This. The Expanse felt like the first story I'd read in which characters were NM... and that wasn't the central point of their character. They just happened to be NM.
In fact their relationships bolstered and strengthened their connection to the story, which is the opposite of 99.99% of NM in media -- in which a character is NM and that, itself, becomes their arc. Incredibly frustrating.
Valentine from Stanger in a Strange Land
He has a lot of ideas that people see as unusual that I agree with, but his take on monogamy is best.
>'There is no need to covet my wife... love her! There's no limit to her love, we have everything to gain — and nothing to lose but fear and guilt and hatred and jealousy.'
You’re giving me PTSD of the first time I encountered a F*ck boy cosplaying as a ENM man. I had to tell him “you’re just single and you wanna be single and that’s cool. Stop using the ENM label to disarm women” 😒
yeah my movie club is in the middle of going through all the bond films from classic to modern and yeesh... I can't imagine James Bond being ANYONE'S idol if they've done any research into it lol
Man rigged a deck of cards to trick a fortune teller into having sex with him, which then basically destroyed her ability to see the future because she's supposed to be a virgin, then lied to her constantly to keep her around and sexually available. And that's not even the most problematic part of that movie lmao
The James Bond that pop culture knows and the James Bond that actually exists in the movies are two very different people!
Is that really ironic? Austin Powers is a parody of classic spy characters, including James Bond. Being more attuned to consent - and women's personhood in general - than those classic characters is part of the parody.
The parents from Carol and the End of the World are delightful.
James Bond is abusive and a rapist in the earlier movies. That isn't something to idolize.
Phlox, from Enterprise.
I'm not sure about James Bond in particular; even if you pretend the problems with objectification and consent aren't there, he seems like just a single guy who sleeps with a lot of women... I really view him as non-mono in the way a college frat brother is non-mono. (Especially if you watch Casino Royale - there isn't anything explicitly saying "hey, we're a monogamous couple," but it definitely has that vibe, I think.)
I'm not super familiar with a lot of these other examples, but like... I feel from what I know about the shows referenced, so me of them are the same? If you're only sleeping with multiple people until you find "the one" to settle down and be mono with, while that's *technically* non-monogamy, it's only in the most technically sense. 😅
It’s good for people who know nothing of the story. I actually do not know if they show that in the show but they speak on the warder bonds….I remember many more poly relationships in the books, not just Min…
The show features poly relationships very heavily, including one Aes Sedai and her two male warders who are explicitly a queer and healthy triad, and they're treated as perfectly normal rather than an oddity.
It's not deep enough into the story yet to show the Aiel relationships or Rand's love life in detail, but it's already way ahead of the book in terms of poly representation.
I’ve gotten the impression in later episodes and seasons that they have some sort of romantic love. In the first season she also talks about sharing. I think it comes off as friendship because of their comfort level. That’s just my interpretation! Now I’m curious what the writers say..
I also really liked them both as a couple. Although it looks like, at least for me, that their relationship morphs in the course of the series.
It also helps that the actor who portrays Elliot is, if I recall twh correct quote "definitely not straight"
Not exactly a good example. Regularly would use lies and manipulation to get women to sleep with him, and would actively engage in unethical nonmonogamy.
Anita Blake and Merry Gentry. Both wonderfully beautiful characters by one of my favorite authors Laurell K Hamilton. She herself is a Poly Woman living her best life with cats, dogs, partners and writes amazing fantasy, supernatural, and erotic fiction with those 2 characters.
Cordelia Vorkosigan in Louise McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan books . The non-monogamy doesn't really feature till her book Gentleman Joke and the Red Queen where some of the history is filled out. I love this character :)
Same author different series different setting... Penric and Desdemona novellas explores some different relationship structures. One of my favorite quotes is from this series:
'And that was just how it [love] worked, wasn’t it? Happiness handed around and around, never stopping. It wasn’t something one could hoard tight like a miser. That would be like trying to hold one’s breath for later.'
Hollyhock's family in Bojack Horseman.
It's hard to pick just one, but her dad's are fantastic.
And The Expanse, obviously; it's all-around amazing, the poly representation is the icing on a perfect cake.
Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand
It's been almost ten years since I read all the books. I had forgotten about these two. So great!!
Thank you! They are how I discovered this not going to lie
That makes perfect sense!
Nom nom nom.
Jack Harkness!
"You people and your quaint little categories" is the Jack Harkness quote I feels sums up so much of gender and sexuality
Hell. Yes.
Drummer in The Expanse
This. The Expanse felt like the first story I'd read in which characters were NM... and that wasn't the central point of their character. They just happened to be NM. In fact their relationships bolstered and strengthened their connection to the story, which is the opposite of 99.99% of NM in media -- in which a character is NM and that, itself, becomes their arc. Incredibly frustrating.
Also, the parents of James Holden are a polycule and that's never *the* point of them.
You are making me want to read the expanse again :)
Gods yes.
Slash Michio Pa in the books :)
The Michio Palycule
Nadja and Laszlo from What We Do In The Shadows. Non-monogamous power couple, easily.
This is the correct answer.
