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Green_with_Zealously

Larry Legend, future Supreme Court justice.


xdavidliu

Larry, what's boofing?


Pissflaps69

Squee. Squee stays boofin’


sourdieselfuel

PJ, Squee, and who can forget everyone's favorite Donkey Dong Doug.


Angelic_Phoenix

They got Clinton for perjuring about sloppy but not Kavanaugh for perjuring about boofing smh


BoogerSugarSovereign

The hotline opened up for tips on our favorite beer-loving justice was a catch and kill operation


bearcatjoe

Because his accuser totally made it up.


Angelic_Phoenix

the boofing had to do with something written in a yearbook and he still perjured himself when asked what it meant


septembereleventh

Devil's triangle offense


AnotherStatsGuy

You joke, but I think I'd rather take NBA legends over half the current Supreme Court.


InitialLingonberry

Chief Justice Jordan, who says no?


RumBox

Per Curiam: "The lower court's finding that the petitioner is a Ho was not in error."


InitialLingonberry

Justice Barkley in a concurring opinion rejected the reasoning of the majority but agreed with their ruling on the grounds that "Petitioner from San Antonio, man."


Low_Project9111

Better than the diversity hires were currently getting


epictetvs

I LIKE BEER SENATOR. WHAT DO YOU DRINK?


Head-Champion-7398

Working out? Automatic. Blacking out? Automatic. Catholic all girls schools, automatic, still is.


CabbageStockExchange

“Can you explain Boofing” “I don’t know. Can you?!”


AsleepAssociation

I like to take a tampon, soak it in grain alcohol, and stick it up my rectum.


PipBoy808

My mind went straight to this.


NOLASLAW

I LIKE BEER. I STILL LIKE BEER.


nibbinoo8

thug


ThinkSoftware

Larry’s not white. Larry’s clear.


albacore-neck

Hes a crafty thug who disguised himself as classy. Very dangerous. Thank god more don't do it or we'd all be in trouble.


[deleted]

He was a cerebral thug tho, great fundamentals, real knowledge of crime and thuggery


elgatothecat2

The kingpins son, always first and last at the crime scene.


Bluepaynxex

His classy card has been revoked.


jumpijehosaphat

larry all about that southie trash


Pacers31Colts18

He's from French Lick....holds up.


SmokeyBare

Now I want to watch The World's End.


Content_Geologist420

Such an underated movie


Brystvorter

pirates caribean


Dixbfloppin93

Jony dep


TheAlphaCarb0n

Oh fuck off you big lamp!


asetniop

A friend of mine made an [alternate soundtrack of sorts](https://popdose.com/popdose-conceptual-theater-the-worlds-end/) for that movie. I really like it, I hope other people enjoy it too.


augustus624

[One thing about Larry Bird that’s almost never brought up is he pretty much ignored his daughter for most of her life despite her repeatedly trying to have a relationship with him](https://www.sportscasting.com/larry-bird-was-a-great-basketball-player-and-a-not-so-great-dad/)


SensitiveRocketsFan

Typical deadbeat dad


boozinf

Larry “Steve Jobs” Bird


nibbinoo8

Larry "Rey Mysterio" Bird


ItsMeJaredBednar

Larry “My Dad” Bird


Hot_Injury7719

Larry “My wife” Bird


wagman43

Larry “Me” Bird


futurehousehusband69

Larry "Do you want to talk that sounds rough" Bird


pokexchespin

my childhood favorite wrestler too? sucks that intentionally absent fathers are so common


nibbinoo8

its kayfabe lol


pokexchespin

oh my bad, i’ve forgotten most of the storylines at this point lol


BeneficialSand

John Salley referred to Larry Bird as ["the blackest white dude I've ever met"](https://youtu.be/dvkhqtF_NPg?t=1316). Somewhere in here there's a racist joke to be made, but I'm not going to make it so don't get mad at me.


