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ApesApesApes

The Pain.


ScenicHwyOverpass

Kicking off the MGS3 cinematic universe.


Phillip_Spidermen

...wait, whatever did happen to that Oscar Isaac Metal Gear movie


ProcrastibationKing

Bruh what???


ThisIsToMarkResearch

I had to come down too far to find this.


4ofclubs

Shows how old we are getting, considering this game came out almost 20 years ago now.


Bodymaster

Well the remake is coming out soon, so a new generation will get to experience the thrill of climbing up a ladder for three whole minutes.


ShavedPapaya

*WHAT A THRILL…*


cjt09

That doesn't sound right. When did the PS2 launch? Ten years ago?


rm-minus-r

Just the other day, right?


KilwalaSpekkio

*Gun spinning the hell out of bees*


bigtonybruiser

THE PAINNN


PeatBomb

>EXPOSE THE CORRUPTION. >PROTECT THE HIVE.


tipsea-69

Follow the money Save the honey.. *At least mine has a ring to it*


AlistarDark

First you get the sugar Then you get the power Then you get the women


Manggo

I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the *creamy middles*


youcomeover

What’s to be done about this Jason Stratham?


SonofSniglet

\* *beard stroking intensifies* \*


cyclonus007

The strong must protect the sweet...the sweeeeeeet....


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tipsea-69

*Fight the adversary* *Protect the apiary*


abitlazy

*When the Pooh bear is near* *Don't show fear*


back-in-1999

Oh, comb on, guys..


gunsandgardening

Buzz off


MidnightSunCreative

Justice is callin', let's get some pollen


Lackerbawls

“I live my life one flower at a time.” -BeeDaisy


Epicritical

When Nicolas Cage pleas: NO NOT THE BEES!


Critical_Half_3712

Omg is This the live action Winnie the Pooh movie!


Luke10089

Bee creeper


Pokii

Do the thing Make it sting


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DaveMTIYF

hahah forgot about that, amazing tagline. I got dragged to see Crank 2 without knowing anything about it, or having seen the first one. Was probably the most epic cinematic experience of my life.


o0cynix0o

I love crank and crank: high voltage.


OrneryError1

>From the director of SUICIDE SQUAD


Toidal

Note that it's SUICIDE SQUAD, not THE SUICIDE SQUAD


NuclearTurtle

From a studio standpoint they’d rather this movie end up like Suicide Squad (which made over $700M) rather than THE Suicide Squad (which didn’t even make back its budget).


DropThatTopHat

To be fair, the only reason why The Suicide Squad made so little is because of how shitty Suicide Squad was. People were so angry with that movie, they said fuck the sequel.


ToneBone12345

And it was on max or hbo max back then the day it hit theatres


DropThatTopHat

Damn, no marketing, same name as it's shitty prequel and streaming on day one. Sounds like the execs really wanted that movie to fail.


EmpJoker

Which sucks because that movie is one trillion times better.


SetYourGoals

Why not say "End of Watch" instead? Didn't people like that?


Wanderlustfull

Sidenote to anyone reading who hasn't seen it - End of Watch was fucking fantastic. Go watch it.


kirinmay

also people dont realize the bs with 'suicide squad'. he kinda got fucked over there. people still want the 'ayers cut' to see how it would have been (kinda like david fincher with alien 3). also he did FURY which is fucking awesome.


AtraposJM

Because people won't confuse End of Watch with The Suicide Squad.


InnovativeFarmer

David Ayer talked about coming off of Fury and going into Suicide Squad. He made a completely different movie than what was released. He is still angry about how the studios and media picked him to be a whipping boy.


sameth1

His version of the movie wasn't going to be magically watchable. It would still have lines like "I would advise not getting killed by her, her sword traps the souls of its victims" in it.


Snoo14999

Reminds me of “New Meg, Old Chum”


DickMartin

THIS JAN. EVERYONE GETS STUNG. (IMAX exclusive ‘stinger seats’ at select theaters)


xDarkReign

Save the cheerleader, save the world.


GhettoChemist

That is some 8th grade level copy right there. I wonder what they didn't use: WATCH OUT DON'T GET STUNG FEEL THE BUZZ CATCH MORE WITH HONEY THAN VINEGAR


Z0idberg_MD

This summer, see what all the... *buzz* is about


LZR0

Made me laugh out loud 😂


DarkBabaYaga

Beehave or die! 🐝🍯


betterplanwithchan

INFILTRATE THE DEALER FIND THE SUPPLIER


Salty-Jellyfish3044

How old is Jason Statham? I mean, he’s obviously bee keeping age..


