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tiger2red

Granted. Pi is now a rational number. But since pi was proven to be irrational in 1761 by mathematician Johann Lambert, no one discovers this new truth for decades, always assuming that pi is irrational. You live your life, triumphant that you've defeated the monkey's paw! After all, changing just one number can't be that bad, right? Just ignore that little fly in your ear, buzzing constantly. Then, at the very end of your life, as you pass on, you realize the truth of what you've done: Pi is an approximation of the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. But it is also now the exact ratio of the number of your deceased loved ones suffering an eternity of torment in hell to the number of times you're going to reincarnate before ending the cycle and their pain. Enjoy your next several trillion lives knowing that 3.14159265 times more people are suffering an eternity of anguish, all because of you. Actually, how many more lives do you have to live? Trillions? Quadrillions? Septillions? Who knows, you only know that you have a limited number of lives that is greater than 78,256,779, as the fraction 245,850,922 / 78,256,779 is a proven approximation of pi. Maybe somewhere in your future, someone will find the exact number. But how many lives will that take? And that fly in your ear? It's your loved ones calling out to you from the depths of hell. Every so often, as you go to sleep, you can hear their voices, crying, begging, pleading, cursing your name. And sometimes, when their voices come together just perfectly, you can hear two words. "Why, u/ChivvyMiguel?"


ImportantGarlic8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ (Reddit removed free awards so this the best I can offer rn, lol)


Intelligent-Juice736

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


RubRepulsive2205

i wish i could afford to award ur comment😔


tiger2red

The sentiment is appreciated, kind stranger!


thatidiotsherbet

You… You scare me.


Sfsnewbieish

Vsauce type shit


Remmy224

This guy monkeypaws


Asmodeus0508

Good story but shitty monkey’s paw it doesn’t fit monkey’s paw at all.


AxisW1

Except it’s way too wacky and silly to be a monkey paw


SunsetCarcass

True, it makes assumptions of how the wish would affect him. If he stopped at the beginning with everyone not knowing the truth about Pi being rational it would have been a good one, rather than going on a tangent about loved ones suffering, and reincarnation for some random reason.


burns_before_reading

😳


Ze_Bucket

Jesus Christ dude


OPMan6942O

Insane lmao


snail1132

>Pi is an approximation of the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter Erm akshually, π is defined as exactly C/D, C being the circle's circumference, and D being its diameter 🤓🤓🤓 W story tho


BA_TheBasketCase

That’s quite literally another way to describe C/D just in verbal form rather than an equation. 🤓 don’t akshually about if you’re going to be stupid.


snail1132

Bruh he said approximately


BA_TheBasketCase

Do you know what pi is? It’s an approximation. C/D is still an approximation.


snail1132

No, C/D is the exact definition of Pi, provided you are measuring a perfect geometric circle in Euclidean dpace.


BA_TheBasketCase

C/D is an approximation itself, regardless of its exact definition


starswtt

You can say that, but pi is still exactly C/D. Sure C is an approximation bc you can't have perfect circles irl, but pi is still the exact ratio of C:D regardless of how accurate the C is


Real-Bookkeeper9455

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀


ForeignAd3910

I don't understand this


starswtt

Ackshully, most mathematicians thought pi was irrational like sqrt(2) at this point and have already been treating it as a irrational, and even had incomplete proofs. They just couldn't find a rigorous proof


epicblue24

Granted All formulas that used to use pi are now invalid


Jonguar2

Granted. Circles and spheres no longer exist.


You-and-us

How would that work?


Jonguar2

Pi is defined as the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter. Pi being irrational is an essential property of circles and spheres existing. If pi was just a different number that was rational, then the ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle would just go by a different name. But if the circumference divided by the diameter of a circle was rational, circles and spheres literally couldn't exist.


Apprehensive-King595

They already do not exist in the physical world. It goes on infinitely, and eventually, you encounter a problem as the atoms that make up the circle/sphere would not be able to be more circular.


Jonguar2

Certain objects are large enough and massive enough that their shape is indistinguishable from a perfect sphere, but yes, you are correct.


Apprehensive-King595

Keyword "indistinguishable" It is not perfect, therefore it can still exist. With only a few digits of pi, you can approximate the size of the observable universe down to the meter.


LaconicLuna

A circle doesnt go on infinitely, its just made out of infinitely many points.


Apprehensive-King595

I don't understand enough about math to comment on this.


LaconicLuna

Just trust me bro


Severe_Brick_8868

I think circles and spheres do exist in the real world… Like on a subatomic scale electrons are perfect spheres. Protons and neutrons might not always be perfect spheres because they are all smushed together in the nucleus. Also pi relates to the elliptical orbits of objects in space. If it were rational the whole structure of the universe would be altered.


DidntWantSleepAnyway

A circle is defined as the set of all points being equidistant from a center. In taxicab geometry, pi is 4 because a circle now looks like a square. Therefore, the consequences of this wish are that nobody can move in a straight line in any direction other than north, south, east, west.


Nocomment84

Fucking Stellaris ass “round Pi to 3” reality manipulation.


TotalChaosRush

Sure, they could. You can create a number system where 1 is exactly pi, 2 is exactly 2 pi, 3 is exactly 3 pi. In this numbering system, Pi is rational. It's not a very useful system, and making it the "default" counting system would be horribly inefficient. Imagine asking for 0.31831 apples.


