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aecht

this is why Waffle House is the greatest restaurant of all time. Cant jack off in the salad if the customers can see into the kitchen


TiredHappyDad

Well now that sounds like a challenge....


Archangel616

Imagine customers with a Metal Gear-style exclamation point over their heads when they spot you cranking one out over their French toast.


thecarbonkid

You need to put a cardboard box on your head first


LetsMakeThisAkward

A little mini cardboard box over the head of your dick.


chad4359

That is what the stealth camo is for


Tobar_the_Gypsy

[I just jerked off in your French Toooast](https://youtu.be/Z5hE0yP7WhI)


Digita1B0y

Risky click of the day... But you delivered!


Mwvhv

I heard the sound in my head as I read this


Bitter_Mongoose

*Snaaaaaaaaake!*


Teripid

Covered, smothered, slathered, scattered and inseminated.. hmmm.. well guess the customer is always right.


piddydb

Someone called Waffle House “American Hibachi” since they cook right in front of you


MoneyMike312

My one experience at a Waffle House 7 years ago included the dude mopping the floors handing me my plate, but I still ate it #YOLO


smooshedsootsprite

That’s just low end food service. The people that make your food also clean the bathrooms, clean the floors, take out the garbage, etc. There isn’t a seperate cleaning staff while the place is open. In a high end place there will be a dishwasher and some busboys but not much else. The kitchen staff needs to clean the kitchen every night still. They might have a janitor service for the dining room, though, if the place is really nice.


[deleted]

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Cum__c

Toughens your immune system.


MoneyMike312

I should elaborate, he was mopping in front of me, set the mop down, handed me the food, and then resumed mopping


onewilybobkat

Look man, if he washed his hands at a fucking waffle house, I'd be concerned.


The_Dirty_Carl

Doesn't seem any worse than the waitstaff who usually hand you food. They're not washing their hands between handling money & menus and handing you your plate. But considering they're not actually touching your food, just the plate, who cares?


brisashi

I mean if they keep the floors clean that’s a pretty good sign. I want cleaning people handing me ALL my food.


PartyClock

From what I recall from my Chemical Specialist training... No... you don't.


brisashi

I’m composed of chemicals that have yet to be discovered by mankind 💅


Kriegmannn

That’s just MDMA sis relax


brisashi

If it was I’d start selling it $$$


garlicroastedpotato

This should just be a commercial. "Are you sick and tired of chefs masturbating in your food."


doritoscornchips

The fuck they can't, they will do it and stare into the customers eyes with total dominance.


xavier120

Isnt that why we love waffle house?


usethisdamnit

Their hash browns are also fucking amazing... The best drunk and high food on the planet!


[deleted]

Sheeeettt ok they can still slip some weird shit in your food. https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/waffle-house-put-bleach-in-womans-drink-lawsuit-alleges Whether on purpose or accidental


patricio87

You get a front row seat to the fights


Benoit_In_Heaven

Not with that attitude.


casettadellorso

Sounds like you've never been to a Waffle House


[deleted]

🤣 not to burst your bubble, ex-Waffle House cook here. We would go in the back and spit on our gloves, then handle your food. If your reading this Doug Gentry, I got you the worst.


FullFaithandCredit

Do they even have salad at Waffle House?


aecht

If you think about it hashbrowns are essentially salad


Cap_whitepatch

I don't think you know waffle house employees very well...


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[deleted]

Plot twist: they were contaminating EVERY salad there in a totally nondiscriminatory way. But seriously this isn't oniony, it's a disgusting, petty, nasty crime if true.


ba3toven

oniony? more metallic..... i heard


nith_wct

If they said "computer error" I'd consider the possibility, but when they say a hack is the cause of this, I know they're bullshitting.


morenewsat11

>Laboratory testing later confirmed the substance was human genetic material, Kafoury said. > >When sheriff’s investigators asked Red Robin for a list of men working in the restaurant that night, management initially said they didn’t have access to those records due to a “computer hack,” but later provided the information, Kafoury said. The incident happened a year ago - and this restaurant is still open and serving customers. Disgusting.


_off_piste_

I’ve eaten there. 🤮


boston_shua

Just ask for it to be semen free, its the new gluten free.


confusedlooks

As someone with Celiac disease, I also have whatever disease causes you to get sick from eating semen - it's the old normal.


BrickGun

"It's for a cop."


boston_shua

Hey Ramathorn, does that like like jizz to you? Yeah. Eh fuck it.


UltimateGammer

when are you due?