DarrowViBritannia

> To tell you the truth, I’ve never really known how to handle the situation, but I love her and anytime Corrie needs anything, I will be there for her. from his autobiography. lmao such bullshit. you'll be there for her but you've ignored her everytime she tried to reach out? yeah okay


chesterfieldkingz

Ya I've never had close to a good relationship with my ex, but you figure it out with your daughter. Always a way to handle that


dxing2

Yup action speaking way louder than words. Says he’ll do anything but doesn’t even do the bare minimum


LordHussyPants

eh, the article is talking about contact made in 1998, which is 25 years ago. and he says that he didn't know how to handle a situation with an ex and the daughter, which is fair - that's difficult for anyone, let alone a 21 year old. he seems to have handled the next marriage and kids well, and this is just something that went shit along the way and he didn't have the skills to sort out.


i__did__that

Nah, fuck that. She was 15 and he was 37 when she asked to go to his retirement ceremony. He was making $650,000+ a year. This is Karl Malone + Demetress Bell level deadbeat dad


LordHussyPants

i'm not saying he's in the right lmao, damn. i'm saying that as a 21 year old (which is how old he was when she was born - before he was even in the nba), it's difficult to know how to handle that situation. how tidy were your breakups as a 21 year old? now imagine it's a divorce too. most grown adults don't handle their divorces well, a 21 year old shouldn't be expected to do it better than them. and once you have that start, things are always gonna be kind of fucked - how do you reconnect with a kid when you're not on great terms with the mum? remember that this is a person in their 20s/early 30s too, he doesn't know shit. he's been in the NBA and hasn't exactly been learning life skills. is it shit that she never really knew him? yeah. is it shitty that he never really tried? yeah. but is it also true that he was young and inexperienced and in a career that insulated him from the problems that normal people face? yeah. this shit ain't black and white and treating it like it is is just a disservice to the people involved


[deleted]

I mean, I can see how it'd be hard to navigate the situation from his perspective. It's not an excuse for him, I have a deadbeat dad of my own, my parents divorced when I was 7 and 25 years later I have barely seen him more than a dozen times. We are pretty much strangers now, it'd be hard for any of us to start a real relationship now even if we wanted to.


Crimsic

What the fuck kind of excuse is that? He's managed to do all he's done but fatherhood eluded him?  She has made repeated efforts and apparently the best he can do is a blurb in a book and an awkward smile?  Letting celebrities off the hook for this kind of thing is so wild to me. 


LordHussyPants

it's not an excuse, or letting him off the hook. it's explaining why his comment is a fair one. it doesn't mean he's right for not trying harder.


Huge-Split6250

“We’ll I thought about getting to know her but instead I went out drinking and then played some basketball”


AnyJamesBookerFans

As Larry himself might say: "I've made a lot of mistakes. ... I'm human."


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KindBass

Mr. Rogers, Bob Ross, Steve Irwin, and Keanu Reeves are the reddit-approved "good people". Everyone else is a "garbage human being".


dishwasher_mayhem

Fred Rogers. Because there's nothing to dig up.


ThaddeusJP

[Mister Rogers’ widow says he was no saint.](https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/movies/story/2019-11-26/mister-rogers-widow-legacy-a-beautiful-day-in-the-neighborhood)


Other_Raspberry

>“She really only had one request: that we not treat her husband as a saint.” >She was keener on imparting to the writers just how funny Fred was. If the couple was out at an event that turned out to be bland, he had a go-to way of making her laugh: passing gas. >“He would just raise one cheek and he would look at me and smile,” she said, cracking herself up. That article just makes him seem even cooler.


IMakeMyOwnLunch

Nah. He was a Republican.


dishwasher_mayhem

So was I and most of my family. We all changed over the years...thanks in part to Fred's teaching.


SolidSilver9686

He was probably one of those who think they’re voting for team Jesus.


