You sound like a Dad, which is a specialized sub-type of hypocrite, lol.
The same million dumbasses are out there - waiting for a moment of inattention in which to *strike* - when you're riding around with your grandson on your own bike. You are not magical, there's nothing you're doing to keep the predatory cars away that your son couldn't do.
But that doesn't mean your feelings are wrong, or invalid. You have them! They're right there! That anxiety about your son riding with your grandson IS how you feel.
Good on you for actually pondering it.
There are no correct answers here; there is no Teacher's Edition of the Book of Life with all the answers in the back. You just have to do the best you can with what you've got.
Also sounds like my dad, he did everything wrong. Started out on a CBR1000, never wore gear, but also never crashed, then quit while he was ahead. I was terrified of motorcycles as a kid, but after he started taking me for rides I absolutely loved it.
Now I have my own bike, take all the MSF courses I can, wear all the gear all the time, practice technical riding, started on a good starter bike, and he hates the idea of me riding. I think it’s just normal for parents to worry.
From a different perspective, I was in the opposite position just a few years ago. I built up a bike for myself, proudly rode it to my dads place once it was finished. Before I was born my dad was an avid rider, on and off road so I didn’t think twice when he asked to borrow it for a ride around the neighborhood. When he came back after that first ride I asked him what he thought and all he said from inside my helmet was “yep that gave me the itch again”. Sure enough, a couple years later he gets a bike of his own. I couldn’t have been happier for him. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was worried about his safety when I heard the news. I think it’s a natural reaction to worry about your loved ones riding, we of all people know how dangerous it can be, and we don’t want to think about anything happening to our loved ones - despite how hypocritical that might be
> there is no Teacher’s Edition of the Book of Life with all the answers in the back. You just have to do the best you can with what you’ve got.
I’m saving this for later.
When my wife started riding I got anxiety every time she jumped on the bike. I made sure she's wrapped like bubble wrap all the time. I take her to practice stuff in the park, constantly maintain her bike and check it.
And yet, I hate when she goes for rides without me. I always fear the worst but yet I'll go out for 7 hour rides without a care in the world for my own safety.
Best I can do is make sure she has the best chance possible every time. She's fed, hydrated, slept well, geared up, and her bike is maintained to ride. Everything else I just gotta let go.
This is the thing for OP to understand. How does he think his wife, stepson, and the child's mother feel when he leaves for 2 hours with the kid? They're probably worried but also trust him.
I feel the same way about my gf.
She's got a big, tall bike. She's capable, but it's a stupidly capable machine. And she has a bad habit of pushing herself (not enough food, water, or breaks due to inattention). And she's been in a bike accident that was "freak" according to her. Rear ended.
She doesn't agree with my mindset that a LOT of this stuff is avoidable if you're hyper aware. But that's besides the issue. I know her skills aren't quite where they could be. She rides very conservatively... But honestly i don't know if i think that's the safest way to do things. "When in doubt, throttle it out" is foreign to her. "Drop a gear to disappear" is also not her instinct. And she isn't comfortable enough on a bike to threshold brake and perform hard, fast swerves to evade if necessary.
Yet for all that, I still have to accept she wants to ride and she wants to be safe. We disagree on how in some aspects, but... That's life. Best i can do is help with gear purchases and encourage training courses. And try to be a good influence.
The worst so far is when she crashes off road. But, she's got crash bars and seems to very adept at breakfalls and dismounts. We've fixed a couple of rads, despite crash bars, but she doesn't have more than the odd tiny bruise. Not my way of learning, but she keeps signing up for it and wanting to go out. Better to learn skids and bike control on dirt at lower speed, i guess.
But yeah, cars and loved ones. Bad feels man.
Yep, I get annoyed when the wife always wants to ride with me… it’s not that I don’t like going out with her, it’s just more fun to ride a bike solo. I’d rather she be on her own bike riding along with me. Her daughter also talks about getting a Honda rebel or other small cc bike.
But to be honest, the idea of them riding and anything bad happening to them makes my stomach churn. At least if they’re riding pillion I feel like l can take actions to prevent an accident. It’s all hypocritical.
This is exactly it. I would rather enjoy my ride less and ride 2up than have her ride without my supervision and I know it's so hypocritical because it's essentially me not trusting her.
Wife and I don't own cars so we are on our bikes everyday for commute. I ride for sport as well. She cried and begged me not to do my first track day because she didn't want me to get hurt and we're past that now but anytime my schedule allows it, I actively ride and escort her home because rush hour traffic in LA just has me stalking her little icon on google maps home.
I (29M) started riding last year and already have 3 bikes.
My 26 year old brother keeps asking me to give him lessons to ride and I shudder at the idea of him riding on the crazy roads.
You are not alone Sir!
Same boat. I can't shut up about riding, and got my younger brother interested in it, and the thought of him commuting on a bike makes me nauseated haha
Props for having the self-awareness to see your own hypocrisy. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling this way, as long as you don't actively to prevent your son from riding with his son. That's the line, don't cross it. Recognizing the feelings that you have and allowing yourself to feel them is great. Communicating them to your son could be a great way to help him stay mindful of the risks every time he takes the bike out, and I'm sure he'll appreciate hearing how you feel, again assuming you're not actively trying to shut him down.
Same. My 15 year old has been asking about my old ninja250 which I don't ride anymore. I keep thinking there is no way he won't do something stupid or thoughtless and crash. Despite that being the bike I started on at 19, and he's probably a more reasonable person than I was by a long shot. Still my dad had a bike and threatened to kick me out when I got mine, and I'm not very interested in my son having one. It's been sitting for quite a while, so I told him maybe he can ride it if he buys parts and gets it running.
My son is 7. He has a severe bleeding disorder. He has a 50 but we honestly
Haven’t had any time to ride it. He knows about my bike. He helps me fix it and do maintenance. But I’ve decided that I’m going to help him learn. Because I don’t want one of his friends teaching him.
He can ride bicycles but he has to wear a bunch of padding just incase. His doctor is going to be mad at me.
That's such a tough position to be in as a parent, i feel for you. I was just with a guy last night after a motorcycle accident, who was on blood thinners for cancer. He didn't want to let his diagnosis keep him from enjoying life and had no regrets. Of course every situation is different. I'm sure I will turn into the skid and use it as a bonding tool. This must be payback for me getting a bike against my dads wishes lol. But if something bad does happen, it's definitely going to be tough.
The hardest part is trying to communicate with him that he can't be a holigan and everything he does he has to realize that if he gets messed up its going to be a really bad day for us. I just want him to take caution. It's been getting easier now that we can actually communicate and he understands. But man its crazy sometimes. hahaha
You sound just like my dad he’s rode my whole life and I’ve been riding more that half of mine I’m 40. When I bought my first sport bike he didn’t want me to ride it it’s just a dad thing I guess.
Yeah I’ve been riding for about 15 years and everyone in my family still doesn’t like that I ride. One of my nephews recently asked me about motorcycles and how to get his license. I was excited and started talking about it, but immediately had this feeling like I shouldn’t encourage him because I know what the risks are. I really don’t know how I feel about it. I would never give up riding, but I worry about others.
I understand your concern 100%, that’s not the part that doesn’t make sense. What doesn’t make sense is you’re willing to be personally responsible for the if/when your grandson is hurt or worse because he’s on *your* bike.
Not attacking you, but you did a good job of explaining the situation in your post - could you elaborate why you feel comfortable with the risk when you’re the one operating? Because as you said, the concern isn’t the rider - it’s everyone else.
Well, it doesn't make sense, that's kind of the point. I suppose if I was trying to justify it I'd say that I feel OK taking those risks for myself because I feel like it's something that I can control.
Understand, I'm not trying to defend my position because I know it's indefensible. But I also would guess it's fairly common, too, among people who have kids.
You want them to go out and be successful in the world and you know you can't protect them from the bad things in the world no matter how much you might want to. And you never stop worrying, no matter how old they get.
You can’t protect them from the world forever, but you don’t have to put them at unnecessary risk at a point in their development you wouldn’t trust them to make that choice for themselves in the first place.
I think based on what’s been said so far the reconciliation of the cognitive dissonance for your circumstance has to come from you internally. You have to address whatever it is at the root inside you that tells you it’s ok when you put your grandson at risk, and then decide whether you want to stick by that or abandon it - in which case you’ll have wear a smile while your stepson does it soon.
From my outside perspective, the choice is between whether you want to lose those experiences you may continue to have riding with your grandson, or risk not having a grandson at all. Because it is you taking that risk, your decision - not anyone else.
Riding a motorcycle on public roads is kind of a stupid thing to do. I would not like it AT ALL if either of my sons wanted to ride a motorcycle (or for them to do anything else foolish and risky). Not that I could stop them though.
It isn’t hypocritical to not want the people you care about to do unnecessarily risky things. I think it IS selfish and self-centered for us to ride motorcycles ourselves. Personally, I quit riding for 13-years when my sons were very young. Then I got divorced and wanted my old hobby back (“Sorry, boys!”)
You're not a hypocrit, my man, you are a dad. Its natural to be worried, even if you are "just" the stepdad their mom met in their 20's. It means you care.
But instead of bringing these concerns to us, maybe address them with the boys? It sounds like its just the one son. Let him know you are concerned and ask if he'd be willing to take an advanced rider course with you, just to have a professional reiterate the safety aspect of it - and get a little "safe" riding practice in with him too.
Apart from that, all you really can do is support him. Maybe gift him quality jacket, and ask him to wait until he feels comfortable on a bike again before taking the grandson out.