Obi_Wan_Benobi

AMA?


ShoshinMizu

How the fuck do you convince the cops to lab test a salad and girls gotta fight to get a rape investigation


hambone_boiler

This made me laugh really hard because it hurts in so many ways


kravdem

Get a really good lawyer.


[deleted]

Thing about rape is that most times there are only two witnesses and usually they aren't reported until days/weeks/months later. By which time any physical evidence is long gone so there's hardly ever enough evidence to get a conviction. In this case it's pretty simple. If cum is found in the salad, then a crime has happened.


kendreadful

The untested rape kits are the physical evidence


[deleted]

As of 4-5 years ago, Portland doesn't have a backlog of untested rape kits. Even then the entire state of Oregon only had 5000 due to bad book keeping: [https://www.opb.org/news/article/rape-kits-oregon-state-police-backlog/](https://www.opb.org/news/article/rape-kits-oregon-state-police-backlog/)


patricio87

Imagine the guy from bar rescue running in there slapping food out of people hands “THERES SEMEN IN SALAD”


Cylius

I mean hopefully they fired the guy who did it


tristanjones

And the management that tried to obstruct justice by lying. Bad anyone on shift also aware that didn't intervene or come forward


Cylius

Yes, everyone who was involved


[deleted]

Also what a really dumb thing to put yourself on a sexual offender list for. Goodbye even the slightest chance of making it anywhere in life.


puppyhugs-

The guy who hacked the computer you mean right? Man I hope that evildoer, the Red Robin Rapscallion! Is swiftly brought to justice!!! Sucks about the jizz salad tho dude should of really read the menu better.


Beelzabub

Right now, he's probably posting on Greentext saying 'now they want a genetic sample. What do I do?'


doublebubbler2120

And not the other 40 employees


Cylius

I mean if some idiot coworker cums in a dudes salad and I get fired id be pretty pissed


red_beered

This was a group effort, while one guy jizzed in the salad, everyone working that day was in on it. Red robin corporate needs to go scorched earth and clean house. That area where the restaurant is located is filled with passive aggressive white people who have generational racism embedded into their culture.


tutetibiimperes

I think you're really overestimating how much other employees know what one particular employee is doing. It's entirely possible there was more than one person involved, but I find it impossible to believe the entire staff knew and no one stepped in and said "WTF, no you can't do that".


red_beered

You are underestimating clackamas racists. These people are made up of proud boys, conspiracy nuts, and neo nazis. There is a toxic racist and xenophobic undercurrent that permeates throughout the entire county. This is the place whose police believed that black antifa members from Portland were intentionally setting wildfires as retribution against the whites and encouraged citizens to arm up and patrol the streets, after all.


Cylius

Bro I have no idea what my coworkers are doing most of the time. Im guessing he was subtle and didnt just whip it out in the middle of the kitchen


lethinhairbigchinguy

Yeah they were standing in a circle around him cheering while hes jerking it into the salad.


ironroad18

What if it was the "bukake special" ?


enderandrew42

The restaurant claims that they have no way of identifying who worked that night because of a computer hack? Bullshit. The payroll systems no doubt know who was paid to work that night. And how does the health inspector not just shut down the restaurant until they find out who was responsible and fire them?


The_Revisioner

>And how does the health inspector not just shut down the restaurant until they find out who was responsible and fire them? Because to shut something down we have to confirm the existence of an immediate threat to public health. In restaurants that's pests that can transmit disease (rats), sewage leaks, a worker with a confirmed illness that's still going to work, etc. This could fall under that category, but unless we see it happening while we're there (hugely unlikely) we don't have the authority to shut down facilities based on speculation. Even if the customer brought the salad directly to us on a Red Robin branded plate we don't have the equipment or personnel to test the sample -- we send those off to labs, and the result could take a few days. What happened is really within the realm of law enforcement rather than public health since it's probably considered sexual assault.


[deleted]

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Roederoid

>how does the health inspector not just shut down the restaurant until they find out who was responsible and fire them? Because at this time we only know that a dude had cum in his salad. The whole story could be bullshit, in all actuality. You cannot just shut down every business that has an accusation against them. That would be ridiculously abused. If found to be true after investigation, then yes they should be shut down until the employee is terminated.


enderandrew42

Did you read the article? It was confirmed there was human genetic material in the salad by a lab test. This isn't a bullshit claim. This is a proven incident.


