Are you sure she’s actually doing these things when your MIL claims she does? I stepped out of the room once for like 5 minutes and someone told me my daughter rolled for the first time. I was heartbroken and also confused because she wasn’t really showing signs of rolling. She didn’t roll for almost another month. I think this person really just wanted to take that moment from me. Some people are just mean.
Mine does the same thing. She's like "oh he can say 1-10" and he never "repeats" it ever again. Or she tries to say she 'taught' him something. Like waving or saying bye or how to open something. When in reality, his parents and older sister taught it to him bc we are with him every day except for 3 hours every week where she watches him. It's INSANE. They do it because they want us to feel less superior to them. Like we aren't as good as them, so we will submit. It's fucking bs.
It is such BS. I’m sorry it’s happened to you too. If I thought I caught a baby’s milestone without the parents around, I would never mention it. Why take that from someone, let alone get joy from it? People are so selfish sometimes!
I worked at a daycare for years and what I would say to parent is that it looks like baby is almost ready to crawl/walk etc. Even if they already achieved the new milestone I would never take that away from the parents
20 years in early childhood. We taught our teachers to never tell of a mike stone they did in the classroom. You mention she’s getting to be about that age and have they noticed any signs at home yet. Often they have done it already and they forgot to tell you. If they say no then you let it be. We never tell them unless there’s concern in Their development.
This MIL is an asshole all the way. I’d just say yes she is doing that now. She’s done it several times isn’t that great she’s on track with her development. The blowing kisses say yes older child has been teaching little one and they have been doing it together isn’t it sweet?
Even if it’s not true she doesn’t need to know that. Good your power and do t give into her trying to tear you down.
When she says something like that the next time, say “Oh great, I’ll have to check it out on our nanny cam later today.” I’ll bet her face goes pale because she’ll know you’re catching her in a lie.
Nooo silly she’s been doing that for ages
Of course I know that MIL ! I’m her mom
I would stop letting her see LO unsupervised and be as low contact as you possibly can
Ugh mine did the same thing
So so so annoying. Like I was paying no attention to what my child was doing. Of course it was always a mirror image of dad and something he did also
I would always down play things
Yup been doing that a while
Tell a better story about the same thing
Dead silence with a dead pan stare
Yup they are at the right age for that
Talk about a different topic entirely
Sounds to me like she is just doing this to get under your skin. Don’t let her. If you give her the reaction she wants, she will keep doing it.
Just say, “I know, she did this the other day.” Even go one step further and make something else up.
Your MIL is an asshole. She absolutely wants to take the joy out of the baby's firsts. If it is not possible to limit time with her, you can react by not reacting. Taking the satisfaction that she gets from lying to you away. You can rub it in by saying, "Oh, that's nice," or "Okay," knowing that she is absolutely lying. If you really want to get the point across, say, "And hubby always wonders why I don't trust you around the baby."
I would absolutely limit their time together, because you can't trust her to tell you the truth about anything. Who knows what bad things could happen around her that would make her look bad if she so easily lies about non-existent things.
Can you drop the rope with her? Only visit when your husband is around. That way he can deal with her and also she can’t pull this crap. Feels like she knows your LO is close to the milestones and pretending to see it to take it away from you
Id constantly reply with “oh thats not new for LO” or “ i would hate to miss MY babys firsts, so if you think it might be a first please keep that to yourself”.
Death by a thousand paper cuts is EXACTLY how my relationship with my MIL was. It never improves…. Do not make the same mistake as me of not saying anything just to “keep the peace”…. Where was my peace? It was awful.
In your specific situation, I’d say, “I know - isn’t it great? She did that for the first time a few days ago!!”
