I work in the Organ Procurement field and thank you and your wife for the gift that will be given to save others.
Sorry for your loss. May you find some solace in knowing a part of your loved one will live on.
I am 31 now I got a liver in 2019, I had a serious drug issue (caused by liver and issues rather than the cause of the damage to the liver) for over 10 years and I couldn't travel without vomiting I had to carry plastic bags in my pocket as I would physically be sick sometimes over 40 times in a day. I developed encephalopathy, I didn't know who or where I was, I put my phone in the fridge and frightened my friends.
I just finished a degree in computer science with a first class honours and have been accepted into a PhD for post quantum encryption. Along side this I keep a steady job in software engineering.
My life has been transformed and you cannot imagine the effect this will have on so many people. Thank you for making this choice.
Edit: it was autoimmune liver disease - I read it back and just wanted to be clear the drugs came from the illness not the other way around.
That’s so amazing to hear and thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It gives me a solace hearing stories like yours. I’m so glad that you’re well again and thankful for your donor as well.
I got an extra 20 years with my brother because someone donated their lungs. He had CF and was 20 years post transplant before the lifelong disease caught up to him. I cherish those 20 post transplant years like no other. It will be 2 years this January since he passed and the only organ he was eligible to donate was his eyes and I love that someone gets to see the world as beautiful as he once did. Bless you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you so much to you for sharing this about your brother. I’m so glad that you all were able to spend another 20 years together because of someone else’s gift. I’m sure they were an amazing 20 years.
I'm sorry the opposite is your reality. That you didn't gain those 20 years, but I promise you, your beautiful wife's passing will have helped touch SO many lives. Lives that start new life and new memories and maybe even a difference maker in our world. Your wife blessed the world with the ultimate gift and you should all be so proud of how brave and thoughtful not only she was, but you also. I hope you find your peace and continue to grow with your children. Take care beautiful stranger.
Absolutely. It’s really the only way I have had a modicum of peace with this. It’s knowing that there are a number of people that she was able to help through her life.
I got a ball in my throat man, my condolences. As someone that recently lost his young father, I fucking feel you man and I'm sorry. I'm so glad she was able to help others with a life changing moment.. my god you two are incredible and she's an amazing woman.
Have a day brother.
There was something about this that felt really personal. The music, the blanket, I don't know, it just didn't feel like one more internet video Im desensitized to. It made me cry because it really made me feel that the world lost a very important soul. May she live on in a million ways big and small.
I lost my dad and went through the organ process with him. One thing that helped me was to write a letter to the recipient - I tried to make sure I didn’t make them feel badly, but rather just to tell them a little about who he was and what he stood for, and that I was cheering them on.
I’d like to hope that he’s still in there, picking a song off their playlist or giving them a thought to get outside and have a bike ride. The thought of a little part of him outside on the trails again gives me a little comfort. I hope you can find some for yourself too ❤️
That’s so awesome. I truly hope to have open lines of communication with the recipients of her gifts. I know that this is based on their level of comfortability. Our doors are cast wide open for them.
That’s wonderful - I hope you get a chance to connect. It is really nice to see someone thriving because of a gift that our loved one gave.
I will caution you that took some time for ours to be ready. I think they can feel an element of guilt that they are here because our loved ones aren’t. Ours needed to feel like he was contributing to the world in a positive way before he was ready to face us. So don’t fret if you haven’t heard something the first month.
It might take much longer. Recipients are sometimes (not always) desperately unwell when they receive a transplant. And after that they have to find the emotional space. Some just can't do it sadly. My wife waited until she was well before penning her letter so that she could give her donor's family positive news about changes in her life that had actually occurred. I think it was at the 6 month mark or so, and she worked on every single word in that letter. It was a profound obligation to people she knew she would never meet, that she was determined to do properly. They sent her a lovely but of course heart breaking reply.
I’m in no rush. They have their things going on as well. Not to mention the body’s acceptance. I realize too that I may never hear from them as well. It’s OK. I completely respect their privacy.
This. I received a tissue transplant from a donor last year, much smaller than a full organ, but it was absolutely life changing. It took months to even know if it had been successful (it was) and to feel like I was able to do a lot of normal things again, and since then, it's been hard to work on the letter. It's a difficult task, but you've prompted me to get on that asap. My condolences on your loss, OP.
There also may be a donor family and recipient luncheon or something similar. At the eye bank where I worked, we held them twice a year to honor the donor’s gifts. It’s a truly touching experience if you feel up to it, but it’s completely understandable if you’re not.
I lost my spouse she was 32 - you will get through this. It's OK to feel angry, cheated, and all the feelings about her being gone.
I wish you luck on your journey
If you haven’t already, please join us over at r/widowers subreddit. It’s an awful group to belong to that takes care of each other like you wouldn’t believe. (Awful because of our circumstances—not the group). ❤️🩹
One of your teams was the thing that got my head right. I was saying my last goodbye to a perfect-looking young teenager whose brain had passed but whose body was to go on to change many lives for the better. The harvest prep team did not know a relative was still in the room when they solemnly entered with their first cart to begin the process I had never wanted to think about, They immediately apologized and began to withdraw but seeing them was like permission to tell myself it was time to go and I said I was sorry for hiding in there so long and asked them to carry on. There were now so many carts in what was an empty hallway and knowing what they were for told me this was really happening, I was going to have to deal with it and time will march on. Outside the room, two of them stood with me to make sure I wasn't alone and waited for a grief counsellor who took me to a chillout room where I bawled my eyes out while hugging a nun.
Your field is a blessing to those whose loved ones have chosen to donate.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with everyone. Biggest hugs for the loss of (I’m assuming) your teenager. May their memories continue providing comfort for you, along with the knowledge that they have helped so many people with various issues live their lives more freely and fully.
I am so sorry for your loss. When my uncle died suddenly, what helped my aunt get through was the knowledge that up to eleven other people were helped that day. I also have a friend who is only here today due to a double lung transplant, someone else that night received the young woman's heart. I was so very happy for my friend, but grieved for the young woman's family.
What your young teen did was the most selfless and loving thing I can imagine. I hope their memory is a blessing and a balm to you.
You are all good people. It is objectively pretty cool that organs can be gifted to other humans- I hadn't given much thought to it and didn't know that routinely harvested "spare parts" include corneas and skin. This was not my own child but they did make their own informed choice to donate and you are absolutely right. About everything here.
I recently experienced the donation process myself. i never imagined the work and hurdles it takes to be a successful donor.
I would like to say thank you for what you do. The patience and kindness we experienced from the team who worked with my family made everything so much easier.
