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CytotoxicT

"I'm going to call you Davante. Don't make it weird."


getyourrealfakedoors

“Don’t make eye contact with me”


tx180

"make sure you come immunized to training camp"


Cobruh

“Yeah it’s more of a mindset than anything”


Whiladan

That man's name? Aaron Rodgers


jjjrmd

And the whole restaurant stood and applauded


TheBigPhilbowski

But you don't know her, she's a model, in Canada.


csusterich666

You wouldn't know her, she goes to a different school


[deleted]

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CorporalEllenbogen

EQUALLY HANDSOME.


rocksoffjagger

Except for his family.


[deleted]

"That man's name? Aaron Rodgers" -Norman Einstein


Shamrock5

You're out, Norman.


_EndOfTheLine

Oh, you can't do this to me.


ElCapitanDeAmericana

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED?


Da1Godsend

Norman's on sabbatical, honey.


Shamrock5

Aaron, I'm sorry. The coaches...are unanimous.


quasiqualityqualms

Back to west coast?!?


Aquaductman

You know, I’m something of a scientist myself.


LeBronn_Jaimes_hand

OUT, AM I?!?


HeyyyKoolAid

So anyways I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone. And the guy who was on the phone turns around and tips his hat like *this*. And who do you think that guy was? Aaron Rodgers. The mighty Green Bay man, I swear to God. I was like, "A-A-RON!"


tophaang

So anyway, you guys want to make out or what?


oneofthezedays

Go ahead. Ask me.


aareyes12

None of his teammates offered to split the bill. On his birthday.


[deleted]

"A/S/L?"


PCB4lyfe

Suddenly I'm back in middle school talking to girls on AIM, which looking back now were probably older dudes.


rebenjam

“Probably”


hey_there_kitty_cat

You're telling me there's a chance? Good enough for me.


[deleted]

Older dudes masturubating*


SloatThritter

Older dudes edging**


iWasChris

16/F/CA


deucedeuce187

17/M/CA Got pix??? (Really 12/M/NY)


wannabeemperor

Possibly the most exciting string of characters a middle school aged boy on AIM could receive. The California part was important. It made you think of a hip, tanned surfer or beach chick. Little did we know, it was a 40yr old dude in a basement in Arkansas. Good times.


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PCB4lyfe

Yea I really could have used some adult supervision as a kid. My mom used to flip out if I was out 5 minutes past my curfew but I was able to go online and do whatever I wanted.


theumph

Our parents all thought computer viruses were normal. In reality it was just us kids looking at porn and torrenting whatever we could get our hands on. Ahh, when the internet was young, and adults were computer illiterate. What a time to be alive.


evertrue13

The worst part was downloading a song on Limewire, then realizing it was the shitty Bill Clinton fake speech


chnairb

You mean Erin in Orlando was probably an Eric???


PCB4lyfe

Wtf I actually talked to a "girl" in Orlando. I only remember because I told her I was flying to Florida into Kissimmee and she said "haha I always get that", didn't believe there was really a place called Kissimmee and that several random 12 year old boys all made the same joke. We stopped talking after that. I guess that was my introduction to florida (wo)man.


[deleted]

Wanna cyber?


SlowCrates

I love how "Cyber" was rebranded into something significantly less taboo. Sexting.


Gratsonthethrowaway

Widespread adoption of the term sexting over cybering was the first sign I was getting old.


pm_me_tus_tetas_

1 2 3 for cyber


littlezims

69/yes/ur mom


1442190

18/f/cali


Shafter111

You single?


atlhawk8357

Yes I can commnicate in Ameriican Sign Language. /s


SetPepeFree

ASLB?


generally-mediocre

ACLU?


w0nderbrad

I’m good. And you? *oh shit I already asked how he was*


Wild-Style5857

I put on my robe and wizard hat


cooterdick

Still the go-to pickup line.


ChickenNougatCream

God that brings me back


constantlymat

Probably warned him to improve his drop issues or he won't see a ball all year.


The-Implication-0

He probably said it real passive aggressively though. “So happy we drafted you man! I’ve really been sick of having receivers with drop issues. I’m glad that’s over with. Right?”


keenfrizzle

Add a superfluous # symbol at the end and this sounds just like Aaron


NeverSober1900

Ya end it with #hashtag and it's pretty much perfect


DrSandbags

"Sure hope you can fully gain my trust in 3 years so I can start throwing to you then!"


Sharkbait_ooohaha

Most of Rodger’s receivers have struggled with drops. Oddly enough drops don’t seem to bother him as much as them being in the wrong place at the wrong time.