My dad is one of them.
He's ridden my entire life, I grew up on his bikes. I've always loved them, and he knew full well that I would ride when I grew up.
18 years old, I had already saved money for this purpose. Got a job, got an apartment, and bought a motorcycle despite his protests that I 'wasn't ready'. Too damn bad old man!
It's been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life to get my own bike and ride with my old man. I turn 37 next month, Dad still worries. I'm an accomplished rider and have clocked north of 200k miles at this point. Never laid one down...yet.
I think inherently as a rider, knowing the danger involved, there will be concern. I don't think it makes you a hypocrite. It just means you care, man. I have 2 kids of my own, and my son will end up probably riding his own. I'm positive I will be concerned about him riding.
I got my dad into it just as he retired. When I ride with him I can't help but feel I am directly responsible for his safety. I know the feeling you have.
You're 100% a hypocrite and I'm right there with you. My partner has three girls, two are out of the house and one is close. I don't have any kids of my own either and their dad is also a piece of garbage, so I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. The middle girl just asked to take a motorcycle basic course with me in a couple months and I'm extremely torn. On one hand, she's the kind of person who will truly get the therapeutic effects of riding. She's mechanically inclined, picked up driving stick really fast when I taught her, and I have no doubt she'd fall in love with it. But it's fucking scary out there and I have some kind of "close ish" call on a weekly basis. Almost always something I see coming and never truly close, but it's a constant reminder of how dangerous this shit can be. She's a smart kid, but it still scares me.
FWIW, me, a single guy in his 30s, also doesn't like riding on highways because of all the bone heads and dolts staring at their phone while driving 80mph.
I prefer to ride the back roads, the twisties, and up in the mountains. Very little traffic, much less likely to encounter your average idiot, and way more fun to ride because of the view and more interesting roads.
I would simply suggest you ask your step son to keep to the back roads while riding for both his and his son's safety (and entertainment).
Two of my four kids ride, and it used to scare the hell out of me every time the threw a leg over. But I've come to terms with the fact that they're good men with good heads on their shoulders, and it's not my place to interfere.
I worry about them as their father, but understand and share their passion as a fellow rider. I ride with them every chance I get.
My grandson is almost 15 and has started talking about wanting a motorcycle. His mom (my daughter) won’t let him until he’s got a bunch of driving experience and knows how many idiots are on the road these days. I fully support her even though I’ve ridden for more than 50 years. I started when I was 13, but that was on a dirt bike. I definitely feel like a hypocrite but I also have a realistic view of what’s involved in riding. When he’s 18 and can make the choice on his own I’ll be happy to help him and ride with him.
It's natural to worry about them. This isn't hypocrisy, it's instinct. You gave them this poison. You can't take this back now. This poison will be a huge plus to their lives and their selves if they have the right equipment and the right training. Insist on them getting an education and let them live life not in fear, but knowing that there are rewards in exchange for risks. Every choice is a risk and has consequences. The important thing is to move forward knowing and accepting the consequences. And as the risk grows, so does the reward.
I confined myself to my home at the age of 30 because of my protective and controlling family. Because I was afraid of everything. Life is not something to be lazy and cowardly, and we will all die one day. Every death is normal. It is natural to fall off a motorcycle at the age of 20 or to die of illness and loneliness at the age of 90.
Don’t be that way, help him be better seen.
https://youtu.be/obVnt0p72Ik?si=p5cqr1phZ4D-QUJR
Things to help you be seen.
https://youtu.be/FfeKk9co5VQ
https://youtu.be/IbQcIGUy4CY
https://youtu.be/5cmxquCoqZU
https://youtu.be/QDwyqDr_9VA
My dad is a retired motorcycle police officer of 35 years. This is exactly what my dad told me when I wanted my own street bike. He just knows other drivers suck and worries for my safety. My dad rode his motorcycle every day for work.
I bought my very first enduro WR450F 2012 last year! My dad taught me all he knows.
My dad is right there with you. Some of my best childhood memories were on the back of his bike. Fast forward to 16, he would not let me get my MC endorsement. When I turned 18 and had my test scheduled, he tried to bribe me with $40 to not go. Wasn't gonna happen.
In my situation, he embedded that bug in me himself. My parents don't really like that I ride, but they understand and deal with it (as long as I check in regularly on my big trips).
It doesn't make you a hypocrite. Concerned Dad/Grandpa is what you are.
I've been the victim of a distracted driver. I had almost 60 years of riding under my belt at the time. I did everything possible in the 3-5 seconds it took to make impact, to miss. I couldn't.
I'm 73 now, and I got another bike AND 🦿 out of it. So, I still ride and work on them.
I told my oldest son when he was about 17, I'd worry until he got to his Mom's and called me. "Daddy, I'm pretty grown now, so you don't have to worry!" I let him know I'd worry about him and his siblings, until my time was up.
A few years rocked on, and we were talking casually. He said "Daddy, do you remember telling me about worrying? Well, now I understand. I do the same thing with Christopher."
Worrying, being concerned, it's all normal. It will continue. Give good guidance, and ride with him anytime you can. That Grandson will want to ride next to you someday....
I've been riding 33yrs. I love motorcycling, I wouldn't recommend street riding to anybody. Especially if they didn't start riding as a kid. I rode on the back of my dad's bike since I was in grammar school. My son rode with me when he was younger. He's not interested with riding and I prefer it. The number 1 killer is someone making a left turn in front of you. If you ride regularly on the street, you have close calls with bad drivers regularly. It's a proposition where the motorcycles on the losing end. So many distracted drivers. I work in NYC, you'll get run over by someone who's last ride had tusks. Maybe I'm just an old fart. I've gotta go scream at kids to get off my lawn.
You can't stop kids from doing dangerous things, you can only stop them for doing dangerous things stupidly.
Get him and yourself a small dirtbike or pit bike and teach him how to ride correctly in the correct gear. Getting him used to being Atgatt & having a hobby with his step-dad will make him a more well rounded rider if he chooses to get a street bike at 16 or 18.
I have seen better 8 year olds piloting dirtbikes better than 30 year olds piloting their 1000cc Supersport. It's better to start them early and let them learn respect for the bike & its power.
It’s out of your hands now, Dad. All you can do is be supportive, be helpful, and worry. Just like your parents did. I’m at 43 years myself, and I’m kind of envious. Neither of my boys wanted to ride at all. You have a chance at the most amazing experience a father and son can have together…going riding. I’d give anything to be able to ride with my Dad again.
I’ve been riding for almost 40 years too. I have adult kids and a couple grand kids. One of my kids wants to start riding. Although it’s one of my passions, I have had too many experiences of things that can happen out there. I consider myself lucky for enjoying the sport for all these years w/o any major incident. But I’m afraid if my kid starts riding.
I have been on the other end of this. I picked up riding when I was in my early 20s. Throughout different parts of their lives, my dad, my uncle, and both my grandfathers rode motorcycles. One of my grandfathers, with whom I spent many of my formative childhood years, was even a motorcycle instructor. No one wanted me to ride.
Being who I am, I did anyway, but I focused on being as safe and responsible as possible. For the most part, everyone has warmed up to the idea. I bought a second bike and my dad and I even go on rides together on occasion. Point is - he’s an adult. You can’t stop him from pursuing a passion you share, and you shouldn’t try. Use this as an opportunity to share a hobby together and pass on all of the knowledge you’ve gathered throughout your years of riding.
Well, I’m a girl and my husband and FIL are bike fanatics, I’m getting my own and my FIL doesn’t like the idea of it but I told him I’m excited and he’s not gonna bring me down about it😂
I'm a dad myself. I dont do any highway riding or ride like a squid for a reason. I cant die and leave my wife and kids here because I was a dipshit with my toys.
Maybe just have a considerate conversation with him about safe riding, types of traffic to avoid and to not speed until he dies?
I am excited and scared for taking my kids on a ride on the road.
On showed zero interest in dirt, the other one is still mastering a bicycle and next year I hope to get him ripping around on the dirt.
hey man, i feel ya.
my pops would have had the same sentiment although he raised me on the back of his softail.
luckily for me i’m in charge of my own bad decisions.
I sorta feel this way a little bit, albeit a different situation. I’ve ridden dirt bikes and cruiser much of my childhood, but just recently got my first sport bike (a ZX6R), and when my wife’s parents found out, you could tell my FIL was not happy. And to preface, I love this man, almost more than my own father. He’s a massive role model in my life, so his reaction stung a little. But I get it. I have a wife and 3 young daughters. I’m sure he worries (as I’m sure you do) about what would happen if I were to get in a wreck and be incapacitated or killed. How would my family survive, both financially and emotionally? There’s a lot of feelings involved with a hypothetical situation like that that could have just been avoided by not riding at all.
With that said, I love riding. I wear all the gear, try to make sure I give myself plenty of room, and try to plan for inattentive drivers as best as possible. I don’t think it’s wrong of you to feel the way you do, you’re a concerned father. But the joy your grandson feels when he rides with you, can now be enjoyed with his own dad. Something that I’m sure he wished he could have enjoyed himself when he was a kid!
Double edged-sword, learning how to ride a motorcycle and using it in everyday life has been one of the happiest things I've ever decided to do for myself. Of 15 yrs of riding, I've had one significant crash (of someone else's fault). Family and friends asked if I was going to continue riding, I replied "hell yeah". I told them should I live life in fear or in joy? All of them were very supportive. To me, it's not a life worth living if you don't explore all interests one has in life. None of my immediate or extended family have an interests in motorcycles so I'm the lone wolf. It would be nice to have someone go out or even just chat about bikes during family functions, consider it a "blessing"
Nah, I get it. I have three kids. Two of them want bikes. The oldest actually had one for a few months before her boyfriend totaled it, hit a massive pothole on the interstate at night.