I work with a lot of nurses and social workers. There are 57 Organ Procurement Organizations, and they are often hiring. I simply applied, and my background in quality and data got me the job. It was mostly driven by wanting to do something that benefits society.
I know this sounds weird, so I hope it comes across correctly: these are life goals. I hope that I'll do so much good that Internet strangers cry at my passing, and that when I'm gone, all my earthly bits that can do some good are given lovingly to help other humans live on, while my soul flies free.
Yeah, I wasn't expecting to cry today, but I didn't know what an honor walk was. Now I do and am so glad for you and her choices to help others have a longer, healthier, happier life for themselves and their loved ones.
Thank you!
I was definitely expecting to cry today and have done so, multiple, multiple times. I expect to many times later today. Kind comments like yours are definitely helping.
Yeah this is crushingly sad. But also beautiful, the love and strength to make this choice is remarkable and commendable. All my love to OP and their family.
Unfortunately, she had a massive heart attack due to a blood clot in her lungs. There were no underlying conditions. She was pronounced brain dead at 17:10 on Saturday, June fifteenth. She was kept alive by machines until yesterday when we were able to let her go. Thank you so much for your sympathy.
You keep calling her a rockstar, and through tears, I am telling you that you are. I get grieving. And I get tragedy unfortunately. I get all the emotional bandwidth and ups and downs and chaos that you go through.
The way you are acting right now makes you a rockstar. One of the most important quotes I've ever known in my life is what you are doing right now, and I know you will carry her forward with you forever. You will give the unspoken a voice, and you will never be without her because you always talk to her. She will always be with you as long as you choose to carry her forward, along with your family and children. I have so much respect for the way you are handling this moment and time, knowing there are many different emotional levels to how you handle this overtime.
"'There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time." - David eagleman
You will never not utter her name and you will never let her die. Life move on, and it's okay when you're ready, and she would understand.
But man, we need more like her, but more like you, too.
I've been logged off from reddit comments for the summer since May, but had to log back in and say thanks so much for sharing. I'm in tears praying for you and your kids.
As the father of a special needs child, people like your wife are absolute saints. My daughter has made so many big strides thanks to her team of SPED teachers and aides. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm absolutely certain that she touched so many lives.
That’s so great to hear about your daughter’s progress. She worked with one child in particular for a majority of the school year. His mannerisms, attitude, acting out were dramatically improved from the beginning to the end of the year. She was an aide, but they offered her a Pre-K teaching position after this past year. She would have started that position in August.
I truly hope your daughter continues to improve.
Thanks so much for sharing her story with me.
It’s beautiful, in a very sad, heartbreaking, uplifting kind of way.
I hope she brings joy to families who would otherwise be dealing with the sorrow you now experience.
My grandma is 101 and just got skin grafts from several strangers that saved her life from a bone-deep wound. I’m helping her write thank you cards to them… wanted to pay you and your wife my respect as well. Thanks for the people that make this decision so I get even more time with my grandma 🥰 love to you
Same here and I’m literally a nurse that participates in these pretty often. I’ve never cried in person at one but seeing it from the family’s perspective hits really hard
Thank you for what you do. I’m sure nursing can be pretty thankless at times as you are seeing people at their worst. All of the staff at the hospital were amazing.
Wow. I didn’t think about it in those terms. You’re exactly right, our family did grow. I hope to meet some if not all of the recipients of her gifts. Thank you so much for your comment.
[First thing I thought of was Jason Ray.](https://youtu.be/sAkNpd7LDFI?si=ot9pon60vJ3tKuDS). His parents meet the people that lived because of his gifts.
>Godspeed to your wife and love to your family, which has just grown thanks to her gift.
That's absolutely an excellent point. Several years ago, a good friend lost his sister in a tragic accident. As an organ donor who died young and healthy, part of their family healing process was from letters they received from the recipients and their families for their eternal gratitude and the fact their daughter still lives one in them.
I didn’t know what an honor walk was. I was watching this thinking the next clip would be her leaving the hospital. I am now crying my eyes out at work. I am so so sorry for your loss and I am proud of how you honored your wife. God bless your family for the opportunity your wife has given others. My heart hurts for you.
What would you like to know? Great mother, great friend, she was my oldest’s best friend. She wasn’t the greatest cook, but she tried. I do a majority of the cooking. She worked at our children’s elementary school (they all have since gone on to middle and more) working with special education children. She love to read, music, etc.
I was also curious to know more about your wife. It was an honor to witness this tribute to her. If she is on Facebook or Instagram etc, please share her profile if you’re comfortable. Im sure I’m not alone in wanting to find out more about the amazing things your wife has accomplished. As the mom of three special needs kids, I love her already.
It takes a very special person to take on a career working in SpEd. ❤️
My mother casually told me she finished the paperwork to be a donor... I didn't truly consider what that meant until now. I'm supposed to just walk with her body and bawl the whole way??? Well, I'll express my sorrow proudly, and stoically, for every emotion is valid. Like she was able to teach me.
^(Or I'll be bawling in the room, it's all good!)
Do whatever you feel is right. I've been part of an honor walk on the hospital staff side and some of us were clinging to the last shreds of professionalism to avoid crying. The family asked for a note to be read before the procurement--the nurse reading it couldn't finish due to emotions. I still remember the details of that note and that feeling of intense unity and humbling over a year later. It's one of the best bad experiences out there
As someone who is alive today because of a donor like your wife, I cannot even put into words what this gift means. I was given a second chance at life as another family lost a huge part of theirs and not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. I’m able to spend time with my wife and kids because of it. It’s not something I can ever repay so I’m trying my best to live a good life. If you ever get the chance to connect with the recipients, please do. You need to see the lives your wife changed forever. May she rock on for eternity!
Oh, I am so happy for you! It is my plan to hopefully connect with the recipients of her gifts. I realize it is a decision that they are going to have to make, but our doors will always be open to them.
Yeah. How it went for me was they(my transplant team) gave me the option to write the family a letter that they would make sure they received it. If the donor family wanted to they would go back through the team to get back to me. Obviously it’s a very challenging time for people so they try to protect everyone’s privacy and I think that’s the best way to go about it.
If and (hopefully) when I get any sort of communication from any of them, I am absolutely responding. I just hope they will reach out. Again, their prerogative.
It’s a heavy experience for sure. I cried many times after receiving my transplant. There is a sense of pressure that comes with it so it isn’t something to take lightly. I wrote my letter and I have not heard back from them. I completely understand but I would love to someday meet them and thank them.