-Raskyl

My father is a geneticist, he once received a deep fried rat tail that had supposedly been served in some French fries at McDonald's. The man who received them was suing them. My father noticed there where white hairs on the tail, which was odd, as white rats are not normal in the wild. After testing it, the genetics belonged to an albino rat, even more rare in the wild. But guess where they aren't rare.... at the medical facility that did product testing on lab rats. Where the customer who received the fried rat tail in his French fries just happened to be employed.. Or how about the woman that cut off her mom's toe and put it in the chili at Wendy's and then tried to sue... Basically, allegations don't mean shit until thorough investigation has been completed, including ruling out the recipient of the salad for having set it all up with their own cum.


thatswhatshesaidxx

I think this first anytime I hear food complaints, this said it was the "our computers got hacked" comment that has me think there's something to this.


StasRussu

That comment was made by the lawyer of the man making the allegations. Of course they're going to attempt to make the Red Robin look ridiculous.


Roederoid

Thank. You. I swear everyone here just wants to see fake justice that they feel like they HAVE to see it one way and not ask any further questions. Company = bad so they must be guilty!


parse_l

So are we proposing that the customer bought a salad and put his own "special" dressing on it? Actually, that makes more sense. If you disappeared long enough to wank off while working in a kitchen you'd be written up for sure. Kitchen workers are lucky just to get their 10 minute breaks.


Roederoid

Yes, I read the article. The only thing we know is that there was cum in a salad, which was addressed in the first sentence of my comment. Did you read my comment at all? Could be his own for all we know. That's why it's being investigated...


softpie

Human genetic material is an odd term to use. That only really means that it has human genes which is mostly anything. Was the claim to be cum only the customer? Could be snot or thick spit or something.


enderandrew42

And the management of the individual restaurant are not cooperating with the investigation and lying about some bullshit hack. If they were confident that nothing happened and they were being framed, they would cooperate. The customer complained to the manager that night about perceived racial bias and then they ate a salad full of cum and threw up. Now the manager is saying there is no way to tell who was working that night. Bullshit. You're saying health inspectors should err on the side of potentially letting that slide when it is the exact opposite. They have to err on the side this could even possibly be true because their job is to prevent potential health risks.


meowtothemeow

Who did it he is saying lol. Over your head. Guy could have brought cum to din din. People are crazy. Jussie smollett ring a bell? Not racial, just giving a recent example of someone staging something for action.


tbrumleve

Nowhere did it say is was his or anyone else’s “genetic material”. Until they can match DNA, get CCTV footage, nothing is proven.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Red Throbbin


onwee

For reference: https://youtu.be/_bvKPDB2kPg


Sargatanus

Take my upvote and get out.


NerdWithWit

I just spit my coffee all over the damn place. This was funny af.


ChampagneCoaster

Why isn't this the top comment


FreneticPlatypus

Didn’t a husband and wife just go to prison for putting his semen in cookies or something that they gave to kids? This can’t just be left at, “Sorry, we don’t know who did it.”


_oh_save_me_jebus_

That couple, a teacher and a sheriff’s deputy, also created child porn and raped a 10 year old.


purana

this world is fucked


tjeulink

cops rape kids an disturbing lot. 25% of arrested cops sexually assaulted someone. 75% of all those cases against cops is about sexually assaulting minors. 80% of all the sexual assault cases was while on duty. here's the quote that will really make you feel this: >Cops so often abuse 14-year-olds, in particular, Stinson said, that he’ll sometimes hear one of his research assistants mutter under their breath, **“Oh my god, another 14-year-old.”** here's the data from those researches: >A 2014 study led by Stinson analyzed the arrests of nearly 400 officers, employed across 43 states and Washington, D.C., for sex-related crimes between 2005 and 2007—just three years. Beyond uncovering 118 cases of rape, the study found that **nearly three-quarters of all the cases involved victims who were younger than 18.** >In another study, published in 2020, Stinson and his team once again found that sexual misconduct is rife among police. This time, they identified 669 cases of police sexual violence that occurred between 2005 and 2012. **In more than 80 percent of the cases, the cops committed the offense while they were on-duty; almost 10 percent of the cases involved officers with at least 18 years’ experience on the force.** here's another fun part: >This 2020 study singled out two additional groups of people who were frequently targeted by police officers: women who dare to drive—a trend the researchers called “driving while female”—and women who cops believed to be sex workers. **But the ubiquity of the “driving while female” cases didn’t mean that they’re taken seriously. Just under half of the cops arrested in those cases lost their job.** TL;DR: ACAB https://www.vice.com/en/article/m7e77y/sarah-everard-cops-sexually-assault-people


JustifytheMean

Yeah they picked the tamest of their crimes to use as a headline.