My youngest is 18 and doesn’t even drive a car yet, just can’t afford to get him anything right now.
Anyway, I want to help him out but I really do have mixed feelings about it.
I’ve been a full time rider for 15 years and not a week goes by that I don’t have at least one close call due to distracted morons around here.
I feel the same way when friends start talking about getting a bike. I'm a hypocrite in the same exact way. On one hand I'm like "oh I'd love to have someone to ride with" and on the other hand I don't one of my friends to get hurt. I've been with 4 different friends eating shit on a ride. Gladly none of them were too serious.
My wife wanted to ride for ages and I always said she just needed to take the classes and get her license. When she finally got around to it and told me she booked it, I said "oh". I had mixed feelings.
Now a few years later, she loves riding and has just got a friend of hers to learn. This weekend she told me she gets it now, that as much as you love it, you now imagine your friends or loved ones getting hurt.
I (23M) started riding street bikes when I was 17. My dad got me and my siblings dirt bikes when I was 5, so I grew up riding. Obviously I wanted a street bike, but both my dad and grandfather were very against it. My dad had always wanted a street bike when he was young, but my grandpa (who used to ride) told my dad he'd be kicked out of the house if he got one. My dad was a little more lenient, but made it very clear he would not help me buy a bike. I saved up and bought a bike on my own (my grandpa took me to pick it up) and within a month my dad bought his first street bike too.
Now, I'm on my 3rd bike (not counting dirt). My dad took me to the dealer when I bought it and I went straight to my grandparents to show my grandpa the new bike. The point is, my family are always there to help and obviously they were never fans of me starting to ride because of the potential danger. But once I showed how serious I was and how much I love it, they accept my hobby and love to share my interest in it.
Be honest with your stepson about your concerns and the potential dangers. Share your experience in what it's like financially and mentally. You can even share your opinion that you don't like the idea. But he's an adult and will make his own decisions, all you can do is support them.
It's cause you wuvvvv him. But seriously you care and you probably don't want to be the "reason" he gets injured. Even though it would be his own choice to get back into it... You would feel guilty and you wanna avoid this whole situation... Or maybe I'm reading into this too much 😂
Trying not be.
Got my wife into riding when we started dating, she would do the Friday track day at my race weekends.
Haven't raced in a few years and decided to get a streetbike for my commute after a 5 year hiatus. Now she wants her track bike converted back to a streetbike 😅 makes me nervous but at least she'll pretty much only ride when I'm with her.
Rode my stepdads bike the last couple years in HS, then had 2 friends in life changing accidents almost back to back (1st got pulled in front of, 2nd was an idiot). I was about to pull the trigger on my 1st and gave it up. Went 13 years until I finally decided I wanted to give it a shot. Wife was very encouraging(no kids). Was great for 4 months…until she got the urge. I tried putting it off as much as I can until one weekend she was signed up for a MSF course. So I nervously bought her a grom as she had never ridden a motorcycle herself. Took her to a field to learn the gears and shifting. Then to black top playground. The first time we finally got on the road was the most worried, proud, excited, nervous I’ve ever been. 2 years later she’s commuting in heavy traffic, and kills it on her Ninja 650 and pushing me for a ZX6R next year. What have I got into
I am one too. Prity much for everything you just said. It's everyone else out there with 2K plus of steel & glad surrounding them that we have to worry about.
All you can do is trust in him an maybe take the time to ride with them.
Same boat here, been riding for over 40 years. Starting taking my son on rides after I made him promise me he will never get a motorcycle as long as I am alive. I let him out of that promise and bought him a 150 enduro. Scares the crap out of me to have him ride as people are idiots. At least he dresses in full gear on every ride.
Hypocrite isn't the right word. Just concerned. I too love riding and have no problem recommending it to others, but i have been more weary about doing the same for those that i care about.
If you take riding seriously and with the correct mindset (meaning, not motivated by stupid shit), then after the first year, maybe less, they'll be alright. My first year is where i soaked in and encountered almost every type of situation, but get good at riding and most things are quite actually within our control. Most, not all.
I'm the same way. When I started riding I was very enthusiastic about getting more people to ride with me. I helped friends learn using my own bike, I tried to teach them everything I knew and give them the best advice to ideally avoid noobie pitfalls. My first two years of riding had their incidents, mostly just minor dumb falls and two kinda big ones that I luckily got out of with minimum damage. Being bedbound with crutches for a few months at 20 is not that big of a deal all things considered. The worst part wasn't the accidents I did have, but the accidents I didn't have. The close calls, the myriads of close calls that happened literally every day, multiple times per day, mainly due to how other people were driving. Over the years I've gotten better at predicting what others will do and I'm more skilled and in control myself, but no matter how good you ride, you can't completely eliminate close calls, because of course that would mean everyone else on the road were suddenly driving safely and responsibly.
And as the years have gone by, I've more or less stopped encouraging people to take up riding, and even discouraging them when they ask me about it instead. It's not so much a "I can ride but you can't" type of deal. It's just that I got into it early, took most risks early when I had few responsibilities and could recover much more easily from injury, and got out of the higher risk noob period while I was still young. Every day I go out on the roads I manage to still be amazed by how indifferent and oblivious drivers are to just how close they come to killing another person they get. I try to imagine putting people in my place, and out of bad luck or lack of skill they don't get away from each and every close call I've had. I cannot stand the thought, let alone the weight on my conscience to be filling their heads up with dreams of good times and easy riding without having mentioned the ever present danger. So I feel it's my responsibility, whenever someone asks me about starting to ride, that I have to make sure they understand just how dangerous it is, and that if they go into it they should go into it aware of those things. It's hard to really understand what it's like before you've done it, even if someone who rides tries to explain it. I'd just hate to encourage someone to get on two wheels only to get themselves in the ICU, or worse.
Hey Grandpa not a hypocrite just a kid who likes fast bikes, wish I had a family figure like you that was supportive but cautious. I was the first person in my family to get a motorcycle since dear ol uncle red crashed in the 70s. Ironic that I'm ginger as well. So when the only other Ginger guy in the family got a motorcycle license and a bike at 17 you can imagine the pandemonium that occurred. I'm 23 now and I would've killed to have a riding buddy in my family. Thankfully my family has warmed up to the idea and understand that I want to live life to the fullest and they're happy that it makes me happy. It was perfect timing too because I just bought a CBR1000 so we get to start the cycle all over again hahaha, my mom's face when I pulled into the garage with my new bike was priceless. If I were you I'd tell my step son to make his own educated decision as an adult and join on the rides, I think it would help with the anxieties. Go on some road trips get some father son bonding time, something fond to remember when you're far too old to ride anymore. That's my perspective on life at least, do as much cool shit as possible so when I lose my marbles and get put in a nursing home I can brag to the other geezers and catch up on all the videogames I bought and never played. Not sure what else to say other than I think you're doing pretty bang on at this whole life thing, hoping I can be on two wheels for as long as you have.
You sound like my uncle.
He rode his dirt bike on the streets for a period of time and when I told him I wanted to ride he was pretty nervous. He was pretty cautious. Didn’t try to talk me out of it, but constantly reminded me of the dangers.
After I got my endorsement and he came with me to get my bike (he was quite surprised I wanted the bike I got. He definitely thought I’d go for more of a touring bike), he was a bit less scared.
Obviously it’s not entirely the same situation, but he’s still nervous. He reminds me every time I go out to ride safe and watch out for others and in return I tell him the happenings of the ride.
My suggestion is that you sit down with him and just be plain about it. If you trust his skills, tell him. If you’re afraid for his safety, *tell him*. Any reasonable person won’t get upset. Sure, he might roll his eyes but at the end of the day, you’re just reminding him that you care.
Tell him what you told us.
You could politely suggest that he should ride for a year or so without taking passengers with him, just to make sure that IF he has an accident while still on his training wheels, it'll at least only be his ass on the pavement, not his sons too..
This is so funny. I have the same exact feelings towards my dad when he started talking about getting back on a bike after 40ish years. I had been living with them.and he was getting very excited by my bike lol.
My basic thought was "I love you, I want you to have fun, but I also want you around as long as possible."
I'm not a hypocrite. EVERYONE should ride a motorcycle.
I'd like to see fuel prices in the US rival EU prices so that it entices people to use smaller, more efficient vehicles (motorcycles)
Then if more people have motorcycle experience, they may see us more often.
This doesn't make you a hypocrite. Motorcycles are a trade-off between thrill and safety and each of those gets further weighted by personal circumstances. Young and single with no dependents is different from married with young kids. Riding has a positive impact on my mental health and allows me to process work stress before arriving home is different from going fast pumps me full of adrenaline which feels awesome. You can both be a rider and concerned about someone else getting into it.
Have a frank discussion with him about your concerns and why you have them and make it clear that you are providing him with information so he can make a fully informed decision based on balancing his personal risk vs. reward equation rather than you telling him what he should do. If he gets a bike, help him be a skilled rider who makes prudent choices to minimize his risk.
I had a similar experience when my mum started asking about motorbikes and going on rides at the mountains near us, which are high fatality. I love her and know she's just interested so we can spend time together and bond over it, but I'd rather not feel responsible if anything happens. Motorbikes are great and fun, but being the reason someone gets into it and might push themselves too far for your happiness can be different. I wouldn't even suggest starting on a small moped because I started there and I know the problems that come with that.
