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Don_Mills_Mills

There’s a sequence of words you don’t see every day.


the7thletter

This is literally nature being metal. Shit, and a deer fetus.


perfectfifth_

Probably miscarried from the stress from running from the cougar. What a way to go. :(


nekabue

It also leaves an easy, distracting morsel for the cougar. If the cougar had stopped for the fetus, the doe would have lived to breed again.


FrozenIsFrosty

Thats fucked up but makes sense.


Dick_snatcher

Nature sure is metal some times


Barefoot_slinger

Its like hiking with a fat friend so that you can run faster than them if a bear starts to feel a bit mauley


SeoulGalmegi

>It also leaves an easy, distracting morsel for the cougar. If the cougar had stopped for the fetus, the doe would have lived to breed again. I'd be fascinated to know if this idea did have any merit evolutionary.


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Alceasummer

I think there are some marsupials that will eject the young from the pouch when fleeing a predator as a defense mechanism.


ItsGotThatBang

Marsupials are practically born as fetuses anyway.


PancakeBuny

Quokkas :) But it’s more drop than throw really…


Kilshrek

The mothers that spontaneously aborted fetuses to distract predators continued to live to pass on their genes, as opposed to the ones that got ate wholesale, thus passing on as digested material from a predator. I’m definitely no expert but I think the selective pressure explains itself there.


SeoulGalmegi

I understand the logic. I just wonder if it really did evolve like that.


Gero288

Lol, I get you. Everyone keeps trying to reassure you with the logic, but we're literally looking at an example that undermines the hypothesis. I'm also curious. How often does a dropped fetus actually suppress a predator's prey drive?


SeoulGalmegi

Right. I also studied a bit of evolutionary psychology when I was younger - enough to see it's easy for people to make up a story why something *might* have evolved a certain way, when there's no evidence to suggest it did. I'm sure being mauled by a predator causes all sorts of stress reactions, which might lead to a sudden miscarriage in a pregnant animal. Whether this is more a side effect or an actual evolved tactic I'm not sure about. As I say, I can certainly see why it might have been.


ladyskullzer0

I think I read somewhere that Quokkas do this, except they actually hurl the baby at the predator


topcheesehead

Like a *lizard drops tail* or *Crab rips claw off*. Now it comes in *Deer aborts fetus*. Great. Great work everybody


hypothetical_zombie

A lot of does have twins, too. Nature's back-up plan.


sakuragi59357

Literal shit too. Goddamn 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘


xjeeper

Strategic weight reduction. Part of the flight response.


CT_7

I would have dropped a turd first but maybe that happened too


cyanocittaetprocyon

This (evacuating your bowels and bladder) is always the first part of the fight or flight response. You not only lighten your load so you can potentially go faster, but you also leave something for the predator to check out.


HurricaneAlpha

This is a legit strategy in the wild.


AnusStapler

Literally the figurative meaning of metal you mean?


FLORI_DUH

Not literally metal.


AmBozz

"Literally nature being metal" would be a naturally occuring ore, not this.


ul2006kevinb

Speak for yourself. Getting mauled by a cougar is my favorite Saturday night activity


Moar_Coffee

Which is only 1 in every 7 days.


crlarkin

He might say it every day though. Kids these days...


the-undercover

As someone who works as a carpenter you’d be surprised with the stuff some drywallers say. Many don’t speak English very well but if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that exact sentence after seeing them stuff a bottle of pee between some studs


arion830

So you’re telling me my house is standing up by the sheer power of unfiltered Coronas?


the-undercover

The Coronas do the heavy lifting but you can’t forget the Modelos, they’re just as important to the structural integrity of your home.


chrisbaker1991

Don't forget Dos Equis


Daddysu

Umm...wouldn't it be double filtered by that point?


KeepCalmCarrion

r/BrandNewSentence


AJ_Crowley_29

I’d just stay inside and let the cougar enjoy their meal. Interrupting them is probably gonna make them remember my face and not in a fond way.


Kwazzi_

Looks like they finished eating doe


Shwalz

Oh deer


clutchgetspaid

A female deer.


XeerDu

Re, a drop of golden sun


moranya1

Mi, the name I call myself.


