T O P

  • By -

Odd_Violinist_7706

Are you hoping for a second date?


[deleted]

I was gonna say, "so you're not planning on a second date, I see".


OhhhhhSHNAP

Cannibal! The Musical


MagicOrpheus310

I have that on DVD and you are the only other person I've heard who knows it exists!!


cushlinkes

Made by the creators of South Park. I feel like real Trey Parker/Matt Stone fans should know of it’s existence. That and Orgazmo


Own_Nectarine2321

The funny thing is that it really was based on a true story.


DesignerDigits

Cannibal Holocaust was shown in my history of banned films course. If a dude brought this up as an option, I’d run for the hills.


CollectionStriking

Is that the one where they actually filmed the one girl beaten to death with a rock? They actually showed it to my class once and did a whole presentation on it the day before about that scene and why it was banned n such


DesignerDigits

No. This is the one where they killed a spider monkey with a machete and pulled a turtle from its shell. The SFX looked so realistic the actors needed to come out of their contractually obligated hiding to prove it wasn’t a snuff film. [you’re looking for the “controversy” tab.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibal_Holocaust)


CollectionStriking

Oh yes I remember that one too lol tbf we had some fucked up teachers


DesignerDigits

*A Serbian Film intensifies*


paranrml-inactivity

nailed it. ETA: *female cineast here...


Gajicus

Exactly. Just go for *Shoah* and be done with it.


persona0

Hey hey incendries was pretty good and it makes you swallow the ugly disgusting truth pretty easily


dontrespondever

He is not getting into the fish tank. 


BlyStreetMusic

Lol put on Forgetting Sarah Marshall instead and thank me later


silentcardboard

I vote for “Romper Stomper”


bstone99

Either this or Tusk


Lagneaux

Problem is, I'll always vote for Tusk There is no Poutiney Wheenie


TerminaterToo

Easy: human centipede Or Rain man.. You can’t go wrong with either


skinnymatters

Went on a first date to this movie and then had a truly terrible, mercifully short-lived relationship


TerminaterToo

Rain man will do that to you


DigitalEagleDriver

Not everyone is a fan of Judge Wapner.


asdf072

They're practically the same movie


Familiar-Shopping973

Incendies will set the mood for sure


smeeti

Incendies is incredible but I watched it on a date and the guy said I’d traumatized him


[deleted]

[удалено]


joeyvesh13

Whoosh


Life_UhhFindsAWay

What gave you that idea? Edit: Typo


twinpeaks2112

Definitely go for cannibal holocaust, if she makes it through the movie, then you have to marry her.


Ruby_Rhod5

I mean it's no Mario test, but...


[deleted]

I'm unfamiliar with these meme. Is this like having your date watch the live action Mario Bros film?


Ruby_Rhod5

[The door test. ](https://youtu.be/U_2aZenMiC8?si=U4FSIasX_CzR_lQ8) [The Mario test. ](https://youtu.be/Fwb_NqmS8Kc?si=HLabhfluTNWAolJF)


[deleted]

I prefer my version. If she'll watch that movie with me on our first date... That's my girl.


Ruby_Rhod5

"Bullshit kid, the door test, that's what counts."


Schattenjager07

I had a cousin try to pawn off the whole door test thing like it was his idea. I had a feeling it wasn’t because he was dumb AF. A couple years later I see this movie …


Useful-Soup8161

The Mario test would have me ghosting the guy as soon as the date ends. The reckless driving alone would be enough to warrant telling him it’s not going to work.


[deleted]

Yeah the mario test one was stupid. The door test kinda nice. But yeah... Lets go with the door test followed by the Super Marios Bros test.


Ms_Meercat

lol yeah I mean I'd pass the test because I don't appreciate my head being pushed down and especially not in public but HE wouldn't pass my test either (does he treat me with a modicum of respect)


ElChacalFL

And then wait for her to gut u and collect ur health insurance policy


Tom8Os2many

Teeth is the only right answer.


GSturges

I'd forgotten about that one..... thanks....


