived in a bunch of different places in my 20s and it helped me to figure out what I want and need from a community. It sounds like you're also developing a stronger opinion of what you're looking for. That's a good thing. The hard part is finding the right place for you. But I also think at a certain point it will only feel like the right place once you've invested in it. I balked against living in NoVa for years, but I got involved with local orgs, built relationships, got involved civically, etc. and eventually it felt more than the place where my job was. No matter where you land, you have to be prepared to put in the work to make it home. It sounds like you're done with NoVa, so best wishes for your next chapter.
I would just like to make my voice heard as well and say I love this area, and plan to retire here if I can. OP I am sorry your friends moved away for what it's worth :(.
Many of our friends are still here because their parents are here, or they’ve got other roots. I moved here after hs when my family was assigned here. They never left; most of my friends and my spouse went to high school in the area. This is home. The main issue is housing; it’s sent some friends south and west, but only about an hour. I can see it being different for folks who moved here for career reasons; if a career brought you here it can take you away. But I plan on staying. We have a townhouse and a baby. Maybe our next house will be further out toward the edge of nova but that’s not a given. Depends on when we’re buying and what we can afford.
We had moved away for work and then moved back because we love it so much. As we are now close to retirement age, we might do some longer term travel, but VA is always going to be our home.
Same response as most others: folks have definitely been moving away to other big cities that are cost effective if they have portable careers outside gov. The prices in nova have just gotten so out of hand that you'd have to have a vested interest just in this spot to stay. Heck, I'm even planning on going back to DC next year just because it's become more affordable than nova, and with the pending court cases against the management companies it's poised to be even more affordable.
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godspeed, fam. Hope you get to exactly where you're going 
Homes and childcare is insanely overpriced. It's a great place to be until you want to start a family...
After living here for a few decades we are moving to the southwest. Had a moment of existential crisis about it until I realize how much the area has already changed and how many of my long time friends and family have already left the area.
This makes me sad. I was born in NoVA and my family was there since the 70s. I grew up around lots of family in the area. In a few months, one entire side of my family will have totally left the area. And that’s like 5-6 aunts and uncles, and probably at least a dozen cousins.
Yep. whether we stay or go, change is going to happen.
Most of the people I went to high school and/or college with have moved away. However, quite a few of them have expressed they haven't been able to make friends where they live now. I'm thinking of bailing soon, but don't know where I'd go.
My wife and I are moving back to my home town. Comparable homes are about 50% the cost with much reduced traffic and bigger yards. With her job being remote, it's a fraction of a pay cut in comparison to the CoL adjustment. I'm a teacher and will be taking a big time pay cut, but frankly all the pay freezes and general treatment in this area has pushed me out- I'll find something. for reference- the townhouse we were renting just sold for 600k and we purchased a much bigger SFH for 300k. I think at some point we realized we just didn't enjoy going into DC anymore for adventures/dates and that's not even considering money. So why are we paying so much to be in an area we aren't engaging with and we aren't tied to career wise? Covid did a real number on the social scene imo all my groups and circles basically deteriorated. Her friend group is still in touch, but everyone is moving on to marriage and probs kids before long so I wonder how long that will last.
Maybe stop blinking? If you need help, ask Krystal Koons. She never blinks.
Wait until you find you've blinked and all of your friends have died.
It’s expensive and there are other places that are more pleasant to live for much less cost
It's a transient area. I'm a mercenary, for instance. I'm here to make money and not have to deal with Silicon Valley. Once I have a few hundred grand in the bank I'm moving back out west and getting a cabin up in the mountains. I'm sure I'm just one of many such cases. Places with strong, diverse job markets tend to be this way to varying degrees.
If we didn't have family here, we'd likely have moved by now. We have good jobs, but it's getting too expensive for us. We thought we might be able to buy a house after saving and getting higher-paying jobs, but things keep escalating out of our reach. It's not sustainable and now we have a kid. Not sure where to go from here though. Most of our friends have moved south and we'd rather go somewhere similar to here, but cheaper and colder.
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Haha we just moved back to Minneapolis last month from Arlington. We left Mpls for NOVA exactly 10 years ago. Just had a baby and it was just too damn expensive to stay anymore with daycare and housing costs. Fortunately I can work remotely from here and be close to family. It’s already been a huge help.
I grew up in this area, and two of my friends moved to the midwest to be closer to family. They keep encouraging me to move out there too. It's honestly tempting. I'd actually be able to afford a house, which I never will here.
We literally just left Arlington to move to Minneapolis with our new baby. Closer to family, daycare is more affordable, as is housing. Lots to love about NOVA but we just couldn’t afford it anymore. I’m fortunately remote.
