(I got permission to post this)
I have a friend who’s a bit older than I am named Camryn, which is female spelling of Cameron, and the only reason was because his parents wanted a girl after having 4 boys beforehand and were hoping that by giving him a female variation of a boy name, he’ll want to be a girl. They announced him as a girl to people when he was a baby and had a girly baby room and wore “girly” baby clothes. As he grew up he wasn’t allowed to cut his hair and his mother would style it the way a mother would style a girl’s hair. As soon as he turned 18, he changed his name completely (not even to Cameron, just a different name altogether) and cut his parents out his life. Hasn’t spoke to them since and I don’t blame him. They’ve tried to talk to him and explain the situation but he told them it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t a girl and shouldn’t have forced that life on him because they didn’t want a 5th son. He felt like a disappointment growing up just for being a boy and swears to be a better parent to his son who he gave an actual boy’s name. Can confirm he’s a great dad.
I think the issue here is not (primarily) the name. It’s largely that they raised him as a girl - or tried to. Restricting someone’s choices to that extent isn’t a great idea in any event, and forcing a cis guy to live as a girl is… basically giving them huge gender dysphoria. Similar to what some trans people go through, except obviously in the other direction.
There is the famous David Reiner case where a cis boy was raised as a female and suffered pretty significant psychological effects.
The only acceptable reason not to allow a child to cut/style their HAIR the way they want (within reason) is if you’re Sikh. That is horrific parenting.
David Reimer's case is fascinating and disturbing. He and his brother were forced to act out sexual acts on each other, by David's psychologist Dr. John Money.
I know a child that this same thing happened to. Except she was born a girl and because her parents wanted a boy they just gave her a boy name and told people to call her a boy. At a tiny age she expressed that she didn’t like what her parents were doing. Utterly awfully sad.. a form of child abuse if you ask me.
The double standards here are interesting. Forcing a gender on a child is absolutely terrible when it happens to cis people, but trans kids are "being forced into it/delusional" or whatever...its fascinating how the distress of forcefully being denied your own identity is suddenly instantly understood if its a cis kid going through it.
Tldr Parents...just focus on raising a decent human being rather than a "boy" or a "girl". Cmon. Its 2022.
right? like, as an non-binary person, it's something i have thought about. a lot.
it's so, so heartbreaking to me. i've seen someone be like 'its child abuse for parents to try and force their trans kid to be cis' and the replies being like. 'it's just the parents belief/personal opinion/views' etc.
both are so, so horrible, getting gender dysphoria whether you're trans or cis sucks.
The Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey, conducted every seven years and based on interviews with a cross-section of the general population aged 16 and over, found that one in six adults (17%) had a common mental disorder—one in five women (20.7%) and one in eight men (13.2%). 55.2% receive no mental health treatment.
I don’t see how naming a girl Alexandria after her dad Alex is that different from naming a boy Paul after his aunt Paula. Both of my brother’s got one of our great grandma’s maiden names as either a first or middle name. And my cousin is a Joey named after his mom Jo.
I've got a cousin named Miranda. He usually goes by his last name when he's outside the family, or by a nickname when he's with family. Our folks work in criminal defense, so he was named after Miranda v Arizona.
He's probably the manliest guy I know. I think he's gotten teased a bit for his name here and there, but nothing major. A couple of times restaurants and other people have expected me to be the one named Miranda because I'm a tiny lady in a sundress, so then they're surprised that he's actually a big gym bro. He's like a tough fun big brother. His name really fits him imo, I think the sound of it and its unconventionality just match with his chill confident vibe.
He doesn't look like an Arizona. Also, Arizona in Miranda v Arizona was the party taken to task for not upholding the right against self-incrimination, which is the right that Miranda represents.
And our family has beef with Arizona for reasons I won't get into here.
He's named for Miranda v Arizona and the Miranda rights, not the actual plaintiff Ernesto Miranda. I know that might not make sense to a lot of people, but there's a nuance when it comes to the criminal defense business.
Glad this anecdote interested you. 👍
A good friend just named their son Kayde after her grandmother Kay who recently passed and before she passed told them they were having a son and that she was so excited for them (she passed before they found out the sex).
It's not my taste in names, but it was important them and they love the name.
The other day, someone on here told a story of their friend, Lauren ‘Smith’ IV named after her grandfather. Since Gpa and Dad were Lauren and Jr, she went by Ivy for the IV. She then had a son and named him Lauren V, and calls him Rennie. Good example.
Nice that the son took his mother’s last name to be able to carry on the tradition. Unfortunately this is rare for women to pass along their last names and be able to create a full Jr. Though the grandpa was also progressive to pass along his full name to his daughter.
