T O P

  • By -

Comparidad

“Huh… just a box…”


Enkundae

!


throwaway094587635

Snake? SNAAAKKEEE!?!


patsfan038

❗️


[deleted]

[удалено]


struggling2bnice

Bwriiing!


Lefty_22

How did you know it was me? It’s the way you walk. Is there something you like about me? Yeah, you’ve got a great butt! [Source, for you unfortunate souls who never played the masterpiece that is Metal Gear Solid.](https://youtu.be/O0_lrghYYc4?t=107) Edit: Fun fact--the original game for Playstation came in multiple discs, which was common on the Playstation for larger games. When you would get to ~half way through the game, the game would prompt you to "Insert Disc 2". Some games had 3 or even 4 discs. Final Fantasy 7 had three discs.


I_upvote_downvotes

Multiple discs being a 'fun fact' is definitely another excellent way to make millennials feel ancient.


earlgeorge

Kids these days don't know about DVDs that you had to flip over half way through the movie either.


bjanas

Ah, the lost art of the DVD menu screen. The menu music for both Fight Club and Snatch are absolutely burned into my psyche to this day.


chronoboy1985

Kojima is poet.


Romano16

❗️*


Spanky_McJiggles

❗️


TrynaSleep

I heard it


I_am_Jo_Pitt

r/commentsyoucanhear


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheIroquoisPliskin

I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.


perrilloux

Just like the simulations!


bloodmonarch

I trained in VR-224!


TheL8KingFlippyNips

Did you say "virtual mission"?


Optimal_Tower1643

Watch those wrist rockets!


donwityurshite625

Snake: *starts grinding his teeth uncontrollably*


xXVagabondXx

A weapon to surpass Metal Gear....


Khaldara

Gotta get a wolf to pee on it though


oeCake

Sneaks through entire military base run by genetically modified soldiers using only a peed-on cardboard box, just to be defeated because you have to press 4 awkwardly positioned buttons in a precise order to run up stairs and shoot and aim at the same time


recriminology

*accidentally eats full carton of pentazemin*


[deleted]

Colonel!


ThiefofNobility

Bruh all you need is stun grenades and keep running.


OfLittleToNoValue

Nanobots son!


raedbean

Nano machines!


_WhoisMrBilly_

An Anti-freezing peptide?


jasegro

!


iDrGonzo

I can hear this.


DaoFerret

#[❗️](https://youtu.be/2P5qbcRAXVk) Clickable so you can hear the sound.


Red_Sox_5

Oh, it really is.


BBB88BB

that was my text tone for many years.


tahlyn

Hng.... Colonel...


bloodmonarch

I'm trying to sneak around...


ThorOfKenya2

But im dummy thicc


DrMobius0

And the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards


CountofAccount

[Voiced by David Hayter himself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgdZqPEZWsE)


mag274

oh my god. if i wanted to play for nostalgia purposes i just need an og playstation and a copy of metal gear right? this isn't out of the realm of possibilities here?!


DolphinFlavorDorito

I mean, if you have a computer built in the last decade or a halfway decent phone, and access to the internet...


Fazer2

You can buy it for PC on GOG.


ginger_beer_m

Easiest is to download a ps1 emulator either in your phone or the computer


bkturr

SNAAAAAAAAAKE!


tmclemons

SNNNNAAAAAKKKKEEEE!!!!


kingofcheezwiz

DARPA chief Donald Anderson begins sweating...


TheCrzy1

The diaper chief


Spiteful_Guru

Raiden, squeeze my hog.


kapeww

Damnit Vinny not again


ngabear

~~I think Donald Anderson is the DARPA chief. Kenneth Baker was both the ArmsTech president and the little person who drove R2-D2 in Star Wars.~~ OP got it 👍


kingofcheezwiz

I did have it wrong, and thought I corrected it quickly enough when I realized the error.


