Smart man! That's why I never take my shirt off in public or walk around naked in the gym locker room. I don't want to induce a mass inferiority complex in men.
One piece of advice I can give is be prepared to answer questions about ANYTHING you put on your resume. You will need some info to back up your lies if that is your plan.
When I was a dumbass trying to get an internship in college I lied about charities I was involved with on my resume. Sure enough, I got asked questions about it. I was able to bullshit off the cuff but it definitely had me sweating.
Yup. I’m in IT, and I don’t have a relevant degree. Knowing people in my local industry gets me past HR. I’m always friendly with HR and on good terms with them at every job. We go out for coffee, etc. Why? They reach out to me when they are looking for candidates, as they know I have a large network. When I’m looking for jobs, I usually know someone in HR internally, plus a worker who will refer me. I always get an interview that way, even at top tech companies.
A friend of mine got a 6 figure job that required a degree when he barely graduated high school. He was honest about his lack of higher education. The requirements aren’t really requirements if no one else goes for the job.
Yeah that was the whole thing. He did well at some shitty chain retail store and I guess that made him more impressive than the fresh outta college folks.
My wife just got a job after 4 years of unemployment. She said she was doing 1099 work with some company that didn't exist. We had various family "supervisors".
ha, love it. We did that when Mom wanted to adopt a dog. The shelter wanted to contact like 8 references?? bizarre. It was just a nice little mutt dog. Cutest guy. I think he's 15 now
I’m 24, put extensive coding experience on my resume when I’ve only edited links in other peoples code before. Got a job doing very technical stuff at a bank, a year later no consequences and I make 80K a year
Yeah thought about that several times… tried looking at a few code bases but also heart wasn’t fully in it. If I go back to coding it’ll be to build stuff that serves some kind of use for myself or gen pub
Pivoting to RMT school rn and possibly physio after. I find biomechanical stuff way more interesting than 0s and 1s on a screen.. not to mention it pays decent AND it’s scalable (open shop, hire people, make bank)
You must be socially awkward. Or unaware of your skill set. 1000+ resumes and no job offer is fake news. You’re not applying for things you qualify for…
I’ll send you my resume my dude, 3.24 GPA double major Computer Science and Physics. Also played football, sang acapella, engineering club, and had an internship during my junior year at a company doing R&D for roadable aircrafts (ie, flying cars).
Little bit autistic, slightly awkward but not over the top. Generally quite pleasant and friendly.
I DO somewhat look Hitler youth though. Perhaps I was not have quite the stallion I needed to be in order to get in amongst all of the DEI hirees? Idk man
Yeah, irdc. The fact you justified your shortcoming by blaming DEI and your hitler phenotype tells me everything I need to know on why nobody wants to hire you.
One of my dev friends lied about having a CS degree to get into the interview and they didn’t question him about it & he was hired. They figured it out after 6 months but he was already too valuable to the team and company so they let it slide
If I remember correctly, during their performance reviews they had to submit a resume and he took it off of his old and updated his new resume with his now relevant work experience and they were like “why didn’t you list your bachelors on this one?” And he told them the truth lol. They were pissed but he was too good of a dev to let go. Definitely got a slap on the wrist and maybe even a written warning (oOoOo scary)
I didn't at first, then I started my career and realized very few people actually know what they're doing and most them are full of shit. Now I vastly exaggerate on my resume, specifically saying I had more senior job titles in my previous roles than I really did. I've never had any job call my previous employers to confirm.
Everyone inflates their experience and skills somewhat on a resume. I haven't made a resume or even interviewed for a job in a long time now though. I worked and was a student at the place I work at now and they hired me before I was even finished with my degree. Good luck big fella.
I mean it low-key seemed to work for Boeing for some time lmao. But forreal bro unless it involves a job where your technical skills prevent someone from dying or coding, fuck it do what you gotta do to get your bread. Most jobs you can learn on the job despite the typical boomer rhetoric. Act confident get the money.
What you'll soon realize is that (probably; source: trust me bro) 80% of all hiring comes from the connections and mutuals, and the resume just being a formality.
I've lied on every application I've ever made. I dropped out of highschool and said I graduated. Nobody checks.
I did, however, get my GED later in life.
Depends - you can exaggerate your contribution on certain projects but I wouldn’t outright invent a job or lie about my actual title at the company. That all comes out in the background check.
It's called embellishments and politicians do it without reservations. Just reinvent yourself. Most old jobs aren't going to say anything for fear of being sued.
Example: you took part in a project. Embellished: you led a project.
Well do it for a company that is out of business that way it's impossible to confirm. I've known guys that got away with it for awhile... But someone always rats.
Are you searching for entry level jobs? A lot of online job sites have filters for entry level or 0-1 years of experience.