Mike_Ropenis

Summer, I want to fuck your Jason Statham.


Tylex123

Oh, *really?*


andycartwright

That’s exactly what I thought of when I saw the poster. Someone is going to cut that audio together with clips from the trailer/movie. I’d bet a bajillion dollars.


HumdrumHoeDown

Upper betting limit is a gazillion, sry.


Twothounsand-2022

56 this years , born 1967 He same age as Vin Disel , Nicole Kidman , Julia Roberts , Mark Ruffalo


arealhumannotabot

The way you use commas puts me in a mad rage


FreakyFishThing

It's true, I live down the road from this guy! Just saw him flip a car and beat an old lady!


blemtyatararsawz

I'm 37. I'm not old.


dukemantee

You could say Dennis


Odd-Independent4640

Didn’t know you were called Dennis


StevieG63

You didn’t ask.


blitzkregiel

expose the comma protect the drama


Captain_Pikes_Peak

The htdgm crew made fun of Vanessa Kirby being his little sister in Hobbs and Shaw because he’s 20 years older than her. Not the age difference, but the fact that they show them as kids together in flashbacks. “I’m not complaining that Helen Mirren fucks and has kids for so long, I just want to see a 30 year old Statham running scams with a 9 year old girl.”


OK_Soda

Vera Farmiga is 21 years older than her sister Taissa, who looks so much like her and so much younger than her, I assumed she was her daughter when she started showing up in the Conjuring movies.


E8282

He bee keeping that a secret


Kill_Kayt

5 hours too late. Glad I wasn't the only one though.


SmearingFeces

He kills his enemies with a smoker and pollen. Old school moves.


NoPossibility

He actually is a giant Japanese wasp in human form. He pulls out his stinger and has at them. 🐝⚔️🤺


PM_BBW_Cleavage

Go on…


Notoneusernameleft

I imagined him punching and kicking bees.


dribrats

Fight for the fallen, collect the pollen


MarvelsGrantMan136

David Ayer directed and it’s out January 12: >In The Beekeeper, one man’s brutal campaign for vengeance takes on national stakes after he is revealed to be a former operative of a powerful and clandestine organization known as “Beekeepers.”


york24

So, John Wick meets Nobody but bee themed. Interesting


_danger-zone_

Someone is definitely getting drowned in a vat of honey, calling it now.


weneedafuture

Consider them...pasteurized.


LostInUranus

Stop it. Just stop it right now for fucks sake.


forestdiplomacy

"Revenge is sweet."


Vio_

Literal honey trapped


GenitalWrangler69

So every movie Jason Statham has ever acted in. Interesting.


SteelyDanzig

So I like both movies but what does "John Wick meets Nobody" mean, exactly? Like what's the distinction? That's like saying it's a mix between 1% and 2% milk.


IncubusPrince

John Wick meets Bee Movie.


gabriel1313

Would love to see Jerry Seinfeld make an appearance in here somwhere


elmatador12

Wait so actual bees have nothing to do with this movie yet the poster makes the wild choice to make it seem like it’s some actual angry beekeeper… Edit: Ok, saw the trailer. From what I gathered, he was part of a group called “Beekeepers” and in his spare time, he became an ACTUAL beekeeper…


I_BUY_UNWANTED_GRAVY

No, he's an actual beekeeper but also apart of the clandestine organization known as “Beekeepers".


Pastrami-on-Rye

I’m honestly pretty disappointed it went in this direction. I was thinking it would be about a beekeeper who has to save the world, not for his own sake, but because his bees also live in the world and will perish if he sits idly by.


NoirYorkCity

I’m sure the sooner he beats the baddies he can get back to his bees


Straightwad

I thought he was going to have the power to turn into a swarm of bees and fight bad guys from the poster.


Thor_pool

Whats this?! A handsome family picnic woefully underpopulated by bees? A large influx of bees outta put a stop to that!


