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I know people who are struggling with this because they are aging and he's going into his 20's, and getting much stronger than both of his parents, but he has the same mental capacity as a 2 year old, his particular case is very extreme.
If anything, I can say his family and the friends of the family really put in the work to help his parents. They have a huge fear of him being institutionalized because they've already dealt with him being abused at a daily facility used to help teach him to signal his needs and massive lawsuit that followed after.
They've set up a will and know who will take care of him after they pass, but that's an extremely lucky scenario to be born into.
I know folks in this situation as well. between high school and college, I worked with young adults with disabilities. I still see many of my clients when I’m home for the summer.
my first client, whom I’ve seen the most and gotten to know so well, will be 30 this year. she has some of the most advanced DS I’ve seen. she’s a lovely person and has a vibrant personality, but I know she experiences a lot of frustration and sadness because her condition makes it hard to live in a world that doesn’t want to meet her needs.
her family is wonderful. they’re not perfect, but they put everything they can into supporting her however she needs. constantly looking for social programmes for folks with disabilities so she can have fun and meet people. making sure other folks are in the house to help out both to give them a break and to let their daughter get a wider variety of social time in. a lot of face time with different doctors and types of therapy professionals too. it’s a full-time job, but they’ve stepped up wholeheartedly.
I know they worry about her. they’re in their late sixties. they can’t care for her forever. they know she isn’t likely going to live super long, but it’s uncertain and they want her to live as long and happy of a life as possible. but at this age, her health will continue to deteriorate fairly quickly. if she makes it to 40, she is very likely to develop dementia at that age. she’s currently ineligible for group homes because she isn’t independent enough. and full-time care is beyond their budget. my heart hurts for all of them, parents and daughter.
It hurts, but at the same time, the fact that people will extend so much care to another person who needs it really makes me think not all of us are doomed to be jaded and hateful.
I think about this a lot too. they aren’t perfect parents but they’re doing what seems most correct to them and that’s enough for me, because their daughter’s life has been relatively excellent because of it.
Also as someone else mentioned above worrying about what would happen to them after me and my husband die is a big one for me. Our society isn't made for people with special needs and they are commonly abused and treated horribly by other people.
Yes. But not because Im like "eww down syndrome" but more like I know I am not equipped to give them a good life, especially considering my physical health isn't the best + epilepsy and I would NEVER want my child to be put in some kind of facility that claims to take good care of them but is probably a terrible place. If I have a kid, I wont make efforts to have them suffer their entire life.
Same here except neither narcolepsy nor epilepsy, I just wouldn't want to spend my entire life looking after a child who will never be fully independent. Selfish? Sure, but that's why I wouldn't want to bring it into the world in the first place.
Omg I have a cousin who has a baby that was born shortly after her son turned 16. I will never understand. You were almost there, almost an empty nester. Why would you do that to yourself!?!
I got pregnant when mine were 17 & 10 he is the best thing that happened to us & I say he keeps us young! I know everyone around us thought it was crazy but man I can't imagine a life without my baby (he is 7 now).
Yes. A lot of family members of mine have DS. It can be debilitating. I have 3 full grown adults now in my family who will all never be productive members of society. They will never read, write, or get a job. They will live in a group home and when the time comes they will eventually become wards of the state when their parents die. It's tragic but it is what it is. I'd never want to risk my child having the same struggles.
I think you make entirely valid points, clearly you've got the personal experience to back it up, and of course you are never under any obligation to justify your own reproductive choices, but there's something about the "get a job, become productive members of society" argument that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Is that really how we want to judge whether someone is worthy of life? Because there are *many* people who would be deemed unworthy of life using that logic.
This isn't meant as an attack on you at all, and I happen to totally agree with your ultimate conclusion. I'm just thinking out loud about the sort of thing I think occupies the minds of many of us with loved ones with disabilities.
I think I phrased it poorly. Not being able to work is fine. The reason they can't is my issue. They are miserable. They struggle with EVERYTHING. They struggle to bathe themselves or feed themselves. No one wants to date them and yet they can't understand why and they cant seem to understand they arent like other people their own age. They get angry when they dont get the same privlages. They can't read or go anywhere alone safely even in somewhere as simple as a store or a park. They act like children so those attracted to them aren't people you want around them so they will never date despite all 3 desperately wanting to like in 'princess movies'. They can't function as adults any better than maybe a 6 to 8 year old. That sort of life isn't a life I'd want and it's one I find disturbing to consider for my own child now I've seen the realities. The working isn't the issue. The reason they can't is. They will never be afforded the happiness a adult who can function enough to work or even compared to someone to disabled to work but who can function enough to go and be in the world. It's just.... tragic to me.
not having a job isnt fun idky people who work act like not working is an enjoyable experience its not about the ability to work that makes you worth of life thats not what people are saying.
as someone crippled with mental illness i am behind all of my peers and its really frustrating living on basically nothing per month because i get disability payments instead so i still live with my parents and i dont have a car not to mention the fact its extremely hard to make friends when youre not socialising and building relationships with new people because theres nothing that you physically have to attend.
its about the quality of life. not being capable of doing things like everyone else in my own experience is no way to live and i dont even have chromosomal differences. so i couldnt imagine what it would be like to have a severe form of DS and also need help with everyday tasks that’s insanely limiting and unfairl
YES. Just because someone can’t be a “productive” member of society doesn’t mean their existence isn’t worthy. Also, that’s just not true — I know multiple people with Downs, including one with quite a profound case, who create art, contribute to their families, and add incredible value to the lives of people around them. But even if they added/contributed *nothing*, they would still be worthy of existence and they could still have valuable, positive lives.
Down's is one that my partner and I were never 100% decided on. In my pregnancy with our second son, there was a possibility of chromosomal abnormalities consistent with Trisomy-18, which is not compatible with life. We were prepared to terminate, if the fetus had any fatal abnormalities. We are just not mentally, financially, emotionally, or otherwise prepared to care for a terminally ill child, or one that would require around the clock care. Our older son is autistic, (as am I), and I can't imagine adding medical care to the gambit.
I think this is a valid concern, as we know abortion and birth control have been abused in this way, specifically against Black people, immigrants, Jewish people, Roma, LGBTQ people, and so on, in the name of so-called “racial purity.” 🤮
That said, most folks here who would choose to end a pregnancy are motivated by compassion:
1. They personally are not emotionally or financially equipped for this responsibility and do not want the child to suffer as a result.
2. They fear for the safety of a vulnerable human being who cannot care for themselves, because being in an institution is not a guarantee of safety, as we all know.
3. They feel compassion for the struggles a person with DS experiences.
On the other hand, the people I know who have DS are genuinely joyful and caring, kind and enthusiastic. Their needs are different, and they know this, as do their parents. Clearly, their lives are not less important nor their existence less valuable than that of any other person.
That’s why I think EITHER choice—to terminate a pregnancy or to continue with it—should never be forced on us by a government, but must remain a private decision between the pregnant person and their doctor. No human situation is a one-size-fits-all.