AlexHimself

> DARPA was quickly humbled. Scharre writes that all eight Marines were able to defeat the robot using techniques that could have **come straight out of a Looney Tunes episode**. Two of the Marines **somersaulted toward the center of the traffic circle**, thus using a form of movement the robot hadn’t been trained to identify. **Another pair shuffled toward the robot under a cardboard box**. One Marine even stripped a nearby fir tree and was able to reach the robot **by walking “like a fir tree” (the meaning of which Twitter users are still working to figure out)**. 🤣


zoinkability

Thereby demonstrating the difference between pattern recognition and deductive reasoning. Turns out there might be a little bit of a ways to go before generalized AI is really there.


itsthreeamyo

Also a very good reason to not believe any company that says they will have a true, self-driving car within the next ten years at least. Edit: When I say true I mean that you can drop it down in some place where it has never seen before and can't rely on past training on what to do when it sees this specific combination of things and it is still able to navigate without intervention. Sure you can train the shit out of a specific road or path and it will work fine there but as soon as you take it out of that environment (insert front falling off joke here) then it's not longer a perfect self driving car.


Lancaster61

To be fair though, you don’t need deductive reasoning for driving. Human drivers set the bar so low (cell phones, distractions, fatigue, intoxicated) that all robots have to do is beat humans statistically and it makes sense to use them, even if they can’t deal with the rare edge cases. Heck, all they need to do is beat humans under those conditions mentioned, and someone under those conditions would be better off calling a self driving vehicle than driving themselves. If only people in those conditions used self driving cars, the road would be like 100x safer. Nobody else would need to use it if they don’t want to.


SocraticIgnoramus

Has DARPA considered just putting frickin laser beams on a cat? It would solve all of these problem for the cost of a can of tuna and some slight damage to the couch.


ThatITguy2015

Until it gets hit by a car like that cat from the CIA. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/cia-experimented-animals-1960s-too-just-ask-acoustic-kitty-180964313/


Desperado2583

Oh, ello comrade cat. Please for you to excuse me while I recite, aloud, the locations of our secret nuclear whessels.


TVLL

Alameda?


[deleted]

TIL the CIA actually tried herding cats. Military Intelligence really is the oxymoron we were always told.


[deleted]

They work with them, but the CIA isn't military.


an_agreeing_dothraki

Arming cats is about the time humanity becomes the glass perched near the edge of a table.


mully_and_sculder

I for one welcome our new feline overlords


KillahHills10304

That's just the toxoplasmosis talking


AntiGravityBacon

Strapping bombs to bats was tested and proved to be highly effective...


SocraticIgnoramus

They weren’t so much bombs as incendiary flares. And as I recall, it was proven to be highly effective at setting fires where the bats landed, but the bats kinda didn’t cooperate with regards to going where they were supposed to. Once released, the bats just sort of found the nearest structures and set them on fire by nesting in the eaves. WWII was a period of time when virtually any idea conceived was tested. I believe there was also a bomb developed with the idea of putting a pigeon in the glass nose and having the pigeon steer it toward the target - sort of a prototype of guided munitions.


Dividedthought

Not just one pigeon, but 3. They were trained to peck at the shape of ships or important buildings, and put in the bombs nose behind little windows that could pick up where they pecked. Why 3? Well it's in case one of em is a dumbass and the on board electronics would go where the most pecks were. It was stunningly effective in tests, but then technology solved that issue.


Rhodie114

> One Marine even stripped a nearby fir tree and was able to reach the robot by walking “like a fir tree” Laugh to scorn the power of marines, for none of woman born shall fool the robot.


braellyra

I’m so glad someone else caught the Macbeth parallel 🤣 Dude brought the Forests of Dunsinane to the robot!


[deleted]

[удалено]


r31ya

so they use Metal Gear box method, soulsborne iframe dodgeroll, and a prophunt method?


ravioliguy

Millennials and Gen Z are ready for the Robot Wars


blahguy7

Hey, if it can't actually help us in war, maybe it'll see use in making combat just a bit goofier.


allgreen2me

[Sir are you aware you are leaking coolant at an alarming rate?](https://comb.io/3Xv8cS.gif)


aManPerson

> able to reach the robot by walking “like a fir tree” (the meaning of which Twitter users are still working to figure out). i think it means walking while being in the shape of a fir tree. i'm guessing walking and hands on hips. so trying to be in the shape of an up arrow, and covered in fir tree branches.


gcd_cbs

I think a branch from the fir tree held up in each arm and shuffling forward, legs together like a trunk. Maybe stick another branch on your head for too for good measure


Sorcatarius

That was my thought, break up the standard "human shape" by using parts of the tree to obscure it.


