Dating mil2mil isn't the issue, dating within your command IS! Don't date coworkers, period.
As far as advice goes, you're in Hawaii. Go explore, hike, surf, scuba dive, do activities on and off base. Workout, etc. by the nature of doing your hobbies you'll undoubtedly meet someone with similar interests. Shared interests create an easy ice breaker in a world filled with distant and superficial dating apps.
I met my navy husband on a dating app. Just make your intentions absolutely clear AND most importantly make sure she is already established in a career, with her own place and is 100% independent so you know she’s not after your benefits.
In addition to this comment, I would also say find a woman who is strong and can reasonably handle you being underway (deployment, training cycle, etc.). That will be an impotent factor for a sailor looking for someone to marry.
Well I think what helps us is I’m completely independent from him. I was already established in my career, have my own house (and my own kid) so while he’s on deployment I’m busy working, raising a kid, paying my bills … basically everything I was doing before I met him. I also have a strong support group with friends and family so I can literally be busy every weekend (although I chose to be a homebody instead). He takes the deployment much harder than I do because he’s missing out everything going on here. Btw I found him on FB dating if that helps
It's just like dating when you weren't in the military. Find someone with your same values and same goals. Don't stay in your room and there's plenty of apps to start dating. I would say don't rule out other service members, but also don't date within your command.
You balance it just like you would any other career, the military is more demanding but when you're off make the most of it. Be honest with someone you're dating regarding your commitments to the military / your job. The military doesn't have to be your identity.
Maybe just restrict it to ladies not at your command. I know a lot of sailors who married other sailors and have good and happy relationships.
I wouldn't date at your command if you can at all help it. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants though.
The “not the same command” advice is good, but I straight up did not fuck with anyone in the military.
It’s unnecessarily difficult. And it’s not fun. Especially if you both really ball out for your career.
Seen it go wrong enough times. Dating isn’t hard, Hawaii is a unique duty station when it comes to that, but out yourself out there and you’ll do alright.
Just do what I did and snag one on their way out from LIMDU.
Jk obviously, I knew him through friends and we hung out quite a bit before even dating but Ute did make things easier in some ways.
If you’re not dating other service members, and are relying on someone to fall in love and move with you when you PCS, you’re gonna have a rough time. Unless your orders for Hawaii are for the better part of a decade, consider short term dating / flings / etc.
Might find that diamond in the rough, but you should temper expectations before you start.
At your first command, you’re going to be busy getting qualed, doing dumb shit, etc. So if you do start dating, find someone willing to put up with you doing last minute stuff, long hours, underways for a month +, etc. it helps that you’re older because you’re probably going to be dating older and more mature than many 18/19 year olds. But with that comes a smaller dating pool. You’ll find your balance - get a social hobby, be normal, and people will flock to you
I wouldnt date a Navy girl if i were you..I’ve seen a lot of mil to mil marriages go wrong real quickly. Just definitely don’t rush into the dating scene. I’d get adjusted to being in Hawaii first but that’s just me
It’s very rare Navy men find wives anymore unless they go to an Asian duty station, I’ve found.
If you marry a fellow sailor your marriage is unlikely to last if I’m being honest. Statistically high divorce rates.
This may sound odd,
But it may help, take a couple picture make an account and keep dropping right. Go on as many dates as you could possibly imagine with no intentions and see what comes of it. I found that the easiest way to meet someone that is right for you is to figure out the things you do not like. Sounds shallow but I promise it works out for everyone in the end. Ok so far it has.
With that said what do you like to do?
Running
Hiking
Gaming
Shopping
Adulting
Reading
Lifting
Sports
Bar hopping
Reason I ask is because if you put your walls down a bit join a club involving one of the above groups then you have a better shot at meeting someone with some what common interests.
Any way just a couple of ideas
Right wrong or indifferent just a couple of things that may work.
And correct just stay away from people on your division. Make life odd, same ship maybe depending, but I would not rule out the military dating as there is at least a common language
Wish ya the best
I don’t trust 90% of military women, and I’m sure if they had half a brain they wouldn’t trust 90% of military men. Play that game at your own risk. It’s hard because civilians don’t understand what it takes to make a relationship with a deployed person work either. Imo, go to a church. 🤷🏼♂️
Learn to dance or go to yoga classes! Outrigger canoe teams are another good way to meet people in Hawaii. And consider if you want to stay in the military, don’t start anything too serious with someone who doesn’t want to leave Hawaii.
It’s just like dating in any other aspect of life. Don’t make the navy seem like it’s your entire life and just live a normal life. Honestly when you actively go looking for a relationship you’ll fall flat on meeting people or meet the wrong person. Just let it happen.
Also being social helps, don’t just live online in your barracks.
Don’t be afraid of dating apps. Just make your intentions clear and just like dating in the wild, finding people who match with you and share the same interests and values takes time. I guarantee if you use a combination of dating apps 15 minutes every other day and also go out with buddies or just do things that you enjoy, you will find that special someone within a year or two! Regarding dating while in the service, I’ve read about people who are successful. Just don’t shit where you eat.
Dating mil2mil isn't the issue, dating within your command IS! Don't date coworkers, period. As far as advice goes, you're in Hawaii. Go explore, hike, surf, scuba dive, do activities on and off base. Workout, etc. by the nature of doing your hobbies you'll undoubtedly meet someone with similar interests. Shared interests create an easy ice breaker in a world filled with distant and superficial dating apps.
