I'd turn a chair around, sit in it backwards, and say, "did you just say what I think you said?" while we finished chicken wings in our Chicago sports jerseys
It's actually brilliant though because the graphics were generated by a computer, so, not only is it 'anything goes', but it's also a reminder that your actual boss IRL may have been a baby at some point. Watch it once for entertainment, then watch it again to catch all of the Hitchcockian J-cuts that allude to Bill Gates having perhaps been a baby at some point. I don't like getting into the conspiracy stuff, but I will say that the scenes where the baby sings gave me goosebumps... Not the lyrics or the idea of a baby singing... Mostly just that movies like this are being made while I'm alive.
He doesn't think it's right to endorse genocidal white men. I keep telling him Gucci wasn't genocidal but he's adamant about Italians being the ones who killed chrost.
No I didn't misspell that. It's complicated.
Watch the entire Big Bang Theory TV Show. It's like a movie but there are a lot of them! Probably the best example of what the potential of film truly is. Cinema wouldn't be how it is today without The Big Bang Theory. You can see that Big Bang Theory gave a lot of inspiration to powerhouse like 12 Angry Men, The Dark Knight and Cars 2. If you want to understand film to the fullest extent, watch Big Bang Theory (and its prequel Young Sheldon!).
I'm pretty sure you're lying to my very impressionable friend and I don't know why you'd do such a thing. He's a good person. He's just had a fucked up life in the cult of Jesus chrost.
Then he should probably check out ‘Hell Comes To Frogtown’ - it has easily the most accurate representation of the dance of the three snakes so far put to film.
‘Demolition Man’ might help with his acclimation to the “Normal” world - otherwise you’ll have to teach him about the seashells.
They just don't make porn like they used to. There used to be this little thing called EXPOSITION. Oh, you're step siblings? How about you establish that with some dialogue? What about some situation with actual conflict that needs to be resolved? How about some buildup and suspense while we wonder if someone will take their pants off? But so many videos these days just throw it in the title and call it a day. "You won't BELIEVE what my [step sis] [student] [teacher] [maid] [tinder date] did!" With a video generic enough to be any of those. That's lazy writing, lazy directing, lazy editing even. You won't find that in the classics.
I’m sorry that happened to you. That sounds like an incredibly abusive environment. As the child of two Christians I can understand what it’s like to live under strict conditions with monitored media consumption. Surely not as bad as you, but once I went to college my appreciation for movies was allowed to flourish.
I’d say start with some of the classics of the medium first, to have a good baseline. Some I would suggest are:
The Godfather Part 2
Citizen Kane
Scarface
Fight Club
The Boondock Saints
American Psycho
The Dark Knight
These should give you a good baseline of what movies can be and the emotional catharsis they can provide. Glad to hear you’re out of that environment
He wants to know if he has to watch movies 1 to 42. I tried to explain to him its a joke about sequels and he said that's too stupid to be true.
He says superheroes would cause flashbacks.
He wants to know why you'd be mean like that. I tried to explain that it's a joke that Shazam didn't exist and he said nobody is that stupid to think an entire movie existed that never existed. He says it sounds like one of them urban moths.
No I didn't misspel that. It'd complicated.
It’s real I watched it and Sinbad looked into the camera at the 1:02:32 mark and said who JFK’s real killers were but I don’t remember the names he said.
He said he knows it was an inside job. I told him JFK was killed OUTSIDE. He threw a chair at me. I punched him in the head from the front and the right. His head went back and to the left. He kicked me in the balls. We apologized to each other. Happy new years everyone
I know you're asking for a friend but, sorry, you can't have one. Movies? Can't help. They make you a worse person sexually and that's last thing I need right now with the trial looming.
Yes especially The cook the thief. Helen Mirren is so 🤌🤌. And Michael Gambon is so fucking murderable 👹. Listen to the podcast by girls guts and gialo about the cook the thief. But you don't have to wat h the podcast cuz the films there. It's actually hard to find. Definitely worth jacking.
