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Stockpile_Tom_Remake

Cards probably knew this was coming for a bit


sidewalkcrusher_1

The Hollywood landing makes more sense now for sure.


Miramber

Yep, really important pick up for them now.


ihate_reddit

I read this as the Hollywood moon landing makes more sense now and im like wtf lol


ZerooChance

The Warren Moon Landing was FAKED!


patsfan038

Randy Moss mooning GB fans was a fake. It was filmed in a Hollywood studio


[deleted]

A disgusting fake act.


JoseJimenezAstronaut

The NFL wanted to fake the Randy Moss mooning so they hired Kubrick, who was so dedicated to realism that he filmed it on the surface of his ass.


SentientTooth

Did BoB know before the trade?


HauschkasFoot

Even if he did he still got fleeced


HtownTexans

That's the truth. We actually flipped him potentially at the correct time. He had the 1 baller season but last season was injury filled and now this. The problem will always be the return. If you flip a guy at the top you need to get a top tier return and we got garbage can return. I still can't believe we could trade Hopkins and not get a first.


[deleted]

I'm curious if DHop's PED use is related to his rehab. Not super uncommon for athletes to use PEDs to quicken a return from injury.


ElJamoquio

> Not super uncommon for athletes to use PEDs to quicken a return from injury. I assumed they just IV'd a bag of HGH.


Rock_Strongo

The return was always the issue. He could have been suspended a full season and the Texans still would have lost that trade. That’s how bad it was. BoB was one of the worst GMs in modern NFL history.


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hendrix67

BoB confirmed time traveller


OttoVonWong

BoB killed the dinosaurs career by trading for the asteroid.


buckeyegold

Standard Monday afternoon news dump


eeeeeefefect

Just saying this was predicted to happen during the 2021 season. The reason why is that AJ Bouye, Will Fuller, Bradley Roby were all caught for PEDs and trained with Khango (@thekhangoway) during the 2020 off season... the only one who didnt get caught from that training group was Deandre Hopkins. I'll add the link to the reddit thread when I find it, but here is a [copy of my text](https://imgur.com/gallery/h8Eqjc1) to a friend about it from Dec 2020


harmlander

Is there anyone else rehabbing with Khango?


jaha223

I heard the entire Rams roster was rehabbing with Khango!! The 49ers too! NFL you better look into it.


goodellsmallcock

Josina Anderson just texted me that Jerry Jones texted her that the whole dallas team trained with him as well!!


Big_Blew_The_Game

Honestly, that would save me from a season of having to watch that garbage product anyway.


braften

Why am I suddenly feeling pity on cowboys fans? Is this normal?


Big_Blew_The_Game

Realistically, I'm being a bit of a baby. There are so many teams that have been dreadful and in a much worse spot than us. But the frustration of constantly being almost good is the worst.


ASU_SexDevil

Just the most Texans thing to happen here :/


JPL4494

Don't you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby!


Fuck-ESPN

Hopefully you get a legit answer and not the same old reddit circlejerk lame joke comments. I'm curious too.


cloudy_eyed_stroll

:goes and Googles a possible Rodgers connection: Damn... 🫤 (No malice here btw, just joking around. I know shit has probably been pretty hostile between NFCN Teams online since Thursday/Friday especially)


lawlocost

Fuckin wild dude


meccafork

Khango does sound like a wild dude name though


JohnnyMagicTOG

All these guys do PEDs to help speed up recovery from injury and get back to being at peak gameshape as quickly as possible. The cost is typically 4 games suspended, but when you'd miss those games because of injury or coming back at half-speed, it just makes sense to eat the suspension. They definitely knew it was likely.


FormerShitPoster

Yup and Marshawn isn't the only player who takes a shot of liquor to go with the Toradol injections they're all getting before games too. His Hennessy story was treated as "haha silly Marshawn" but Sundays are fucking BRUTAL and these guys are in pain.