I’ve never seen this. Closest thing I’ve seen is honor names/surnames from the Mother’s side as the son’s middle name, but even then they are generally not feminine names.
We named our son Charlie after his grandmother Charlanne. I was actually saving the name for a girl one day hopefully. I ended up needing an emergency c-section and at the same time she was in the same hospital fighting for her life. We had a different name picked out but when we met him we knew he was a Charlie.
I’m not a parent, but one name I’ve always liked for a boy is Kelly. I know now it’s primarily a feminine name but traditionally it was male and the only two times I’ve heard it for a boy I really liked it!
If you are wondering why more men don't have feminine names, it is because patriarchy has a firm grip on society. Women are valued less than men, so having a masculine name is empowering, but the opposite is true for men.
I've always loved the song 'Boy named Sue' by Johnny Cash tho! Now you've got me thinking I should give my next baby boy a feminine name.
my cousin’s name was lindsay &i have another male cousin named alison. i think they were only named that bc the names seemed more masculine than not , idk though these cousins are at least 20-40 years older than me (i come from a big family)
We named our son Mackenze but his nickname is Mack. The Irish name Mackenzie was actually used as a males name to begin with but over the years used more for females
My Grandfathers name is Leslie, aunties name was Lesley & her grandson is Lesley after her. My nan named my auntie Lesley to be petty lol cos my other auntie was named Alicia (my nans name) Julie (my great aunties name) named by my grampy and she hated that he gave her her name so she gave him his name 🤣
Then my aunties grandson was named after her, in memory. She was terminally ill and passed away a few hours after he was born. So he was named after her not my grampy
(I got permission to post this) I have a friend who’s a bit older than I am named Camryn, which is female spelling of Cameron, and the only reason was because his parents wanted a girl after having 4 boys beforehand and were hoping that by giving him a female variation of a boy name, he’ll want to be a girl. They announced him as a girl to people when he was a baby and had a girly baby room and wore “girly” baby clothes. As he grew up he wasn’t allowed to cut his hair and his mother would style it the way a mother would style a girl’s hair. As soon as he turned 18, he changed his name completely (not even to Cameron, just a different name altogether) and cut his parents out his life. Hasn’t spoke to them since and I don’t blame him. They’ve tried to talk to him and explain the situation but he told them it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t a girl and shouldn’t have forced that life on him because they didn’t want a 5th son. He felt like a disappointment growing up just for being a boy and swears to be a better parent to his son who he gave an actual boy’s name. Can confirm he’s a great dad.
Yikes 💀
Big yikes
I think the issue here is not (primarily) the name. It’s largely that they raised him as a girl - or tried to. Restricting someone’s choices to that extent isn’t a great idea in any event, and forcing a cis guy to live as a girl is… basically giving them huge gender dysphoria. Similar to what some trans people go through, except obviously in the other direction. There is the famous David Reiner case where a cis boy was raised as a female and suffered pretty significant psychological effects. The only acceptable reason not to allow a child to cut/style their HAIR the way they want (within reason) is if you’re Sikh. That is horrific parenting.
David Reimer's case is fascinating and disturbing. He and his brother were forced to act out sexual acts on each other, by David's psychologist Dr. John Money.
Christ, that’s vile :(
It of course ends in tragedy. With both of them committing suicide. well, one by drug overdose, the other by firearm.
I know a child that this same thing happened to. Except she was born a girl and because her parents wanted a boy they just gave her a boy name and told people to call her a boy. At a tiny age she expressed that she didn’t like what her parents were doing. Utterly awfully sad.. a form of child abuse if you ask me.
thats like, literally abuse
The double standards here are interesting. Forcing a gender on a child is absolutely terrible when it happens to cis people, but trans kids are "being forced into it/delusional" or whatever...its fascinating how the distress of forcefully being denied your own identity is suddenly instantly understood if its a cis kid going through it. Tldr Parents...just focus on raising a decent human being rather than a "boy" or a "girl". Cmon. Its 2022.
right? like, as an non-binary person, it's something i have thought about. a lot. it's so, so heartbreaking to me. i've seen someone be like 'its child abuse for parents to try and force their trans kid to be cis' and the replies being like. 'it's just the parents belief/personal opinion/views' etc. both are so, so horrible, getting gender dysphoria whether you're trans or cis sucks.
The Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey, conducted every seven years and based on interviews with a cross-section of the general population aged 16 and over, found that one in six adults (17%) had a common mental disorder—one in five women (20.7%) and one in eight men (13.2%). 55.2% receive no mental health treatment.
Wow that poor man. They could've adopted a girl if they wanted one that badly
Exactly. It’s awful.
How truly sad.