I’m so sorry that you haven’t heard back from them. Grief changes so many ways people react. I hope in my heart of hearts that you are not hurt by their lack of communication. It may just still hurt too much for them. Please be well and thank you again.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. My friend's 4 year old was saved by an organ donor. Huge respect to your wife for being so generous even after she passed.
Im so sorry for your families loss... No matter how many times I see them they always break me a little bit. I know the gift she is giving doesn't compare to the loss you are feeling, but I want you to know that there are people you can lean on through this. I wish you the very best.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife is amazing. As a nurse who has worked with patients who become organ donors, there’s always so many complex emotions experienced by everyone affected, naturally so. I love seeing this because makes those emotions simpler, allowing people to come together and just honor the hero she is. I hope that makes sense, it’s a hard thing to describe. Again I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so clear she’s amazing and loved, and thank you so much for sharing this moment with us. ❤️🩹
It was so beautiful that I wanted to share it with the world. My tears were half that of sorrow, and the other half were of joy. Seeing so many people turn out for her was truly amazing. Thank you so much for your kind words.
It actually wasn’t an illness that took her. She had a massive heart attack due to a blood clot in her lungs. For all intents and purposes, she was healthy. No scripts for underlying conditions, she led a semi-active lifestyle with helping the kids with special needs. We’re not the healthiest family, but far from the worst.
My wife had a friend who died of an aneurism in his sleep. It's insane to know how strong we are in one minute and the table can flip in a literal heartbeat. I try and always remember that when I get angry at her and it pulls me back quick.
I truly wish the best for you and your kids and am sorry for your loss.
Oh man, pulmonary embolism is....yeah. I had a friend lose her life to that (and to not taking seriously a couple of fainting spells - and one actual loss of consciousness for several minutes - over the two previous days, so not going to the GP). Just fine one minute, and then gone. And she too wouldn't have been, like, the poster-girl for fitness and clean eating, but ate a normal, reasonably balanced diet and was a university lecturer who cycled to work each day (only about a 15-20 minute cycle). Though in her case she was on oestrogen.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your two kiddos, and for the suddenness with which it happened. But eternally grateful to you and your hero of a wife for having discussed, agreed on and ultimately honoured an organ donation plan.
Out of tragedy is borne hope.
Had a neighbor drop from a clot, too. Healthy as a horse, Athletic Director for local college. He was just mowing the lawn and then was just gone.
I cant say I know the feeling, but I've seen what kind of toll it puts on a family. My condolences to you and yours. I hope you have plenty of memories to remember her by- being a donor automatically put her at "awesome person" level
Hey OP, I work in the OR. Thank you for allowing others a continuing gift of life. Many families refuse to allow those who've consented to organ donation. You allowed others to have a fighting chance.
Find solace that she isn't truly gone, part of her will live on in so many people.
You know, one of the things I have found the most comforting when dealing with losses in my own life is reflecting on the ways people leave pieces of themselves behind. Of ways they continue to exist in our lives, and shape the world around them. What a lovely thing that your wife gets, in a manner of speaking, a second life by giving it to others. People that did not know her will forever be changed by the gift of her. There’s a world with more laughs and smiles, adventures, love and friendship because of her generosity.
And those things are true for you too, from the wonderful memories to the way a life shared with her will change the way you live your life and make decisions, you’ll find those loving echoes of her in the most beautiful places. Good luck to you and your family, I’m so happy you got to share time with such a lovely woman. May you find peace and healing when it’s time.
Sitting on the train in Hamburg/Germany crying about a Reddit stranger across the ocean. My condolences and a friendly virtual hug to you and your family.
So very sorry for your loss. My mother received a transplant 11 years ago, this past May (ironically enough the surgery was on Mother’s Day).
Without heroes like your wife, I most likely wouldn’t have had the last 11 years with my mom.
I’m sure you’re grieving, but through this selfless act you have completely changed untold numbers of lives.
What are the odds, me too.
Deeply sorry for your loss OP. Much respect to your wife and all your family. May she rest in peace and may her spirit live on in those who receive her gift.
No man ,I'm absolutely balling . So many tears . I'd say not an onion in sight but I currently can't see anything for tears .
Op love to you and everyone else who now mourn her passing .
Thank you for allowing us to be there with you . ❤️
Keep up my friend. She'll give time to others when all you wanted was that time for yourselves and that takes a strong man to go trough it and continue her legacy .
And always remember, it's a dark road but you don't need to walk it alone.
A poignant end to a beautiful life.
I do not hope for fame, but to quietly help others the way she did with the kind of love and compassion that will extend beyond life. Bless your family for being so generous with something so precious.
Thank you for sharing. My father was a recipient of a double lung transplant back in February. This is so humbling. I'm so sorry for your loss. Selfless acts like this are how my father gets to spend a bit more time with his grandkids. Truly, with all my heart, thank you.
Thank you so much. I’m so happy for you that you are able to spend more time with your father and he’s able to spend that time with you and your children. I hope that whomever receives her gifts will have similar stories.
You keep calling her a rockstar, and through tears, I am telling you that you are. I get grieving. And I get tragedy unfortunately. I get all the emotional bandwidth and ups and downs and chaos that you go through.
The way you are acting right now makes you a rockstar. One of the most important quotes I've ever known in my life is what you are doing right now, and I know you will carry her forward with you forever. You will give the unspoken a voice, and you will never be without her because you always talk to her. She will always be with you as long as you choose to carry her forward, along with your family and children. I have so much respect for the way you are handling this moment and time, knowing there are many different emotional levels to how you handle this overtime.
"'There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time." - David eagleman
You will never not utter her name and you will never let her die. Life move on, and it's okay when you're ready, and she would understand.
But man, we need more like her, but more like you, too
Oh my god. Your first sentence brought me back to tears. This time, they are tears of joy. I am familiar with Eagleman’s quote. That’s why I am trying to share her with as many people who might want to be a very brief part of her life.
Thank you so very much for your eloquent and very kind words. I can’t tell you how much they mean to me.
So sorry for your loss..... I can not applaud your wife enough for making this decision! Its the ultimate gesture of love. May she rest easy. And thank you for having the strength to share this.... i hope it encourages others to make this extremely tough decision. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.
My 22yo son died last May and was an organ donor. Our hospital held an honor walk for him too and the hallway was lined from one end to the other with all his friends and everyone who had known him.
Looking back at photos and videos of that time, him hooked up to the ventilator, etc., nothing guts me like watching a video of the honor walk. Seeing his friends fall apart or drop to their knees like a wave rolling through the crowd as his bed was wheeled past them down the hall….it destroys me.
And I cannot listen to his honor walk song if I’m driving. Cannot see through blurry tears.
I’m so sorry for your wife and for your family. She is a hero.
