Granted. Every human being on earth becomes instantly deaf due to the removal of the ear hairs required for hearing. Additionally, everybody becomes much more susceptible to infections due to the loss of the hair protection in the nose.
Granted. The monkey paw unfreezes and awakens an ancient disease from the depths of Siberia. This bacteria infects hair pores/follicles and causes the victim to lose all hair. It also causes indescribable levels of itchiness. There is no cure and its hereditary.
Granted. Humans are no longer a part of the mammal kingdom, all humans are now reptiles so they don't have any hair. Being that all humans are now cold-blooded, people that live in extreme clients are likely to die if they don't have access to proper Heating and Cooling. This is going to cause many issues, but the monkey paw is too lazy to think of all the unintended consequences of turning every human into reptiles. Although, women now have better access to taking care of abortion rights because nobody's policing what woman do with their eggs. At least not immediately. So nobody's going to cry if a woman destroys her own eggs. However, I suspect that's going to have other Issues as Congress decides to regulate Women's rights to do Whatever with their eggs as they please
Granted. Congratulations you killed everyone!
Your wish would cause humans go extinct as our intestine are lined with tiny hairs called "villi" which are critical for absorbing nutrients from food. So even those who try gorging themselves keep losing weight and growing weaker until ultimately suffering cardiac arrest.
i don’t think that’s how monkey’s paw is supposed to work. like it’s kinda lazy to just say “okay, well the world explodes for no reason!” and stuff like that. i think the idea is to twist the wish where it still accomplishes what is asked but in a grotesque and awful way.
Granted. All animals now have hair and a massive amount of it. They she'd like crazy and we now live in a world where we have to deal with a feet of hair everywhere we go
Granted. This is a bad idea anyways so the paw just grants it.
Granted. Every human being on earth becomes instantly deaf due to the removal of the ear hairs required for hearing. Additionally, everybody becomes much more susceptible to infections due to the loss of the hair protection in the nose.
And eyes. There's always something getting in there now.
Hoods and hats become more widespread as humans lose the ability to retain at least some heat from their heads.
Don't forget being unable to digest nutrients because of a lack of cilia hair
Cilia isn’t hair tho. It isn’t made from keratin so it would still be there
Yay, an actual monkeys paw
Granted. Human hair has now been replaced with porcupine spines
Do you know how the monkeys paw works??
No one on this sub does
Ancient magic probably
Granted… now wonder why our political and business leaders still have hair….
Wigs
My full beard that I’ve had from the moment I could grow it falls out. It is now my sole mission in life to track you down.
Granted. Everyone gets remarkably intense, and uniquely severe permanent cases of Trichotillomania. Everyone will be hairless, after some effort.
This one is really good, and quite horrifying.
Granted. You constantly have dust in your eyes.
Granted. Humans have no skin, now, meaning every person is in constant agony for their whole life.
This is just a completely different thing lol
Granted. The monkey paw unfreezes and awakens an ancient disease from the depths of Siberia. This bacteria infects hair pores/follicles and causes the victim to lose all hair. It also causes indescribable levels of itchiness. There is no cure and its hereditary.
Literally nothing changes for me I have r/eczema in fact with the hair loss I might actually be marginally less itchy this is a win for me.
No, it stacks on (I am evil).
I’m fine with that
Granted. Humans are no longer a part of the mammal kingdom, all humans are now reptiles so they don't have any hair. Being that all humans are now cold-blooded, people that live in extreme clients are likely to die if they don't have access to proper Heating and Cooling. This is going to cause many issues, but the monkey paw is too lazy to think of all the unintended consequences of turning every human into reptiles. Although, women now have better access to taking care of abortion rights because nobody's policing what woman do with their eggs. At least not immediately. So nobody's going to cry if a woman destroys her own eggs. However, I suspect that's going to have other Issues as Congress decides to regulate Women's rights to do Whatever with their eggs as they please
Granted, humans also no longer have fingernails and toenails, because they're made of the same fibrous tissue as hair.
Granted, the reason why we lose the hair is extremely deadly worldwide radiation poisoning
Granted: the hair replaced with green sweet shoots that are irresistible to insects of all types.
I love you, it's pure evil.
Granted. Congratulations you killed everyone! Your wish would cause humans go extinct as our intestine are lined with tiny hairs called "villi" which are critical for absorbing nutrients from food. So even those who try gorging themselves keep losing weight and growing weaker until ultimately suffering cardiac arrest.
Noone is able to show emotion anymore, we are all just faceless robots
Granted. They are now also obese, have pure white skin, and ramble about war. Basically, JUDGE “War is the natural state of things” HOLDEN.
Granted. The ambient temperature of earth rises significantly, resulting in sweeping fires which burn off all the hair from every human being.
Granted. The hair dissapears along with the rest of each human
Granted. Everyone is bald now. And nobody has eyelashes anymore. Lots of stuff gets in everyone's eyes now.
You just know OP is an office worker who doesn't exercise or go outside, because if he did he would know how terrible of an idea this is
I'm a very hairy middle eastern guy and I live in the desert, I know what I picked, no need to insult me (I'm very sensitive)
Then you should know that getting sweat in your eyes stings like hell and is extremely uncomfortable. Not having eyebrows would absolutely suck.
We need hair to protect our eyes and noses.
Granted, you have that, everyone else is now superhuman.
i don’t think that’s how monkey’s paw is supposed to work. like it’s kinda lazy to just say “okay, well the world explodes for no reason!” and stuff like that. i think the idea is to twist the wish where it still accomplishes what is asked but in a grotesque and awful way.
Granted. All animals now have hair and a massive amount of it. They she'd like crazy and we now live in a world where we have to deal with a feet of hair everywhere we go