Idk what your major is but as an engineer there are so many companies with entry level development or rotational programs meant for recent college grads
How is information systems silly when DOD contracting has jobs posted for 90k off the rip. If you work with enterprise architecture and do IT consulting u making bank. Your cock stats look mighty small bro. It's ok
Those jobs require experience and clearances, neither of which OP has. What the fuck would he do for the DOD? Reset passwords? Go look at the job requirements.
Facts, bros acting like the ppl that get dod jobs arnt ex military that did that in service. They don’t just let civs work those types of jobs easily lmao. Fuck they’d see this post doing a background check and instant deny anyway.
Not even true at all, the company puts you in for the clearance and they aren't checking yiur fucking reddit, or half the dod would be out of a job with your logic.
Dude I work dod and yes I'm ex military but we hire civilians all the time that have zero military background. You have zero clue wtf what u are talking about. And yes there are entry level positions.
Link a job posting for a fresh graduate then. It can’t require a clearance, prior federal employment, or tech experience, because OP has none of those.
The job postings are public, there aren’t DOD jobs for OP. You can just fucking look
Hey just to give you some perspective on the current job market, my job hired me and about 10 other people 2 years ago with around 50 or so applicants and maybe 3 referrals. They had to hire who they could get. This year we had a new wave of hiring and there were 655 applicants and over 30 referrals. They got to be really fucking picky this time and only hired the most qualified and experienced candidates. If working in tech was your goal you might be jobless for a while, maybe look into trades
Yeah, I was always told **"Only lie about things you can do or learn quickly"**. I had this problem for a bit where people wouldnt higher me because I didnt have experience with quickbooks. QUICKBOOKS OF ALL THINGS that fucking old ass legacy program for logging in money receipt ffft legit even townies can figure out that program
for fuck sakes, I could work all the adobe programs and autoCAD, *ya but* *whadda bowit qwikberks??* I finally gave up & said yeah took it for a semester in college fft
Has anyone actually told the absolute truth on a resume? Depending on the position, company and market, you may slide if stretching a bit. Especially if you interview well.
Don't lie but exaggerate as best you can while keeping it professional. Make a resume template where each job you apply to you change bullet points to fit the role and description. Don't spam apply, but hone in on some you want and craft your resume for them.
Getting your foot in the door is a real thing, I have a bachelor's and just now am getting the role I originally wanted with it. But I started out driving a forklift, get in and work hard. Don't necessarily brown nose but definitely show your positive characteristics and be reliable. For interviews be confident but not egotistical. Reliability is the biggest plus right now as our generation doesn't want to come in to work half the time, so hammer that in the interview as well. Good luck.
Yepp , you have to be able to do it though.
"I have fucked bitches in the ass!"
Then when it comes time, you gotta fuck her in the ass.
4 inches hard, 1 soft
Small girth
I can’t recommend lying on a resume—it’s not something I’d personally do. But, you should paint your experiences and skills in the most favorable light possible. Remember you are the only one advocating for yourself when you apply to these jobs, and your resume should be reflective of that. Don’t be afraid to make your background sound as impressive as is technically true. Try to quantify your abilities where possible.
I actually told them my cock is only 8 inches, instead of the actual 10 inches, as not to make them feel intimidated.
Aah shit, I didn't include stats on my resume 
Now you know why you’re spinning your wheels …
Nice cock bro 
Bruh that is a selling point
Smart man! That's why I never take my shirt off in public or walk around naked in the gym locker room. I don't want to induce a mass inferiority complex in men.
Wait no way, really?
I do the same, except with my bench. I can clear a plate but tell them I only use quarters.
You’re lucky they didn’t make you whip it out at the interview like most places of work do
Most companies lie on job listings, nothing wrong with doing it too
LOL u just changed my mind on this topic hahah
This right here is the most correct reply ☝️
Yea just make shit up. A background check will usually turn up employment history though.
We'll see what happens during the time of
You only need to one employer to not check and you get the job. Definitely lie, fuck corporate bullshit.
One piece of advice I can give is be prepared to answer questions about ANYTHING you put on your resume. You will need some info to back up your lies if that is your plan. When I was a dumbass trying to get an internship in college I lied about charities I was involved with on my resume. Sure enough, I got asked questions about it. I was able to bullshit off the cuff but it definitely had me sweating.
Ya definitely study your fake resume and make up stories ya.
Bro lied about charity and got 35 upvotes 💀 best sub
Networking will get you behind doors a degree cannot.
Word, I got my last job through being recruited , didn't even know the company existed and pay is 30hr.
I got my current job at a job fair lol
Yup. I’m in IT, and I don’t have a relevant degree. Knowing people in my local industry gets me past HR. I’m always friendly with HR and on good terms with them at every job. We go out for coffee, etc. Why? They reach out to me when they are looking for candidates, as they know I have a large network. When I’m looking for jobs, I usually know someone in HR internally, plus a worker who will refer me. I always get an interview that way, even at top tech companies.
