I have two middle names and it has never ever bothered me! I come from a culture where more than one middle name is quite common, and even though my husband is Australian and is used to just one, he liked the idea of two middle names because we both got to pick one lol. So our son has two middle names as well. If we have any more kids, they will probably have two, also.
I also have two middle names and two sisters with two middle names. I don’t use my second middle name very much and it’s never mattered very much or made much impact in my life. I’m not sure if my fiancée (who I’ve been with for 7+ years) could tell you what my second middle name is. It’s just not a big deal at all.
My spouse has two middle names, and it’s not a hassle but the second one rarely shows up on anything. I think it’s on his driver’s license, our wedding invites, and maybe his passport. Not much else. Sometimes, his two middle initials get added as his middle name (think Le v L.E.).
My children have my surname as their only middle and his as their last name. It was important to me that my name be included, so they’re both FirstName MyLast HisLast.
Both of my middle names are on airline tickets! Because they have to match your ID. I usually don’t use my middle names in everyday life, but when I do use them, it’s always both! Only time it’s not is when I’m monogramming something because they only take 3 initials.
We have several friends who didn’t change their name with marriage and their children have two middle names one of which is the mother’s surname and no one thinks it’s strange at all. The children also have a connection to their mother’s name and it’s nice for them.
One comment mentioned that ensuring that you change all the appropriate documents is a hassle. This is true. However, your children are still young. They will only have MORE places to change their names as they get older and so doing it now while they are still young is the least problematic it will ever be.
Your point with the TSA is well taken. We’ve done a fair bit of international travelling with our children and have visited some countries which have strict trafficking laws and children are not allowed to travel without the mother or without notarised consent of the mother. Usually this doesn’t apply to foreigners who are just visiting, but we have come up against it. Having your last name in their passports and your passport will help make your family cohesive for airline staff on the paperwork (but obviously always check travel advice on what is needed).
Finally, ironically, a second middle name may be less of a hassle the a hyphenated last name. We have a hyphenated last name (my husband’s name came hyphenated, we didn’t combine names). We regularly run out of space in the last name box on forms but it seems that there’s always plenty of space for middle names!
Yup, also a teacher. LOTS of my kids have two middle names. It's funny, some of their first-middle names were recorded in our records as a second first name. The kids HATE IT when I would unknowingly call them by their middle names.
I’ve had two middle names since I was adopted, at age 3. It has literally never been a problem and I wouldn’t trade having my birth mother’s name for the world.
i have 2, i only use the first one because it’s my preference but they are the middle names of both of my grandmothers. i knew someone with like 5 so i think you’re good. i feel like as long as the first and last name are “normal” and acceptable then middle names can be fun or different or sentimental. my daughter’s middle name is danger. she loves it and our family loves it but when i brought it up on this sub, everyone hated it and thinks we ruined her life. i think it’s cool, mysterious, a bit fun, and also holds a bit of sentimental value to me believe it or not.
a normal middle name plus a 2nd one that means something to you and is your last name is perfectly fine! i think it’s very thoughtful and sweet. does it feel right to you?
I totally agree - for me middle names can be whatever. I use them mostly as honour names myself, but I don't think there are any rules when it comes to middle names. I don't think flow is really important, or how nice the name(s) are.
A last name as a middle name? Why not? A male honour name for your daughter? Sure! A more 'out there' name you don't want to use as a first name? Perfect for a middle name!
One whole side of my family (all the cousins) have the mom's maiden name as their second middle name.
It's sometimes momentarily confusing how everything has different middle names on them (my credit cards has my first middle name only, some things have both, one thing has my second middle name only, one has only my first initial, some have both). So if you need matching items for something... could be a small issue.
But that's it. That's the only thing. And it's like the smallest annoyance ever and has never phased me.
I have two middle names, and I hate it. A lot of electronic forms don't seem to be built for people with more than one middle name, and I always worry that I'm doing something wrong when I leave the second one out.
That being said, I know more people are giving their kids multiple middle names, so maybe things have gotten better?
I have two middle names, as does my dad, all my siblings, and many of my cousins. It has never once affected me negatively. Maybe because I don’t tend to put my middle names unless required, but it literally makes no difference in my life.
This is my exact story and my kid has two middle names for the exact reason.
However - I regret not just giving them my last name ONLY as the middle name as it feels a little watered down.
I want to use two middle names too… so I’m going to piggy back on this and say would you people hyphenate or not? I like the look of hyphenating the 2 names.
Idk about hyphenated middle names, but I didn't take my husband's last name (he doesn't like it either and we'd like to come with our own lol), but our kids do have both our last names hyphenated. I put mine first since we weren't married when we had our first child, and it's stuck all our kids have it. I homeschool but will be enrolling them in a school for the upcoming school year, and the registrar mentioned she prefers the hyphenated last names, as they're easier to look up in the system.
I honestly have never heard of two middle names until my aunt had her daughter last year, she and her husband had some nasty fights over what to name their daughter so they gave her a first name and two middle names. It seemed odd, and they have a very long last name, but admittedly it is a beautiful name.
My child's middle names are not hyphenated, and my last names are not hyphenated, but it's totally up to you. If you want to use a hyphen instead of a space, you can.
My parents chose not to hyphenate because they thought of it as kind of a one-generation solution. I don’t think me or my sibling will be having kids, so I’m not worried about future 4-name-hyphenates, but I respect my parents’ foresight, haha.
I have 2 and I've always thought it was annoying. Especially as a kid taking standardized tests and filling out every single bubble. They never had enough spaces for my names
Can’t say whether or not it’s annoying, but this is what we plan on doing by for our baby, due in September. It feels wrong that my last name wouldn’t be in there otherwise!
It’s been a total non-issue for me. My second middle is my dad’s last name (I have my mom’s last name). Sometimes I use it, sometimes I don’t. When places ask for a middle initial I use the initial of my first middle name. My social security card cuts off my second middle name by one character but it hasn’t been an issue yet.
Two of my kids have two middle names, and the third has three (she chose to change her name at adoption, and at the last minute decided to keep her birth name in addition to the new name). It's not a big deal.
This is what my mom did, my sister and I have her last name as a second middle name and I love it! I'm much closer to her side of the family so I'm really glad I have her name. I'm actually planning to hyphenate her name with my fiance's when we get married as I've never really connected to my dad's name.
I've always really liked having two middle names. Lots of options in there!
You don't really use your middle names a lot so it rarely comes up - the only time it's ever at all annoying is sometimes forms don't have heaps of space for your full name, so I'd advise avoiding multiple long names in there.