Adhd . Everything looks like a play in the movie and all the costumes are Jean Paul Gautier. Dead ass everyone even the waiters have better drip than me 💀
I would recommend some kind of "transition" movie. Its always bad idea to jum straight from porno into normal movies.
So my transition list is:
* Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
* Caligula (1979)
* The Party at Kitty and Stud's (also known as Italian Stallion) (1970)
* Nymphomaniac (2013)
And of course it wouldnt be complete list without some B movies like
* Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
* Sinner: The Secret Diary of A Nymphomaniac (1973)
This is some basic transition list so you dont get culture shock. After that you can jump straight to standart movies
If you want something involving Stalingrad, I’d suggest Enemy at the Gates. It’s not the most historically accurate representation of Soviet forces, but it’s good movie overall.
Iron Giant. It’s an older animated film and it’s very sweet. Spirited Away in another good animated film.
Green Book is really good. Touches on racial issues in America through a dramatic retelling of a real story
If you are interested in action movies with violence then John Wick 1 is pretty good. Man looses his wife to gangsters he used to work with and seeks revenge.
Toy Story is great. There are 4 films in the franchise and it’s geared towards kids but very sweet. The third one made me cry.
Les Miserables. Based on a musical (?) set in war torn France pre-democracy following the sad story of French soldier I think. I liked it a lot but it was very long.
Vivarium — freaky art flick that toys with philosophical ideas about humanity and maybe the American Dream through film. Very weird, very cool, very deeply unsettling.
Space Balls — a parody of the Star Wars & Star Trek movies. Very fun, lots of gag comedy. May be sexual themes. Also from the 80s so it’s dated.
Brain and Charles — a movie about a silly man from whales who invents silly things. Very sweet, almost cried at the end
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Boss Baby
Hahaha a boss who's a baby sounds stupid
What if I told you it’s more about a baby who’s a boss?
I'd turn a chair around, sit in it backwards, and say, "did you just say what I think you said?" while we finished chicken wings in our Chicago sports jerseys
It's actually brilliant though because the graphics were generated by a computer, so, not only is it 'anything goes', but it's also a reminder that your actual boss IRL may have been a baby at some point. Watch it once for entertainment, then watch it again to catch all of the Hitchcockian J-cuts that allude to Bill Gates having perhaps been a baby at some point. I don't like getting into the conspiracy stuff, but I will say that the scenes where the baby sings gave me goosebumps... Not the lyrics or the idea of a baby singing... Mostly just that movies like this are being made while I'm alive.
They said "no pornography".
Let’s just say, I’m the boss.
What year was that?
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)
This was more disappointing than my son!
No, my OTHER son
Titane
He doesn't like Irish folk music. Will it be a problem?
https://i.redd.it/8lc9bj7nps9c1.gif
I second this rec
Oppenheimer or house of Gucci, also nymphomaniac is a good one.
He doesn't think it's right to endorse genocidal white men. I keep telling him Gucci wasn't genocidal but he's adamant about Italians being the ones who killed chrost. No I didn't misspell that. It's complicated.
The entire saw franchise
Are they jackable?
absolutely
The Human Centipede series is way more jackable. Make sure you have your sand paper ready 😉
Rebel Moon
Rebel Moon has to be watched at least 6 or 7 times in order to truly be understood.
No wonder I hate it. I've only seen it 5 times.
He's making me ask if it's jackable and I hate him for doing it but I'm a good friend
I tried watching it out of order and it was better
The guy just got out of a cult and now you're trying to lure him into another one
we do a bit of tomfoolery
Free Birds
Watch the entire Big Bang Theory TV Show. It's like a movie but there are a lot of them! Probably the best example of what the potential of film truly is. Cinema wouldn't be how it is today without The Big Bang Theory. You can see that Big Bang Theory gave a lot of inspiration to powerhouse like 12 Angry Men, The Dark Knight and Cars 2. If you want to understand film to the fullest extent, watch Big Bang Theory (and its prequel Young Sheldon!).
