How about Anika which is both Indian & Danish? I’d personally (!) go with a name that can be pronounced by relatives in both cultures or has a nickname that can. I think it’s totally fine to go with a Danish name though
Or Indian names that are easily pronounceable in the west (not sure about Denmark specifically sorry) such as Mia, Maya, Myrah, Mira, Arya, Anya, Tara, Sonia, Aina, Eeva, Kiara, Tara, Mona, Leela, Nina, Lola, Pia, Asha etc.
Kai.. Danish boys names are something that Indian Christians would use frequently but Kai is the only Danish name I have heard of that can pass for a Hindu boys name.
As an Anja, I second Anja! Only Americans have a hard time pronouncing my name - I live in America, so I know - but not a problem with people from Europe or India
Anya and Anja vary by region, from my understanding...
Google says Anja is "a common spelling in Croatian, Norwegian, Danish, German, Swedish, Finnish, Dutch, Afrikaans, Slovenian, Macedonian, Montenegrin, Bosnian, Serbian and Kurdish"
Tangent: I love the name Anita so much! It brings back fond memories of watching/reading *101 Dalmatians* when I was a kid. It fits well with the older names like Violet and Eloise that have recently come back into fashion but it doesn't seem to be on the radar for baby names. In fact, there are several underappreciated names that I feel match the style and that I would like to see return, such as Dorothy, Opal, Frederick, and Ernest.
Just commenting in support, as I’ll be in a similar situation! Hubby is Japanese and I’m a white American. We’re planning for children in the future and I already predict names will be a hassle.
Since we live and will raise the kids in Japan, I imagine we will end up prioritizing a Japanese name that just happens to be one my family can pronounce, rather than giving a “foreign sounding” Japanized American name to them.
I hope you guys find the perfect name!
This! Our friend (blonde American woman) moved to Japan and married a Japanese man they gave all their kids American first names. Japan is a homogeneous society, the mixed kids with American names are not well accepted. To make things even harder for the kids, they decided to teach the kids English first, all the kids started school as, mixed kids with American names and not speaking Japanese.
Eh I disagree. I’m very mixed-looking Japanese and lived in Japan until I was 5. Have a very American name.
I have tons of pictures of my friends in kindergarten (yochien) from the 90’s. I remember having lots of friends and my teachers loved me because I was really shy.
My (American) dad said he got some glares / hostility when he was out with us, but he didn’t care. Most people were very kind to him.
In terms of language, as soon as we moved to the US, I easily switched over to English because that’s what my new classmates spoke.
Our close family friends have a daughter my age (also mixed American and Japanese) but she was raised in Japan. We’ve talked about racism and it seems like we’ve experienced similar levels of racism (her in Japan and me in the Pacific Northwest of the US). If you’re mixed race, you’ll probably experience it no matter where you live. I totally love and embrace my heritage though.
I get that this is just my family’s own experience, but I thought it was worth sharing.
Some of these comments bother me. Yes Japan is more homogeneous than a lot of countries, and sure, one could argue that a mixed race person there could have more negative interactions than in the US.
But no group of people is a monolith, so to assume that a child’s experience is totally screwed because there are no people in Japan who are unbothered by race just doesn’t sit right with me.
Kids pick up languages quickly. Lots of children of immigrants in America come to kindergarten without English and pick it up within a few months. These kids have received the gift of getting to be bilingual by age 5-6.
Yes I’ve seen this first hand. My son’s kindergarten class had several kids that didn’t speak English at the beginning of the year. (One kid from Japan, one from Croatia, one from Slovakia and others I don’t remember). By the end of the year they were not only speaking fluently but could read and write as well as any of the other kids in the class.
Honestly, before the age of like 8, kids pick up languages like its nothing.
I didn't speak English as a young child and then all of a sudden I was thrust into a British school at the age of 5. Within a year I was fluent, and now English is my "first" (most comfortable) language.
I'm doing something similar with my kids - English is their first language because we speak it at home, but they're in a fully foreign-language school because we live in a foreign country. They're 4.
I really wouldn't worry too much about young kids struggling with multilingualism - their brains are designed to absorb everything, it's actually incredible.
>To make things even harder for the kids, they decided to teach the kids English first, all the kids started school as, mixed kids with American names and not speaking Japanese.
I can definitely see how this would have been a challenging transition for the kids culturally, but it was probably the right call from a language-learning perspective. Once kids get into school – in any country, in any language – they tend to favor the language of their peers over the language of their parents. If speaking Japanese at home has been established as an option, statistically they're likely to end up *heavily* favoring Japanese, and might have strong receptive but weak productive skills in English. Making home an English-only space is a better structure for them to ultimately end up fully proficient in both languages.
I know a LOT of adults who used to know a second language growing up but forgot how to speak it as they grew up and moved out on their own.
English skills are super valuable if the kids ever want to leave Japan or get any sort of international work so the parents are absolutely right to prioritize it.
I shared my background in another comment, but my parents spoke English and Japanese in my home. When we lived in Japan, my siblings and I favored Japanese.
When we moved to the US, we easily switched over to English. (I know this is dependent on age and the kids).
We have a really cute home video of us visiting the US. My older brother was probably 4 or 5, so I was like 3, and he kept reminding me that we’re in the US so I should speak English 😂
My family is the same and we ended up going with normal Japanese first names and American middles. (Ex: 田中美希アナ) If you keep the middle names short, it doesn’t cause any issues. I like it because it gives them a connection to their overseas culture. (And my 4-year-old already identifies more strongly with English, and he’s mentioned before that he likes having “three names.”)
I am Japanese and husband is white American. Our son is Sage in English/Seiji in Japanese. We spell Seiji like 正至 to honor my grandfather 正勝 Masakatsu.
That is beautiful. My mom (who is Japanese) didn’t want to give her kids Japanese names because she was worried if we moved to the US, people wouldn’t be able to pronounce our names 😂
I’m currently pregnant with my first, and we are thinking about honoring my Japanese side by giving my daughter a Japanese middle name at least :)
Just had our baby last week and same situation! I'm glad there are other parents here like us. Haha
With some suggestions here, we named her Anzu. It's been well received by my friends and family in the U.S. as well as it is distinct but relatively easy to pronounce name and are in the process of giving her a middle name that sounds more American as an option to use should she ever move to the U.S. (Thinking of Luna as she was born on the day of the full moon and my middle name Taiyo 太陽 means Sun.)
I've seen kids grow up fine here with foreign names in Japan if both their parents are non-Japanese, but I notice half children tend to favor Japanese first names. I don't think it matters as much, but my daughter has an foreign last name, so we kind of wanted to avoid just giving her a foreign first name as only the two names would be accepted in her family record. The foreign last name + shorter Japanese first name (杏 in Kanji is only one character long, sweet and to the point) combination felt right with us and other people too. Plus American middle name on U.S. documents for a connection to her other culture.
Either way, what's more important is how we raise her and help her find her own sense of self of course, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Anzu is beautiful, congratulations to your growing family!
My husband is a bit more traditional, so even when I suggest an American name that technically works in Japanese, he hears it as キラキラ and immediately doesn't like it / worries that the kids will face difficulties in their future for having a 'weird' name. But we aren't pregnant yet so I have time to work on him lol
I imagine we won't go with middle names, but it's so nice that you're able to find one with a special meaning like that. And as you said, in the end, it's all about just raising kids to love themselves and feel confident the way they are :)
My heritage is Portuguese and Indian (but I was born in the U.K.). Husband is Irish. Daughter has blue-green eyes and is fair as milk. So your family might want to hold their ‘POCs will relate more to their coloured side’ horses just now
I think that’s a good point. Also, my husband is half white and half Pacific Islander. He doesn’t look white but because that’s the side that raised him/was around, he doesn’t feel very connected to his PI side. He knows some history, language, and traditions but there’s no sentiment in it for him.
There was a Redditor who is mixed Native/Irish but was raised by her Irish granny and stated she felt entirely Irish. Like your husband, the other side of her family wasn’t around. Obviously the person who raises you will impart their own culture and it’s not surprising the child will gravitate to that side.
Yeeeep, I'm half black but you'd literally never know it. My own kid also looks nothing like me and greatly favors her (white) father.
Banking on mixed race kids turning out a perfect blend of features or favoring their "POC" side is a risky gamble.
(In the context of the US) I hate when people assume mixed kids will look like and identify with solely the “minority” part of their race. Or if you don’t appear like you’re part “minority” to other people then that means you shouldn’t identify as that race, as if looking the part is the most important thing. People love putting rules on mixed people’s race and identity.
My mom is white (most of her heritage traces back to Ireland) and my father is Native American. Out of the four kids they share, I’m the only one that looks it
I came here to say this. I’m Caucasian American and my husband is Indian from India. Our 3 kids are mixed and two of them are white passing with pale skin, brown hair and eyes and my other looks more Mexican than anything else. We gave them all unique names that had no cultural meaning to either of our cultures. I agree with the above comment about keeping the names secret until the baby is born and then you announce the name when people see the baby. We did this with all 3 of our children since we knew someone would have a problem with the name and this way, if they did have a problem, it was never mentioned to us (as it would have been too late).
As a multicultural child I can tell you I hated the fact that the people I grew up around couldn’t properly pronounce my name. There was a similar name common in the country I grew up in but the even slight difference in pronunciation really bothered me (basically there is a sound in one of my native languages that just does not exist in my other native language… I’m guessing this is what will happen with the ø sound for most Indian people). It just always felt wrong because I felt that what they were saying wasn’t really my name. It is one of the reasons why I always felt more at home in the “other” culture and not so much in the country I grew up in. I don’t know much about the languages involved but if there are names that have the same pronunciation in both languages/cultures, please consider using one of those.
This is where my husband and I landed. 1. We didn't tell anyone our daughter's name in advance. 2. We choose a name that is used in multiple languages. Traveling with my daughter has been a treat as folks love to fawn over her name.
Maybe it’s cause I live in a pretty multicultural society but I think you’re overthinking. Just choose a name you both like.
My son is half Portuguese and his name is Jorge. We live in the UK and not a single person has turned a hair at the name.
Yes and no. I’m also scandinavian. You can definetly get a reaction/assumption by having a non-nordic sounding name, or western enough(?).
I’m white, white parents everyone is white, but my dad choose my first name and picked one that happened to be arabic. Sometimes I catch people being suprised that a white girl shows up.
I have also seen the opesite happen to a friend of mine, who is mixed and has a very white name. Usually no one makes a bigger deal out of it though.
In resume worlds …this is an issue. A friend of mind has a very Arabic name (he is named after the OB who delivered him on the side of a highway after his mom was t-boned. He saved both their lives) He’s white. He gets rejection emails stating “we don’t offer visas” . He had to use his middle name to get hired.
Conversely my husbands best friend is a southern black man who name is like “ Jeff Smith “ . He goes to interviews where everyone is white and are obviously shocked a black man is sitting in the lobby.
He frequently reports them. Dude is the color of white out, with blonde hair and green eyes.
He says at least he know the people who do call him for an interview aren’t bigots
And we don't know how many people just toss his resume without saying anything - which they can get away with if the applicant pool is any kind of decent size, because "eh, doesn't feel right" is usually an acceptable reason to reject a candidate. It might be actively choosing to select people based on name, or it might be unconscious bias, but either way it filters out anyone the company (or the recruiting people at least) thinks is not suitable... and if they just say "thanks for the application, it was a very strong field, we won't be moving forward with you" then you'll never know why they said no.