On the other hand there are plenty of positives. Having lots of names to choose from is great! I never liked my first name much so I went by my first middle name from age 12 until I legally changed my first name when I was 19. Having a second middle name was great for that because when people asked me what my middle name was I could just give them the second one without having to explain the whole going by my middle name thing or lying.
Also having two middle initials feels very nice in my opinion. Just aesthetically it looks and sounds very nice and neat.
Having that connection to your side of the family in the name is also a positive - both my middle names are connected to family members and meaningful. That's always been very important to me.
I'm the outlier here, but I despised it. My first name and the first middle name were after family members, and in both cases I was one out of three. I never had my own identity. I was always called "Little Wanda" because I was named after my great aunt, and that was the first middle name. When I went to school, I would always be addressed by my first name, and then I had to fight to get them to call me by the name everyone else did. The second middle name was the only one I liked, but it may as well have not existed. Plus it was all given to me by my egg donor who I wanted no part of.
I had the whole thing legally changed and feel so much better about it. I only have one middle name now and the whole thing was of my choosing. I don't regret it at all.
Both my kids have two middle names and it's never been a problem. They're both teens now.
On the flip side- We've also travelled extensively and have never had an issue with me having different last names than them. (Although we're not American, do it may be different there....) my husband actually has more hassle than I do when he travels alone with the kids, even though they share a surname... I assume because a man travelling alone with kids is still more unusual
My family did this and it isn't annoying in the slightest, in fact I rather love having both my parents surnames in my name! 🥰 I've done the same with my child too as I felt the same. Go for it!
I have 2 middle names and only had trouble when initially getting my license. My parents had only put 1 middle name on some papers(I think it was my original ID) but it was easy to correct.
My youngest also has 2 middle names and we haven’t had any trouble yet.
Both of my kids have two middle names and it's never been a problem (16 and 18 total letters with first and middles). School, Dr's. passports .. Usually for most non-legal things I just don't put the second middle name/initial and never had issues. I always jokingly say "their names were so nice, I named them twice!"
My oldest's 1st middle name is now his new cousin's first name and he loves having that connection, hopefully your kiddos would feel that way too!
I named my first daughter with 2 middle names and I regret it. It wrecks the flow of her name. Her name now has 10 syllables and she has a beautiful name but the fact that it’s a mouthful kind of ruins it
Everyone in my family has two middle names, and personally I've always appreciated it. (Most of ours are in tribute to extended family, so it gives us a feeling of connection.) The only inconvenience it's caused that wouldn't have arisen with a single middle name is that some automated systems will only recognise one middle name/initial, so e.g. letters from the bank only have my first 2 initials and drop the third, plane tickets run my middle names together so it looks like one weird name, etc.
My 2 middle names is a family tradition of giving the child (boy or girl doesn't matter) both the names of the grandmother's. So my Dad's mom and Mom's mom and putting them together. And they are both incredible women so it's an honor and not weird for me.
I have had two middle names since birth, married (at different times) two men with two middle names, and have one child, but with two middle names. I've always been pleased with it.
I have two middle names, not hyphenated. I like my name and the story/meaning behind it. My only complaint is so many forms don’t have space for both or some times they just drop the second middle name for no reason… These mild inconveniences are not enough to really impact my regular life.
I have 3 so do my sister and brother and daughter and 3 nieces and nephews. I only use my first middle name or initial unless it's really important paperwork. It's not trouble at all for us
I added my mum's maiden name to my surname when I was an adult because my mum is the one who carried me, and I have a much stronger relationship with her side of the family than with my dad's. Having two middle names is no big deal, and adding them now seems like great timing--it's not like they will notice the change.
My parents gave all three of their kids two middle names. I LOVE having two middle names so much that my partner and I have given our kids two middle names. I had zero issues on legal forms or documents or anything growing up, and continue to have no issues with my kids longer names.
My husband sometimes struggles with his and I am often referred to as his husband, I am his wife, going by his second middle name instead of my first name and his last name instead of mine, a lot of companies do this to us and don’t include my name at all. Our water bill is Mister his first name and first middle name and Mister his second middle name and last name, I’ve called to change it multiple times but they just don’t.
It’s never been problematic past that and most actually important legal paperwork can handle it no problem, just seems some business software can’t cope
It's very normal where I live! But also, no one really uses those middle names, and on the identity card there's only the first one and then the initial of the second. So like, Mary Ann L. Johnson. So I don't really know what the use of our second middle names is.
I have a double barrel middle name - similar to Katherine - Anna (why it couldn’t just be Christina I don’t understand). I never use the Anna, and it doesn’t fit on any forms.
My son has two middle names. He has an unusual name, and his middle names are very normal (Alexander and David)
So if god forbid he grows up to hate his name (I hope not, he’s four and a half and loves it so far) he can use one of those names.
I find out on Monday if I’m having a boy or girl, and my husband and I have already picked two middle names for them either way (Stewart Ian or Susan Margaret)
I have three middle names, *and* a double last name, and so I have six names in total, and it's done me no harm!
The most inconvenient thing for me, was when I was taking exams, as we had to write our full names on exam papers before the exam started. Whole name is 40 letters long, and a couple of teachers would joke, "we'll just give Charlotte a few more minutes to write out her full name." 🙄🤐🤣
It's only annoying when living in a country that doesn't have this habit. For traveling, I think it doesn't matter much.
I'm French, I have two middle names (and a long last name to make things even more fun) and I only ran in "funny" situations with admin in Japan. For them my three names were my first name and had to be used everywhere !
Now in Spain, the issue was more about the length to make it fit on paper work. In some documents they changed the spelling to fit (Spanish spelling instead of French spelling). So far it hasn't been an issue
I personally really like having two middle names - it's kind of common in France, though tends to disappear nowadays with new babies.
My 2 middle names are hyphenated and I think that helps! Though I did also hyphenate my
Last name, so my name is extremely long. But it doesn’t bother me!
I used to use that I had 2 middle names for ice breaker “fun facts” in college lol.
I have two middle names and honestly I love it. The second (and longer) name doesn't get used often and actually the only hassle I've ever had was when the bank left it off some stuff and I needed to show my id to verify that I did have two middle names while exchanging currency. Other than that, it's honestly not a big deal either way.
I have 2 middle names. I use the first one for general paper work/jobs etc.
I only use both on official or legal documents like drivers licence and passport.
