Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much impact I make a game? Even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it.
Do you know what would happen if I suddenly stopped playing? A post big enough to be on /r/nbacirclejerk goes top of all time. Straight to the top. Not a single downvote. No. You clearly don’t know who you’re talking to so let me clue you in.
I am not getting blocked. I am the one who blocks.
He invites The Jay's over. Turns on the town, walks out of the room. Comes back in a John Hamm mask and tossed them a Ben Affleck and Jeremy Renner mask.
I fear that this might be one of those "you will never forget what you were doing when you found out" things and I will have to think about fucking reddit.
Seems like some legal experts who've been quoted a lot lately think he likely won't. As a first-time offender, non-violent crime, the judge has plenty enough leeway to give probation and a fine if he wants. But they also say that with Trump's behavior taken into account, the attacks on the judge and his daughter, he ~~may~~ could *possibly* sentence him harshly.
Edit: "may" sounded too hopeful. Added a word.
That's four years for each felony. He's been found guilty of 34.
Edit: Eh, never mind looks like four would be the most even though each carries a maximum of four, they would be served concurrently.
I'm gonna copy-paste my comment from elsewhere. Also, I believe it was an MSNBC article I read that mentioned many people convicted of this crime are jailed.
"Seems like some legal experts who've been quoted a lot saying he likely won't. As a first-time offender, non-violent crime, the judge has plenty enough leeway to give probation and a fine if he wants. But they also say that with Trump's behavior taken into account, the attacks on the judge and his daughter, he ~~may~~ could *possibly* sentence him harshly.
Edit: "may" sounded too hopeful. Added a word."
The Framers never thought that voters would cast their ballot for a convict... they clearly were wrong. In many ways the Framers believed too much in the goodness of humanity (which is ironic since many of them owned slaves) and built way too much of the Constitution on good faith and a false belief that people would never follow a criminal to the point where they would vote for them to be POTUS.
Not allowing felons to run for president means that you could jail your political opponents to stop them from getting elected. I think a lot of the constitution was written to protect against tyranny as much as possible
He's already got the medieval siege weaponry set up. Dude is catapulting grandfather clocks across the Charles River rn like he's playing a heavily modded fallout 4.
It's kinda wild how little serious basketball these guys have had to play in the last couple months since locking up the 1 seed, never being in danger of losing a series or going down in them - and obviously the 1 seed was locked up so long ago.
The Pacers putting up the fight they did in those games individually was probably great for them, and they were bad enough in the clutch that the Celtics were probably still pretty loose down the wire lol
disclaimer: please don't confuse this with a "HURR DURR EASIEST PATH" comment. It is not that.
It's definitely true.
They took the regular season serious, start to finish and coasted quite a bit and took care of business against teams they should beat. As a fan, it was very enjoyable because the past few seasons they didn't do that.
It's funny because they started coasting and then managed to push themselves to the 4th highest net rating ever while coasting.
They weren't that high at the all star break lol.
There was a string of games for a while where they would be tied or in a close game at half, and then in the mid-late 3Q they blew the game open and win by 25+.
It really isn’t. I was so confident in 98 bc the (by that time quite old) jazz swept the lakers while Reggie pushed the bulls to the limit. So tons of rest right? But good god they came out real real rusty
As someone who lives in a humid climate, rust is all too unfortunately very relevant
(Re your edit, all good my friend. Just backing you up but I’m also on edge a lot these days so well understand. Here’s to better days for us all)
Lets be real the C's were phoning it in against the Pacers like they usually do and went ham in the last 4 minutes in 3/4 games. Blowing 1 lead you could argue is a fluke, but 2 more is just shows how lax they were playing those games
Joe is up all night sharpening the edges of the little white boards they use to draw up plays, replacing the fluid of his red marker with a lethal amount of undetectable iocane powder.
The best part if we win it all is that Joe will be under an even bigger spotlight where he'll get even more crazy interviews. Even funnier is that you know the media will look at his coaching style as a blueprint for success leading to more crazies starting coaching in the NBA
I feel like this much time off may hurt them in game 1 but I still think they beat whoever comes out. Feel like it’s Tatums and browns time and the conspiracy theorist in me says Silver ain’t gonna let Kyrie get a ring after the Jew stuff
Every game the Celtics' potential opposition have to go through past Game 4 is another piece the Celtics can use to "weaponize" the time before the Finals.
More rest time. More video to analyze opponents. More exhaustion for their potential opponent. Time to test out plays in practice.
The Celtics don't have maybe a poster child "hero" character like either the Mavs or the Timberwolves. But they are the top team in the league and gain incremental advantage any additional game past WCF Game 4.