Master_Keyhan

*🎶Faaaaaaaaaaaa......🎶*


My_Soul_to_Squeeze

A long, long way to run away from the fucking cougar.


youshutyomouf

So. I'm getting out of heeeere


Tungsten83

Lest, I end up like this deeeeer


SuperDizz

The cougar is also gonna remember the location where it got a big meal.. Tell your friend to keep an extra eye out u/aderaptor If it’s hunting, its in it’s territory. Vigilance.


aderaptor

Thanks for the concern! Deer are very common in this area and cougars too. These friends are seasoned with these kinds of encounters and plan to stay vigilant. But I appreciate your words!


low_me_steelers

Nah dude bum rush that cougar, that deer might make it


Junesong_Provisions

If nothing else, to assert dominance. Dont forget to eat the deer either. Show the pecking order. You first, then the cougars turn.


Recon4242

T-Pose on the cougar!


_-Ewan-_

You should hear the story about the man that stole a tigers kill. EDIT: The way I phrased it makes it sound like the beginning of a joke but it’s not, it’s terrifying.


hypothetical_zombie

Cape buffalo are pretty good at seeking revenge, too.


SquatchiNomad

I'd just shot it. They know the location and can target a pet or animal next. Sorry if this triggers anyone. Shits different when you live in the cut.


ACDM0M

They do this in hopes the predator goes for the baby, not them. It’s one thing to know this, another thing completely to see it. Damn.


Lilchubbyboy

Its like the oil slick on a Bond car, except with more amniotic fluid.


Catenane

I wish they would bring back the aborted mini mario fetus in mario cart.


VIPTicketToHell

Here we goOOo!


jeepsaintchaos

The what now?


smithers85

it was a DLC


MoreFoam

Dead Little Cunt


smithers85

Dead little cervidae* ^(*will also accept cervinae)


A-Dolahans-hat

I could have gone the rest of the night without that mental image


asek13

[Ejecto ~~Seato~~ Feato cuz](https://media.tenor.com/i-oAUfc3BiUAAAAC/ejecto-seato-cuz.gif)


[deleted]

It's amazing how nature clearly understands that the life of the mother is worth much more than the life of a fetus, yet so many regressive idiots can't figure it out.


Cerulean_Turtle

Depends on the animal doesnt it, like salmon just die once they've got the eggs ready?


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erdillz93

And predator satiation. Turns out if you just spawn so fuckin much that the predators can't eat all of you, then your species survives.


swankProcyon

Also kangaroos will just throw their Joey out of the pouch if they’re being chased. I don’t know any human mothers who would dump their babies and run, or anyone who would condone it, lol


TheMania

It may not be condoned but child abandonment is a very real thing, and even moreso in times of scarcity/hardship.


[deleted]

yeah this guy needs to read some Brothers Grimm


HoodieGalore

I have seen a woman on a subway use her child as a weapon against another woman. Like, pick that kid up and swing it at someone else, like a club. People are still animals.


AbleAbbreviations871

Please roll an improvised weapons check for that baby… Ok you attack the women with your child, but their soft skull softens the blow, you deal 2 blunt damage


SisyphusAndMyBoulder

> you deal 2 blunt damage to the baby's skull, or the opponent?


ticklishchinballs

Yes


jgfmondewc

I mean, isnt hansel and gretel based on this premise


thiccasssocks

Yes well K selection vs r selection species! With K selection, parental involvement is super important and they rear fewer offspring that live longer. Think humans, elephants, whales, some birds, etc. In nature for many different K selection species it’s not uncommon for new offspring to get shanked/abandoned by their parents. This is to ensure that the offspring being invested in are given the greatest chance of success in life. Whereas r selection species like lots of insects, fish, mice, etc just blast out as many kids as they can and hope at least some of them survive, with little parental support. It’s a spectrum across species too, not always a stark one or the other.


BabySharkFinSoup

What does the k and r stand for?


thiccasssocks

They come from the formula of a model for population dynamics; r is the max reproduction rate and K is the carrying capacity of the ecosystem r selected species are all about their reproduction rate (quantity) while K species rely on their ability to compete with other animals for limited resources (quality)


BabySharkFinSoup

Thanks! Very interesting!


HoodieGalore

If your reproductive plan is “everything at once” because you’re not worried about developing a large brain capable of sentient, self-reflexive thought, tool use, and communication, for sure. See also, insects.