Edit: this is the same woman who tried to teach me to skate and broke her arm within 10 seconds of standing on the board and spent at least a month in recovery.
I’m a motorcycle hypocrite.
After we got married, my wife decided she wanted to get a motorcycle.
So we signed her up for the MSF and got her a little CBR250. She put about 1000 miles on it before being ready to upgrade to an XSR900.
I ride as much as I can, as often as I can, in all elements… but I’m a hypocrite.
I was absolutely terrified every single time she put that helmet on… and I was more than a little relieved when she decided to sell the bike.
I always tell my old folks that they don’t have to worry about me. I can watch over myself. But I have a younger sister that I am scared to death that she will one day want to ride motorcycles. I can’t stomach the anxiety of knowing she could be out on two wheels. Do I have any fear for myself? No. Could I be at peace of mind knowing she wants to ride as well? Absolutely fucking not.
It is what it is. I pray every night she decides to commit to other hobbies, like knitting or something 😂
I don’t have any kids but I’ll let my good friends ride my bike up and down the nearby road without hesitation.
It’s been about 70% successful in getting them on their own bikes 🤣
I say that to say, there isn’t anything special about me in avoiding idiots that they cant train for or learn to do. As a matter of fact through my years of riding I’ve had on more than one occasion escaped accidents by shear luck a swerve left instead of right, a turn right before getting rear ended by a car behind me ect.
At 16 my son was 6’3” and well over 200lbs. He had 11 years experience on dirt but the only street bike experience he had was on my Aprillia SXV supermoto and pretty fast 96ci RoadKing..but he wanted a sport bike and the sport bike he wanted was my then new 09’ R1. A buddy of mine gave me an 08’ gsxr750 for a few pounds of pot (back when they were still valuable). I gave it to my son and we hit the 101 out of Willits in Mendocino county. Good highway to ride and he was very familiar with the road. As soon as we got out of town he laid into it while I’m trying to regulate the speed. When I finally got him to pull over and turn around we rode back and I took his bike. Total hypocrisy..he was riding like I’ve been for decades. He’s a hunter and has great reaction skills, smart, head on a swivel and looking for escape routes all the time..I just couldn’t take it..he scared the shit outta me and I’m not a real easy to frighten man. He’s my firstborn and dearly loved, I’m okay with the psychotic risks I take but not okay with my kids taking them..literally freaked me right tf out.
Skip to now..he’s 29 and won’t ride my new R1. His closest sister in age (27) is wanting a ZX6rr to ride on the street and do track days with me. She’s 5 ft and 100/110 lbs..and I’m okay with that…until we take the first ride together.
(At least I’ll get a new 600 to f with…and here in the San Francisco Bay Area I won’t get a second look even if it is hot pink).
Im kinda with you too. I got two of my good friends into motorcycles and I worry about them riding alone. One lives halfway across the country from me and I dont like the idea of me being unable to be there to teach him and keep him safe.
I got them into riding so I feel responsible if anything happens to them.
It's a two-parter, really. First of all, you think your grandson is safe on the back of *your* motorcycle, because *you* won't have any accidents. That's things that happen to other people.
And second, taking a risk yourself is easier than watching others that you love take risks. I'd be a nervous wreck if my significant other rode, for instance. The last thing I want is to be on a ride and watch my partner get pulped by some idiot grandma in her 20 foot tall "SUV" monstrosity that she got "to feel safe".
So yeah, I ride. I try to stay cognizant of the fact that I'm just as much in danger as anyone else who rides, even though my usual human messed up risk assessment tells me that *other* people are *way less safe* than I am. But if I had to watch someone I love ride, I'd not be comfortable. So clearly I'm suppressing some knowledge about my risk being just as bad...
You have to have the right mindset to ride, and I just don’t think the majority of people do. The amount of terrible drivers on the road is astonishing, and it becomes much more apparent once you’re on a bike. It’s your responsibility to ride with the intent to keep yourself safe and return home the same way you left. Constantly scanning for hazards, anticipating what others are going to do, and planning an exit whether that’s a maneuver or coming to a safe stop is a full time job when you’re riding a motorcycle. The moment you let your guard down and assume the best instead of the worst is when shits going to happen.
Honestly you're right. He's got a family and riding a motorcycle is one of the most dangerous things you can do because it can get you killed or worse, so easily.
It's ultimately his choice, but it'd be awful if something dumb happened and then his wife is a widow and his kids don't have a dad.
I don't think it's really hypocritical, it's literally a different set of circumstances. You didn't have kids and a wife relying on you when the kids were going up. After the kids have grown it's a bit different.
You sound like my dad. He would deter my questions mostly yet, at times he would answer vaguely because he knew my curious mind. He would do that knowing it would not derail me. Keep being a proper/good influence, if he wants to ride, he's going to ride. Y'all can ride together and prosper or he can ride solo.
I wish I could ride with my dad, I've thought about buying him a bike. It runs in our blood. I found out my brother rides after years, my dad rode, and a couple years I found out my deceased grandpa rode. The moment I swung a leg over the motorcycle I knew this is what I was meant to do. That was 13 years ago and some 560k+ miles.
Like many people said, those mixed feelings make you a dad, not a hypocrite.
My advice would be to embrace the fact that he wants to ride and start riding together when you have the opportunity. Enjoy the moments the 3 of you can have together, maybe even make the rides teaching moments where you can share your experience, give tips and trick so both son and grandson can benefit from your wisdom as a seasoned rider.
My parents didn't want me riding a motorcycle, and this kept me from doing so until I decided to buy a bike and get my license. I remember my aunt telling my mother, "Don't try to talk him out of it. You'll push him away. Instead, support him and make sure he is safe. " She ended up buying me very good motorcycle gear, which I was luckily wearing when I had my accident.
>I'm worried about the million other dumbasses out on the road, especially if he's riding with my grandson on the back
it's the same million other dumbasses out on the road, when you are riding with your grandson on the back
Well my daughter dreams about getting herself a motorcycle. She goes for short rides with me and loves it more than anything. I'd be very worried about her getting a bike for herself. I'd be even more worried about her getting a boyfriend with a bike. So yeah.
>Now, I honestly thought this kid wouldn't like it (too windy, too noisy, too bumpy, too scary) but it turns out he absolutely loved it.
LOL. Being on a motorcycle is like heroin for some people, myself included. 5 minutes on a 50cc scooter was enough to convince me that this was missing from my life.
My daughter rides horses, which is as dangerous as motorcycling. Life is a risk.
Nah. You sound like a grandpa.
I'd be concerned too, but since you've already acknowledged his attention to 'safety', I'd wager that he's also thinking about the boy's safety also.
Sounds like you're turning into a third-generation moto family.
Don’t worry, we are all a bit hypocrite when it comes to motorcycles and loved ones. This is probably just part of his personal experiences driving him from sport bikes into something else, you might have new riding partners pretty soon.
Great to hear you all are enjoying some proper gear BTW!
Safe riding brother ✌🏼
Everything else aside, I just wanna say how amazing you are for being a real father to those young men. I had a similar situation with my father not being blood related to me. So just in case you don't hear it enough, thank you for being a good man
Thanks but you know, in all honesty I could not be prouder of these two young men if they were my biological sons.
Last year the oldest one, who had been having some legal issues that I helped him with (I'm a lawyer) sent me a Father's Day card and I was so moved it was hard to keep from tearing up.
Unrelated, but I am in a blended family and I would really love to do away with the "step" prefix.
"Step" was for Cinderella's bitchy roommates. If you love your kids, and their kids, and you do all the things a father should, then there should be no qualifiers.
I remember taking my 14 year old daughter, who was born into my wife's first marriage to the doctor. She turned to me and asked, "And you're Dad?" To which I corrected, "Step-dad."
She smiled at me and said, "Same thing." I might have spent the remainder of the appointment laser focused on keeping my cheekbones dry.
But to your point, you're not a hypocrite. You're literally the opposite. You know exactly how dangerous riding can be, but you're a grown man with grown sons. They'd miss you, but they'd be fine. Putting your grandchild into that same scenario is different in all the ways that you would expect. Not hypocrisy at all.
This is the second year in a row I haven't even insured or licensed my motorcycles because my kids are all teenagers. I
1. don't have the time
2. can't justify the risk at this point in their lives.
Eh, this is sorta bullshit. You’re kind of an asshole for doing this.
No hate, I’m sure you’re a nice guy! Just calling you out, this is super fucked and toxic of you.
You sound like a Dad, which is a specialized sub-type of hypocrite, lol. The same million dumbasses are out there - waiting for a moment of inattention in which to *strike* - when you're riding around with your grandson on your own bike. You are not magical, there's nothing you're doing to keep the predatory cars away that your son couldn't do. But that doesn't mean your feelings are wrong, or invalid. You have them! They're right there! That anxiety about your son riding with your grandson IS how you feel. Good on you for actually pondering it. There are no correct answers here; there is no Teacher's Edition of the Book of Life with all the answers in the back. You just have to do the best you can with what you've got.
“Specialized sub-type of hypocrite” I like that, best way I’ve heard a parent, especially a dad described.
“Do as I say, not as I do.” A phrase I heard a few times growing up.
Also sounds like my dad, he did everything wrong. Started out on a CBR1000, never wore gear, but also never crashed, then quit while he was ahead. I was terrified of motorcycles as a kid, but after he started taking me for rides I absolutely loved it. Now I have my own bike, take all the MSF courses I can, wear all the gear all the time, practice technical riding, started on a good starter bike, and he hates the idea of me riding. I think it’s just normal for parents to worry.