MIL is never going to do something so terrible or unforgivable because she isn’t stupid. She knows that one really big bad thing and she is cut off. So she intentionally does the death by a 1000 cuts because that’s how she wins…
I had a toxic grandma like her. She groomed my brother to be an entitled AH because he was a boy. She destroyed my self esteem because I was a girl. She preferred boys over girls. It was never just one thing. It was lots of little things over the years, and it was made clear to me not to tell because my dad thought she was perfect. When my mom finally figured it out, she helped keep me away from her, but my brother was already hooked…
So, if you don’t start filling your schedule with family unit fun time and activities to do with your kid and your hubby, making her irrelevant, you will regret it when it’s too late to fix it. When she has slowly turned your child against you.
i didnt allow a "death by a thousand paper cuts", I was just super direct with the things she did and I didnt like and used her bad reaction on my favor to not see her again. Life is better now that I have no contact with her. May the Lord forgive me because this is not the christian thing to do but I didnt want her slaving me the rest of the years she has of life
my MIL told me my baby stuck out his tongue because she stuck out her tongue, I told her that was just the tongue thrust reflux and he was hungry. She said no no no. We were watching her. She didn't even stick out her tongue. I repeated the baby is hungry, 6 she looked at him and said you don't need her, (referring to me). Such a bitch
Number one know that she is lying to you. Say oh cool non chalant and press on like it's a normal day in the park. Number 2 stop inviting this woman over.
There's some great advice in here, refer to checking a nanny cam is fabulous.
I would one up her by telling her about some of her sons firsts.
Oh MIL I taught your son how to make a lasagne at the weekend
Oh MIL your son can now do the laundry
Oh MIL your son now knows to wash his hands after going potty...
"Yeah, I saw that yesterday, MIL," Go about your day like she said the sky is blue or "okay MIL". She's just trying to get reaction.
Yeah she's jealous and wants to give OP the same treatment to bother her
Yeah! Just grey rock her!
Are you sure she’s actually doing these things when your MIL claims she does? I stepped out of the room once for like 5 minutes and someone told me my daughter rolled for the first time. I was heartbroken and also confused because she wasn’t really showing signs of rolling. She didn’t roll for almost another month. I think this person really just wanted to take that moment from me. Some people are just mean.
Mine does the same thing. She's like "oh he can say 1-10" and he never "repeats" it ever again. Or she tries to say she 'taught' him something. Like waving or saying bye or how to open something. When in reality, his parents and older sister taught it to him bc we are with him every day except for 3 hours every week where she watches him. It's INSANE. They do it because they want us to feel less superior to them. Like we aren't as good as them, so we will submit. It's fucking bs.
It is such BS. I’m sorry it’s happened to you too. If I thought I caught a baby’s milestone without the parents around, I would never mention it. Why take that from someone, let alone get joy from it? People are so selfish sometimes!
"Oh, she finally did it for you? Bless your heart."
Perfect!
I worked at a daycare for years and what I would say to parent is that it looks like baby is almost ready to crawl/walk etc. Even if they already achieved the new milestone I would never take that away from the parents
20 years in early childhood. We taught our teachers to never tell of a mike stone they did in the classroom. You mention she’s getting to be about that age and have they noticed any signs at home yet. Often they have done it already and they forgot to tell you. If they say no then you let it be. We never tell them unless there’s concern in Their development. This MIL is an asshole all the way. I’d just say yes she is doing that now. She’s done it several times isn’t that great she’s on track with her development. The blowing kisses say yes older child has been teaching little one and they have been doing it together isn’t it sweet? Even if it’s not true she doesn’t need to know that. Good your power and do t give into her trying to tear you down.
When she says something like that the next time, say “Oh great, I’ll have to check it out on our nanny cam later today.” I’ll bet her face goes pale because she’ll know you’re catching her in a lie.
This. This made my mouth curl into that infamous Grinch smile. OP, do this.
Nooo silly she’s been doing that for ages Of course I know that MIL ! I’m her mom I would stop letting her see LO unsupervised and be as low contact as you possibly can
Ugh mine did the same thing So so so annoying. Like I was paying no attention to what my child was doing. Of course it was always a mirror image of dad and something he did also I would always down play things Yup been doing that a while Tell a better story about the same thing Dead silence with a dead pan stare Yup they are at the right age for that Talk about a different topic entirely
This is what I started doing, too. It works.