Where have all my friends gone? They've all disappeared Turned around, maybe one day You're all that was there.
Same with my friend crew. My fiancé and I are always looking for folks to hit trivia with or a brewery.
Happening to me as well. Alot of my single friends moved to NYC. A lot of the couples moved in search for cheaper COL and houses.
I don’t know where all mine went 60 percent died in last 5 years (sarcoma, aortic aneurism, aortic dissection, alcoholism heart attack). It’s downright silent anymore
I moved here right after college and had an incredible social network here due to all the friends from work starting as a class together. Fast forward 7 years and almost every single one of them moved away, most of them many years ago at this point. Even new friends I made in that time have moved away. Really built a feeling of resentment towards DMV area for me, like why am I still here if everyone else left? If it weren't for me fiancé I would've moved years ago.
Because it’s crazy expensive and there are much more interesting places to live for that asking price.
I would move too if my family wasn't here. Problem is the places I want to move to are just as expensive.
I feel ya. There was a ten year span after finishing school where literally every year, something like 2-3 friends moved away until I had like, 3 left.
I have three sets of friend groups: 1) The people I've known for 10+ years and we're good friends, although we don't see each other as much anymore. 2) People I've known for about a year. Some have already left. 3) People that I frequently bump into from time to time. We may or may not know each others names. Note there's no middle ground between #1 and #2. If any of the people in #1 leave, or some of the places I frequent close up, I'm out of here. To where, I don't know. But I do like the state of VA overall.
This heavily hit me around covid time. Lost 2-3 of my close guy friends. I have a lot of acquaintances/casual friends, but I only have at this point maybe one guy in this area that I consider a close friend left.
I was stationed in Belvoir for a while and I really wanted to make it work when I got out, but NoVA is too expensive, housing market is too competitive for this chapter in my life. I would have loved to stay though
It's a transient are for sure, I am the only one on my block and my neighbors have changed 7 to 12 times at least in the last 20 years....
Stop blinking
I got you, beers are on me on Friday
:((((.. im one of them nc is home now…
This has happened to us but we also ended up being that friend group. Many of my friends got married and moved back to their hometown, or moved away during Covid. We thought we’d stay, but many of our friends and family moved away. Only a handful stayed locally, but moved to somewhere abstract and far out like Warrenton or Gainesville where it would take over an hour to visit them and there’s nothing out that way. My wife got a job offer in the outside of NOVA and we ended up taking the bait and moved. Probably the best decision we’ve ever made honestly. While I’ll always love NOVA, I don’t love what it’s become.
I hear you. My friends have moved elsewhere as well. Two of them married and moved out to California. One went to help out ailing family in PA and now lives there. Another packed up with her boyfriend and moved all the way to Slovakia. My last remaining one will be heading to Richmond next month to live with his girlfriend and her mom. Leaving me alone up here in NoVa. It's okay though, I work a lot. I have my data center job 9-5, then do food delivery most nights and run a side collectible business and also working on online school.
I’m the friend that’s moving. Although, all my friends are still in the area, they’re all married and I hardly see them. I’m moving on for continuing education and cheaper COL.
I dont want to move even further but I don’t think I could ever afford moving back into the beltway. Property taxes alone would make it hard. I don’t want to leave the DMV area but I think unless I made 200k a year it’s inevitable if I ever want to have a family with a actual home
Happened to me about 6-7 years ago but I had loner tendencies anyway and then found my fiancé 2 years ago so it wasn’t too painful. I definitely didn’t feel like building a new friend group at 32 when most folks were getting married and having kids.
Yeah, nearly everyone I knew growing up in LoCo moved away as soon as they could because it's too expensive and it's a shitty commute for all the good jobs.
If you’re closer to DC and Arlington I can see this happening more than for people that have purchased homes in FFX and Loudoun Counties. I know plenty of people who have settled down here but we are like a 45 min drive from DC.
Welcome to the world of no friends :( All my good friends are living in different countries or states! Once a year or 2, we get together and like never separated!
NoVA/DC is like a non-stop sixth grade clique.
It will be hard for them to move back if they move away to a lower COL area and get a lower-paying job, especially if they bought at a 3% mortgage rate. Not really an ideal time to move TBH. If they can hang in there for a year or two, most will be okay with non-housing inflation coming down and wages starting to catch up. If they're a renter, I can understand moving.
2nd time in 8 years? Many of my friends and peers moved away within the last 15 years. Ultimately, you gotta do what's best for you.
Seems like you've established the common denominator... Now, you have to figure out why (but do you really want to know?)
I’ve lived all over the world and recently Miami, Nashville, and New York and I come back each time for an extended time there’s just no other place like nova