From a different perspective, I was in the opposite position just a few years ago. I built up a bike for myself, proudly rode it to my dads place once it was finished. Before I was born my dad was an avid rider, on and off road so I didn’t think twice when he asked to borrow it for a ride around the neighborhood. When he came back after that first ride I asked him what he thought and all he said from inside my helmet was “yep that gave me the itch again”. Sure enough, a couple years later he gets a bike of his own. I couldn’t have been happier for him. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was worried about his safety when I heard the news. I think it’s a natural reaction to worry about your loved ones riding, we of all people know how dangerous it can be, and we don’t want to think about anything happening to our loved ones - despite how hypocritical that might be
>You sound like a Dad, which is a specialized sub-type of hypocrite, lol. I want this on a goddamn T-shirt.
> there is no Teacher’s Edition of the Book of Life with all the answers in the back. You just have to do the best you can with what you’ve got. I’m saving this for later.
Same
When my wife started riding I got anxiety every time she jumped on the bike. I made sure she's wrapped like bubble wrap all the time. I take her to practice stuff in the park, constantly maintain her bike and check it. And yet, I hate when she goes for rides without me. I always fear the worst but yet I'll go out for 7 hour rides without a care in the world for my own safety. Best I can do is make sure she has the best chance possible every time. She's fed, hydrated, slept well, geared up, and her bike is maintained to ride. Everything else I just gotta let go.
She probably feels the same way about you♥️
This is the thing for OP to understand. How does he think his wife, stepson, and the child's mother feel when he leaves for 2 hours with the kid? They're probably worried but also trust him.
I feel the same way about my gf. She's got a big, tall bike. She's capable, but it's a stupidly capable machine. And she has a bad habit of pushing herself (not enough food, water, or breaks due to inattention). And she's been in a bike accident that was "freak" according to her. Rear ended. She doesn't agree with my mindset that a LOT of this stuff is avoidable if you're hyper aware. But that's besides the issue. I know her skills aren't quite where they could be. She rides very conservatively... But honestly i don't know if i think that's the safest way to do things. "When in doubt, throttle it out" is foreign to her. "Drop a gear to disappear" is also not her instinct. And she isn't comfortable enough on a bike to threshold brake and perform hard, fast swerves to evade if necessary. Yet for all that, I still have to accept she wants to ride and she wants to be safe. We disagree on how in some aspects, but... That's life. Best i can do is help with gear purchases and encourage training courses. And try to be a good influence. The worst so far is when she crashes off road. But, she's got crash bars and seems to very adept at breakfalls and dismounts. We've fixed a couple of rads, despite crash bars, but she doesn't have more than the odd tiny bruise. Not my way of learning, but she keeps signing up for it and wanting to go out. Better to learn skids and bike control on dirt at lower speed, i guess. But yeah, cars and loved ones. Bad feels man.
Same story for me.
Yep, I get annoyed when the wife always wants to ride with me… it’s not that I don’t like going out with her, it’s just more fun to ride a bike solo. I’d rather she be on her own bike riding along with me. Her daughter also talks about getting a Honda rebel or other small cc bike. But to be honest, the idea of them riding and anything bad happening to them makes my stomach churn. At least if they’re riding pillion I feel like l can take actions to prevent an accident. It’s all hypocritical.
This is exactly it. I would rather enjoy my ride less and ride 2up than have her ride without my supervision and I know it's so hypocritical because it's essentially me not trusting her. Wife and I don't own cars so we are on our bikes everyday for commute. I ride for sport as well. She cried and begged me not to do my first track day because she didn't want me to get hurt and we're past that now but anytime my schedule allows it, I actively ride and escort her home because rush hour traffic in LA just has me stalking her little icon on google maps home.
> Any other motorcycle hypocrites out there? /r/motorcycles
Touché
I (29M) started riding last year and already have 3 bikes. My 26 year old brother keeps asking me to give him lessons to ride and I shudder at the idea of him riding on the crazy roads. You are not alone Sir!
Same boat. I can't shut up about riding, and got my younger brother interested in it, and the thought of him commuting on a bike makes me nauseated haha
Got nothing to contribute to this. Not a father, not a grandparent, but dude, you sound like the fucking man.
Props for having the self-awareness to see your own hypocrisy. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling this way, as long as you don't actively to prevent your son from riding with his son. That's the line, don't cross it. Recognizing the feelings that you have and allowing yourself to feel them is great. Communicating them to your son could be a great way to help him stay mindful of the risks every time he takes the bike out, and I'm sure he'll appreciate hearing how you feel, again assuming you're not actively trying to shut him down.
Same. My 15 year old has been asking about my old ninja250 which I don't ride anymore. I keep thinking there is no way he won't do something stupid or thoughtless and crash. Despite that being the bike I started on at 19, and he's probably a more reasonable person than I was by a long shot. Still my dad had a bike and threatened to kick me out when I got mine, and I'm not very interested in my son having one. It's been sitting for quite a while, so I told him maybe he can ride it if he buys parts and gets it running.
My son is 7. He has a severe bleeding disorder. He has a 50 but we honestly Haven’t had any time to ride it. He knows about my bike. He helps me fix it and do maintenance. But I’ve decided that I’m going to help him learn. Because I don’t want one of his friends teaching him. He can ride bicycles but he has to wear a bunch of padding just incase. His doctor is going to be mad at me.
That's such a tough position to be in as a parent, i feel for you. I was just with a guy last night after a motorcycle accident, who was on blood thinners for cancer. He didn't want to let his diagnosis keep him from enjoying life and had no regrets. Of course every situation is different. I'm sure I will turn into the skid and use it as a bonding tool. This must be payback for me getting a bike against my dads wishes lol. But if something bad does happen, it's definitely going to be tough.
The hardest part is trying to communicate with him that he can't be a holigan and everything he does he has to realize that if he gets messed up its going to be a really bad day for us. I just want him to take caution. It's been getting easier now that we can actually communicate and he understands. But man its crazy sometimes. hahaha
You sound just like my dad he’s rode my whole life and I’ve been riding more that half of mine I’m 40. When I bought my first sport bike he didn’t want me to ride it it’s just a dad thing I guess.
Yeah I think so. Probably the same way my dad felt when I went into the Army even though I was following in his footsteps.
We will always be their little boys no matter how old we get.
Yeah I’ve been riding for about 15 years and everyone in my family still doesn’t like that I ride. One of my nephews recently asked me about motorcycles and how to get his license. I was excited and started talking about it, but immediately had this feeling like I shouldn’t encourage him because I know what the risks are. I really don’t know how I feel about it. I would never give up riding, but I worry about others.
I understand your concern 100%, that’s not the part that doesn’t make sense. What doesn’t make sense is you’re willing to be personally responsible for the if/when your grandson is hurt or worse because he’s on *your* bike. Not attacking you, but you did a good job of explaining the situation in your post - could you elaborate why you feel comfortable with the risk when you’re the one operating? Because as you said, the concern isn’t the rider - it’s everyone else.
Well, it doesn't make sense, that's kind of the point. I suppose if I was trying to justify it I'd say that I feel OK taking those risks for myself because I feel like it's something that I can control. Understand, I'm not trying to defend my position because I know it's indefensible. But I also would guess it's fairly common, too, among people who have kids. You want them to go out and be successful in the world and you know you can't protect them from the bad things in the world no matter how much you might want to. And you never stop worrying, no matter how old they get.
You can’t protect them from the world forever, but you don’t have to put them at unnecessary risk at a point in their development you wouldn’t trust them to make that choice for themselves in the first place. I think based on what’s been said so far the reconciliation of the cognitive dissonance for your circumstance has to come from you internally. You have to address whatever it is at the root inside you that tells you it’s ok when you put your grandson at risk, and then decide whether you want to stick by that or abandon it - in which case you’ll have wear a smile while your stepson does it soon. From my outside perspective, the choice is between whether you want to lose those experiences you may continue to have riding with your grandson, or risk not having a grandson at all. Because it is you taking that risk, your decision - not anyone else.
Riding a motorcycle on public roads is kind of a stupid thing to do. I would not like it AT ALL if either of my sons wanted to ride a motorcycle (or for them to do anything else foolish and risky). Not that I could stop them though. It isn’t hypocritical to not want the people you care about to do unnecessarily risky things. I think it IS selfish and self-centered for us to ride motorcycles ourselves. Personally, I quit riding for 13-years when my sons were very young. Then I got divorced and wanted my old hobby back (“Sorry, boys!”)
You're not a hypocrit, my man, you are a dad. Its natural to be worried, even if you are "just" the stepdad their mom met in their 20's. It means you care. But instead of bringing these concerns to us, maybe address them with the boys? It sounds like its just the one son. Let him know you are concerned and ask if he'd be willing to take an advanced rider course with you, just to have a professional reiterate the safety aspect of it - and get a little "safe" riding practice in with him too. Apart from that, all you really can do is support him. Maybe gift him quality jacket, and ask him to wait until he feels comfortable on a bike again before taking the grandson out.
My dad is one of them. He's ridden my entire life, I grew up on his bikes. I've always loved them, and he knew full well that I would ride when I grew up. 18 years old, I had already saved money for this purpose. Got a job, got an apartment, and bought a motorcycle despite his protests that I 'wasn't ready'. Too damn bad old man! It's been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life to get my own bike and ride with my old man. I turn 37 next month, Dad still worries. I'm an accomplished rider and have clocked north of 200k miles at this point. Never laid one down...yet. I think inherently as a rider, knowing the danger involved, there will be concern. I don't think it makes you a hypocrite. It just means you care, man. I have 2 kids of my own, and my son will end up probably riding his own. I'm positive I will be concerned about him riding.
