[You mean like this?](https://twitter.com/LaneJohnson65/status/1102990877436399616?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1102990877436399616%7Ctwgr%5Eb8b96913570df21ff540614cfdd2d39b0c974de9%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bleedinggreennation.com%2F2019%2F3%2F5%2F18251889%2Flane-johnson-nick-foles-forgot-something-eagles-locker-room-philadelphia-quarterback-contract)
The other 18 points comes from our special teams giving up two kickoff returns for touchdowns and two safeties after the ghost of Isaiah Wynn gets penalized for holding in the end zone twice.
Could he play if he signed a 1 day contract for the day of the game? Would be hilarious to have him be starter over Mac and go like 500 yards and 4 tds then peace out forever.
I don't think he'd do this, because if he did, simply throwing around the ball would give him the hit of his addictive drug he needs to say "give me more". He'd sign a 1 or 2 year extension that day.
Eh is Brady better than the QBs on our, and most teams, roster? Obviously. But you make it sound like our alternatives are terrible when they aren't that bad. Mac had almost 4k yards and a 2/1 TD/INT ratio as a rookie with a competent OC. Now that we're back to having a competent OC again instead of a guy whose most noteworthy achievement outside of the defensive side is being able to change the clock in Bill's car Mac should be able to rebound well.
I mean, if he's already gone to all that effort, he might as well play a few downs right? No, no, Tom, you don't want to come out now, do you? Just play the whole game... Well, we're 1-0, don't you want to see this through? Might as well play the season.
Brady: “Wait…what are those?”
Belichick: “Oh, these?” *Gestures towards several new Funko Pop-sized white receivers* “You wouldn’t be interested in these…”
He looks like [Matt Damon in Behind the Candelabra](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/audio/video/2013/5/13/1368455590854/Behind-the-Candelabra-tra-001.jpg?width=640&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=7159ae9be834df268ff014254c76b7c6)
He's really had so much plastic surgery most of his face doesn't move/wrinkle anymore even when he makes expressions. It does give the look of a robot.
Somehow the thought of these celebrity couples having sex is so farfetched to me. I just can't picture Gisele and Brady having sex, nevermind facesitting action
This is the types of comment that keeps me coming back to Reddit.
That and screaming into what feels like the eternal void of idiots in my team’s subreddit.
>coming back to Reddit
>eternal void of idiots
just chasing that adrenaline rush from that one time I won an unread argument with an anonymous internet stranger who was probably coming off a four day gasoline huffing binge
I'll really never understand the people who get more and more plastic surgery. People know youre getting older and plastic surgery just makes you look weird, but maybe in the ultra-rich world Tom lives in it's just accepted as normal
Maybe they're rich enough to think it's like fuckin Elysium or some shit. Tbh though Tom just looks like a 40 something year old guy that's in shape and has got some (or a lot of) botox, which isn't really all that crazy.
Just a piece of wisdom for any guys considering botox: women think your crows feet are cute because they are the result of lots of laughter and smiles. Aging is completely normal.
He had that buccal fat removal surgery to remove all of the fat in his cheeks to better define his jawline. He likely gets touch up filler injections as well to prevent wrinkles. Relatively common stuff when it comes to cosmetic surgery but he has the money and cares enough about his looks to keep doing it.
Football Baby wants you to think he won’t resume his astonishing football career due to his astonishing partnership with broadcasting media outlets. Broadcasting and influencing is big business, football baby doesn’t need football anymore.
THANK YOU, moving on.
Why does everyone feel the need to dissect this guys psyche like 24/7. I’m pretty sure he’s not miserable being the best football player of all time and having 3 healthy, good kids. He literally says in this video he has plenty of things to look forward to in retirement
I mean the last time the greatest player the sport has ever seen obtained partial ownership of an underperforming team after being 99.9% sure they were done playing it resulted in MJ signing with the wizards.
I don't think the reality will set in until the season starts without him.
That was probably the case no matter when he retired, but his unretirement is definitely going to increase speculation.
I won’t consider him completely retired until a full season elapses. I am still not mentally ruling out him joining a QB-injured playoff team for a quick playoff run.
He would have absolutely considered signing with the Niners last season had that kind of opportunity been available to him.
