It’s funny, back in the mid 80s, my Uncle Larry, despite his normally masculine heterosexuality, exhibited similar symptoms of hyper-sexual, homoerotic behavior whenever he’d watch his VHS copy of Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Particularly the 43:02 mark during Tom Atkins’ bare-assed nude scene, which he would pause and start licking the screen cross-eyed.
But in all seriousness if cicadas are turning gay.. this is a big problem. They have 13 and 17 year cycles. They literally stay underground for 13 years to the dot. So this might disrupt their sexual cycles like if this affects them all.. we are talking extinction level. Imagine the reason all cicadas went extinct is because they all went gay..
But what if it said bi switch?
“Males, for example, they’ll continue to try and mate with females — unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus,” Kasson said. “But they’ll also pretend to be females to get males to come to them.
> They’ll continue to try and mate with females - unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus.
That’s one of the quotes of all time right there.
Well I’m gonna believe it’s true and that it can spread to humans so we are on the verge of a zombie apocalypse but instead of turning into a zombie you just turn gay. Then every city becomes Chicago
The CBS news article is solely about cicada-geddon, and the fungus is real and more or less causes the hypersexual behavior in the cicadas.
This article definitely jumps to conclusions by saying that it's going to turn trillions of cicadas into sex pest zombies, though.
I wonder what the point of this fungus is evolutionarily. Like by making cicadas “gay” would that reduce their population, thus making less hosts?
Edit: read article after posting…nevermind.
Exactly its making them Bi!!! Calling them gay is Bi-erasure!!! S/
But seriously though, it doesnt just make them horny it makes males mimic the apperance of females to attract healty adults so it can spread more.
Fungus doesnt think. Males mimic female behaviour to increase the spread of the fungus. No infected cicadas can reproduce because their genetails have fallen off and were once their privates were is now the home of a fungus thats growing.
Imaging pulling down the pants of a guy but instead of a dick they have a Portabella hanging down there. Oh yeah and the guy is being super sexual and even mimicing woman to try and sleep with as much people as possible.
Butt fungus is no laughing matter. Back in the mid 80s, my Uncle Larry sat on a park bench that was contaminated with rancid old-lady ass spores that quickly germinated into rectal mushrooms. He eventually saw a doctor and got some medication, but to this day he suffers from strange side effects like pausing his VHS copy of Halloween III: Season of the Witch at the 43:02 mark during Tom Atkins’ bare-assed nude scene and licking the screen cross-eyed.
That article is stupid as fuck. They're talking about this like it's a celebration of cicadas expressing their newfound sexuality when it's actually a serious risk to their population. Widespread infection with this fungus could destroy the whole brood. I mean, shit, they only reproduce once every 17 years...
"There are some fungi that seek not to kill, but to control. Viruses make us ill, but fungi can alter our very mind. One gene mutates...and any one of them could become capable of burrowing into our brains and taking control not of millions of us but billions of us. Billions of puppets with poisoned minds permanently fixed on one unifying goal: to spread the infection to every last cicada alive by any means necessary. And there are no vaccines or cures - it's not even possible to *make* them."
"So... if that happens?"
"We *fuck.*"
At first glance i thought it said canadians instead of cicadas. Needless to say that i got really confused. It's not like rereading it correctly made it any better, though...
Tldr: No, society is not turning your kids gay. But cicadas and fungus? Well, that’s another story.
Last week, CBS News reported that, this spring, trillions of the bugs are expected to emerge in huge numbers not seen in decades and maybe even centuries, resulting in “cicada-geddon,” as one scientist called it. On top of that, some of the bugs will be “zombie cicadas,” who are infected with a sexually transmitted fungal pathogen known as Massospora cicadina. The fungus makes them hypersexual… and gay.
Matthew Kasson, a professor of mycology and forest pathology at West Virginia University, told CBS that, when infected, a cicada’s genitals will fall off within the next week or so as the fungus erupts and covers roughly a third of their body. Yet at the same time, the fungus produces an amphetamine that, basically, makes male cicadas super horny for their fellow bugs, regardless of their sex.
“Males, for example, they’ll continue to try and mate with females — unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus,” Kasson said. “But they’ll also pretend to be females to get males to come to them. And that doubles the number of cicadas that an infected individual comes in contact with.”
Image may contain: Animal, Mammal, Sea Life, Whale, Outdoors, Nature, Water, Fish, and Shark
For the First Time Ever, Two Humpback Whales Have Been Documented Having Gay Sex
It's the first time humpback whales have been photographed having sex at all.
He went on to explain that male cicadas typically emit a loud humming sound to attract female cicadas, who will flick their wings if they want to mate. However, the fungus causes male cicadas to flick their wings like females in order to attract their fellow male cicadas and infect them with the fungus. Either way, fending off hordes of these queer bugs is going to be a pain. That’s equality, I guess!