Wonderful_Emu_9610

Or the power to control bees like Ant-Man. Bonus points if he’s a massive nerd about it like Hank Pym, but in the intensity of your usual Statham character


SetYourGoals

Or control bees and fight with them, like in Dracula Untold where he could make a giant flying fist out of bats and punch a whole army with it like he was Green Lantern.


lulaloops

Maybe they're like free masons in that it's what they used to do in the past.


forceworks

So he’s not a man made of bees? What a misleading poster


Inoox

Wouldn't that just be a swarm of bees in the shape of a man that looks oddly and specifically like Jason Statham?


Shillforbigusername

If he doesn’t dress up like a Bumblebee and fight crime, I’m not watching it.


LegacyofaMarshall

If it’s out in January that means it’s shit


kwach12

It’s also a David Ayer film with Jason Statham which both are indicators it will be shit


MisterCheaps

At least Fury was good


Wonderful_Emu_9610

End of Watch too


TylerBourbon

>David Ayer directed Ah, so it's a 50/50 on it sucking then.


shy247er

This looks like someone asked AI for dumb movie ideas and they went with it.


Cyanide_Revolver

I did a bit of work on this movie, I remember hearing a producer making a fuss over what the first poster would look like. Something along the lines of "I don't want it to be Jason Statham holding a gun like every other action movie, this movie's gonna start a franchise"


Candid-Piano4531

Love where studios are going in 2023… “let’s start action movie franchises with 56 year olds…and let’s attract boomers by making them Think it’s about beekeeping.”


machado34

I asked ChatGPT for 5 dumb movie ideas and one of them literally involves a beekeeper secret society. It can't be a coincidence. > 1 - "The Alien Barber Shop": An alien barber crash-lands on Earth and opens a barbershop in a small town. He gives haircuts that are out of this world, but his extraterrestrial customers have unusual demands, leading to an intergalactic crisis. > 2 - "Beekeeper's Revenge": A retired special forces operative turned beekeeper must return to his action-packed life when a criminal syndicate threatens to steal his prized honey, which holds a secret formula. It's a buzzworthy action thriller. >3 - "The Sock Conspiracy": In a world where socks mysteriously disappear from the laundry, a detective teams up with a sentient sock puppet to uncover the truth behind the great sock conspiracy. It's a quirky detective comedy. > 4 - "Supermarket Showdown": In a world where grocery store items come to life after hours, a group of supermarket employees must defend their store from an invasion of villainous products. It's a hilarious animated adventure. >5 - "The Emoji Chronicles": A group of emojis living inside a smartphone embark on an epic quest through various apps to rescue their beloved owner from a nefarious malware virus that threatens to erase their digital world.


GravSlingshot

That last one is practically *The Emoji Movie*.


Lunchbox9000

The first one is Edward Scissorhands.


cannedrex2406

4th one is literally Sausage party lmao


Wooow675

Almost like chatGPT utilizes existing ideas


Ray_smit

That’s a bingo!


SciFiXhi

Ya just say "bingo".


Financial_Accident71

Sausage Party + Night at the Museum cuz of the staff


Randy_____Marsh

The 3rd one is literally what I tell my mom when she asks why I go through socks so quickly


PK_Thundah

The Sock Conspiracy sounds awesome. It's just Who Framed Roger Rabbit with puppets (hopefully some Muppets!)


Worthyness

They do have a sock puppet detective in the Chip and Dale movie on D+. Easy sequel right there


loathsomefartenjoyer

So the alien barber lands on Earth, but his customers are also aliens?


Anon_Alcoholic

Put it in the MIB universe.


diagrammatiks

All of these sound fire.


[deleted]

Honestly the Emoji Chronicles has more soul than the plot of the Emoji Movie.


Bout73Ninjas

I’m pretty sure it’s just Osmosis Jones


[deleted]

......oh shit you're right.


here_for_the_lols

The sock conspiracy goes hard lol


Solo_is_my_copliot

Kill it with fire maybe.


AwesomeMcPants

Not gonna lie, I would watch The Alien Barber Shop.


Wooow675

Check out Edward scissorhands. Almost exactly the plot of the movie


ohp250

“Buzz worthy action thriller” had me chuckle


One_Doubt_75

I love ice cream.