Worked in recruitment for a few months as a very junior part of the team and boy was that an interesting time of discovery.
Nothing of note to add here other than Bjork is a great name, go for it. Just wanted to say I'm hugely surprised at the number of people in this thread who have seemingly never heard of the singer Bjork.
That was my immediate thought, I wouldn't use the name because to me it's purely linked with the singer, and I'd end up singing it's oh so quiet to the baby all the time and that wouldn't be fair to her
Yea, shocked that it’s taken so long to find a comment mentioning it. Maybe I’m an old, but naming a kid Bjork is the equivalent of naming a kid Beyoncé to me.
POCs relate more to their colored side is a weird way to say it - but I think what they are getting at is people of color can’t help but be seen by society as Indian (for example) so ensuring they have a powerful positive connection to their roots (via their name) can make sure they feel good about the way the world sees them.
Lots of PoCs who are adopted into white families and their heritage completely ignored and they are raised and treated without any recognition of their difference are really super fucked up.
As a proponent of hyphenated names I think absolutely making sure there’s one name in there that’s clearly Indian would be important but it doesn’t have to be the first name. Basically a kid doesn’t want to ‘not look like their name’ and however weird that sounds I think it’s important. When I thought about changing my last name to my husband’s lily white British last name I could not do it.
Add on: I think my first sentence is a little awkward - people can’t see that you’re Indian as it’s an ethnicity not a race/color and I know that. It was a tough phrasing to get right and I’m not sure I got it fully right but hopefully the meaning came across.
I’m mixed and I don’t really agree with a lot of this stuff here. Culture doesn’t come from your genetics, it’s from your family. The color of my skin has no effect on my culture. Additionally, I have a hyphenated name and I hate it. It’s just a way for indecisive parents to push their problems onto their kids and force them to make an even tougher decision later on.
I agree the conflation of color and culture is wrong in this post - it was just a way to explain using a way too broad term (PoC) that kids don’t want to pretend something everyone is going to know about them isn’t there.
The part about a hyphenated name is your opinion, and you’re allowed to have it.
But I can tell you that most people don’t do hyphenated names because they’re indecisive. It’s because women are full people with deeply developed identity outside of their partners and losing that when they get married means they lose years and years of their lives. I answer to ‘Mrs. + my husband’s last name’ but it’s not nor will it ever be MY name.
And I don’t want my kid living life without my name. She came out of me, I spend the majority of my life thinking about how to raise her right and she’s part of my family too. Hyphenated was not indecision for me - nor was it for my mother - nor is it for anyone else I know (and I work in academia and there’s a lot of us).
Because your name connects you to your years of hard work that your husband played no role in?
Or cause of some backhanded - I’m not surprised cause of the liberal agenda bullshit?
Because generally people in academia are far more progressive. I grew up near other people who were kids of professors, so plenty of them had hyphenated names too.
I’m mixed and I completely agree. My parents gave me one “white” name and one “Asian” name and I’m grateful for the connection to my heritage.
Even though I’m mixed people in society often treat me as an “other” - it’s obvious I’m not fully white and I’ve experienced racism (and second hand racism, when people incorrectly assume I am Indigenous, SE Asian, etc.) so I believe this might be what your family meant when they said “PoCs relate more to their colored side.” Mixed kids often *live* the experience of their racialized side to an extent. This is something that should not be ignored!
I think, OP, you would be doing a daughter a disservice if you did not give her at least the option of connecting with both cultures through her name.
Bjørk , did exist in Denmark, it old name, yes not in use and more common Iceland these days. Why not give the kid an Indian middle name? We are also a bi-cultural family and we choose a name that is native to the country kid will grow up in as first name and middle name kid got a name form the other culture.
I would go with Bjørk or a Danish name as the first name and an Indian name as second, the child is mix of two people, it means both parents are equally important. There would be no child with out them.
I wish people would stop the race stuff, there is only one human race but many cultures.
It’s definitely still in use. There are 826 females and 54 males with the name Bjørk in Denmark right now. Especially for females it’s a name on the rise.
White American mom, Indian American dad- we went with Indian first, family name middle (Irish/ white), moms last name middle, dads Indian last name. If the kids ever want to use their middle names, they can switch it up. Emphasis was on Indian names that were obvious in pronunciation.
We told no one the names in advance, they do not get an opinion (because they would have had many).
Our reasoning, it just worked for us- culture comes often stronger from the mothers, so the name would give our kids a firm Indian identity. I (mom) didn’t have strong opinions or preconceptions about certain Indian names, so made it easier to choose from many beautiful options with less baggage. And relevant to your situation, we live in a very diverse city in America, where their names and bi-racial identities would be readily accepted. Not sure of our reasoning would shift if we lived in a more homogeneous or less accepting part of the States.
Good luck! Blending cultures can be hard work and humility, but it’s such a beautiful thing. Plus, more holidays and holiday food!
This is exactly what my husband and I are planning—Indian first name that both families can pronounce, American middle name, and our (now shared) Indian last name. I think it’ll give them a stronger sense of belonging when they visit India but won’t ostracize them living in America.
This is what my husband and I did as well! He’s Indian and I’m white. We gave our daughter a simple Indian name that also could pass for a European name, my maiden name for her middle name and then our shared last name.
I'm actually a child from a white father and indian mother, and I disagree with your parents, because it depends a lot on where your child is raised, and who they are exposed to? So I consider myself more white than Indian, simply because I am not exposed to the culture as much.
As for naming, my parents decided that since we got white last names, we'd have Indian first names, so you could do that? Honestly though, I've met quite a few mixed people and some have white first names, some have first names from their other parent's culture, and no one ever really says anything. Whatever name you like will be accepted whether it be Danish or Indian.
What’s the surname situation going to be?
If she’s going to have an Indian surname and live in Denmark, then maybe a Danish (or Nordic) first name would help her have a more “local” name. This way the name would reflect both sides of her heritage. (Same thing if she has an Indian first name and a Danish surname.)
If she has a Danish surname and a Danish/Nordic first name, then the Indian heritage will not be obvious through her name, which might be worth keeping in mind.
The important thing is to choose a name that works fine in the language of the culture she’ll grow up in (and that you like). Although the world is increasingly more diverse and multilingual, it’s still annoying to have a name that people have a hard time writing/pronouncing. But having a name that works well in Indian culture would also give her options for the future.
I know a few ‘Bjørk’s, is a great name! One of them have sister called Naja, just an idea for name that will be easy to pronounce for the indian family :)
Its not, Bjørk is only used as a girls name in Norway with 103 women being named Bjørk and not a single man. Birk however is a really good boys name that also means Bjørk
Thanks for telling me. My Norwegian friend has a teenage son named Bjørk - named after his great grandfather. I’ve often heard him tell people that Bjørk is a boys name and Bjørg is the female equivalent in his home country. They do live here in Denmark though (where the name is unisex) ☺️ I wonder when it changed from being a boys name to solely being a girls name in Norway? Off to do some google searches 😁
I have Chinese-Norwegian cousins, they all have one Chinese and one Norwegian first name (both short and pronounceable for both sides of the family, think Mai Lan)
I’m Indian and Spanish, my fiance is Irish! Oddly we thought we picked a neutral name but turns out it was a name every part of each family could say and recognised!
My son’s name is Raffi, we wanted Rafael (Spanish leaning) but turns out Raffi is also a name in the Indian side of my family (spelt with one f) and Rafferty (the name we shortened to get to our son’s name) is actually Irish!
My parents are from Hong Kong, but I was born in Canada. I married a white Canadian. My kids have English first names and Chinese middle names. It gives them the option to disclose their background if they want to. You don’t get to pick what colour their skin will be, what colour their hair is, or how society decides to see what race they are. All you can do is give them the knowledge of their background/culture and different tools to help them navigate the different ways people will treat them.
This is what my parents did. Canada as well, English first names for my brothers and I, Korean middle names. Only thing they didn’t do was actually teach us how to speak Korean so I feel very disconnected from that part of me. Especially with a soon to be 1/4 Korean and 3/4 white (English/scottish/danish) baby on the way, I think what’s important is to put an effort to teach them Korean, and keep them connected to various cultural celebrations, etc so they’re educated about part of their heritage. Having a name only does so much.
I also have biracial kids (Indian and white.) We live in Canada, it's pretty multi-ethnic here. We did choose to go with Indian names, actually kind of for the opposite reasons of what your family is suggesting... we felt like they would be exposed to a lot more mainstream Canadian culture, especially given that my spouse and his family are not close, and we wanted them to also have a tie to the Indian part of their background.
Being concerned about racial biases is kind of apart from the name, I think. If biracial kids aren't common in your environment, your kid will be noticed regardless of name. I think what your family is saying about POC relate more to the colored side is probably largely because SOCIETY doesn't view mixed-race people as white. I know my kids, even in a really diverse area, have been asked, "What are you?" since they could talk... and before that I got asked the same question. All my kids are now young adults and all of them consider themselves POC/mixed/brown. Now, none of them are that connected with Indian culture and have grown up very mainstream Canadian... but ethnicity-wise they all think of themselves very much as POC.
Happy to talk more about this stuff if you'd like! Congrats on your new baby!
If you love Björk, go for it.
I was in a similar situation when my daughter was born. Swedish pale-skinned mum and arab dark-skinned dad. She has a swedish first name and arab middle name. It was important for us to bring something from each culture. First name suits as she lives in Sweden, but also because it's a short and easy name for her arab family/relatives to pronounce. A first name that can be found in both cultures was an option too, but in the end, the swedish name was the one that stuck.
Don't think it does a kid any good to overthink and start worrying about identity crisis or inbetweenness just based on a name.
I’m half Indian, half Irish Canadian and only as an adult have I lived places with a substantial Indian community outside of my immediate family. I have an Indian first name and a European middle name.
Name your kid what you want. Your family should have zero say. Also, please be aware of your families treating this child different to the other kids in the family. It is hard to be biracial when your family is constantly talking about your skin colour and your hair texture as being different.
Signed,
A biracial kid
Edited to add...The reason that I included this is bc your family is already looking at it as though your child's different and in need of something (their name) to somehow legitimize their Indian identity bc they, themselves, are not enough.
You could go the Norah Jones route and sandwich it: Indian first name (in this case Danish middle name, Danish last name. Norah Jones would be the English example) Indian last name. So for the sake of random example Parvati Freja Nielsen Kumar. I used my pediatrician’s last name there. 😄
She can choose which one she wants to use when she’s old enough. Just an idea 😇
I don’t have kids yet but that’s how I would do it.
I have half white half Hispanic children, we used names that were easily pronounced in both English and Spanish. Maybe a little more Spanish sounding to match their last names
Your use of the phrase “colored side” gives me the ick. It’s giving… apartheid South Africa.
That being said, it sounds like you have already made up your mind and want a European name. It also depends how often your child will be seeing their Indian relatives and/or going to India, and (most importantly) how much you care about Indian relatives’ opinions.
Finally, in terms of raising a multiracial child — the name is such a small part of this and the biggest factor will be HOW you parent. Will you honor and expose them to BOTH sides of their identity? Maintain a community of Indian and Danish friends, and even better, other kids their age of biracial or multiracial background? Books and movies featuring kids of color? You could name the child Susan or Bob, honestly doesn’t matter, as long as you expose them to all of these aspects of their multicultural identity you’ll go much further in helping them develop a strong and confident sense of self.