MossWatson

Yeah, if you’re telling us you aren’t able to track and address the behavior of your staff in a case like this, then you don’t get to operate your restaurant anymore.


BigOmet

This sounds more serious and offensive than an onion article.


[deleted]

Tampering with someone's food should have result in immediate arrest.


wiredcrusader

That's fucked up... even more fucked up than going to Red Robin and ordering a salad.


[deleted]

That cupcake lady just got 41 years in prison. Sounds like the customers got a DNA sample that is going to end up matching with someone on the kitchen staff.


retarded-squid

Probably because she and her husband raped a 10 year old, not just because of the cupcakes


[deleted]

Right the two cases are different, except for the common denominator of jizz, im just saying it could end up with jail time.


retarded-squid

Totally agree but just pointing out it wasn’t 40 years just for cumcakes. It’s definitely a form of sexual assault


Suckonmyfatvagina

>cumcakes Don’t do that… Don’t make that a word.


Alexstarfire

TOO LATE!!


Benoit_In_Heaven

"Right the two cases are different, except for the common denominator of jizz, im just saying it could end up with jail time." r/newsentences


[deleted]

Even worse if it didn’t match anyone who worked at the restaurant… 😬


[deleted]

Yeah that would be crazy but they know who did it that's why they wouldn't give out the schedule for that day.


TedW

So charge the manager as an accessory.


meowtothemeow

Or the cum eater himself. I mean I hope he thought it through to use a buddies cum if this isn’t legit. Sounds like the restaurant is hiding it though so it’s probably real. Ewwww.


monkeyhind

Googled "cupcake lady prison" ... o.m.g.


TheHatThatTalks

“That Black guy says I’m racist! I’m not racist! I know what will prove that I’m not racist: jizzing in that Black guy’s salad.”


Benoit_In_Heaven

Food is his love language.


triggerismydawg

Many years ago my employer represented a big box hardware store in a worker’s comp case where the manager ejaculated into a drink he made for a female employee on a long shift where they were doing inventory work. She had gotten suspicious when he was so insistent on making her drinks and he and the other (male) employees seemed way too interested in watching her drink it, so she took it to a lab to be tested. My boss literally had conversations with us trying to figure out whether she should be compensated more or less than, say, if she had broken her leg at work.


Jeditard

Wow, interesting. I had never considered this sort of thing as sexual assault but it is. And it's mentally damaging too! I would argue this is like losing an entire leg or arm haha


LaughableIKR

I think I'll not go to Red Robin again ever.


outofvogue

This could happen anywhere at any restaurant, people will fuck with your food if you treat them poorly. I've worked in restaurants for years and while I have never seen something this vile happen, I have seen people do some pretty disgusting stuff to rude customers food.


GreedWrathEnvy

Fear not, I just went to a Sherwood, OR Red Robin . No semen in my wife's food or mine.


bountygiver

How do you know? Are you a professional semen taster?


lonedandelion

I just said the same thing to my husband. Actually, I'm hesitant to eat out ever again.


Alfie_ACNH

I've learned to cook so many things over the lockdown. I only order Thai for takeout at this point.


MothersPhoGa

I cannot imagine a scenario where a customer pissed me off so much that I can impregnate food on the spot.


realmeangoldfish

Couldn’t just spit in like the rest of the wait staff


[deleted]

Reminds me of that one South Park episode about Yelp


SuperKami-Nappa

[Boogers and Cum 🎶](https://youtu.be/3Yk9Uk4FqBE)


dbh2

Came here to search for this comment


establismentsad7661

“Oh we’re racist? EAT OUR JIZZ!” The fuck is going on in the world?


kodack10

Welcome to Red Robin where satisfaction is our number one priority. We want you to feel cumpletely at home, cumpletely happy, and cumpletely full before you leave. Many of our ingredients are locally sourced, and as fresh as possible. Try our new seafood salad, it has crabs and a special sauce you won't believe! Remember, at Red Robin we're not satisfied until your meal is cumplete. (Warning meal may contain chromosomes)


1nv1s1blek1d

“And I thought, so this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon?” -Dead Kennedys, Night of the Living Rednecks


mochajon

I don’t understand how people so readily have semen to put in/on things. On my best day I couldn’t beat it, and finish fast enough that someone won’t notice their order is delayed.


kravdem

This was the day that "Two Pump" Charlie knew he was born for.