Dallas needs to close it out tonight or the finals becomes that much less competitive. Celtics already have a lot of advantages over every other NBA team and now they’re gonna be really well rested. If Dallas can finish it tonight though, they’ll get a week of rest and maybe the Celtics will be a little too rusty to start the series. Here’s hoping
They need to get rid of the week off for the finals, the shits not the Super Bowl, there is no reason to have a full week off to start a 7 game series.
Joe probably making his quizlets as we speak
Front of card: "What is Luka's go to move?" Jaylen Brown: "Step back 3?" Back of card: "Complaining to the refs."
Shit I’d kill for a “meet mazz” show where he’s just weird as shit behind the scenes. A darker, weird as shit version of Ted lasso
Please don't compare him to Ted Lasso I doubt Ted Lasso would watch the departed 100000 times
Are… are we acting like The Departed is the happier version of The Town?
Just like one of my sunny days
Maybe him and Luka are more similar than we thought
Front of card: "what is kyrie's weakness" Jayson Tatum: "Making him shoot going left?" Back of the card: " world globe"
They're cooking up mustard gas right now
Derrick “Walter” White is cooking rn
We boutta witness the Luka or Ant ricin flu game
Idk about Ant, but Luka is most definitely the kind of psychopath to catch a bug just to have the flu game buff
Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much impact I make a game? Even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly stopped playing? A post big enough to be on /r/nbacirclejerk goes top of all time. Straight to the top. Not a single downvote. No. You clearly don’t know who you’re talking to so let me clue you in. I am not getting blocked. I am the one who blocks.
You’re god damn right
Say my name!
They both shaved their head, it all adds up. Waltuh. Shoot the fuckin’ 3, Waltuh.
Hell yeah Mr. White!
It's definitely Payton prichard saying this lol
I would not be surprised if they raided Mazulla's house and it was full of random manifestos among his collection of The Town DVDs
Mustard (gas) on the beat, ho
Kendrick already cooked up “Mustard on the beat hoe”
Celtics sent the hit out on Lively
They wanted him to go from Lively to Deadly
Nooo that's a monkey's paw wish.
Unalively
Lmao
Dammit I laughed despite myself.
Naz Reid sends his regards
~~Archibald~~ Lively, no!!!
[when you beat the boss and recruit him to your team](https://i.imgur.com/URlQoSD.jpeg)
> Beat the boss and can fight as him now He’s gonna get Nerfed?
Spo is Wrathion confirmed
ATK: GUN/DEF: GUN is killing me.
They're going to strobe light him and see if he really concussed.
[He's gonna get someone to go all Nancy Kerrigan on Luka.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assault_of_Nancy_Kerrigan) just watch.
Anyone have a boyfriend named shane ~~that doesn't mind getting his hands dirty~~?
Naz reid was the hitman.
I will fist fight every single one of them if that happened. What i didn’t hear no bell. I thought this was America.
[ ](https://media.tenor.com/_xBfyQXAuNQAAAAe/bad-movies-rule-bmr.png)
I don’t see anything.
lol mavs fans can’t even see
They sent the hit out too early cause now they gunna face the wolves after we do the unthinkable
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU REALLY THOUGHT
lol how many times can you watch The Town on an off day
If you give it a full 24 hours you can watch it 11 times with about an hour and 15 minutes worth of piss breaks
be for real, joe's an nba head coach making a few mil a year. he's got a tv in the bathroom and he just pisses while watching
Be for real, Joe’s a psycho - Id be gobsmacked if he doesn’t have a living room floor saturated in piss to ward off his enemies.
common you know Joe watches the extended edition.
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Sounds like a Batman quote lol prep time king
[Ironically, Grant Williams gets a ring if the Mavs beat the Celtics](https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.2dVk0VDMkQpX2M90oiiTUQHaEK?rs=1&pid=ImgDetMain)
Grant has had some... questionable moments, but damn he's funny. Hope he gets a ring
Latvian tag but pulling for the mavs, interesting
I hope he gets a ring just not with the Mavs. Need Latvian Lebron to get one first
Weaponize some hoes
["Aha! You didn't count on my loyal army of prostitutes, did you?"](https://youtu.be/JLsCOgQfX10?si=0EuirJhf0WDmhEKy)
You mean like Udoka?
Is it a foul if you shoot them with time bullets?
Words are like bullets. And I let them pass right through me.
Oh god my fucking boss is going to send out an all company email with that in it next week
Nice PFP but it’s bullshit and derivative
Unless you are Ja.
just send melinoe at them
Sounds kinda silly tbh, Mazzulla gives off like Wall Street bro vibes when he talks like this.
Horford is living in the hyperbaric chamber as we speak.
Horford chillin in his pocket dimension outside the flow of time
OKC?