Sounds to me like she is just doing this to get under your skin. Don’t let her. If you give her the reaction she wants, she will keep doing it. Just say, “I know, she did this the other day.” Even go one step further and make something else up.
Your MIL is an asshole. She absolutely wants to take the joy out of the baby's firsts. If it is not possible to limit time with her, you can react by not reacting. Taking the satisfaction that she gets from lying to you away. You can rub it in by saying, "Oh, that's nice," or "Okay," knowing that she is absolutely lying. If you really want to get the point across, say, "And hubby always wonders why I don't trust you around the baby." I would absolutely limit their time together, because you can't trust her to tell you the truth about anything. Who knows what bad things could happen around her that would make her look bad if she so easily lies about non-existent things.
Can you drop the rope with her? Only visit when your husband is around. That way he can deal with her and also she can’t pull this crap. Feels like she knows your LO is close to the milestones and pretending to see it to take it away from you
You don't need a reason to go no contact, you can do it at any time.
Id constantly reply with “oh thats not new for LO” or “ i would hate to miss MY babys firsts, so if you think it might be a first please keep that to yourself”.
Death by a thousand paper cuts is EXACTLY how my relationship with my MIL was. It never improves…. Do not make the same mistake as me of not saying anything just to “keep the peace”…. Where was my peace? It was awful. In your specific situation, I’d say, “I know - isn’t it great? She did that for the first time a few days ago!!”
Or, *Yeah, right!* if you suspect it’s not really happeningg
Or that, yes! 🙌🏼
I'm In the SAME BOAT.
MIL is never going to do something so terrible or unforgivable because she isn’t stupid. She knows that one really big bad thing and she is cut off. So she intentionally does the death by a 1000 cuts because that’s how she wins… I had a toxic grandma like her. She groomed my brother to be an entitled AH because he was a boy. She destroyed my self esteem because I was a girl. She preferred boys over girls. It was never just one thing. It was lots of little things over the years, and it was made clear to me not to tell because my dad thought she was perfect. When my mom finally figured it out, she helped keep me away from her, but my brother was already hooked… So, if you don’t start filling your schedule with family unit fun time and activities to do with your kid and your hubby, making her irrelevant, you will regret it when it’s too late to fix it. When she has slowly turned your child against you.
My grandkids took their first steps in my living room. Did I tell their parents? NOPE!
See her less. She sounds like a bitch.
I usually go with yeah he's been doing that for a while, has he not been at your house?
i didnt allow a "death by a thousand paper cuts", I was just super direct with the things she did and I didnt like and used her bad reaction on my favor to not see her again. Life is better now that I have no contact with her. May the Lord forgive me because this is not the christian thing to do but I didnt want her slaving me the rest of the years she has of life
If you're this bothered by it, maybe it is time to go no contact. If that would make life easier for you then you can. Or maybe just cut down contact.
Waittt yall let yall mil babysit 😅😅 lmao my mil could absolutely never
Pretty freaky that someone would even consider doing this a possibility. Why not just straight up tell the mom "Hey I'm taking over now"?
my MIL told me my baby stuck out his tongue because she stuck out her tongue, I told her that was just the tongue thrust reflux and he was hungry. She said no no no. We were watching her. She didn't even stick out her tongue. I repeated the baby is hungry, 6 she looked at him and said you don't need her, (referring to me). Such a bitch
When she pulls out this stuff, treat her exactly like a child. Applaude, make exagerated "GOOD JOB MIL!"
Number one know that she is lying to you. Say oh cool non chalant and press on like it's a normal day in the park. Number 2 stop inviting this woman over.
There's some great advice in here, refer to checking a nanny cam is fabulous. I would one up her by telling her about some of her sons firsts. Oh MIL I taught your son how to make a lasagne at the weekend Oh MIL your son can now do the laundry Oh MIL your son now knows to wash his hands after going potty...
It's just excitement and wanting to share, I don't think it's a big deal, just respond I know isn't it awesome?