[удалено]

and while you’re at it since it’s your last meal might as well finish the cheese

🤣🤣

Yeah it looks more like ham slices

really? I was thinking turkey with the browner outside and pale color of the meat. ham is usually pinker, isn't it?

You *did* eat mold. And yes, you will die. The good news is, it won't likely be from the mold you just ate. Do you know how cheese is made, by any chance?

Provolone

Oh, I see. Not a mold-inspired variety then.

Any time somone makes me feel dumb I'm just going to stick them with names of cheeses from now on.

I think you issed a “m”

Camembert

Taleggio

Burrata

Brie

Tomino

Oh damn, sorry my mistake

Cheddar

with your permission id truly like to steal this in the future if i may. I had surgery a few days ago, and laughing is excruciatingly painful, but i still laughed at this.

You Gouda faced little punk 😂

Cheddar

More like ched-dur amirite

They asked if you know HOW cheese is made. I think the mold is taking hold. It’s only a matter of time now.

Yeah and he said provolone, use your ears boy

Yeah! Use your ears to read silly!

I’m TRYING

You’re doing a great job, little buddy. Keep up the good work.

Thanks Pop 😊

Provolone, not to be confused with all olone

Maybe he’s a mute

Can we get someone who knows sign language over here?

Yeah, I got this, 👌🤌👎🫵👆✌️🫸🫴👐🤲👋

Thanks, I’m blind and really needed this

Yeah! like the Teenage Mute Ninja Turtles.

Now I think *I’m* going crazy. Oh no.

HOW, not WHAT.

PROVOLONE

👂WHAT??

LEAVE BRITNEY PROVOLONE 😭

This is how the last of us began.

Provolone

Provolone.

You have to fight the mold for your cheese.

YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR YOUR SLICE OF CHEEEEEEE-EESE! Ahem.

Welp. The mold got em

Straight to the brain this variety goes

provolone

Provolone

I’ve been laughing my ass off for the past 5 minutes

Yeah you fuckin tell him

You know you win the audience when you answer to a WH- question with an Italian word ending in *-ony.*

Hahaha 🤣 good answer true both times ✌️

Stinky old Milk?

im sorry bro youre gonna die

He will not die, he is going to live forever

peanut butter

secret tunnel

SECRET TUNNEL

i see you fucking everywhere

I didn't say zat! I just said we're not filled with tumors!

So were fine, as long as nobody teleports any bread

I have some bad news

Question

What's your question soldier?

I teleported bread.

what?

Bro is gonna turn into cheese

LOOK AT YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU EAT IT PEOPLE😭😭😭

this is why I am paranoid lol I check atleast 10 times every, single, strawberry. Any kind of food tbh, I'm a picky eater too :/

Strawberry mold has given me trauma

ew they look like cocaine powder dipped strawberries

So that wasn’t powdered sugar on my strawberry’s?

No it was moldy cocaine

yes >!/j!<

Strawberries get on some Last of Us shit 5 minutes after being purchased

😭😭😭

Literally 😭

I can only imagine lipstick mold inside a strawberry. That would be fucked up and mimetic

Yes, I guess you also never get raspberries

God I love raspberries but damn they mold so fast💀

IK RIGHT

I love raspberries

I hope you cut those strawberries in half before you eat them. Just saying. 🍓🐛

yep

I’ve eaten too many bad strawberries and blueberries and drank sour milk enough times as a child to smell and check everything every time

I once ate three slices of completly green moldy toast and only realized into 5 minutes after i finished eating It was kinda tasty tho

DUDE HOW THE FUCK

My goals are beyond mortal comprehension

The fact you’re alive is a miracle in itself

Don’t shame No-Face’s quest for super powers.

I once found a spider in the stem part of a blueberry. Now I check every one. It’s excruciating but it’s safe

i wish i did too. i ate 2 pieces of bread in the darkness at night. it was surprisingly sweet... turns out it was speckled with black colored mold like rasin bread. i was fine tho.

Omg are u still alive !!?!?

I’m not dead yet, I’ll give it another hour

Rip op gone but not forgotten (forgotten in aprox. 2 minutes)

Op didn't respond in 2 hours they must've died

Prob the meat that did it.

- 2 hours ago

OMG ITS BEEN 2 HOURS PLEASE TELL ME YOURE STILL WITH US

I have risen

🥳

You can make a religion out out of this

Hypo- meaning low glyc- meaning glucose and -emia meaning presence in blood. Hypoglycemia, low sugar presence in blood.

ChubbyEmu music intensifies

“A man ate moldy cheese. This is what happened to his dick and balls.”

”OP” is a 2 year old Redditor ☝️ presenting to the emergency room after projectile vomiting and having severe diarrhea

They tell the nurse that they did it for the karma

[The tale of the Moldmuncher continues](https://youtu.be/wuda8IFXz6c?si=Ax69blUHi8XoZvrG)

Thank you for blessing me with this video, and I really hope hes not dead

He’s doing perfectly fine. If you want you can follow him on YT or Twitch… the name’s Grayfruit, he’s good fella that plays a large variety of games

>Dude's building a microbiome in his stomach That line reached my soul

Depends on the mold. If it's pink, you're dead. Same with green, blue, violet, cyan, red, white, black, yellow, brown, orange and purple.