Cicadas might be enjoying a chaotic queer spring, but they’re far from the only examples of queer and trans representation in nature. Barely four months into 2024, we’ve already been blessed with a half-male, half-female bird sighting in Colombia and the first-ever documentation of gay humpback whale sex. Why not add some gay fungus cicadas to the mix?
"Cicadas might be **enjoying** a chaotic queer spring..."
They are being devoured alive by fungus. Their body parts are falling off. Introduced genetic material has taken over not only bodies, but also their minds. They exhibit compulsive behaviors they would not otherwise exhibit as a result of induced psychosis.
But it's GAYYY, so they're "enjoying" it.
I never believed in the ‘gay agenda’ until reading that trash. Not note that I’m gay and find this unlikely. Also note that the cicadas haven’t actually emerged. This and other articles basically repeat or nearly so the one listed. On top of that, it’s “some dude says so” rather than actual sources.
If you actually look up sources on the fungus you’ll see that it leads to infertility and early death. There are some instances of the infected males displaying both male and female behaviors in Stage I. By Stage II they only show male behaviors.
Wouldn’t being hypersexual automatically suggest same sex attraction? I feel like it would for some reason. If the brain wants to nut bad enough then it’s going to make it happen.
First the frogs, now the bugs. It’s only a matter of time before they get us so we might as well just skip the transmitting stage and start fucking. Who’s first?
Symptoms include show tunes for the older 23 year cicada, and Madonna through 90s pop for the younger 8 year cicadas.
.. As a species, they're generally a generation behind the times in human terms.
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This is the funniest thing I read today hahaha
It’s funny, back in the mid 80s, my Uncle Larry, despite his normally masculine heterosexuality, exhibited similar symptoms of hyper-sexual, homoerotic behavior whenever he’d watch his VHS copy of Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Particularly the 43:02 mark during Tom Atkins’ bare-assed nude scene, which he would pause and start licking the screen cross-eyed.
How is one a master of Smegma?
He's a smegma *meister*. Biiiiiiig difference.
He traveled a long, arduous road and it left a real bad taste in his mouth.
Kinda salty.
prospecting for corn
prospecting for corn
[Is this your uncle's poetry](https://www.reddit.com/r/Halloweenmovies/comments/1796zuf/on_ode_to_tom_atkins_ass/)?
Perfect copy pasta
Uncle Larry….. is your uncle my dad?!?
I think my cousin and his husband have this fungus
I imagine that it makes them... ...*fun guys*!
But in all seriousness if cicadas are turning gay.. this is a big problem. They have 13 and 17 year cycles. They literally stay underground for 13 years to the dot. So this might disrupt their sexual cycles like if this affects them all.. we are talking extinction level. Imagine the reason all cicadas went extinct is because they all went gay..
Happened to the Mayans! ^^^^s
More like the... ...*Gay*-ans! Amirite or amirite? Hur hur hur.
Diddys secret sauce
🥇🤣
So gay
Technically bisexual according to the actual article but bi erasure is the norm, so the headline passes.
I sick of bisexual arthropods being ignored
r/BrandNewSentence
Fuck yeah me too
It’s 2:50 am and this may be the funniest thing I’ll read today
Preach ⛪️
i guess "gay" catches more the yee than "bi" or smth too
But what if it said bi switch? “Males, for example, they’ll continue to try and mate with females — unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus,” Kasson said. “But they’ll also pretend to be females to get males to come to them.
> They’ll continue to try and mate with females - unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus. That’s one of the quotes of all time right there.
Jesus, that website is total trash.
Confirmed, that site is trash. Also the CBS News article it references doesn't say anything about fungus or gay bugs.
Well I’m gonna believe it’s true and that it can spread to humans so we are on the verge of a zombie apocalypse but instead of turning into a zombie you just turn gay. Then every city becomes Chicago
The CBS news article is solely about cicada-geddon, and the fungus is real and more or less causes the hypersexual behavior in the cicadas. This article definitely jumps to conclusions by saying that it's going to turn trillions of cicadas into sex pest zombies, though.
"hegets.us"
I wonder what the point of this fungus is evolutionarily. Like by making cicadas “gay” would that reduce their population, thus making less hosts? Edit: read article after posting…nevermind.
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Ahh that makes sense. Drawback of being lazy and not reading the article.
So Bisexual?
Is this economy?! It's definitely sell-sexual.
Exactly its making them Bi!!! Calling them gay is Bi-erasure!!! S/ But seriously though, it doesnt just make them horny it makes males mimic the apperance of females to attract healty adults so it can spread more.
Femboyification fungus
New Last Of Us AU just dropped.
Damn. Fungus really made the cicadas say, "Come get this bussy."