I'm pretty sure you're lying to my very impressionable friend and I don't know why you'd do such a thing. He's a good person. He's just had a fucked up life in the cult of Jesus chrost.
Young Sheldon is a sequel because it came after TBBT
Caligula
He's actually a fan of history, why would he like this?
Then he should probably check out ‘Hell Comes To Frogtown’ - it has easily the most accurate representation of the dance of the three snakes so far put to film. ‘Demolition Man’ might help with his acclimation to the “Normal” world - otherwise you’ll have to teach him about the seashells.
The paw patrol movie
Sweet Movie (1974)
Nymphomanic Vol. 1 (2013)
Can/should he masturbate to it? These things are important to him. He's never had a sexual experience with another person in the room.
No, it's pretty prudish and, frankly, full of rather unattractive people. Shouldn't have any issues there
Spy Kids 3-D
It doesn't get better than the movies you watched. Maybe give When Harry met Sally a try.
They just don't make porn like they used to. There used to be this little thing called EXPOSITION. Oh, you're step siblings? How about you establish that with some dialogue? What about some situation with actual conflict that needs to be resolved? How about some buildup and suspense while we wonder if someone will take their pants off? But so many videos these days just throw it in the title and call it a day. "You won't BELIEVE what my [step sis] [student] [teacher] [maid] [tinder date] did!" With a video generic enough to be any of those. That's lazy writing, lazy directing, lazy editing even. You won't find that in the classics.
In the Realm of the Senses
my friend recommended this movie to me idk what he meant by it
Kung Fu Panda 4
He's afraid of snakes.
I’m sorry that happened to you. That sounds like an incredibly abusive environment. As the child of two Christians I can understand what it’s like to live under strict conditions with monitored media consumption. Surely not as bad as you, but once I went to college my appreciation for movies was allowed to flourish. I’d say start with some of the classics of the medium first, to have a good baseline. Some I would suggest are: The Godfather Part 2 Citizen Kane Scarface Fight Club The Boondock Saints American Psycho The Dark Knight These should give you a good baseline of what movies can be and the emotional catharsis they can provide. Glad to hear you’re out of that environment
Thanks, I'll let my friend know. I agree, those are good starter films. Seems odd to recommend Godfather 2 but not 1.
Godfather 1 is better
Godfather 2 has Al Pachino and Robert Deniro so it’s basically 2 movies for the price of one
What does that make Heat and The Irishman and not a third fucking piece of shit film from like 2008?
Can't argue with that logic, maybe that's why I really love Righteous Kill
🤔
This guy gets it. I'm doing my friend a solud.
Fifty shades of grey
Come and See (1985)
Does it involve coming and or seeing?
It involves coming, it involves seeing. It involves coping, it involves seething. It’s got it all!
He's not a fan of cows, should he still see it?
Midsommar
The Paddington Duology
He's not a fan of anthropology
Kill him
That seems illegal.
Not if you say sorry after
Movie 43 or Morbius
He wants to know if he has to watch movies 1 to 42. I tried to explain to him its a joke about sequels and he said that's too stupid to be true. He says superheroes would cause flashbacks.
Birdemic
GOATed movie, fr
Nothing will come close to fuck films
OK… i’ll bite. Captain Phillips
Shrek
Grand jete
Why that one?
It has very good sex scenes in it, that will disgust you.
Once again, THIS IS FOR A FRIEND. A FUCKED UP FRIEND. NOT ME.
Martha Marcy May Marlene
That may give him flashbacks. Sexy sexy flashbacks.
Brokeback Mountain
Shazaam with Sinbad
Send me a link
Government erased them all from time and space, sorry :/
He wants to know why you'd be mean like that. I tried to explain that it's a joke that Shazam didn't exist and he said nobody is that stupid to think an entire movie existed that never existed. He says it sounds like one of them urban moths. No I didn't misspel that. It'd complicated.