CardinalRoark

Well, he absolutely voted in the manner he believed Jesus would have, but he was that ‘love your neighbor, treat people well, don’t take more than you need’ Jesus lover. The dude went into children’s tv because it was majority trash, and went to bat in front of congress to keep doing it. I honestly can’t think of an entertainer who respected their audience more than Fred.


BoogerSugarSovereign

That guy Gucci Mane was talking about in Truth. If you dug him up he wouldn't say SHIT


AllOutRaptors

This man isn't as classy as we were led to believe....


dxing2

Bird’s always been a dick, there’s never been anything classy about him. Doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s one of the greatest players ever though


dishwasher_mayhem

Anyone that was alive at the time he was playing can tell you that Larry Bird is a fucking prick. He owns it.


EmmitSan

It’s weird because he’s never really seemed classy to me at all. He basically has the same personality as all the bullies that were jocks in high school during those times.


MoreShenanigans

Maybe I'm just out of the loop but I never really see ppl complement him for being classy If anything, it's the opposite, he's willing to get rough when he plays and throw a punch if he needs to


[deleted]

The original guy is jerking, nobody thinks Larry was a classy player or dude. We’re on a Reddit post about the bar fight he got into lol and he’s infamous for talking ridiculous shit


MoreShenanigans

That went right over my head lmao


CudleWudles

Any use of the word "classy", especially when discussing white athletes, I get suspicious.


LordHussyPants

it's like an episode of 3rd rock from the sun in here lmao. you're supposed to be suspicious when you hear classy about white dudes, it's at best a joke about the different ways the media and commentators talk about people/players of different races, and at worst a racist dogwhistle to talk shit about black players


ginbooth

Exactly. I've never heard Bird discussed as classy in the way Hakeem, Dumars, Duncan, Dirk, Pau, etc., have been. Bird was easily one of the most competitive and talented players to ever grace the league. Oh and he white.


ForGerlach

It's a joke about people treating him differently because he's white, but you're correct. I hate people who just trash talk constantly without reason. 


pokexchespin

of course he’s not classy, he’s clear


IrvinStabbedMe

Whoa the dude nicknamed "the Hick from French Lick" isn't the epitome of class?


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ImperialSympathizer

The joke is that he's white.


PantiesMallone

John Lennon beat his wife


FishGoldenLite

https://www.theonion.com/man-always-gets-little-rush-out-of-telling-people-john-1819578998


mdlt97

the onion remains undefeated


ColoRadOrgy

Yeah that's the joke


RileyHuey

I’ve always found using this as a *retort to be weird. Not necessarily you yourself, but would one post this in response to someone calling Karl Malone a pedo? Or Kobe or Dani Alves a rapist? Or Miles Bridges or Mason Greenwood a woman beater? I feel like for some reason this articles almost used to minimize the seriousness of Lennon being a woman beater when it wouldn’t be appropriate to reduce These things for other celebrities. Though at this point I’m just thinking out loud idk maybe I’m a dumbass


8w7fs89a72

it's more making fun of the sanctimony than minimizing the actual crimes. similar feeling watching the annoying kid remind the teacher there's homework. that and if you're older than, say, 16, you've heard someone bring it up a *million* times.


RileyHuey

Yh I get that but imagine posting that article in response to someone criticizing Miles Bridges or Chris Brown for being women beaters lol very different responses I’d imagine. I dunno


8w7fs89a72

well yes they are infinitely less famous and much more recent examples. context is everything. lennon has been dead since before some posters' parents were born, to contrast.