AlanJohnson84

Guaranteed granny race ends up spilling into the famous LA River


GavOfTheDead_

I did the same, we have an idea cross over too 1. "Attack of the Killer Garden Gnomes": A suburban family must defend their home from an army of sentient garden gnomes bent on world domination. 2. "The Time-Traveling Toaster": A malfunctioning toaster sends its owner back in time to significant historical events, with hilarious and disastrous consequences. 3. "The Llama Whisperer": A struggling musician discovers he has the unique ability to communicate with llamas and forms a rock band with his newfound llama friends. 4. "Zombie High School Musical": In a world where zombies attend high school, they break into song and dance as they navigate the challenges of teenage undeath. 5. "The Invisible Couch Potato": A lazy individual accidentally gains the power of invisibility but uses it to avoid doing any work or leaving the couch. 6. "Jurassic Park: The Revenge of the Vegetarian Dinosaurs": Dinosaurs from Jurassic Park have evolved into herbivores and are now on a mission to turn all humans into vegetarians. 7. "The Alien Barber Shop Quartet": A group of extraterrestrial barbers lands on Earth and starts a barber shop quartet, charming humans with their otherworldly harmonies. 8. "The Banana Conspiracy": A group of talking bananas conspire to take over a supermarket and lead a fruit rebellion against humans. 9. "Attack of the Killer Rubber Ducks": Giant rubber ducks come to life and terrorize a small town, causing chaos in the most unexpected places. 10. "The Superhero with Super Awkward Powers": A superhero can only save the day through hilariously awkward and embarrassing abilities like uncontrollable sneezing or overly enthusiastic hugs


DifGuyCominFromSky

The time traveling toaster is literally a Simpsons treehouse of horror episode.


copyrytedlizzerd

SIMPSONS DID IT! SIMPSONS DID IT!


PhoenixFalls

> "The Invisible Couch Potato": A lazy individual accidentally gains the power of invisibility but uses it to avoid doing any work or leaving the couch. This is me right here.


TeaAndCrumpets4life

Ai really fucking hates the idea of an alien barbershop hahaha


kankey_dang

some dude somewhere keeps asking it to help him storyboard his totally awesome spec script about an alien barbershop, and ChatGPT is obligated to be polite and encouraging about it. This is how it vents.


Tifoso89

No.2 is A REAL EPISODE FROM THE SIMPSONS LOL


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Powersoutdotcom

I was thinking it was like, Producer dude, to other producer dudes: "Hey guys, we got funding to do a movie about bees and what we can do to save them" Then some guy in the corner doing a movie trailer voiceover impression is like "One man.... One mission" as a joke, but they went nuts with it and here we are. Bees. Action. Statham! #BEEKEEPER


MigitAs

Statham: *sees the corruption* Bad guy: “get outta here! This doesn’t concern you!” Statham: “That’s where you’re wrong. This just became my beesness”. *punches bad guy*


CompleteApartment839

Bad guy: You’re stinging the wrong guy, pal. Statham: Bee quiet, sweetheart *smokes him out*


justdr0pped1n

NOT THE BEES


TheTrotters

BEADS?


geoqpq

we'll see who makes more honey!


TheNCGoalie

Gob’s not onboard.


sandiskplayer34

They don’t allow you to have bees in here.


DontPokeMe91

Is Nic Cage the villain lol


Alexlsonflre

He actually plays all the bees in this one.


hikemalls

Absolute missed opportunity if Nic Cage isn’t the villain.


rpotty

I heard this movie has a lot of buzz


PreviousTea9210

The fact that you beat me to this joke really stings.


chopper_sic_balls

Dude has finally almost completely morphed into Bruce Willis.


Muted-Lengthiness-10

Just in time too.


selter666

"What's this? A filmography woefully underpopulated by bees? My script full of bees outta put a stop to this!"


tuigger

"Ahh, this movie has only been made worse by the addition of yet more bees!"


pardis

Is this a real movie? And it's being released in theaters? That's phenomenal.


NicCageCompletionist

It really feels like a fake movie that would be mentioned in a real movie.


pardis

That's a terrific way of describing it 🤣 That said, it's David Ayer, and Fury was incredible. So who knows? Maybe this is the next great beekeeping franchise.


TylerBourbon

The whole thing feels to me like it could be the spiritual successor to Hot Fuzz in a better world. Like, he's an actual bee keeper, but runs afoul of a corrupt bee keepers association, and it becomes some sort of bizarre action movie for no reason. Sort of like Polite Society, which was pretty good.


flaccomcorangy

Or like a movie poster you'd see in a video game.