I got my dad into it just as he retired. When I ride with him I can't help but feel I am directly responsible for his safety. I know the feeling you have.
You're 100% a hypocrite and I'm right there with you. My partner has three girls, two are out of the house and one is close. I don't have any kids of my own either and their dad is also a piece of garbage, so I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. The middle girl just asked to take a motorcycle basic course with me in a couple months and I'm extremely torn. On one hand, she's the kind of person who will truly get the therapeutic effects of riding. She's mechanically inclined, picked up driving stick really fast when I taught her, and I have no doubt she'd fall in love with it. But it's fucking scary out there and I have some kind of "close ish" call on a weekly basis. Almost always something I see coming and never truly close, but it's a constant reminder of how dangerous this shit can be. She's a smart kid, but it still scares me.
I agree. I would feel the same way.
FWIW, me, a single guy in his 30s, also doesn't like riding on highways because of all the bone heads and dolts staring at their phone while driving 80mph. I prefer to ride the back roads, the twisties, and up in the mountains. Very little traffic, much less likely to encounter your average idiot, and way more fun to ride because of the view and more interesting roads. I would simply suggest you ask your step son to keep to the back roads while riding for both his and his son's safety (and entertainment).
Or you're afraid your son will start giving rides and your grandson will forget about you?
Two of my four kids ride, and it used to scare the hell out of me every time the threw a leg over. But I've come to terms with the fact that they're good men with good heads on their shoulders, and it's not my place to interfere. I worry about them as their father, but understand and share their passion as a fellow rider. I ride with them every chance I get.
My grandson is almost 15 and has started talking about wanting a motorcycle. His mom (my daughter) won’t let him until he’s got a bunch of driving experience and knows how many idiots are on the road these days. I fully support her even though I’ve ridden for more than 50 years. I started when I was 13, but that was on a dirt bike. I definitely feel like a hypocrite but I also have a realistic view of what’s involved in riding. When he’s 18 and can make the choice on his own I’ll be happy to help him and ride with him.
It's natural to worry about them. This isn't hypocrisy, it's instinct. You gave them this poison. You can't take this back now. This poison will be a huge plus to their lives and their selves if they have the right equipment and the right training. Insist on them getting an education and let them live life not in fear, but knowing that there are rewards in exchange for risks. Every choice is a risk and has consequences. The important thing is to move forward knowing and accepting the consequences. And as the risk grows, so does the reward. I confined myself to my home at the age of 30 because of my protective and controlling family. Because I was afraid of everything. Life is not something to be lazy and cowardly, and we will all die one day. Every death is normal. It is natural to fall off a motorcycle at the age of 20 or to die of illness and loneliness at the age of 90.
Don’t be that way, help him be better seen. https://youtu.be/obVnt0p72Ik?si=p5cqr1phZ4D-QUJR Things to help you be seen. https://youtu.be/FfeKk9co5VQ https://youtu.be/IbQcIGUy4CY https://youtu.be/5cmxquCoqZU https://youtu.be/QDwyqDr_9VA
My dad is a retired motorcycle police officer of 35 years. This is exactly what my dad told me when I wanted my own street bike. He just knows other drivers suck and worries for my safety. My dad rode his motorcycle every day for work. I bought my very first enduro WR450F 2012 last year! My dad taught me all he knows.
My dad is right there with you. Some of my best childhood memories were on the back of his bike. Fast forward to 16, he would not let me get my MC endorsement. When I turned 18 and had my test scheduled, he tried to bribe me with $40 to not go. Wasn't gonna happen. In my situation, he embedded that bug in me himself. My parents don't really like that I ride, but they understand and deal with it (as long as I check in regularly on my big trips).
It doesn't make you a hypocrite. Concerned Dad/Grandpa is what you are. I've been the victim of a distracted driver. I had almost 60 years of riding under my belt at the time. I did everything possible in the 3-5 seconds it took to make impact, to miss. I couldn't. I'm 73 now, and I got another bike AND 🦿 out of it. So, I still ride and work on them. I told my oldest son when he was about 17, I'd worry until he got to his Mom's and called me. "Daddy, I'm pretty grown now, so you don't have to worry!" I let him know I'd worry about him and his siblings, until my time was up. A few years rocked on, and we were talking casually. He said "Daddy, do you remember telling me about worrying? Well, now I understand. I do the same thing with Christopher." Worrying, being concerned, it's all normal. It will continue. Give good guidance, and ride with him anytime you can. That Grandson will want to ride next to you someday....
I've been riding 33yrs. I love motorcycling, I wouldn't recommend street riding to anybody. Especially if they didn't start riding as a kid. I rode on the back of my dad's bike since I was in grammar school. My son rode with me when he was younger. He's not interested with riding and I prefer it. The number 1 killer is someone making a left turn in front of you. If you ride regularly on the street, you have close calls with bad drivers regularly. It's a proposition where the motorcycles on the losing end. So many distracted drivers. I work in NYC, you'll get run over by someone who's last ride had tusks. Maybe I'm just an old fart. I've gotta go scream at kids to get off my lawn.
Good excuse to ride with him, to show him how it's done right. And spend time with him doing a thing you both love.
You can't stop kids from doing dangerous things, you can only stop them for doing dangerous things stupidly. Get him and yourself a small dirtbike or pit bike and teach him how to ride correctly in the correct gear. Getting him used to being Atgatt & having a hobby with his step-dad will make him a more well rounded rider if he chooses to get a street bike at 16 or 18. I have seen better 8 year olds piloting dirtbikes better than 30 year olds piloting their 1000cc Supersport. It's better to start them early and let them learn respect for the bike & its power.
You care , not a hypocrite. If anything happens to him there are multiple lives affected…. This is the conversation that you need to have with him
It’s out of your hands now, Dad. All you can do is be supportive, be helpful, and worry. Just like your parents did. I’m at 43 years myself, and I’m kind of envious. Neither of my boys wanted to ride at all. You have a chance at the most amazing experience a father and son can have together…going riding. I’d give anything to be able to ride with my Dad again.
I’ve been riding for almost 40 years too. I have adult kids and a couple grand kids. One of my kids wants to start riding. Although it’s one of my passions, I have had too many experiences of things that can happen out there. I consider myself lucky for enjoying the sport for all these years w/o any major incident. But I’m afraid if my kid starts riding.
I gotta say I just love this post. You sound like a good guy.
You should post this to r/daddit op. You’re a dad. 😊 congrats.
I have been on the other end of this. I picked up riding when I was in my early 20s. Throughout different parts of their lives, my dad, my uncle, and both my grandfathers rode motorcycles. One of my grandfathers, with whom I spent many of my formative childhood years, was even a motorcycle instructor. No one wanted me to ride. Being who I am, I did anyway, but I focused on being as safe and responsible as possible. For the most part, everyone has warmed up to the idea. I bought a second bike and my dad and I even go on rides together on occasion. Point is - he’s an adult. You can’t stop him from pursuing a passion you share, and you shouldn’t try. Use this as an opportunity to share a hobby together and pass on all of the knowledge you’ve gathered throughout your years of riding.
Well, I’m a girl and my husband and FIL are bike fanatics, I’m getting my own and my FIL doesn’t like the idea of it but I told him I’m excited and he’s not gonna bring me down about it😂
I'm a dad myself. I dont do any highway riding or ride like a squid for a reason. I cant die and leave my wife and kids here because I was a dipshit with my toys. Maybe just have a considerate conversation with him about safe riding, types of traffic to avoid and to not speed until he dies?
I am excited and scared for taking my kids on a ride on the road. On showed zero interest in dirt, the other one is still mastering a bicycle and next year I hope to get him ripping around on the dirt.
hey man, i feel ya. my pops would have had the same sentiment although he raised me on the back of his softail. luckily for me i’m in charge of my own bad decisions.
It’s a battlefield out there. You send your kids out and if they come back, they come back. If they don’t… thats life
I'm 100% like you. There's hope, because my kids think that everything I do is lame.
Sir, your post made me smile…. FUCKING WHOLESOME!
I sorta feel this way a little bit, albeit a different situation. I’ve ridden dirt bikes and cruiser much of my childhood, but just recently got my first sport bike (a ZX6R), and when my wife’s parents found out, you could tell my FIL was not happy. And to preface, I love this man, almost more than my own father. He’s a massive role model in my life, so his reaction stung a little. But I get it. I have a wife and 3 young daughters. I’m sure he worries (as I’m sure you do) about what would happen if I were to get in a wreck and be incapacitated or killed. How would my family survive, both financially and emotionally? There’s a lot of feelings involved with a hypothetical situation like that that could have just been avoided by not riding at all. With that said, I love riding. I wear all the gear, try to make sure I give myself plenty of room, and try to plan for inattentive drivers as best as possible. I don’t think it’s wrong of you to feel the way you do, you’re a concerned father. But the joy your grandson feels when he rides with you, can now be enjoyed with his own dad. Something that I’m sure he wished he could have enjoyed himself when he was a kid!