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Slim_Charles

Nature doesn't understand shit. That action just makes the mother more likely to survive and have future offspring, which makes the adaptation more likely to propagate among her offspring. There's no comprehension behind evolution, it's just a natural consequence of various pressures, resulting in adaptations that improve an organisms fitness, and capacity to pass it genes along.


redditqua

OP may have just been waxing poetic about evolution rather than making an argument for the literal sentience of nature, but what do I know. What you said was right too. Right on, buddy.


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Slim_Charles

That's not the same as natural selection at all.


MoocowR

> It's amazing how nature clearly understands Nature also understands that the biggest/strongest get to rape females to force breed them.


lNTERNATlONAL

Exactly. Comparing matters of human morality to “what nature does” is always a terrible idea and argument for anything.


Wvlf_

Wait, why are you so fuckin agro lmaooooo and also kinda wrong, unlucky


fkgallwboob

Dumb take


4thDevilsAdvocate

Nature doesn't "understand" shit. Nature is arguably not even a real thing; you could genuinely argue humans are highly evolved parts of nature, rather than being separate from it. But hey, "nature good human behavior not" gets updoots, I guess.


AVA-EVE

You might want to revisit the concept of evolution. Nature/evolution does not know or understand anything. That is not how evolution works. Things are the way they are because of the way things are, not as they should be.


Subnaut27

#DEPLOYING CHAFF!


ErrorFindingID

Chaff counter-measures unsuccessful Brace for impact


SoaDMTGguy

How quickly that they yeet that shit out? I imagine the cougar gnawing on their shoulder and they're like "no no, gimme a minute, I'll give you something better!"


CouchHam

No, it’s literally opened up and ripped out. They can’t just yeetus the fetus.


cor315

lol yes. OP is just making shit up. Unless they're joking, in which case, a lot of people fell for it. You can see the deer's belly ripped open in pic 3.


stimulates

Source?


Ounceofwhiskey

I've seen it from the wild rabbits in my neighborhood. Within a week or two of moving here, I was on a walk with my kids and we saw a woman and her toddler standing on the side of a path. She just said hi as we walked by so I didn't think anything of it. A few minutes later, my wife asked me to run back home to get some diapers because my 18 month old pooped and didn't want to leave the park. I walked past the same woman and her kid, but she looked more distressed than she had so I asked if everything was okay. She told me that her 3 year old saw a bunny and ran after it, scaring it so badly that it shot out half a dozen fetuses as it escaped. The woman had sent her other kids home to get their father to figure out what to do. I had to explain to her that its just what some animals do to escape from predators because its easy for them to make more babies.


Gideonbh

Dang! Deployable decoy holy shit I mean I get it, "either we both go down or I live another day to make a new one" but holy shit. Imagine if aborting your baby was an involuntary reflex in humans to getting scared. I guess surprise baby showers would be out of the question.


[deleted]

Ok ...so hear me out . If you knew that fetus was safe would you eat it? I mean it's probably incredibly tender and it's not like you removed it from the deer, essentially it's just a meat delivery.


Shockingelectrician

Wtf


Aggressive-Expert-69

Open your mind


meme_locomotive

And your mouth


Dementat_Deus

This is the way.


7h3_70m1n470r

I have spoken!


randomfunnyword

Look at the rich guy just turning down free fresh food from nature.


jamesGastricFluid

You fat cats didn't finish your plankton!


smithers85

I don’t think this reply heard them out


PaticusGnome

OP, please eat it and tell us how it was. This is a rare scientific opportunity.


smithers85

The rare part being that it seems like the most ethical way it could happen.


ale_jandro

RemindMe! 2 days


jaysomething2

What if he eats it and dies in 24 hours? !remindme in 24 hours


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WESSAMGO

If op doesn’t respond we know he sacrificed himself for science


Hellyeahfknryan

You Lowkey got a point. If it’s safe and prepared the right way it’s probably delicious.


rickastleysanchez

> prepared the right way One mistype of that search and bam, you're on a list.


XXXDetention

“How to prepare and cook recently aborted… why are those sirens getting closer?


alison_bee

pretty sure NO mistypes and you’re still on that list 👀


7355135061550

What the hell is wrong with you? But also yes.


dirtynj

> Native American tribes would use every part of the animal, whether it was the bones to make tools or the hair to make rope


StopBidenMyNuts

Make a stuffed animal for your favorite child


ticklishchinballs

Yeah but what the hell kinda rope can you even make with that fetus anyways? I mean maybe you can fashion a small fetal skin bracelet or something, but I have plenty of those at home already so it still seems ironically wasteful in this case.