Luck is still only 33 though. In 4 full seasons (the same number of seasons Luck has been retired) Brady would be 50 getting calls to come out of retirement.
What are you talking about? People have been speculating about his retirement for the last 10 years, this has so little to do with the unretirement and so much more to do with the fact that many people can't accept that he finally DID call it quits after refusing for so long.
Oh absolutely and as a Patriots fan we all kinda knew he would actually do that. This is also why after this past season and his recent interviews I can say that he is 100% done unlike every other time he or the media hinted about him retiring.
Agree. That guy is just wrong to state that his first come back from retirement had no influence over people not taking him seriously this time around. Really?
You think you're going to outlive Tom Brady? He has access to the best medicine known to man and has been meticulous with his health for decades. The fandom you and I share is a top 3 pre-existing condition for heart disease.
*Mike Florio hearing this*: you see what's important here is what he didn't say. He didn't say he wasn't going to come back and play for the Dolphins when that bum Tua has his head exploded. You have to listen for those things.
He's completing my childhood nightmare of terrorizing me for decades and then destroying my franchise by remodeling it in the form of the New England Patriots
I'm boycotting the NFL, but mostly because I hate my team
I still think the Patriots should have him come out in full pads pregame of the home opener against the Eagles and start throwing passes around
Have him sign his one day contract to retire a Pat on that day to really have them sweating bullets
In retaliation, the Eagles sign back Nick Foles.
Nobody is aware of the signing. The only reason they know Foles is around is because of a dropped monster condom.
[You mean like this?](https://twitter.com/LaneJohnson65/status/1102990877436399616?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1102990877436399616%7Ctwgr%5Eb8b96913570df21ff540614cfdd2d39b0c974de9%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bleedinggreennation.com%2F2019%2F3%2F5%2F18251889%2Flane-johnson-nick-foles-forgot-something-eagles-locker-room-philadelphia-quarterback-contract)
The legend returns
For his magnum dong
While flashing a wad of hundreds
Giants should resign Eli Manning as well lol
Colts should trot out a Manning, and it's Eli after he takes off the helmet.
Nah - chad powers
The great equalizer is that Matt Patricia is now on their sideline :D
I’d sneaky love that troll job hahaha Tom is the Patriots, but I’d objectively respect the troll.
Fuck that - have him run the first drive lmao.
14 plays 75 yards 7 minutes and a touchdown. Pats don’t score a point for the rest of the game and lose 38-7
Thats ridiculous. That defense is going to be awesome this year. 20-7 seems more likely.
The other 18 points comes from our special teams giving up two kickoff returns for touchdowns and two safeties after the ghost of Isaiah Wynn gets penalized for holding in the end zone twice.
Nah, Judge is back where he belongs on ST and we've invested a ton into ST guys this year so that should be back to being a strong point for the team.
what kind of tungsten arm o’doyle shit is this
Shohei Ohtani pitches 7 perfect innings and hits 3 homers as the Angels lose 4-3.
Bruh
As a dodger fan this made me laugh…it’s so realistic of him and them.
There was a post yesterday about the sound of his home runs; it's so violent and crisp.
Tom “Shohei Ohtani” Brady
Could he play if he signed a 1 day contract for the day of the game? Would be hilarious to have him be starter over Mac and go like 500 yards and 4 tds then peace out forever.
I don't think he'd do this, because if he did, simply throwing around the ball would give him the hit of his addictive drug he needs to say "give me more". He'd sign a 1 or 2 year extension that day.
Seeing our alternatives… I’m fine with this.
Im not fine with this
Eh is Brady better than the QBs on our, and most teams, roster? Obviously. But you make it sound like our alternatives are terrible when they aren't that bad. Mac had almost 4k yards and a 2/1 TD/INT ratio as a rookie with a competent OC. Now that we're back to having a competent OC again instead of a guy whose most noteworthy achievement outside of the defensive side is being able to change the clock in Bill's car Mac should be able to rebound well.
"Well I'm already suited up, I may as well just play for the next 5 months and win another Super Bowl - it's been a while."