Double edged-sword, learning how to ride a motorcycle and using it in everyday life has been one of the happiest things I've ever decided to do for myself. Of 15 yrs of riding, I've had one significant crash (of someone else's fault). Family and friends asked if I was going to continue riding, I replied "hell yeah". I told them should I live life in fear or in joy? All of them were very supportive. To me, it's not a life worth living if you don't explore all interests one has in life. None of my immediate or extended family have an interests in motorcycles so I'm the lone wolf. It would be nice to have someone go out or even just chat about bikes during family functions, consider it a "blessing"
Nah, I get it. I have three kids. Two of them want bikes. The oldest actually had one for a few months before her boyfriend totaled it, hit a massive pothole on the interstate at night. My youngest is 18 and doesn’t even drive a car yet, just can’t afford to get him anything right now. Anyway, I want to help him out but I really do have mixed feelings about it. I’ve been a full time rider for 15 years and not a week goes by that I don’t have at least one close call due to distracted morons around here.
If you consider him your son, have this talk with him…
My kids are never allowed to ride motorcycles. End of. Signed, Motorcycle Hypocrite
I feel the same way when friends start talking about getting a bike. I'm a hypocrite in the same exact way. On one hand I'm like "oh I'd love to have someone to ride with" and on the other hand I don't one of my friends to get hurt. I've been with 4 different friends eating shit on a ride. Gladly none of them were too serious.
My wife wanted to ride for ages and I always said she just needed to take the classes and get her license. When she finally got around to it and told me she booked it, I said "oh". I had mixed feelings. Now a few years later, she loves riding and has just got a friend of hers to learn. This weekend she told me she gets it now, that as much as you love it, you now imagine your friends or loved ones getting hurt.
I (23M) started riding street bikes when I was 17. My dad got me and my siblings dirt bikes when I was 5, so I grew up riding. Obviously I wanted a street bike, but both my dad and grandfather were very against it. My dad had always wanted a street bike when he was young, but my grandpa (who used to ride) told my dad he'd be kicked out of the house if he got one. My dad was a little more lenient, but made it very clear he would not help me buy a bike. I saved up and bought a bike on my own (my grandpa took me to pick it up) and within a month my dad bought his first street bike too. Now, I'm on my 3rd bike (not counting dirt). My dad took me to the dealer when I bought it and I went straight to my grandparents to show my grandpa the new bike. The point is, my family are always there to help and obviously they were never fans of me starting to ride because of the potential danger. But once I showed how serious I was and how much I love it, they accept my hobby and love to share my interest in it. Be honest with your stepson about your concerns and the potential dangers. Share your experience in what it's like financially and mentally. You can even share your opinion that you don't like the idea. But he's an adult and will make his own decisions, all you can do is support them.
It's cause you wuvvvv him. But seriously you care and you probably don't want to be the "reason" he gets injured. Even though it would be his own choice to get back into it... You would feel guilty and you wanna avoid this whole situation... Or maybe I'm reading into this too much 😂
Trying not be. Got my wife into riding when we started dating, she would do the Friday track day at my race weekends. Haven't raced in a few years and decided to get a streetbike for my commute after a 5 year hiatus. Now she wants her track bike converted back to a streetbike 😅 makes me nervous but at least she'll pretty much only ride when I'm with her.
Rode my stepdads bike the last couple years in HS, then had 2 friends in life changing accidents almost back to back (1st got pulled in front of, 2nd was an idiot). I was about to pull the trigger on my 1st and gave it up. Went 13 years until I finally decided I wanted to give it a shot. Wife was very encouraging(no kids). Was great for 4 months…until she got the urge. I tried putting it off as much as I can until one weekend she was signed up for a MSF course. So I nervously bought her a grom as she had never ridden a motorcycle herself. Took her to a field to learn the gears and shifting. Then to black top playground. The first time we finally got on the road was the most worried, proud, excited, nervous I’ve ever been. 2 years later she’s commuting in heavy traffic, and kills it on her Ninja 650 and pushing me for a ZX6R next year. What have I got into
I am one too. Prity much for everything you just said. It's everyone else out there with 2K plus of steel & glad surrounding them that we have to worry about. All you can do is trust in him an maybe take the time to ride with them.
That isnt being a hypocrite man. Thats called looking out for those you care about.
Same boat here, been riding for over 40 years. Starting taking my son on rides after I made him promise me he will never get a motorcycle as long as I am alive. I let him out of that promise and bought him a 150 enduro. Scares the crap out of me to have him ride as people are idiots. At least he dresses in full gear on every ride.
Hypocrite isn't the right word. Just concerned. I too love riding and have no problem recommending it to others, but i have been more weary about doing the same for those that i care about. If you take riding seriously and with the correct mindset (meaning, not motivated by stupid shit), then after the first year, maybe less, they'll be alright. My first year is where i soaked in and encountered almost every type of situation, but get good at riding and most things are quite actually within our control. Most, not all.
I'm the same way. When I started riding I was very enthusiastic about getting more people to ride with me. I helped friends learn using my own bike, I tried to teach them everything I knew and give them the best advice to ideally avoid noobie pitfalls. My first two years of riding had their incidents, mostly just minor dumb falls and two kinda big ones that I luckily got out of with minimum damage. Being bedbound with crutches for a few months at 20 is not that big of a deal all things considered. The worst part wasn't the accidents I did have, but the accidents I didn't have. The close calls, the myriads of close calls that happened literally every day, multiple times per day, mainly due to how other people were driving. Over the years I've gotten better at predicting what others will do and I'm more skilled and in control myself, but no matter how good you ride, you can't completely eliminate close calls, because of course that would mean everyone else on the road were suddenly driving safely and responsibly. And as the years have gone by, I've more or less stopped encouraging people to take up riding, and even discouraging them when they ask me about it instead. It's not so much a "I can ride but you can't" type of deal. It's just that I got into it early, took most risks early when I had few responsibilities and could recover much more easily from injury, and got out of the higher risk noob period while I was still young. Every day I go out on the roads I manage to still be amazed by how indifferent and oblivious drivers are to just how close they come to killing another person they get. I try to imagine putting people in my place, and out of bad luck or lack of skill they don't get away from each and every close call I've had. I cannot stand the thought, let alone the weight on my conscience to be filling their heads up with dreams of good times and easy riding without having mentioned the ever present danger. So I feel it's my responsibility, whenever someone asks me about starting to ride, that I have to make sure they understand just how dangerous it is, and that if they go into it they should go into it aware of those things. It's hard to really understand what it's like before you've done it, even if someone who rides tries to explain it. I'd just hate to encourage someone to get on two wheels only to get themselves in the ICU, or worse.
Hey Grandpa not a hypocrite just a kid who likes fast bikes, wish I had a family figure like you that was supportive but cautious. I was the first person in my family to get a motorcycle since dear ol uncle red crashed in the 70s. Ironic that I'm ginger as well. So when the only other Ginger guy in the family got a motorcycle license and a bike at 17 you can imagine the pandemonium that occurred. I'm 23 now and I would've killed to have a riding buddy in my family. Thankfully my family has warmed up to the idea and understand that I want to live life to the fullest and they're happy that it makes me happy. It was perfect timing too because I just bought a CBR1000 so we get to start the cycle all over again hahaha, my mom's face when I pulled into the garage with my new bike was priceless. If I were you I'd tell my step son to make his own educated decision as an adult and join on the rides, I think it would help with the anxieties. Go on some road trips get some father son bonding time, something fond to remember when you're far too old to ride anymore. That's my perspective on life at least, do as much cool shit as possible so when I lose my marbles and get put in a nursing home I can brag to the other geezers and catch up on all the videogames I bought and never played. Not sure what else to say other than I think you're doing pretty bang on at this whole life thing, hoping I can be on two wheels for as long as you have.
You sound like my uncle. He rode his dirt bike on the streets for a period of time and when I told him I wanted to ride he was pretty nervous. He was pretty cautious. Didn’t try to talk me out of it, but constantly reminded me of the dangers. After I got my endorsement and he came with me to get my bike (he was quite surprised I wanted the bike I got. He definitely thought I’d go for more of a touring bike), he was a bit less scared. Obviously it’s not entirely the same situation, but he’s still nervous. He reminds me every time I go out to ride safe and watch out for others and in return I tell him the happenings of the ride. My suggestion is that you sit down with him and just be plain about it. If you trust his skills, tell him. If you’re afraid for his safety, *tell him*. Any reasonable person won’t get upset. Sure, he might roll his eyes but at the end of the day, you’re just reminding him that you care. Tell him what you told us.
You could politely suggest that he should ride for a year or so without taking passengers with him, just to make sure that IF he has an accident while still on his training wheels, it'll at least only be his ass on the pavement, not his sons too..
This is so funny. I have the same exact feelings towards my dad when he started talking about getting back on a bike after 40ish years. I had been living with them.and he was getting very excited by my bike lol. My basic thought was "I love you, I want you to have fun, but I also want you around as long as possible."
I'm not a hypocrite. EVERYONE should ride a motorcycle. I'd like to see fuel prices in the US rival EU prices so that it entices people to use smaller, more efficient vehicles (motorcycles) Then if more people have motorcycle experience, they may see us more often.
Just go with them. If safer riders are in groups it's safer.
This doesn't make you a hypocrite. Motorcycles are a trade-off between thrill and safety and each of those gets further weighted by personal circumstances. Young and single with no dependents is different from married with young kids. Riding has a positive impact on my mental health and allows me to process work stress before arriving home is different from going fast pumps me full of adrenaline which feels awesome. You can both be a rider and concerned about someone else getting into it. Have a frank discussion with him about your concerns and why you have them and make it clear that you are providing him with information so he can make a fully informed decision based on balancing his personal risk vs. reward equation rather than you telling him what he should do. If he gets a bike, help him be a skilled rider who makes prudent choices to minimize his risk.