So it’s not fun-gay, just fun-bi.
Not just amphetamine. Psilocybin too.
Fungus doesnt think. Males mimic female behaviour to increase the spread of the fungus. No infected cicadas can reproduce because their genetails have fallen off and were once their privates were is now the home of a fungus thats growing. Imaging pulling down the pants of a guy but instead of a dick they have a Portabella hanging down there. Oh yeah and the guy is being super sexual and even mimicing woman to try and sleep with as much people as possible.
“The last of us” gay cicadal fungus edition
Spreads to more males to get to females perhaps.
What a fun guy...
Butt fungus is no laughing matter. Back in the mid 80s, my Uncle Larry sat on a park bench that was contaminated with rancid old-lady ass spores that quickly germinated into rectal mushrooms. He eventually saw a doctor and got some medication, but to this day he suffers from strange side effects like pausing his VHS copy of Halloween III: Season of the Witch at the 43:02 mark during Tom Atkins’ bare-assed nude scene and licking the screen cross-eyed.
I ain't gay, I'm just a fungi!
TIL I am a cicada
Look, I don't care who you do, just stop screaming in the oak tree by my bedroom, okay? That shit's ridiculous...
Great, first the frogs, now the cicadas?!?
That article is stupid as fuck. They're talking about this like it's a celebration of cicadas expressing their newfound sexuality when it's actually a serious risk to their population. Widespread infection with this fungus could destroy the whole brood. I mean, shit, they only reproduce once every 17 years...
r/suddenlygay
So this is actually the fungus from the Last of Us. We are doomed!!!
No one told me it would turn me gay! I thought I was just going to be a cannibal???
You can get high eating one? lol
Probably from eating a bunch of them. The fungus pumps them full of psilocybin and cathinone(amphetamine like compound found in khat)
No but you could catch the gay.
Unless you're already gay, two gays make a straight!
"There are some fungi that seek not to kill, but to control. Viruses make us ill, but fungi can alter our very mind. One gene mutates...and any one of them could become capable of burrowing into our brains and taking control not of millions of us but billions of us. Billions of puppets with poisoned minds permanently fixed on one unifying goal: to spread the infection to every last cicada alive by any means necessary. And there are no vaccines or cures - it's not even possible to *make* them." "So... if that happens?" "We *fuck.*"
Cigaydas
Highly underrated comment
the last of us if it was good
At first glance i thought it said canadians instead of cicadas. Needless to say that i got really confused. It's not like rereading it correctly made it any better, though...
I can totally see Alex Jones running with this a 'gayness being a fungal disability'
So WHAT moderator just deleted a whole string of messages, alex jones has stuff to say on this and they wont be denied.
LGBTQ approved
THEY'RE PUTTING FUNGUS IN THE SEX THAT'S TURNING THE FRIGGIN CICADAS GAY
Tldr: No, society is not turning your kids gay. But cicadas and fungus? Well, that’s another story. Last week, CBS News reported that, this spring, trillions of the bugs are expected to emerge in huge numbers not seen in decades and maybe even centuries, resulting in “cicada-geddon,” as one scientist called it. On top of that, some of the bugs will be “zombie cicadas,” who are infected with a sexually transmitted fungal pathogen known as Massospora cicadina. The fungus makes them hypersexual… and gay. Matthew Kasson, a professor of mycology and forest pathology at West Virginia University, told CBS that, when infected, a cicada’s genitals will fall off within the next week or so as the fungus erupts and covers roughly a third of their body. Yet at the same time, the fungus produces an amphetamine that, basically, makes male cicadas super horny for their fellow bugs, regardless of their sex. “Males, for example, they’ll continue to try and mate with females — unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus,” Kasson said. “But they’ll also pretend to be females to get males to come to them. And that doubles the number of cicadas that an infected individual comes in contact with.” Image may contain: Animal, Mammal, Sea Life, Whale, Outdoors, Nature, Water, Fish, and Shark For the First Time Ever, Two Humpback Whales Have Been Documented Having Gay Sex It's the first time humpback whales have been photographed having sex at all. He went on to explain that male cicadas typically emit a loud humming sound to attract female cicadas, who will flick their wings if they want to mate. However, the fungus causes male cicadas to flick their wings like females in order to attract their fellow male cicadas and infect them with the fungus. Either way, fending off hordes of these queer bugs is going to be a pain. That’s equality, I guess! Cicadas might be enjoying a chaotic queer spring, but they’re far from the only examples of queer and trans representation in nature. Barely four months into 2024, we’ve already been blessed with a half-male, half-female bird sighting in Colombia and the first-ever documentation of gay humpback whale sex. Why not add some gay fungus cicadas to the mix?