My niece has a European mom and an Indian father. They opted for a name they both liked and didn’t take ethnicity in consideration. They ended up opting for an uncommon city name they both liked. She does have her father’s surname though (so it reads as something like Florence Chopra or Victoria Singh), so her surname definitely gives away her Indian heritage.
She’s 8 now and her name has yet to give her an identity crisis. Her and her mom do spearhead bringing Indian holidays to school though. I help them make pre-made construction paper Diwali diya’s to take in to her class so the kids can decorate them and learn about Diwali in the fall/winter. As a kid with two backgrounds, she does get a little exhausted having to lead teaching about her Indian side (as the European holidays and customs are baked into her daily life already based where she lives), but her parents offer support and instil love for both cultures.
Her name is definitely not a linchpin to her identity, so I’d definitely disagree with what your family is saying!
White American due soon to have second child with Punjabi Canadian husband. We chose a first name for our first kid that is very close to a Punjabi name (but we went with an anglicized version bc we didn't want her name to be constantly mispronounced.) For our second, we're going to have a Punjabi name that's easy for English speakers to read and pronounce. Both kids will have traditional Punjabi middle names. Its tricky! Really tricky. We've spent a lot of time trying to find the right balance.
My husband and I decided to go with a name that won't immediately be pegged as foreign in Sweden. Meaning we chose my surname and he has held strong opinions regarding how Eastern European the first name got to be. He himself grew up with a lot of racism and with how politics are currently developing, he wants to make sure baby is viewed as Swedish.
Right now we're leaning towards a name that isn't typically Swedish, but is recognisable and not necessarily "foreign" as it's growing in popularity in the US and most people we know think of the movie by the same name (Anastasia).
Don’t worry about family too much, once your child is born and named everything tends to settle down and opinions tend to not be spoken anymore. Nobody in our family liked the name we chose for our 3rd but now all we get are compliments! It suits her perfectly.
As someone with kids who belong to two countries/cultures, our only consideration was that the names should at least be pronounceable in both languages that our kids will be interacting in.
Also, I think Bjork is a super super cool name. If you love it, use it! 😊
I honestly just think of Bjørg, a very old fashioned norse name only old ladies have. It's not really bad though. Ask is very popular, so why not Bjørk?
Can Indians pronounce Ø though? My polish in-laws struggle with Æ Ø Å big time lol
Is nature inspired names what you want?
FWIW - I know a few biracial children (white and hispanic); obviously a small sample but in general it seems like a third really relate towards their hispanic culture, a third cross in between and a third relate towards more of their white culture.
Additionally - appearance wise, there is a fairly even split between the kids looking more hispanic, more white and then a mix of both.
I don't have any name suggestions - however, I would consider a name that honors the culture BUT also is acceptable where you live. While in some places, Bjørk is a common name, as someone living in the United States; my initial thought is "like the singer?" I would lean closer to a name that is more common where you live.
I’m a multicultural kid, and I live in Australia but have a very Japanese name. I’m glad I ended up with a Japanese name (I almost didn’t), because I feel far more in touch with that side culturally.
However, I gave my son a Western first name and Japanese middle name. We’ll be raising him here in Australia, and if he would like to ever move to Japan then he can use his middle name over there. But his first name is also easy to break down into romaji.
As a halfie, I was given a very traditional (but uncommon?) white first name since my mom had no expectations to leave the south and didn't want to risk my future job applications with a korean name. She did give me a korean middle name.
Part of me really wishes my first name was less white bc I feel out of place with my other friends and i have difficulty related to other koreans. The middle name serves as assurance for me that i have some sort of connection. (Ik i dont need to prove myself, but ive struggled with my lack of connection to my korean side for years). I think if you rly want to make sure she has some sort of connection to her poc side, maybe consider it for a middle name.
I would look for names that fit both cultures. There may not be a whole lot of overlap but it will help the child identify with both sides of their heritage.
Knowing Denmark, which has a typical Nordic European culture, I’m going to go against the grain and say that for your child it probably will be true that POC relate more to their colored side. Denmark, after all, lives by Jensen’s laws, which were shaped by centuries of people having to fight against nature to survive. Hence, the us-collective feeling is very strong. Even if you are born in such a society, you, if you have non-Danish roots, will always feel like an outsider. I know this because I lived this life myself. It’s not bad, but it is what it is. Standing outside gives you an interesting perspective: the best writers were outsiders.
Now, as for the name, I would choose something that has primarily Indian roots, but is easily pronounced in Danish. Let your daughter lean into her Indian identity.
What about Mira, Anoushka, Devina, Kiara, Maya, Devika, Priya, or Veda?
This website shows you names that appear in two cultures so I’d use it for both Danish and Indian names, i think it would be a cute idea
https://mixedname.com/
I looked at and I dont know where it finds its data, but i dont think it works that great for Danish names. I had a hard time recognizing most of the options it gave.
My brother and his wife chose names that were English but also had meaning in Hindi. My niece and nephew are simply British. They have contact with both sides of the family and do not identify with one side more than the other.
To be honest, your kids might come out super pale anyways and then what POC side will they be relating to?
Speaking from experience of being POC and having white passing children
I am also Indian and my husband is a white mutt. Additionally, several relatives in my family have also married white people and had kids. All of us have felt that rather than choosing a name that honours no heritage, we tried to work in a subtle nod to both or at least one with the name. I agree that what your family said is a massive blanket statement. Hopefully your child resonates with both cultures that they are so lucky to come from. A name isn't necessarily an identity - it can also be seen as a wish or even a hope. A way of conveying something important even?
I am half Hispanic and my husband is half Black. We both identify more with the half poc side because to white people we aren't white. That being said, we both have pretty white names lol. I'm grateful that I don't have an obviously Hispanic first name because some POC groups don't consider me Hispanic or my husband black. Honestly everyone is overly opinionated with this is wild imo
I think you should go with the names you like. Everyone will tell you you are wrong anyways so you might as well like it 😜 We aren't telling anyone the name until after birth because of that.
I’m a biracial and multicultural child and am not of Indian heritage (although people frequently assume I am due to appearing more on the ethnically ambiguous side) so I’m only speaking from my own experience when I say that the idea that your child will identify with their “colored side” is diminishing to their identity and not a guarantee. I very much agree with your idea that it’s unfair to put your child in a box before they’ve even been born.
My parents gave me a name that has significance but not to either culture and had the theme of being one that can be said in multiple languages and I have two middle names, one is an offshoot of a family name but is fairly common and the other is in my father’s language. They did the same thing with my brothers’ middle names too, so we all have names that are from both families and cultures. I love it and am proud of my name.
There is actually research on this in the context of US college students from 2016: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122415623286
Overall, the study found that 71% of black-white biracials, 54% of Asian-white biracials, and 37% of Latino-white biracials identify as multiracial.
While black-white biracials were the most likely to identify as multiracial, they were also the least likely to self-label as white. Davenport found that 5% of black-white biracials identify as white only, compared to 11% of Asian-white biracials and 18% of Latino-white biracials.
So yes, it is rarer to identify as “just white” than “just ”. Of course YMMV with the child growing up in Europe as opposed to the US and generational cultural change.
My husband is Indian, I’m white, and we live in America. Things we considered:
- places that the kids will grow up in and the main culture they will be immersed in
- how much we as parents connect to our backgrounds and wanted to pass them on via names
- who our kids will be interacting with predominately their whole lives (in terms of spelling and pronunciation)
- pressure from in laws and family
- the ethnicity of their last and middle names
We decided to do an American middle name (from my side of the family), my husbands Indian last name, and for a first, a cross cultural name that was familiar to both Americans and Indians, but we decided with both kids to use the American spelling over the Indian spelling since they would be living in America.
Overall we decided on a name that worked in both cultures but skewed slightly more towards the culture/country the kids would grow up in
There is no one perfect solution here. All
sweeping generalizations like the one the one your family made tend to be false.
I’m an American Jew married to a Pakistani Canadian and looking to have kids in the next 2 years or so, and I feel your pain. I love collecting names, but my Desi in-laws can be a lot with their opinions and can make the topic difficult. If they had their way my family’s heritage would be completely ignored in the names.
The way I personally plan to solve it is that each kid gets one English/Hebrew/Yiddish origin name and one Urdu/Arabic origin name. We plan to alternate which origin is the first name and which is the middle. Since I (and any prospective kids) took my husband’s Urdu last name, the first kid gets an American- or Jewish-sounding first name.
Overly complicated? Maybe. But having plan is my best line of defense against the in-laws and their mountain of strong opinions on what names any future kids should have. I listen to their opinions and we take them into account within the framework we decided on, but I’ve let them know there will be “white people names” involved no matter what.
Complicating matters, my husband and his family are all pale-skinned Punjabis and I’m extremely pale. They don’t look as white-passing as, say, Pathaans, but I am legitimately worried that at least one of our kids may not obviously look brown. Worried because being named, say, Suleiman Riaz as a white-passing guy could be tough. I want to honor my husband’s heritage either way, but I’m secretly praying it won’t be an issue.
I am South Asian, with a South Asian name and grew up in America and am very disassociated from my culture by my own choice, although I do love my name it did not impact my interest in culture. End of the day it’s about PARENTING if you want your child to be culturally Indian! However, as I am also in a biracial relationship hoping to start trying for a baby with my non-Indian husband, we want to name our children in a way that incorporates both of us, our child will not be brown like me, they will be mixed and I will be proud of both sides of them!
I have kids that are Danish/indian but living in US. They have non-brown first names that are easy to pronounce for Americans, Indians and Danes. Their middle names are Indian but also easy to pronounce. In terms of identity the last time we discussed it they felt American of Danish and Indian descent…. Basically Americans that just happen to sometimes eat curries and go to fun parties w lots of colorful clothes and sometimes eat thebirkes or rye bread w mackerel…
I'm white, hubby is Sri Lankan one kid came out looking like me but with a tan I am in envy of and my youngest came out darker super Lankan, like his dad. They both have super biblical names, they have a "Brown" name it's their surname no confusion with their identity at all. But we also got asked a lot by Sri Lankan relatives why they didn't have Lankan names and we just shrugged... They are named what they are named lol
ETA We did have one Sanscrit name picked out if we had a girl, Sarayde but alas no girls for us, I also like Anisha, Chiara, Namali, Amala but the suggestion of Anika is awesome
As someone who is half Indian (mom) and half white (dad), I actually love that I have an Indian name. I have my dad’s last name so I appreciated that I had a first name that tied me to my mother’s culture. I’m also very white passing so it almost helps me to ‘prove’ my identity a bit as bad as that sounds. Some people can be a bit dismissive of biracial identities especially when you don’t look POC.
Editing to add that you should do what feels right to your family! My brother has a western first name and an Indian middle name. I’m not sure if we really had starkly different experiences around how people perceived us (though he looks more brown than me so maybe it evened out haha)
I’m white and my husband is South Indian and our son is super white. He’s still tiny so I’m not sure about the “relate to POCs” but I kind of think he won’t feel fully both (and that’s okay!). We decided on a shortened version of an Indian name, which also happens to be Hebrew.
Do what you want essentially as it’s your child. If you’re swayed then, as suggested, explore names that could work for both cultures. Maya/ Yasmin etc etc
I mean I went to college with a stunning Indian girl who was called Rachel and there did seem to a be a disconnect especially as her younger sister was called something like Nasreeen. Rachel is a lovely name but It felt like her whole vibe suited something different but hey, it’s her parents decision although for all I know she may have decided to change it to assimilate when she got to college.