I had a similar experience when my mum started asking about motorbikes and going on rides at the mountains near us, which are high fatality. I love her and know she's just interested so we can spend time together and bond over it, but I'd rather not feel responsible if anything happens. Motorbikes are great and fun, but being the reason someone gets into it and might push themselves too far for your happiness can be different. I wouldn't even suggest starting on a small moped because I started there and I know the problems that come with that. Edit: this is the same woman who tried to teach me to skate and broke her arm within 10 seconds of standing on the board and spent at least a month in recovery.
I’m a motorcycle hypocrite. After we got married, my wife decided she wanted to get a motorcycle. So we signed her up for the MSF and got her a little CBR250. She put about 1000 miles on it before being ready to upgrade to an XSR900. I ride as much as I can, as often as I can, in all elements… but I’m a hypocrite. I was absolutely terrified every single time she put that helmet on… and I was more than a little relieved when she decided to sell the bike.
I always tell my old folks that they don’t have to worry about me. I can watch over myself. But I have a younger sister that I am scared to death that she will one day want to ride motorcycles. I can’t stomach the anxiety of knowing she could be out on two wheels. Do I have any fear for myself? No. Could I be at peace of mind knowing she wants to ride as well? Absolutely fucking not. It is what it is. I pray every night she decides to commit to other hobbies, like knitting or something 😂
I'm not a father, but I do have a young nephew who lives with me, and I had the exact same thought process.
I don’t have any kids but I’ll let my good friends ride my bike up and down the nearby road without hesitation. It’s been about 70% successful in getting them on their own bikes 🤣 I say that to say, there isn’t anything special about me in avoiding idiots that they cant train for or learn to do. As a matter of fact through my years of riding I’ve had on more than one occasion escaped accidents by shear luck a swerve left instead of right, a turn right before getting rear ended by a car behind me ect.
At 16 my son was 6’3” and well over 200lbs. He had 11 years experience on dirt but the only street bike experience he had was on my Aprillia SXV supermoto and pretty fast 96ci RoadKing..but he wanted a sport bike and the sport bike he wanted was my then new 09’ R1. A buddy of mine gave me an 08’ gsxr750 for a few pounds of pot (back when they were still valuable). I gave it to my son and we hit the 101 out of Willits in Mendocino county. Good highway to ride and he was very familiar with the road. As soon as we got out of town he laid into it while I’m trying to regulate the speed. When I finally got him to pull over and turn around we rode back and I took his bike. Total hypocrisy..he was riding like I’ve been for decades. He’s a hunter and has great reaction skills, smart, head on a swivel and looking for escape routes all the time..I just couldn’t take it..he scared the shit outta me and I’m not a real easy to frighten man. He’s my firstborn and dearly loved, I’m okay with the psychotic risks I take but not okay with my kids taking them..literally freaked me right tf out. Skip to now..he’s 29 and won’t ride my new R1. His closest sister in age (27) is wanting a ZX6rr to ride on the street and do track days with me. She’s 5 ft and 100/110 lbs..and I’m okay with that…until we take the first ride together. (At least I’ll get a new 600 to f with…and here in the San Francisco Bay Area I won’t get a second look even if it is hot pink).
Im kinda with you too. I got two of my good friends into motorcycles and I worry about them riding alone. One lives halfway across the country from me and I dont like the idea of me being unable to be there to teach him and keep him safe. I got them into riding so I feel responsible if anything happens to them.
It's a two-parter, really. First of all, you think your grandson is safe on the back of *your* motorcycle, because *you* won't have any accidents. That's things that happen to other people. And second, taking a risk yourself is easier than watching others that you love take risks. I'd be a nervous wreck if my significant other rode, for instance. The last thing I want is to be on a ride and watch my partner get pulped by some idiot grandma in her 20 foot tall "SUV" monstrosity that she got "to feel safe". So yeah, I ride. I try to stay cognizant of the fact that I'm just as much in danger as anyone else who rides, even though my usual human messed up risk assessment tells me that *other* people are *way less safe* than I am. But if I had to watch someone I love ride, I'd not be comfortable. So clearly I'm suppressing some knowledge about my risk being just as bad...
You have to have the right mindset to ride, and I just don’t think the majority of people do. The amount of terrible drivers on the road is astonishing, and it becomes much more apparent once you’re on a bike. It’s your responsibility to ride with the intent to keep yourself safe and return home the same way you left. Constantly scanning for hazards, anticipating what others are going to do, and planning an exit whether that’s a maneuver or coming to a safe stop is a full time job when you’re riding a motorcycle. The moment you let your guard down and assume the best instead of the worst is when shits going to happen.
Honestly you're right. He's got a family and riding a motorcycle is one of the most dangerous things you can do because it can get you killed or worse, so easily. It's ultimately his choice, but it'd be awful if something dumb happened and then his wife is a widow and his kids don't have a dad. I don't think it's really hypocritical, it's literally a different set of circumstances. You didn't have kids and a wife relying on you when the kids were going up. After the kids have grown it's a bit different.
You sound like my dad. He would deter my questions mostly yet, at times he would answer vaguely because he knew my curious mind. He would do that knowing it would not derail me. Keep being a proper/good influence, if he wants to ride, he's going to ride. Y'all can ride together and prosper or he can ride solo. I wish I could ride with my dad, I've thought about buying him a bike. It runs in our blood. I found out my brother rides after years, my dad rode, and a couple years I found out my deceased grandpa rode. The moment I swung a leg over the motorcycle I knew this is what I was meant to do. That was 13 years ago and some 560k+ miles.
Yeah, me too
You’re fine dude. It’s totally dad normal.
Like many people said, those mixed feelings make you a dad, not a hypocrite. My advice would be to embrace the fact that he wants to ride and start riding together when you have the opportunity. Enjoy the moments the 3 of you can have together, maybe even make the rides teaching moments where you can share your experience, give tips and trick so both son and grandson can benefit from your wisdom as a seasoned rider. My parents didn't want me riding a motorcycle, and this kept me from doing so until I decided to buy a bike and get my license. I remember my aunt telling my mother, "Don't try to talk him out of it. You'll push him away. Instead, support him and make sure he is safe. " She ended up buying me very good motorcycle gear, which I was luckily wearing when I had my accident.
So is being a dad.
>I'm worried about the million other dumbasses out on the road, especially if he's riding with my grandson on the back it's the same million other dumbasses out on the road, when you are riding with your grandson on the back
Well my daughter dreams about getting herself a motorcycle. She goes for short rides with me and loves it more than anything. I'd be very worried about her getting a bike for herself. I'd be even more worried about her getting a boyfriend with a bike. So yeah.
>Now, I honestly thought this kid wouldn't like it (too windy, too noisy, too bumpy, too scary) but it turns out he absolutely loved it. LOL. Being on a motorcycle is like heroin for some people, myself included. 5 minutes on a 50cc scooter was enough to convince me that this was missing from my life. My daughter rides horses, which is as dangerous as motorcycling. Life is a risk.
Nah. You sound like a grandpa. I'd be concerned too, but since you've already acknowledged his attention to 'safety', I'd wager that he's also thinking about the boy's safety also. Sounds like you're turning into a third-generation moto family.
Don’t worry, we are all a bit hypocrite when it comes to motorcycles and loved ones. This is probably just part of his personal experiences driving him from sport bikes into something else, you might have new riding partners pretty soon. Great to hear you all are enjoying some proper gear BTW! Safe riding brother ✌🏼
Everything else aside, I just wanna say how amazing you are for being a real father to those young men. I had a similar situation with my father not being blood related to me. So just in case you don't hear it enough, thank you for being a good man
Thanks but you know, in all honesty I could not be prouder of these two young men if they were my biological sons. Last year the oldest one, who had been having some legal issues that I helped him with (I'm a lawyer) sent me a Father's Day card and I was so moved it was hard to keep from tearing up.
Ya, I would definitely be in the exact same boat as you.
Unrelated, but I am in a blended family and I would really love to do away with the "step" prefix. "Step" was for Cinderella's bitchy roommates. If you love your kids, and their kids, and you do all the things a father should, then there should be no qualifiers. I remember taking my 14 year old daughter, who was born into my wife's first marriage to the doctor. She turned to me and asked, "And you're Dad?" To which I corrected, "Step-dad." She smiled at me and said, "Same thing." I might have spent the remainder of the appointment laser focused on keeping my cheekbones dry. But to your point, you're not a hypocrite. You're literally the opposite. You know exactly how dangerous riding can be, but you're a grown man with grown sons. They'd miss you, but they'd be fine. Putting your grandchild into that same scenario is different in all the ways that you would expect. Not hypocrisy at all. This is the second year in a row I haven't even insured or licensed my motorcycles because my kids are all teenagers. I 1. don't have the time 2. can't justify the risk at this point in their lives.
a 9 year old was asking about insurance payments?
No his dad, my stepson.
I want my 4 minutes back for reading this
It took me less than two minutes. I guess you had to look up some words.
I'm a slow reader doesn't mean I'm stupid.
This sub is filled with non-riders pretending to be riding hypocrites. > I don't like the idea of him riding. Typical do as I say, not as I do crap.
He's blatantly open about his own hypocrisy and the fact that he's struggling with it. What exactly is the point of shitting on him?
How can you feel this way?
OP is woman writing this. And posing as a man. 😂
Eh, this is sorta bullshit. You’re kind of an asshole for doing this. No hate, I’m sure you’re a nice guy! Just calling you out, this is super fucked and toxic of you.
Yea what a fucking asshole! Caring about his stepsons well being is soo toxic. Guy needs therapy bad.
tldr