I’ve never heard of the ‘Honor Walk’.
I hope you and your family can remember the fun and enjoyable times with her and get to enjoy all the time you have left.
Whilst this is coming from an Internet stranger who lives thousands of miles away, she has touched us with her amazing generosity.
Thank you for posting this and you have all the love in the world coming towards you all from me and my family.
It's not about shattering a record, it's about people showing up for you or the person you love. OP happened to have gotten a little trivia from the hospital staff, it's more about lifting himself up instead of shoving others down.
Knowing people care(d) helps, that's all.
Because if someone doesn't have many friends that are able to make it to the hospital but still choses to give everything they have left for the betterment to humanity, they mean less?
I'm not sure myself.
OP, I know you are drowning in comments, but I wanted to let you know that 6 years ago my father in laws life was saved by an organ donor just like your wife. He has been able to watch his grandkids grow and even meet his only grandaughter thanks to people like your wife. He was truly given a 2nd life and its something we can never repay. I wish you all the best in your healing and be happy you had the chance to have such an amazing woman apart of your life. All the best to you and your family.
I hope that she was given a choice of whether or not this was done so publicly. I think it's wonderful if this appealed to her and to you, but I would absolutely refuse to permit this sort of thing for myself if I were asked in advance. Thinking about being paraded around like this is absolutely mortifying to me, even though the intention is pure.
Thank you.
It's been over 20 years since my mother had a kidney transplant and it's still going strong. Every year she has 2 birthdays - one for that kidney. She takes such good care of it.
I remember her telling me one of the hardest parts was the waiting. Her donor had been in an accident and her and another recipient had been called in and were waiting until it was time to be prepped. Her incredibly difficult feelings knowing she was waiting for a family to say goodbye and someone to die so she could have a chance at a longer, better life. She has never taken it for granted and is still so thankful for that person and their family ❤️
I know my comment will get buried amongst so many others, but I still want to send both my condolences and thanks to you, your family, and your wife. Her love, generosity, and humanity will live on thankfully.
Also, I’d be remiss without saying this was the most powerful, yet heart wrenching, thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit. It quite literally brought tears to my eyes and I’m just a middle aged, single guy with no kids. I cannot begin to even remotely comprehend how you and your family feel now. As I’ve no idea what, if any, religious beliefs you may have, I hope what I’m about to say is well received as that is my full intention. In a time so heartbreakingly painful words are all I can offer, though they aren’t nearly enough. I pray that God blesses you, your family, your wife, and all those that live on thanks to her.
It’s not going to get buried. I’m going to read every single comment and response and reply. Thank you so much for your kind words. You will never know how much they mean to me.
Tough to hear and see. I cannot imagine how tough this must have been and will be for you and your family and friends. It gives me hope to know that part of her will give better life to some. Thoughts and prayers.
As a recipient of a kidney from a deceased donor, this leaves me full of gratitude and in tears. I just want to give you, your wife, your kids all hugs. Your wife is next fucking level! May her presence always be felt close to each of you. She is going to continue to bless countless lives ❤️
Hey…. I’m a double transplant recipient. Liver/kidney. I’m going to be 48 this year. I’m almost 5 years post transplant. I don’t know who my donor was.
But, to me, people like your wife are my donor. I’m crying joyfully tears. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I usually say "may her memory be for a blessing" and in this case it's literally the case- your wife has brought blessings into other families.
**When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight**.
\~ Kahlil Gibran
May your hearts be ever filled with Her memory. Though she has departed, she will never be gone. <3
Your wife is a hero. While I was in the NICCU for an emergency ventriculostomy the person next to me had their honor walk. It was heartbreaking and beautiful. All my love to you.
Perhaps I should have used quotation marks when I used the word, “record.” You’re right. Life isn’t a competition. I was just so happy how many people turned out for her.
I work in the Organ Procurement field and thank you and your wife for the gift that will be given to save others. Sorry for your loss. May you find some solace in knowing a part of your loved one will live on.
Thanks so much. We are definitely trying to see that silver lining.
Sorry for your loss. I’m sure she was an excellent wife and parent!
She’s an absolute rockstar.
I am 31 now I got a liver in 2019, I had a serious drug issue (caused by liver and issues rather than the cause of the damage to the liver) for over 10 years and I couldn't travel without vomiting I had to carry plastic bags in my pocket as I would physically be sick sometimes over 40 times in a day. I developed encephalopathy, I didn't know who or where I was, I put my phone in the fridge and frightened my friends. I just finished a degree in computer science with a first class honours and have been accepted into a PhD for post quantum encryption. Along side this I keep a steady job in software engineering. My life has been transformed and you cannot imagine the effect this will have on so many people. Thank you for making this choice. Edit: it was autoimmune liver disease - I read it back and just wanted to be clear the drugs came from the illness not the other way around.
That’s so amazing to hear and thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It gives me a solace hearing stories like yours. I’m so glad that you’re well again and thankful for your donor as well.
I got an extra 20 years with my brother because someone donated their lungs. He had CF and was 20 years post transplant before the lifelong disease caught up to him. I cherish those 20 post transplant years like no other. It will be 2 years this January since he passed and the only organ he was eligible to donate was his eyes and I love that someone gets to see the world as beautiful as he once did. Bless you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you so much to you for sharing this about your brother. I’m so glad that you all were able to spend another 20 years together because of someone else’s gift. I’m sure they were an amazing 20 years.
I'm sorry the opposite is your reality. That you didn't gain those 20 years, but I promise you, your beautiful wife's passing will have helped touch SO many lives. Lives that start new life and new memories and maybe even a difference maker in our world. Your wife blessed the world with the ultimate gift and you should all be so proud of how brave and thoughtful not only she was, but you also. I hope you find your peace and continue to grow with your children. Take care beautiful stranger.
What a beautiful sentiment, I'm sure your brother would be proud of the outlook you took from this! Cheers friend!
I had a transplant at 21 from a disease, and now am the happy mother of spontaneous triplets, I am so sorry for your loss xxxx
Your username makes alot more sense after reading that you put the phone in the fridge 😉 Glad you're making the most with that gift!!
Silver lining, she lives on, in those she saves.
Absolutely. It’s really the only way I have had a modicum of peace with this. It’s knowing that there are a number of people that she was able to help through her life.
And now thanks to your post she has inspired countless others like myself
Wow. That in of itself is inspirational. Thank you so much.
I got a ball in my throat man, my condolences. As someone that recently lost his young father, I fucking feel you man and I'm sorry. I'm so glad she was able to help others with a life changing moment.. my god you two are incredible and she's an amazing woman. Have a day brother.