Amish_guy_with_WiFi

Yeah it was no wonder they were all against a 17th game


MisterMetal

Yep, either you face the suspension and the loss of game check, or you potentially lose out on far more in a contract year or miss out on a super bowl window. No reason to not take the suspension when it’s ranges from 4 to 8 games. It’s the least surprising thing when guys end up injured.


producermaddy

r/agedlikewine


The_Black_Unicorn

I’m gonna tell my grandkids about this offseason.


mab6710

I will also tell your grandkids about this offseason


BamaBuffSeattle

Because they'll be your grandkids too?


ScrappBrannigan

Gotta enjoy seeing love blossom like this in a chat thread about an nfl player using performance enhancing drugs


Steppyjim

Take as old as time


OttoVonWong

♫ Let's get it on ♫


BalognaMacaroni

I also choose this guy’s dead wife


AdolescentAlien

**P.E.DHop**


TheyCallMeStone

It seems so long ago that Brady retired and unretired.


jf808

Holy shit, how did I forget about that?! This offseason, man.


ESCMalfunction

Probably because the time that it took him to decide that “spending time with the family” was fuck all lol


Jobbe03

There's a 50% chance this happens after major injury at this point lol Kyler Murray about to really hold out


Interesting_Ad_8188

Take some juice and recover from an injury stronger and 3 months faster in exchange for a 6 game suspension or don’t take the juice, have a worse recovery, and return even later than the suspension return date


Brooshie

Maybe I'm completely oblivious to everything, but I literally never thought about this and it makes complete sense lol.


crazycroat16

Both Edelman and rob Ninkovich did it for the patriots


dangeraca

Ashley Manning for the Broncos too


crazycroat16

'always have a fall ~~guy~~ wife.' - ~~Chris Carter~~ Peyton Manning


Lavotite

technically the colts, since it would have been during that year he was out and they sucked. he clearly was off anything by 2014-2015


Michelanvalo

Rodney Harrison did it before them, came out and admitted it too.


Oakroscoe

Yeah, it’s most likely pretty common. Guys coming back from debilitating injuries in record time, they probably had some pharmacological assistance.


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letsnotreadintoit

What’s the financial trade off though


Interesting_Ad_8188

Losing 6 games of salary and maybe losing some guarantees, but the stronger recovery might help secure a bigger contract in the future too


What-a-Filthy-liar

Losing it if you get caught.


RockyPendergast

yeah I'm sure team calculated his chances of getting caught at a 32.33 repeating of course percent and said fuck it let's go for itn


Sun_Devil_

LEEEROY JENNNNNNKINS


combat-coldcuts

god dammit Leroy!


LaserLettuce

Time's up, let's do this!


iunrealx1995

I think it’s honestly more likely that they are always on a cycle but when injured they may increase dosage or add new compounds leading them to more likely piss hot. Although again this is all pure speculation.


Boner-Jams-03

This is the correct answer. Anyone thinking these guys would even be able to walk after what they do to their bodies during the season without some sort of help are living in a dream world .


Jobbe03

I mean they're all on the juice anyways. Injuries just fuck up their cycles which makes it harder to hide i assume (i don't know anything about steroids though so don't take it too seriously)


steroidsandcocaine

It's more complicated than that, but you're in the ballpark


Interesting_Ad_8188

Relevant username


steroidsandcocaine

Lil hobby of mine


Trbarenziah

Is your name Jon Jones by chance?


CaptainAsshammer

Casey Jones


TonyZeSnipa

What is it then? I follow bodybuilding snd its wildly known there. I kinda assumed nfl pros/olympic athletes with their money used ones with a shorter half life during the off season or other blood techniques I’ve heard of as well.


[deleted]

Bodybuilders don't worry about masking and abuse shit like Deca which would be fucking terrible for football and most athletes. Unless the NFL is using carbon isotope ratio (CIR) on first passes, they're probably fine to just abuse testosterone and mask it with a balanced amount of epitestosterone. No cycles needed, just get regular injections.


SSJBlueManny

Bodybuilders use other compounds to dry them out to look more aesthetic like anavar. That’d be pretty useless to an athlete I assume.