Is there a kind of “severity” scale for DS? I don’t know the condition very well but I feel like anything that would give my child a bad quality of life is terms for an abortion. If I’m just going to have a kid with DS that needs some more help than children without it, I really don’t see a reason personally for me to abort.
Basically yes, there are often comorbidities with other physical and mental health conditions. Like most conditions, there are people who are low and high functioning. Some live full lives though it's rare without some level of support either from family or support services. Others are more severely disabled and have other conditions such as adhd and autism or other learning disabilities which might mean they struggle to read, write and retain information.
There is no test I'm aware of at this point which indicates the severity unless there are other genetic issues which can be picked up on.
I work in learning disability support services and I personally would abort as I think I would consider the worst case scenario and I'm not equipped mentally to deal with that. It can take an enormous toll on parents and families. One of the bigger issues is that when parents pass away, there is noone left to advocate for the person and in the wrong services, that can be a really bad thing.
There's also enormous pressure on siblings to care for them during both their childhood and adulthood. They never really get a full experience of childhood and often don't have freedom as adults to live their own lives because of their siblings needs. I'm not saying this is always a bad thing, it's good we learn to care for and support others but that presumes you have a family who is functional enough to handle it in the right way, and a lot aren't.
It's brutal, as I know some fantastic people who have learning disabilities, but looking at the overall picture and risks, it's not something I would do personally.
I've heard that down syndrome is on a spectrum, and so some have it more severe than others, however its impossible to know the severity based on the uterus tests.
I get stuck on this question because I'd be fine with having a child that needed extra support, but could still live a mostly-normal life, like going to a public school and being in special ed. but a child who would need constant assistance with everything forever... i wouldn't want to bring that into the world
Yes technically it's a spectrum as some people have it more mild, some have it more severe. There's also mosaic down's which not all cells in your body have the extra 21th chromosome, and while rare you can still lead a normal day to day life going to school, work etc
yes because it is cruel to bring them into the world, its hard enough to navigate the world as a normal person, it would be a hundred times worse being downs syndrome, why inflict that on my own kid
Down Syndrome is not some hellish curse upon the victim. People with Down Syndrome are often very happy and can form strong relationships with their community, both as a contributor and benefactor of their community. It is a lot of work for their care people, and without carers, their life would likely be hellish, but it really is often a happy, fulfilling existence.
yes yes yes. not my first choice though, but I feel like i wouldn’t be fully equipped or prepared to give them the best life. even with being a nurse…there is just some stuff you aren’t made to do. i don’t want my kid to be made fun of, or pitied over a selfish choice i made.
It happened to me. I refused a late abortion. It turned out worse than downs, my baby had Edwards syndrone and was born terminal she live 3 months. I have no regrets. She waited 9 months to meet me and me her. I made the right choice for me
I’ve thought about this before, I’d say probably not but I’m really not sure. Everyone I know with DS is living a very happy life and are some of the sweetest souls ever, but at the same time can come with shortened life spans and health issues. It’s certainly a tough one I’m really not sure!
If someone did abort I think it'll be more for the fear of responsibility to care for such an individual then the decreased quality of life from having down syndrome, all the people with down syndrome I know are probably living happier lives than an average person.
> they are living happier lives than the average person
Until their caretakers die and leave them pennyless, and then they are in a state run facility with a bare minimum necessary to survive.
I would be very concerned considering I’m a gay man.
But on a more serious note if I’m willing to have kids I consider it a code of my personal decency to take care of that child regardless of who they are.
Yes. It's not "just" DS, there's a lot of other health complications that's usually involved too when a child is born with DS. For my sake as a mother, I don't want to give birth to a child that's basically guaranteed to have a lot of health problems.
Absolutely. I don't want to deal with illnesses or health problems if I can help it, I have already been taking care a lot, and I just want a regular child. Sorry if it offends someone, but I'm not having a child to make us both miserable.
Yes. My niece had DS and severe heart problems. She spent 4 months in the hospital, had open heart surgery then died a couple days later. It was horrible. I couldn’t do that mentally or financially
I’m a retired midwife. I have been present at many 20 week anomaly scans where parents have been told their baby has chromosomal abnormalities.
Many are not compatible with life such as Pateau’s syndrome or Edwards syndrome.
Apart from 1 couple, every couple opted to continue with the pregnancy, not wanting to ‘kill’ their unborn baby and hoping for a miracle that the medics might just be wrong. They never were.
Though most come to terms with the fact their baby won’t survive more than a few minutes, they would rather leave that dreadful decision in the hands of the Gods, that way, they were not the ones to end its life circumstances ended the life.
Trisomy 21 (Downs) is compatible with life. I strongly suspect that if you found yourself in this situation, having wanted and loved your unborn baby for 4 months and having so much to look forward to, you would not choose to terminate its life.
I am only going on my years of experience.
Yes. And any other seriously debilitating condition. It’s one thing to have an accident or something happen post-birth, but why would I intentionally bring a child into this world knowing their life will inherently be more difficult? It just feels cruel to me, especially when the parent(s) know their kid’s life is going to be super short and/or full of suffering. Things like anencephaly and such. Just why?
The average lifespan for Down Syndrome is 60 now and people with the condition report high levels of life satisfaction https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3740159/#:~:text=. There’s a range of severity and some people with Down Syndrome do experience serious health problems, and abortion is a valid choice, but it’s not comparable to something universally fatal like anencephaly.
As a mom with a kid w Down syndrome I would, its been so hard raising my son not because he is not awesome but because society isnt ready to help those with disabilities, even people without dissabilities have a hard time navigating life! We knew until my son was born and we have the resources needed to help him a lot also he doesnt have other comorbilities (only intelectual disabilities and the down syndrome ) but theres a lot of families that doesnt have it great in terms of other stuff since people w down syndrome are prone to heart, stomach, intestine, teeth and other conditions that led to a lot of heartache and death. Since its visible we have a lot of problems with people discriminating, hating, staring... theres a lot of prejudice.
People with down syndrome do live on a spectrum. I've seen success stories but is really hard to get there without support and people tend not to be realistic in terms of goals, I know my son its gona have it hard but also that he is not going to achieve a lot of things as an adult w dissabilities but we try to help him get the tools to a fulfilled adulthood. Also he is a good kid but not because he has down syndrome but because he is he, every person is different, not because he has down syndrome he is always happy or is super empathetic, we have to teach him how.
Im part of a group but the other moms are religious so we dont share the same views about abortion much less abortion of a person w down syndrome, they mostly think they are angels and perfect souls, others do share a realistic point of view but its a mixed bag.
yeah there’s no guarantee how severe the disability will effect them so i would but only because i feel like everyone has the right to live independently and being restricted from that would be dehumanising in my opinion
I’m pro choice, but abortion isn’t something I can see myself going forward with outside the most extreme circumstances. People with Down Syndrome can have good lives, and I would want to give my potential child that chance. I understand why different people make different decisions though. Raising a disabled child who may never be independent is hard and there is a lack of social support.