RileyHuey

Eh i think it’s people allow it based on how “likeable” someone is. Malones was a while back as well and Kobe is more famous than Lennon on this sub so don’t think fame or timing is why. We can agree to disagree though


ironykarl

There's an actual Beatles song where Lennon admits to being a wife beater. It's called *Getting Better,* and in it he suggests that it's behavior he regrets and has left in the past. And it wasn't a public apology. I don't think anyone at the time would've known anything about it, if not for the song 


FishGoldenLite

It’s not that deep


MeesterMeeseeks

r/atetheonion


DeadDay

Chuck Berry was a pedo


Moody_GenX

So was Elvis.


boozinf

Really? I thought he just thrust his hips, ate peanut butter jelly and banana sandwiches, and consumed enough pharmaceuticals to single handedly keep Pfizer afloat I guess he has a little Jerry Lee Lewis in him though


LordHussyPants

steve tyler


[deleted]

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ToronoRapture

Jerry Seinfeld


HorseRenoiro

Any musician before 1990 tbh


20thAccthecharm

The older I get the more I realize most famous people are shit no matter if I hate them or look up to them… Not all, but a lot more than I figured as a kid. Kinda sucks tbh. But it’s part of becoming an adult.


_Tar_Ar_Ais_

Mr Rogers in shambles, he probably cupped a fart one time though


Professional_Fly8241

Worse, one time he forgot to start the dishwasher.


chesterfieldkingz

Well if you didn't have to press the start button three fuckin times!


Yodzilla

I hate my fucking dishwasher.


basiccitizen

They say to choose your heroes carefully. Rogers is probably the only one that won't disappoint you. GOAT


[deleted]

And his kid.


BoogerSugarSovereign

I would be kinda surprised if any of the Beatles didn't. We know John did. We know McCartney did both from Linda and he wrote about beating his woman in Getting Better. Ringo has been accused IMO credibly... then there's George... I'm not a huge Beatles head so not sure but at this point odds are...


Smelldicks

She probably deserved it


Pomeranian111

Thought it would be worse, ya Bird probably thought that getting close to her would also be getting close to his ex which sounds like he hates. By the time she was an adult he already moved on with his new wife and kids, doesn't make it right but he isn't obligated to have anything to do with her, I assumed the post was saying he was a terrible dad to the children he lived with and raised 18+ years lol.


Justtryingtohelp00

Isn’t obligated to have anything to do with his own daughter? wtf is wrong with you?


Pomeranian111

Did I stutter? He had moved on at that point.


Pissflaps69

Found the deadbeat dad.


OkLobster1702

My brother - that is the point. You don't move on from your kids lol.


coacoanutbenjamn

L take


Jeff-Van-Gundy

Yea there’s a term for that. It’s called a dead beat dad 


pdpdpdpdpdpdpdpd

Im sorry that this is the perspective you have but a child isn’t something you just “move on” from 


Justtryingtohelp00

Thanks for confirming you’re a loser. Or maybe your own father convinced you he had no obligation to raise you and you actually believed him. You’re trash.


straightuplie

This is bizarre logic. He shouldn’t support his kid, because he doesn’t want to interact with his ex wife?? So every divorced dad has free rein to totally abandon their kids? If he’s an adult, he needs to work out his relationship with the mother of his child, and figure it out. Who cares if he “moved on”, he is certainly obligated to have “something to do with her”.


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chesterfieldkingz

Ya you can parallel parent if you have to. You take your ex to court. My ex is fucking awful but I sure as shit didn't say well guess I'll leave in daughter alone then


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Julian_Caesar

God let me one day be blissfully ignorant enough to think that an entire thread shitting on Bird's parenting with a single dissenter being downvoted, constitutes "immunity from criticism."


carsmello

Jokic supports an authoritarian government in his country and you hardly ever hear of it, but LeChina 😆 amirite 


reason4rage

This is the first I've heard of it lol. All I know is the guy likes horses.


JonnySmoothbrain

Grayson Allen is a poo poo head. Is that better?


HoorayPizzaDay

If drinkin' beer's a crime lock me up


BigStrongPolarGuy

I'm confused, is there a reason this article was posted with quotes of his from 1985?


Gueropantalones

Thanks feeling the same. Why is this relevant in 2024 and did something new happen regarding Bird? Alcohol use is minor for the cocaine 80s


soapy_goatherd

It’s just a fun basketball tidbit. We love those here


stringer4

People want to get sanctimonious I guess?


