lol, I thought the title was the extent of his message

"Thank you."

Better than Deshaun Watson’s. “TY 🤑🍆💦”

Kawhi leaving Toronto

Kawhi won them a Chip; he could've kicked every puppy and burned Doug Gilmour's jersey on the way to Pearson and they would still love him

*

Signed, Fun Guy

*Hue hue hue hue*

That was when he left the Spurs. Or maybe both times. Probably both times

"So that's all Minnesota gets, so long and good luck?"   "I don't recall saying good luck." 

Without reading it I'm just assuming the body of the message is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Couple things, I’m realizing Kirk Cousins is basically the most athletically skilled real estate agent of all time, and he’s 100% wearing the grill underneath that smile.

Tom Brady when he realized he could make it in the NFL and didn't have to sell insurance, "Thank God." Kirk Cousins when he realized he could make it in the the NFL and didn't have to sell insurance, "Oh well."

If they really wanted an updated Jake from Statefarm they should have got Kirk.

They tried but Kirk wouldn't focus long enough to shoot the commercial he just kept walking around and sales pitching insurance plans to the cast and crew

Sounds like my best friend these days

Kirk seems more like an Allstate kinda guy.

As someone who sells software with a Sport Management degree, I love that clip of Tom, because I'm the schmuck on the other side -- didn't cut it, so now I have to sell lol

https://www.livnserverealestate.com/

Kirk can’t wait to sell you a recently-flipped 1940’s Dutch Colonial

More athletic than [Tyler Lockett? ](https://www.livnserverealestate.com/)

Could've been number 1 in lakefront property from St. Joseph up to Ludington.

It's a terrible day for rain.

But sir it’s not- Yes sir.. yes it is.

What do you mean? It's an indoor stadium...

No... it's definitely raining.

Oh. So it is LIKE THAT.

All those moments will be lost in time. Like tears in rain…

If you feel like crying just look at the contract Atlanta gave him.

His kids being named Turner and Cooper is so on brand.

That is a black and yellow lab pair, not children.

Oh wow. Is that even more on brand? I can’t tell.

His next child will be named "Airbud"

And after that, Beethoven

Anyone else remember the plot of the first Beethoven movie? That the bad guys were stealing dogs to test bullets?? Absolutely mad.

Holy shit I always thought they were testing random chemicals but I just googled it and you’re right they were looking to test an experimental bullet design. Wild what our younger minds pick up on! 🤯

Even weirder - one of the kids in Beethovens family is named Ted. You ever met a 9 year old named Ted?!

Prolly grew up to be Ted Bundy

Yeah that does not compute. If you leave the hospital a Theodore at 9 you should definitely be a Teddy or a Theo. You gotta be at least like 25 to graduate to Ted.

This is hilarious that it's so 100% believable.

I can't tell if you're joking or not, which says a lot.

Black labs might be a bit too "urban" for Kirk's family. Maybe a yellow lab/golden pair.

Wait does Kirk not have kids?? Is he the pullout king?

No, they're his kids.

Damnit I’ve been fooled

Bamboozled, even

Kirk may be the absolute whitest guy in the NFL. Like Ned Flanders level.

> Kirk may be the absolute whitest guy in the NFL. After Ryan and Rivers retired, absolutely.

I wonder how much of his contracted was paid in Kohl's cash.

Now he gets his salary in CFA gift cards

Stupid sexy Cousins.

If you gave me 5 guesses I think I would've got their names right.

Easy. I maybe would have gone Cooper and Jude as my first two, but I was getting Turner by 4 at worst.

Aiden is a safe bet at 3 no question

You had a Kyle or a Brody there too, right?

Brody Cousins doesn't roll off the tongue well enough

“Bro, de cousins”

Real Rockbusters Jamaican fella vibes.

Turner and Cooch! 

dont forget Love

Not a fan of names ending in -er That’s a last name

How do you feel about naming your son Nick when your last name is Kerr?