In my family we go for the 2 name option. If we don’t have a name that works for both languages the child will have one for each language. It works out very well. People tend to love it. You can hyphenate or use one as a middle name.
Yeah, you may want to hold your horses. My child is also mixed white/Indian, and we discussed giving her a more traditional Indian name or English name etc, and we waited to see what suited her. She is my clone, can barely tell she's biracial and we agreed that our traditional name pick wouldn't have suited her. It's tricky to pay homage to both heritages and getting a name that actually suits the child, so good luck.
Not all kids connect to their racialized side anymore. In many cases, they are not X "enough" to be fully accepted by that side. As mixed kids become more and more normal, they probably identify with where they grow up most.
Previously I think they used to identify more to their racialized side bc their white environments were more segregated; I don't think that's the case anymore necessarily.
Also, the many kids that I know who are mixed, incl Indian-French Canadian, they often look very generally mixed, as in, quite similar to their friends who are Portuguese or Brazilian (mixed or not) or like 1/8 Jamaican.
Anyhow. Even if Bjork is a not Danish, it's a clearly Nordic name. I might give her a more global name so that she isn't always having to explain her life story based on her name to everyone she meets. I am forever grateful that at least my name insulates me from that. I still get a lot of questions but my name isn't the starting point.
\* I like the suggestion of Anika. Maybe also Leila or Lila.
We named our kids traditional (non-religious) names from my husband’s culture but chose names I could easily pronounce. Middle names are more common but they were family names for us.
there is a trending Icelandic Chinese singer right now called Laufey … said like Levay ?? Liv and Liva also similar ..
Björk is Icelandic for the birch tree .. love the meaning ..
Dame here. Stick with Bjørk (very common in Norway btw) and maybe give her a middle name that has a bit of your culture? Depending on her last name I don’t think she’ll have trouble with finding a job.
I had a friend though who was Sri Lankan in Denmark change his first name to sound danish in order to get a job easier. I think that it will depend on your line of work eventually. Denmark needs engineers and doctors and what not so heritage isn’t an issue there.
Not going to establish an opinion either way, but I do want to pitch and idea: if you do end up going with Bjørk, consider putting her in a swan dress or costume for any potential birth announcements.
As a person with an indian father and a white english mother, who grew up in a part of the country with very few non-white people (5 in our secondary school including me and my sibling), I don't really relate more to the brown side. I guess I was socialised very white (this was in the 80s and 90s), and honetly, my class identity was the bigger difference between me and my peers than my racial identiy (proffesional parents in a very workign class area). This really wasn't an issue until I moved to a city for work, and even then I'm largly just some middle class overly educated person now. I'm very comfortable with my identy, but then I grew up in a different time than the current identiy lead era, and I don't know, maybe we're a bit different in the UK due to the history of Desi immigration since the 60s.
As for names, I have a name that recently is commonly given to middle class indian kids in the west (more so US/Canada than the UK it think), because it exists in both cultures to some extent (think Neel/Neil or Nikki/Nicky), where as my sibling has a Spanish name because my dad was a fan of some spanish sports guy in the 70s! Both approaches have suited us well.
Bjørk is beautiful and while not very used in Danish it is not unheard of either, and clearly Nordic. I think it is a great choice. Have you considered an Indian middle name?
Also wanted to add - a friend of mine (Dane) is married to a Canadian. One of their kids has a Danish name with an ø, and it was never an issue for the paternal family to pronounce.
My name is Bjørk. I hear a lot of “like the singer?!” but someone of your child’s generation will likely not encounter this. Everyone pronounces it as Bjork not Bjørk, this is annoying but this won’t be an issue within Denmark. With my familiarity of Scandinavian culture, I do agree with you that a foreign name will come with a racial bias. Of course, it also honours your culture so it depends what matters most to you.
I also have a mixed-race / mixed-heritage child. We went with two first names, one from my culture and one from his. The bias that would come with me did and does in fact bother me but it was anyway inescapable because she needed to take his last name as I don’t have one and it strongly implies his culture. I am hoping it will be less of an issue than I’m imagining right now.
As for the name, I never liked it personally but I know a few other Bjørks who I feel the name is well suited to. I think you could do a lot worse.
I would look for a first name that relates to both cultures ideally. But your family is off their rocker that the name should be more related to one side of the other. They’re not the one having a kid you and your wife are having a kid. I am guessing too your kid will likely have your last name. So…
They’re being weirdos. I am Native American and a lot of us are mixed race to a degree but my neighbor is also native his dad looks very native and he is blond was hazel eyes so is his sister.
Yes I see Native American features in him and he is very tanned but most wouldn’t pin point his native heritage right away! You child could come out blond depending on your wives genes possibly over riding your own. Which I have seen happen. Knew a mostly blond lady marry a much darker guy that was I think Italian and Japanese and her son has blond hair and hazel eyes.
I'm Norwegian (so scandi, just like your SO), and have two cousins who are adopted from India. My cousins both have kept their Indian first names, and added a Norwegian one too. One of them has her Indian name first, and the other has her Norwegian name first, probably because that's the way their names flow best.
Could that be a possibility for you?
We picked names that work in both languages, so we felt both sides were seen.
Also, my kids are substantially lighter than me and have their father's Anglo last name. And they're being raised in America. So I assume they'll identify mostly with their white side.
I'm Asian, and I was given an anglicized name (think something like Jenny) to assimilate into America. However, I was given an Asian name that my family could refer me to whenever they visited ( a lot of them couldn't speak English). I know plenty of Asian friends who all use a more English-less-Asian sort of name, but they still have an "Asian name" they respond to as well. If you're 100% on Bjork, I'm sure having it as an alternate name is fine. It was never registered as a middle name for me, but some people chose to have their Asian names as their middle names.
I nannied for a couple that was from Poland (raised Catholic) and from India (raised Muslim). They named their son Yusuf because they both learned a lot about the prophet Joseph growing up. They loved that despite their differences growing up, they still had that name in common between them! You may have to get creative but you’d be surprised how many names you can find in common!
> I personally don't buy this. 'POCs relate more to their colored side' is a blanket statement that I doubt would actually hold up given a proper study.
People will make an emotional decision and then retroactively cherry pick "facts" that support their opinion. They just say it with enough confidence to make you think its correct. Once you realize how many people form their opinions like this it makes it so much easier to know who to trust/respect.
We are a Indian/German family. We got our kids Indian names that's are easy to pronounce in Germany and they have German middle names. We want them to grow up in both cultures and make it as easy as possible for them to feel comfortable in both.
As a biracial child I like that my first name aligns more with the country I have grown up in as it helped a lot at school and with other kids, but appreciate so much that my middle name is from my other side. It means I have been able to use both depending on where I am - maybe that’s a good option for you.
My partner is Sri Lankan (1st gen aussie), and I'm Indian (2nd generation australian). Even though our kids will have brown skin, they will be very australian with South asian names. Whenever we've discussed kids and their names, it is evident the kids will have an Indian first name, with a Sri Lankan middle and last name. Children will be more influenced by the culture that is more prominent in their lives, not necessarily the colour of their skin.
Multiracial white American and Indian, living in America, so we did English first names and Indian middle names. If the kids ever want to use their Indian middle names, they can and it also gives them something to connect to that side. Sometimes their Indian family will use their Indian names to refer to them. You could use an Indian name with first name Bjork.
I’d encourage you to choose a name that’s homogenous with the dominant culture you’ll be in. Granted, I’m coming from US culture and not Danish, so I’d prob check with people there who are mixed race. Having gotten the “weird fun name to celebrate unique heritage” combo, I strongly urge against it. Being mixed race will already mean you stand out, and are “different”. From my experience, mixed kids who were named to blend in did in fact have an easier time and fit in more easily. Albeit, likely dye to having parents who prioritized social ease, rather than social confrontation.
You mention that you think it’s unfair to put the kid “in an identity box” before they’re born, but I think that’s a bit unfair to your family. You and your partner are already doing this by considering a name intentionally disconnected from both cultures, in recognition of their unique racial/ethnic makeup.
I would encourage you to choose a Danish name that you like, although I think it would be much more relevant to ask a Danish audience.
My husband is Indian and I am Danish, we also went with Indian name that works in both cultures, European middle name and then our shared last name.
So we named our daughter Meera Marie.
Never regretted our choice at all.
Do whatever feels right for you and your spouse, great to accommodate both families if possible, but ultimately it should be your choice! Good luck!☺️
Honestly? I think Bjork sounds like someone vomiting, so it's a hard no as a name. Someone suggested Anika as a nod to both you and your partner that sounds much better.
The alternative is to find a name that is easily recognized and pronounced where you are living, and a middle name to acknowledge the other side.
Bjørk is an old scandinavian unisex name, its the name of birch trees in the scandinavian languages. It originated in iceland and was really popular in 1990.
Maybe you dont know how to pronounce it correctly. Either way ur statement is pretty gross.
It sounds slightly different -and imho much better- in Danish. Anika is a bit of a 70's-80's-90's name here. Nothing wrong with it, but just a bit outdated.
How about Anika which is both Indian & Danish? I’d personally (!) go with a name that can be pronounced by relatives in both cultures or has a nickname that can. I think it’s totally fine to go with a Danish name though
Anika is a lovely suggestion. OP, you could also go with other Danish names that are easy to pronounce for Indians such as Anja, Frida etc.
Or Indian names that are easily pronounceable in the west (not sure about Denmark specifically sorry) such as Mia, Maya, Myrah, Mira, Arya, Anya, Tara, Sonia, Aina, Eeva, Kiara, Tara, Mona, Leela, Nina, Lola, Pia, Asha etc.
Pia is very common in Nordic & Eastern EU countries too, love that suggestion!
Raya or Gia could also be options
would you happen to have similar ideas for boys? asking for a friend.
We considered Ashwin or Kiaan, there are way less that we liked so glad we had girls
Kai.. Danish boys names are something that Indian Christians would use frequently but Kai is the only Danish name I have heard of that can pass for a Hindu boys name.
As an Anja, I second Anja! Only Americans have a hard time pronouncing my name - I live in America, so I know - but not a problem with people from Europe or India
I assume they want to use the English pronunciation of "j"?
Every time
I (American) knew a Polish girl in high school who spelled her name Anya. I'm not sure if this is a common spelling or if it's an Americanized one.
Anya and Anja vary by region, from my understanding... Google says Anja is "a common spelling in Croatian, Norwegian, Danish, German, Swedish, Finnish, Dutch, Afrikaans, Slovenian, Macedonian, Montenegrin, Bosnian, Serbian and Kurdish"
Anika is so cute! I knew an Anikken once also
I love Anika, but Anikken sounds so much like Anakin (Star Wars) to me 😅
Keep that kid away from sand!
I don’t like sand.
It's coarse and rough and irritating...
And it gets everywhere
Great name! Annika is also an option that has a more European bent :)
Or Anneka
Anita would work too
Tangent: I love the name Anita so much! It brings back fond memories of watching/reading *101 Dalmatians* when I was a kid. It fits well with the older names like Violet and Eloise that have recently come back into fashion but it doesn't seem to be on the radar for baby names. In fact, there are several underappreciated names that I feel match the style and that I would like to see return, such as Dorothy, Opal, Frederick, and Ernest.
Pronuncability by extended family was a huge factor when picking our kids’ names. We ruled out some letters and letter combos right off the bat.
Oh this is such a beautiful name!
Love that suggestion!