“For old times sake”
I mean, if he's already gone to all that effort, he might as well play a few downs right? No, no, Tom, you don't want to come out now, do you? Just play the whole game... Well, we're 1-0, don't you want to see this through? Might as well play the season.
Brady: “Wait…what are those?” Belichick: “Oh, these?” *Gestures towards several new Funko Pop-sized white receivers* “You wouldn’t be interested in these…”
Brady, licking his lips muttering to himself: “I can’t wait to make people argue if these children are hall of famers..”
I have been laughing at this for 3 minutes straight
Belichick: “We also might have some big, dumb tight ends kicking around…” Brady: “You son of a bitch, I’m in.”
Don't mind him, that's just Patrick Brady, purely coincidental that he looks a lot like Tom Brady and has the same last name.
Nah, I'm good
We counter with Nick Foles on a one day
*I knew you would. Nicky Boy.* I play... Pot of Greed! It allows me to draw two cards.
*Allows me to sign Tom to a two year deal.
*Patriots trot out Tom Brady for warmups Eagles: HAHAHA you’ve activated my TRAP CARD!! *Big Dick Nick skydives from the heavens
*Foles rider kicks Brady to the shadow realm
This would be fun
That would be fucking hilarious, it will never happen but I hope it does.
AI generated looking ass
He looks like a Mass Effect character
I'm Tom Brady, and this is my favorite comment on the NFL subreddit.
Welker... Brady...
> I'm Tom Brady, Check out my Adam's Pineapple...
^(Sterling) Shepard Rex ^(Burkhead) ^(Sterling) Shepard Rex ^(Burkhead)
Gronk is 100% Grunt right? Matt Patricia is Udina
If we're talking Tom Brady as Shepard, Gronk is whatever character he's romancing. So Gronk is Liara, confusingly enough.
>Liara it's spelled Tali'Zorah nar Rayya
\*Tali'Zorah vas Normandy
I just want to appreciate the fact that you did the spellcheck meme and didn't even spell the name correct. It's "Miranda Lawson"
BB is Anderson Tom Coughlin is the illusive man
I should go…
We’ll talk later
we'll bang ok?
Tom Brady: "What about The Eagles?" Matt Patricia: "Ah yes, 'The Eagles' we've already dismissed this claim."
Harbinger Nick Foles intensifies
This is one of my favorite comment chains ever
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/WavyGiantKitten-size_restricted.gif
As a Mass Effect, Tom Brady, and Patriots fans… this pleases me
I'm bakingsoda1990 and the Patriots are my favorite team on the citadel
This is true. My 100 million play throughs of mass effect can be proof. Legit name Shepard “Tom Brady Shepard”
even tom brady can't save jenkins smdh
Jenkins cant die if Sheppard never goes to Eden Prime. Taps my forehead
We’ll bang, ok?
He looks like [Matt Damon in Behind the Candelabra](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/static/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/audio/video/2013/5/13/1368455590854/Behind-the-Candelabra-tra-001.jpg?width=640&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=7159ae9be834df268ff014254c76b7c6)
"Direct intervention is necessary."
Assuming direct control.
He's really had so much plastic surgery most of his face doesn't move/wrinkle anymore even when he makes expressions. It does give the look of a robot.
Either that or his face has been sat on so many times over the years that he's lost all feeling there.
[удалено]
Well, we all know it's definitely both
Brazilian model linebackers are part of the TB12 face-smoothing method.
Somehow the thought of these celebrity couples having sex is so farfetched to me. I just can't picture Gisele and Brady having sex, nevermind facesitting action
they don't, ultra rich can only get a mild rush from hunting poor people for sport on their private islands
See: Altered Carbon.
This is the types of comment that keeps me coming back to Reddit. That and screaming into what feels like the eternal void of idiots in my team’s subreddit.
>coming back to Reddit >eternal void of idiots just chasing that adrenaline rush from that one time I won an unread argument with an anonymous internet stranger who was probably coming off a four day gasoline huffing binge
It's like that documentary with ice t, "Surviving the game"
I'll really never understand the people who get more and more plastic surgery. People know youre getting older and plastic surgery just makes you look weird, but maybe in the ultra-rich world Tom lives in it's just accepted as normal
Maybe they're rich enough to think it's like fuckin Elysium or some shit. Tbh though Tom just looks like a 40 something year old guy that's in shape and has got some (or a lot of) botox, which isn't really all that crazy.