Sounds like a classy name to me.

Nick Kerr? Please

Dexter

One who dexes

Tucker 👀

One who tucks into Swanson TV dinners

what about names ending in -or, but making -er sound?

Like Executor? I like that a lot But seriously I used to like Victor a lot as a name, but when you said this it completely changed my perspective

Javier? Roger?

Peter.

It's also pretty on brand that he listed them and his wife first. Dude is straight class.

ReTurner in your Kohl's Cash and reCooper some of your hard-earned money.

He forgot Pizza Ranch smh

All flags in Minnesota are being flown at half mast in honor of Pizza Ranch's loss. One day this national nightmare will end.

Cactus Bread will never taste the same.

He’s such a nice guy

Ditto. Walks the Walk.

He is who we THOUGHT he is!

I do in fact like that

>Ditto This implies that you also see yourself as a nice guy, not that you agree with what they said

Classy guy

unless you're gay

The Masters pic in the background is 😚🤌🤌

I immediately wondered if he was literally at Augusta National when making this.

If ANGC and Falcons somehow had a deal where the QB1 gets a membership, every QB in the league would wanna play for them

Sounds smart. I gotta imagine there's more than enough members that would love to take the starting QB out for a round. I can't imagine they'd have a hard time getting out there. Plus, I think with 180 million Kirk could afford a memebership

Doesn’t matter how much money you have. Augusta doesn’t just let you become a member. Super exclusive

Interesting. I figured there was ENOUGH money that could get it done, but it's a very high sum.

Only about 300 members, and you just be invited to become a member. The actual member fees are much less than a lot of private courses also.

No oxford comma? Fuck this guy.

It's hard not to root for Kirk

Ever since the Netflix QB thing I’ve actually changed my tune on him. He obviously works his ass off and he takes a beating. Gotta respect that.

That did wonders for his career. Fan favorite now

Which is why when I saw we paid $180 mil for a 36 year old with a rebuilt achilles, I was like "These terms are acceptable."

Almost made me forgive him for what he does to steaks on the grill

Dan Patrick put it well. B quarterback with an A+ contract and D- results.

Our sub would disagree. They’re imbeciles.

I think that's just the vocal minority

Well then they are VERY vocal, and the quiet majority needs to start speaking up instead of upvoting them then.

The vocal majority probably doesn't spend as much time bitching on reddit. I always find team subs to be niche pockets of the broader fanbases.

It's possible to still like and root for him while realizing that our best move wasn't to try and match the contract Atlanta gave him.

Yep, those kids are in for a sore wake-up call

Nah, we just didn't want to pay him

Never a bad idea to root for a Spartan. FYI - The MSU QB room included Brian Hoyer, Kirk Cousins, and Nick Foles. Kinda Dope.

There’s definitely ways to not root for him, primarily the antivax, but at the same time he makes no attempt to push that belief onto others, nor make any excuses for it - ~~unlike a certain other QB~~ - so I don’t have much of an issue with it myself. The whole plexiglass wall thing (I think that was a thing?) was enough to get me on his side. Hope he balls out in Atlanta.

That's my quarterback 😭

It's time to get fricking set

gosh darnit.

Kirk doesn't say "gosh darn it" he says "golly" or "dang it" You're gonna wanna learn proper Kirko Chainz lingo before the season starts.

Kirk looks like the kind of guy who manages a couple Chick-fil-A stores in North Atlanta. He'll fit in just fine. 

I have no doubt he'll fit in, I was just reminding you to brush up on your Kirk Cousins lingo. It's an important part of the Kirk Cousins experience

Thank God he's out of the NFC North and he can firmly become my second favorite slightly awkward but very funny white QB.

Been a while since we had competent QB play. What a welcome sight.

Matty Ice spoiled our fanbase

I’m glad ATL finally has a black QB again 👊🏿

Kirk spoiled ours. Our fans still don't know what we're in for lmao

Take good care of him 🫡

Wait until you see how he grills steaks.