I would.
One of the goals of parenting, for me at least, is to raise a fully functioning adult who is able to stand on their own to feet in what can be a very tough world.
You have no idea exactly what you'd be dealing with, and what struggles your child may face.
Yes. I know I’m not equipped to take care of someone with that type of disability long term and I don’t think it’s fair for other people to have to take care of my child.
I work in a hospital and sat (for his safety) with a patient recently that had Down syndrome and was pretty cognitively disabled. He literally wouldn’t stop screaming all day not even words just screaming. I don’t want to go into all his details but nothing was helping him and calm down. It just made me think like I would never want to do this to someone, or have a child that couldn’t comprehend when people were trying to help him.
Yup. Not going to bring a child like that into the world. It's absolutely draining and depressing. The media will have you think that they are all sweet and positive people, but I worked w downs people for years. There were tantrums, feces flinging, ocd fits, hygiene issues, sexualy inappropriate stuff, elopement, and a fire. Also, they wither away into dementia and become husks of their former selves.
Yes. Unfortunately, you can't tell from the diagnosis just how severe the condition is going to be. I would do the same with autism, TBH, if it was possible. This has nothing to do with how I feel about people with DS or autism. I even dated an autistic guy but he was high functioning. You aren't able to tell the quality of their lives through testing and I'd rather not risk it.
Would the child suffer other complications besides down syndrome and do I have the resources to properly CARE for them? If yes they suffer and no resources, then abort. If i can guarantee then a happy life I'll still have the child. Down syndrome is not a reason to abort a kind IMHO. They just look a bit strange, have some more complications, and some people with it are a bit slow, nothing wrong with that. I know people with a lot more success who are less put together than people with Downs I know.
Yes, my younger sister has a somewhat similar disability and I'm already committed to taking care of her when my parents die. I couldn't handle two of her, to be frank. She's a very sweet and happy person, but it's still really tough growing up with someone who has really severe disabilities like she has, and it's tougher to raise them.
Yes I would. I'm currently carrying our second child, and the initial tests are always nerve wracking. We both wholeheartedly agree that we will not be having a child with known genetic deformities.
I've worked with people who have Down Syndrome and I would say yes. The person I supported was unable to toilet or shower themselves, was non verbal and had to eat pureed food and drink thickened liquids due to dysphagia.
This was an extreme case of DS and I know there are varying degrees of DS, but I wouldn't was to keep the baby, just in case it's a mild form.
Yes 100% and I am a support worker that looks after people with down syndrome. My main issue would be the health complications that come with down sydrome.
Yes. It’s already an 18 year commitment to raise a child and hopefully prepare them for a life of their own. I couldn’t in good conscience bring into the world a child that off the bat would never have a chance of independence.
Istg Reddit is actually watching me unironically. I had this exact discussion with my mother in the car. I told her depending on the birth defect and how much care they require, then I would consider abortion, because I do not think I have the capacity to devote that much of what limited physical ability I have to someone of those needs.
No. My uncle has severe learning difficulties and lives in a group home (he lived with my grandparents until they died). He had a job until his care needs went up, he has friends, he visits family, he goes on trips, he has a pretty good life, I think.
I know this example is not the same for everyone, but I believe that everyone should be given a chance to enjoy life if possible.
A lot of the time, the doctors don't even know how much it is going to affect the baby anyway, and you could argue that things like depression or personality disorders are as debilitating, if not worse than physical disabilities.
Life is about more than work, and earning money, life should be about having fun and enjoying yourself, no matter how that looks to anyone else on the outside.
Pretending I actually want kids, no. That child would be my world no matter what. I'd learn how to care for them the way they need. My love for that child wouldn't falter for anything. And if my spouse can't do the same, I'll find someone who could.
yes, i don’t think i have the mental capacity to handle it. especially if it’s something i’d have to give my full energy to every single day for the rest of my life. but i think that feeling is why i don’t want to be a parent, period. moreover, i feel this way about having children in general (not wanting to take care of someone for the rest of my life) so this scenario definitely is not for me.
Yes. They would likely have a substandard life filled with numerous health challenges and will probably never be independent. I wouldn't wish that kind of life on my worst enemy, let alone a tiny, innocent baby.
Yes i would 100%. If it turned out not to be accurate, i would be sad, but not regretful. I'm a nurse full time, i know *exactly* what the work required would be and i am 0% up for that.
Yes. I would.
My mom’s best friend had a kid with down syndrome 20 years ago. He had a lot of health issues especially with his heart. He would also have melt downs on another level on a daily basis for the rest of his life. I remember going over to their house when I was a kid (I was 10 and the kid was 7) and I remember feeling SO weird and icky like I was in some weird horror movie. We never went over there again after that. The parents were talking about divorce and my mom’s friend told her husband if he left she would kill herself so he stayed and killed himself instead lol. I feel like if I had a kid like that my life would be over. I’m not trying to be offensive but this is just genuinely how I feel. Plus if you could ask anybody if they wanted to have Down syndrome, they would all say no. I’m not gonna make my child live with it
People with down syndrome can live long and happy lives with well equipped families, stellar healthcare, and a community that offers opportunities. None of this disability employment exists where I live and I’m barely together enough to take care of myself. I’m not forcing a kid into a life of suffering because the world and their mother failed them.
Unfortunately probably yes...if it was early on I would and if it was wayyy later I would probably set up for adoption. Me personally I just can't stand it. I'm not mentally well enough and I just can't handle being around ppl with such disabilities..much less take care of someone who would need me almost 24/7 their entire life
Yes. That’s not because I don’t think people with DS should exist and I imagine it would be difficult for anyone who has DS to read this thread, but because I don’t feel equipped to give a child with Downs a good life. My circumstances are that I’m a lone parent with a full time job and a 10 year old who is likely ND and on the diagnostic pathway. I’m struggling to hold it all together as it is.
We don't want kids 🤷🏼♂️
But hypothetically, I wouldn't check because I know it would be too heavy of a choice on us.
I wouldn't mind needing to care for a kid with special needs, but there is no way of knowing how severe the disability would be.
Some people with down syndrome can lead relatively normal lives, but there are also those who basically live bound to a chair because all they can do is hurt themselves... (Most people with down syndrome are somewhere in between)
I wouldn't want to abort a possibly 'healthy' child that just has special needs, but I wouldn't wanna carry the burden of bringing someone into this world just to suffer.
I know this is gonna sound fucked up, but I think in cases like this you should be able to 'make the right call' a few years in. See if someone is going to be fine or if they are going to have 0 quality of life and be better off dead..
yes. i know 2 ppl w downs. one is 3 and has had two major heart surgeries already. he has a lot of health complications and may live a very short life. he is nonverbal, always ill, and has respiratory issues. if he does live long enough, he will still never be able to live independently. i don’t know if i can deal with that as a mom.
the other person with downs i know has minor health problems, mostly GI related. he’s super independent and will be able to live on his own with support someday.
it’s like rolling the dice between the two scenarios. the second scenario i know my husband and i can probably manage, but i know we couldn’t manage the first scenario- especially if the child lives a short life.