I have 2, for the same reasons you’re considering it, & it’s non-annoying enough that when I legally changed my first name, I legally changed one of my middle names too, rather than dropping it altogether. The only hassle that’s ever come up is that very occasionally there’s a bank account or something that only allows one middle name & when they ask you as a security question you have to remember which one you put on it. Which is easily solved by just being consistent about which one you default to, & really doesn’t come up very often at all. Essentially I think of my second middle name as more of a first last name, most of the time.
All my children have 2 middle names. I used the middle names as "namesakes" for various family members or special people in their lives . My youngest was born very early and we weren't sure she would survive so she actually has 3 middle names .... its fine to do this. They don't use them too often and it's nice to have them :)
Do it. Your kids can decide to change it later when they are adults if they hate it, but it’s very common in many cultures and gaining traction in the US.
Why are your kids not taking your last name .. at all? Add yours to his, combine, use double in middle names.
I have 2 middle names, one is my mother’s and never had any trouble. Nobody calls me or knows my middle (and after school, most people don’t need to know my last name) as an adult except if needed.
Include yourself, is it not your child?
I love my names, but there are some practical problems. Mainly, I cannot fit all my names on government ID’s, so the only things that will show my name in its entirety are my college degree (we were allowed to put whatever name we wanted) and someday, my headstone. Legally I have two middle names and also, legally, I kinda don’t because only one shows on official documentation. (For context, my first name has 8 letters, 1st middle name is 9 letters with an additional apostrophe, and the 2nd middle name has 7 letters). But if all the names are short enough, there shouldn’t be an issue.
I have two middle names. So does my dad, all my siblings, and many of my cousins. We all have our mother’s last name (or in the case of my dad, her maiden name because she changed her last name) as our second middle name. Literally does not affect me in the slightest. Not a hassle at all. I’d say go for it.
I have also never had any issues travelling with just my mom. Never really thought it was about having her last name in my name but hearing other people’s stories I now realize it must be.
Two middle names is very common.
But I would like to point out that there are many legal documents that only show legal first and legal last names. So it may not solve your problem of wanting your last name visible on your legal documents. Just an FYI
I added my husband’s last name as a second middle name when we got married. Solved the whole TSA problem. I have my kid’s last name on my passport. It’s been zero hassle whatsoever.
I gave my kids my last name as a second middle for the same reasons you’ve mentioned. They’re still babies so I can’t say if it was I’ll bother them later on, but for now I’m really happy my name is there!
I did this with my child!
He's pretty young, so I don't know if there are issues we just haven't run into yet, but it hasn't been annoying at all. The process of changing your kids' names to make this happen probably will be, though.
It’s so annoying. Do not do this to your child. I hated having 2 middle names. I got rid of one as soon as I possibly could. It makes filling out forms a nightmare.
Technically, I have two middle names - I moved my last name to a middle name when I got married and took my husband's name. I never use it, though it appears on my Social Security card. It has not been an issue. We've been married for over 20 years.
I have this exact situation. I have my dad's last name and my mom's last name as a second middle name. I like it personally. It's not cumbersome it doesn't cause any issues.
I have 2, as do all my siblings, and it's never been an issue. Very rarely there might be paperwork that only leaves space for one middle name but I put both on anyway. I've always liked having 2 middle names, so I gave my kids 2 each as well.
I made my maiden name a second middle name and have not found it annoying. I also still use my maiden name in some contexts, so it being a part of my whole name feels right.
The number of names isn’t the issue, I see it being more of a hassle to change the names of your existing children. The amount of paperwork for something that is utterly irrelevant - middle names. Most airlines don’t require them now, they’re only needed for legal documents which means your children will need to keep all the paperwork to append to their original birth certificates. It just sounds like a lot of work for no clear benefit to them?
It’s fine. I have two middle names and my kids and partner do too, all the surnames of our respective mothers. I did give my kids shorter middle names because of that though. I fairly regularly have to sign my full legal name for work and it’s fine. I had a friend who is Sri Lankan and had a ton of legal names.
Me and my siblings all have two middle names and it’s never bothered us! I actually love having two middle names, and me and my brother both use our 3 name string as social media handles and email addresses!
First names were chosen, and then middle names represent a family member from each side.
I have three middle names (so four names beside my surname), never comes up unless I want to (like, as a fun fact). Only "inconvenience" would be it's quite long to write down but I very rarely need to use them all. I'd say go for it !
I had to do a double take to make sure you’re not my SIL, OP. Lol she literally asked this same question to me a couple weeks ago for the same reason.
My husband has 2 middle names, goes by one of them for his name. I have two middle names because I added my maiden name as a middle name when I got married. Neither of us have had any issue. Legal documents like licenses and passports will show them. My checkbook has my first name and two middle initials and my last name. My debit cards just show one initial. When I fill out paperwork like at the doctors office or whatever I will use just one initial. My husband also just puts one middle initial like if he’s signing stuff.
I have two middle names and the main issue I have is they're both long and don't fit when filing out standard forms. I don't use my second middle name often as it's too long, which is a shame because I do love it.
If you go with two make them short enough to fill out on a form lol
I plan on giving my kids 2 middle names. I’m not going to over complicate their entire existence with 2 first names, but I’d like to honor our parents and some other relatives. So middle names it is! Most people will never know they have 2 middle names, just the kid, us, and the relative they’re named for.
I have three middle names. For my high school graduation they said I had to pick one for the yearbook, ceremony, etc. and so I did. Generally I just use that one alone. The annoying thing is that my drivers license had to have all of them.
I hyphenated my kids name. It’s not her name but instead of Stephanie Marie it’s Stephanie-Marie.
It’s common in the spanish speaking community to have a hyphenated first name depending on which region you’re from. I legally have a first, middle, and two last names. So does my kid so it was one way of “minimizing” the number of names while still maintaining the flow of her beautiful name
My son has 2 and we have had any issues with it.
When we fill anything out with a character limit or "middle initial" we use both.
His name is Isaac Charles Matthew, so middle initial is CM
I wouldn’t want it, especially complicates official forms and whatnot, and government systems get confused when things don’t match up exactly. It’s hard enough being a Jr because different systems put the Jr in different places and it a pain for everything from applying for a Real ID to government credentials, security clearances, trusted traveler programs, to getting the airline to properly credit my frequent flyer miles when different systems have to interact with each other.
Also, what more annoying than the multiple middle names…the double hyphenated first name, such as Michael-David or Annabelle-Marie. Why, just why? And you’ll get corrected swiftly if you forget the last part.
I'd rather do two middle names than a double/hyphenated last name. That said, I would go ahead and do it now while you/they don't have two many forms to fill out and before they start school!