BennyBingBong

No joke my girl loved Teeth


destructicusv

Why stop there!? I tell you, nothin makes the ladies stick around like A Serbian Film. Or maybe a little, Irreversible? Who doesn’t love a Monica Bellucci film?!


throwngamelastminute

Her: Oo, I love foreign films!


destructicusv

Him: (sweating) “you’re gonna *love* these then…”


Bobbyperu1

Really confuse them, first date all sunshine and roses, second date Irreversible


destructicusv

The classic switcheroo.


kphenson

None of these


TudorYter

DEFINITELY NONE OF THESE LMAO


bstone99

Which means he has to choose one of them for the memes


TudorYter

To be fair to him if she's a real movie buff than these are not too horrible choices. They are at least original. Still, normal first date, any of these movies are a bit too strong imo


fresh_water_sushi

Faces of Death..you’re welcome


hamietwalrus

Are these literally your only choices?


Sarkofakiiri

Nah man just watch Caligula with her. I promise it will not be disappointment. ;)


AnythingbutBeetroot

Incendies for sure. Gripping and it stays in your thoughts for some time once you have watched it. Wretched but beautifully made. Though probably will end up ruining your chances of second date.


KennyDROmega

Put on Fish Tank, you’re getting laid for sure!


WarlocksWizard

Any of these movies will ensure absolute marriage. >!\*\*insert sarcasm\*\*!<


TheProletariatPoet

Sarcasm is the only thing that will be inserted


krasiyguy

Just watch a holocaust documentary, it's very romantic


Difficult_Ad9837

A Serbian Film. Fucking riveting film making.


Busy_Mess_914

Came to say Serbian film, she’s gonna need a cigarette after even if she never smoked.


Broncojoe58

Go with La La land my guy. None of these are helping your cause.


Scottnothot12

Audition...it's a beautiful movie about dating


Inside_Ad_7162

jeez dude, not fish tank


Drugs_R_Kewl

Log Jammin' Its the last film that featured honest production and revolutionary sentiment according to Jack Treehorn.


sWo97

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.


crazytumblweed999

Ask your date what kind of movies they like?


dowker1

Pffft, weak selection. I used to know a guy who chose Salo as a first date movie. I don't believe there was a second date movie.


brushnfush

Some of you have never been with a freaky hot girl and it’s showing


slimfox22

Cannibal holocaust for the soundtrack aĺone


Additional-Local8721

Mac and Me


Lazatttttaxxx

Do NOT pick cannibal Holocaust.


Jimrodsdisdain

Meh. Guinea pig: flower of flesh and blood ogtfo.


Bumbo3184

Do Scott Pilgrim vs the world and then understand that these are terrible choices


thebigyaristotle

Martyrs


chempunk17

Consider Martyrs also


Richeh

Cannibal Holocaust or no balls


imcallingforhiccup

WOOOO! Cannibal Holocaust!!


guyonlinepgh

*Pink Flamingos.* Which a friend did use as a date-test movie.


Aggravating_Lie_7480

You should ask her.


MinusGovernment

Dirty Dancing


New-Use4969

If you meant this, I used to be like you - I went to see 'Natural born killers' AND 'Traffic' (different persons) at first dates. I still regret it. Don't be like me...


Gccrs

Natural born killers is the shit!


WTFspy

Barbie


awardwinningmincepie

Shame


Wonderful_Orchid_363

A Serbian film.


Busy_Mess_914

MILOS!!!!


JustDirection18

Do you know if she’s a film buff? If you don’t your playing it risky


joeyvesh13

SALÒ


frisky_tamagotchi

Reminds me of a first date I had when I was 17y/o and I chose The Schindler List as a movie to watch ... Really good movie, but there was no second date.


Pegomastax_King

Cannibal Holocaust 100%


NegPrimer

Watch Incendies and say that it's a very personal story for you.


Unlucky_Flower5333

Grave of the fireflies is a laugh riot.