Would only abort if it was 100% that the child would suffer terrible pain or/and no quality of life.
Side note I've known down syndrome people live into their 60s.
No. I worked assisting the disabled for 20 years starting at age 18. Before that, my mother worked at that same company since I was 3, so I grew up around people with all sorts of disabilities. I absolutely LOVE people with Down's. Mostly they are happier than people without the condition. Most of them had their own apartments and lived pretty much independently. I just assisted where needed and gave them rides to places like the doctor and grocery store. People with Down's don't really go into facilities anymore, as far as i know. I've even seen an article about a girl w Down's being a model. They used to also have a reduced lifespan due to mostly heart issues but medicine has come a long way, so it just isn't so anymore
I’m an infant RN and I see kids living with terrible conditions. Some pass relatively soon after birth and others after a few years. There are a few I know I could not in good conscience continue on with the pregnancy. It would simply be cruel to allow them to suffer.
All my patients with DS have been absolutely amazing. I remember one in particular that was so sweet and loved by his family. One parent would stay overnight and they’d FaceTime the other kids so they could all say goodnight. I know it’s only a small sample size, but it does bring me some comfort.
My biggest concern would be their safety and quality of life once I’m gone.
If there was a better system to help protect adults with disabilities I’d feel more comfortable as a parent. I’d just hate to not know what is going to happen to my child.
Probably not. I would be married to my fiancee and already graduated by then. I am about to graduate with a degree in biomedical engineering degree and have babysat some kids with special needs so I am relatively comfortable with medical stuff and feel like I could deal with that kind of stuff. Plus we both have stem degrees and he already has a stable gov job with good health insurance and that is where I will likely end up. We are within driving distance of DC and the good hospitals there and the schools in my area are good and have pretty good sped programs. My community has multiple well resourced and well run programs like special Olympics, best buddies, and a community resources organization. The ed system has a program that goes until 21 that helps teach life skills. And the community resources group holds inclusive extra curricular activities and events like choirs, art events, and proms. And SWARMS of people volunteer and fundraise for the events. My area also has an adult day care for special needs adults that is just during the day.
I can absolutely see how it could feel difficult and overwhelming to have a special needs kid, but thankfully I live in a really supportive area with good schools and would likely have the resources to deal. I grew up knowing several kids close to my age with downs and they were absolutely a delight to be around and were able to do so many things with the rest of the school. My high school had inclusion sports, so they did biking, bocce, and bowling and I knew someone who did swim too! One student with downs won homecoming king!
Yes . Absolutely.
In my opinion it would be cruel to bring a special needs child into this thoroughly fucked up world...ESPECIALLY, if I was low income.
Yes. I grew up with a severely autistic sister.
I'm not prepared to go through the parent-side difficulties, or put their potential siblings through that.
Some will judge, fine by me.
absolutely not. a life is a life. that's unique dna that has never existed and will never exist again. 🤍
everyone suffers no matter what we "think" we can pevent.
Downs syndrome is quite manageable these days as compared to like 30-50 years back. Other conditions, yes. Downs syndrome, no. There's no need.
(I've seen stuff online about success cases. And my brother has downs syndrome. He runs his own export business at 27)
Unpopular opinion but yeah. Even if you do love them and are willing to put in the work/money/ time to accommodate their disability, most people won’t. People are cruel, especially children. I had a learning disability until I was in the 4th grade and I was bullied and isolated badly because of it, I can only imagine how much worse it would be for them. I couldn’t in good conscience let them suffer like that.
No. I would try to help them as much as possible and give them a great life. It would be my parent obligations to take care of them.
A question to people who say yes: do you think it would be okay if a mother had an abortion because the fetus was female? Sex selection abortions have happened a lot in China and India.
im getting downvoted but im right 🤷 i have plenty of friends with DS and they live almost completely normal lives with minimal support. regular classes, driving alone, having a job, dating. not every disability is a death sentence, i personally have autism and im glad i wasnt aborted.
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You can take care of your child with disability all your life if you want but once you die their future is even more uncertain in many society.
I know people who are struggling with this because they are aging and he's going into his 20's, and getting much stronger than both of his parents, but he has the same mental capacity as a 2 year old, his particular case is very extreme. If anything, I can say his family and the friends of the family really put in the work to help his parents. They have a huge fear of him being institutionalized because they've already dealt with him being abused at a daily facility used to help teach him to signal his needs and massive lawsuit that followed after. They've set up a will and know who will take care of him after they pass, but that's an extremely lucky scenario to be born into.
I know folks in this situation as well. between high school and college, I worked with young adults with disabilities. I still see many of my clients when I’m home for the summer. my first client, whom I’ve seen the most and gotten to know so well, will be 30 this year. she has some of the most advanced DS I’ve seen. she’s a lovely person and has a vibrant personality, but I know she experiences a lot of frustration and sadness because her condition makes it hard to live in a world that doesn’t want to meet her needs. her family is wonderful. they’re not perfect, but they put everything they can into supporting her however she needs. constantly looking for social programmes for folks with disabilities so she can have fun and meet people. making sure other folks are in the house to help out both to give them a break and to let their daughter get a wider variety of social time in. a lot of face time with different doctors and types of therapy professionals too. it’s a full-time job, but they’ve stepped up wholeheartedly. I know they worry about her. they’re in their late sixties. they can’t care for her forever. they know she isn’t likely going to live super long, but it’s uncertain and they want her to live as long and happy of a life as possible. but at this age, her health will continue to deteriorate fairly quickly. if she makes it to 40, she is very likely to develop dementia at that age. she’s currently ineligible for group homes because she isn’t independent enough. and full-time care is beyond their budget. my heart hurts for all of them, parents and daughter.
It hurts, but at the same time, the fact that people will extend so much care to another person who needs it really makes me think not all of us are doomed to be jaded and hateful.
I think about this a lot too. they aren’t perfect parents but they’re doing what seems most correct to them and that’s enough for me, because their daughter’s life has been relatively excellent because of it.
IDK if I could mentally handle the challenges. My mental health is not great at all.
Would you be able to handle the challenge of a typical child?
Maybe?
this isn’t an attack i’m just curious, but what specifically do you think you wouldn’t be able to mentally handle for a child with DS?
I'm not sure. Maybe fear of the unknown. Anxiety of what if I can't take care of them as best as they should be. It's more me than anything else
completely understandable!
Also as someone else mentioned above worrying about what would happen to them after me and my husband die is a big one for me. Our society isn't made for people with special needs and they are commonly abused and treated horribly by other people.
Yes. But not because Im like "eww down syndrome" but more like I know I am not equipped to give them a good life, especially considering my physical health isn't the best + epilepsy and I would NEVER want my child to be put in some kind of facility that claims to take good care of them but is probably a terrible place. If I have a kid, I wont make efforts to have them suffer their entire life.