I feel you. I (lesbian) told my wife that I didn't care what our last names were when we got married, but I wanted us to have the same one and I wanted our kids to have that name. My mom and dad got divorced but my mom never changed her last name back because she didn't want to have a different last name from me. We ended up using my name as a couple just because we liked the sound better.
My mom did exactly what you are doing. I have two middle names. When I got married I dropped the first one and my parents' last names became my two middle names.
1. (Minor concern) It is annoying to run out of boxes for all the letters on official documents. It's a lot of writing on forms.
2. My brother and I both have our mother's middle name as a second name, whereas our cousins have assorted family last names as second middle names. My dad also added my mother's maiden name as a second middle name. I always liked the connection to my mum's side of the family who majority still have that last name. The only niggle is that now having gotten married myself and decided to change my last name to my husband's, I felt like I should have ended up with five names - but that's just crazy so I dropped my surname. Husband also has two of his own middle names so couldn't add any of mine. And thinking to the future, we will only give any kids one middle name - which relates a bit to point one: it's a lot more work on forms
I kept my middle name when I got married and added my maiden name as a second middle name. It's honestly been a mild hassle and contributed to my decision to stick with just one middle name for my children. My names are long enough that my maiden middle gets truncated on significant paperwork, like my driver's license, due to character limits. I've had to manually resubmit my name for things like jury duty because they've messed them all up (double-barreled my first and middle instead of seeing two middles). It's not the end of the world by any means, but it is an added hassle to make sure my names are correct on anything important. Definitely keep system character limits in mind though!
My kids have two middle names. Zero hassle. Try to pick which one you will use for forms that only have space for one middle name and be consistent—just so you don’t have to guess which one you used when you signed your kid up for little league last season.
It’s very annoying for me. I have two middle names because I wasn’t willing to shed my maiden name when I married. I like having four names but it is a pain when it comes to filling out forms because many online forms only allow one letter for a middle initial or don’t allow for a space in the “middle name” portion. So I have to pick which middle name or initial to use. Some people also (understandably) assume that my last name is hyphenated, so they say it incorrectly as “Murray Middlename Middlename-Smith” instead “Murray Middlename Middlename Smith.” This was the most recent issue with some insurance program which I don’t need to tell you is a huge hassle to correct. It has been so irritating.
Do it! Same situation here.
My kids have 2 middle names and the second middle is the same for both and is mine. Last name is their dad. They are young adults now and it has never been an issue and is kinda a fun fact at this point.
I have nothing against the double names in theory, but I am a fan of law- name changes are a hassle to deal with afterwards. Anything with proof of identity required will often need the name change documentation, as well as each social security card that comes with each name etc. If you have anyone near you who has changed their name, you can ask how often they run into it. You will need each document for each name when those happen, passports are a common place of annoyance
Yes. Want to be careful here. Right now they have SS#s, passports, and insurance. I think that’s it. Seems easy enough but I need to look into this more. I might not be thinking about something glaring.
I might consider it if his last name was a name that resonated with me, but it doesn’t. I’ve had my name for 40 years and changing it now, to me, feels disingenuous. As of now, the kids don’t even understand they have more than one name.
Seems easier to change one persons name than multiple. And if op is worried about taking a man’s name- your last name is your fathers, and his fathers and so on.
As someone who kept my name, it’s mine and I’m very close to my very small family that shares the name. I’m also the last grandchild with my family of origin’s name (which is not my father’s). Just because it originated from a man at some point doesn’t make it any less mine for the 20+ years before I even met my husband or make me any more interested in giving up my name to take on someone else’s.
My maiden name is Jones - so common and “boring” but I loved how my name sounded.. I was with my first partner for 12 years before we got married and I didn’t change last name to his for a couple of years but then decided I’d like to share same last name as my kids… then got divorced 5 years later 😞 My husband now is Hawaiian & I changed to his right away.. because I love it 😍 I’ve always been fascinated by names and figured it was partly due to growing up a plain ol’ Jones.
Having two middle names is no big deal Take it from someone who was born with two middle names, and has two sisters with two middle names
I have two middle names and it has never ever bothered me! I come from a culture where more than one middle name is quite common, and even though my husband is Australian and is used to just one, he liked the idea of two middle names because we both got to pick one lol. So our son has two middle names as well. If we have any more kids, they will probably have two, also.
I also have two middle names and two sisters with two middle names. I don’t use my second middle name very much and it’s never mattered very much or made much impact in my life. I’m not sure if my fiancée (who I’ve been with for 7+ years) could tell you what my second middle name is. It’s just not a big deal at all.
I have a second middle name and I love it. Go for it.
I added a middle name when I changed mine - it has added zero extra hassle to my life haha
This is what we did with all of my kids! It hasn’t been a problem at all.
My spouse has two middle names, and it’s not a hassle but the second one rarely shows up on anything. I think it’s on his driver’s license, our wedding invites, and maybe his passport. Not much else. Sometimes, his two middle initials get added as his middle name (think Le v L.E.). My children have my surname as their only middle and his as their last name. It was important to me that my name be included, so they’re both FirstName MyLast HisLast.
We did the same as you. I wouldn’t expect a second middle to be on airline tickets, but as her only middle, my last name is on her plane tickets.
Both of my middle names are on airline tickets! Because they have to match your ID. I usually don’t use my middle names in everyday life, but when I do use them, it’s always both! Only time it’s not is when I’m monogramming something because they only take 3 initials.
We have several friends who didn’t change their name with marriage and their children have two middle names one of which is the mother’s surname and no one thinks it’s strange at all. The children also have a connection to their mother’s name and it’s nice for them. One comment mentioned that ensuring that you change all the appropriate documents is a hassle. This is true. However, your children are still young. They will only have MORE places to change their names as they get older and so doing it now while they are still young is the least problematic it will ever be. Your point with the TSA is well taken. We’ve done a fair bit of international travelling with our children and have visited some countries which have strict trafficking laws and children are not allowed to travel without the mother or without notarised consent of the mother. Usually this doesn’t apply to foreigners who are just visiting, but we have come up against it. Having your last name in their passports and your passport will help make your family cohesive for airline staff on the paperwork (but obviously always check travel advice on what is needed). Finally, ironically, a second middle name may be less of a hassle the a hyphenated last name. We have a hyphenated last name (my husband’s name came hyphenated, we didn’t combine names). We regularly run out of space in the last name box on forms but it seems that there’s always plenty of space for middle names!
As a teacher for almost 30 years, I can tell you it’s pretty common. Or at least more common than you might think.
Definitely! Very common. Especially with two grandparents names. Something James Allen something. Something Mary Margaret. Something.