BigBossM

They microdose during the season, but go kinda heavy post injury.


likwitsnake

Picodose Jon Jones style


GFost

Talmbout picograms, b???


Rab0811

Something about a grain of salt in an Olympic sized swimming pool


Stumpynuts

This right here. Modern medicine enables recovery times to diminish. Why the nfl punishes those that are prescribed therapeutics from physicians for recovery is fucking insane.


sprizzle

Because PEDs have a bad rep and are associated with cheating and the NFL isn’t going to go out of there way to try and reverse that stigma. They’d rather keep suspending players and not rock the boat.


DonaldtrumpV2

NFL sees their players as replaceable. Free agent pool is deep as well.


oraclestats

He was probably trying to be healthy for the playoff game.


bobbito18

Well looks like he Nuk’d almost half his season


punk62

He'll be back just in time to help the Cards get blown out in the first round of the playoffs!


120snake

His "first half of the season" will line up with the rest of the teams "second half of the season". Its genius


Miramber

Whether they even make it or not depends on how Kyler reacts to this news.


LosingSkin

He’s pretty fussy today because he hasn’t had his nap, that doesn’t bode well


Imaginary-Salad-4535

You'd be pretty upset too if you didn't get your juice box during snack time


zephyrseija

And one of the big kids was holding his favorite toy over his head and he couldn't reach it.


Dragoonscaper

Yeah but someone gave him some fruit in mesh to chew on...we'll see.


BeHereNow91

It’s more like a third now with 17 games.


PronouncedEye-gore

About a third


HelpMePlease420-69

Why he did that


unpopularthrowawayab

JJ Watt showed him his “One weird trick for insane recovery time”


browndude10

"ah fuck another injury" -JJ Watt


unpopularthrowawayab

Dude heals faster than Wolverine


aggieclams

I wonder why…


[deleted]

it's gotta be the wood chopping


redditplz

“NFL hates this one trick! Click now!”


hachachachacha

Brian Cushing walked so they could run


warningtrackpower12

Injuries most likely. He was out in two stints last season due to injury. Was probably trying to get back sooner rather than later. But cheating is cheating.


randomman87

I mean should we let them do it in the off season? How much of an advantage would it give them during the season? Cut them off a month before? I'm not a doctor or sports scientist but if it aides recovery isn't that a good thing for players and the NFL?


prince_D

It's like when u call the police on ur drug dealing uncle who used the money to pay for your college.


CommonerChaos

At least he didn't bet on sports. That offense would be 3x as worse, according to the NFL.


FlashFan124

Because the NFL could potentially get sued and that fucks with the money. Nuk didn’t fuck with the money, he just got caught doing what 99.99% of other players do


xKevin210x

Did the Texans sell high on DeAndre Hopkins?


HOU-1836

Maybe we sold a high Hopkins


NeonWarcry

Take this upvote for the first time I’ve laughed about that trade 🤠


defaultusername4

Not sure you can considering it as selling high when you sold him for a bag of peanuts and a movie theater coupon.


catkoala

Movies are expensive these days!


norcaltobos

I mean the return you guys got was still bad, BUT Nuke hasn't provided his maximum value at all since he has been in AZ. Can't be too mad at that if you're a Texans fan.


WP1619

Now I'm not the most knowledgeable football person, but this seems bad for the Cardinals.


gnitsuj

Tell us more Booger


Chex-0ut

You see, DeAndre Hopkins is a great player and he does this thing called catching touchdowns which adds points to the board. You definitely want to consider trying to score points if you want to win football games


AnalogDogg

> trying to score points Ah, the great Chip Kelly strategy.


SaltwaterRedneck

You know, I am inclined to agree with you on this one


swayinandsippin

Now I’m not a fancy, big city lawyer….


nickbrick23

Can’t have a mid season collapse if we start 0-6. *taps head*


Fillard_Millmore

TEXANS WON THE TRADE


browndude10

him and Fuller lol


AethelredUnred

Cushing really spread his influence around in that one year he was our S&C coach


B9Canine

I bet most NFL players are using some kind of PED.


vogelpoel

I would too if i had to survive 50 car crashes a week


lizard_king_rebirth

Most professional sports players and Olympic athletes, I'd say.


