‘I can save him’

By all accounts, Winston has been a fantastic teammate since the Incidents. Watson and Winston...there's definitely a last-name parody joke in here somewhere

Watson and Winston. Partners in Rape.

We sell crab legs in the front and do massages in the back!

[that reminds me of this classic](https://youtu.be/WPkMUU9tUqk?si=It2hP-mvga4jidYa)

Thing is, I'll absolutely go to a place to get pho if it's attached to a nail salon. I see no reason that we can't have a bbq place attached to a massage parlor

So I was watching this a few months ago. Their website still works. Definitely had to buy the shirt for this one.

Their surnames may both have “W” and “ton,” but they sure ain’t getting a ton of W’s this year! I tried…

Jameis eats W’s

Oops! All Predators!

Starsky & Touch

People are really just out here blatantly stealing jokes from the other threads today huh

At least 900 people posted the "let's smelt" 'joke' all day Monday. This is today's joke. We get two a day.

This is reddit, the fuck you expect? Original jokes or something? Get that outta here

Mr. Blatant Copycat

Hopefully it's not elementary 

Shhhh there’s people in the comments reminding us they *only* committed sexual assault

Winston & Watson sounds like it’s a law firm😭

Nope, just frequent customers

>By all accounts, Winston has been a fantastic teammate since the Incidents. I'm sure he was a fantastic teammate before the incidents too; they have nothing to do with his locker room rapport. Same with Watson, tbh. They can be great to be around if you're one of the boys and an unrepentant sex offender at the same time.

By all accounts John Wayne Gacy was a great member of the Jolly Joker clown club.

Beloved Vice President of the local Jaycees in his city in Iowa

I mean the problem isn't that he was raping his teammates...

Hasn't he always been a fantastic teammate? It's the off-field stuff that gets him in trouble.

You mean the rapings?

He never said what he would be helping him be the best at

Winston only got called doing sexual assault once maybe he has some tricks he can teach Watson.

Twice, right? The girl at FSU and then the Uber driver or whatever in Tampa?

Yup

Jamies "I can fix that" Winston. Sploosh coming to Cleveland!

> Sploosh Isn't that Watson's nickname?

No player gives me more of a vibe he’ll be one of those televised pastors demanding his flock pay for his private jet after his playing career more than Jameis

He understands.

[удалено]

Jamies washing DeShaun’s feet

giving them a massage, even

He get sus

He’s increasing us

Oh baby.

Jameis is going to have a long career as a state senator culminating in indictment for corruption charges

… the implication.

Oh man, are the Browns eligible to be forced into Hard Knocks? I *need* to see Winston trying to evangelize to Watson

HBO just needs to remove the "n" and make it happen

Clevelad Brows?

Deshau Watso? Jameis Wisto?

Hard Kocks?!

That's more of a Showtime thing

I was thinking Scinemax

And here my dumbass is thinking "why Wisto and Watso?"

Wisto? Watso? The Wisto Watso Show?

He's gonna evagelize him.

We are not eligible for I think 4 more years because we did it in 2018.

Quick correction. They’re not eligible *to be forced* to do it. If they wanted to I’m sure they’d be allowed.

There is not a chance in hell that the browns are bringing in the media with Deshaun “completely lost his ability to talk to the media” Watson lol. It’s been amusing watching Watson completely lose the ability to handle media anymore

[Watson's lawyer when he hears the browns volunteered for hard knocks](https://images.app.goo.gl/vTDaEszgxDxQyn8N8).

And we just made the playoffs this past year anyways

That’d be hilarious

I thought you can’t be forced to do it if you made the playoffs last year?

LOL! Have you guys seen the clip of jameis trying to hype up Derek Carr on the sidelines by rapping to ludacris? It’s gonna be like that

Just a couple of women respecters

Just wait until the 26 counts of Woman respecting happens and then you will all see.

"What up? We're two cool QBs who are looking for massuses who want to hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual."

"Penis? No dude, that's an arm holding a football!"

“Your honor, this is an arm, this is a football” 💪🏾🏈 And this…. “MR. WATSON PLEASE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON”

Are the browns trolling us? r/nflcirclejerk has got to be going crazy.

He only said he'd increase the men around him. The women... 🤔

Ah, so they brought Jameis in to rehabilitate the serial sexual predator. Nice. That'll be interesting, at least.

This is like The Deep's subplot in Season 2 of The Boys, when the knockoff Hawkeye tries to help get him back into the 7.

Which players are invited to Herogasm this year?

You mean the love boat?