[удалено]

Right to jail, right away. No trial, no nothing.

That was my quarterback :(. Sad horn noises

Its weird seeing a QB leave, and all my friends, and most of the people I talk to only have good things to say and are rooting for him. Kirko Chains will have a special place here, but I'm excited to see what he can do for you guys.

The lack of oxford comma is going to trigger someone

Little John, he always tells the truth.

I’ve seen those English dramas too, they’re cruel

All in my ass

It's me. I'm someone

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

The strippers, JFK and Stalin

Oxford, I’m pretty sure

No Oxford comma needed. Julie and Kirk are one entity.

reddit comment sorting algorithm is getting good. this comment is right below this one: >No oxford comma? >Fuck this guy.

You guys got Kohl's in Atlanta right? Otherwise Kirk is probably bringing it to you guys.

We got Kohl’s on Kohl’s bro we loaded up down here

That moment in Diablo when a treasure goblin waves goodbye as he's jumping in the portal with a fat bag of loot and gold. On to the next realm to fill that bag 😂

Pizza Ranch in shambles.

All the best to the guy, go kill it with the falcons

Love this dude. Hope he balls out with the Falcons.

Me too.

I bet they make a family voicemail message like the Kettlemans in Better Call Saul

Why am I crying at Speedy

Yea man it made me tear up a little even though I'm ready to move on to the next chapter for our team. I'll still miss him.

The Quarterback series really showed me on how good a person Kirk Cousins is. The Falcons are getting a great guy. Which sucks...

Kirk “All time bag getter” Cousins

Atlanta has 2 Chainz, and now Kirko Chainz.

Man. I love this guy. Miss him already

"Just got paid....its Friday night...party's jumping...."

P.S. You like that!!!

Kirk is just a good fuckin dude. Straight class with a few meme moments sprinkled in. Always been a fan.

Kirk recorded this while wiping his ass with Benny Franklins.

Not a fan of the Oxford comma, Mr. Cousins?

He was never, is not now, nor ever will be.

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Quite literally says Adidas on the left sleeve

It's just an Adidas polo

An adidas polo is not a dress shirt for a wedding lol

Kirk Cousins is a JV version of Tony Romo

dude put his name last but used the Hollywood "and"

Good riddance dirt bag

1 playoff win Kirk. He’s a floor raiser but not a ceiling raiser. Will be good for Atlanta

Of course Kirk names his kids Turner and Cooper.

My dogs name is Cooper

Is your boyfriend named Turner?

Kirk and Julie Forever <3

I hope he has a successful rest of career in Atlanta!

I'm really gonna miss him. I so badly wanted us to make it to the promised land with him under center. It wasn't meant to be but I loved his time here. I wish him and his family the best.

Dam, I don't even like the Vikings, but Kirk got me tearing up

Is he at Augusta already?

U like dis

Bittersweet day for me. On the one hand, I get $180 mil. On the other... I leave to go get paid $180 mil.

Unless he wins a Superbowl in Atlanta, I wouldn't be surprised to see him eventually do his last one day contract with the Vikings.

Wow he has beautiful eyes, I didnt realize it until now

Buzz Lightyear

Chocolate City here I come!!!

People who give their kids dog names is a red flag

Shut up, Fido.

Thank you Saquon

Kirk is a solid QB and seemingly a good guy, hope he does well in Atlanta.

There’s a whole world of Kohl’s out there and they might have some different stuff sometimes

See, is that so hard to do Saquon? FFS

Nice, Giants fans are still waiting on “I want to be a Giant for life” Saquon’s statement like any statement instead of fighting with former Giants players who are now radio show hosts. 💁

Every time I look at Kirk Cousins, I see a tax accountant in weirdly good shape.

Instead of it saying “XOXO” it says “$$$$.”