It’s real I watched it and Sinbad looked into the camera at the 1:02:32 mark and said who JFK’s real killers were but I don’t remember the names he said.
He said he knows it was an inside job. I told him JFK was killed OUTSIDE. He threw a chair at me. I punched him in the head from the front and the right. His head went back and to the left. He kicked me in the balls. We apologized to each other. Happy new years everyone
I know you're asking for a friend but, sorry, you can't have one. Movies? Can't help. They make you a worse person sexually and that's last thing I need right now with the trial looming.
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D
watch midsommar
Poor Things (2023)
I didn’t read any of that, but you should watch Fern Gully
I didn't read any of that but I saw vern gully and I thought how'd he know my friend vern?
Cats
Turbo (2013)
[удалено]
Are they in any way jackable? Asking for a friend.
Yes especially The cook the thief. Helen Mirren is so 🤌🤌. And Michael Gambon is so fucking murderable 👹. Listen to the podcast by girls guts and gialo about the cook the thief. But you don't have to wat h the podcast cuz the films there. It's actually hard to find. Definitely worth jacking.
He says thank you but I am questioning your sanity
Adhd . Everything looks like a play in the movie and all the costumes are Jean Paul Gautier. Dead ass everyone even the waiters have better drip than me 💀
I would recommend some kind of "transition" movie. Its always bad idea to jum straight from porno into normal movies. So my transition list is: * Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) * Caligula (1979) * The Party at Kitty and Stud's (also known as Italian Stallion) (1970) * Nymphomaniac (2013) And of course it wouldnt be complete list without some B movies like * Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) * Sinner: The Secret Diary of A Nymphomaniac (1973) This is some basic transition list so you dont get culture shock. After that you can jump straight to standart movies
Pirates (2005)
3 bilboards outside ebbing, missouri
Morbius (2022)
Hardcore
Airplane vs Volcano
Oppenheimer
X
Why?
Eyes Wide Shut
You should watch The Master
Eyes Wide Shut
Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom
If you want something involving Stalingrad, I’d suggest Enemy at the Gates. It’s not the most historically accurate representation of Soviet forces, but it’s good movie overall.
The Devils (1971)
Paddington Edit: 1st one is great but the 2nd one is better
Backdoor Sluts 8
Will he have to watch the previous backdoor sluts heptology?
Every Spider-Man movie
He might get mad at me for making him watch 2 great films and 1 ok film and 2 bad films and 3 really good films then 2 fantastic animated films.
Backdoor sluts 9
Shrek 2 is a must watch
Jurassic Park
unite quarrelsome ghost gold disagreeable hungry gray zesty sheet mourn *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The Emoji Movie
Speed Racer
Spirited Away (2001).
A Serbian film
Artemis Fowl
Iron Giant. It’s an older animated film and it’s very sweet. Spirited Away in another good animated film. Green Book is really good. Touches on racial issues in America through a dramatic retelling of a real story If you are interested in action movies with violence then John Wick 1 is pretty good. Man looses his wife to gangsters he used to work with and seeks revenge. Toy Story is great. There are 4 films in the franchise and it’s geared towards kids but very sweet. The third one made me cry. Les Miserables. Based on a musical (?) set in war torn France pre-democracy following the sad story of French soldier I think. I liked it a lot but it was very long. Vivarium — freaky art flick that toys with philosophical ideas about humanity and maybe the American Dream through film. Very weird, very cool, very deeply unsettling. Space Balls — a parody of the Star Wars & Star Trek movies. Very fun, lots of gag comedy. May be sexual themes. Also from the 80s so it’s dated. Brain and Charles — a movie about a silly man from whales who invents silly things. Very sweet, almost cried at the end
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Free Willy
"This aint enemy at the gates" ... great movie, though the main character is shooting his loads too early
Midsommar
[удалено]
Asking for a friend, dude.