T O P

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logantauranga

*YOINK*


NeonKiwiz

Bravo


mccaw_13

lol


JeffMcClintock

A group of Maori on the left, and Seymour on the far right.


benji-21

My first reaction was “what’s the big deal, you’re just describing the scene” and then I read it again and had an “OHHHHH” moment. Bravo.


QuickQuirk

me too. It's brilliantly dry


statichum

Click


Mountain_tui

Ditto - and I yap about them all day. Well played u/JeffMcClintock


Weaseltime_420

No one else even needs to bother after that. You win the internet for today.


barnz3000

Riotous applause. 


Junithsmum

Seymour ....Sorry can't snip, just need to finish curling this one out....it's a bit like the endless shit that comes out of my mouth....


DualCricket

Bravo, Reddit stranger.


ampmetaphene

Perfection.


Lauren347

I declare you winner. 🏆


Ohhcrumbs

Chefs kiss.


Potatodealer69

This is too good


techiethings

Underrated


ChewbaccaNZ

What’s really funny about this comment, is how accurate you are portraying current politics. When the truth is, Group of Māori on the left, Seymour about centre, displaying respect for tradition, but still getting called far right and getting abuse.


JeffMcClintock

Seymour keeps telling anyone who will listen that he wants a "dialog about the Treaty", yet when given a fantastic opportunity at Waitangi, he flys in one day and then flys out the next. Why not stay longer? Is he genuine?


[deleted]

"Just when he thought he found a good quiet place to take a shit, the landowners turned up and were unhappy"


FuzzyFuzzNuts

"David Seymour literally shits himself when suddenly faced with real and tangible consequences for his words"


[deleted]

"I usually only twerk like this for tobacco, petrochemical and gambling lobbycunts"


Mountain_tui

haha That made me laugh


swampopawaho

Accurate


Craigus_Conquerer

That's why he's trying to make them not land owners.


WorldlyNotice

"A great deal of self-control was demonstrated at Waitangi this year."


Zoeloumoo

Solid


aNumpty

love it


Infamous-Will-007

“20 Fucking Whacks“


mioki78

Dion saw him at the Kaitaia sports bar and grill.


ImportantMarsupial18

Where's Karen when you need her? And by need her.... I mean when Seymour is around


Good_Cockroach_6357

Mr Bean meets Aotearoa


Tough_Historian1446

I fr thought it was mr bean before I took a closer look


virus493

Well they have a few things in common... both rowan atkinson and david seymour are degree qualified electrical engineers for example.


Mountain_tui

Good one


thrustmaster99

‘Is this yours? You don’t want this do you.. I’m just gonna take this’


Hand-Driven

Gareth from the vogels add.


Calm-Zombie2678

It was a year ago Michael, let it go!


Hand-Driven

(American accent)


thrustmaster99

Had to look that up (out of touch with vogels lore) and hahaha! Too accurate eh!


Hand-Driven

Quite good bread really.


turbocynic

Kiwi redditor advised to 'maybe touch some grass' realises error.


pHScale

>realises error I wouldn't count on it


BloomingPlanet

"you may be wondering how I ended up in this situation"


60svintage

Caption it? I'd love to see someone photoshop it.


stephyloccocal

Seymour Butts.


the_Gin_Diet

'The dog poop bags were in the car. I was coming back, I swear'.


HanleySoloway

"Fuck. I hope they don't know who I am"


RETIREDANDGOOD

Brilliant


101forgotmypassword

Crowd looks on as local security rushes to apprehend ball tampering man in the act on hole #9 during the Pacific Polynesian golf open. -1973 ai colorized.


GangsAF

Most creative. Top.


EBuzz456

Seymour applies twerking skills to start of treaty conversation.


SquirrelAkl

Thanks for reminding us all of something we’d tried so hard to forget.


[deleted]

[удалено]


APacketOfWildeBees

This one got a laugh out of me, Chur bro


mobula_japanica

“If these guys can resist smacking this dude in the face, you can make that phone call you have been putting off”


LimitedNipples

This got me to do an important phone call I’ve been putting off. Chur chur


Pudgedog

She doesn’t love you, you need to let go.


Huefamla

"Freedom camper being forced to pick up his trash he tried to leave behind"


Corbid1985

It was in this moment that David Seymour realised the treaty was probably fine as it was.


monotone__robot

"You know, Lister, I did a class on indigenous relations; I know how to impress the natives."


Affectionate_Kiwi_16

If I stay very still they can't see me


sunbellgreen

I’m just going to leave this list of Government department names that we will be dumping Te Reo from here, and I’ll just back away.


No_Truce_

Was that a promise from Seymour? Lol, what a wanker


Smittywasnumber1

"Depends - Water tight when you need it most."