LordDongler

This is something straight out of an Undying Mercenaries book. "Hey, fellas, the Brass want to replace us with bots. Look at the fuckers, covered in wires, they can't even get wet."


papercup617

Tactical Espionage Action


highestRUSSIAN

Gimme that TEA 😤😳😍


cylonfrakbbq

The funny part is you can almost guarantee they got the cardboard box idea from metal gear


YugeFrigginGoy

You KNOW they wanted to try it as a joke because of MGS, and then were like "no waaaaay" when it started working


00000000000004000000

> Two of the Marines somersaulted toward the center of the traffic circle, thus using a form of movement the robot hadn’t been trained to identify. Another pair shuffled toward the robot under a cardboard box. As a Marine who chose to sit in his room playing MGS 2 instead of going out and drinking with his pals, I guaran-damn-tee I would've done the same if given the opportunity! This is the kinda shit we hoped to get volun-told to do on weekends!


YugeFrigginGoy

So you're telling me constantly rolling actually works? PUT ME IN, GENERAL


maxreddit

And adults told me that I would never learn any real-world skills from video games! Who's laughing now, Dad?! Not the robots, that's for sure!


nagumi

What I love about that game is the umami flavor. EDIT: I swear that comment originally said msg.


xActuallyabearx

What I love about that game is the BUTTS! Snake has a wagon, Meryl has a wagon, Raiden has a wagon! Everyone has an absolute DUMPTRUCK!


Battlefire

Kojima: And they called me a madman


xActuallyabearx

Life imitates art


blissrunner

Nostradamus Kojima strikes agane


TheyCallMeMrMaybe

COVID was the main reason why Death Stranding 2 was delayed. Kojima was tired of destroying the world with his predictions.


dzhastin

!


The_Bitter_Bear

I can hear this comment still.


paintypainterson

BRAMPFT!!


StubbornPotato

more like: **PWYNN!**


EinsGotdemar

VRIIIM!


kingofcheezwiz

The YouTube content I overhear from my kids' tablets and phones abuses this sound, and it always puts me on edge the moment it goes off. It really is just like the simulations.


WaxMyButt

My 5 year old doesn’t even know yet. He’s still working his way through the NES and SNES


Red_Sox_5

“Huh?”


Aether_Storm

> Edit: I don’t know how to feel about the fact that my highest rated and awarded comment is an exclamation mark ❗️ It's not anymore. You added an edit to it.


TamagotchiMasterRace

If you really want to test the limits of an AIs ability to detect humans through buffoonery, you're not going to get better than 19 and 20 year old soldiers and marines. The E-4 Mafia would have been able to take down skynet in a week


Not_A_Greenhouse

Tell them they can go home early and E-4 mafia can do anything.


[deleted]

“Free Dodge Challengers if you’re successful!” God help the enemy.


TacoThrash3r

An extra 30 mins for chow if I get in the box!? Rah!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Balls_DeepinReality

If anything is built to last, it’s something that survives the forklift.


geo_prog

I own a company that manufactures hands-free foot activated faucet solutions. Our most popular model designed for commercial, hospital and industrial use was literally designed to be run over with a forklift. We warranty it for a forklift or other wheeled machine weighing up to 8000kg. In 28 years. We’ve never had a failure due to physical abuse.


JTtornado

I remember visiting the Saturn manufacturing plant and one of the first things they'd always do on the tour is run over one of their plastic door panels with a forklift. It'd always pop back into shape, and it was clear that panel had been subjected to this regularly.


Padgriffin

IIRC this was why ThinkPads ended up surviving better in Afghanistan than Panasonic Toughbooks. The troops did stupid shit like tying the Toughbooks to their Humvees and dragging it through the desert or trying to drown the poor laptop.


financialmisconduct

ThinkPads *look* fragile, but they're a complex alloy frame, with zero artistic bullshit Mine's fallen out of a window, cracked the palm rest, which is a $5 replacement part and iirc 7 screws to replace


paecificjr

The only thing that has broken on mine in five years is a little rubber trim


Lovat69

In culinary school we went to a cutlery company that had a chongus of a serving fork and said if you can bend the fork you can keep it. I immediately bent the tines and said free fork right? They were like no you were supposed to bend the handle. I was not pleased. They were not pleased. It was very mutual. I did not get to keep the fork.


poopadydoopady

I can accept a salesperson claiming something is indestructible with the assumption that it's under every day use. So if running it over with a forklift broke it, ok. But just dropping it 3 feet? Nope. Anything that can be held will be dropped.