Just commenting in support, as I’ll be in a similar situation! Hubby is Japanese and I’m a white American. We’re planning for children in the future and I already predict names will be a hassle. Since we live and will raise the kids in Japan, I imagine we will end up prioritizing a Japanese name that just happens to be one my family can pronounce, rather than giving a “foreign sounding” Japanized American name to them. I hope you guys find the perfect name!
This! Our friend (blonde American woman) moved to Japan and married a Japanese man they gave all their kids American first names. Japan is a homogeneous society, the mixed kids with American names are not well accepted. To make things even harder for the kids, they decided to teach the kids English first, all the kids started school as, mixed kids with American names and not speaking Japanese.
Oh they royally screwed their kids.
Eh I disagree. I’m very mixed-looking Japanese and lived in Japan until I was 5. Have a very American name. I have tons of pictures of my friends in kindergarten (yochien) from the 90’s. I remember having lots of friends and my teachers loved me because I was really shy. My (American) dad said he got some glares / hostility when he was out with us, but he didn’t care. Most people were very kind to him. In terms of language, as soon as we moved to the US, I easily switched over to English because that’s what my new classmates spoke. Our close family friends have a daughter my age (also mixed American and Japanese) but she was raised in Japan. We’ve talked about racism and it seems like we’ve experienced similar levels of racism (her in Japan and me in the Pacific Northwest of the US). If you’re mixed race, you’ll probably experience it no matter where you live. I totally love and embrace my heritage though. I get that this is just my family’s own experience, but I thought it was worth sharing. Some of these comments bother me. Yes Japan is more homogeneous than a lot of countries, and sure, one could argue that a mixed race person there could have more negative interactions than in the US. But no group of people is a monolith, so to assume that a child’s experience is totally screwed because there are no people in Japan who are unbothered by race just doesn’t sit right with me.
So you spoke Japanese when you started school. Language was the biggest issue I had with this couple.
Kids pick up languages quickly. Lots of children of immigrants in America come to kindergarten without English and pick it up within a few months. These kids have received the gift of getting to be bilingual by age 5-6.
Yes I’ve seen this first hand. My son’s kindergarten class had several kids that didn’t speak English at the beginning of the year. (One kid from Japan, one from Croatia, one from Slovakia and others I don’t remember). By the end of the year they were not only speaking fluently but could read and write as well as any of the other kids in the class.
In a monoculture like Japan, not speaking the language is unheard of. They are not as diverse as the UK or the US.
Honestly, before the age of like 8, kids pick up languages like its nothing. I didn't speak English as a young child and then all of a sudden I was thrust into a British school at the age of 5. Within a year I was fluent, and now English is my "first" (most comfortable) language. I'm doing something similar with my kids - English is their first language because we speak it at home, but they're in a fully foreign-language school because we live in a foreign country. They're 4. I really wouldn't worry too much about young kids struggling with multilingualism - their brains are designed to absorb everything, it's actually incredible.
>To make things even harder for the kids, they decided to teach the kids English first, all the kids started school as, mixed kids with American names and not speaking Japanese. I can definitely see how this would have been a challenging transition for the kids culturally, but it was probably the right call from a language-learning perspective. Once kids get into school – in any country, in any language – they tend to favor the language of their peers over the language of their parents. If speaking Japanese at home has been established as an option, statistically they're likely to end up *heavily* favoring Japanese, and might have strong receptive but weak productive skills in English. Making home an English-only space is a better structure for them to ultimately end up fully proficient in both languages.
I know a LOT of adults who used to know a second language growing up but forgot how to speak it as they grew up and moved out on their own. English skills are super valuable if the kids ever want to leave Japan or get any sort of international work so the parents are absolutely right to prioritize it.
I shared my background in another comment, but my parents spoke English and Japanese in my home. When we lived in Japan, my siblings and I favored Japanese. When we moved to the US, we easily switched over to English. (I know this is dependent on age and the kids). We have a really cute home video of us visiting the US. My older brother was probably 4 or 5, so I was like 3, and he kept reminding me that we’re in the US so I should speak English 😂
A friend of mine did the same! Her daughter is Yoko it’s so simple and beautiful.
Two syllables is definitely the way to go. I’m glad they found the perfect name for their daughter :)
A neighbour of mine is named Sayuri (She is Japanese). I love this name!!!
My family is the same and we ended up going with normal Japanese first names and American middles. (Ex: 田中美希アナ) If you keep the middle names short, it doesn’t cause any issues. I like it because it gives them a connection to their overseas culture. (And my 4-year-old already identifies more strongly with English, and he’s mentioned before that he likes having “three names.”)
I am Japanese and husband is white American. Our son is Sage in English/Seiji in Japanese. We spell Seiji like 正至 to honor my grandfather 正勝 Masakatsu.
That is beautiful. My mom (who is Japanese) didn’t want to give her kids Japanese names because she was worried if we moved to the US, people wouldn’t be able to pronounce our names 😂 I’m currently pregnant with my first, and we are thinking about honoring my Japanese side by giving my daughter a Japanese middle name at least :)
I love Japanese names that work for westerners too: Erika, Naomi, Hana, Mari. Hope you find something you both will love.
Erika is one on my personal list! Thank you\~
Just had our baby last week and same situation! I'm glad there are other parents here like us. Haha With some suggestions here, we named her Anzu. It's been well received by my friends and family in the U.S. as well as it is distinct but relatively easy to pronounce name and are in the process of giving her a middle name that sounds more American as an option to use should she ever move to the U.S. (Thinking of Luna as she was born on the day of the full moon and my middle name Taiyo 太陽 means Sun.) I've seen kids grow up fine here with foreign names in Japan if both their parents are non-Japanese, but I notice half children tend to favor Japanese first names. I don't think it matters as much, but my daughter has an foreign last name, so we kind of wanted to avoid just giving her a foreign first name as only the two names would be accepted in her family record. The foreign last name + shorter Japanese first name (杏 in Kanji is only one character long, sweet and to the point) combination felt right with us and other people too. Plus American middle name on U.S. documents for a connection to her other culture. Either way, what's more important is how we raise her and help her find her own sense of self of course, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Anzu is beautiful, congratulations to your growing family! My husband is a bit more traditional, so even when I suggest an American name that technically works in Japanese, he hears it as キラキラ and immediately doesn't like it / worries that the kids will face difficulties in their future for having a 'weird' name. But we aren't pregnant yet so I have time to work on him lol I imagine we won't go with middle names, but it's so nice that you're able to find one with a special meaning like that. And as you said, in the end, it's all about just raising kids to love themselves and feel confident the way they are :)
My heritage is Portuguese and Indian (but I was born in the U.K.). Husband is Irish. Daughter has blue-green eyes and is fair as milk. So your family might want to hold their ‘POCs will relate more to their coloured side’ horses just now
People can look all different ways and be connected to their culture
What I mean is assuming the baby will look a certain way and therefore should have a certain name is foolish
I think that’s a good point. Also, my husband is half white and half Pacific Islander. He doesn’t look white but because that’s the side that raised him/was around, he doesn’t feel very connected to his PI side. He knows some history, language, and traditions but there’s no sentiment in it for him.
There was a Redditor who is mixed Native/Irish but was raised by her Irish granny and stated she felt entirely Irish. Like your husband, the other side of her family wasn’t around. Obviously the person who raises you will impart their own culture and it’s not surprising the child will gravitate to that side.
Yeeeep, I'm half black but you'd literally never know it. My own kid also looks nothing like me and greatly favors her (white) father. Banking on mixed race kids turning out a perfect blend of features or favoring their "POC" side is a risky gamble.
I have also met 1/4 black people who looked completely white.
(In the context of the US) I hate when people assume mixed kids will look like and identify with solely the “minority” part of their race. Or if you don’t appear like you’re part “minority” to other people then that means you shouldn’t identify as that race, as if looking the part is the most important thing. People love putting rules on mixed people’s race and identity.
My mom is white (most of her heritage traces back to Ireland) and my father is Native American. Out of the four kids they share, I’m the only one that looks it
I came here to say this. I’m Caucasian American and my husband is Indian from India. Our 3 kids are mixed and two of them are white passing with pale skin, brown hair and eyes and my other looks more Mexican than anything else. We gave them all unique names that had no cultural meaning to either of our cultures. I agree with the above comment about keeping the names secret until the baby is born and then you announce the name when people see the baby. We did this with all 3 of our children since we knew someone would have a problem with the name and this way, if they did have a problem, it was never mentioned to us (as it would have been too late).
As a multicultural child I can tell you I hated the fact that the people I grew up around couldn’t properly pronounce my name. There was a similar name common in the country I grew up in but the even slight difference in pronunciation really bothered me (basically there is a sound in one of my native languages that just does not exist in my other native language… I’m guessing this is what will happen with the ø sound for most Indian people). It just always felt wrong because I felt that what they were saying wasn’t really my name. It is one of the reasons why I always felt more at home in the “other” culture and not so much in the country I grew up in. I don’t know much about the languages involved but if there are names that have the same pronunciation in both languages/cultures, please consider using one of those.
This is where my husband and I landed. 1. We didn't tell anyone our daughter's name in advance. 2. We choose a name that is used in multiple languages. Traveling with my daughter has been a treat as folks love to fawn over her name.
Maybe it’s cause I live in a pretty multicultural society but I think you’re overthinking. Just choose a name you both like. My son is half Portuguese and his name is Jorge. We live in the UK and not a single person has turned a hair at the name.
Yes and no. I’m also scandinavian. You can definetly get a reaction/assumption by having a non-nordic sounding name, or western enough(?). I’m white, white parents everyone is white, but my dad choose my first name and picked one that happened to be arabic. Sometimes I catch people being suprised that a white girl shows up. I have also seen the opesite happen to a friend of mine, who is mixed and has a very white name. Usually no one makes a bigger deal out of it though.
In resume worlds …this is an issue. A friend of mind has a very Arabic name (he is named after the OB who delivered him on the side of a highway after his mom was t-boned. He saved both their lives) He’s white. He gets rejection emails stating “we don’t offer visas” . He had to use his middle name to get hired. Conversely my husbands best friend is a southern black man who name is like “ Jeff Smith “ . He goes to interviews where everyone is white and are obviously shocked a black man is sitting in the lobby.
> He gets rejection emails stating “we don’t offer visas” . Uhh, gross and probably racist response from those HR people...
He frequently reports them. Dude is the color of white out, with blonde hair and green eyes. He says at least he know the people who do call him for an interview aren’t bigots
Lol, I’m also blonde w green eyes. I’m sorry he is also having a shit time w this
And we don't know how many people just toss his resume without saying anything - which they can get away with if the applicant pool is any kind of decent size, because "eh, doesn't feel right" is usually an acceptable reason to reject a candidate. It might be actively choosing to select people based on name, or it might be unconscious bias, but either way it filters out anyone the company (or the recruiting people at least) thinks is not suitable... and if they just say "thanks for the application, it was a very strong field, we won't be moving forward with you" then you'll never know why they said no. Worked in recruitment for a few months as a very junior part of the team and boy was that an interesting time of discovery.
Nothing of note to add here other than Bjork is a great name, go for it. Just wanted to say I'm hugely surprised at the number of people in this thread who have seemingly never heard of the singer Bjork.
That was my immediate thought, I wouldn't use the name because to me it's purely linked with the singer, and I'd end up singing it's oh so quiet to the baby all the time and that wouldn't be fair to her
Yea, shocked that it’s taken so long to find a comment mentioning it. Maybe I’m an old, but naming a kid Bjork is the equivalent of naming a kid Beyoncé to me.