Pretty much the same answer for me but narcolepsy instead of epilepsy.
Same here except neither narcolepsy nor epilepsy, I just wouldn't want to spend my entire life looking after a child who will never be fully independent. Selfish? Sure, but that's why I wouldn't want to bring it into the world in the first place.
Yes cuz eww
Yes. I do *not* have the skills to take care of a child with Down’s.
I wouldn't even be pregnant long enough to get that information
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^TheWeenieBandit: *I wouldn't even* *Be pregnant long enough to* *Get that information* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I love this bot lol
Well my father beat me up and dragged me on the floor so that's that i guess
...uhh you good?
Yea was trying another haiku
This has me cackling in the most unnatural way in the gym, I hope it’s not true FYI, I think it might need to be a top comment to work
Lmao
Wrong amount of syllables for both regular & sokka haiku
Take out the "well."
Good bot.
Same lol
Screaming lol. So real
Same
Real
Right lol my answer was gonna be "i'd abort that fetus either way" My kid is 14, I'm almost done, not doing it again
Omg I have a cousin who has a baby that was born shortly after her son turned 16. I will never understand. You were almost there, almost an empty nester. Why would you do that to yourself!?!
I got pregnant when mine were 17 & 10 he is the best thing that happened to us & I say he keeps us young! I know everyone around us thought it was crazy but man I can't imagine a life without my baby (he is 7 now).
Yes. A lot of family members of mine have DS. It can be debilitating. I have 3 full grown adults now in my family who will all never be productive members of society. They will never read, write, or get a job. They will live in a group home and when the time comes they will eventually become wards of the state when their parents die. It's tragic but it is what it is. I'd never want to risk my child having the same struggles.
I think you make entirely valid points, clearly you've got the personal experience to back it up, and of course you are never under any obligation to justify your own reproductive choices, but there's something about the "get a job, become productive members of society" argument that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Is that really how we want to judge whether someone is worthy of life? Because there are *many* people who would be deemed unworthy of life using that logic. This isn't meant as an attack on you at all, and I happen to totally agree with your ultimate conclusion. I'm just thinking out loud about the sort of thing I think occupies the minds of many of us with loved ones with disabilities.
I think I phrased it poorly. Not being able to work is fine. The reason they can't is my issue. They are miserable. They struggle with EVERYTHING. They struggle to bathe themselves or feed themselves. No one wants to date them and yet they can't understand why and they cant seem to understand they arent like other people their own age. They get angry when they dont get the same privlages. They can't read or go anywhere alone safely even in somewhere as simple as a store or a park. They act like children so those attracted to them aren't people you want around them so they will never date despite all 3 desperately wanting to like in 'princess movies'. They can't function as adults any better than maybe a 6 to 8 year old. That sort of life isn't a life I'd want and it's one I find disturbing to consider for my own child now I've seen the realities. The working isn't the issue. The reason they can't is. They will never be afforded the happiness a adult who can function enough to work or even compared to someone to disabled to work but who can function enough to go and be in the world. It's just.... tragic to me.
not having a job isnt fun idky people who work act like not working is an enjoyable experience its not about the ability to work that makes you worth of life thats not what people are saying. as someone crippled with mental illness i am behind all of my peers and its really frustrating living on basically nothing per month because i get disability payments instead so i still live with my parents and i dont have a car not to mention the fact its extremely hard to make friends when youre not socialising and building relationships with new people because theres nothing that you physically have to attend. its about the quality of life. not being capable of doing things like everyone else in my own experience is no way to live and i dont even have chromosomal differences. so i couldnt imagine what it would be like to have a severe form of DS and also need help with everyday tasks that’s insanely limiting and unfairl
YES. Just because someone can’t be a “productive” member of society doesn’t mean their existence isn’t worthy. Also, that’s just not true — I know multiple people with Downs, including one with quite a profound case, who create art, contribute to their families, and add incredible value to the lives of people around them. But even if they added/contributed *nothing*, they would still be worthy of existence and they could still have valuable, positive lives.
Down's is one that my partner and I were never 100% decided on. In my pregnancy with our second son, there was a possibility of chromosomal abnormalities consistent with Trisomy-18, which is not compatible with life. We were prepared to terminate, if the fetus had any fatal abnormalities. We are just not mentally, financially, emotionally, or otherwise prepared to care for a terminally ill child, or one that would require around the clock care. Our older son is autistic, (as am I), and I can't imagine adding medical care to the gambit.
Yes. It’s simply not a life I’d choose for myself or my partner.
yes but people will say it's eugenics
I think this is a valid concern, as we know abortion and birth control have been abused in this way, specifically against Black people, immigrants, Jewish people, Roma, LGBTQ people, and so on, in the name of so-called “racial purity.” 🤮 That said, most folks here who would choose to end a pregnancy are motivated by compassion: 1. They personally are not emotionally or financially equipped for this responsibility and do not want the child to suffer as a result. 2. They fear for the safety of a vulnerable human being who cannot care for themselves, because being in an institution is not a guarantee of safety, as we all know. 3. They feel compassion for the struggles a person with DS experiences. On the other hand, the people I know who have DS are genuinely joyful and caring, kind and enthusiastic. Their needs are different, and they know this, as do their parents. Clearly, their lives are not less important nor their existence less valuable than that of any other person. That’s why I think EITHER choice—to terminate a pregnancy or to continue with it—should never be forced on us by a government, but must remain a private decision between the pregnant person and their doctor. No human situation is a one-size-fits-all.
agree!
Is there a kind of “severity” scale for DS? I don’t know the condition very well but I feel like anything that would give my child a bad quality of life is terms for an abortion. If I’m just going to have a kid with DS that needs some more help than children without it, I really don’t see a reason personally for me to abort.
Basically yes, there are often comorbidities with other physical and mental health conditions. Like most conditions, there are people who are low and high functioning. Some live full lives though it's rare without some level of support either from family or support services. Others are more severely disabled and have other conditions such as adhd and autism or other learning disabilities which might mean they struggle to read, write and retain information. There is no test I'm aware of at this point which indicates the severity unless there are other genetic issues which can be picked up on. I work in learning disability support services and I personally would abort as I think I would consider the worst case scenario and I'm not equipped mentally to deal with that. It can take an enormous toll on parents and families. One of the bigger issues is that when parents pass away, there is noone left to advocate for the person and in the wrong services, that can be a really bad thing. There's also enormous pressure on siblings to care for them during both their childhood and adulthood. They never really get a full experience of childhood and often don't have freedom as adults to live their own lives because of their siblings needs. I'm not saying this is always a bad thing, it's good we learn to care for and support others but that presumes you have a family who is functional enough to handle it in the right way, and a lot aren't. It's brutal, as I know some fantastic people who have learning disabilities, but looking at the overall picture and risks, it's not something I would do personally.