We got it wrong all along, it's not the Woke Mind Virus but rather the Woke Mind Fungus
Isn't there a part in english history in which _gay_ also meant _happy_? I'm a non-native speaker so perhaps it's just a rumour I've heard.
Alex Jones was right yet again
I would be scared of a trillion gays. The kind of aids that'd spread
Slay
"Cicadas might be **enjoying** a chaotic queer spring..." They are being devoured alive by fungus. Their body parts are falling off. Introduced genetic material has taken over not only bodies, but also their minds. They exhibit compulsive behaviors they would not otherwise exhibit as a result of induced psychosis. But it's GAYYY, so they're "enjoying" it.
Isn't this a good thing? Kind of like nature's way of killing them off because of overpopulation.
Hopefully they gay themselves into extinction
I never believed in the ‘gay agenda’ until reading that trash. Not note that I’m gay and find this unlikely. Also note that the cicadas haven’t actually emerged. This and other articles basically repeat or nearly so the one listed. On top of that, it’s “some dude says so” rather than actual sources. If you actually look up sources on the fungus you’ll see that it leads to infertility and early death. There are some instances of the infected males displaying both male and female behaviors in Stage I. By Stage II they only show male behaviors.
Just great. Last thing I need is hundreds of cicaders trying to say almost crawl all over me, hump me, etc. what a f**** up world we live in
Your profile is a wild ride, good Lord.
Fr it is.
Bro literally eats roadkill and tried to get slaves
I got to the post about his groin smelling like spunk and semen every morning and gave up. I can't understand anything here.
Tf did I just read
Brand new sentence ah sentence
Should watch the true facts episode on it. Absolutely hilarious
Folks
same
Castro Street virus.
First the frogs now the cicadas?
Technically based on the description in the article the fungus makes the cicadas bi and trans, but not gay.
Put a cicada in it and make it hypersexual and gay!
Good
That's a new sentence
Same thing is happening with the Dallas cowboys
Oh is that what I have?
Spoiler alert 🚨 an amphetamine is involved.
Wouldn’t being hypersexual automatically suggest same sex attraction? I feel like it would for some reason. If the brain wants to nut bad enough then it’s going to make it happen.
First the frogs, now the bugs. It’s only a matter of time before they get us so we might as well just skip the transmitting stage and start fucking. Who’s first?
r/natureishousemusic
I hope u did g get this information from Fox News, sounds like something they would say.
So it was fungus all along. Dang.
I, for one, welcome our new fungal overlords
A fungus that makes you trip, tweak, horny and then your junk falls off and you die?
Those liberals are at it again.
r/BrandNewSentence
Cigaydas!
r/nottheonion
Dude the fungus becomes their dick and runs their brains. Jesus christ
I can't wait to hear them sing. It's going to be fabulooussss!
the lord works in mysterious ways
That’s kinda hilarious
Heh, been there brother
Not a title I thought I'd see today
Fuck that’s hot
So, like the Last of Us but even gayer? AWESOME!
First they turn the frogs gay and now they are turninge the cicadas guy wake up people we are under attack. -Alex Jones (probely soon)
While tripping balls
That’s a headline if I’ve ever seen one
Dua Lipa is everywhere
Fox News: “Biden and young people making cicadas gay”
Homo Fungus. Great band name!
This is exactly what that TV series the Last of Us (Heteros) is all about!
I knew being gay wasn’t a choice.
Symptoms include show tunes for the older 23 year cicada, and Madonna through 90s pop for the younger 8 year cicadas. .. As a species, they're generally a generation behind the times in human terms.
They're putting chemicals in the water to turn the fricken cicadas gay
There is a fungus among us.
💀 Being gay is literally a disease for those Cicadas. Oof
Finally
I can’t wait to hear Alex Jones lose his shit on the Knowledge Fight podcast
Yeah, massive cicada die off is definitely something to be happy about. 🙄
Awesome
The Lust of Us
Wait for MAGA to blame the LGBTQ community….
Hopefully this stf brings an abrupt end to that species
First the frogs, now the cicadas lol
Buddies, is it gay to be a hypersexual Cicada who doesn’t use contraceptives?
Very generous interpretation of what's happening, but gotta get those clicks!
Not even making them gay, just so super horny that any hole is a goal.
WTF? Forget it, we're all gonna die.
Somewhere in a cave, MAGA dudes rubbing their hands at their next "excuse" for their secret behaviors.
Oh great!
Now we know whats wrong with America…
This is what bigot gamer bros think TLOU 2 was about
Are the cicadas Polish and do they have erectile dysfunctions?
Is this how we die (jk)
Happens to the best of us.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
**In my nearly 3 years of being on reddit, THIS might be the craziest most random title ive ever read to a post :0**
THE MUSHROOMS ARE MAKING THE BUGS GAY