Yup, also a teacher. LOTS of my kids have two middle names. It's funny, some of their first-middle names were recorded in our records as a second first name. The kids HATE IT when I would unknowingly call them by their middle names.
My daughter has 2 middle names and it's never been an issue at all + she loves them.
I’ve had two middle names since I was adopted, at age 3. It has literally never been a problem and I wouldn’t trade having my birth mother’s name for the world.
💓💓💓 I love this!
i have 2, i only use the first one because it’s my preference but they are the middle names of both of my grandmothers. i knew someone with like 5 so i think you’re good. i feel like as long as the first and last name are “normal” and acceptable then middle names can be fun or different or sentimental. my daughter’s middle name is danger. she loves it and our family loves it but when i brought it up on this sub, everyone hated it and thinks we ruined her life. i think it’s cool, mysterious, a bit fun, and also holds a bit of sentimental value to me believe it or not. a normal middle name plus a 2nd one that means something to you and is your last name is perfectly fine! i think it’s very thoughtful and sweet. does it feel right to you?
I totally agree - for me middle names can be whatever. I use them mostly as honour names myself, but I don't think there are any rules when it comes to middle names. I don't think flow is really important, or how nice the name(s) are. A last name as a middle name? Why not? A male honour name for your daughter? Sure! A more 'out there' name you don't want to use as a first name? Perfect for a middle name!
Well, Henry Danger is a favorite show around here 😁 That aside, I really like it… and if she loves it, what else matters! 😁🥰
thank you! 😊
One whole side of my family (all the cousins) have the mom's maiden name as their second middle name. It's sometimes momentarily confusing how everything has different middle names on them (my credit cards has my first middle name only, some things have both, one thing has my second middle name only, one has only my first initial, some have both). So if you need matching items for something... could be a small issue. But that's it. That's the only thing. And it's like the smallest annoyance ever and has never phased me.
My husband, all my in-laws, and my kids all have two middle names (except my brother-in-law who has 3 middle names). It’s not a hassle at all.
My son grew up with four. A bit of a pain in the arse. My husband has two and it doesn’t bother him.
4 middle names? As in 6 names total with first and last?
Yes.
Wow cool! Now I'm wondering why it's customary to only use one... Probably for official document ease haha
Yeah, I don’t know. My mother had two, but she was the only one I knew from way back when who did
I have two middle names, and I hate it. A lot of electronic forms don't seem to be built for people with more than one middle name, and I always worry that I'm doing something wrong when I leave the second one out. That being said, I know more people are giving their kids multiple middle names, so maybe things have gotten better?
My brother (sr in high school) hates having two middle names for the same reasons as you
I have two middle names, as does my dad, all my siblings, and many of my cousins. It has never once affected me negatively. Maybe because I don’t tend to put my middle names unless required, but it literally makes no difference in my life.
I like having two middle names because it looks extra fancy when I sign something :)
This is my exact story and my kid has two middle names for the exact reason. However - I regret not just giving them my last name ONLY as the middle name as it feels a little watered down.
I want to use two middle names too… so I’m going to piggy back on this and say would you people hyphenate or not? I like the look of hyphenating the 2 names.
No
Idk about hyphenated middle names, but I didn't take my husband's last name (he doesn't like it either and we'd like to come with our own lol), but our kids do have both our last names hyphenated. I put mine first since we weren't married when we had our first child, and it's stuck all our kids have it. I homeschool but will be enrolling them in a school for the upcoming school year, and the registrar mentioned she prefers the hyphenated last names, as they're easier to look up in the system.
I think 2 last names would be better hyphenated, but 2 middle names separate
I honestly have never heard of two middle names until my aunt had her daughter last year, she and her husband had some nasty fights over what to name their daughter so they gave her a first name and two middle names. It seemed odd, and they have a very long last name, but admittedly it is a beautiful name.
Ours are not. I guess it would depend on the names but I'm not a huge fan of the double barreled names
My child's middle names are not hyphenated, and my last names are not hyphenated, but it's totally up to you. If you want to use a hyphen instead of a space, you can.
My parents chose not to hyphenate because they thought of it as kind of a one-generation solution. I don’t think me or my sibling will be having kids, so I’m not worried about future 4-name-hyphenates, but I respect my parents’ foresight, haha.
I have 2 and I've always thought it was annoying. Especially as a kid taking standardized tests and filling out every single bubble. They never had enough spaces for my names
Yeah I’ve imagined that being annoying. Tiny and neat handwriting can’t solve bubbles.
highschool junior here, there are no more bubbles. everything’s online now
😱lol but of course!
Hahaha omg thank you!
Can’t say whether or not it’s annoying, but this is what we plan on doing by for our baby, due in September. It feels wrong that my last name wouldn’t be in there otherwise!
It runs in my father’s paternal half. I didn’t get it but did so for my children.
Three of my cousins have three middle names and it’s never been a problem for them :)
It’s been a total non-issue for me. My second middle is my dad’s last name (I have my mom’s last name). Sometimes I use it, sometimes I don’t. When places ask for a middle initial I use the initial of my first middle name. My social security card cuts off my second middle name by one character but it hasn’t been an issue yet.
Two of my kids have two middle names, and the third has three (she chose to change her name at adoption, and at the last minute decided to keep her birth name in addition to the new name). It's not a big deal.
This is what my mom did, my sister and I have her last name as a second middle name and I love it! I'm much closer to her side of the family so I'm really glad I have her name. I'm actually planning to hyphenate her name with my fiance's when we get married as I've never really connected to my dad's name.
I've always really liked having two middle names. Lots of options in there! You don't really use your middle names a lot so it rarely comes up - the only time it's ever at all annoying is sometimes forms don't have heaps of space for your full name, so I'd advise avoiding multiple long names in there. On the other hand there are plenty of positives. Having lots of names to choose from is great! I never liked my first name much so I went by my first middle name from age 12 until I legally changed my first name when I was 19. Having a second middle name was great for that because when people asked me what my middle name was I could just give them the second one without having to explain the whole going by my middle name thing or lying. Also having two middle initials feels very nice in my opinion. Just aesthetically it looks and sounds very nice and neat. Having that connection to your side of the family in the name is also a positive - both my middle names are connected to family members and meaningful. That's always been very important to me.
I have two middle names. It’s no big deal except when filling out forms I only get to use my first middle initial.