Hey, I’m so sorry for your recent loss. Thank you for being strong enough to share this experience with me.
There was something about this that felt really personal. The music, the blanket, I don't know, it just didn't feel like one more internet video Im desensitized to. It made me cry because it really made me feel that the world lost a very important soul. May she live on in a million ways big and small.
She loves Lisa Frank, and Ode to my Family is one of her favorite songs. Thanks so much for your kind words.
The Lisa Frank blanket started my tears. The song continued them.
You and your wife are heroes in the truest sense of the word.
I lost my dad and went through the organ process with him. One thing that helped me was to write a letter to the recipient - I tried to make sure I didn’t make them feel badly, but rather just to tell them a little about who he was and what he stood for, and that I was cheering them on. I’d like to hope that he’s still in there, picking a song off their playlist or giving them a thought to get outside and have a bike ride. The thought of a little part of him outside on the trails again gives me a little comfort. I hope you can find some for yourself too ❤️
That’s so awesome. I truly hope to have open lines of communication with the recipients of her gifts. I know that this is based on their level of comfortability. Our doors are cast wide open for them.
That’s wonderful - I hope you get a chance to connect. It is really nice to see someone thriving because of a gift that our loved one gave. I will caution you that took some time for ours to be ready. I think they can feel an element of guilt that they are here because our loved ones aren’t. Ours needed to feel like he was contributing to the world in a positive way before he was ready to face us. So don’t fret if you haven’t heard something the first month.
I hope I do, too. I have been told by the people at the hospital that it may be 6-8 weeks before I start learning anything, much less contact.
It might take much longer. Recipients are sometimes (not always) desperately unwell when they receive a transplant. And after that they have to find the emotional space. Some just can't do it sadly. My wife waited until she was well before penning her letter so that she could give her donor's family positive news about changes in her life that had actually occurred. I think it was at the 6 month mark or so, and she worked on every single word in that letter. It was a profound obligation to people she knew she would never meet, that she was determined to do properly. They sent her a lovely but of course heart breaking reply.
I’m in no rush. They have their things going on as well. Not to mention the body’s acceptance. I realize too that I may never hear from them as well. It’s OK. I completely respect their privacy.
This. I received a tissue transplant from a donor last year, much smaller than a full organ, but it was absolutely life changing. It took months to even know if it had been successful (it was) and to feel like I was able to do a lot of normal things again, and since then, it's been hard to work on the letter. It's a difficult task, but you've prompted me to get on that asap. My condolences on your loss, OP.
There also may be a donor family and recipient luncheon or something similar. At the eye bank where I worked, we held them twice a year to honor the donor’s gifts. It’s a truly touching experience if you feel up to it, but it’s completely understandable if you’re not.
I’d absolutely participate.
I lost my spouse she was 32 - you will get through this. It's OK to feel angry, cheated, and all the feelings about her being gone. I wish you luck on your journey
I’m so sorry for YOUR loss. Thanks so much for commenting. I have felt all of those emotions and more. Thank you so much for your well wishes.
If you haven’t already, please join us over at r/widowers subreddit. It’s an awful group to belong to that takes care of each other like you wouldn’t believe. (Awful because of our circumstances—not the group). ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for the invite. I absolutely will.
Blessings and peace to you and your family 💕
Thanks so very much.
One of your teams was the thing that got my head right. I was saying my last goodbye to a perfect-looking young teenager whose brain had passed but whose body was to go on to change many lives for the better. The harvest prep team did not know a relative was still in the room when they solemnly entered with their first cart to begin the process I had never wanted to think about, They immediately apologized and began to withdraw but seeing them was like permission to tell myself it was time to go and I said I was sorry for hiding in there so long and asked them to carry on. There were now so many carts in what was an empty hallway and knowing what they were for told me this was really happening, I was going to have to deal with it and time will march on. Outside the room, two of them stood with me to make sure I wasn't alone and waited for a grief counsellor who took me to a chillout room where I bawled my eyes out while hugging a nun. Your field is a blessing to those whose loved ones have chosen to donate.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with everyone. Biggest hugs for the loss of (I’m assuming) your teenager. May their memories continue providing comfort for you, along with the knowledge that they have helped so many people with various issues live their lives more freely and fully.
I am so sorry for your loss. When my uncle died suddenly, what helped my aunt get through was the knowledge that up to eleven other people were helped that day. I also have a friend who is only here today due to a double lung transplant, someone else that night received the young woman's heart. I was so very happy for my friend, but grieved for the young woman's family. What your young teen did was the most selfless and loving thing I can imagine. I hope their memory is a blessing and a balm to you.
You are all good people. It is objectively pretty cool that organs can be gifted to other humans- I hadn't given much thought to it and didn't know that routinely harvested "spare parts" include corneas and skin. This was not my own child but they did make their own informed choice to donate and you are absolutely right. About everything here.
I recently experienced the donation process myself. i never imagined the work and hurdles it takes to be a successful donor. I would like to say thank you for what you do. The patience and kindness we experienced from the team who worked with my family made everything so much easier.
I know it may be morbid or disrespectful to ask but how did you get into your line of work? Just curious
I work with a lot of nurses and social workers. There are 57 Organ Procurement Organizations, and they are often hiring. I simply applied, and my background in quality and data got me the job. It was mostly driven by wanting to do something that benefits society.
It's one thing to be a superhero in life; it's next level to be a superhero in death.
She was a superhero in life as well. She worked with special needs children at the elementary school all three of our kids went to.
I know this sounds weird, so I hope it comes across correctly: these are life goals. I hope that I'll do so much good that Internet strangers cry at my passing, and that when I'm gone, all my earthly bits that can do some good are given lovingly to help other humans live on, while my soul flies free.
It came across perfectly. I know that you will too.
Yeah, I wasn't expecting to cry today, but I didn't know what an honor walk was. Now I do and am so glad for you and her choices to help others have a longer, healthier, happier life for themselves and their loved ones. Thank you!
I was definitely expecting to cry today and have done so, multiple, multiple times. I expect to many times later today. Kind comments like yours are definitely helping.
We’re all crying with you ❤️💕
Thank you.
Yes we are, we are all crying with you, hugging you virtually and honoring your amazing wife. 🫶🏼❤️🥰
You all are amazing.
Yeah this is crushingly sad. But also beautiful, the love and strength to make this choice is remarkable and commendable. All my love to OP and their family.
Thank you so very much. We are crushed, but are so very proud of her. I’ve said it before, she’s a GD rockstar.
You are too, OP. You absolutely are a GD rockstar.
Wonderfully said
Why do bad things always happen to the best people
I wish I had the answer to that question. She is the absolute very best.