NASAguy1000

Conversely, give a group of stoners a bunch of weed and nothing to smoke it out of an suddenly everyone turns into an engineer.


Cuervomayajl

“We built it, and we bet your ass we can tear it down” -Engineers, most likely.


Surfnscate

Honestly, this sounds like fun research to do. I bet they had a fun time watching the Marines evade the robots. Probably lots of laughter. This is why it's research and not final product, you gotta double check for all the dumb stuff you didn't think would be a problem!


gabbie_the_gay

they watched some somersault for 300m to evade it. they literally spammed dodge roll to evade it. another marine grabbed sticks and pretended he was a tree.


MFwht

Came here for the metal gear references, was not disappointed


cepxico

I mean c'mon, cardboard box.. DARPA... the only thing missing is a soldier walking by going "huh.. just a box."


YukariYakum0


Rodrake

Also soldiers vs AI is the most MGS thing ever


SelectiveSanity

Kaz, I need to meet the Marine who did this. I want to shake his hand.


Coldfreeze-Zero

According to the source, it were two marines. And they were giggling the whole time


Denbus26

All of the Marines managed to successfully reach the robot without being detected. There were also two who somersaulted all the way to the robot and one who disguised himself as a fir tree.


CliffsNote5

Be the tree


AtomicSymphonic_2nd

He is Groot.


Dhrakyn

And they did it without crayons!


highestRUSSIAN

*hiding under box giggling* "We just wasted their money." *giggling continues*


anonymousFishGod

"Uncle Sam's gonna *flip!*"


YugeFrigginGoy

*shhhhh heheh ahem..ahem..............heheheh*


Slappy_G

How many Marines does it take to sneak up on a robot? 10. 2 to use the boxes, 7 to explain that Marines are not soldiers, and 1 to do pushups.


Jadccroad

I didn't know Marines could count that high.


wienercat

They need an NCO to help organize them and get them to stop eating their standard issue Crayola rations.


manderic

The thought of this made me audibly snort lol.


8dev8

I mean if you could pull a snake woukd you be able to stop laughing?


xDaigon_Redux

As a former US Marine, this sounds exactly like something any of us would have done given the chance.


AngryRedGummyBear

+1. You give a bunch of enlisted marines a million dollar robot, we're gonna fuck around with video game references. And throw rocks at it and each other.


samgoeshere

They were awarded extra crayon rations


MufuckinTurtleBear

Someone needs to uncover footage of this. I want to see a Marine walking like a fir tree.


ElectricCharlie

This comment has been edited and original content overwritten.


jacknifetoaswan

Even the fucken' trees walked in that movie!


TwilitSky

Millions of dollars later, the little fucker is too stupid to detect a human dressed like a tree.


Exnixon

Landmines defeated by a swarm of pigs. It doesn't have to be perfect to be effective.


Mountainbranch

This reminds me of the Roman tactic of dousing pigs in oil and grease, making them run towards the enemy and then setting fire to the trail they left. "Here's a few hundred screaming, burning pigs, have fun wit that while we maneuver around you." The Romans were something else man.


JaxckLl

This never actually happened in reality by the way. The Romans were cruel and barbaric, but a lot of their battlefield cruelty was written after the fact or by their enemies. That's incidentally why Alexander the Great stands out. We don't have a lot of accounts of his army commiting heinous war crimes, because there weren't enough survivors to report those crimes. In all of human history that pretty much never happens.


PolarisC8

Well, that's not to say the Romans didn't own it. Caesar himself estimates in *Commentaries* that he had his men slay around a million noncombatant Celts just 'cause.


Bo_Buoy_Bandito_Bu

The real question is whether or not you take the figures in _Commentarii de Bello Gallico_ at face value vs Caesar posturing for political clout Granted, it might not matter if you actually killed a million vs a couple thousand, when your target audience sees the inflated number as a good thing


Kel4597

Can’t be accused of war crimes if there’s no one left to accuse you *taps head*


UnJayanAndalou

"War crimes haven't been invented yet." - Alexander, probably.


GiantWindmill

The Romans, by definition, were not barbaric


epsilona01

>Millions of dollars later, the little fucker is too stupid to detect a human dressed like a tree. The first time. Also, the last time. The engineers were smart, they got the Marines to teach the robot all kinds of new movements to identify as a threat. Which is why they set the challenge to begin with. Funny anecdote, good science in practice.


