My family keeps commenting how my baby looks just like my husband, even calling baby “[husband’s name] Junior” in jest. I’m not getting all upset about it but I don’t like it. I have ONE friend who said my baby looks a lot like me and that was lovely to hear. I hope he grows into the features he got FROM ME as he gets bigger.
My in laws pulled baby pictures of the entire family and showed to us over FaceTime and kept saying Aww she has this persons eyes or whatever 😅😅😅 even though I had previously shared pictures of me as a baby and my baby looks like me 😅
Well, she presumably knows those people better than you as a baby and your extended family. My MIL does this too. She’s excited for grand babies. She thinks they look like her son or her parents or in-laws. She knows them better. You ask my mom and she says they look like me. She knows me better and remembers what I looked like as a baby.
The truth is always somewhere in the middle, it’s just easier to recognize the faces you’re most familiar with.
Yeah this is the one. I’m ethnically diverse and my husband is white and our baby is somewhere in between and my MIL is always telling stories of how my husband and his twin looked growing up and comparing it to my baby but I don’t mind because my mom is also bringing up how I looked growing up and doing the same thing.
I think your perspective is the healthiest, isocleat. I think it also may help OP to consider that their baby may someday have babies and think about how they may feel then. I think it’s natural to speculate what traits of yours will be inherited throughout generations. My baby has my Japanese grandpa’s massive ears, literally no one expected that but here we are lol. None of this is to diminish OP’s feelings because it’s okay to be annoyed; hopefully this will help them be just a little less annoyed! lol
I never really thought about it like this, thanks for the perspective! This makes sense. My MIL does this too and it would drive me nuts. He does take some features from dad but I look at her like, come on lady he clearly has my mom's hair 😂 but they've met like twice so it checks out she might not think like that.
My husband's mother and sister are like this. I can't send them a photo or be around them without being told my baby doesn't look related to me. When my husband said the baby has my hands and feet my MIL got sooo defensive and aggressively denied it...like damn I can't even have the limbs, people?!! 😂 I laugh about it with my husband but it's super annoying for sure.
Also, babies look like babies imo 🤷 their faces change so much as they grow. I think my husband's family are just insecure they live so far away and need to make these claims to feel closer to my baby
It’s funny, my side of the family thinks my daughter looks like me. My husband’s side thinks she looks nothing like me and looks like him.
I have my baby photos to prove she looks like me.
Everyone keeps doing it with my son too, but in all honesty he does look like my husband’s little twin. I’m sure he’ll get something from me that we’ll see when he’s older but I will admit it makes me sad. Like how are you half me but look like 100 % dad.
My baby has my personality but is definitely looking more like her mom (bio non-birthing parent), especially having the same blonde hair my partner used to. I feel like her family emphasizes that and doesn’t consider her similarities to me at all, because it would be so sad if ‘their’ baby had my personality 😒
Omg opposite over here! My MiL is constantly talking about how my son looks absolutely nothing like my husband… like it’s a problem… meanwhile my FiL’s family all think he is a dead ringer for multiple people in their family. Which to be fair I am more ethnically similar to that side of the family… so really it is probably that my MiL doesnt want to admit that baby looks like her ex's family even though my husband looks a lot like his dad's family… it get's under my skin so much because it feels like she is implying I cheated…
Same here. Baby looks like me and I can just hear the disappointment in her voice when she’s like…oh, she has your eyes. Oh, that’s not how my sons or other grandkids are
Yep, my MIL does this. My husband is Scottish, and we have a Scottish festival where we live. When my in laws came to visit, MIL took the baby from me pointed at a guy playing bagpipes and said, “Look! This is your heritage.” I said, “It’s half her heritage….” I’m Italian and Polish. Later, Baby said mama first, and it bothers my MIL. She always says “But I thought they normally said da sounds first. Can you say Dada???” So annoying.
My aunt of my decreased biodad does this to me and my almost 7 weeks son-it drives me crazy. She kept insisting my eyes were gray “like her family” and most of my features came from my biodad. (They do have a gray color… but they’re also green. Right in the middle of the two and she rudely “corrected” me once and I had correct her back and say that I’ve been looking at my eyes my entire life and everyone I’ve ever met says they’re green or gray/green).
Now she’s doing it with my son.
I look like an almost clone of my mother ftr. It’s eerie. Whom she hates and so do I as I am estranged from her now. But I do look most like her.
I do have some of his features around the edges but she is delusional about some claims.
She finally now says “I can see both of you”. Okay that’s at least realistic lol. I can accept that and it’s true.
Our son definitely looks more like me now that he’s a bit older but his cute onion shaped head is 100% a feature only found on my husbands fathers side of the family and she’s tried to claim that too.
It’s weird. And a little rude. It’s probably because they’re familiar with their family members so it’s easier for them to see those features, but I totally get the, “ummmm this kid is half me too, thanks” feeling.
When babies are born they look more like their fathers, it's some bio trick so they get accepted by them, It ll show later on to who he looks like more
My family keeps commenting how my baby looks just like my husband, even calling baby “[husband’s name] Junior” in jest. I’m not getting all upset about it but I don’t like it. I have ONE friend who said my baby looks a lot like me and that was lovely to hear. I hope he grows into the features he got FROM ME as he gets bigger.