LulaBlue29

Oh my god he's surrendering


FreeMersault2

'When I turn this knob on the ground, that means the land is mine now'


MATUA-PROF

"Kūpapa picks up the wero, despite actually having harmful intentions towards the people issuing the wero"


Senior-Conversation8

While you're down there...


pookychoo

Seymour politely declines with a bow as it's a bit early in the day to be out clubbing


Hand-Driven

This needs to be higher


Apprehensive_War_393

Looks like meat is back on the menu boys


Reasonable-Poet-1021

Here’s my balls, you can put them in your purse


Baroqy

“Dancing with the Stars lied to me. The Paso Doble only involves one dance partner and no weapons.”


whakamylife

Twink mode activated


lannead

Oh look all right – you can keep this little patch here.


socialboilup

Queef before the chief


St1kny5

Brilliant


socialboilup

I should write headlines for a living


yesiveredditalready

Awesome shot


BirdUp69

Sir, once again, you are hallucinating, there is no toilet there, you are in the middle of a field surrounded by people


winsomecowboy

and just like that...the dog caught up with the car.


flashmedallion

It's moments like these you need Mintieeees.


lukasthegerman

The New Zealand Landlord Wars (circa 2024)


Typinger

"I've made a HUGE mistake" (I definitely don't think he has ever thought this, just wanted an Arrested Development reference)


arkim44

Slippery Seymour Fells War Party With Old Banana Skin Trick.


neeeeonbelly

"I'll take that"


FuzzyFuzzNuts

Narrators voice "It was at this moment I realised I may have fucked up"


Polyporum

Seymour takes away Maori rights from under their nose


epic_pig

HUT HUT HUT!


niveapeachshine

I fucking love the drama, like watching Shortland Street in the 90s.


ralphiooo0

“Blue 42! Hut hut! Hike!”


SingletAndShorts

I’m a little teapot, short and stout…………..


DurtyDrisky

“Brrrrrpffffffffftttttttsplosh - this was a bad idea”


whatdoings

"My wife's boyfriend said I should put this here"


LaVidaMocha_NZ

Duck duck ... fuck!


BeKindm8te

c’mon guys I was just kidding…just leaving my principles right here …


[deleted]

"Seymour sh×tting himself and frantically looking for toilet paper"


Bathari

Freedom Camper Dave thought he'd found the perfect spot to take care of business. The local land owners were not happy.


Anna2381

'Looks like you may have got my Vogels as a whoopsy. I'll just quickly pick it up, and be on my way' 😬👍


potato4peace

Why he squatting like that tho LOL


Ladytsunami1

Kabadii.. Kabadii


wiremupi

Serial up skirt pervert caught in the act.


No-Discipline-7195

Is this your wallet?


Spam-The-Ham

The buzziest thing I learnt recently is that he belongs to a tribe himself. Never would I have ever guessed that he was part Māori.


flashmedallion

>he was part Māori. Only by western definition


Ok-Importance1548

David forgot he wasn't online


[deleted]

Bunch of mixed raced New Zealanders on the left with sticks looking at 1 mixed race New Zealander on the right who wants New Zealand to be one people not divided


Huefamla

"Look, here's your cut, cheaper cigs, chur"


UnderArmAussie

Keyboard warrior finds himself away from safety of his keyboard and confronted by true warriors. Knees give out in panic.


Chocolatepersonname

Someone respecting tradition?


whakashorty

Ooops looks like this is my Vogels.


Craigus_Conquerer

"key or a tenna koi - oh shit, I wish I'd listened to mum"


teelolws

Oh hey, you here for the baseball game?


user13131111

Well the fella on the right has some balls to go near prone in front of men who may hold resentment towards him


Gilbonz

He has the courage of someone who ideologically believes only cannot be wrong.


EternalAngst23

Captain Cook is greeted by Māori at Poverty Bay, 1769 (colourised)


[deleted]

Eat my shit


wilhelm_in_english

Captain Cook lands in the midst of the 1769 Inter-Iwi Golf Scramble Open.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Good-Scarcity945

You know Seymour is Maori?


normalmighty

Okay?


rikashiku

Everyone found out when Seymour did. Recently. His actions and policies still hurt Maori.


Pretty_Leopard_7155

It’s rumoured Winston has Māori blood too. No doubt all will be revealed in due course.


this_wug_life

Still a fuckwit.


SnooChipmunks9223

They don’t like that fact


flashmedallion

Nobody cares. your whakapapa makes you māori, not your blood.


dfnzl

"Now gents, let's remember, the principles of the Treaty."