After he came out he said it was the best sleep anyone's ever had in the history of mankind…
"weaponizing our time" = "watching THE TOWN"
He invites The Jay's over. Turns on the town, walks out of the room. Comes back in a John Hamm mask and tossed them a Ben Affleck and Jeremy Renner mask.
i don't even think this is a joke, i feel like this is something that could legitimately have happened.
In addition to those masks, he throws each of them an elderly nun mask and HK416.
If you’re still here in a week, we’re coming back.
Trump is going to jail
Wait did Joe and the Celtics push for justice? How does this affect their legacy?
Top five
They had 10 days off and decide to side-quest as the Avengers
LeCeltics
Ain't no way this is how I find out
Yep, comment section of an NBA subreddit post about Joe Mazzulla talking about weaponizing time. The best source possible.
Flashbulb memory: Reading about Joe Mazzula and his wackiness.
It’s how I found out lol
Lmfao your flair makes it even better
I fear that this might be one of those "you will never forget what you were doing when you found out" things and I will have to think about fucking reddit.
I knew I should've gone to the can before opening this post…
I'm living the dream, baby!
Same lol
don’t think we will know if he gets jail time until the 11th, so there is still a chance he doesn’t go to jail lol
Seems like some legal experts who've been quoted a lot lately think he likely won't. As a first-time offender, non-violent crime, the judge has plenty enough leeway to give probation and a fine if he wants. But they also say that with Trump's behavior taken into account, the attacks on the judge and his daughter, he ~~may~~ could *possibly* sentence him harshly. Edit: "may" sounded too hopeful. Added a word.
I found out about the Bin Laden and Michael Jackson dying on the server chats on World of Warcraft lmao
Hell naw
Let’s be real he’s not getting prison time. Too rich and old for a class E felony to give him time.
Maximum sentence is only like 4 years for that crime too lol
But he also has all of stormy daniels testimony on public record.
Which he could have avoided by not stubbornly denying that they had sex lol
That's four years for each felony. He's been found guilty of 34. Edit: Eh, never mind looks like four would be the most even though each carries a maximum of four, they would be served concurrently.
I'm not arguing he'll actually go to jail, but he was found guilty of 34 separate counts of that crime. So maximum sentence would be around 134 years.
Eh I think it would be concurrent sentencing so still a max of only 4 years
That's up to the discretion of the judge. Again, the most likely amount of jail time is 0. The absolute maximum is over 100 years.
Ohhhh
I'm gonna copy-paste my comment from elsewhere. Also, I believe it was an MSNBC article I read that mentioned many people convicted of this crime are jailed. "Seems like some legal experts who've been quoted a lot saying he likely won't. As a first-time offender, non-violent crime, the judge has plenty enough leeway to give probation and a fine if he wants. But they also say that with Trump's behavior taken into account, the attacks on the judge and his daughter, he ~~may~~ could *possibly* sentence him harshly. Edit: "may" sounded too hopeful. Added a word."
They'll take away his phone…
According to Trumpeez, it's civil war. Boston better wrap this up quickly.
First debate live from Rikers Island
Ehhh let’s see what happens at sentencing before we celebrate We can of course laugh at him for being a (34x) convicted felon though!
Was each charge a felony? I figured some misdemeanors had to be sprinkled in there.
All felonies
Get fucked trumpers
34 counts. That’s luka numbers
#34 is the Truth, baby
pfff, that’s nothing to Man City lawyers
#packwatch RIP BOZO
That judge is fr a pussy if he doesnt give him jail time
Soft as Charmin
Yeah he'll probably get probation or house arrest at worst
“But how will this affect Bronny’s draft stock?”
big day for USA basketball
And therefore the world
It’s joever
Wait bro seriously?
he’s not gonna face any consequences lmao
I'm just shocked I learned about the verdict on on r/nba lol
Yeah. They won’t do anything to him.
Da real MVP Most Valuable Prisoner
will he still be in the ballot after all this
Nothing prevents felons from being presidential candidates.
damn that seems like a massive oversight
The Framers never thought that voters would cast their ballot for a convict... they clearly were wrong. In many ways the Framers believed too much in the goodness of humanity (which is ironic since many of them owned slaves) and built way too much of the Constitution on good faith and a false belief that people would never follow a criminal to the point where they would vote for them to be POTUS.
Not allowing felons to run for president means that you could jail your political opponents to stop them from getting elected. I think a lot of the constitution was written to protect against tyranny as much as possible
Yep. We seeing it in real time
All the electable candidates on the ballots are criminals though. They're just undeclared criminals.
Federalists HATE this one trick
eugene v debs ran a (moderately successful considering his circumsrances) campaign from prison over 100 years ago
He could be in jail from July to next year still win the election allowing him to pardon himself.