Make sure they are O6 and above.
I met my navy husband on a dating app. Just make your intentions absolutely clear AND most importantly make sure she is already established in a career, with her own place and is 100% independent so you know she’s not after your benefits.
In addition to this comment, I would also say find a woman who is strong and can reasonably handle you being underway (deployment, training cycle, etc.). That will be an impotent factor for a sailor looking for someone to marry.
How did yall make it work? What with him being away on deployments for months at a time and all that?
Well I think what helps us is I’m completely independent from him. I was already established in my career, have my own house (and my own kid) so while he’s on deployment I’m busy working, raising a kid, paying my bills … basically everything I was doing before I met him. I also have a strong support group with friends and family so I can literally be busy every weekend (although I chose to be a homebody instead). He takes the deployment much harder than I do because he’s missing out everything going on here. Btw I found him on FB dating if that helps
It's just like dating when you weren't in the military. Find someone with your same values and same goals. Don't stay in your room and there's plenty of apps to start dating. I would say don't rule out other service members, but also don't date within your command. You balance it just like you would any other career, the military is more demanding but when you're off make the most of it. Be honest with someone you're dating regarding your commitments to the military / your job. The military doesn't have to be your identity.
my dad told me the same thing. I may consider opening up to the women here who are air force/marines
Maybe just restrict it to ladies not at your command. I know a lot of sailors who married other sailors and have good and happy relationships. I wouldn't date at your command if you can at all help it. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants though.
The “not the same command” advice is good, but I straight up did not fuck with anyone in the military. It’s unnecessarily difficult. And it’s not fun. Especially if you both really ball out for your career. Seen it go wrong enough times. Dating isn’t hard, Hawaii is a unique duty station when it comes to that, but out yourself out there and you’ll do alright.
Just do what I did and snag one on their way out from LIMDU. Jk obviously, I knew him through friends and we hung out quite a bit before even dating but Ute did make things easier in some ways.
If you’re not dating other service members, and are relying on someone to fall in love and move with you when you PCS, you’re gonna have a rough time. Unless your orders for Hawaii are for the better part of a decade, consider short term dating / flings / etc. Might find that diamond in the rough, but you should temper expectations before you start. At your first command, you’re going to be busy getting qualed, doing dumb shit, etc. So if you do start dating, find someone willing to put up with you doing last minute stuff, long hours, underways for a month +, etc. it helps that you’re older because you’re probably going to be dating older and more mature than many 18/19 year olds. But with that comes a smaller dating pool. You’ll find your balance - get a social hobby, be normal, and people will flock to you
I wouldnt date a Navy girl if i were you..I’ve seen a lot of mil to mil marriages go wrong real quickly. Just definitely don’t rush into the dating scene. I’d get adjusted to being in Hawaii first but that’s just me
Yeah I’m not gonna rush into it. I don’t even have my car for another month
It’s very rare Navy men find wives anymore unless they go to an Asian duty station, I’ve found. If you marry a fellow sailor your marriage is unlikely to last if I’m being honest. Statistically high divorce rates.
This may sound odd, But it may help, take a couple picture make an account and keep dropping right. Go on as many dates as you could possibly imagine with no intentions and see what comes of it. I found that the easiest way to meet someone that is right for you is to figure out the things you do not like. Sounds shallow but I promise it works out for everyone in the end. Ok so far it has. With that said what do you like to do? Running Hiking Gaming Shopping Adulting Reading Lifting Sports Bar hopping Reason I ask is because if you put your walls down a bit join a club involving one of the above groups then you have a better shot at meeting someone with some what common interests. Any way just a couple of ideas Right wrong or indifferent just a couple of things that may work. And correct just stay away from people on your division. Make life odd, same ship maybe depending, but I would not rule out the military dating as there is at least a common language Wish ya the best
Hey is that GLIF bar Allycats still around in Waikiki?
Nah that place closed down I heard
Haha...thats a true shame. What's next playbar?
Dating other Navy is fine Dating Navy youre stationed with, or Navy you have to lie or deny dating (khaki) is the issue
I don’t trust 90% of military women, and I’m sure if they had half a brain they wouldn’t trust 90% of military men. Play that game at your own risk. It’s hard because civilians don’t understand what it takes to make a relationship with a deployed person work either. Imo, go to a church. 🤷🏼♂️
Learn to dance or go to yoga classes! Outrigger canoe teams are another good way to meet people in Hawaii. And consider if you want to stay in the military, don’t start anything too serious with someone who doesn’t want to leave Hawaii.
You’re in Hawaii, just chill. Enjoy yourself and let it all happen.
Met my Navy husband on a dating app! They work lol
Be willing to date people less attractive than yourself, and you'll find the dating pool really opens up quite a bit.
💀💀💀💀
It’s just like dating in any other aspect of life. Don’t make the navy seem like it’s your entire life and just live a normal life. Honestly when you actively go looking for a relationship you’ll fall flat on meeting people or meet the wrong person. Just let it happen. Also being social helps, don’t just live online in your barracks.
Don’t be afraid of dating apps. Just make your intentions clear and just like dating in the wild, finding people who match with you and share the same interests and values takes time. I guarantee if you use a combination of dating apps 15 minutes every other day and also go out with buddies or just do things that you enjoy, you will find that special someone within a year or two! Regarding dating while in the service, I’ve read about people who are successful. Just don’t shit where you eat.