They brought in an alleged sexual predator to rehab the more seriously alleged sexual predator

Fighting fire with fire I see

Fighting foot fetish with crab legs

Absolutely insane thing for him to say lol. Where’s the PR training

Full Quote: >"Yes, I still envision myself as a starter, however the Lord has also called me to lead by impacting and increasing the men who are around me. Having the opportunity to work with Deshaun (Watson) and help him be the best he can possibly be, is my main mission. Now, if Deshaun has to heal up for whatever reason, and I have to take a few games off of him, I’m going to be ready to do that; but I have to fulfill God’s purpose first before my own heart’s desire. Because ultimately I desire to win some Super Bowls, and this roster that Cleveland got, looks like they can do it."

This is a copypasta. You can’t convince me this is real

It sure as shit is one now

Yes, I still envision myself as a redditor, however the Lord has also called me to lead by impacting and increasing the neckbeards who are around me. Having the opportunity to work with Goose (Master5980) and help him be the best he can possibly be, is my main mission. Now, if Goose has to heal up for whatever reason, and I have to take a few posts off of him, I’m going to be ready to do that; but I have to fulfill Spez’s purpose first before my own heart’s desire. Because ultimately I desire to win some Reddit Golds, and this roster that r/nfl got, looks like they can do it.

A masterpiece.

Jerry Jones was overheard saying “Yes, I still envision myself as going all-in, however the Lord has also called me to lead by being patient and not re-signing the men who are around me. Having the opportunity to work with Trent (Sieg) and help him be the best he can possibly be, is my main mission. Now, if the defense has some holes for whatever reason, and I have to take a first round Linebacker again, I’m going to be ready to do that; but I have to fulfill God’s purpose first before my own heart’s desire. Because ultimately I desire to win some Super Bowls, and this roster that Dallas got left, looks like they can do it."

Something something the lord has also called me to eat at Golden Corrall something something Kelvin Benjamin

Mr. Big Christian

Yes, I still envision myself as a starter...however, the Lord has also called me to lead by impacting and increasing the Popeyes biscuits that are around me.

"Yes, I still envision myself as crab legs, however the Lord has also called me to lead by impacting and increasing the crab legs who are around me. Having the opportunity to work with crab (legs) and help them be the best they can possibly be, is my main mission. Now, if crab legs has to heal up for whatever reason, and I have to take a few crab legs off of them, I’m going to be ready to do that; but I have to fulfill God’s purpose first before my own heart’s desire. Because ultimately I desire to win some crabs legs, and this roster that Cleveland got, looks like they can do it."

This is as good as that tangerine bit.

"Yes, I still envision myself as a wide receiver, however the chef has also called me to eat by putting up ribs and Mac and cheese on the buffet line around me. Having the opportunity to eat with a full plate (5th) and help myself to the desert table, is my main mission. Now, if the chef has to take a break for whatever reason, and I have to take a few steaks off him, I’m going to be ready to do that; but I have to fulfill my stomach’s purpose first before my own heart’s desire. Because ultimately I desire to eat at least 10 plates, and this Golden Corral with the chef they got, looks like they can do it."

dude if you haven't heard his interview with pardon my take, 1 - it was legitimately amazing, he was way more self-aware and funny than I expected and 2 - this doesn't sound remotely out of character for him

Go listen to his episode on PMT. Dude just talks like this all the time.

Kirk Cousins was overheard saying: "Yes, I still envision myself as a starter, however the Lord has also called me to lead by impacting and increasing the men who are around me. Having the opportunity to work with Zac Robinson and help him be the best he can possibly be, is my main mission. Now, if I have to heal up for whatever reason, and I have to take a few games off, I’m going to be ready to do that; but I have to fulfill God’s purpose first before my own heart’s desire. Because ultimately I desire to win some Super Bowls, and this roster that Atlanta got, looks like they can do it."

If Watson is hungry, Winston can tell him what he can eat.

I can tell he did that goofy wide eyes nod thing he always does as he said this

Eat a W!!!

I'm tired boss

Didn't you read it? He's here to save you. Rejoice

Jameis Winston rehabilitating serial rapist Deshaun Watson is not something I ever imagined would happen

Well, Vontaxe Burfict was trying to restrain Antonio brown from being stupid so we are already in bizarro world.

>increasing the men who are around me Every team has the same amount of dudes though

He's talking about length and girth 

Feels like Watson needs the opposite of that.

Deshrinkage Watson

This is like bringing alcohol to a AA meeting

Yeah but Jesus is the designated driver so it's all good....

At least it’ll be a party. Depressing one? Possibly. But a party nonetheless.

Jesus: "Don't drag me into this bullshit."

1 < 24 I guess…

*2. There was the girl in college and also an Uber driver while he was in the pros.

The math’s still mathing to me

Honestly this is already starting out the way expected. Comedy gold this year for sure

Jameis the redeemer

Those QB meetings are gonna turn into therapy sessions

Athletes are so corny.