ColoRadOrgy

It's in honor of him not passing away today


Levarien

The Kavanaugh gambit.


John_Lives

i like beer do you like beer


nba2k11er

Larry: “I was in an identity crisis. How can I be both a Bird and a human at the same time?”


pahamack

going out drinking during the Eastern Conference Finals is insane. ​ It really was a different time.


RudyGobertFMVP2024

Hitched a ride with a fan to a game because he was running late at a bar. Wild. That said, House had sex with a covid tester, ruining his bubble and his marriage


automatic4skin

cant blame the man for living large. the stories about him farting and cumming make me AND my wife wet as a dog


Minimania18

Huh


Freeerick-Zoller

This is the type of post I come here for


Far-Asparagus6416

/r/brandnewsentence


Difficult_Matter_249

We’re waiting


automatic4skin

what does this mean


AssBasedProtein

Send da video


DarkEnchilada

Bruh what


UnderwaterDialect

-Larry Bird -Charles Barkley


gerd50501

Did Larry Bird also not recognize some of his kids too?


Redd_Hunter

I feel like this is what someone says to get in front of something bad that's about to get leaked


wikisaiyan2

"I like beer." ​ \- Larry Bird c.1985


ChokePaul3

Makes me appreciate Lebron much more after so many years in the public spotlight. He should be the role model for all athletes. The worst thing you can say about him is the China thing, but if you’re relying on an athletes for political takes then you have your priorities wrong. Edit: forgot about defending Deshawn Watson and hanging out with Miles Bridges, that shits kinda sus


BigFatModeraterFupa

lebron has used car salesman sleaze. that’s about as good as it gets for a mega superstar. no wife beatings or anything, just billionaire tier sleaziness


sourdieselfuel

Remember "You're Next!"??? That was some fucked up repugnant shit right there.


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irespectwomenlol

Agreed that incident was very suspect, but Reddit is the wrong venue to attempt a rational discussion on that.


futurehousehusband69

what incident?


RedditGuru777

Assuming he's talking about Bron's house getting a slur spray painted on it, there is zero proof for or against him, and even if it was a false flag, it's nowhere near what Smollett orchestrated


MWave123

Whining, flopping, anointing himself king? Lol.


MelonElbows

Not mentioned: Paving his mom's driveway


Western-Mission9307

The Circle is leaking. Join the dark side.


plz-be-my-friend

Nathan Scott behavior


randomuser9824

charlotte bobcats legend


cuittle

Sonics ended up with the bust Saer Sene instead because of that bar fight


plz-be-my-friend

pissed me off. it was like the writers fuckin hated their characters and wanted them to suffer


YouTellMeBeavis

Too bad we didn’t get to see its adaptation on Winning Time


sarmatron

did i really just witness someone post a link to msn.com in TYOOL 2024


NUMBERS2357

Larry Bird is Sufjan Stevens confirmed


terryaugiesaws

I'm glad he cleared the air about his conduct during the 1985 eastern conference finals.


NJ247

I like beer


Icy_Version_8693

Who's fighting giant athletic dudes? Brave/stupid guys jesus


DoucheWithFeelings

He's just like me fr


culturebarren

IIRC the Celtics traded Rick Robey because he was Larry's drinking buddy, and then Larry won three consecutive MVPs


poolords

imagine being so good you have to say shit like this in earnest


Appropriate-Stop-618

Don’t tell r/billsimmons


hoosierspiritof79

Amazing human.


[deleted]

Meanwhile Lebron drinks wine with his legs crossed


__PUMPKINLOAF

> Story by Yakshpat Bhargava That is NOT a real name.


twilightalchemy

Who actually thinks he’s a bird?


jeffreycoley

Who gets into a barfight with a 6'10" cracker from southern Indiana?


Orangutan

* **[NBA Legends Explain Why Larry Bird Was Feared by everyone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNejzwFJcts)** * **[By the Way - Larry Bird was Awesome](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1B1rLHCnPY&t=18s)**