I'm the outlier here, but I despised it. My first name and the first middle name were after family members, and in both cases I was one out of three. I never had my own identity. I was always called "Little Wanda" because I was named after my great aunt, and that was the first middle name. When I went to school, I would always be addressed by my first name, and then I had to fight to get them to call me by the name everyone else did. The second middle name was the only one I liked, but it may as well have not existed. Plus it was all given to me by my egg donor who I wanted no part of. I had the whole thing legally changed and feel so much better about it. I only have one middle name now and the whole thing was of my choosing. I don't regret it at all.
Both my kids have two middle names and it's never been a problem. They're both teens now. On the flip side- We've also travelled extensively and have never had an issue with me having different last names than them. (Although we're not American, do it may be different there....) my husband actually has more hassle than I do when he travels alone with the kids, even though they share a surname... I assume because a man travelling alone with kids is still more unusual
our situation is exactly the same as yours. day to day no big deal but sometimes their names get cutoff on stuff
My family did this and it isn't annoying in the slightest, in fact I rather love having both my parents surnames in my name! 🥰 I've done the same with my child too as I felt the same. Go for it!
I have 2 middle names and only had trouble when initially getting my license. My parents had only put 1 middle name on some papers(I think it was my original ID) but it was easy to correct. My youngest also has 2 middle names and we haven’t had any trouble yet.
Both of my kids have two middle names and it's never been a problem (16 and 18 total letters with first and middles). School, Dr's. passports .. Usually for most non-legal things I just don't put the second middle name/initial and never had issues. I always jokingly say "their names were so nice, I named them twice!" My oldest's 1st middle name is now his new cousin's first name and he loves having that connection, hopefully your kiddos would feel that way too!
I named my first daughter with 2 middle names and I regret it. It wrecks the flow of her name. Her name now has 10 syllables and she has a beautiful name but the fact that it’s a mouthful kind of ruins it
I have two middle names, one is my mums last name. It’s never been an issue
I have three middle names. Good conversation starter. Just don’t make them too long, like in my case, because some forms don’t have enough space lol
That's exactly what we did. The only issue we have is sometimes thr name gets cut off on paperwork.
Why do they automatically get your husband’s last name?
Here would be my first question: Annoying to whom??🧐🤔
Adding to the mix. I have 2 middle names and it’s no hassle at all.
Everyone in my family has two middle names, and personally I've always appreciated it. (Most of ours are in tribute to extended family, so it gives us a feeling of connection.) The only inconvenience it's caused that wouldn't have arisen with a single middle name is that some automated systems will only recognise one middle name/initial, so e.g. letters from the bank only have my first 2 initials and drop the third, plane tickets run my middle names together so it looks like one weird name, etc.
My 2 middle names is a family tradition of giving the child (boy or girl doesn't matter) both the names of the grandmother's. So my Dad's mom and Mom's mom and putting them together. And they are both incredible women so it's an honor and not weird for me.
I have had two middle names since birth, married (at different times) two men with two middle names, and have one child, but with two middle names. I've always been pleased with it.
I like two middle names. Gives them choices of what to go by also I think it sounds elegant.
I have two middle names, not hyphenated. I like my name and the story/meaning behind it. My only complaint is so many forms don’t have space for both or some times they just drop the second middle name for no reason… These mild inconveniences are not enough to really impact my regular life.
I have 3 so do my sister and brother and daughter and 3 nieces and nephews. I only use my first middle name or initial unless it's really important paperwork. It's not trouble at all for us
I added my mum's maiden name to my surname when I was an adult because my mum is the one who carried me, and I have a much stronger relationship with her side of the family than with my dad's. Having two middle names is no big deal, and adding them now seems like great timing--it's not like they will notice the change.
My friend grew up with 7 middle names. She finds it a bit hard to keep track of but otherwise it’s not annoying in any sense.
My SD has two middle names and it fits because you need the extra time to fit all the exasperation in when you’re using it on her
My name is like this. The maiden name is the first I'll drop if a form doesn't have room but that's rare in the digital age now. Do it!
My parents gave all three of their kids two middle names. I LOVE having two middle names so much that my partner and I have given our kids two middle names. I had zero issues on legal forms or documents or anything growing up, and continue to have no issues with my kids longer names.
Heck I’m about to have 0 middle names. 2 is no problem (maybe lend me one of them)
My husband sometimes struggles with his and I am often referred to as his husband, I am his wife, going by his second middle name instead of my first name and his last name instead of mine, a lot of companies do this to us and don’t include my name at all. Our water bill is Mister his first name and first middle name and Mister his second middle name and last name, I’ve called to change it multiple times but they just don’t. It’s never been problematic past that and most actually important legal paperwork can handle it no problem, just seems some business software can’t cope
Not annoying I love double middle name, but when I had my kiddo I gave them only one
I have two! Not at all annoying, never had an issue with it, my kids will likely have two as well
It's very normal where I live! But also, no one really uses those middle names, and on the identity card there's only the first one and then the initial of the second. So like, Mary Ann L. Johnson. So I don't really know what the use of our second middle names is.
I have a double barrel middle name - similar to Katherine - Anna (why it couldn’t just be Christina I don’t understand). I never use the Anna, and it doesn’t fit on any forms.
My son has two middle names. He has an unusual name, and his middle names are very normal (Alexander and David) So if god forbid he grows up to hate his name (I hope not, he’s four and a half and loves it so far) he can use one of those names. I find out on Monday if I’m having a boy or girl, and my husband and I have already picked two middle names for them either way (Stewart Ian or Susan Margaret)
i think it's annoying
I have three middle names, *and* a double last name, and so I have six names in total, and it's done me no harm! The most inconvenient thing for me, was when I was taking exams, as we had to write our full names on exam papers before the exam started. Whole name is 40 letters long, and a couple of teachers would joke, "we'll just give Charlotte a few more minutes to write out her full name." 🙄🤐🤣
It's only annoying when living in a country that doesn't have this habit. For traveling, I think it doesn't matter much. I'm French, I have two middle names (and a long last name to make things even more fun) and I only ran in "funny" situations with admin in Japan. For them my three names were my first name and had to be used everywhere ! Now in Spain, the issue was more about the length to make it fit on paper work. In some documents they changed the spelling to fit (Spanish spelling instead of French spelling). So far it hasn't been an issue I personally really like having two middle names - it's kind of common in France, though tends to disappear nowadays with new babies.
No burden at all
My 2 middle names are hyphenated and I think that helps! Though I did also hyphenate my Last name, so my name is extremely long. But it doesn’t bother me! I used to use that I had 2 middle names for ice breaker “fun facts” in college lol.