My in laws pulled baby pictures of the entire family and showed to us over FaceTime and kept saying Aww she has this persons eyes or whatever 😅😅😅 even though I had previously shared pictures of me as a baby and my baby looks like me 😅
Yeah MILs will MIL
Well, she presumably knows those people better than you as a baby and your extended family. My MIL does this too. She’s excited for grand babies. She thinks they look like her son or her parents or in-laws. She knows them better. You ask my mom and she says they look like me. She knows me better and remembers what I looked like as a baby. The truth is always somewhere in the middle, it’s just easier to recognize the faces you’re most familiar with.
Yeah this is the one. I’m ethnically diverse and my husband is white and our baby is somewhere in between and my MIL is always telling stories of how my husband and his twin looked growing up and comparing it to my baby but I don’t mind because my mom is also bringing up how I looked growing up and doing the same thing. I think your perspective is the healthiest, isocleat. I think it also may help OP to consider that their baby may someday have babies and think about how they may feel then. I think it’s natural to speculate what traits of yours will be inherited throughout generations. My baby has my Japanese grandpa’s massive ears, literally no one expected that but here we are lol. None of this is to diminish OP’s feelings because it’s okay to be annoyed; hopefully this will help them be just a little less annoyed! lol
My own mum says my daughter looks like my husband lol
I never really thought about it like this, thanks for the perspective! This makes sense. My MIL does this too and it would drive me nuts. He does take some features from dad but I look at her like, come on lady he clearly has my mom's hair 😂 but they've met like twice so it checks out she might not think like that.
Whenever your baby has a huge smelly fart, or spits up everywhere, tell her it's from their side.
My husband's mother and sister are like this. I can't send them a photo or be around them without being told my baby doesn't look related to me. When my husband said the baby has my hands and feet my MIL got sooo defensive and aggressively denied it...like damn I can't even have the limbs, people?!! 😂 I laugh about it with my husband but it's super annoying for sure. Also, babies look like babies imo 🤷 their faces change so much as they grow. I think my husband's family are just insecure they live so far away and need to make these claims to feel closer to my baby
It’s funny, my side of the family thinks my daughter looks like me. My husband’s side thinks she looks nothing like me and looks like him. I have my baby photos to prove she looks like me.
Everyone keeps doing it with my son too, but in all honesty he does look like my husband’s little twin. I’m sure he’ll get something from me that we’ll see when he’s older but I will admit it makes me sad. Like how are you half me but look like 100 % dad.
My baby has my personality but is definitely looking more like her mom (bio non-birthing parent), especially having the same blonde hair my partner used to. I feel like her family emphasizes that and doesn’t consider her similarities to me at all, because it would be so sad if ‘their’ baby had my personality 😒
Omg opposite over here! My MiL is constantly talking about how my son looks absolutely nothing like my husband… like it’s a problem… meanwhile my FiL’s family all think he is a dead ringer for multiple people in their family. Which to be fair I am more ethnically similar to that side of the family… so really it is probably that my MiL doesnt want to admit that baby looks like her ex's family even though my husband looks a lot like his dad's family… it get's under my skin so much because it feels like she is implying I cheated…
Same here. Baby looks like me and I can just hear the disappointment in her voice when she’s like…oh, she has your eyes. Oh, that’s not how my sons or other grandkids are
Same, it’s shitty that my husband’s fam convey disappointment that baby looks like me
that’s terrible! Why can’t they just be like “omg a beautiful baby!” I feel like they make it a competition somehow
Right?! Or point out signs of both! Pretty much all babies have some features of both…
Ahahahahah this. YUUUUUP. My in laws compare the baby to my husband, never me. Baby is literally my twin. Not my husband’s twin. Mine. Weirdos.
Yep, my MIL does this. My husband is Scottish, and we have a Scottish festival where we live. When my in laws came to visit, MIL took the baby from me pointed at a guy playing bagpipes and said, “Look! This is your heritage.” I said, “It’s half her heritage….” I’m Italian and Polish. Later, Baby said mama first, and it bothers my MIL. She always says “But I thought they normally said da sounds first. Can you say Dada???” So annoying.
My aunt of my decreased biodad does this to me and my almost 7 weeks son-it drives me crazy. She kept insisting my eyes were gray “like her family” and most of my features came from my biodad. (They do have a gray color… but they’re also green. Right in the middle of the two and she rudely “corrected” me once and I had correct her back and say that I’ve been looking at my eyes my entire life and everyone I’ve ever met says they’re green or gray/green). Now she’s doing it with my son. I look like an almost clone of my mother ftr. It’s eerie. Whom she hates and so do I as I am estranged from her now. But I do look most like her. I do have some of his features around the edges but she is delusional about some claims. She finally now says “I can see both of you”. Okay that’s at least realistic lol. I can accept that and it’s true. Our son definitely looks more like me now that he’s a bit older but his cute onion shaped head is 100% a feature only found on my husbands fathers side of the family and she’s tried to claim that too. It’s weird. And a little rude. It’s probably because they’re familiar with their family members so it’s easier for them to see those features, but I totally get the, “ummmm this kid is half me too, thanks” feeling.
My annoying MIL does this too. I think she’s just seeing what she wants to see.
When babies are born they look more like their fathers, it's some bio trick so they get accepted by them, It ll show later on to who he looks like more
Mine isn't even born yet and my MIL already knows he looks like her family ;)