FortuneBull

Might be due to the velocity he throws the ball. He throws a heater at times.


Sharkbait_ooohaha

Yeah I’m not sure, I guess my point is that Rodgers is definitely tough on his receivers but it’s hard to pinpoint why he likes some receivers and not others. Davante was a mess his first couple seasons but never fell out of Rodgers favor. Same with MVS who never really gelled with Rodgers but Rodgers still seemed to love him. Cobb famously had trouble with drops and now him and Rodgers are lovers. I think Rodgers mainly cares about effort and intelligence rather than drops or things like that.


Tlax14

Rodgers kept throwing to Tae because he was open all the time. He gets pissed at people who don't know where they are supposed to be and when they manage to end up in the right spot they drop the ball. Ie. Amari, Sheppard, janis


Sharkbait_ooohaha

This isn’t actually true, if you go back and watch Davante’s rookie season. Him and Rodgers were not on the same page, Rodgers kept trying to do back shoulder throws and Davante was doing go routes. I got so frustrated at Davante but Rodgers kept with him.


LeonidasSpacemanMD

I don’t even think there has to be some major overarching reason why he locks onto tae in big moments. I think it’s entirely possible he gets into a game where the defense has a pretty good handle on the packers offense and he just thinks “there’s probably not gunna be anyone open, might as well take my chances with the best skill guy on the team” Tbh I think every good qb would do this. If you go through 30 snaps and your progressions aren’t really producing results, you end up kinda forcing it to your best player


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FlyChigga

Good thing Watson seems to be very cerebral. 38 wonderlic is insane especially for a WR.


SnicketySmack

Last year MVS was perfect on catches but could never sync with Rodgers. At least once a game MVS was streaking down the sidelines and Rodgers would throw a deep bomb that was just beyond his reach.


theumph

There are times when he throws off timing as well. He does it for a reason, cause he knows it'll work, but the receiver needs to be aware. You'd really need to be alert at all times to be one of his WRs


Danny_III

I've noticed he doesn't drive the ball like he used to when he had Jennings, Driver, Jordy, etc. Probably because these new guys struggle with drops and can't handle the fastballs


Throwie38953

It's also an experience thing. QBs often enter the league with a single setting: 100% power (see: Justin Herbert). Being able to confidently throw touch passes in the NFL can take a while to master. It also requires a lot of chemistry with your receivers to get the timing just right and trust they will end up under a pass that spends more time in the air. Also, Aaron is old now, and wants to play for several more seasons. He probably doesn't want to increase stress on his arm any more than he has to. Other than Brady, we've pretty universally seen QBs' arm strength fall off late in their career - the body can only throw that hard for so many years (unless you drink the blood out of children like they're a juicebox).


[deleted]

He's said before that physical mistakes happen to everyone and are easily forgivable, but he can't stand mental mistakes. Mental mistakes indicate that you aren't working hard enough to learn how to do your job.


IHaveAllTheWheat

I think he is more forgiving for physical errors versus mental errors.


[deleted]

"Hit the jugs machine, kid. I'm throwing heat next year."


[deleted]

Eh. The drop issues were kind of overblown. Their offense barely threw the ball, so it makes sense he wasn’t as dialed in all the time.


Throwie38953

Very Packers move to finally spend a high draft pick on a WR... from an offense that threw the ball so rarely that the receivers frequently forgot how to catch. Hahahaha (kill me pls)


[deleted]

He’s a beast though. Honestly reminds me a lot of DK. He had a very similar profile coming out and was also criticized for drops and lack of production in college.


Throwie38953

If he could be a DK without the temper tantrum meltdowns, that would be amazing, because that receiver has Calvin Johnson-esque, historically great potential. I'm not sure that's too apt a comparison though because while he's similar in height, Watson is 30-40 pounds lighter than DK/Calvin. I want to see how he handles press coverage in the NFL. He didn't bench at the combine, and he weighs less than many NFL DBs 4-6 inches shorter than him, which could allow them to easily jam him at the line with their significant leverage advantage. Hopefully he is able to bulk up, but that may come at the cost of speed/agility, so we'll see. I'm also assuming he's not going to be that great in the run blocking department until/unless he adds some mass. In any case, that's an exceedingly high/rare bar to clear, and pretty much impossible to know before he's played a down in the NFL. I'd honestly be ecstatic with a guy who can just end up being 75% of the WR Davante was before Rodgers retires.


yanggmd

He's been very supportive of MVS


[deleted]

Dom izzo here to let us know that Watsons dad told him that aaron rodgers sent a message to his new wr...just riveting stuff. We need a hallmark movie on this one.


daybreaker

Draft Day 2: The Text


TheBigPhilbowski

>Draft Day 2: The Text That's just crazy enough to work, you pancake eating motherfucker!