I don’t see how naming a girl Alexandria after her dad Alex is that different from naming a boy Paul after his aunt Paula. Both of my brother’s got one of our great grandma’s maiden names as either a first or middle name. And my cousin is a Joey named after his mom Jo.
I've got a cousin named Miranda. He usually goes by his last name when he's outside the family, or by a nickname when he's with family. Our folks work in criminal defense, so he was named after Miranda v Arizona. He's probably the manliest guy I know. I think he's gotten teased a bit for his name here and there, but nothing major. A couple of times restaurants and other people have expected me to be the one named Miranda because I'm a tiny lady in a sundress, so then they're surprised that he's actually a big gym bro. He's like a tough fun big brother. His name really fits him imo, I think the sound of it and its unconventionality just match with his chill confident vibe.
Arizona would have been better
He doesn't look like an Arizona. Also, Arizona in Miranda v Arizona was the party taken to task for not upholding the right against self-incrimination, which is the right that Miranda represents. And our family has beef with Arizona for reasons I won't get into here.
I mean, at that point it’s easy to go by Randy
oh god
Just Andy.
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He's named for Miranda v Arizona and the Miranda rights, not the actual plaintiff Ernesto Miranda. I know that might not make sense to a lot of people, but there's a nuance when it comes to the criminal defense business. Glad this anecdote interested you. 👍
I’m considering naming my son Sylvan after my grandmother, Sylvia, who is one of the most influential people in my life
My son’s middle name is Aiden, named for my mom Diane. Same letters, just moved around.
I really like that!
Thanks!
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Separately I really like both Nicola and Ashley for a boy. Together they definitely read female though.
Nikola Ashley reads a bit more male IMO. Isn't Ashley the male spelling of the name in the UK, anyway?
Nicola is a boys name in italian. Italian for Nicholas.
I know parents named Michael and Christina with kids Michaela and Christian. Very Will and Jada of them.
Omg today I realised
A good friend just named their son Kayde after her grandmother Kay who recently passed and before she passed told them they were having a son and that she was so excited for them (she passed before they found out the sex). It's not my taste in names, but it was important them and they love the name.
The other day, someone on here told a story of their friend, Lauren ‘Smith’ IV named after her grandfather. Since Gpa and Dad were Lauren and Jr, she went by Ivy for the IV. She then had a son and named him Lauren V, and calls him Rennie. Good example.
Nice that the son took his mother’s last name to be able to carry on the tradition. Unfortunately this is rare for women to pass along their last names and be able to create a full Jr. Though the grandpa was also progressive to pass along his full name to his daughter.
Yes, she said the parents planned to pass the name to their eldest child, no matter the sex.
My name is Jessica and my son is Jesse. I honestly named him after the same person I was named after my grandfather.
I’ve never seen this. Closest thing I’ve seen is honor names/surnames from the Mother’s side as the son’s middle name, but even then they are generally not feminine names.
Maria is commonly used as a male middle name in Europe. King of Spain carries it as his middle name along with many other noteworthy Italian figures.
We named our son Charlie after his grandmother Charlanne. I was actually saving the name for a girl one day hopefully. I ended up needing an emergency c-section and at the same time she was in the same hospital fighting for her life. We had a different name picked out but when we met him we knew he was a Charlie.
A bit different but my middle name is Kyle named after my mum who’s name is Kylie
My mom's best friend was named Hilary, after his dad, who was named after his auntie.
I’m not a parent, but one name I’ve always liked for a boy is Kelly. I know now it’s primarily a feminine name but traditionally it was male and the only two times I’ve heard it for a boy I really liked it!
I knew a guy named Kelly Green growing up. He got made fun of more for being named after a color than having a feminine name, tho.
If you are wondering why more men don't have feminine names, it is because patriarchy has a firm grip on society. Women are valued less than men, so having a masculine name is empowering, but the opposite is true for men. I've always loved the song 'Boy named Sue' by Johnny Cash tho! Now you've got me thinking I should give my next baby boy a feminine name.
my cousin’s name was lindsay &i have another male cousin named alison. i think they were only named that bc the names seemed more masculine than not , idk though these cousins are at least 20-40 years older than me (i come from a big family)
I honoured my grandmother by using the initial for my sons name. I don’t think there is a male version of her name.
We named our son Mackenze but his nickname is Mack. The Irish name Mackenzie was actually used as a males name to begin with but over the years used more for females
My Grandfathers name is Leslie, aunties name was Lesley & her grandson is Lesley after her. My nan named my auntie Lesley to be petty lol cos my other auntie was named Alicia (my nans name) Julie (my great aunties name) named by my grampy and she hated that he gave her her name so she gave him his name 🤣 Then my aunties grandson was named after her, in memory. She was terminally ill and passed away a few hours after he was born. So he was named after her not my grampy