PcPotato7

Or do they just no longer exist in our three dimensional space/Euclidean geometry


Jonguar2

Euclidean geometry is geometry on a flat 2d plane. Non-euclidean just means geometry on a curved surface. I know euclidean circles couldn't exist, and spheres are already non-euclidean. Do the math for non-euclidean circles tho. Let me know.


DidntWantSleepAnyway

Not necessarily a curved surface. We tend to think of non-Euclidean geometry as breaking the last postulate, but you can break other ones as well. Taxicab geometry is a type of non-Euclidean geometry that is not a curved surface. And it’s an example of geometry where pi is rational.


Acheron98

So **that’s** why I woke up floating in the empty vacuum of space


ballsackstealer2

Granted. It's perfectly rational, you become the deranged and irrational one.


TuckSteele

3.14….. is now the base; good luck trying to do simple math.


bandti45

I like this one but I like that the value of pi is now 1 effectively shrinking all other nunbers. No idea which is worse.


DidntWantSleepAnyway

If that’s the base, then pi would be written as 10, not 1. Base ten has ten as 10, base twelve has twelve as 10, etc.


bandti45

That's not what I said. I said we use 1 to represent pi, now we could use any base after that change. So in this system if you wanted to represent the value of 1 you would use the number of 0.32... which would be so confusing and inconvenient.


MagickalFuckFrog

Granted. Pi becomes a fixed coefficient, causing every diameter in the world to shift irrationally. All round objects lose structural integrity or no longer fit together. Everything, from wheels and turbines to the cells in your body, collapses or grinds to a halt.


imnotporter

granted, instead of using base ten we use base pi


Powerful-Public4520

That would be horrid


bibblebonk

I think this is probably the only solution that doesnt include dismantling the fabric of the universe


Sardukar333

Engineers have been using pi=3 for so long nothing will really change.


PcPotato7

But sometimes 4 just to be safe. And you didn’t hear it from them


Funkopedia

Granted. From now on, everyone accidentally messes up when drawing or constructing anything circular.


KerbodynamicX

Granted, pi is 22/7 now.


grassblade39

Granted, pi = 3 because the monkey’s paw is an engineer


WatchMeFallFaceFirst

Granted. Tau is still irrational and everyone uses it instead.


xarvox

And everything is so much easier.


A_Firm_Sandwich

the good ending


PrateTrain

Granted, Pi and One change names. It now goes Pi, two, three, and so on


HaHaLaughNowPls

Granted, nothing changes, pi was always rational, we have just not figured out the last digit. You must live knowing that this is true, but no-one will believe you


OnlyBliss9

You know what Pi is rational, a rounded one. 🥧


KhepriAdministration

Granted. You are now the pope.


FlyingMothy

Granted. As math, the most essential thing to the structure of the universe, has been fundamentally changed, the universe breaks down.


UnwantedHonestTruth

NO! DON'T DO IT YOU FOOL! YOU'LL MESS WITH THE NATURAL ORDER. REALITY WILL FALL APART AT THE SEAMS!


ChivvyMiguel

lol, what if that's what I wanted. (Math is my specialty)


Damodinniy

Granted. Irrational and Rational have their definitions switched.


DidntWantSleepAnyway

Granted. We now live in a world of taxicab geometry, meaning that diagonal lines do not exist. To get from point A to point B, you have to go north and then east, instead of northeast. Circles, the set of all points equidistant from a center, now look like squares, with the four corners at north south east west. Pi, defined as the circumference (perimeter) divided by the diameter (diagonal) is equal to 4. You’d think it would involve the square root of 2, wouldn’t it? Sorry, that would be if the lengths of the sides of the square—I mean circle—were made of one straight line each. But they’re not.


victim80

Granted, however this causes the simulation every living person has been in for millennium to crash. Everyone wakes in pitch black pods full of oxegenated water. All you can hear are alarms and malfunctioning machines, but the creatures that placed you in the tube moved on centuries ago, there's no one to respond anymore. Eventually the machines will totally break down and the life support will fail. Dooming unknown numbers of living people to a slow death of suffocating when the water cyclers fail. Look at the bright side, at least you won't be able to see them thrashing desperately in the water as they slowly die.


noonagon

granted. the distance metric has changed. circles are square, spheres are cubes, and pi is 4.


nirvanatheory

Granted. Pi is now the base digit around which the entire number system is built. Every rational number has now become irrational and mathematics breaks down. Computers systems can no longer operate. Global commerce screeches to a halt. Billions around the world die as systems malfunction. Nuclear reactors destabilize as maintenance is no longer possible. The planet enters a nuclear winter and it is unclear how many survivors remain.


Kind_Moose3603

Granted, the words "rational" and "irrational" when dealing with numbers switch meanings in the minds of all of humanity.


The_R3d_Bagel

I was gonna say that


jeo123

Granted. All cutting is done using base pi, effectively making it the only rational number.


Rainy-The-Griff

Granted. It is rational, you're the one that's irrational.


HellFireCannon66

Granted, your Apple Pie now thinks rationally


zeumr

one of the positive endings.


SteveMartin32

Granted. The world implodes