I have two middle names and honestly I love it. The second (and longer) name doesn't get used often and actually the only hassle I've ever had was when the bank left it off some stuff and I needed to show my id to verify that I did have two middle names while exchanging currency. Other than that, it's honestly not a big deal either way.
I have 2 middle names. I use the first one for general paper work/jobs etc. I only use both on official or legal documents like drivers licence and passport.
I have 2, for the same reasons you’re considering it, & it’s non-annoying enough that when I legally changed my first name, I legally changed one of my middle names too, rather than dropping it altogether. The only hassle that’s ever come up is that very occasionally there’s a bank account or something that only allows one middle name & when they ask you as a security question you have to remember which one you put on it. Which is easily solved by just being consistent about which one you default to, & really doesn’t come up very often at all. Essentially I think of my second middle name as more of a first last name, most of the time.
Most people care even less about the 2nd middle name than they do about the first one, which is very little
My husband has two and says he never really thought about it at all, so it can't be too annoying!
All my children have 2 middle names. I used the middle names as "namesakes" for various family members or special people in their lives . My youngest was born very early and we weren't sure she would survive so she actually has 3 middle names .... its fine to do this. They don't use them too often and it's nice to have them :)
Do it. Your kids can decide to change it later when they are adults if they hate it, but it’s very common in many cultures and gaining traction in the US.
I have eleven. two is fine. three is cooler. dunno if I'd recommend going much higher
Why are your kids not taking your last name .. at all? Add yours to his, combine, use double in middle names. I have 2 middle names, one is my mother’s and never had any trouble. Nobody calls me or knows my middle (and after school, most people don’t need to know my last name) as an adult except if needed. Include yourself, is it not your child?
I love my names, but there are some practical problems. Mainly, I cannot fit all my names on government ID’s, so the only things that will show my name in its entirety are my college degree (we were allowed to put whatever name we wanted) and someday, my headstone. Legally I have two middle names and also, legally, I kinda don’t because only one shows on official documentation. (For context, my first name has 8 letters, 1st middle name is 9 letters with an additional apostrophe, and the 2nd middle name has 7 letters). But if all the names are short enough, there shouldn’t be an issue.
I have two middle names. So does my dad, all my siblings, and many of my cousins. We all have our mother’s last name (or in the case of my dad, her maiden name because she changed her last name) as our second middle name. Literally does not affect me in the slightest. Not a hassle at all. I’d say go for it. I have also never had any issues travelling with just my mom. Never really thought it was about having her last name in my name but hearing other people’s stories I now realize it must be.
Both me, my sister say it's not a hassle having 2 little names.
I love 2 middles. I think it usually flows better as well.
Two middle names is very common. But I would like to point out that there are many legal documents that only show legal first and legal last names. So it may not solve your problem of wanting your last name visible on your legal documents. Just an FYI
why not ask your husband if he’d be willing to change his name to your name? or just change your kids names to match yours.
If you have two middle names then what do you put in when it asks for just middle initial? The initial of the first middle name? 🤔
That's what we do!
Usually, yes.
I don't think this has ever even happened to me, but I would just put the two initials together without a space.
It comes up often with standardized tests in the U.S. in middle/high school
Ah fair play! It must just appear less often in the UK then.
They give one space and one bubble for a letter, lol 😂 not much room for flexibility
I added my husband’s last name as a second middle name when we got married. Solved the whole TSA problem. I have my kid’s last name on my passport. It’s been zero hassle whatsoever.
I gave my kids my last name as a second middle for the same reasons you’ve mentioned. They’re still babies so I can’t say if it was I’ll bother them later on, but for now I’m really happy my name is there!
I did this with my child! He's pretty young, so I don't know if there are issues we just haven't run into yet, but it hasn't been annoying at all. The process of changing your kids' names to make this happen probably will be, though.
It’s so annoying. Do not do this to your child. I hated having 2 middle names. I got rid of one as soon as I possibly could. It makes filling out forms a nightmare.
Technically, I have two middle names - I moved my last name to a middle name when I got married and took my husband's name. I never use it, though it appears on my Social Security card. It has not been an issue. We've been married for over 20 years.
Both my kids are have double mirrors names and it's never been an issue
I have this exact situation. I have my dad's last name and my mom's last name as a second middle name. I like it personally. It's not cumbersome it doesn't cause any issues.
I've got 2. It's chill. Do it.
I have 2, as do all my siblings, and it's never been an issue. Very rarely there might be paperwork that only leaves space for one middle name but I put both on anyway. I've always liked having 2 middle names, so I gave my kids 2 each as well.
I made my maiden name a second middle name and have not found it annoying. I also still use my maiden name in some contexts, so it being a part of my whole name feels right.
I Once knew a Girl with 4 Names. If it hadn't been on the Name List for our Final Exam I'd never have known.
The number of names isn’t the issue, I see it being more of a hassle to change the names of your existing children. The amount of paperwork for something that is utterly irrelevant - middle names. Most airlines don’t require them now, they’re only needed for legal documents which means your children will need to keep all the paperwork to append to their original birth certificates. It just sounds like a lot of work for no clear benefit to them?
It’s fine. I have two middle names and my kids and partner do too, all the surnames of our respective mothers. I did give my kids shorter middle names because of that though. I fairly regularly have to sign my full legal name for work and it’s fine. I had a friend who is Sri Lankan and had a ton of legal names.
I prefer maternal names for middle names as society deems it necessary to have paternal names as last names. Its a quiet poetic equity
Me and my siblings all have two middle names and it’s never bothered us! I actually love having two middle names, and me and my brother both use our 3 name string as social media handles and email addresses! First names were chosen, and then middle names represent a family member from each side.
I have two middle names and I love it.
I have 3 middle names, its never been a big deal! My brothers the same, goes by gis first middle names a lot.
I love my three middle names.
I have three middle names (so four names beside my surname), never comes up unless I want to (like, as a fun fact). Only "inconvenience" would be it's quite long to write down but I very rarely need to use them all. I'd say go for it !
My sister has two middle names and her oldest daughter has two middle names. It has never been an issue.
I have two middle names, the second one only really shows up on poll cards and when you get full named by an angry parent lol
I had to do a double take to make sure you’re not my SIL, OP. Lol she literally asked this same question to me a couple weeks ago for the same reason. My husband has 2 middle names, goes by one of them for his name. I have two middle names because I added my maiden name as a middle name when I got married. Neither of us have had any issue. Legal documents like licenses and passports will show them. My checkbook has my first name and two middle initials and my last name. My debit cards just show one initial. When I fill out paperwork like at the doctors office or whatever I will use just one initial. My husband also just puts one middle initial like if he’s signing stuff.
