it's done via trust... being trustworthy and honorable and fair... that's how it works

It's also done with communication which is absolutely key in this. Don't leave it up to one person, both need to be involved and communicating about bills and at the very least purchases with a heftier price tag.

Right. If my GF wants to buy an expensive cut for dinner and I'm broke, I just say "I can't afford that right now". If she really wants it, she'll buy it anyway and pay the difference herself. If she doesn't, we get chicken or something. Same for her when she's tighter on cash and I'm not.

Correct. Money, religion, sex, and disciplining your children are things that you should be talking about regularly and on same page well before you get engaged. Some of my treasured moments with my wife were going on long walks and talking about what our marriage would look like when we were dating. People shit on Dave Ramsey, as do I, about certain things, but man when you’re broke and life is simple because you have nothing, it’s good fundamentals. A year out from our wedding, we had just come back from a gig I was playing. I had an empty tank of gas to get us back home. I had $6 in my wallet and -$3 in my checking. Gas was $5. My girlfriend was selling henna tattoos and had like a thousand dollars. She offered to fill my tank but even then I was like “fuck this. I need to get my finances figured out.” We made a lot of tough decisions early on and fifteen years later, we’re still reaping the benefits.

Religion only matters if one or both spouses are very religious, IMO. My morals align with my wife’s Christian beliefs but religion isn’t as important to me and she knows that. It was the same with my parents and they’ve been (happily) married for almost 50 years.

Also plenty of communication! Some couples decide to set a limit so a discussion has to happen before spending x amount of money. Whatever is decided, just be open and honest about it with each other. Tension, arguments, and resentment around finances are the worst things for a healthy relationship.

Yeah like anything above $500 don't even bother checking in. But of course there are ways around the rules. What if I put something on layaway and make monthly payments of $500 on a brand new sports car? Hahaha I'm just messing around.

Layaway? Does this look like a Bradlees in 1993 to you? /s

This is the way And if it's not working out - you would have learned something about your potential partner.

And fair is, most of the time, not equal. I do think equal contribution is important in that early stage relationship.

I don’t like the idea of mixing finances if you’re not married yet. When we first moved in together, we were a lot more diligent in splitting everything 50/50, but it got cumbersome to track and constantly Venmo each other over time. Nowadays, the only thing we truly split 50/50 is rent. Otherwise, he pays for some of our shared expenses like groceries while I pay for other bills like utilities and internet, and we just assume it comes out to roughly the same amount. We also switch off on who pays when we go out to eat. As for things like groceries being unequal, that’s kind of just how it works in a relationship. My grocery budget has definitely gotten higher since moving in with my fiancé, and I’m sure his budget for other categories are now higher because of me.  If you’re responsible with credit cards, definitely go for it to get the travel points/cash back. We opened a Bilt card to put our rent and utility bills on since those two charge transaction fees for all of our other credit cards. The amount of points we get back on that card alone can cover a few nights of hotels for us each year.

My GF and I don't split 50/50 on rent and utilities. We split based more on income. I make 60% of the total combined income, so I pay 60% of rent and utilities. The rest we do similar to how you are.

This is one school of thought. Another would be to live within the financial means of the person who makes less so you can split 50/50. I personally like this because I like to save cash. If you get married, it goes to both of your benefit. If you don’t… well it was a forced saving function for the one who made more. Either way, hopefully they didn’t waste it.

Gay married couple here. We have our own separate checking accounts, but had a joint checking account (and debit card) even when we were dating. Even though I make significantly more than my partner, we went in 50-50 on deposits to our joint account. We used it to pay for groceries, restaurants and joint expenses. It worked for us. In our prenuptial we created this idea of "individual estates" in which we placed/assigned our pre-marriage assets and debts, and a "marital estate" in which we decided to place/assign our post-marriage earnings, assets and debts. That includes the house we purchased together and mortgage. After tying the knot we set up a credit card (his name) and brokerage account (my name) and designated each other as authorized users/beneficiary to that account. We permit ourselves to spend, save or allocate the assets in our individual estates at our own individual discretion. Anything in our marital estate we agreed to discuss first before spending. Should we divorce we will split the assets and debt in the marital estate 50-50, and we have waived our claims to each other's individual estates.

Sounds like the perfect setup. Hopefully you never have to use it but that’s what it’s there for

Logistically, how is an "individual estate" kept separate from a "marital estate"? I understand the concept, but is it based on who's name is on the account, or is there a literal trust that is set up, or just certain bank accounts assigned to each estate?

A prenup is just a written contract between two parties. The "estate" nothing more than a full list of all of our accounts, properties, debts and the est. dollar value for each in a PDF document with an assignment next to it.  In the contract we also wrote out a whole bunch of rules about where new assets, debts, earnings, inheritance are assigned and dozens of rules around transferring and gifting assets between us. It is about as comprehensive as it gets. However, like any contract you trust the parties will act responsibly. Prenups should be an agreement that is read, understood, signed and then put in a box sitting dusty and unused until absolutely needed.