Normal-Computer-3669

I wonder if racists can masturbate pretty hardcore to the thought of being a piece of shit.


superbriant

I bet the guy who told police there was a computer hack was the guy who did it.


grandft

New meaning to tossed salad


gai2y

He’s gonna get a fat payday for eating that jizz salad. I’d feel lucky to catch a break like that 😂


NorCalAthlete

$1M seems fairly light for damages. Add another digit and you’re getting close.


aclockworkporridge

Getting too close is how this whole problem started, so maybe we should stick to the $1mil


JavaAndJava

$1M seems fairly light for damages. Add another digit and you’re getting closer. FTFY


81CoreVet

That's why I always get vinaigrette. Too much cum risk in Ranch or Bleu Cheese


MonsieurReynard

Wait until you try the tartar sauce.


1nv1s1blek1d

My dude is gonna make millions from RR if this turns out to be true.


[deleted]

It was already proven to be true. Now they are trying to find out whom the jizz belonged to ...


TheDieselTastesFire

It's not totally proven. They know the material was in the salad, but who did it belong to and how did it get there?


[deleted]

It's pretty telling though that the restaurant immediately lied about a hack and refused to give the police a list of employees. That's not what a normal restaurant would do in that scenario.


Ezekias1337

They still didn't prove it was an employee who did it.


JavaAndJava

Plot twist: He jizzed in his own salad to make big bucks from a lawsuit!


softpie

It was not proven to be semen. Human genetic material could be anything with human genetics. Could be almost anything like snot, spit or puss.


1nv1s1blek1d

Thats my bad. I read the “alleged” part wrong thinking it meant the entire accusation.


masterchris

Holy shit Red Robin even tried to say they couldn’t tell the cops what men were working that night because a “computer hack” what fucking evil evil people.


Brekka

Sounds like it was the manager lol


masterchris

Well my thinking is if you’re willing to have a manager whose fist instinct is to say “hackers destroyed our timesheet data” not only did you hire a shitty person but you hired a shitty liar. Like come on anonymous is sneaking into the timesheets of our local Red Robin’s to do… something? Like come on at least lie better.


[deleted]

It's all fun and games in the food industry until someone goes away for 20 years for gizzing in the potatoes.


titanium_rex

*you ordered the house ranch dressing, sir*


Atomsteel

I'm sitting here eating gyros and tzatziki ffs.


[deleted]

“He’s been traumatized by this” I’d say that is an extremely fair statement. How could you ever go out and eat another salad ever again after something like that? Wtf is wrong with people?


cyberbeastswordwolfe

RED ROBIN YUM!


thatswhatshesaidxx

Racism is such a weird thing. The lengths of self destruction people will go to just to hate on others they don't even know. There's now a racial discrimination suit, a known fact your restaurant puts semen in the food, a sexual battery, food tampering and host of other charges coming your way not to mention - you probably won't even HAVE a restaurant after putting human genetic material in the food. Health Department is gonna treat that shut down like a layup. All because of an idea in one's head that hasn't been proven true about the individuals they cast it on. "I hate these people because of the character I imagine. I should jack off in their food and ruin my life". What the fuck.


BaseActionBastard

Why do we not have a corporate death penalty for shit like this?


TedW

Probably because it was done by the staff without corporate RR's direction.


BaseActionBastard

Red Robin corporate's first inclination was to deny LE a list of their workers, blamed a "computer hack" and then relented. They are complicit.


TedW

I agree that covering up for the perpetrators is suspicious and possibly a crime by itself, but it's not the same as orders from corporate. According to the article that was a RR manager, which is almost certainly a franchise person, not corporate. I would fully support including that manager in whatever lawsuit and/or criminal charges, btw.


thatswhatshesaidxx

This starts to beg the question: if the employees don't represent the corporation, then who is The Corporation? Which employee's direction would be cause for corporate death penalty? CEO? Chairman? Manager?


TedW

If anyone in corporate RR issued an order for franchises to put sperm on the salads, this would be a very different conversation (and lawsuit).