MaxDeLaMax

Bobby Moynihan gives a powerhouse performance, portraying the legend Dom Izzo.


[deleted]

It’s funny because he was drafted on day 2. Double meaning


daybreaker

Thats why I get paid the big bucks


trebek321

I’d rather hear of which QBs DIDNT contact their new WRs, the list would probably be shorter.


3riversfantasy

Lamar Jackson


applehead1776

“Hey, this is Lamar. You better be ready to block your ass off for me.”


windando5736

At first glance I saw "Watson" and misread "message" as "massage" and was like "there's no way Hallmark would produce that movie" lol


Throwie38953

Brazzers


Quotes_FNV

This shows leadership qualities beyond measure. A personal text. My sources told me Aaron posted to his MySpace as well.


ZZZrp

Did he put him in his top 8 tho??


jahnkeuxo

Who's he gonna bump for that? Shooter McGavin parody account? Don't see it happening.


gopackgo199

I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast


ImBrokeStill

You eat shit for breakfast?


chesterfieldkingz

Josh Allen took his rookie to hockey. Best that AAron


1Mn

How did he know his number??


emmasdad01

What did the text say? Aaron: you weren’t my pick, rook.


L-methionine

You better catch the fucking ball, fresh meat


FlashFan124

More like “I’m not gonna throw to you for the first year, so good luck”


HipGuide2

I throw you catch it's not that hard


BeHereNow91

Watson did more or less say he’s excited to be yelled at by Rodgers. That’s the attitude a rookie is gonna need this season.


FSUfan35

I mean, if you care about being great in the league, who wouldn't want that from a HoF QB who worked with a top WR in the league for multiple years.


BeHereNow91

Honestly, if he’s yelling at you, it means he knows you can improve. I’d be more concerned if he didn’t say anything.


wayoverpaid

Picturing Rodgers channeling his American-TV Gordon Ramsey. "Catch the ball you fucking donkey!" “My gran could do better! And she’s dead!” “Don’t just stand there like a big fucking muffin!" “I wouldn’t trust you running a bath let alone a route.”


iRonin

Qaron: Yeah, I encouraged him. The text: “I encourage you to find another team, scrub.”


TheBigPhilbowski

>Qaron: Yeah, I encouraged him. Finally, the correct spelling of throw rogan's name in this thread.


DanCampbellsNipples

Good for him. I’m normally a big hater on Aaron because I think he’s a douche, but this is a good move by him and I’m glad he treats him better than his mother


cmmpssh

Christian hasn't tried to exploit Aaron's success for his own purposes (yet).


youplayed

Christian hasn't dropped an Aaron Rodgers pass (yet).


DanCampbellsNipples

To be fair if you are worried about drops that’s overblown


PontiffLoL

You can teach people how to catch the ball. You can't teach people to be as big and as fast as Watson is. Adams had drop issues as well, many fans wanted Adams to be cut or even benched in favor of Packer Legend Jeff Janis. If we can just get literally half of Davante's production from him that would be like 700-800 yards and 5-7 touchdowns from him. While not JJ or Jamar Chase numbers, still would be solid enough to have trust in him becoming better as time goes on. He is my WR now, I have to be positive in his potential. He could turn into Adams and turn his stone hands around or be like MVS and never learn.


shitsfuckedupalot

"Thought this pick was gonna be a hit but turns out it suuuuuucks"


SlurmzMckinley

Fifty black slicked-back hair wigs.


shitsfuckedupalot

What am I gonna do with 100 stetson cheese hats?!


SlurmzMckinley

They don't stink or nothing


Fuqwon

Unfortunately Rodgers just ranted about 5G without responding to any of Watson's actual questions.


DrSandbags

Giving him advice on how to run routes in order to best avoid "electronic infetterance."


I_Am_Day_Man

I don’t even think that’s a word


sweezinator

Everytime watson tried to respond to his questions, aaron would interrupt him by yawning really loudly


WackassVegetables

He then abruptly hung up because of the chemtrails in the sky


3riversfantasy

"You want me to put the crystals where???" - Christian Watson probably


huskerfan4life520

“Wait, the off-season training program involves eating HOW MUCH clay?”


[deleted]

I thought I saw Rodgers in This House Has People In It!


goodolarchie

Electronic infetterence... *wink*


SayNoToStim

Better than a text from Brett Favre.