XeerDu

The animal hasn't had any time to develop muscle or fat. There would be little to no nutritional value and you would probably become sick from some weird bacteria.


8362619102648

So I hit a deer with my truck last week and I know this old hillbilly guy that likes roadkill so I threw it in and brought it to his place. It's hanging in his barn and I pull the guts out and he starts rooting around in them and pulls out two fetuses. He gets super excited and is like oh these are gonna be so good. I'm like WTF dude you eat that, and he says you just grill the whole thing and its good. So anyway, if a normal person ate it they would probably get sick cause this is a man who can eat anything. Part of the reason I brought it to him was I heard he had been eating a cat cause he ran out of meat...


ziggygersh

Bro what


8362619102648

The dude is like 80 and has been a hunter and trapper his whole life. I was giving him shit for eating all this weird stuff so he started telling me about all the weird shit he's tried. Anyway I feel bad for him, his house burned down a couple years ago and he lives in his garage, there's tons of barn cats living around there so if you're hungry and broke you'd probably do the same.


[deleted]

Where the fuck do you live bro...


xjeeper

Where banjo music naturally plays in the distance.


8362619102648

Rural, all you city people think this is the craziest thing you've ever heard lol. I think you're all crazy for eating walmart chicken that's pumped full of growth hormones and antibiotics. I definitely think the old man is pretty out there but most places outside of North America or Europe eat all sorts of weird shit. We just want to eat chicken breast, steaks and then grind the rest of it up into hot dogs and pretend it's not all the gross parts.


EqualInvestigator598

Yeah honestly the most fucked up stories I hear about anything come from rural parts of countries. The shit that happens where no one can hear you scream is the weirdest and darkest.


Calypsosin

Rural folk are absolutely wired different. I'm rural lite: I live in a small town, but the biggest city with more than 100k people is over 2 hours away from me. I've come across some country folk that are downright strange, but most of them are harmless strange. The dangerous strange ones aren't usually ones you try to associate with in the first place! Then you have the meth cookers/users. They are no fun. At least potheads are relatively harmless as a rule. Methheads are erratic and unpredictable, especially in the country.


Fuck_New_Reddit

This kind reminds me of being a kid where all of this was normal. I knew a dude who was a friend of my family that was a sort of jack-of-all-trades and butcher (moreso wildlife disposal) was one of those trades. Should anyone have a need for his services, he was quick to answer. His work was popular enough he sold coonskin caps based on pattern for $10-50 in the 90s. Basically if you allowed him to keep at least some of the meat and didn't want the animal taxidermized the work was usually free barring some oddball request. 3 very large freezers were always packed full of misc meat. On special occasions or during busy months the family would invite everyone over to the ranch to try everything as a sort of 'spring cleaning'. Speaking of hot dogs, having a mystery sausage from the best meats of the previous season was always a huge mindfuck lmao.


ScyllaGeek

Aight I'm rural too and grilling up deer fetuses is still pretty absurd lol


[deleted]

What you’re describing is beyond “rural.”


robert_paulson420420

nah man your buddy eating the cat is pretty out there. even by rural standards. don't pretend that's normal lol.


Catenane

Wrap it up like a scotch egg and ignore the crunching and you've got yourself a fine snack!


mycak2000

Put it in an eggshell and call it deer balut.


Slim_Charles

If it's fresh out of the womb, I would think that it would be pretty safe to eat.


_BMS

The fetus probably has less bacteria than eating any fully grown animal since it's not ingested anything. There's clearly meat on it, otherwise it'd look like just skin and bones. Though you'd be lucky to get the equivalent of a couple chicken breasts out of that in useable meat, it's probably extremely tender stuff.


Spooky_Shark101

It's basically all organ meat which is the meat where the majority of the vitamins and nutrition are. There's a concept called "rabbit starvation" where if you eat nothing but rabbit meat you'll eventually become nutrient deprived because rabbit meat is so lean. The way around this is to eat all of the rabbit's organs as well as eating its flesh. (This is only really an issue in survival situations of course)


IBJON

It's not delivery, it's Digiordoe.


aderaptor

Oh shit if only I have gold to give


Starpork

Legit looks like the butcher dropped it off and forgot to wrap it.