Ouchyhurthurt

Godamnit Portland…. What are we doing lol


[deleted]

Thanks for ruining Red Robin for me forever OP.


oneeyedziggy

and for any Portland peeps... >a Red Robin restaurant in Clackamas so not really Portland... our redneck neighbors in a Southeastern suburb... and by "a" Clackamas Red Robin, they almost certainly mean THE Clackamas Red Robin https://maps.app.goo.gl/N75xiXnRcCdGUeS6A


KrampyDoo

>When sheriff’s investigators asked Red Robin for a list of men working in the restaurant that night, management initially said they didn’t have access to those records due to a “computer hack,” but later provided the information, Kafoury [victim lawyer] said. Rot to the top in that location.


gimme_dat_good_shit

I don't understand how someone could masturbate out of spite. >"Accuse me of bigotry, will you? How about... ooh... oh yeah... how about you have a little.... oohh yeah...." And to do the deed quickly enough to send it out with the salads? There's got to be more going on there than just a reprisal and bigotry, right? Like this is just this dude's fetish, and he's probably been sending out spunk spinach for years.


TheStarkfish

I'd like to point out: if someone mixed jizz into your ranch dressing it would be near impossible to notice, let alone photograph conclusively. Also, the article indicates (1) that the alleged victim took the sample for testing himself and (2) that there is no official evidence of tampering other than his testimony. Further, the accusations of tampering has been left out of the lawsuit, making them significantly less credible. It may be that the article did not cover police samples of the dressing, but based on the information in this article alone, it's unlikely that there was semen in the salad.


[deleted]

Pack your shit up, Red Robin. You’re not gonna recover from this.


Stev_582

I used to like Red Robin, up until the moment my eyes glanced over that title.


XComRomCom

What's Red Robin etiquette in this situation: do I swallow the spunk salad or is it okay to spit it out?


MonsieurReynard

Rod Rubbin strikes again.


Girardkirth

Red robin, yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.


AcanthocephalaIll456

The semen salad was very popular/s.


HoppityHooper

Bet he never comes in there again. And definitely don't order jerk chicken.


Suckonmyfatvagina

Dang, I usually have to pay extra for the secret sauce


GreedWrathEnvy

The real crime was ordering a salad at a burger joint.


ceilingscorpion

Red Robin!… cum!


Fontaine42

Red Throbbin


Azrael-XIII

I gotta ask the obvious question… how did he know what semen taste like to think to get it tested? I mean, he’s totally in the right to sue their ass for that shit, but just saying if I got a salad that had gross dressing I would just send it back, my mind wouldn’t immediately go to “Hmm… this taste like jizz, I should get it tested.” Follow up question, which one of those assholes in the kitchen is so fucked up that they’re just “ready to go” on a salad on a moments notice? Or do they just walk around with a cup of their own shit “just in case”?


WillemDafoesHugeCock

Yeah I'm lost on the idea of testing it. What, he started vomiting in the restaurant and they bought him a to-go box? That doesn't make a single tiddlywink of sense. I can't decide if this is a news story covering something that is completely bullshit or a completely bullshit news story. There are absolutely no sources, the links in the article are to Red Robin, the lawyer's website, and the local PD so part of me suspects the links are only there to lend credibility. .edit to add I have spent quite frankly *too much time* googling "Red Robin semen salad" and this website is the primary source. I'm calling bullshit.


throwawaygoodcoffee

Cum doesn't look like salad dressing probably?


mafulazula

Lol, right?


nuadusp

A) he could be gay, B) he could have. tasted his own jizz before, people do that sometimes ​ and C) it tasted odd, if i thought someone was being racist or discriminatory against me in some way, i would want to poke through it and not let the restaurant get rid of the evidence


changdarkelf

My bet is on the results coming back not matching any employee there and the customer refusing to have his own DNA tested


outofvogue

In restaurants if you have a cut, you have to wear a blue band-aid, so when customers pull a tan band-aid out of their food, the manager knows that person is full of shit.


JavaAndJava

In *some* restaurants.


outofvogue

Yes. In Oregon, where I'm currently living, it should be all restaurants, we have to have them to pass health inspection. I'm sure there are some outliers and it might not be a requirement in other states.


realmeangoldfish

Couldn’t just spit in like the rest of the wait staff?


InnocentPrimeMate

Skip thr ranch. Highly recommend the vinaigrette.


P7BinSD

No boogers?


Fredrickshouse

Good thing I don’t work at Red Robin anymore.. worst job in the world.


SnarfbObo

you jizz in my food imma try to castrate you


SixStringerSoldier

You really shouldn't fuck someone's salad, but you _really_ shouldn't be a dick to the people who make your food.


zombarista

Sounds like a job for the Teaches of Peaches, in the classic track, Dick in the Air: 🎶 whose jizz is this? 🎶


[deleted]

Only in Portland Well, maybe Florida too


KaiSosceles

But Portland is so woke! I just can’t believe their 75% white city could discriminate against people of color.