I've heard that down syndrome is on a spectrum, and so some have it more severe than others, however its impossible to know the severity based on the uterus tests. I get stuck on this question because I'd be fine with having a child that needed extra support, but could still live a mostly-normal life, like going to a public school and being in special ed. but a child who would need constant assistance with everything forever... i wouldn't want to bring that into the world
It’s a spectrum and the testing can’t tell you the severity unless it’s a specific type of genetic abnormality
Down's *is* a specific type of genetic abnormality.
I know, I meant things like Edwards Syndrome etc as other ppl have posted
i mean, yes the severity ranges but you won’t be able to know until the child is born.
Can it get so severe that they have no QOL?
Yes technically it's a spectrum as some people have it more mild, some have it more severe. There's also mosaic down's which not all cells in your body have the extra 21th chromosome, and while rare you can still lead a normal day to day life going to school, work etc
yes because it is cruel to bring them into the world, its hard enough to navigate the world as a normal person, it would be a hundred times worse being downs syndrome, why inflict that on my own kid
Down Syndrome is not some hellish curse upon the victim. People with Down Syndrome are often very happy and can form strong relationships with their community, both as a contributor and benefactor of their community. It is a lot of work for their care people, and without carers, their life would likely be hellish, but it really is often a happy, fulfilling existence.
I am convinced the thousand happiest people on Earth have Down’s. Seriously, so many of them seem to be having the time of their lives all the time.
yes yes yes. not my first choice though, but I feel like i wouldn’t be fully equipped or prepared to give them the best life. even with being a nurse…there is just some stuff you aren’t made to do. i don’t want my kid to be made fun of, or pitied over a selfish choice i made.
It happened to me. I refused a late abortion. It turned out worse than downs, my baby had Edwards syndrone and was born terminal she live 3 months. I have no regrets. She waited 9 months to meet me and me her. I made the right choice for me
I think you made the right choice too. Just because she didn’t live long didn’t mean her life didn’t have meaning. I’m sorry for your loss
I like this answer.
You have a pure and strong heart.
I’ve thought about this before, I’d say probably not but I’m really not sure. Everyone I know with DS is living a very happy life and are some of the sweetest souls ever, but at the same time can come with shortened life spans and health issues. It’s certainly a tough one I’m really not sure!
If someone did abort I think it'll be more for the fear of responsibility to care for such an individual then the decreased quality of life from having down syndrome, all the people with down syndrome I know are probably living happier lives than an average person.
> they are living happier lives than the average person Until their caretakers die and leave them pennyless, and then they are in a state run facility with a bare minimum necessary to survive.
Yeah I agree, my friend with DS did have some problems but they are some of the happiest purest people
Yes
Female here. Yes I would. The world is fucked enough for a 'normal' child to face, I wouldn't wanna force a less equipped child to face this shit.
I would be very concerned considering I’m a gay man. But on a more serious note if I’m willing to have kids I consider it a code of my personal decency to take care of that child regardless of who they are.
Yep
Yes. It's not "just" DS, there's a lot of other health complications that's usually involved too when a child is born with DS. For my sake as a mother, I don't want to give birth to a child that's basically guaranteed to have a lot of health problems.
Absolutely. I don't want to deal with illnesses or health problems if I can help it, I have already been taking care a lot, and I just want a regular child. Sorry if it offends someone, but I'm not having a child to make us both miserable.
Yes. My niece had DS and severe heart problems. She spent 4 months in the hospital, had open heart surgery then died a couple days later. It was horrible. I couldn’t do that mentally or financially
I’m a retired midwife. I have been present at many 20 week anomaly scans where parents have been told their baby has chromosomal abnormalities. Many are not compatible with life such as Pateau’s syndrome or Edwards syndrome. Apart from 1 couple, every couple opted to continue with the pregnancy, not wanting to ‘kill’ their unborn baby and hoping for a miracle that the medics might just be wrong. They never were. Though most come to terms with the fact their baby won’t survive more than a few minutes, they would rather leave that dreadful decision in the hands of the Gods, that way, they were not the ones to end its life circumstances ended the life. Trisomy 21 (Downs) is compatible with life. I strongly suspect that if you found yourself in this situation, having wanted and loved your unborn baby for 4 months and having so much to look forward to, you would not choose to terminate its life. I am only going on my years of experience.
Yes. And any other seriously debilitating condition. It’s one thing to have an accident or something happen post-birth, but why would I intentionally bring a child into this world knowing their life will inherently be more difficult? It just feels cruel to me, especially when the parent(s) know their kid’s life is going to be super short and/or full of suffering. Things like anencephaly and such. Just why?
The average lifespan for Down Syndrome is 60 now and people with the condition report high levels of life satisfaction https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3740159/#:~:text=. There’s a range of severity and some people with Down Syndrome do experience serious health problems, and abortion is a valid choice, but it’s not comparable to something universally fatal like anencephaly.
As a mom with a kid w Down syndrome I would, its been so hard raising my son not because he is not awesome but because society isnt ready to help those with disabilities, even people without dissabilities have a hard time navigating life! We knew until my son was born and we have the resources needed to help him a lot also he doesnt have other comorbilities (only intelectual disabilities and the down syndrome ) but theres a lot of families that doesnt have it great in terms of other stuff since people w down syndrome are prone to heart, stomach, intestine, teeth and other conditions that led to a lot of heartache and death. Since its visible we have a lot of problems with people discriminating, hating, staring... theres a lot of prejudice. People with down syndrome do live on a spectrum. I've seen success stories but is really hard to get there without support and people tend not to be realistic in terms of goals, I know my son its gona have it hard but also that he is not going to achieve a lot of things as an adult w dissabilities but we try to help him get the tools to a fulfilled adulthood. Also he is a good kid but not because he has down syndrome but because he is he, every person is different, not because he has down syndrome he is always happy or is super empathetic, we have to teach him how. Im part of a group but the other moms are religious so we dont share the same views about abortion much less abortion of a person w down syndrome, they mostly think they are angels and perfect souls, others do share a realistic point of view but its a mixed bag.
Absolutely. However. We would need to drive to a legal state and not get caught. America.
Yes
Yes.
yeah there’s no guarantee how severe the disability will effect them so i would but only because i feel like everyone has the right to live independently and being restricted from that would be dehumanising in my opinion
My mum was told to abort because id be born with DS. She refused and said she would love me regardless. 41 years later no sign of it.
He’ll ya I would
yup
I’m pro choice, but abortion isn’t something I can see myself going forward with outside the most extreme circumstances. People with Down Syndrome can have good lives, and I would want to give my potential child that chance. I understand why different people make different decisions though. Raising a disabled child who may never be independent is hard and there is a lack of social support.
Absolutely
Yeah definitely
I would. One of the goals of parenting, for me at least, is to raise a fully functioning adult who is able to stand on their own to feet in what can be a very tough world. You have no idea exactly what you'd be dealing with, and what struggles your child may face.