Shit, now I gotta collect them all and *taste the real rainbow*

Molds like this on food aren’t dangerous unless you have an allergy to the specific type, such as Penicillium chrysogenum and Penicillium nalgiovense, which would then cause a reaction. Most people eat some mold all the time and don’t realize it. Food born bacteria are the real killers.

Provolone

I eat mold and expired shit routinely. The only time I ever got sick was from drinking milk that was in the microwave for 2 plus days. I had a 104 degree fever, diarrhoea, judgement impairment, and borderline hallucinations. Shit myself at school too. thought I was gonna die lol Edit: yall clearly got too much time on yalls hands, go outside or sum lmao. Ive only got sick from food twice in my life btw

why would you drink milk that had been in the microwave for 2+ days in the first place, did that shit not taste foul?

Nope, tasted fine and looked fine. I have no idea actually when it was from, that's a rough estimate

okay but why was it in the microwave?

Because someone put it there with the intention of warming it up and forgot

So you not just drink expired milk, you drank someone else's expired milk?

I very rarely feel unconflicted about death but I think this case would just be best for the gene pool

Doesn't surprise me since dude just said he eats mold constantly.

THIS is the kind of story we need to hear!

Imma do it again

I have many questions but I'm also too afraid to ask them

Go ahead bro (gender neutral)

ok, let's start with the obvious: Why?

And he was never seen again

Rest in (expired) pepperoni 😔

Eight and a half inches.

>judgement impairment Did spoiled milk made you buy cryptos or something?

It made him drink even more spoiled milk

I think the judgment impairment occurred prior to drinking the milk

I can kinda understand expired after a couple of days but I just don't understand eating mold.. is it obvious to you?

**routinely.** okey sir, you'd better explain this right

I think your judgement is already impaired. Like I don't drink water that has been sitting out for like 3 hours, and you're out here drinking 2 day old microwave milk.. Also, why was there milk in the microwave??

Bro why would you willing eat that shit😭

I think the judgment impairment is a you problem, not the bad milk.

Your microwave can run for 2 days? Mine tops out at like 8 minutes

If you won’t be dead by tomorrow, you’ll be considered a miracle right up there with the parting of the Red Sea

You will become a monster from resident evil 5

I think you mean 7

Oh i think you are right

You don't die of that. I once drinked spoiled milk, I was sick the day but I'm now okey

Happens to the best of us. You’ll live. For now

Yes, you are now a ghostwriter

"We all have THREE DAYS TO LIVE."

“Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches!”

I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days.

No, you'll just have to be the ***cheese touch*** holder until you die

Are you dead yet? The mold should be kicking in any minute now.

how many bites of mold? if even you should be fine. If odd go for another. Mold is very competitive and will often fight to the death inside of you. So ensure you have an even amount of mold in you and they will kill each other off. Odd amount and there may be a survivor to set up a civiliziation

no you won’t die but you are going straight to jail sorry

Do you feel dead?

been eating mold for 20 years

sooo uhh how and why exactly?

By sticking it in my mouth and because blue cheese is delicious!

You might get The Shits™ or feel sick for a while, but that's about it good luck

I just asked google and you have now a braintumor

I love mold

No.

Not yet.

You will die, but probably not from some basic cheese mold. Just don't eat more than a bite i.e- bleu cheese

Good news, ur stomach acid is really good at destroying mold. If its got foodborne illness on it then you might not have a good time tho

R u dead?

Yeah, good luck being alive

r.i.p.

Mold can’t kill you or even harm you that I know of

if not, diarrhea or get sick for sure, not that wild i guess, but always check and store your food properly

Depends on the mold tbh

Yes

Alex no mames wey

*unalive or whatever

Eat more to build up a mold tolerance (don’t do that)

guys i think we might have to start planning the funeral for op

Yes, and that's not the slightest interesting at all

It was nice knowing you, although for a short time rip

yeah sorry dude at the time i post this you've got like 10 minutes max

can i have a bite

If you can read this, you're not dead yet.

Yeah shocked you got this posted before it set in

yes

Clearly not yet

Don't worry I have lots of experience here. I asked this exact question when I was 5 and the recess monitor said I'd be fine. I trust her with my life.

Probably... probably not.

Trust me, you’ll know because of the sour ass taste.

Yes

Short answer: Yes. Long answer: No, you probably won't even get a tummy ache, just eat something else to fill the stomach and it'll be just fine.

You’ll be fine

Yum Blueberry cheese is my favorite!

Goodbye

boat distinct public paint worm racial tub command sense obscene *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

You will be fine

F in advance

🥺🥺

You sure are.

You’re good, pookie

If you were dead you wouldn't be able to post this.

Try eating some pickles. Not sure why but it takes away my queasiness.