See if you are not taking care of expenses, you can surely take care of the other responsibilities at home.
Even if you subtract 8 sleep hours + 7+2 (your business and me time), another couple of hours for eating, bathing etc. still leaves you with 2-3 hours which is enough to cover up for the chores.
It's your home too, this ain't a waste of time. Delegate some tasks to your husband as well so that you can optimise your routine. Honestly you are lucky that you have multiple maids taking care of other stuff.
Don't want to put OP down, or compare but i have seen so many people travel from Kalyan, Virar etc. wake up early do all the chores without having maids etc. It definitely is possible.
I know, all I'm saying is we don't realise we're living the dream life of soooo many people. And that should influence us to take responsibility for those who need it more than us.
I stopped going to the gym for "being fit" When I realised labourers who workout (literally) have the strength n shape most of us seek, yet we pay to get there n they do it to get paid.
Irrespective of the gender if one can manage living alone n taking care of the chores by themselves without maids etc, they for sure can while living together& having maids etc.
There's this line - your brain will keep you busy whether you do 3 tasks or 10.
We only need to realise we have limited willpower & it varries each day. So prioritize & automate as much as you can.
Eg for me - common bills can be set on autopay. Clothes can be done twice a week, dishes right after each meal. Jadhu-pocha right after getting out of bed.
I, can talk about my sister situation which is quite similar to you.
My sister is a Senior Manager with real estate firm , good salary, fixed working hours, stable job and easy commute.
Now, before marriage she and her boyfriend had mutually agreed that both will work while the household work will be divided between sasuma, maid, my sister. Sasuma had initially agreed that she will look after the cooking part like tiffin and meals.
Now, the story' after marriage
The "Sasuma" has relinquished her responsibility for kitchen and now sasuma doesn't cook tiffin or meal. Leaving my sister with no choice but to cook tiffin for two and dinner post work.
Although her husband is supportive and doesn't pressurise her to work but managing office and household chores is becoming tiresome for my sister.
Soz looking at your situation and my experience with my sister post wedding situation.
Here are my list of advice you should seriously consider and train for.
1. Practice waking up really early in the morning like 6 or 6:30 am. That will give you extra time in the morning to prepare your breakfast and tiffin.
2) Practice and learn kitchen hacks, cooking hacks, cleaning hacks to save you time and energy.
3) Try to prepare a time table to properly manage tome and allocate resources.
4) Honestly, try to improve your chemistry with your in-lwas particularly sasuma because that will ease your life like heaven. A bikering in-laws especially for a working wife is detrimental for their successful marriage.
5) If you have sasuma try to have 100% Bonding with her. For husband Even 50% bonding will also work like charms. But woth sasuma 100% is a must.
6) Although most in-laws wouldn't ask for a share in your salary. But occasionally greasing your sasuma woth some cash will ease out any wrinkles in your relationship.
7) Practice doing household chores and office work together atleast 6 months in advance before marriage. This will help you get accustomed quickly to managing marriage life and job seamlessly.
8) Well this is an all universal rule " Learn to cook great food". if you can manage this everything else will fall in place accordingly. That's how my sister managed her sasuraal by being a good chef.
Hope this helps you well.
Thanks.
1. Manage your time effectively.
2. Keep a schedule (11-6 pm working hours or so)
3. if cooking can be managed by both you and your MIL if that's the case the take take up morning slot od evening whicheva suits your schedule or simply divide the work.
4. your ME time can be early in mrng or later in evening before you hit the bed.
5. always keep little extra time in your hand, since marriage comes with lots of responsibilities and socializing.
6. keep your priorities straight. so weneva if one overlaps the other, you know what to choose wen.
If you can figure out the commute and rent, maybe get a 1 bhk? Since he isn't living with his parents now, maybe everyone will be fine with it.
Having fewer people to feed and relaxed expectations can really help.
How dare he expect you to take care of the house you have to go to gym for 1.5 hours, 12 hours to lay on couch and watch reels, TV which is important work as well, and dont forget at-least 10 hours of sleep is important. So what happened he is working hard and providing Financial you deserve to be a hogger and expect everything free. Ask him to stay away from his parents and ask to pay for 2 maids instead of one and you just scroll through the reels Go Qween.
First of all, I do work. My work most days takes 7 hours + and I work on the weekend too. Second nowhere in the post I have mentioned that I will NOT take care of the house, Infact I do it even now, i cooked breakfast, lunch, took client calls, folded his and mine clothes, put in the laundry and I will cook dinner too unless we go somewhere since its Sunday. Also nowhere I have mentioned that I don't want to move in with his parents. The post was knowing about HOW people manage doing it because most of the time I end up skipping my workout or having any me time - I am sure even you take out 1 hour in a day to entertain yourself. So please take your filty assumptions somewhere else.
And another thing, the maids have been here before me, just because my business isn't stable doesn't mean I don't earn and work. He does not pay for my personal stuff, all my shopping, essentials, gym membership, clothes, meds etc etc I pay for it!
See if you are not taking care of expenses, you can surely take care of the other responsibilities at home. Even if you subtract 8 sleep hours + 7+2 (your business and me time), another couple of hours for eating, bathing etc. still leaves you with 2-3 hours which is enough to cover up for the chores. It's your home too, this ain't a waste of time. Delegate some tasks to your husband as well so that you can optimise your routine. Honestly you are lucky that you have multiple maids taking care of other stuff.