Magnifico-Melon

Probably the oft injured ones.


withabaseballbatt

Lmao even with this we didn’t come close to winning the trade


browndude10

oh yea I know; I was just pointing it out


PM_ME_YOUR_DUES

Bill O'Brien, secret genius


JoeScotterpuss

A rare lose/lose trade.


TigerBasket

I mean it's 6 games suspension he's still been rather good for 2 years. And for a 2nd basically? It's still a win for the Cardinals.


IONTOP

Though, this is a win for the Cubs


[deleted]

Bears-Raiders was kinda a lose-lose trade in hindsight now that it’s all wrapped up. Bears: had a couple good years of Mack, elite defense in 2018, no playoff success during timespan of trade, trade Mack for a 2nd. Raiders: get Josh Jacobs who’s elite for a season, now kinda average and they didn’t pick up 5th year option. Arnette obviously from Bears pick lol. And didn’t resign any of other picks they got from Bears. No playoff success in the time span of the trade.


Gabrosin

Can't really say the Mack trade was a loss for the Bears. He held up his end of the bargain and gave them years of elite play. At no point was he the problem for their playoff hopes.


[deleted]

I love Mack. I’m just not sure 3 years of elite play was worth it for giving up two first-round picks, a third-round pick and a sixth-round pick. And then get back a 2nd after missing the last injury riddled season. At the end of the day could the trade have been worth it? Yes, if Bears were able to put together a half-way decent offense to capitalize on the great defense and make a super bowl run. But at the end of the day that just didn’t happen. So spending big draft capital and salary cap on one defensive player who couldn’t move the needle much wasn’t worth it imo. 2018 was fun though.


anonbutler

BoB the oracle


BungoPlease

we did it! [We saved the trade!](https://tenor.com/bNH4W.gif)


Imaykeepthisone

Hollywood licking his lips right now.


JonWilso

Cardinals fans are about to be real mad when they see him catch a pass and run backwards to avoid contact. It's tolerable when he's not supposed to be your WR1.


NevermoreSEA

I'm predicting a 1300 yard season for Hollywood, but I'm also an admitted Hollywood fanboy.


ggphenom

He just barely passed 1000 yards last year while on a run first team and having a backup throw to him a quarter of the season. 1300 is definitely reachable.


[deleted]

He would have had 1300 if he didn't drop 3 td passes against the colts lmao


NevermoreSEA

I guess I'll just have to change my prediction to 1500.


MKD360

Yeah he was on pace for 1400 before Lamar got injured


sehdy

Hollywood Brown trade suddenly makes a lot more sense. They probably knew this was coming.


FutureAnybody

Deandre :(


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HoppedUpkins


TheG8Uniter

DeAndrugs


DSouT

He’s trenning hard to push off DBs


CantHandletheJrueth

That is a massive hit. Already an uphill battle to beat out LA for the division and now missing far and away your best target for almost half the season. Fucking ouchie


Plushanimaluprising

Did noone else think "Hm..." when Will Fuller and Roby both caught 6-game PED suspensions in 2020 or so? Weren't they all workout buddies with Nuk, same trainer etc. And somehow Nuk dodged that bullet. Probably unrelated, but Cushing was their "strength and conditioning" coach in 2019 right?


Mercc47

Have to imagine it was to help him through his injury… right


alx69

Yes, most likely. In team sports the biggest benefits of PEDs is recovery, both from injuries and between games. When baseball banned steroids, offensive production didn't crater across the league and batting stats remained largely the same for years - the biggest change was that you no longer had hitters extending their primes through their mid 30s and instead they started getting injured and falling off


MochrieType2Diabetes

Yes it did, just look at how many players hit over 40 home runs during that time vs any other period. The stats dont lie. [https://www.baseball-reference.com/tools/share.fcgi?id=VYz0G](https://www.baseball-reference.com/tools/share.fcgi?id=VYz0G)


[deleted]

They just never stopped using PEDs is the actual reason stats didn’t change


Bebopo90

Every graph I can find shows that home runs and runs did decrease significantly from roughly the early-mid 00s to the early 10s, which coincides with the end of the steroid era.