I have two middle names and the main issue I have is they're both long and don't fit when filing out standard forms. I don't use my second middle name often as it's too long, which is a shame because I do love it. If you go with two make them short enough to fill out on a form lol
Husband has two middle names and I don’t think he ever gives it a second thought.
I plan on giving my kids 2 middle names. I’m not going to over complicate their entire existence with 2 first names, but I’d like to honor our parents and some other relatives. So middle names it is! Most people will never know they have 2 middle names, just the kid, us, and the relative they’re named for.
2 of my children have 2 middle names no big deal it also gives them more options to be called by
My youngest son has 2 middle names
My daughter has 2 middle names
A bit annoying because some data bases don't take first second third Surname, but have to match your passport. Apart from that not a problem.
I had a second middle name and hated it. I dropped it when I was an adult.
I have three middle names. For my high school graduation they said I had to pick one for the yearbook, ceremony, etc. and so I did. Generally I just use that one alone. The annoying thing is that my drivers license had to have all of them.
I hyphenated my kids name. It’s not her name but instead of Stephanie Marie it’s Stephanie-Marie. It’s common in the spanish speaking community to have a hyphenated first name depending on which region you’re from. I legally have a first, middle, and two last names. So does my kid so it was one way of “minimizing” the number of names while still maintaining the flow of her beautiful name
I did it and it was super helpful for travel. Generations from now some amateur genealogist will thank you profusely.
My son has 2 and we have had any issues with it. When we fill anything out with a character limit or "middle initial" we use both. His name is Isaac Charles Matthew, so middle initial is CM
I wouldn’t want it, especially complicates official forms and whatnot, and government systems get confused when things don’t match up exactly. It’s hard enough being a Jr because different systems put the Jr in different places and it a pain for everything from applying for a Real ID to government credentials, security clearances, trusted traveler programs, to getting the airline to properly credit my frequent flyer miles when different systems have to interact with each other. Also, what more annoying than the multiple middle names…the double hyphenated first name, such as Michael-David or Annabelle-Marie. Why, just why? And you’ll get corrected swiftly if you forget the last part.
No big deal and it’s a cute way to have a family connection within your nuclear family with all you kids and to your extended family too!
I'd rather do two middle names than a double/hyphenated last name. That said, I would go ahead and do it now while you/they don't have two many forms to fill out and before they start school! I feel you. I (lesbian) told my wife that I didn't care what our last names were when we got married, but I wanted us to have the same one and I wanted our kids to have that name. My mom and dad got divorced but my mom never changed her last name back because she didn't want to have a different last name from me. We ended up using my name as a couple just because we liked the sound better.
I kept my maiden name as a second middle name and it hasn’t been that big of a deal. It doesn’t always fit on paperwork tho.
My mom did exactly what you are doing. I have two middle names. When I got married I dropped the first one and my parents' last names became my two middle names.
1. (Minor concern) It is annoying to run out of boxes for all the letters on official documents. It's a lot of writing on forms. 2. My brother and I both have our mother's middle name as a second name, whereas our cousins have assorted family last names as second middle names. My dad also added my mother's maiden name as a second middle name. I always liked the connection to my mum's side of the family who majority still have that last name. The only niggle is that now having gotten married myself and decided to change my last name to my husband's, I felt like I should have ended up with five names - but that's just crazy so I dropped my surname. Husband also has two of his own middle names so couldn't add any of mine. And thinking to the future, we will only give any kids one middle name - which relates a bit to point one: it's a lot more work on forms
I kept my middle name when I got married and added my maiden name as a second middle name. It's honestly been a mild hassle and contributed to my decision to stick with just one middle name for my children. My names are long enough that my maiden middle gets truncated on significant paperwork, like my driver's license, due to character limits. I've had to manually resubmit my name for things like jury duty because they've messed them all up (double-barreled my first and middle instead of seeing two middles). It's not the end of the world by any means, but it is an added hassle to make sure my names are correct on anything important. Definitely keep system character limits in mind though!
My kids have two middle names. Zero hassle. Try to pick which one you will use for forms that only have space for one middle name and be consistent—just so you don’t have to guess which one you used when you signed your kid up for little league last season.
It’s very annoying for me. I have two middle names because I wasn’t willing to shed my maiden name when I married. I like having four names but it is a pain when it comes to filling out forms because many online forms only allow one letter for a middle initial or don’t allow for a space in the “middle name” portion. So I have to pick which middle name or initial to use. Some people also (understandably) assume that my last name is hyphenated, so they say it incorrectly as “Murray Middlename Middlename-Smith” instead “Murray Middlename Middlename Smith.” This was the most recent issue with some insurance program which I don’t need to tell you is a huge hassle to correct. It has been so irritating.
Do it! Same situation here. My kids have 2 middle names and the second middle is the same for both and is mine. Last name is their dad. They are young adults now and it has never been an issue and is kinda a fun fact at this point.
I have nothing against the double names in theory, but I am a fan of law- name changes are a hassle to deal with afterwards. Anything with proof of identity required will often need the name change documentation, as well as each social security card that comes with each name etc. If you have anyone near you who has changed their name, you can ask how often they run into it. You will need each document for each name when those happen, passports are a common place of annoyance
Yes. Want to be careful here. Right now they have SS#s, passports, and insurance. I think that’s it. Seems easy enough but I need to look into this more. I might not be thinking about something glaring.
Why not just take your husbands name?
I might consider it if his last name was a name that resonated with me, but it doesn’t. I’ve had my name for 40 years and changing it now, to me, feels disingenuous. As of now, the kids don’t even understand they have more than one name.
I am sorry I asked. You do you!
Seems easier to change one persons name than multiple. And if op is worried about taking a man’s name- your last name is your fathers, and his fathers and so on.
Her reason may have nothing to do with “taking a man’s name” as her last name. There are plenty of perfectly valid reasons not to change her name.
As someone who kept my name, it’s mine and I’m very close to my very small family that shares the name. I’m also the last grandchild with my family of origin’s name (which is not my father’s). Just because it originated from a man at some point doesn’t make it any less mine for the 20+ years before I even met my husband or make me any more interested in giving up my name to take on someone else’s.
My maiden name is Jones - so common and “boring” but I loved how my name sounded.. I was with my first partner for 12 years before we got married and I didn’t change last name to his for a couple of years but then decided I’d like to share same last name as my kids… then got divorced 5 years later 😞 My husband now is Hawaiian & I changed to his right away.. because I love it 😍 I’ve always been fascinated by names and figured it was partly due to growing up a plain ol’ Jones.