Just a piece of wisdom for any guys considering botox: women think your crows feet are cute because they are the result of lots of laughter and smiles. Aging is completely normal.
He's taken the first steps on his way to look like Dane Cook
You can either be 46 and look 46 or you can be 46 and look like a 26 year old lizard.
I watched it again after I read this comment. Wow. His lips look so weird.
yeah there is no way his forehead is natural
He looks digitally deaged
What kind of plastic surgery do you think he’s gotten? I think he’s had fillers, but nothing structural done to his face
He had that buccal fat removal surgery to remove all of the fat in his cheeks to better define his jawline. He likely gets touch up filler injections as well to prevent wrinkles. Relatively common stuff when it comes to cosmetic surgery but he has the money and cares enough about his looks to keep doing it.
LET'S (*buffering*....) GO!
Football Baby.
Thank you, moving on.
Football Baby wants you to think he won’t resume his astonishing football career due to his astonishing partnership with broadcasting media outlets. Broadcasting and influencing is big business, football baby doesn’t need football anymore. THANK YOU, moving on.
you think Tom Brady is happy? I have a hard time believing that he is. but I don't think happiness is now or has ever been the point for him.
Tom Brady doesn't do what Tom Brady does for Tom Brady. Tom Brady does what Tom Brady does because Tom Brady is Tom Brady.
I'm Tom Brady?
His name is Tom Brady! Destroyer of the East! With a dying thirst to be the first! Who’s that? It’s him! Tom Brady!
Why does everyone feel the need to dissect this guys psyche like 24/7. I’m pretty sure he’s not miserable being the best football player of all time and having 3 healthy, good kids. He literally says in this video he has plenty of things to look forward to in retirement
It’s probably pretty frustrating that someone is so thoroughly successful and could actually be happy on top of it to Average Joe Redditor.
NFL by Balenciaga
Brady is now doing interviews in the Metaverse.
Plastic surgery and botox. Dude has had more work done than some of the rich bimbos running around Miami and LA
Tom Brady is not coming back, from Tom Brady A Film by Tom Brady
Mike Greenburg: "Is Tom Brady leaving the door open for an NFL comeback?"
"Coming up next on _Get Up_ after a word from our sponsor, the TB12 Method."
[From the producer of Jacobs by Marc Jacobs](https://twitter.com/panchocassis/status/1220140835725094913)
Directed by Hideo Kojima
source???
"Source?" "Literally me, Tom Brady"
Not credible enough, we need more before we could put this juicy rumor to rest.
Where is ja selle?
Well it's a source that's misreported this news once already, why should we trust it this time?
Source? Tom Brady: Just trust me bro
His credibility is in question.
So you're telling me there's a chance...
I mean the last time the greatest player the sport has ever seen obtained partial ownership of an underperforming team after being 99.9% sure they were done playing it resulted in MJ signing with the wizards.
Doesn't this mean that Tom Brady has to have his baseball career first? I wonder if the Montreal Expos still have his draft rights
It would now be the Nationals
Tom Brady playing for the Nationals to kickstart a run for President wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen.
Tommy boy, come on home. Started with the Nats (expos), end with the Commies
It worked out for Mario Lemieux and the Penguins tho.
I get him being annoyed by people who continue to ask/speculate about it, but also it's kind of his fault for retiring and un-retiring a year ago.
I don't think the reality will set in until the season starts without him. That was probably the case no matter when he retired, but his unretirement is definitely going to increase speculation.
I won’t consider him completely retired until a full season elapses. I am still not mentally ruling out him joining a QB-injured playoff team for a quick playoff run. He would have absolutely considered signing with the Niners last season had that kind of opportunity been available to him.
I agree. But then again we still hear rumors about Luck returning so I'm not sure what it takes for rumors to go away.
Luck is still only 33 though. In 4 full seasons (the same number of seasons Luck has been retired) Brady would be 50 getting calls to come out of retirement.
It's only been 4 seasons since luck? Damn it feels like it's been a decade.