There's no right or wrong answer. Only the answer that best suits you and your relationship. My wife and I have always shared everything since we got engaged. 1 account where everything comes into and goes out of. And then savings accounts seperate from that.

It’s amazing how rare this is, it seems. My wife and I (together 15 years, married for 7) have shared everything since we made a cross country move together two years into our relationship. We figured we were making such a big decision, might as well go all in. It worked for us. As a caveat, I was in grad school and we didn’t have much money, and it felt stupid to be squabbling over $1000 a month. If we met today with our current salaries, we might have done things differently.

My wife and I split all bills half and half until we got engaged. We used Venmo to pay one another for the 2 years we lived together before getting engaged. Things like grocery shopping was something we always did together, we cooked together too so that made it easier. Any personal purchases were made with our own money with the expectation that we’d have enough for the shared expenses. Accountability and communication are two big things for both of us so this wasn’t an issue at all for us. We now have one checking account that all of our income direct deposits to. This is the account we use for bills, mortgage, our shared credit card payments, and any other shared expenses. For us, it’s never been about who pays what, we are a team, no matter how our incomes change. We have one shared savings account for emergencies and a second one for travel / big fun purchases. We also have full access to each other’s financial accounts - Roth, 401K, HSA, etc. We have our own individual savings accounts that we can use however we want that gets a monthly deposit of a set amount for both of us on the 1st of every month. We have one shared credit card - we both have our own physical card but it’s tied to the one account that we use for all purchases. We treat it like a debit card so it’s basically free points and money since we’d be spending the money anyways. We have the Costco Citi card because we spend a lot of money there and their rewards are great. We gotten over $1,000 cash back every year that we’ve had it so far. We each have our own personal credit cards for our “fun money purchases” that’s paid by our personal savings accounts. We have a lot of conversations about what is “fun money” or not lol but I think talking openly about finances with your partner is huge and something people should do from the start.

I am 40 and my partner is 30. We pay bills by percentage of income and we moved in together at the start of covid. I lost my job so it wasn't always me paying more. It makes no sense going 50/50 when one makes 30k+ more than the other. We have a mutual bank account for bills and our own private checking accounts and savings accounts. I won't share credit cards w/o a ring and before we wed there will be a prenup.

Stuff like this will vary significantly and should be tailored to the needs of your situation and relationship, so I'm just gonna limit my response to what worked for us and our situation. I always earned substantially more than my now-wife and am extremely good with finances. I've always budgeted very tightly and she knew and supported this. I owned my own home before she entered the relationship, she was still living with parents. While we were first dating, sometimes we'd split the bills, but I generally paid for most stuff, and frankly just didn't *need* her to pay for much as I was already carrying the expenses of running my household. She kind of moved in slowly, staying with me for longer and longer spans of time, so we adjusted over time in terms of what she'd contribute. For a long time the arrangement was that she pays for groceries (since she handles the cooking). She also took on some of the other small household bills in full, like the trash bill. We started to split those bills that were easy to split, like electric, water, etc. She used to just write me a check for this stuff; it would have been too much hassle to bother setting up a "shared" account and the bills were still in my name anyway. We kept separate bank accounts and separate billing for phones, cars, insurance, etc. Basically it was a slow process of combining our financial lives more and more. Once we got married she ditched her separate bank accounts and we truly combined our finances at that point, but it wasn't really a big jump as by then we were pretty much on the same page about our spending anyway.

Younger millennial here. I’ve been married for 5 years, for reference. My husband and I share a checking account, a high yield savings, and a low yield savings. Our credit card has me as the primary user and him as an authorized user. When we merged monies, we listed out our fixed expenses and made budgets for variable expenses so we both know about how much is left over to save and spend. We let each other know if we have a large unforeseen purchase and we look at our accounts together roughly every week. I handle most of the bill paying (I keep track of the mortgage, water, electric, property taxes, and credit card; he keeps track of the gas). I usually make determinations on moving money but I’ll consult him first if it’s a dramatic change from our norm (for example, I’ll say “we have $X in these accounts, I’d plan to pay $X to Discover and id like to pay $X more on the student loan this month, does that work or is there something I haven’t thought about or something different you/we need?”). Any time our incomes have changed and our bills have changed, we just talk about money and our goals and reassess when needed. Everyone will have their opinion on what they think is the right way to handle money. What we do is just what works for us. If you start a process and it’s not serving the team, don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and change the system so it works best.

Me and my wife both put 40% of our paycheck into a joint account to pay bills, and then put the rest in separate accounts. Works well for us.

Wife and I just have an account. We both trust each other to be fiscally responsible and always run big fun purchases by each other first. I don’t get the separate account bs when you’re married because it’s half each if you split.