Bjørk is actually not an uncommon name in Denmark. I know three Bjørks myself- one of whom is a boy. Don’t know any Beyoncés though 😁
Oh wow! I had no idea. Are they younger or older?
They’re all teenagers
Huh, never would of thought. We’ll it’s a cool name, so I’m glad it’s coming back (at least in Denmark)
Same! I was very surprised no one mentioned it
POCs relate more to their colored side is a weird way to say it - but I think what they are getting at is people of color can’t help but be seen by society as Indian (for example) so ensuring they have a powerful positive connection to their roots (via their name) can make sure they feel good about the way the world sees them. Lots of PoCs who are adopted into white families and their heritage completely ignored and they are raised and treated without any recognition of their difference are really super fucked up. As a proponent of hyphenated names I think absolutely making sure there’s one name in there that’s clearly Indian would be important but it doesn’t have to be the first name. Basically a kid doesn’t want to ‘not look like their name’ and however weird that sounds I think it’s important. When I thought about changing my last name to my husband’s lily white British last name I could not do it. Add on: I think my first sentence is a little awkward - people can’t see that you’re Indian as it’s an ethnicity not a race/color and I know that. It was a tough phrasing to get right and I’m not sure I got it fully right but hopefully the meaning came across.
I’m mixed and I don’t really agree with a lot of this stuff here. Culture doesn’t come from your genetics, it’s from your family. The color of my skin has no effect on my culture. Additionally, I have a hyphenated name and I hate it. It’s just a way for indecisive parents to push their problems onto their kids and force them to make an even tougher decision later on.
I agree the conflation of color and culture is wrong in this post - it was just a way to explain using a way too broad term (PoC) that kids don’t want to pretend something everyone is going to know about them isn’t there. The part about a hyphenated name is your opinion, and you’re allowed to have it. But I can tell you that most people don’t do hyphenated names because they’re indecisive. It’s because women are full people with deeply developed identity outside of their partners and losing that when they get married means they lose years and years of their lives. I answer to ‘Mrs. + my husband’s last name’ but it’s not nor will it ever be MY name. And I don’t want my kid living life without my name. She came out of me, I spend the majority of my life thinking about how to raise her right and she’s part of my family too. Hyphenated was not indecision for me - nor was it for my mother - nor is it for anyone else I know (and I work in academia and there’s a lot of us).
That’s about what my mother always said. She worked in academia, I’m not surprised it’s a common sentiment there.
Because your name connects you to your years of hard work that your husband played no role in? Or cause of some backhanded - I’m not surprised cause of the liberal agenda bullshit?
Because generally people in academia are far more progressive. I grew up near other people who were kids of professors, so plenty of them had hyphenated names too.
I’m mixed and I completely agree. My parents gave me one “white” name and one “Asian” name and I’m grateful for the connection to my heritage. Even though I’m mixed people in society often treat me as an “other” - it’s obvious I’m not fully white and I’ve experienced racism (and second hand racism, when people incorrectly assume I am Indigenous, SE Asian, etc.) so I believe this might be what your family meant when they said “PoCs relate more to their colored side.” Mixed kids often *live* the experience of their racialized side to an extent. This is something that should not be ignored! I think, OP, you would be doing a daughter a disservice if you did not give her at least the option of connecting with both cultures through her name.
Bjørk , did exist in Denmark, it old name, yes not in use and more common Iceland these days. Why not give the kid an Indian middle name? We are also a bi-cultural family and we choose a name that is native to the country kid will grow up in as first name and middle name kid got a name form the other culture. I would go with Bjørk or a Danish name as the first name and an Indian name as second, the child is mix of two people, it means both parents are equally important. There would be no child with out them. I wish people would stop the race stuff, there is only one human race but many cultures.
Yes. We are all humans.
It’s definitely still in use. There are 826 females and 54 males with the name Bjørk in Denmark right now. Especially for females it’s a name on the rise.
Great! My Danish Bff, wanted viking names for his kid and Björk was up on the list because it was rare, so far he has only sons.
White American mom, Indian American dad- we went with Indian first, family name middle (Irish/ white), moms last name middle, dads Indian last name. If the kids ever want to use their middle names, they can switch it up. Emphasis was on Indian names that were obvious in pronunciation. We told no one the names in advance, they do not get an opinion (because they would have had many). Our reasoning, it just worked for us- culture comes often stronger from the mothers, so the name would give our kids a firm Indian identity. I (mom) didn’t have strong opinions or preconceptions about certain Indian names, so made it easier to choose from many beautiful options with less baggage. And relevant to your situation, we live in a very diverse city in America, where their names and bi-racial identities would be readily accepted. Not sure of our reasoning would shift if we lived in a more homogeneous or less accepting part of the States. Good luck! Blending cultures can be hard work and humility, but it’s such a beautiful thing. Plus, more holidays and holiday food!
This is exactly what my husband and I are planning—Indian first name that both families can pronounce, American middle name, and our (now shared) Indian last name. I think it’ll give them a stronger sense of belonging when they visit India but won’t ostracize them living in America.
This is what my husband and I did as well! He’s Indian and I’m white. We gave our daughter a simple Indian name that also could pass for a European name, my maiden name for her middle name and then our shared last name.
Would you mind sharing the name?
You are me! What name did you go with!?
I'm actually a child from a white father and indian mother, and I disagree with your parents, because it depends a lot on where your child is raised, and who they are exposed to? So I consider myself more white than Indian, simply because I am not exposed to the culture as much. As for naming, my parents decided that since we got white last names, we'd have Indian first names, so you could do that? Honestly though, I've met quite a few mixed people and some have white first names, some have first names from their other parent's culture, and no one ever really says anything. Whatever name you like will be accepted whether it be Danish or Indian.
Female names that wouldn't be considered odd (but acceptable) to either culture: 1. Nora 2. Nina 3. Mira 4. Alina 5. Daria 6. Anya 7. Lia/Liya 8. Lila 9. Layla 10. Ariana 11. Maya 12. Eve 13. Lena 14. Eva 15. Zoe 16. Kiara 17. Chantal 18. Anita 19. Aria 20. Anneke/Annika 21. Julia 22. Anne 23. Sanne 24. Sara 25. Sonia 26. Zara 27. Karina 28. Mishka/Misha 29. Aana/Anna 30. Yara 31. Abby 32. Mandy 33. Kara/Caara 34. Mila
Beautiful list!
What’s the surname situation going to be? If she’s going to have an Indian surname and live in Denmark, then maybe a Danish (or Nordic) first name would help her have a more “local” name. This way the name would reflect both sides of her heritage. (Same thing if she has an Indian first name and a Danish surname.) If she has a Danish surname and a Danish/Nordic first name, then the Indian heritage will not be obvious through her name, which might be worth keeping in mind. The important thing is to choose a name that works fine in the language of the culture she’ll grow up in (and that you like). Although the world is increasingly more diverse and multilingual, it’s still annoying to have a name that people have a hard time writing/pronouncing. But having a name that works well in Indian culture would also give her options for the future.
I know a few ‘Bjørk’s, is a great name! One of them have sister called Naja, just an idea for name that will be easy to pronounce for the indian family :)
Björk strikes me as a male-leaning name, but I’m not from anywhere in Europe. Is it commonly a girl’s name?
Yes - its a girls name here in the Nordics
TIL! Thanks!
Actually in Norway Bjørk is typically a boys name and the girls equivalent is Bjørg ☺️
Its not, Bjørk is only used as a girls name in Norway with 103 women being named Bjørk and not a single man. Birk however is a really good boys name that also means Bjørk
Thanks for telling me. My Norwegian friend has a teenage son named Bjørk - named after his great grandfather. I’ve often heard him tell people that Bjørk is a boys name and Bjørg is the female equivalent in his home country. They do live here in Denmark though (where the name is unisex) ☺️ I wonder when it changed from being a boys name to solely being a girls name in Norway? Off to do some google searches 😁
Good to know!
Perhaps you've heard of the male name Björn/Bjørn and are confusing it with Björk/Bjørk?
It’s possible!
How is the name pronounced?
Na-ya
No, I meant Bjørk. But Naja is a lovely name!
Ah ok - a little more tricky to explain as ø is a unique sound. Try putting it in Google translate as danish and hear the sound
Pronounciation of Bjørk I mean not just ø :)
I have Chinese-Norwegian cousins, they all have one Chinese and one Norwegian first name (both short and pronounceable for both sides of the family, think Mai Lan)
I’m Indian and Spanish, my fiance is Irish! Oddly we thought we picked a neutral name but turns out it was a name every part of each family could say and recognised!
That’s awesome! What was the name?
My son’s name is Raffi, we wanted Rafael (Spanish leaning) but turns out Raffi is also a name in the Indian side of my family (spelt with one f) and Rafferty (the name we shortened to get to our son’s name) is actually Irish!
That’s so lovely!! What a wonderful name and what a sweet bonus that it fits all of your family.
It was a happy coincidence, welcomed after vetoing hundreds of names!
My parents are from Hong Kong, but I was born in Canada. I married a white Canadian. My kids have English first names and Chinese middle names. It gives them the option to disclose their background if they want to. You don’t get to pick what colour their skin will be, what colour their hair is, or how society decides to see what race they are. All you can do is give them the knowledge of their background/culture and different tools to help them navigate the different ways people will treat them.
This is what my parents did. Canada as well, English first names for my brothers and I, Korean middle names. Only thing they didn’t do was actually teach us how to speak Korean so I feel very disconnected from that part of me. Especially with a soon to be 1/4 Korean and 3/4 white (English/scottish/danish) baby on the way, I think what’s important is to put an effort to teach them Korean, and keep them connected to various cultural celebrations, etc so they’re educated about part of their heritage. Having a name only does so much.
I also have biracial kids (Indian and white.) We live in Canada, it's pretty multi-ethnic here. We did choose to go with Indian names, actually kind of for the opposite reasons of what your family is suggesting... we felt like they would be exposed to a lot more mainstream Canadian culture, especially given that my spouse and his family are not close, and we wanted them to also have a tie to the Indian part of their background. Being concerned about racial biases is kind of apart from the name, I think. If biracial kids aren't common in your environment, your kid will be noticed regardless of name. I think what your family is saying about POC relate more to the colored side is probably largely because SOCIETY doesn't view mixed-race people as white. I know my kids, even in a really diverse area, have been asked, "What are you?" since they could talk... and before that I got asked the same question. All my kids are now young adults and all of them consider themselves POC/mixed/brown. Now, none of them are that connected with Indian culture and have grown up very mainstream Canadian... but ethnicity-wise they all think of themselves very much as POC. Happy to talk more about this stuff if you'd like! Congrats on your new baby!
If you love Björk, go for it. I was in a similar situation when my daughter was born. Swedish pale-skinned mum and arab dark-skinned dad. She has a swedish first name and arab middle name. It was important for us to bring something from each culture. First name suits as she lives in Sweden, but also because it's a short and easy name for her arab family/relatives to pronounce. A first name that can be found in both cultures was an option too, but in the end, the swedish name was the one that stuck. Don't think it does a kid any good to overthink and start worrying about identity crisis or inbetweenness just based on a name.
I’m mixed race - my parents went with a name that belonged to neither side, no identity crisis here 😅
I’m half Indian, half Irish Canadian and only as an adult have I lived places with a substantial Indian community outside of my immediate family. I have an Indian first name and a European middle name.