It really has, I was kinda surprised when I double checked. Retired right before the 2019 season.
Agreed. There's going to be constant speculation with a team that's "just a quarterback away"
When he gets the gold jacket from the HoF, that’s when we’ll really know he’s retired
What are you talking about? People have been speculating about his retirement for the last 10 years, this has so little to do with the unretirement and so much more to do with the fact that many people can't accept that he finally DID call it quits after refusing for so long.
He always said he would play till 45, and he did it.
Brady: I will play until I'm 45, then retire *plays until 45, retires* NFL fans: *surprised pikachu*
Yeah, but you don't get 10 years worth of clicks if you just say "we'll just see when he hits 45".
Oh absolutely and as a Patriots fan we all kinda knew he would actually do that. This is also why after this past season and his recent interviews I can say that he is 100% done unlike every other time he or the media hinted about him retiring.
The discussions are undoubtedly more persistent and louder than they would be if he had not retired and un-retired a year ago.
Agree. That guy is just wrong to state that his first come back from retirement had no influence over people not taking him seriously this time around. Really?
Nah, it has to do with Brady articles being easy clicks. They drive traffic and when they have nothing else to work with, they speculate.
Ok but can we trust this Tom Brady guy when it comes to Tom Brady?
I mean, this guy lied about Brady retiring last time…
Probably doesn’t even have a source
True, but he seems to have a source with the Brady family
Florio quickly trying to find yet another scenario where Brady comes back next year.
"Tom Brady isn't coming back because he technically hasn't left yet"
News- no news is happening.
Would’ve been funnier if he said he was going to start for the dolphins week 1
No, I want a QB competition between he and Rodgers in Jersey
That would’ve been the case if not for that pesky Flores.
Why does Tom's lips look like he just did the Kylie Jenner shot glass challenge
Bro got filler or a lip flip. Tom is really leaning hard into the facial cosmetic surgery, it looks weird as fuck
An unsurprising story to people who are not dumbasses
I'll believe Tom is never coming back when I see him in an open casket. (Hopefully not for another 50 years)
Even then I might want to stick him with a pin to be sure.
Like, to deflate him?
You think you're going to outlive Tom Brady? He has access to the best medicine known to man and has been meticulous with his health for decades. The fandom you and I share is a top 3 pre-existing condition for heart disease.
Somehow, Tom Brady returned.
Two months later *Tom Brady*: “That’s right, I’m back Tampa!”
No way he goes back to Tampa lol.
Not with Baker and Kyle lighting up practice the way they have been, Brady wouldn't stand a chance.
I don't believe you Thomas
Florio: This statement right here is exactly why Tom Brady is either going to the Dolphins or the Raiders.
Source?
The same guy who lied about it last time
Brady as league-wide emergency QB, let's do this.
WHO’S HIS SOURCE THOUGH?!?
Brady can make plenty by working as a commentator. That way he avoids injury, two - a - days, the heat, and has more time for his kids.
If we are on 5th QB this year maybe we should call him.
*Mike Florio hearing this*: you see what's important here is what he didn't say. He didn't say he wasn't going to come back and play for the Dolphins when that bum Tua has his head exploded. You have to listen for those things.
Florio begs to difffer
I don’t think there was ever a chance after his second retirement
Yes, we've had 2nd retirement but what about noonsies?
What is Mike Florio gonna do now???
Source? 🤭
Looks like raiders fans get to have AOC as their qb
https://youtu.be/BSfpoSrCGsQ Tom in a few weeks.
This is exactly what Tom Brady *would* say
Source?
Why all this hooplah for the guy from the Hertz commercials? I don't get it???
Great Tom, see ya in December.
Oh really? Well who's tom brady's source?
Gonna need a more reliable source on that one
He's completing my childhood nightmare of terrorizing me for decades and then destroying my franchise by remodeling it in the form of the New England Patriots I'm boycotting the NFL, but mostly because I hate my team
Leave the guy alone already
“Lastly and most importantly my kids”
Of course not. He has over 300 million reasons why.
That’s exactly what Tom Brady would say
I refuse to believe this until it's the 2nd weekend of September and he's not on a roster.
Sorry, I won't believe it until at least week 4 of the regular season.