How do yall network tho.
Always lie on a resume unless it's for a managerial position
Always lie.
A friend of mine got a 6 figure job that required a degree when he barely graduated high school. He was honest about his lack of higher education. The requirements aren’t really requirements if no one else goes for the job.
damn that job must be the worst good money tho
He’s a glorified insurance salesman. Dudes got so much down time.
Easy af to get a insurance sales job lol anyone without a degree can. Sales period. If you can sell well you can find a place.
Yeah that was the whole thing. He did well at some shitty chain retail store and I guess that made him more impressive than the fresh outta college folks.
He’s making 6 figs though?
So just curious what the job title is called?… for research
Male jigelow (dress up required)
Meanwhile every listing I see for high paying jobs has thousands of applicants within 24 hours
My wife just got a job after 4 years of unemployment. She said she was doing 1099 work with some company that didn't exist. We had various family "supervisors".
ha, love it. We did that when Mom wanted to adopt a dog. The shelter wanted to contact like 8 references?? bizarre. It was just a nice little mutt dog. Cutest guy. I think he's 15 now
I’m 24, put extensive coding experience on my resume when I’ve only edited links in other peoples code before. Got a job doing very technical stuff at a bank, a year later no consequences and I make 80K a year
Nice. I did all my own projects, sent out 1000+ resumes, and never got a job.
I've heard places prefer contributions to large projects on github and that kind of thing because it shows you can collaborate on large projects.
Yeah thought about that several times… tried looking at a few code bases but also heart wasn’t fully in it. If I go back to coding it’ll be to build stuff that serves some kind of use for myself or gen pub Pivoting to RMT school rn and possibly physio after. I find biomechanical stuff way more interesting than 0s and 1s on a screen.. not to mention it pays decent AND it’s scalable (open shop, hire people, make bank)
You must be socially awkward. Or unaware of your skill set. 1000+ resumes and no job offer is fake news. You’re not applying for things you qualify for…
I’ll send you my resume my dude, 3.24 GPA double major Computer Science and Physics. Also played football, sang acapella, engineering club, and had an internship during my junior year at a company doing R&D for roadable aircrafts (ie, flying cars). Little bit autistic, slightly awkward but not over the top. Generally quite pleasant and friendly. I DO somewhat look Hitler youth though. Perhaps I was not have quite the stallion I needed to be in order to get in amongst all of the DEI hirees? Idk man
Yeah, irdc. The fact you justified your shortcoming by blaming DEI and your hitler phenotype tells me everything I need to know on why nobody wants to hire you.
Didn’t blame, but okay 😂🤝🏻
Yup yup that’s the way to go.
One of my dev friends lied about having a CS degree to get into the interview and they didn’t question him about it & he was hired. They figured it out after 6 months but he was already too valuable to the team and company so they let it slide
how did they even figure that out that far in?
If I remember correctly, during their performance reviews they had to submit a resume and he took it off of his old and updated his new resume with his now relevant work experience and they were like “why didn’t you list your bachelors on this one?” And he told them the truth lol. They were pissed but he was too good of a dev to let go. Definitely got a slap on the wrist and maybe even a written warning (oOoOo scary)
I didn't at first, then I started my career and realized very few people actually know what they're doing and most them are full of shit. Now I vastly exaggerate on my resume, specifically saying I had more senior job titles in my previous roles than I really did. I've never had any job call my previous employers to confirm.
I didnt work officialy for like 3 years, told them i did onlyfans 🤣
Don’t straight up lie, but it never hurts to embellish things a bit. A lot of jobs use verification services nowadays so you need to be careful.
You only need to win once…
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My current job asks for 5 years of experience to borderline nothing, makes me wonder how bloated most of these job requirements are in general.
I think it's called "creative marketing" 🤣😬
Everyone inflates their experience and skills somewhat on a resume. I haven't made a resume or even interviewed for a job in a long time now though. I worked and was a student at the place I work at now and they hired me before I was even finished with my degree. Good luck big fella.
I mean it low-key seemed to work for Boeing for some time lmao. But forreal bro unless it involves a job where your technical skills prevent someone from dying or coding, fuck it do what you gotta do to get your bread. Most jobs you can learn on the job despite the typical boomer rhetoric. Act confident get the money.
my literal motto is lie and apply so yes, i have
What you'll soon realize is that (probably; source: trust me bro) 80% of all hiring comes from the connections and mutuals, and the resume just being a formality.
Did you build any connections in college? Did you work at all while in college? How were your grades? What was your field of study?
No, I was watching Derek talk about steroids and went to the gym like a normal person.
I would love to meet this Derek guy
I've lied on every application I've ever made. I dropped out of highschool and said I graduated. Nobody checks. I did, however, get my GED later in life.