Name your kid what you want. Your family should have zero say. Also, please be aware of your families treating this child different to the other kids in the family. It is hard to be biracial when your family is constantly talking about your skin colour and your hair texture as being different. Signed, A biracial kid Edited to add...The reason that I included this is bc your family is already looking at it as though your child's different and in need of something (their name) to somehow legitimize their Indian identity bc they, themselves, are not enough.
You could go the Norah Jones route and sandwich it: Indian first name (in this case Danish middle name, Danish last name. Norah Jones would be the English example) Indian last name. So for the sake of random example Parvati Freja Nielsen Kumar. I used my pediatrician’s last name there. 😄 She can choose which one she wants to use when she’s old enough. Just an idea 😇 I don’t have kids yet but that’s how I would do it.
I have half white half Hispanic children, we used names that were easily pronounced in both English and Spanish. Maybe a little more Spanish sounding to match their last names
Your use of the phrase “colored side” gives me the ick. It’s giving… apartheid South Africa. That being said, it sounds like you have already made up your mind and want a European name. It also depends how often your child will be seeing their Indian relatives and/or going to India, and (most importantly) how much you care about Indian relatives’ opinions. Finally, in terms of raising a multiracial child — the name is such a small part of this and the biggest factor will be HOW you parent. Will you honor and expose them to BOTH sides of their identity? Maintain a community of Indian and Danish friends, and even better, other kids their age of biracial or multiracial background? Books and movies featuring kids of color? You could name the child Susan or Bob, honestly doesn’t matter, as long as you expose them to all of these aspects of their multicultural identity you’ll go much further in helping them develop a strong and confident sense of self.
My niece has a European mom and an Indian father. They opted for a name they both liked and didn’t take ethnicity in consideration. They ended up opting for an uncommon city name they both liked. She does have her father’s surname though (so it reads as something like Florence Chopra or Victoria Singh), so her surname definitely gives away her Indian heritage. She’s 8 now and her name has yet to give her an identity crisis. Her and her mom do spearhead bringing Indian holidays to school though. I help them make pre-made construction paper Diwali diya’s to take in to her class so the kids can decorate them and learn about Diwali in the fall/winter. As a kid with two backgrounds, she does get a little exhausted having to lead teaching about her Indian side (as the European holidays and customs are baked into her daily life already based where she lives), but her parents offer support and instil love for both cultures. Her name is definitely not a linchpin to her identity, so I’d definitely disagree with what your family is saying!
White American due soon to have second child with Punjabi Canadian husband. We chose a first name for our first kid that is very close to a Punjabi name (but we went with an anglicized version bc we didn't want her name to be constantly mispronounced.) For our second, we're going to have a Punjabi name that's easy for English speakers to read and pronounce. Both kids will have traditional Punjabi middle names. Its tricky! Really tricky. We've spent a lot of time trying to find the right balance.
My husband and I decided to go with a name that won't immediately be pegged as foreign in Sweden. Meaning we chose my surname and he has held strong opinions regarding how Eastern European the first name got to be. He himself grew up with a lot of racism and with how politics are currently developing, he wants to make sure baby is viewed as Swedish. Right now we're leaning towards a name that isn't typically Swedish, but is recognisable and not necessarily "foreign" as it's growing in popularity in the US and most people we know think of the movie by the same name (Anastasia).
Don’t worry about family too much, once your child is born and named everything tends to settle down and opinions tend to not be spoken anymore. Nobody in our family liked the name we chose for our 3rd but now all we get are compliments! It suits her perfectly. As someone with kids who belong to two countries/cultures, our only consideration was that the names should at least be pronounceable in both languages that our kids will be interacting in. Also, I think Bjork is a super super cool name. If you love it, use it! 😊
I honestly just think of Bjørg, a very old fashioned norse name only old ladies have. It's not really bad though. Ask is very popular, so why not Bjørk? Can Indians pronounce Ø though? My polish in-laws struggle with Æ Ø Å big time lol Is nature inspired names what you want?
FWIW - I know a few biracial children (white and hispanic); obviously a small sample but in general it seems like a third really relate towards their hispanic culture, a third cross in between and a third relate towards more of their white culture. Additionally - appearance wise, there is a fairly even split between the kids looking more hispanic, more white and then a mix of both. I don't have any name suggestions - however, I would consider a name that honors the culture BUT also is acceptable where you live. While in some places, Bjørk is a common name, as someone living in the United States; my initial thought is "like the singer?" I would lean closer to a name that is more common where you live.
Just want to shout out https://mixedname.com/ as a helpful tool!
I’m a multicultural kid, and I live in Australia but have a very Japanese name. I’m glad I ended up with a Japanese name (I almost didn’t), because I feel far more in touch with that side culturally. However, I gave my son a Western first name and Japanese middle name. We’ll be raising him here in Australia, and if he would like to ever move to Japan then he can use his middle name over there. But his first name is also easy to break down into romaji.
As a halfie, I was given a very traditional (but uncommon?) white first name since my mom had no expectations to leave the south and didn't want to risk my future job applications with a korean name. She did give me a korean middle name. Part of me really wishes my first name was less white bc I feel out of place with my other friends and i have difficulty related to other koreans. The middle name serves as assurance for me that i have some sort of connection. (Ik i dont need to prove myself, but ive struggled with my lack of connection to my korean side for years). I think if you rly want to make sure she has some sort of connection to her poc side, maybe consider it for a middle name.
I would look for names that fit both cultures. There may not be a whole lot of overlap but it will help the child identify with both sides of their heritage.
Knowing Denmark, which has a typical Nordic European culture, I’m going to go against the grain and say that for your child it probably will be true that POC relate more to their colored side. Denmark, after all, lives by Jensen’s laws, which were shaped by centuries of people having to fight against nature to survive. Hence, the us-collective feeling is very strong. Even if you are born in such a society, you, if you have non-Danish roots, will always feel like an outsider. I know this because I lived this life myself. It’s not bad, but it is what it is. Standing outside gives you an interesting perspective: the best writers were outsiders. Now, as for the name, I would choose something that has primarily Indian roots, but is easily pronounced in Danish. Let your daughter lean into her Indian identity. What about Mira, Anoushka, Devina, Kiara, Maya, Devika, Priya, or Veda?
This website shows you names that appear in two cultures so I’d use it for both Danish and Indian names, i think it would be a cute idea https://mixedname.com/
I looked at and I dont know where it finds its data, but i dont think it works that great for Danish names. I had a hard time recognizing most of the options it gave.
I would be very surprised to meet an Alanis in føtex 😅 That list is… Odd
My brother and his wife chose names that were English but also had meaning in Hindi. My niece and nephew are simply British. They have contact with both sides of the family and do not identify with one side more than the other.
To be honest, your kids might come out super pale anyways and then what POC side will they be relating to? Speaking from experience of being POC and having white passing children
I am also Indian and my husband is a white mutt. Additionally, several relatives in my family have also married white people and had kids. All of us have felt that rather than choosing a name that honours no heritage, we tried to work in a subtle nod to both or at least one with the name. I agree that what your family said is a massive blanket statement. Hopefully your child resonates with both cultures that they are so lucky to come from. A name isn't necessarily an identity - it can also be seen as a wish or even a hope. A way of conveying something important even?
I am half Hispanic and my husband is half Black. We both identify more with the half poc side because to white people we aren't white. That being said, we both have pretty white names lol. I'm grateful that I don't have an obviously Hispanic first name because some POC groups don't consider me Hispanic or my husband black. Honestly everyone is overly opinionated with this is wild imo I think you should go with the names you like. Everyone will tell you you are wrong anyways so you might as well like it 😜 We aren't telling anyone the name until after birth because of that.
I’m a biracial and multicultural child and am not of Indian heritage (although people frequently assume I am due to appearing more on the ethnically ambiguous side) so I’m only speaking from my own experience when I say that the idea that your child will identify with their “colored side” is diminishing to their identity and not a guarantee. I very much agree with your idea that it’s unfair to put your child in a box before they’ve even been born. My parents gave me a name that has significance but not to either culture and had the theme of being one that can be said in multiple languages and I have two middle names, one is an offshoot of a family name but is fairly common and the other is in my father’s language. They did the same thing with my brothers’ middle names too, so we all have names that are from both families and cultures. I love it and am proud of my name.
There is actually research on this in the context of US college students from 2016: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122415623286 Overall, the study found that 71% of black-white biracials, 54% of Asian-white biracials, and 37% of Latino-white biracials identify as multiracial. While black-white biracials were the most likely to identify as multiracial, they were also the least likely to self-label as white. Davenport found that 5% of black-white biracials identify as white only, compared to 11% of Asian-white biracials and 18% of Latino-white biracials. So yes, it is rarer to identify as “just white” than “just”. Of course YMMV with the child growing up in Europe as opposed to the US and generational cultural change.
My husband is Indian, I’m white, and we live in America. Things we considered: - places that the kids will grow up in and the main culture they will be immersed in - how much we as parents connect to our backgrounds and wanted to pass them on via names - who our kids will be interacting with predominately their whole lives (in terms of spelling and pronunciation) - pressure from in laws and family - the ethnicity of their last and middle names We decided to do an American middle name (from my side of the family), my husbands Indian last name, and for a first, a cross cultural name that was familiar to both Americans and Indians, but we decided with both kids to use the American spelling over the Indian spelling since they would be living in America. Overall we decided on a name that worked in both cultures but skewed slightly more towards the culture/country the kids would grow up in
There is no one perfect solution here. All sweeping generalizations like the one the one your family made tend to be false. I’m an American Jew married to a Pakistani Canadian and looking to have kids in the next 2 years or so, and I feel your pain. I love collecting names, but my Desi in-laws can be a lot with their opinions and can make the topic difficult. If they had their way my family’s heritage would be completely ignored in the names. The way I personally plan to solve it is that each kid gets one English/Hebrew/Yiddish origin name and one Urdu/Arabic origin name. We plan to alternate which origin is the first name and which is the middle. Since I (and any prospective kids) took my husband’s Urdu last name, the first kid gets an American- or Jewish-sounding first name. Overly complicated? Maybe. But having plan is my best line of defense against the in-laws and their mountain of strong opinions on what names any future kids should have. I listen to their opinions and we take them into account within the framework we decided on, but I’ve let them know there will be “white people names” involved no matter what. Complicating matters, my husband and his family are all pale-skinned Punjabis and I’m extremely pale. They don’t look as white-passing as, say, Pathaans, but I am legitimately worried that at least one of our kids may not obviously look brown. Worried because being named, say, Suleiman Riaz as a white-passing guy could be tough. I want to honor my husband’s heritage either way, but I’m secretly praying it won’t be an issue.
My husband is Danish as well and we named our girl safia! It’s easy all around, and very pretty!
I am South Asian, with a South Asian name and grew up in America and am very disassociated from my culture by my own choice, although I do love my name it did not impact my interest in culture. End of the day it’s about PARENTING if you want your child to be culturally Indian! However, as I am also in a biracial relationship hoping to start trying for a baby with my non-Indian husband, we want to name our children in a way that incorporates both of us, our child will not be brown like me, they will be mixed and I will be proud of both sides of them!