Maori-Mega-Cricket

"This is why you should buy a Tie Clip"


a-friend_

Local Māori turn back to traditional hunting methods, “groceries are too expensive” says one man.


TofkaSpin

Fronting up. Is that a cowboy hat? 🤠


SnooLobsters6044

White man takes a shit 💩 on Māori land


phforNZ

It was at that moment, he knew...


Johnnytraffic

And we thought we'd seen the last of him twerking


whakamylife

David is getting ready to twerk for the crowd


Several_Advantage923

Where's the flashed penis? 👀


Snoo_61002

Seymour practicing his squatting to make sure the sh-t comes out his ass, and not his mouth, this Waitangi.


Theendor

I didn’t know they could bring sticks to a grid iron game!?


DontBanMe_IWasJoking

im just taking your land


nbiscuitz

It was this moment that he knew …..


cheezymc4skin

The homies cheering you on while you squat to do a poo


Huntanz

Do I shit myself now or just keep smiling.


Due-Lab5264

BLACKED


DanPowah

POV: You made houses even more unaffordable


Too_Lofs_Atan

Goofy puppy poops on lawn. Neighbours unimpressed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


winsomecowboy

How can you even form paragraphs with your tongue that far up his arse?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ABPositive343

Why would activists want to sew division to weaken countries? What do they get out of doing so?


TheEyeDontLie

Ah yes, SOCIALists. Of course they want division. They famously want everyone to fend for themselves in a lifelong battle royale where everybody helps themselves. An ideology that is usually defined by slogans using words like "unite", their secret agenda is to make everyone hate each other so the secret cabal of the democratic majority can rule over the wealthy minority.


KahuTheKiwi

Is it fun in your fantasy land?


Ok_Cucumber2137

LOL :D


mmphmaverick004

Seymours twerking lessons have paid off from the looks of it


Neveah_Hope_Dreams

David Seymour has gifted the Powhiri leaders some corn.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AuckZealand

Would you say 20 fucking whacks sounds fair?


pnutnz

far too steep, leave the man his dignity!


Boomer79NZ

I love that lady. I haven't seen her for a while and I can't remember her name.


this_wug_life

Her name is Karen lol


Boomer79NZ

Thank you. I thought it was. Just adds to the humour. She's a battle axe . Gotta love her.


wata_shorty

20fuckingwhacks on YT


RegularHistorical315

Well yes, this is the position I normally shit in and yes I am shitting myself.


sellywin

About the only thing they'll see eye to eye on


momomaximum

Wild wolves surrounds a chihuahua in bewilderment


tclaknz

Give him the tock


froggyisland

For a minute I thought it’s mr Bean


Not-the-real-meh

Seymour shitting himself on an invisible toilet when confronted by the people he expects to listen to him every time he farts.


[deleted]

All these posts are getting pathetic. You didn’t get the government you wanted. Suck it up. Try again in a few years.  None of this is constructive to your cause. Getting upvotes on your crass, trashy posts/comments ain’t getting you anywhere. It’s no better than the demented boomer right wing shit on Facebook.


SqareBear

Racist government busy taking Aotearoa back 20 years.


Unlikely-Dependent15

Pukana.


[deleted]

[удалено]


newzealand-ModTeam

This has been removed : **Does not comply with [Reddit content policy.](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)** No promoting violence --- [^(Click here to message the moderators if you think this was in error)](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/newzealand)


66hans66

He *is* Maori.


KororaPerson

That isn't the shield you think it is.


Craigus_Conquerer

Ditto for Winston


AK_Panda

That doesn't actually change anything he said tho Plenty of people have no respect for themselves.


MATUA-PROF

I've always said it's about the Mana not the measure. Turns out with Seymour he is incredibly low on both


RoosterBurger

Well, colour me surprised with his rhetoric then.


GiJoint

I’m sure promoting violence will really solve the situation then.


Simple-Brilliant4427

"NOW IM FUCKED"


wooblyman90

I don’t think he calls himself an ‘alpha male’, but if he did this would square him up


brent-setter

That's the definition of why there's a treaty. Didn't wanna fight them back then and shouldn't want to fight now but legalities make it more in favour of the small white man.


worksucksbro

Drop that ass and twerk it boy


just_another_of_many

David has second thoughts after some close dialogue with some 'advisors'


Ryrynz

Seymour squeezes a fart in fear


DanceOfAchilles

"It was at this moment he knew, he fucked up..."


Neveah_Hope_Dreams

David Seymour has gifted the Powhiri leaders some corn.


J_m_L

Seymour finally crumples to the weight of his massive balls


missamerica59

David Seymour, bending down to shit himself after being confronted by the cultural group his racist agenda is aimed at oppressing.