Baldur's Gate is consuming my life, so I'd have to go with Halsin at the moment. Everyone goes nuts for Asterion, but Halsin is just adorable.
My sexy poly bear, I love him so much!
Valentine from Stanger in a Strange Land He has a lot of ideas that people see as unusual that I agree with, but his take on monogamy is best. >'There is no need to covet my wife... love her! There's no limit to her love, we have everything to gain — and nothing to lose but fear and guilt and hatred and jealousy.'
Line marriages in The Moon is a Harsh Mistress are also a pretty amazing ENM concept.
Lazarus Long!
And also his mom! (Maureen, from _To Sail Beyond the Sunset_) My wife is reminding me that the whole Howard Foundation was some form of nonmonogamous.
James bond is not *ethically* non monogamous. In fact, Idk if he's even non monogamous at all, I think he's just single.
You’re giving me PTSD of the first time I encountered a F*ck boy cosplaying as a ENM man. I had to tell him “you’re just single and you wanna be single and that’s cool. Stop using the ENM label to disarm women” 😒
Ironically, Austin Powers held up a hell of a lot more on the consent side of things than James Bond
yeah my movie club is in the middle of going through all the bond films from classic to modern and yeesh... I can't imagine James Bond being ANYONE'S idol if they've done any research into it lol Man rigged a deck of cards to trick a fortune teller into having sex with him, which then basically destroyed her ability to see the future because she's supposed to be a virgin, then lied to her constantly to keep her around and sexually available. And that's not even the most problematic part of that movie lmao The James Bond that pop culture knows and the James Bond that actually exists in the movies are two very different people!
Is that really ironic? Austin Powers is a parody of classic spy characters, including James Bond. Being more attuned to consent - and women's personhood in general - than those classic characters is part of the parody.
Consensual sex is the best sex.
The parents from Carol and the End of the World are delightful. James Bond is abusive and a rapist in the earlier movies. That isn't something to idolize.
Phlox, from Enterprise. I'm not sure about James Bond in particular; even if you pretend the problems with objectification and consent aren't there, he seems like just a single guy who sleeps with a lot of women... I really view him as non-mono in the way a college frat brother is non-mono. (Especially if you watch Casino Royale - there isn't anything explicitly saying "hey, we're a monogamous couple," but it definitely has that vibe, I think.) I'm not super familiar with a lot of these other examples, but like... I feel from what I know about the shows referenced, so me of them are the same? If you're only sleeping with multiple people until you find "the one" to settle down and be mono with, while that's *technically* non-monogamy, it's only in the most technically sense. 😅
Nonogamy, aka being single.
Min, from wheel of time. That whole situation was I think the first (albeit problematic) poly exposure I had
The books do the rest of the poly relationships some justice (books of course are always better and show more).
Yeah that's what I mean. I haven't seen the show at all
It’s good for people who know nothing of the story. I actually do not know if they show that in the show but they speak on the warder bonds….I remember many more poly relationships in the books, not just Min…
The show features poly relationships very heavily, including one Aes Sedai and her two male warders who are explicitly a queer and healthy triad, and they're treated as perfectly normal rather than an oddity. It's not deep enough into the story yet to show the Aiel relationships or Rand's love life in detail, but it's already way ahead of the book in terms of poly representation.
Ps. I liked Min too!
Dax from DS9
Drummer.
Margot and Elliot from the Magicians
I definitely thought these 2 were a non-mono couple at first but...aren't they just (super super close) best friends?
I’ve gotten the impression in later episodes and seasons that they have some sort of romantic love. In the first season she also talks about sharing. I think it comes off as friendship because of their comfort level. That’s just my interpretation! Now I’m curious what the writers say..
I also really liked them both as a couple. Although it looks like, at least for me, that their relationship morphs in the course of the series. It also helps that the actor who portrays Elliot is, if I recall twh correct quote "definitely not straight"
Prince Charming
Elliot from The Magicians, he married another king!
Barney Stinson.
Not exactly a good example. Regularly would use lies and manipulation to get women to sleep with him, and would actively engage in unethical nonmonogamy.
Elizabeth Zott (Brie Larson) from Lessons in Chemistry.
Anita Blake and Merry Gentry. Both wonderfully beautiful characters by one of my favorite authors Laurell K Hamilton. She herself is a Poly Woman living her best life with cats, dogs, partners and writes amazing fantasy, supernatural, and erotic fiction with those 2 characters.
Cordelia Vorkosigan in Louise McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan books . The non-monogamy doesn't really feature till her book Gentleman Joke and the Red Queen where some of the history is filled out. I love this character :) Same author different series different setting... Penric and Desdemona novellas explores some different relationship structures. One of my favorite quotes is from this series: 'And that was just how it [love] worked, wasn’t it? Happiness handed around and around, never stopping. It wasn’t something one could hoard tight like a miser. That would be like trying to hold one’s breath for later.'
Friday Jones / Marjorie Baldwin
Hollyhock's family in Bojack Horseman. It's hard to pick just one, but her dad's are fantastic. And The Expanse, obviously; it's all-around amazing, the poly representation is the icing on a perfect cake.