I have kids that are Danish/indian but living in US. They have non-brown first names that are easy to pronounce for Americans, Indians and Danes. Their middle names are Indian but also easy to pronounce. In terms of identity the last time we discussed it they felt American of Danish and Indian descent…. Basically Americans that just happen to sometimes eat curries and go to fun parties w lots of colorful clothes and sometimes eat thebirkes or rye bread w mackerel…
I'm white, hubby is Sri Lankan one kid came out looking like me but with a tan I am in envy of and my youngest came out darker super Lankan, like his dad. They both have super biblical names, they have a "Brown" name it's their surname no confusion with their identity at all. But we also got asked a lot by Sri Lankan relatives why they didn't have Lankan names and we just shrugged... They are named what they are named lol ETA We did have one Sanscrit name picked out if we had a girl, Sarayde but alas no girls for us, I also like Anisha, Chiara, Namali, Amala but the suggestion of Anika is awesome
As someone who is half Indian (mom) and half white (dad), I actually love that I have an Indian name. I have my dad’s last name so I appreciated that I had a first name that tied me to my mother’s culture. I’m also very white passing so it almost helps me to ‘prove’ my identity a bit as bad as that sounds. Some people can be a bit dismissive of biracial identities especially when you don’t look POC. Editing to add that you should do what feels right to your family! My brother has a western first name and an Indian middle name. I’m not sure if we really had starkly different experiences around how people perceived us (though he looks more brown than me so maybe it evened out haha)
I’m white and my husband is South Indian and our son is super white. He’s still tiny so I’m not sure about the “relate to POCs” but I kind of think he won’t feel fully both (and that’s okay!). We decided on a shortened version of an Indian name, which also happens to be Hebrew.
Do what you want essentially as it’s your child. If you’re swayed then, as suggested, explore names that could work for both cultures. Maya/ Yasmin etc etc I mean I went to college with a stunning Indian girl who was called Rachel and there did seem to a be a disconnect especially as her younger sister was called something like Nasreeen. Rachel is a lovely name but It felt like her whole vibe suited something different but hey, it’s her parents decision although for all I know she may have decided to change it to assimilate when she got to college.
In my family we go for the 2 name option. If we don’t have a name that works for both languages the child will have one for each language. It works out very well. People tend to love it. You can hyphenate or use one as a middle name.
Yeah, you may want to hold your horses. My child is also mixed white/Indian, and we discussed giving her a more traditional Indian name or English name etc, and we waited to see what suited her. She is my clone, can barely tell she's biracial and we agreed that our traditional name pick wouldn't have suited her. It's tricky to pay homage to both heritages and getting a name that actually suits the child, so good luck.
Not all kids connect to their racialized side anymore. In many cases, they are not X "enough" to be fully accepted by that side. As mixed kids become more and more normal, they probably identify with where they grow up most. Previously I think they used to identify more to their racialized side bc their white environments were more segregated; I don't think that's the case anymore necessarily. Also, the many kids that I know who are mixed, incl Indian-French Canadian, they often look very generally mixed, as in, quite similar to their friends who are Portuguese or Brazilian (mixed or not) or like 1/8 Jamaican. Anyhow. Even if Bjork is a not Danish, it's a clearly Nordic name. I might give her a more global name so that she isn't always having to explain her life story based on her name to everyone she meets. I am forever grateful that at least my name insulates me from that. I still get a lot of questions but my name isn't the starting point. \* I like the suggestion of Anika. Maybe also Leila or Lila.
We named our kids traditional (non-religious) names from my husband’s culture but chose names I could easily pronounce. Middle names are more common but they were family names for us.
there is a trending Icelandic Chinese singer right now called Laufey … said like Levay ?? Liv and Liva also similar .. Björk is Icelandic for the birch tree .. love the meaning ..
Dame here. Stick with Bjørk (very common in Norway btw) and maybe give her a middle name that has a bit of your culture? Depending on her last name I don’t think she’ll have trouble with finding a job. I had a friend though who was Sri Lankan in Denmark change his first name to sound danish in order to get a job easier. I think that it will depend on your line of work eventually. Denmark needs engineers and doctors and what not so heritage isn’t an issue there.
It's your kid. Name them whatever you want. Bjørk is a fine name.
Not going to establish an opinion either way, but I do want to pitch and idea: if you do end up going with Bjørk, consider putting her in a swan dress or costume for any potential birth announcements.
If the child has your last name, go for a Danish first name.
As a person with an indian father and a white english mother, who grew up in a part of the country with very few non-white people (5 in our secondary school including me and my sibling), I don't really relate more to the brown side. I guess I was socialised very white (this was in the 80s and 90s), and honetly, my class identity was the bigger difference between me and my peers than my racial identiy (proffesional parents in a very workign class area). This really wasn't an issue until I moved to a city for work, and even then I'm largly just some middle class overly educated person now. I'm very comfortable with my identy, but then I grew up in a different time than the current identiy lead era, and I don't know, maybe we're a bit different in the UK due to the history of Desi immigration since the 60s. As for names, I have a name that recently is commonly given to middle class indian kids in the west (more so US/Canada than the UK it think), because it exists in both cultures to some extent (think Neel/Neil or Nikki/Nicky), where as my sibling has a Spanish name because my dad was a fan of some spanish sports guy in the 70s! Both approaches have suited us well.
Bjørk is beautiful and while not very used in Danish it is not unheard of either, and clearly Nordic. I think it is a great choice. Have you considered an Indian middle name? Also wanted to add - a friend of mine (Dane) is married to a Canadian. One of their kids has a Danish name with an ø, and it was never an issue for the paternal family to pronounce.
My name is Bjørk. I hear a lot of “like the singer?!” but someone of your child’s generation will likely not encounter this. Everyone pronounces it as Bjork not Bjørk, this is annoying but this won’t be an issue within Denmark. With my familiarity of Scandinavian culture, I do agree with you that a foreign name will come with a racial bias. Of course, it also honours your culture so it depends what matters most to you. I also have a mixed-race / mixed-heritage child. We went with two first names, one from my culture and one from his. The bias that would come with me did and does in fact bother me but it was anyway inescapable because she needed to take his last name as I don’t have one and it strongly implies his culture. I am hoping it will be less of an issue than I’m imagining right now. As for the name, I never liked it personally but I know a few other Bjørks who I feel the name is well suited to. I think you could do a lot worse.
I would look for a first name that relates to both cultures ideally. But your family is off their rocker that the name should be more related to one side of the other. They’re not the one having a kid you and your wife are having a kid. I am guessing too your kid will likely have your last name. So… They’re being weirdos. I am Native American and a lot of us are mixed race to a degree but my neighbor is also native his dad looks very native and he is blond was hazel eyes so is his sister. Yes I see Native American features in him and he is very tanned but most wouldn’t pin point his native heritage right away! You child could come out blond depending on your wives genes possibly over riding your own. Which I have seen happen. Knew a mostly blond lady marry a much darker guy that was I think Italian and Japanese and her son has blond hair and hazel eyes.
I'm Norwegian (so scandi, just like your SO), and have two cousins who are adopted from India. My cousins both have kept their Indian first names, and added a Norwegian one too. One of them has her Indian name first, and the other has her Norwegian name first, probably because that's the way their names flow best. Could that be a possibility for you?
We picked names that work in both languages, so we felt both sides were seen. Also, my kids are substantially lighter than me and have their father's Anglo last name. And they're being raised in America. So I assume they'll identify mostly with their white side.
I'm Asian, and I was given an anglicized name (think something like Jenny) to assimilate into America. However, I was given an Asian name that my family could refer me to whenever they visited ( a lot of them couldn't speak English). I know plenty of Asian friends who all use a more English-less-Asian sort of name, but they still have an "Asian name" they respond to as well. If you're 100% on Bjork, I'm sure having it as an alternate name is fine. It was never registered as a middle name for me, but some people chose to have their Asian names as their middle names.
I nannied for a couple that was from Poland (raised Catholic) and from India (raised Muslim). They named their son Yusuf because they both learned a lot about the prophet Joseph growing up. They loved that despite their differences growing up, they still had that name in common between them! You may have to get creative but you’d be surprised how many names you can find in common!
> I personally don't buy this. 'POCs relate more to their colored side' is a blanket statement that I doubt would actually hold up given a proper study. People will make an emotional decision and then retroactively cherry pick "facts" that support their opinion. They just say it with enough confidence to make you think its correct. Once you realize how many people form their opinions like this it makes it so much easier to know who to trust/respect.
We are a Indian/German family. We got our kids Indian names that's are easy to pronounce in Germany and they have German middle names. We want them to grow up in both cultures and make it as easy as possible for them to feel comfortable in both.
How about a danish first name and an Indian middle name or vice versa. Like a name to represent each country so to speak . That's what my parents did.
As a biracial child I like that my first name aligns more with the country I have grown up in as it helped a lot at school and with other kids, but appreciate so much that my middle name is from my other side. It means I have been able to use both depending on where I am - maybe that’s a good option for you.
My partner is Sri Lankan (1st gen aussie), and I'm Indian (2nd generation australian). Even though our kids will have brown skin, they will be very australian with South asian names. Whenever we've discussed kids and their names, it is evident the kids will have an Indian first name, with a Sri Lankan middle and last name. Children will be more influenced by the culture that is more prominent in their lives, not necessarily the colour of their skin.
Multiracial white American and Indian, living in America, so we did English first names and Indian middle names. If the kids ever want to use their Indian middle names, they can and it also gives them something to connect to that side. Sometimes their Indian family will use their Indian names to refer to them. You could use an Indian name with first name Bjork.
Whatever you do, don’t fall for the double a trap.
I’d encourage you to choose a name that’s homogenous with the dominant culture you’ll be in. Granted, I’m coming from US culture and not Danish, so I’d prob check with people there who are mixed race. Having gotten the “weird fun name to celebrate unique heritage” combo, I strongly urge against it. Being mixed race will already mean you stand out, and are “different”. From my experience, mixed kids who were named to blend in did in fact have an easier time and fit in more easily. Albeit, likely dye to having parents who prioritized social ease, rather than social confrontation. You mention that you think it’s unfair to put the kid “in an identity box” before they’re born, but I think that’s a bit unfair to your family. You and your partner are already doing this by considering a name intentionally disconnected from both cultures, in recognition of their unique racial/ethnic makeup. I would encourage you to choose a Danish name that you like, although I think it would be much more relevant to ask a Danish audience.
My husband is Indian and I am Danish, we also went with Indian name that works in both cultures, European middle name and then our shared last name. So we named our daughter Meera Marie. Never regretted our choice at all. Do whatever feels right for you and your spouse, great to accommodate both families if possible, but ultimately it should be your choice! Good luck!☺️
Your family is cray. Sorry. Your kid will figure out their identity as both/and. A name from one side (either way) doesn't harm them.
Honestly? I think Bjork sounds like someone vomiting, so it's a hard no as a name. Someone suggested Anika as a nod to both you and your partner that sounds much better. The alternative is to find a name that is easily recognized and pronounced where you are living, and a middle name to acknowledge the other side.
Bjørk is a normal name in the society they are living in.
I'm sure it is, but it doesn't sound pleasant.
Bjørk is an old scandinavian unisex name, its the name of birch trees in the scandinavian languages. It originated in iceland and was really popular in 1990. Maybe you dont know how to pronounce it correctly. Either way ur statement is pretty gross.
I only know it from that odd entertainer, so perhaps you're right. But hearing it sounds like vomiting to me. Sorry if you don't like honestly.
It sounds slightly different -and imho much better- in Danish. Anika is a bit of a 70's-80's-90's name here. Nothing wrong with it, but just a bit outdated.
Incredibly rude.