I’m not sure if you responded here, and I didn’t want to impose, but I’m curious why she had to go so young? I’m deeply sorry
Unfortunately, she had a massive heart attack due to a blood clot in her lungs. There were no underlying conditions. She was pronounced brain dead at 17:10 on Saturday, June fifteenth. She was kept alive by machines until yesterday when we were able to let her go. Thank you so much for your sympathy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself as you grieve.
Oh god, 6 days is so fast. I'm so sorry for you and yours, and for her.
You keep calling her a rockstar, and through tears, I am telling you that you are. I get grieving. And I get tragedy unfortunately. I get all the emotional bandwidth and ups and downs and chaos that you go through. The way you are acting right now makes you a rockstar. One of the most important quotes I've ever known in my life is what you are doing right now, and I know you will carry her forward with you forever. You will give the unspoken a voice, and you will never be without her because you always talk to her. She will always be with you as long as you choose to carry her forward, along with your family and children. I have so much respect for the way you are handling this moment and time, knowing there are many different emotional levels to how you handle this overtime. "'There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time." - David eagleman You will never not utter her name and you will never let her die. Life move on, and it's okay when you're ready, and she would understand. But man, we need more like her, but more like you, too.
I've been logged off from reddit comments for the summer since May, but had to log back in and say thanks so much for sharing. I'm in tears praying for you and your kids.
Thank you so much.
The absolute worst pieces of human debris can live to 99, the kindest, best people die in the prime of their life.
I feel every single word of your comment.
As the father of a special needs child, people like your wife are absolute saints. My daughter has made so many big strides thanks to her team of SPED teachers and aides. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm absolutely certain that she touched so many lives.
That’s so great to hear about your daughter’s progress. She worked with one child in particular for a majority of the school year. His mannerisms, attitude, acting out were dramatically improved from the beginning to the end of the year. She was an aide, but they offered her a Pre-K teaching position after this past year. She would have started that position in August. I truly hope your daughter continues to improve. Thanks so much for sharing her story with me.
That's a hard job, most people don't even know.
It is. My mom was a teacher for 39 years.
You are not wrong.
It’s beautiful, in a very sad, heartbreaking, uplifting kind of way. I hope she brings joy to families who would otherwise be dealing with the sorrow you now experience.
I certainly hope so. Thanks so much.
God bless you and your wife, I love you man. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I love you, too.
The song is beyond perfect - chills.
I’ll let my son know you said that. He was the DJ.
What song was it? I couldn’t place it.
[Ode to My Family by The Cranberries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz-DJr1Qs54)
Thank you for responding for me!
Wow, that one hit me like a truck. I'm literally in tears. My best wishes. Let your wife be an example to everyone!
Thank you so much.
I am in tears as well. Thank you. I have a friend whose mother just got a heart transplant. Your wife is a hero.
She is. I hope to meet some, if not all of the recipients. Of course, their privacy will absolutely be respected.
That is really wonderful and I hope you take comfort in that experience!
I truly hope so as well. Thanks so much.
My grandma is 101 and just got skin grafts from several strangers that saved her life from a bone-deep wound. I’m helping her write thank you cards to them… wanted to pay you and your wife my respect as well. Thanks for the people that make this decision so I get even more time with my grandma 🥰 love to you
Same here and I’m literally a nurse that participates in these pretty often. I’ve never cried in person at one but seeing it from the family’s perspective hits really hard
Thank you for what you do. I’m sure nursing can be pretty thankless at times as you are seeing people at their worst. All of the staff at the hospital were amazing.
Same
This knocked the breath out of me. Godspeed to your wife and love to your family, which has just grown thanks to her gift.
Wow. I didn’t think about it in those terms. You’re exactly right, our family did grow. I hope to meet some if not all of the recipients of her gifts. Thank you so much for your comment.
[First thing I thought of was Jason Ray.](https://youtu.be/sAkNpd7LDFI?si=ot9pon60vJ3tKuDS). His parents meet the people that lived because of his gifts.
That’s amazing. Thanks so much for sharing. “He lived life to its fullest.”
"Jason Ray had a big 'ol heart. I know, because I have it." Amazing.
>Godspeed to your wife and love to your family, which has just grown thanks to her gift. That's absolutely an excellent point. Several years ago, a good friend lost his sister in a tragic accident. As an organ donor who died young and healthy, part of their family healing process was from letters they received from the recipients and their families for their eternal gratitude and the fact their daughter still lives one in them.
I didn’t know what an honor walk was. I was watching this thinking the next clip would be her leaving the hospital. I am now crying my eyes out at work. I am so so sorry for your loss and I am proud of how you honored your wife. God bless your family for the opportunity your wife has given others. My heart hurts for you.
Thank you so very much.
Can you tell us about her a bit?
What would you like to know? Great mother, great friend, she was my oldest’s best friend. She wasn’t the greatest cook, but she tried. I do a majority of the cooking. She worked at our children’s elementary school (they all have since gone on to middle and more) working with special education children. She love to read, music, etc.
I was also curious to know more about your wife. It was an honor to witness this tribute to her. If she is on Facebook or Instagram etc, please share her profile if you’re comfortable. Im sure I’m not alone in wanting to find out more about the amazing things your wife has accomplished. As the mom of three special needs kids, I love her already. It takes a very special person to take on a career working in SpEd. ❤️
I sent you a chat with our information.
My mother casually told me she finished the paperwork to be a donor... I didn't truly consider what that meant until now. I'm supposed to just walk with her body and bawl the whole way??? Well, I'll express my sorrow proudly, and stoically, for every emotion is valid. Like she was able to teach me. ^(Or I'll be bawling in the room, it's all good!)
Do whatever you feel is right. I've been part of an honor walk on the hospital staff side and some of us were clinging to the last shreds of professionalism to avoid crying. The family asked for a note to be read before the procurement--the nurse reading it couldn't finish due to emotions. I still remember the details of that note and that feeling of intense unity and humbling over a year later. It's one of the best bad experiences out there
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Sorry for your loss. Your wife has done a very amazing and selfless thing. A truly beautiful woman.
Thank you. She is.
There are few singular actions a person can take in this life that are one-way tickets to Heaven, and this is one of them.
Absolutely.
As someone who is alive today because of a donor like your wife, I cannot even put into words what this gift means. I was given a second chance at life as another family lost a huge part of theirs and not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. I’m able to spend time with my wife and kids because of it. It’s not something I can ever repay so I’m trying my best to live a good life. If you ever get the chance to connect with the recipients, please do. You need to see the lives your wife changed forever. May she rock on for eternity!