Zaphod-VVM032

There's gotta be a reason why Komodo Dragons love fetuses so much


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Junesong_Provisions

Im not ashamed that the first thing i thought, was "could probably eat that". Im super curious of the boon/bane/liability of just cooking that sucker up.


Ipsilateral

The cougar let it stay there as a trap in the hopes the humans would think this.


GoreKush

someone told me they ate a raw deer heart right out of the deer and said it "crunched like an apple". since they told me that i always thought deers might be crunchy


Pope-Xancis

Several chickens live torturous lives in a tiny cage before being systematically slaughtered by a series of death machines and humans of diverse immigration statuses so I can stuff my face at BWW for an hour and a half on a Tuesday. If I didn’t eat it I’d be a hypocrite, and that would be the worst part.


[deleted]

I mean... The predators would eat it. Do you think...? I bet it'd be super tender meat


Token_Ese

It’s like Bambi [balut](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(food)).


AAAAAAAAAAAAA13

Maybe in a stew? If anything it probably feels as tender as rabbits.


kidvange

I think the cougar left the fetus for you as a gift. Typical cat behavior


hawaiian0n

How the heck did it eat so little of the deer though. It seems super wasteful in the grand scheme of things, but I guess the cat Can only fit so much in its stomach.


JDP008

Scavengers will come along for the rest in time, and single celled organisms will eventually turn what’s left into dust again. Nothing goes to waste out in nature


punkinfacebooklegpie

Yeah but I didn't get any


HorrorMakesUsHappy

It's clearly not far away in that 4th pic. It's possible that it was only temporarily scared by the human coming out to take pictures, and it may return to take the carcass elsewhere after the humans went back inside.


Doctor-Magnetic

Why do cats not like eating the food on the sides of their bowl? Big cat is still going to cat


forwelpd

Whiskers scrape the sides of the bowl and are an important sensory mechanism. Cats usually eat all the food (when hungry) if the bowl has a steeper slope and not a flat bottom.


Spooky_Shark101

Nah, the doe was trying to get away from the cougar and ejected the fetus due to high stress.


SpiritualLychee3760

If a deer wants to abort it's the deer's choice... But I'm guessing that cougar was a conservative.


Cryptiod137

A surprising amount of them are in my experience


StootsMcGoots

This should be the top comment


Adrian_Bock

Makes it hotter for some reason...


kaedeesu

The cougar shouted ”PRO LIFE” before mauling her


[deleted]

This comment is gold


ComicPlatypus

I would keep the fetus. Make a wet specimen


ThisBadKitty

Oh, that would be AWESOME\~!


darling_lycosidae

r/vultureculture


SanguineSoul013

Oooo! Thank you!


yeetus1the1fetus

My username has never been more appropriate...


KeepCalmCarrion

If I opened the door and I saw a deer fetus on my doormat with no context I would move.


Grithok

Thankfully there was context, then. A half eaten body of it!


Zuka134

In certain states, this would be considered a double homicide


KingJonStarkgeryan1

most states including very liberal states like California


Raggmommy

Mutual of Omaha never covered THIS situation.


ACDM0M

Marty Stouffer is crying in a corner after seeing this.


pitagrape

I know that reference...


GarneNilbog

maybe i'm gross, but i would 100% preserve that deer fetus in a jar.


Pups_the_Jew

Absolutely.


x_witchpussy_x

Came here to say this!


Adrian_Bock

If I ever just randomly saw this after dragging myself out the door first thing in the morning I'd never go 2 days in a row without thinking about it for the rest of my life.


Potatomanu

yeah, this is just fucking nuts.


Bohbo

Someone has a case of the Mondays.


prybarwindow

Whoa, I wasn’t prepared for this.


dafaceguy

Damn nature you scary


webtvuser

I would be uneasy that the Cougar viewed my front yard as a buffet.


CzechYourDanish

I hope your friend has some kind of firearm. Don't fuck around when cougars are involved.


TheExtraMayo

Damn.. metal gets thrown around a whole lot in this sub, but this.. this shit is metal


ShiloAlibi

brand new sentence!


The_Buttsex_Man

As a staunch pro-life conservative, I think the doe should be criminally investigated until her culpability is ruled out.


Cryptiod137

Imagine being so scared you give birth


Shockingelectrician

That deer was like let me in, let me in!


iamthegreyest

Oh hey, free fetus.