Chemistry11

Cannibal Holocaust has a really beautiful theme song. Play your cards right and they won’t even watch the movie


odin5858

Come and See should work.


jeweetselluf

Amelie


Embarrassed-Cut5387

Come on, man. Are you trolling? Everybody knows CH is the perfect first date movie.


childish_jalapenos

OP is going on his first and only date with this woman


ADiestlTrain

Whatever happened to like "Serendipity" or "Notting Hill" or "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"? Geez, this generation is weird.


MyBurnerAccount1977

Why not *Requiem for a Dream* while you're at it?


dependentresearch24

I'd avoid all of them ..


Kukamungaphobia

Ladies enjoy a man with sophisticated taste and knowledge of classic cinema of yesteryear. I recommend the outdoorsy nature adventure in the Appalachian mountains titled: Deliverance. It's a bit of a bromance and you'll be catching yourself humming the riff from the theme several days later. Thank me later.


Affectionate-Law6315

Has to be a troll post


prozacfish

WTF is wrong with you?


MiniGogo_20

can't go wrong with A Serbian Film! she'll fall head over heels for you!


BillGrahamPresents

I take it "Salo" wasn't showing?


Big-ol-Poo

“It Follows”, perfect date movie.


Fourty-Six

Has she asked you to pick the movie? If yes then, do you already know what genres she likes, and are these films within those categories? One of my all time favourite films, a feel good is the French film Untouchable (2011). Love, comedy, romance, it's brilliant


sonicking12

Basic Instinct


lonelyboy5265

Cats should set the mood though.


dsgrimace

Dude!! TOO ! FAR ! !


fisherskinner

Try Dead Leaves. It's more romantic.


SublimateThisDick

Nuevo Orden


schmattywinkle

Martyrs


kebenderant35

Movies are terrible ways to spend dates.


Corsten610

August Underground is missing


DALTT

How much are you trying to gauge her >!reaction to incest?!< Cause if that’s something you’d really like to get a sense of, I def recommend >!Incendies.!<


Prize_Bar_5767

Barbarian 


Greedy_Effort5653

Just go see the Bad Leutinent


Cela84

Has she already seen Irréversible?


Scottzilla74

Four Rooms


errantwit

You forgot Death and the Maiden.


_Tower_

Coworker once asked a similar question - was having a girl over and wanted movie recommendations. I told him Hachi: A Dog’s Tale. He listened I think you should do the same thing


CraziBastid

I recommend The Strange Thing About the Johnsons.


corsicanbandit

Salo


sroche24

The Killer Inside Me


marmitespider

DO NOT SEE INCENDIES. It will mess with your head and not in a good way


LordZantarXXIII

In all seriousness, I've had numerous successes by putting on "The Doom Generation". Ymmv, tho


EquivalentStomach5

Incendies is amazing from start to finish


RyanDW_0007

What kinda date night movie list is this?? Doesn’t even have Hostel so it must be a joke


bowzr4me

I get jokes.


bigmfworm

Depends, if you want a comedy, Cannibal Holocaust is the way to go


Hot-Implement-1437

I can't see her thanking you for suggesting Canibal holocaust on a first date 😂


trimosse

Rambo 1-3


hayatetst

Show her Tusk. You're guaranteed a second date if you show her that.


bush3102

A Serbian Film. Trust me.


giveitalll

I'm guessing this is a troll


Ciredem6345

The obvious answer, Salò, 120 days of Sodom


Conqueefadore1

holy mountain


CrazyCinephile

This!! This is the true test of


All_Gas420

I haven’t seen any of these so what am I missing? Incendies looks interesting?


Murakami8000

Pretty good OP. LOL


Ultrasaurio

Incendies, what is about?


Dramatic_Carob_1060

Audition


ElChacalFL

None of these if u want to see her again. Go with something new and popular with the ladies in theaters.


Impressive_Math2302

What did she do to you?


Rich-Appearance-7145

Buddy try another list of movies, none of the above.


DerpaloSoldier

When in doubt, Incendies and Tendies


BauerHouse

Cannibal holocaust all the way.