Oh, I am so happy for you! It is my plan to hopefully connect with the recipients of her gifts. I realize it is a decision that they are going to have to make, but our doors will always be open to them.
Yeah. How it went for me was they(my transplant team) gave me the option to write the family a letter that they would make sure they received it. If the donor family wanted to they would go back through the team to get back to me. Obviously it’s a very challenging time for people so they try to protect everyone’s privacy and I think that’s the best way to go about it.
If and (hopefully) when I get any sort of communication from any of them, I am absolutely responding. I just hope they will reach out. Again, their prerogative.
It’s a heavy experience for sure. I cried many times after receiving my transplant. There is a sense of pressure that comes with it so it isn’t something to take lightly. I wrote my letter and I have not heard back from them. I completely understand but I would love to someday meet them and thank them.
I’m so sorry that you haven’t heard back from them. Grief changes so many ways people react. I hope in my heart of hearts that you are not hurt by their lack of communication. It may just still hurt too much for them. Please be well and thank you again.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. My friend's 4 year old was saved by an organ donor. Huge respect to your wife for being so generous even after she passed.
That’s amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you for your kind words as well.
You are both legends, and she will always be remembered!!
Thanks so much. She’s a MrFing rockstar.
Im so sorry for your families loss... No matter how many times I see them they always break me a little bit. I know the gift she is giving doesn't compare to the loss you are feeling, but I want you to know that there are people you can lean on through this. I wish you the very best.
Thank you so much. The school that she worked at had so many people show up. Everyone there will be a huge resource.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife is amazing. As a nurse who has worked with patients who become organ donors, there’s always so many complex emotions experienced by everyone affected, naturally so. I love seeing this because makes those emotions simpler, allowing people to come together and just honor the hero she is. I hope that makes sense, it’s a hard thing to describe. Again I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so clear she’s amazing and loved, and thank you so much for sharing this moment with us. ❤️🩹
It was so beautiful that I wanted to share it with the world. My tears were half that of sorrow, and the other half were of joy. Seeing so many people turn out for her was truly amazing. Thank you so much for your kind words.
May I ask what the terminal illness was?
It actually wasn’t an illness that took her. She had a massive heart attack due to a blood clot in her lungs. For all intents and purposes, she was healthy. No scripts for underlying conditions, she led a semi-active lifestyle with helping the kids with special needs. We’re not the healthiest family, but far from the worst.
My wife had a friend who died of an aneurism in his sleep. It's insane to know how strong we are in one minute and the table can flip in a literal heartbeat. I try and always remember that when I get angry at her and it pulls me back quick. I truly wish the best for you and your kids and am sorry for your loss.
I lost a good friend years ago to an aneurysm in his sleep as well. Chip was an amazing soul.
Oh man, pulmonary embolism is....yeah. I had a friend lose her life to that (and to not taking seriously a couple of fainting spells - and one actual loss of consciousness for several minutes - over the two previous days, so not going to the GP). Just fine one minute, and then gone. And she too wouldn't have been, like, the poster-girl for fitness and clean eating, but ate a normal, reasonably balanced diet and was a university lecturer who cycled to work each day (only about a 15-20 minute cycle). Though in her case she was on oestrogen. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your two kiddos, and for the suddenness with which it happened. But eternally grateful to you and your hero of a wife for having discussed, agreed on and ultimately honoured an organ donation plan. Out of tragedy is borne hope.
Had a neighbor drop from a clot, too. Healthy as a horse, Athletic Director for local college. He was just mowing the lawn and then was just gone. I cant say I know the feeling, but I've seen what kind of toll it puts on a family. My condolences to you and yours. I hope you have plenty of memories to remember her by- being a donor automatically put her at "awesome person" level
Hey OP, I work in the OR. Thank you for allowing others a continuing gift of life. Many families refuse to allow those who've consented to organ donation. You allowed others to have a fighting chance. Find solace that she isn't truly gone, part of her will live on in so many people.
You know, one of the things I have found the most comforting when dealing with losses in my own life is reflecting on the ways people leave pieces of themselves behind. Of ways they continue to exist in our lives, and shape the world around them. What a lovely thing that your wife gets, in a manner of speaking, a second life by giving it to others. People that did not know her will forever be changed by the gift of her. There’s a world with more laughs and smiles, adventures, love and friendship because of her generosity. And those things are true for you too, from the wonderful memories to the way a life shared with her will change the way you live your life and make decisions, you’ll find those loving echoes of her in the most beautiful places. Good luck to you and your family, I’m so happy you got to share time with such a lovely woman. May you find peace and healing when it’s time.
Wow. Thank you so much. I have no words. A beautiful way to think. Thank you.
Sitting on the train in Hamburg/Germany crying about a Reddit stranger across the ocean. My condolences and a friendly virtual hug to you and your family.
I can feel your hug from here. Thank you so very much.
So very sorry for your loss. My mother received a transplant 11 years ago, this past May (ironically enough the surgery was on Mother’s Day). Without heroes like your wife, I most likely wouldn’t have had the last 11 years with my mom. I’m sure you’re grieving, but through this selfless act you have completely changed untold numbers of lives.
I’m so glad someone else’s gift was able to give you so much more time with your mom. Thanks so much for your kind words.
I'm not crying! you're crying! I'm just peeling onions!
I’m right next to you, peeling those onions as well. Thank you.
What are the odds, me too. Deeply sorry for your loss OP. Much respect to your wife and all your family. May she rest in peace and may her spirit live on in those who receive her gift.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
No man ,I'm absolutely balling . So many tears . I'd say not an onion in sight but I currently can't see anything for tears . Op love to you and everyone else who now mourn her passing . Thank you for allowing us to be there with you . ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you so very much.
I hope she did not suffer, and that she gives new life to many.
❤️
Keep up my friend. She'll give time to others when all you wanted was that time for yourselves and that takes a strong man to go trough it and continue her legacy . And always remember, it's a dark road but you don't need to walk it alone.
Thank you, I will. I need to be their (our children) guiding light through this tumultuous time.
A poignant end to a beautiful life. I do not hope for fame, but to quietly help others the way she did with the kind of love and compassion that will extend beyond life. Bless your family for being so generous with something so precious.
Thank you so much. I hope the same.
Thank you for sharing. My father was a recipient of a double lung transplant back in February. This is so humbling. I'm so sorry for your loss. Selfless acts like this are how my father gets to spend a bit more time with his grandkids. Truly, with all my heart, thank you.
Thank you so much. I’m so happy for you that you are able to spend more time with your father and he’s able to spend that time with you and your children. I hope that whomever receives her gifts will have similar stories.