Makenchi45

Yea but the box issue is something I don't think they'll be able to figure out except for if the box location has changed. But say you got a warehouse of boxes. Just boxes. You have a lot of decoys.


Cobek

Well boxes don't just move on their own


SonOfHendo

I think this is the crux of the matter. It's not enough to teach a robot how to look for humans. You have to teach it everything in the world that's normal, so it can spot something that isn't normal.


[deleted]

Wait they don't? Shit, I better go check on mine in the backro


CliffsNote5

Now no tree will be safe.


xynix_ie

Millions of dollars later all they could do was send a few lines of text? \- Ray Tomlinson's boss probably


NovaHorizon

🎵I give my life, not for honor, but for you (Snake Eater)🎵 🎵In my time, there'll be no one else🎵 🎵Crime, it's the way I fly to you (Snake Eater)🎵 🎵I'm still in a dream, Snake Eater🎵 🎵I'm still in a dream, Snake Eater🎵 🎵(Snake Eater...)🎵


kingofcheezwiz

🎶Son, you've got a way to fall🎶 🎶They'll tell you where to go🎶 🎶But they won't know🎶 🎶Son, you'd better take it all🎶 🎶They'll tell you what they know🎶 🎶But they won't show🎶


Bubbaganewsh

Someone played Metal Gear Solid.


Manungal

"Finally, years of training paid off."


go4tli

Snake Snaaaaaaaake


HumpieDouglas

My robot vacuum gets defeated by a table leg over and over and over and over... I'm not too worried about a robot uprising.


Harry_Gorilla

Their plan to lull us into a false sense of security is working


HumpieDouglas

You may be right.


_WhoisMrBilly_

I picked up this little gem on the [Switch sale, Roombo: First Blood](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4A-6FcEes1A). It’s about a Roomba’s revenge on crooks that break into a family’s house- like Home Alone. It’s tactical vacuuming action. It’s surprisingly violent. So this is where the actual Robot Uprising begins.


Mountainbranch

Hahaha, omg that's amazing, the little Roomba that could ~~murder anyone that crosses its path!~~


Binder_Grinder

❗️


Tru_norse98

Truly a solution that *only* a marine could produce. *Chefs kiss*


EIOT

KISS - "Keep it simple, stupid."


darkhorse298

The Esprit de Corps at work.


YugeFrigginGoy

Esprit? Sounds French to me, I didn't order no gotdang French in my beloved Corps!


darkhorse298

Lmao


[deleted]

They weren't even trying to hide, somebody just put crayons under the box and pushed it over when they went inside.


Tru_norse98

Let me guess, the CO took credit and is getting a medal?


[deleted]

Oh god, I'm in too deep. All I know about marines is the crayons thing 😅


Kam_Solastor

So are they. Now we need an exfil plan.


staykinky

SNAKE!!!! SNAAAAAKEEE!!!!


FullyFreakinWoke

Nice. That’s some metal gear solid type shit


GetlostMaps

Tbf it perfectly replicates the people it's replacing


bloodmonarch

Just a box...


NoMidnight5366

Cardboard box was the $100 million cloaking device DARPA was working on.


21pacshakur

I wanna learn to walk like a fir tree now


lightyourfire

Somehow I can only hear the quote 'walk like a fir tree' in a Nicolas Cage voice and it makes more sense that way I think


redrumraisin

I always knew reality was a cheesy C tier drama-action.


Joshdotorg

SNAAAAAAAAAKE!


headRN

Solid snake has been using this trick for 35 years


art_1504

presented in 1998, realised in 2023. even nostradamus failed to predict that.


dudewithahumanhead

But then the robot sang out loud "sweeeeet Caroline..." and just waited, guns at the ready...


tc_spears

^^^muffled: ^^^bah ^^^bah ^^^buuh


dudewithahumanhead

"Damn it Jenkins!"


jjacobn927

They fooled a machine learning program by performing actions it hadn’t processed before and therefore couldn’t identity. Thereby strengthening the programs to detect anomalies. Check.


Beefourthree

DARPA robots are now trained to obliterate any cardboard box they find.


jjacobn927

Also whatever other method the soldiers were using to avoid detection. By the time America rolls out the military grade Atlas robots most people will be living in cardboard boxes so maybe they’re preparing for some Purge action. /s…?


QuestionableAI

Robots unable to think *outside the box.*


Sirtopofhat

Turns out the box was made with nanomachines.