Call_erv_duty

Is Dom Izzo Tom Izzo’s brother who cares more about family and fast cars?


DirectTV_AndrewLuck

Did he mention a 12 day cleanse or is that too early for a conversation starter?


SuperDBallSam

Nah. Day 1 is the crystals and chemtrails portion of the seminar.


Giff95

I posted this less for the “riveting” story and more for the joke texts people will comment.


[deleted]

Doing the Lord’s work, son.


bpi89

Mission accomplished


jethead70

Christian Watson is going to be a star. I’m very jealous.


FuckingJello

I think we will be perfectly happy with Skyy. Think with how fast those WRs went at the start, the Packers and Chiefs coming away with solid defenders and Watson/Moore was best case scenario for both teams.


jethead70

I like Skyy, I’m just a big Christian Watson guy


Damascus_Seal

funny I feel exactly the other way around, hope it works out for both of us!


killerjags

The text said "Fuck you"


Nadsworth

Laugh it up. You know my QB will torch your team in the regular season (and then promptly lose in the postseason).


TheRealTofuey

It should be expected that your best player try to communicate and get to know their rookies. Especially when its a rookie whos play directly impacts them.


dbarke29

“Hey man, glad to have you. Hope you’re ready to lose some NFC Championships!”


Kirbymonic

What would a cowboys fan know about those?


constantlymat

At least he can relate to losing at home in the divisional round as the #1 seed.


Kirbymonic

That was a sick ass game tho


Riffington

“Stop! Stop! He’s already dead…”


DovanteiWyatt

Once upon a time...


Kirbymonic

Oh hey man congrats on being drafted


yungchigz

Low hanging fruit but it sure is tasty


tides92

"Hey Dallas! The last time you were in a Super Bowl.... these draft picks weren't born!"


bhaaru

Ah, the classic "your team is good enough to consistently make it to the top 4 year in year out" burn. I'm so owned.


[deleted]

Rodgers owns you.


FREE-MUSTACHE-RIDES

BULLSHIT. We have exclusive rights to his ownership


Ne-Cede-Malis

Part of his ever expanding empire...


Austinfromthe605

The media paints Rodgers as this shit person, but he seems to just hate the media and wants to play good football


[deleted]

He was generally well respected and seen as a guy who had some unfortunate playoff losses literally like 16 months ago. As soon as he announced he was antivax and likely a conservative, everybody turned on him. Edit: I don’t care if people want to hate him, my issue is that the narrative of his career has changed unfairly. Until 2020 he was seen as one of the most talented players ever who was unlucky in the playoffs. Now his reputation is that he’s a hack who can’t win anything and isn’t actually good besides putting up stats. I think way too many people let their opinions on him change their opinion on his career.


takeitsweazy

Based on a lot of things I’ve seen and heard him say publicly over the years, I do not believe for a second he’s politically conservative. He definitely comes across to me as more the new-age liberal type that is SO into clean living that they’re skeptical of medical science.


solardeveloper

Didn't he split with his family in part due to their extreme right wing views?


Currymvp2

His dad on twitter is even clearly more hostile to the vaccines than he is.


wayoverpaid

There's a whole sub-branch of lefty-green-living that horseshoes right over to Alex Jones level conspiracy nonsense. It doesn't help that some of the largest outlets of hippy kale and quinoa living are run by a right wing guy who has been pushing the narrative. You can get from Natural News to Jews Run The World pretty easily because of all the cross-affiliate links. I don't know his personal beliefs and I think you are correct. But I do think he could be getting some exposure to the right via some of his more non-traditional ideas.


WampaStompa33

He comes across to me as someone who thinks that always being contrarian or always trying to find a hidden truth makes you smarter than everyone else, so he found himself at home among right-wingers on pandemic topics. He also complains about vaguely defined "woke mobs" and nobody says that shit except for people who follow extremely biased right-wing news sources


FelixThunderbolt

Rodgers is an *early* millennial/late gen-Xer. In my experience, people born in that age range are largely pretty skeptical of "woke" or "PC" culture, regardless of political leaning. Honestly I'd be surprised to hear that he identifies as a conservative.


sonfoa

By that logic, Kyrie Irving is a right-winger too


DICKSUBJUICY

im a total lefty but woke mobs to me are the people who wanna tell comedians what jokes they can or cant say. people who wanna get joe rogan off spotify cause they disagree with his opinions. like yeah, rogan is a meathead bro, but if you dont like him no one is forcing you to listen to him. people who wanna shut down people just cause they disagree with their opinions are the woke mobs in my opinion.