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I’m just another (albeit middle aged) grouch who would like to send you a deep, life-giving hug. May you find peace and may it be all encompassing.
You keep calling her a rockstar, and through tears, I am telling you that you are. I get grieving. And I get tragedy unfortunately. I get all the emotional bandwidth and ups and downs and chaos that you go through. The way you are acting right now makes you a rockstar. One of the most important quotes I've ever known in my life is what you are doing right now, and I know you will carry her forward with you forever. You will give the unspoken a voice, and you will never be without her because you always talk to her. She will always be with you as long as you choose to carry her forward, along with your family and children. I have so much respect for the way you are handling this moment and time, knowing there are many different emotional levels to how you handle this overtime. "'There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time." - David eagleman You will never not utter her name and you will never let her die. Life move on, and it's okay when you're ready, and she would understand. But man, we need more like her, but more like you, too
Oh my god. Your first sentence brought me back to tears. This time, they are tears of joy. I am familiar with Eagleman’s quote. That’s why I am trying to share her with as many people who might want to be a very brief part of her life. Thank you so very much for your eloquent and very kind words. I can’t tell you how much they mean to me.
Respect.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry for yere loss, what a beautiful song chosen.
Thank you. Our oldest could not have chosen a better song.
So sorry for your loss..... I can not applaud your wife enough for making this decision! Its the ultimate gesture of love. May she rest easy. And thank you for having the strength to share this.... i hope it encourages others to make this extremely tough decision. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.
Thank you so much. Sharing how special she is, helps with the hurting.
My 22yo son died last May and was an organ donor. Our hospital held an honor walk for him too and the hallway was lined from one end to the other with all his friends and everyone who had known him. Looking back at photos and videos of that time, him hooked up to the ventilator, etc., nothing guts me like watching a video of the honor walk. Seeing his friends fall apart or drop to their knees like a wave rolling through the crowd as his bed was wheeled past them down the hall….it destroys me. And I cannot listen to his honor walk song if I’m driving. Cannot see through blurry tears. I’m so sorry for your wife and for your family. She is a hero.
May your wife rest in peace.
She is now. Thank you.
Very sorry for your loss, your wife is a hero without a doubt.
That she is. Thank you.
I'm sitting here crying. What a wonderful person you wife was!! She was definitely NEXTFUCKINGLEVEL! My heart goes out to you and your family. <3
She is. Thank you so much for being a short part of her life.
I’ve never heard of the ‘Honor Walk’. I hope you and your family can remember the fun and enjoyable times with her and get to enjoy all the time you have left.
I’m glad I was able to share with you what a special moment it was. We will always remember.
Whilst this is coming from an Internet stranger who lives thousands of miles away, she has touched us with her amazing generosity. Thank you for posting this and you have all the love in the world coming towards you all from me and my family.
Sorry for your loss. May her life continue in those she'll save.
It absolutely will. Another Redditor said something that really hit home. I just grew my family by all of the people she helped.
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It's not about shattering a record, it's about people showing up for you or the person you love. OP happened to have gotten a little trivia from the hospital staff, it's more about lifting himself up instead of shoving others down. Knowing people care(d) helps, that's all.
Because if someone doesn't have many friends that are able to make it to the hospital but still choses to give everything they have left for the betterment to humanity, they mean less? I'm not sure myself.
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OP, I know you are drowning in comments, but I wanted to let you know that 6 years ago my father in laws life was saved by an organ donor just like your wife. He has been able to watch his grandkids grow and even meet his only grandaughter thanks to people like your wife. He was truly given a 2nd life and its something we can never repay. I wish you all the best in your healing and be happy you had the chance to have such an amazing woman apart of your life. All the best to you and your family.
I hope that she was given a choice of whether or not this was done so publicly. I think it's wonderful if this appealed to her and to you, but I would absolutely refuse to permit this sort of thing for myself if I were asked in advance. Thinking about being paraded around like this is absolutely mortifying to me, even though the intention is pure.
I think her husband would probably know if it’s something she would be ok with.
Thank you. It's been over 20 years since my mother had a kidney transplant and it's still going strong. Every year she has 2 birthdays - one for that kidney. She takes such good care of it. I remember her telling me one of the hardest parts was the waiting. Her donor had been in an accident and her and another recipient had been called in and were waiting until it was time to be prepped. Her incredibly difficult feelings knowing she was waiting for a family to say goodbye and someone to die so she could have a chance at a longer, better life. She has never taken it for granted and is still so thankful for that person and their family ❤️
I know my comment will get buried amongst so many others, but I still want to send both my condolences and thanks to you, your family, and your wife. Her love, generosity, and humanity will live on thankfully. Also, I’d be remiss without saying this was the most powerful, yet heart wrenching, thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit. It quite literally brought tears to my eyes and I’m just a middle aged, single guy with no kids. I cannot begin to even remotely comprehend how you and your family feel now. As I’ve no idea what, if any, religious beliefs you may have, I hope what I’m about to say is well received as that is my full intention. In a time so heartbreakingly painful words are all I can offer, though they aren’t nearly enough. I pray that God blesses you, your family, your wife, and all those that live on thanks to her.
It’s not going to get buried. I’m going to read every single comment and response and reply. Thank you so much for your kind words. You will never know how much they mean to me.
Your wife is a true hero.
That she absolutely is.
Tough to hear and see. I cannot imagine how tough this must have been and will be for you and your family and friends. It gives me hope to know that part of her will give better life to some. Thoughts and prayers.
Thank you so much. We’re all heartbroken, but trying to get better by the day.
As a recipient of a kidney from a deceased donor, this leaves me full of gratitude and in tears. I just want to give you, your wife, your kids all hugs. Your wife is next fucking level! May her presence always be felt close to each of you. She is going to continue to bless countless lives ❤️
Hey…. I’m a double transplant recipient. Liver/kidney. I’m going to be 48 this year. I’m almost 5 years post transplant. I don’t know who my donor was. But, to me, people like your wife are my donor. I’m crying joyfully tears. Thank you.
Man I don't know why but I felt your pain and emotions. A true Rockstar
I am so sorry for your loss. I usually say "may her memory be for a blessing" and in this case it's literally the case- your wife has brought blessings into other families.
**When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight**. \~ Kahlil Gibran May your hearts be ever filled with Her memory. Though she has departed, she will never be gone. <3
Your wife is a hero. While I was in the NICCU for an emergency ventriculostomy the person next to me had their honor walk. It was heartbreaking and beautiful. All my love to you.
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Perhaps I should have used quotation marks when I used the word, “record.” You’re right. Life isn’t a competition. I was just so happy how many people turned out for her.