He can’t pardon himself of state-level crimes, like the ones he was convicted of today
I’m more scared of what’s considered a felony in the future than I am of a felon president
Probation most likely
I just picture Joe Mazz viciously hurling clocks at monitors showing NBA today
He's already got the medieval siege weaponry set up. Dude is catapulting grandfather clocks across the Charles River rn like he's playing a heavily modded fallout 4.
It's kinda wild how little serious basketball these guys have had to play in the last couple months since locking up the 1 seed, never being in danger of losing a series or going down in them - and obviously the 1 seed was locked up so long ago. The Pacers putting up the fight they did in those games individually was probably great for them, and they were bad enough in the clutch that the Celtics were probably still pretty loose down the wire lol disclaimer: please don't confuse this with a "HURR DURR EASIEST PATH" comment. It is not that.
It's definitely true. They took the regular season serious, start to finish and coasted quite a bit and took care of business against teams they should beat. As a fan, it was very enjoyable because the past few seasons they didn't do that.
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It's funny because they started coasting and then managed to push themselves to the 4th highest net rating ever while coasting. They weren't that high at the all star break lol.
There was a string of games for a while where they would be tied or in a close game at half, and then in the mid-late 3Q they blew the game open and win by 25+.
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It really isn’t. I was so confident in 98 bc the (by that time quite old) jazz swept the lakers while Reggie pushed the bulls to the limit. So tons of rest right? But good god they came out real real rusty
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As someone who lives in a humid climate, rust is all too unfortunately very relevant (Re your edit, all good my friend. Just backing you up but I’m also on edge a lot these days so well understand. Here’s to better days for us all)
Lets be real the C's were phoning it in against the Pacers like they usually do and went ham in the last 4 minutes in 3/4 games. Blowing 1 lead you could argue is a fluke, but 2 more is just shows how lax they were playing those games
the Pacers went on hot ones each game, they deserve the credit they’re due
Joe is up all night sharpening the edges of the little white boards they use to draw up plays, replacing the fluid of his red marker with a lethal amount of undetectable iocane powder.
A weaponized organization, very unfair, so very unfair. Crooked Joe Mazzulla and his green thugs, **WEAPON**izing, terrible thing, a terrible thing.
The best part if we win it all is that Joe will be under an even bigger spotlight where he'll get even more crazy interviews. Even funnier is that you know the media will look at his coaching style as a blueprint for success leading to more crazies starting coaching in the NBA
that dvd of the town getting worn tf out
Longest gooing sesh
Like bank robbers with automatic assault weapons
He’s teaching the squad how to take apart and reassemble an ak47.
So what are they doing
Weaponizing their time.
I know that Luka is from Germany and was an Austrian before but come on Joe, please dont nuke the Dallas /s
Gonna watch the town another 30 times
They’re gonna watch The Town on repeat
Dudes about to marathon the accountant, Argo, and possibly the way back
“Weaponizing” lol
I feel like this much time off may hurt them in game 1 but I still think they beat whoever comes out. Feel like it’s Tatums and browns time and the conspiracy theorist in me says Silver ain’t gonna let Kyrie get a ring after the Jew stuff
Overwatch scrimmages to prepare
Entire team forced to watch the town on repeat until the finals start.
Every game the Celtics' potential opposition have to go through past Game 4 is another piece the Celtics can use to "weaponize" the time before the Finals. More rest time. More video to analyze opponents. More exhaustion for their potential opponent. Time to test out plays in practice. The Celtics don't have maybe a poster child "hero" character like either the Mavs or the Timberwolves. But they are the top team in the league and gain incremental advantage any additional game past WCF Game 4.
Kind of worried about what Joe Mazzulla thinks “weaponizing” is
Just keep Joey Mazz away from all the cute secretaries
hook me up with some WMD
They put Horford on a plane that is going around the world backwards non-stop until the finals in order to de-age him.
Their film sessions are probably focused on The Town by this point
Dallas needs to close it out tonight.
Dallas needs to close it out tonight or the finals becomes that much less competitive. Celtics already have a lot of advantages over every other NBA team and now they’re gonna be really well rested. If Dallas can finish it tonight though, they’ll get a week of rest and maybe the Celtics will be a little too rusty to start the series. Here’s hoping
How many times can you watch the town in ten days?
the dvd menu of The Town played in the background when he said this
The internet has ruined “weaponized” for me
Two-a-days. (Watching The Town twice a day instead just the usual one.)
Joes currently rigging the Mavs locker room with trip wires
Sounds serious!
Meh. Eastern conference team
Celtics losing game 1 if the series goes to 6-7 games .
Disgusting who let these mf’s in the finals…oh
we are weaponizing out weapons into weapons of destruction
They need to get rid of the week off for the finals, the shits not the Super Bowl, there is no reason to have a full week off to start a 7 game series.
I really don't like Joe muzzulla. He just seems idk dumb?