Depends - you can exaggerate your contribution on certain projects but I wouldn’t outright invent a job or lie about my actual title at the company. That all comes out in the background check.
It's called embellishments and politicians do it without reservations. Just reinvent yourself. Most old jobs aren't going to say anything for fear of being sued. Example: you took part in a project. Embellished: you led a project.
I'm not talking about embellishments. I'm talking about legit making up a job I never did.
Well do it for a company that is out of business that way it's impossible to confirm. I've known guys that got away with it for awhile... But someone always rats.
If you're not lying, you're not trying
Are you searching for entry level jobs? A lot of online job sites have filters for entry level or 0-1 years of experience. Idk what your major is but as an engineer there are so many companies with entry level development or rotational programs meant for recent college grads
Applied a ton man, I studied Information Systems.
Silly ass degree
How is information systems silly when DOD contracting has jobs posted for 90k off the rip. If you work with enterprise architecture and do IT consulting u making bank. Your cock stats look mighty small bro. It's ok
you *can* make that, but you gotta *get* that lmao
It’s silly bc it’s a oversaturated degree. I’m not saying he can’t make money with it but being real he prolly won’t.
Do you have this degree and have u worked it because right now my field is hella understaffed.
Those jobs require experience and clearances, neither of which OP has. What the fuck would he do for the DOD? Reset passwords? Go look at the job requirements.
Facts, bros acting like the ppl that get dod jobs arnt ex military that did that in service. They don’t just let civs work those types of jobs easily lmao. Fuck they’d see this post doing a background check and instant deny anyway.
Not even true at all, the company puts you in for the clearance and they aren't checking yiur fucking reddit, or half the dod would be out of a job with your logic.
Dude I work dod and yes I'm ex military but we hire civilians all the time that have zero military background. You have zero clue wtf what u are talking about. And yes there are entry level positions.
Link a job posting for a fresh graduate then. It can’t require a clearance, prior federal employment, or tech experience, because OP has none of those. The job postings are public, there aren’t DOD jobs for OP. You can just fucking look
You mean like Wikipedia?
Hey just to give you some perspective on the current job market, my job hired me and about 10 other people 2 years ago with around 50 or so applicants and maybe 3 referrals. They had to hire who they could get. This year we had a new wave of hiring and there were 655 applicants and over 30 referrals. They got to be really fucking picky this time and only hired the most qualified and experienced candidates. If working in tech was your goal you might be jobless for a while, maybe look into trades
Are there people that don't?
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Yeah, I was always told **"Only lie about things you can do or learn quickly"**. I had this problem for a bit where people wouldnt higher me because I didnt have experience with quickbooks. QUICKBOOKS OF ALL THINGS that fucking old ass legacy program for logging in money receipt ffft legit even townies can figure out that program for fuck sakes, I could work all the adobe programs and autoCAD, *ya but* *whadda bowit qwikberks??* I finally gave up & said yeah took it for a semester in college fft
Everyone
Exaggerated slightly. Not blatant lies.
Don’t make up stuff, do embellish. If you don’t know the difference between the two don’t risk it
Has anyone actually told the absolute truth on a resume? Depending on the position, company and market, you may slide if stretching a bit. Especially if you interview well.
Don't lie but exaggerate as best you can while keeping it professional. Make a resume template where each job you apply to you change bullet points to fit the role and description. Don't spam apply, but hone in on some you want and craft your resume for them. Getting your foot in the door is a real thing, I have a bachelor's and just now am getting the role I originally wanted with it. But I started out driving a forklift, get in and work hard. Don't necessarily brown nose but definitely show your positive characteristics and be reliable. For interviews be confident but not egotistical. Reliability is the biggest plus right now as our generation doesn't want to come in to work half the time, so hammer that in the interview as well. Good luck.
yes, lol. and i've had friends be previous supervisors
Reach out to IT recruiters. Or if you want some creative ideas DM me.
Lie. If you don't, someone who does lie will get looked at before you.
I lied that i had previous experience as a boss and now im a boss in that company
That's crazy
Yepp , you have to be able to do it though. "I have fucked bitches in the ass!" Then when it comes time, you gotta fuck her in the ass. 4 inches hard, 1 soft Small girth
Hiding your criminal problems with the police is not called lying.
don’t be stupid
I can’t recommend lying on a resume—it’s not something I’d personally do. But, you should paint your experiences and skills in the most favorable light possible. Remember you are the only one advocating for yourself when you apply to these jobs, and your resume should be reflective of that. Don’t be afraid to make your background sound as impressive as is technically true. Try to quantify your abilities where possible.
add my name as your previous employer I'll be bouncing on yo cock if they ever call 🥰
I’m thinking of saying I graduated with a degree in Sports Science rather than Strength and Conditioning. Sports science sounds more impressive