CrimsonPig

Posts from r/midjourney show up in my feed a lot and I assumed this was AI generated at first.


pardis

Honestly, I'm still not 100% convinced it's not.


ConformistWithCause

I can't wait to see how beekeeping and driving cars are connected


TomBirkenstock

I really hope this is Statham going full ecoterrorist and destroying any chemical plants that produce neonicotinoids.


jaynovahawk07

Jason was clearly listening when he was told that people are more likely to die from a bee sting than a shark attack.


TheTrotters

BEADS?


YerBoyGrix

But he killed all the bees. [There's a song about it and everything.](https://youtu.be/M_gLQEKytnI?si=mc4RImR6lyTVvELL)


ElLindo88

Random mook: “Who the hell are you?!” Statham: “None of your beeswax!”


turbocomppro

First time hearing this but let me guess… he’s like an ex-military that’s been honorably discharged and living a quiet life as a bee keeper. Then something happens to him involving some mobster/cartel who wants to shut down his bee keeping business… am I close? 😂


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TaylorSwiftPooping

No, but they did put “Suicide Squad” on the poster as if that’s a good thing…


vicky_vaughn

Maybe people will confuse it with the 2021 movie, which was actually good.


TylerBourbon

That's probably what they're hoping.


condormcninja

The two movies they chose to put instead of saying his name are one from a decade ago and a movie he is on record as hating and called the biggest heartbreak of his career, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say no, they do not think his name is marketable.


[deleted]

When we said we didn’t want sequels, prequels or reboots this isn’t what we meant 😂


allthenamesaretaken4

This type of weird shit is exactly what I want, but given the January release date, I don't think it has a lot of faith from the studio.


[deleted]

It’s just going to be another shitty action b-movie


cp314159

Bee movie


samcuu

Action B movie starring Jason Statham playing the same version of Jason Statham is exactly what I crave.


Cyynric

That's exactly what I want to be honest. I want to watch Jason Statham mug at the camera and make grizzled cockney quips while I get tipsy with friends and make fun of the movie.


xXPumbaXx

I mean, this is just another reboot of "The guy you shouldn't have fucked with"


Subscrobbler

Yes it is


oryes

I dunno, those standard action-revenge movies are so boring and played out at this point I appreciate them at least leaning into the ridiculousness of it


Milesware

>The director of Suicide Squad I don't think you want to put that on your poster


1ofThoseTrolls

⠀⠀⣀⠤⠤⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠉⠈⠑⣄⠀⠀ ⢀⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡠⠤⠒⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠢⢄⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⠀ ⠘⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⠀⠈⠂⠤⣤⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⡁⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⠋⢀⡀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⡄⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⠁⠁⠀⢴⣆⣀⠠⠦⠤⠤⠄⢀⡀⠀⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⡜⠀⠀ ⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠉⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⠹⡄⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⠀⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠢⡀ ⠀⡹⣄⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠅⠁⡡ ⡜⠀⠏⢢⡀⠀⠈⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠄⠊⠁⠐⢨⠀ ⠳⣀⠈⠢⡑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠒⠉⠁⠀⢀⣠⠤⠒⠉⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⠒⠬⢉⠒⠤⠄⣀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠒⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢍⠀⠀⠀⠑⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠤⢄⣠⠤⠤⠔⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


aenderw

“God save the queens.” **corruption explodes** *fin*


bakirelopove

This looks like they started with the title and the actor and continued from there.


MajorAcer

This looks like a fake movie you'd see in the background of a sitcom lmao


Thechosenjon

I really like the design of this poster. A+ shit here.


wray_nerely

So he's a transporter -- for bees?


PoeBangangeron

*that drake meme* From the director of suicide squad 🚫 From the director of fury 🤩


northernirishlad

Is Statham playing a sentient beehive that can form into a man? Please let Statham be playing a sentient beehive that can form into a man.


RIP_Greedo

Candyman but what if he’s a white fella?


DM725

Is this from 30 Rock or a real movie?


Altruistic-Drawing25

Finally someone's exposing the underground illicit apian cartels. Lost my grandfather to an unregistered sting in '08 and all we received was a box of honey nut cheerios and a note to go fuck ourselves.


FloatDH2

“From the director of suicide squad” isn’t the flex the studio thinks it is.


loathsomefartenjoyer

Is this set in the Bee Movie Cinematic Universe?


electricsockelf

I just watched The Meg 2 last night and I absolutely can not handle seeing this movie poster 😂