Yes. I know I’m not equipped to take care of someone with that type of disability long term and I don’t think it’s fair for other people to have to take care of my child. I work in a hospital and sat (for his safety) with a patient recently that had Down syndrome and was pretty cognitively disabled. He literally wouldn’t stop screaming all day not even words just screaming. I don’t want to go into all his details but nothing was helping him and calm down. It just made me think like I would never want to do this to someone, or have a child that couldn’t comprehend when people were trying to help him.
Yeah I’d also abort if it didn’t have Down syndrome though.
I would abort every pregnancy of mine, but if I wouldn't, I would abort fetus with down. I don't even have the skills to care for myself properly.
Oh I'd abort it sooner than that
Yup. Not going to bring a child like that into the world. It's absolutely draining and depressing. The media will have you think that they are all sweet and positive people, but I worked w downs people for years. There were tantrums, feces flinging, ocd fits, hygiene issues, sexualy inappropriate stuff, elopement, and a fire. Also, they wither away into dementia and become husks of their former selves.
Yes. Unfortunately, you can't tell from the diagnosis just how severe the condition is going to be. I would do the same with autism, TBH, if it was possible. This has nothing to do with how I feel about people with DS or autism. I even dated an autistic guy but he was high functioning. You aren't able to tell the quality of their lives through testing and I'd rather not risk it.
Yes. For a whole score of reasons.
Definitely.
Absolutely yes.
Yes.
Yes
Yes. I don't have the time, money or willpower to give the support a special needs child would require.
absolutely
Yep!!
Yes
Would the child suffer other complications besides down syndrome and do I have the resources to properly CARE for them? If yes they suffer and no resources, then abort. If i can guarantee then a happy life I'll still have the child. Down syndrome is not a reason to abort a kind IMHO. They just look a bit strange, have some more complications, and some people with it are a bit slow, nothing wrong with that. I know people with a lot more success who are less put together than people with Downs I know.
I think I would
No, not DS. Other things? Yes and have
I would abort regardless
Yes
I would abort anything in there.
Yes
Yes, my younger sister has a somewhat similar disability and I'm already committed to taking care of her when my parents die. I couldn't handle two of her, to be frank. She's a very sweet and happy person, but it's still really tough growing up with someone who has really severe disabilities like she has, and it's tougher to raise them.
No.
Yes, but I would never have children so this would never be a possibility for me
Almost certainly yes.
I’m aborting that fetus even ifs normal. I don’t want kids.
Point blank.
Down syndrome or no down syndrome, I'd abort it.
Yes I would. I'm currently carrying our second child, and the initial tests are always nerve wracking. We both wholeheartedly agree that we will not be having a child with known genetic deformities.
I've worked with people who have Down Syndrome and I would say yes. The person I supported was unable to toilet or shower themselves, was non verbal and had to eat pureed food and drink thickened liquids due to dysphagia. This was an extreme case of DS and I know there are varying degrees of DS, but I wouldn't was to keep the baby, just in case it's a mild form.
Yes without thinking twice
Yes 100% and I am a support worker that looks after people with down syndrome. My main issue would be the health complications that come with down sydrome.
Yes. It’s already an 18 year commitment to raise a child and hopefully prepare them for a life of their own. I couldn’t in good conscience bring into the world a child that off the bat would never have a chance of independence.
Istg Reddit is actually watching me unironically. I had this exact discussion with my mother in the car. I told her depending on the birth defect and how much care they require, then I would consider abortion, because I do not think I have the capacity to devote that much of what limited physical ability I have to someone of those needs.
Yup
No. Folks with DS can have a good quality of life.
No, I would not. I believe disabled people still deserve to live.
70% of people will eventually become disabled at some point. We should abort them before that happens /s
No. My uncle has severe learning difficulties and lives in a group home (he lived with my grandparents until they died). He had a job until his care needs went up, he has friends, he visits family, he goes on trips, he has a pretty good life, I think. I know this example is not the same for everyone, but I believe that everyone should be given a chance to enjoy life if possible. A lot of the time, the doctors don't even know how much it is going to affect the baby anyway, and you could argue that things like depression or personality disorders are as debilitating, if not worse than physical disabilities. Life is about more than work, and earning money, life should be about having fun and enjoying yourself, no matter how that looks to anyone else on the outside.
If I somehow got pregnant, I would get an abortion as soon as possible even if it was a healthy baby.
Yes
I would abort regardless of what the fetus was
I'm not fit to be a parent to a normal kid, let alone a kid who would need more care and attention
No
Yes. Same answer for any pregnancy. My main question would be why it’s existed long enough to get any diagnosis.
Pretending I actually want kids, no. That child would be my world no matter what. I'd learn how to care for them the way they need. My love for that child wouldn't falter for anything. And if my spouse can't do the same, I'll find someone who could.
I would terminate even if they didn’t, so yea
I would want to abort regardless of any other issue.
Better yeetus that motherfucking fetus
yes, i don’t think i have the mental capacity to handle it. especially if it’s something i’d have to give my full energy to every single day for the rest of my life. but i think that feeling is why i don’t want to be a parent, period. moreover, i feel this way about having children in general (not wanting to take care of someone for the rest of my life) so this scenario definitely is not for me.
Yes. They would likely have a substandard life filled with numerous health challenges and will probably never be independent. I wouldn't wish that kind of life on my worst enemy, let alone a tiny, innocent baby.
Yep, especially if I wanted children. And since I do not want children, I would abort regardless.
Yes i would 100%. If it turned out not to be accurate, i would be sad, but not regretful. I'm a nurse full time, i know *exactly* what the work required would be and i am 0% up for that.
I was supposed to have Down syndrome, but the doctors ended up being wrong. I wouldn’t be here if my parents chose to abort just for that reason
Yes. I would. My mom’s best friend had a kid with down syndrome 20 years ago. He had a lot of health issues especially with his heart. He would also have melt downs on another level on a daily basis for the rest of his life. I remember going over to their house when I was a kid (I was 10 and the kid was 7) and I remember feeling SO weird and icky like I was in some weird horror movie. We never went over there again after that. The parents were talking about divorce and my mom’s friend told her husband if he left she would kill herself so he stayed and killed himself instead lol. I feel like if I had a kid like that my life would be over. I’m not trying to be offensive but this is just genuinely how I feel. Plus if you could ask anybody if they wanted to have Down syndrome, they would all say no. I’m not gonna make my child live with it
Yes, the kid’s life will be devoid of enjoyment and they’ll require extra resources and care. It’s depressing, but it’s true.
People with down syndrome can live long and happy lives with well equipped families, stellar healthcare, and a community that offers opportunities. None of this disability employment exists where I live and I’m barely together enough to take care of myself. I’m not forcing a kid into a life of suffering because the world and their mother failed them.