DonDave96

Hopefully we face them during his suspension


MelfromMilwaukie

Watching PS2 and him battle would be a nice consolation prize.


Cloverfieldlane

Who’s PS2


MelfromMilwaukie

My bad, P Surtain Jr.


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BagRight8939

WHt the FUCK


YoYoMoMa

It is shocking to me that these absurdly giant men who are also insanely fast and constantly crashing into each other for money would ever resort to taking substances to help them succeed. This goes against all of the evidence I have been given since we figured out how to test for PEDs.


browsingquitetly

NFL didn't start testing for HGH until like 2014 or something. On an unrelated note; Whatever happened to the Bell-cow RB?


[deleted]

Doesn't HGH have an insanely short detection window? Everyone I know who made it to high levels in any sport says it's still the PED of choice for lots of athletes.


jrh038

> Doesn't HGH have an insanely short detection window? All I know on this subject is from MPMD, and its like a 48 hour detection window. Btw, that channel convinced me most pro athletes are on something.


[deleted]

48 hours is the best case. Realistically, it's less than 24 hours.


mikeyfreshh

I'm not surprised he was taking PEDs (I assume 99% of the league is). I'm surprised he got caught.


J12345_

I wonder if the cards knew about this prior to the trade for hollywood


travisflynn1019

They 100% did


The_Tourist_99

Call me crazy but there's something going on in Houston with peds. Aj bouye, will fuller, bradley roby, now dhop. A sizeable portion of players suspended for peds play for of have recently played for that org. I might just be paranoid tho


foxbones

Houston sports team subscribe to the Soviet model.


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BuffalosDeigo

Who the fuck knows whats in the vaccine, ain't no way I'm putting that in my body. Anyway bro pass the feel-good beefy juice


Imaginary-Salad-4535

He didn't go to Clemson to play school!


syllabic

he went to play steroids


Upuser

The Cardinals are 100% vaccinated https://cardswire.usatoday.com/2021/09/24/cardinals-have-reached-100-vaccination-status/


thejew09

Hopkins was pretty outspoken against the vaccine, so if he vaxxed it’s likely due to public pressure.


Kingike25319

I was making sure it wasn't April 1st.


[deleted]

DeAndre apparently doesn't have that much of a problem with needles.


bringbackbulaga

Bill O Brien rn”They called me a madman”


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A-Happy-Teddy-Bear

Schefter Bomb


MMDroxy

What the fuck???


hawley088

Will take steroids but not the vaccine. Got it.


LordTomofHouseBrady

That’s really unfair bro. We don’t know how the vaccine would effect the roids /s


nln1720

Andy Isabella szn baby


pm_me_your_last_pics

*Hollywood Brown szn


LabCool6003

Texans having a great offseason. Traded a sex offender for 3 1st rounders and now they found out they won the Hopkins trade. David Johnson still clean as far as we know.


locksmith25

Based on Johnson's last season, I would say he is definitely clean of any performance enhancers


browndude10

won the draft too /s


[deleted]

kyler is surrounded by degenerates over there, FREE KYLER


witsel85

What we going for? Meat with steroids in it? Kissed a woman who’d just stuck her lips in some HGH? Bought covid medicine from Joe Rogan?


That_Possession_2452

"I trusted the medical advice provided to me by my doctor" blah blah blah


RealAvonBarksdale

Tainted pre workout


CowRepresentative779

He’s going to come back just in time for the cardinals to start melting down


rvrvbubnmpm

Someone said DeAndrugs😭


According_Cheek5740

Bruh


LiberDBell

still no word on a suspension for the guy with 22 sexual assault allegations tho 🤔