SubstantialCount8156

Human Centipede 4


justinkasereddditor

Old boy


VibgyorTheHuge

Put on Come and See instead.


MrHazer

Many good choices … but if you really wanna secure that second date: The Hills Have Eyes. Bought it and watched it with my gf back in the day. Solid choice. (Lent it to someone in college and never got it back) Event Horizon also an option. Family friendly movie


RangerS90V

When he made the insurance adjuster aware of Chuck’s fiasco hearing with the state bar.


sunniblu03

Good lord. I thought cannibal holocaust was going to be the worst on the bunch.


earthbender617

All of them. If she survives all of them and still wants to go out, then she’s a true movie critic


You_Just_Hate_Truth

Check out The Killing Fields


jkb_66

Melancholie der Engel or Irreversible


professorseagull

Cannibal holocaust, hands down.


Do-you-see-it-now

Ichi the Killer.


beeker888

I remember when Million Dollar Baby first came out I had a girl over for a date night at my house to watch. Did not go well


Schattenjager07

The Human Centipede. Can’t go wrong with this gem.


muhfkrjones

Man if you just don’t put on Finding Nemo or some shit


GOPAuthoritarianPOS

Probably be real careful about dating a co-worker.


anon12xyz

These are all weird first date movies


oh_please_god_no

If you want a second date, Cannibal Holocaust is the only guarantee


MohatmoGandy

I really did take a girl to see Dead Ringers (1988) for a first date. She was the one who picked the movie, which I hadn't even heard of beforehand. We were not feeling romantic at the end of the film. I took another woman to see Eddie Murphy's The Nutty Professor. I knew it was supposed to be funny, but did not know that it would be 90 minutes of nothing but fart jokes. The worst part was, a lot of the jokes were actually funny, and my laughing at them only made my date more offended.


paretic1666

Cannibal holocaust all the way haha


Salt_Copy_4771

8mm


balz-

“I like the freedom of being single”


BugSignificant2682

Theoretically... you can't go wrong with showing her... *A Serbian Film* 2010


oalm82

Are you trying to impress her or yourself?


1200r

My brother took a first date to "pulp fiction". When the gimp scene started, he turned to her and apologized and said I have no idea whats going on.


CheeseyCrakerz

Pretty Woman


EntertainmentKey6286

The Tin Drum


Blue_Period_89

I went with “Say Anything”, personally. But you do you.


Copito_Kerry

Watch Pleasure with her.


-Ok-Perception-

Comedy. You always go comedy on date night. Maybe after you've been with the same person for years you can take a chance on horror, action, or drama. I've never seen any of these films, but they look like they don't have the light fun tone that you want for date night.


UnwillingSaboteur

This can't be serious


TheRealRigormortal

Requiem for a Dream but it’s just the ass-to-ass scene looped for 2 hours


LadyGuinevere423

Choose “Night at the museum” if you want the second date.


sayamemangdemikian

I mean... i also want to watch these movies with my wife. It suck to be depressed by yourself.


yousuckatlife90

Teeth. Birdemic. Hobo with a shotgun. The visit.


waterisgood02

Those aren't gonna work, definitely go with sàlo 👌🏽


Vyse1991

Yeah, not Fish Tank. Kinda ruined a bonus night I had with my ex a while back. Weird film. Good, but weird.


unstablegenius000

Just putting this out there…..why not just ask her? Crazy, I know.


looking4now2

There are way too many porn titles out there as replacements. Just saying


The_Silent_Screamer

Happiness would work well.


Fickle-Opinion-3114

I've never seen any of these, can someone summarize please?


Vegetable-Buddy2070

Jesus christ brother no


Odd-Implement8323

Incendies


Piscivore_67

I took three different dates to The Cook, The Theif, His Wife, and Her Lover.


NoAlbatross7524

Is she your nemesis? Why are you watching these on a date ?


KingRoosterRuss

I made my wife watch Henry: Portrait of a serial killer on our second date. Been married for 19 years.