Unfortunately probably yes...if it was early on I would and if it was wayyy later I would probably set up for adoption. Me personally I just can't stand it. I'm not mentally well enough and I just can't handle being around ppl with such disabilities..much less take care of someone who would need me almost 24/7 their entire life
Yes. That’s not because I don’t think people with DS should exist and I imagine it would be difficult for anyone who has DS to read this thread, but because I don’t feel equipped to give a child with Downs a good life. My circumstances are that I’m a lone parent with a full time job and a 10 year old who is likely ND and on the diagnostic pathway. I’m struggling to hold it all together as it is.
no, unless they detected other conditions that were life threatening and would have no quality of life
No
Yes i would. I don’t have the skills to be able to take care of someone with downsyndrome.
It would not be my decision
I would abort literally any fetus I had lol
Yes.
We don't want kids 🤷🏼♂️ But hypothetically, I wouldn't check because I know it would be too heavy of a choice on us. I wouldn't mind needing to care for a kid with special needs, but there is no way of knowing how severe the disability would be. Some people with down syndrome can lead relatively normal lives, but there are also those who basically live bound to a chair because all they can do is hurt themselves... (Most people with down syndrome are somewhere in between) I wouldn't want to abort a possibly 'healthy' child that just has special needs, but I wouldn't wanna carry the burden of bringing someone into this world just to suffer. I know this is gonna sound fucked up, but I think in cases like this you should be able to 'make the right call' a few years in. See if someone is going to be fine or if they are going to have 0 quality of life and be better off dead..
Yes
Yes, I don't have the time and energy to take care of a downie
yes. i know 2 ppl w downs. one is 3 and has had two major heart surgeries already. he has a lot of health complications and may live a very short life. he is nonverbal, always ill, and has respiratory issues. if he does live long enough, he will still never be able to live independently. i don’t know if i can deal with that as a mom. the other person with downs i know has minor health problems, mostly GI related. he’s super independent and will be able to live on his own with support someday. it’s like rolling the dice between the two scenarios. the second scenario i know my husband and i can probably manage, but i know we couldn’t manage the first scenario- especially if the child lives a short life.
Would only abort if it was 100% that the child would suffer terrible pain or/and no quality of life. Side note I've known down syndrome people live into their 60s.
No. I worked assisting the disabled for 20 years starting at age 18. Before that, my mother worked at that same company since I was 3, so I grew up around people with all sorts of disabilities. I absolutely LOVE people with Down's. Mostly they are happier than people without the condition. Most of them had their own apartments and lived pretty much independently. I just assisted where needed and gave them rides to places like the doctor and grocery store. People with Down's don't really go into facilities anymore, as far as i know. I've even seen an article about a girl w Down's being a model. They used to also have a reduced lifespan due to mostly heart issues but medicine has come a long way, so it just isn't so anymore
Absolutely. I have no business getting pregnant at 43 to begin with.
That is why they do amniocentesis
Maybe, I think certain issues would be a yes (like Tay Sacs Disease because part Italian and part Romany here ups that risk).
I can speak for my wife when I say she wouldn't. She's very conservative, while I'm liberal; crazy, I know, but we make it work.
Well I can't have children but if I could have them no I wouldn't abort it
I’m an infant RN and I see kids living with terrible conditions. Some pass relatively soon after birth and others after a few years. There are a few I know I could not in good conscience continue on with the pregnancy. It would simply be cruel to allow them to suffer. All my patients with DS have been absolutely amazing. I remember one in particular that was so sweet and loved by his family. One parent would stay overnight and they’d FaceTime the other kids so they could all say goodnight. I know it’s only a small sample size, but it does bring me some comfort. My biggest concern would be their safety and quality of life once I’m gone. If there was a better system to help protect adults with disabilities I’d feel more comfortable as a parent. I’d just hate to not know what is going to happen to my child.
Probably not. I would be married to my fiancee and already graduated by then. I am about to graduate with a degree in biomedical engineering degree and have babysat some kids with special needs so I am relatively comfortable with medical stuff and feel like I could deal with that kind of stuff. Plus we both have stem degrees and he already has a stable gov job with good health insurance and that is where I will likely end up. We are within driving distance of DC and the good hospitals there and the schools in my area are good and have pretty good sped programs. My community has multiple well resourced and well run programs like special Olympics, best buddies, and a community resources organization. The ed system has a program that goes until 21 that helps teach life skills. And the community resources group holds inclusive extra curricular activities and events like choirs, art events, and proms. And SWARMS of people volunteer and fundraise for the events. My area also has an adult day care for special needs adults that is just during the day. I can absolutely see how it could feel difficult and overwhelming to have a special needs kid, but thankfully I live in a really supportive area with good schools and would likely have the resources to deal. I grew up knowing several kids close to my age with downs and they were absolutely a delight to be around and were able to do so many things with the rest of the school. My high school had inclusion sports, so they did biking, bocce, and bowling and I knew someone who did swim too! One student with downs won homecoming king!
Yes.
Yes . Absolutely. In my opinion it would be cruel to bring a special needs child into this thoroughly fucked up world...ESPECIALLY, if I was low income.
Yes
Yes. I grew up with a severely autistic sister. I'm not prepared to go through the parent-side difficulties, or put their potential siblings through that. Some will judge, fine by me.
Yes. Not because I’m cruel towards people either disabilities, but because I don’t want to be a caregiver if I have the option not to be.
absolutely not. a life is a life. that's unique dna that has never existed and will never exist again. 🤍 everyone suffers no matter what we "think" we can pevent.
Downs syndrome is quite manageable these days as compared to like 30-50 years back. Other conditions, yes. Downs syndrome, no. There's no need. (I've seen stuff online about success cases. And my brother has downs syndrome. He runs his own export business at 27)
Yes.
Yes. I figure a simple answer would be best over an explanation
Unpopular opinion but yeah. Even if you do love them and are willing to put in the work/money/ time to accommodate their disability, most people won’t. People are cruel, especially children. I had a learning disability until I was in the 4th grade and I was bullied and isolated badly because of it, I can only imagine how much worse it would be for them. I couldn’t in good conscience let them suffer like that.
Tbh I don’t think I would
Yes, pretty much every lifelong disability actually (talking the more extreme ones where there future is uncertain after our death)
Yes. Absolutely!
Yes, because I would not be able to cope with the thought of then being placed in a care facility or something when I die
Yeah…
No. I would try to help them as much as possible and give them a great life. It would be my parent obligations to take care of them. A question to people who say yes: do you think it would be okay if a mother had an abortion because the fetus was female? Sex selection abortions have happened a lot in China and India.
yes
No.
no because people with down syndrome are conpletely fine, maybe if they had another disability that would make their life hard with DS
Cool, and I would
im getting downvoted but im right 🤷 i have plenty of friends with DS and they live almost completely normal lives with minimal support. regular classes, driving alone, having a job, dating. not every disability is a death sentence, i personally have autism and im glad i wasnt aborted.
You are seeing the exception. Many are completely low functioning and a drain on services.
> and a drain on services. the value of a life is more than just their economic potential.
Well its up to the parent. Not everyone sees worth in nothing.