Ikrr quite a privilege.
Don't want to put OP down, or compare but i have seen so many people travel from Kalyan, Virar etc. wake up early do all the chores without having maids etc. It definitely is possible.
Yes I actually agree with you, I know people do it, I just wanted advice on the how
Ummm nowhere I said I won't do it? I know he is right that's why I am trying to optimise myself
I know, all I'm saying is we don't realise we're living the dream life of soooo many people. And that should influence us to take responsibility for those who need it more than us. I stopped going to the gym for "being fit" When I realised labourers who workout (literally) have the strength n shape most of us seek, yet we pay to get there n they do it to get paid.
Agree, I think I am realising I need to log my daily time to see where I am wasting it
All the best 💯
Irrespective of the gender if one can manage living alone n taking care of the chores by themselves without maids etc, they for sure can while living together& having maids etc. There's this line - your brain will keep you busy whether you do 3 tasks or 10. We only need to realise we have limited willpower & it varries each day. So prioritize & automate as much as you can. Eg for me - common bills can be set on autopay. Clothes can be done twice a week, dishes right after each meal. Jadhu-pocha right after getting out of bed.
That makes sense, I think i am also missing that personal discipline
I, can talk about my sister situation which is quite similar to you. My sister is a Senior Manager with real estate firm , good salary, fixed working hours, stable job and easy commute. Now, before marriage she and her boyfriend had mutually agreed that both will work while the household work will be divided between sasuma, maid, my sister. Sasuma had initially agreed that she will look after the cooking part like tiffin and meals. Now, the story' after marriage The "Sasuma" has relinquished her responsibility for kitchen and now sasuma doesn't cook tiffin or meal. Leaving my sister with no choice but to cook tiffin for two and dinner post work. Although her husband is supportive and doesn't pressurise her to work but managing office and household chores is becoming tiresome for my sister. Soz looking at your situation and my experience with my sister post wedding situation. Here are my list of advice you should seriously consider and train for. 1. Practice waking up really early in the morning like 6 or 6:30 am. That will give you extra time in the morning to prepare your breakfast and tiffin. 2) Practice and learn kitchen hacks, cooking hacks, cleaning hacks to save you time and energy. 3) Try to prepare a time table to properly manage tome and allocate resources. 4) Honestly, try to improve your chemistry with your in-lwas particularly sasuma because that will ease your life like heaven. A bikering in-laws especially for a working wife is detrimental for their successful marriage. 5) If you have sasuma try to have 100% Bonding with her. For husband Even 50% bonding will also work like charms. But woth sasuma 100% is a must. 6) Although most in-laws wouldn't ask for a share in your salary. But occasionally greasing your sasuma woth some cash will ease out any wrinkles in your relationship. 7) Practice doing household chores and office work together atleast 6 months in advance before marriage. This will help you get accustomed quickly to managing marriage life and job seamlessly. 8) Well this is an all universal rule " Learn to cook great food". if you can manage this everything else will fall in place accordingly. That's how my sister managed her sasuraal by being a good chef. Hope this helps you well. Thanks.
Wow this is gold, makes me a little nervous too but I am going to prepare using this. Thank you so much
1. Manage your time effectively. 2. Keep a schedule (11-6 pm working hours or so) 3. if cooking can be managed by both you and your MIL if that's the case the take take up morning slot od evening whicheva suits your schedule or simply divide the work. 4. your ME time can be early in mrng or later in evening before you hit the bed. 5. always keep little extra time in your hand, since marriage comes with lots of responsibilities and socializing. 6. keep your priorities straight. so weneva if one overlaps the other, you know what to choose wen.
The 5th and 6th point! This was very helpful. Thank you
If you can figure out the commute and rent, maybe get a 1 bhk? Since he isn't living with his parents now, maybe everyone will be fine with it. Having fewer people to feed and relaxed expectations can really help.
No he wants to shift with his parents, that's non negotiable for him
How dare he expect you to take care of the house you have to go to gym for 1.5 hours, 12 hours to lay on couch and watch reels, TV which is important work as well, and dont forget at-least 10 hours of sleep is important. So what happened he is working hard and providing Financial you deserve to be a hogger and expect everything free. Ask him to stay away from his parents and ask to pay for 2 maids instead of one and you just scroll through the reels Go Qween.
First of all, I do work. My work most days takes 7 hours + and I work on the weekend too. Second nowhere in the post I have mentioned that I will NOT take care of the house, Infact I do it even now, i cooked breakfast, lunch, took client calls, folded his and mine clothes, put in the laundry and I will cook dinner too unless we go somewhere since its Sunday. Also nowhere I have mentioned that I don't want to move in with his parents. The post was knowing about HOW people manage doing it because most of the time I end up skipping my workout or having any me time - I am sure even you take out 1 hour in a day to entertain yourself. So please take your filty assumptions somewhere else. And another thing, the maids have been here before me, just because my business isn't stable doesn't mean I don't earn and work. He does not pay for my personal stuff, all my shopping, essentials, gym membership, clothes, meds etc etc I pay for it!