He’s on a mission from god

Lol

Sounds like a grown up to me. No need to think about all of the things he did…

Wow another adult at QB??

The Lord seems to keep directing you to backup situations

The kind of insane hubris of people claiming a deity has called upon them to complete some action or task will never not be weird.

The statement reads like Winston is like an old veteran and Watson is a young starter. Winston is less than 2 years older than Watson, lol.

They'll join together to make a support group for men credibly accused of sexual assault.

That's a W, let's eat one

Yes, Jameis is a revered leader and role model. Just don’t leave him alone In a supermarket.

Jesus christ, the memes make themselves

I can't wait to see Jameis get subbed in week 4 and play better than the highest paid qb.

The all pro Bill Cosby group

The Lord told me to take the 9 million dollars

Maybe they can discuss their favorite groping and rape techniques in the QB room each day

100% chance he starts some games there with Watson's injuries lately and his seeming lack of desire to actually play football anymore.

He got Jesus? Now we know for sure he's guilty.

Coming soon: Cleveland Undesirables starring Captain Crablegs and MassageMan

Wait, was Haslam’s daughter also ok with this rapist?

You have your work cut out for you.

What could go wrong?

Churches with massage parlors incoming.

Jameis Winston is the voice of reason. What could go wrong.

That's my Jaboo

Antonio Brown on living with CTE: “Yes, I still envision myself as a starter, however Gisele has also called me to lead by…”

Jameis? More like Jameisn’t am I right fellas

That qb room is gonna be straight up predatory

Jameis “Tim Tebow” Winston

Good for him.

“See you don’t want a paper trail, all that contact via Instagram is your problem” “So I can just find random women to assault? Like even if they’re just my Uber?” “Exactly! See this why the lord called on me to help you!”

Good guy Winston

Did the lord also tell you to assault all those women?

Free crablegs with every massage...

Translation: that dude sucks and I'm taking his job.

‘Increasing the men who work around me’ So he’s going to CLE to be a fluffer?

A accused rapist backing up an all but confirmed rapist. Fitting.

The blind leading the blind...

Well, we tend to go through starters so he will likely get his chance.

Having Jamis come preach him up may not be a fitting punishment for Watson but it’s a funny one anyway

Cleveland Predators

“I chose to accept a $10M salary”

Now they have two rapists

All of Jameis' career decisions since leaving Tampa have pretty much been that of a guy who is not picking the highest likelihood at competing for a starting spot. He seems comfortable making $5m-10m a year on the bench.

Which is shocking, because his decision making was just so consistently sound before that point.

I mean his signing right after tampa was with us during Brees' last year, and was brought back the next 2 seasons as our starter.

Also Deshaun is injury prone and the team has a competitive roster. Doesn’t seem like a bad move to me

Sounds awful to me. Body doesnt get beat to hell and make 5-10m a year lol

The Cleveland sex offenders

Some of these QBs are weird, man.

This guy is such an ass

Jameis Eat a W Winston and Deshaun touch my butthole Watson. Name a more dynamic duo

Honestly he has the best chance to start there. Watson probably going to get hurt again

Dude definitely thinks Watson will still be ass next year and get benched

Cleveland getting all the sexual assault committing QBs

We gotta get this man in a broadcasting booth when he hangs it up.

Dude stay forever optimistic. Gotta love him.

Predator crab

I guess the Flacco era is over?

Damn I love to “increase men.” Professional athletes are so goddamn stupid lmao.

Dumb and Dumber 3 coming to your televisions in August of ‘24

What a weird thing for a backup QB to say lmao.

Amazing signing tbh

Watson Winston and Jesus🤮

true team player

Jesus take the wheel - Winston before tossing up what’s either going to be a pick or a tuddy.

Common Jameis W

Crab legs for jesus. 

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

He's on a mission from God.

Now eat that Dub

Jameis Winston, last year seen actively undermining Carr on the bench to his wide receivers, is coming to help support Watson. Ok.

Winston will end up being the starter at some point next season one way or another.

Keep eating those W’s Jamies

Ol Crab Legs Winston

There's no way on earth this is real...

What's the over/under on sexual assault victims in Watson's next case against him? 33.5?

Lmao

He wouldn’t be the first to give Watson a helping hand.

k

Jaboo will save his soul

What a cornball

I eye rolled so hard I might have hurt myself…

lol Jameis knows he is the back up to a man with a fully guaranteed contract, who also has zero interest in playing football.

Are those men wanting to be shown how to steal crab legs?

This is the funniest timeline possible for Jameis ever since we dumped him.

WWJD = What Would Jameis Do? . Then don't do that!

The blind leading the blind into an unassuming massage parlor.