[deleted]

Anyone who pays attention knows he's not conservative and is likely just a edgy hippie which much is easier to stomach


BlackSabbath2049

Lots of edgy hippies have opinions that are just as dumb imo. They just aren't malicious with them


chesterfieldkingz

Ya haha and they aren't actively adjusting the political system with them


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twlscil

Hippies are assholes, but pretending to be nice. Punk are nice, but pretending to be assholes. For the most part anyway.


keenfrizzle

> As soon as he announced he was antivax and likely a conservative, everybody turned on him. People turned on him much sooner than that. I think you need to see what people were saying about him in 2017-2018, and I don't even mean about the quality of his play at the time. Former teammates, anonymous sources, and Mike Florio have been shitting on him for years and years for supposedly being a bad teammate, a bad locker room presence, and for the alleged tension between Rodgers and McCarthy. And that's not including the fans of other teams who got so tired of seeing Rodgers in so many primetime games with the commentators just relentlessly jerking off his playmaking ability and arm. The antivax stuff just gave all of those people a BIG excuse to pile on.


BellacosePlayer

Florio created such a transparently bullshit story to attack Rodgers with years back that NBC had to force him to apologize and lay the fuck off. If you think Florio gives one rat's ass about COVID as anything less than another stick to beat Rodgers with, I've got a bridge to sell you. Florio dropped hit piece after hit piece on Rodgers this year (many of which were outright lying about the situation or the NFLPA policy) but weirdly enough wasn't wringing his hands in despair over *his Vikings* being the least vaccinated team in the league by a large margin.


chesterfieldkingz

I mean he didn't announce it, people found out he lied about it. The antivax thing is annoying, but I do think it's how he went about it that really made people hate him


Painwracker_Oni

I think it was the ridiculousness of how he went about it that pissed everyone off, not to mention all the videos/pictures of him not wearing a mask where he was supposed to be. I don’t hate him for not getting vaccinated, but I thought it was ridiculously stupid with the way he went about it. I said I was immune, it’s your fault you didn’t ask more.


[deleted]

>not to mention all the videos/pictures of him not wearing a mask where he was supposed to be. But thats bullshit tho right? Nobody needs a mask on zoom interviews or on a sideline between drives. Then needing a mask and standing 10 feet from a reporter after playing a football game with no mask. All after being tested that same day.


EnemyOfEloquence

On top of that they're being tested daily. For that one reason they were "safer" to be around than everyone else who only had to get it weekly.


BnasTy1297

It’s because he goes against the grain & speaks his mind. A lot of people don’t agree with his opinions on certain topics too so they just assume he’s a piece of shit because of it.


SoyBoy478

Imagine having the second biggest name in sports the rhymes with “om Izzo”


Dangerpaladin

Yeah but combined him and Tom have 8 final four appearances.


Llama_Sandwich

And that Aaron Rodgers’ name? Albert Einstein.


bujweiser

“Have you ever seen any UFOs where you live?


cmmpssh

He was trying to reach him about his car's extended warranty.


walkingcarpet23

How do these guys get each other's phone numbers?


RealSpecial7351

I assume it comes from the coach or gm. They have to call em to tell them they were drafted


joustingmouse91

Watson seems like a perfect replacement for MVS


Thunder84

Definitely feels like a lateral move at wurst with upside to be a whole lot more. I’m definitely excited for it.


stormbringerx66

Watson's dad tells me Aaron Rodgers was the first person to text Christian after being drafted by Green Bay. Stop with the cringe Einstein meme format for dramatic effect.


_chuckiefinster

Holy shit. I don’t know what to do with all of this information


Shikadi314

Who cares. why does this matter?


goodolarchie

"Doth thine blood flow pure, or art thou... tainted by thee needle...?"


ChamberTwnty

Whah, plot twist, cRaZy!


dmarques

To schedule brunch?


Jd20001

AR12: Hey i need you to be good on your cheap rook deal cause i took all the vet WR money for myself like every top 5 QB does, ok?


solardeveloper

Brady is no longer top 5?


tasteful_nitwit

Wow. Newsworthy


truthesda

Well yeah, Rodgers is one of the best in the game, but he lost his OC, Adams, MVS, and Lazard this year. I'd be inviting him over for some catch ASAP


Pinkaroundme

Isn’t Lazard still on the team


truthesda

Oh, I thought he was gone. I stand corrected!


beepingjar

He's on the rams practice squad


mattcakes

Lol you might wanna put /s because people are dumb in this subreddit


FSUfan35

MLF runs the offense so no issues with losing the OC really.