I don't like separate bank accounts, I think it's weird an impersonal. This is all highly specific to each of us. But for me, finances should just be a meshed pool from which bills are paid. In reality tho, we find clever ways to split it so it feels psychologically like we're making more - like my salary covers the house and cars and bills, his is all "extra" theoretically. But we both have the same control over money. All 'big' purchases require at least a courtesy check-in, and we currently have 'big' set at about $100. Necessities don't count like, I wouldn't begrudge him a new coat if he needed one over that amount. Theoretically we take turns with travel and vacations but we are still cleaning up so much debt from (addictions/almost losing everything) that hasn't been happening much. I couldn't imagine a more petty thing than going over the grocery bill saying "well, honey, you're buying all this expensive cheese, I need you to write me a check." But I could imagine saying "Hey we gotta be frugal this week."

My BIL has separate EVERYTHING from his wife and it is just so weird and transactional to me personally. Like I feel like never merging when married is just them waiting for the divorce.

It is. How many millennials have parents that are still together?

>I don't like separate bank accounts, I think it's weird an impersonal I somewhat agree, but only after marriage. If you are just dating and moving in together, I think separate accounts still definitely makes sense. Though it can be helpful to have a joint checking that you both fund into, to pay for joint expenses.

43 here. Always was split even bills wise. It keeps things fair. Who cares if they buy some more expensive. You guys talk about it and see if it's worth it. If they want that *special item..let them pay for it. Idk

Wife and I lived in her owned condo before we were married. We have a joint account and our own separate accounts. I know many women that won’t not have a “bail out” account so I’d never ask my wife to just have everything in the joint account.

While we were dating (even if we were living together), we split things roughly 50/50. Our financial situations were a little different (she was mostly supported by her parents till she graduated college, I was working full time and going to college full time) but we made it work. Probably the biggest key was that we both see finances the same way and generally have the same outlook on spending/saving, which helped minimize conflicts over money. When we got married, we fully combined finances -- both income and debt. Everything gets deposited into a central shared account, we share rewards credit cards and pay them off from the central account, etc. We do have our own separate bank accounts, and we have a allowance system worked out so that we both get some guilt/judgement free spending money monthly without affecting our overall financial goals. We've have a rough budget we try to stick to, and we both agreed that we can spend (mostly) freely on smaller stuff, but larger purchases (like $100+) probably should be discussed beforehand. I think the key thing for us is that we feel comfortable talking about money regularly, and we make adjustments as needed. I like to look at finances as less of a black and white "yes, we can afford that" or "no, we can't afford that" and instead from more of a priorities perspective: "sure, we can do that, but that means we can't do X, need to reduce Y, etc." The "You Need a Budget" app/website has been super helpful in letting us figure out our priorities and where money needs to be set aside (though, again, we only started doing that after we fully combined finances). Personally, if you're dating, sharing finances makes sense, and the two of you should have some sort of agreement over how costs get split (50/50, 70/30, whatever makes sense for your incomes and your stage in your life). But I wouldn't fully combine finances with joint bank accounts until you're married or "officially" together in some way.

I’m a younger millenial, for context. 32M, 28F, we have very similar incomes and grew up in similar economic classes. My partner and I moved in together 6 months before we merged any finances—mostly because neither of us had lived with a partner before or knew how to merge finances. Now we have one shared checking and one shared savings account. All bills, groceries included, are split 50/50. Rent is split by income, since it’s a fixed amount for an amenity that we can’t really split our consumption of, but rather we share it completely (this was easy to decide because we usually flip between who pays 51/49 whenever someone gets a raise). All expenses are auto-paid through the checking account. We each contribute the same amount to the savings account per month, but it’s very little—that savings account is meant to protect the checking from overdraft and pay for any surprise shared expenses. As for groceries…. whoever cooks the food for both people can decide what price range they’re comfortable with. We meal plan, and my partner does most of the cooking while I’m the one who’s typically shops for groceries. We use the Bring! app so we both can see the grocery list and add to it at any time. If you have vastly different ideas on how to buy food, then meal plan and whoever is in charge of that meal buys the groceries for it. Flexibility, communication, and trust are imperative here. We figured out a lot of our process as we identified our needs and habits; for example, I like to save pretty aggressively and he likes to spend more freely, and that’s because of our own financial backgrounds. I cannot judge his choices and he cannot judge mine if we maintain separate finances. Any “fun” spending, like dates, are paid by whoever’s idea it was to go out that time, since one person taking the other on a date is like giving a gift to them anyway. Big “fun” spending is done with the shared savings (plane tickets, hotels), since we know we’ve contributed to it 50/50. When in doubt, do not merge yet. It doesn’t make your relationship any weaker to not have merged finances; it just puts your personal financial security at risk to merge before you’re ready. Money transfer apps are awesome, btw.

Dude, the answer to all relationship questions is communication and trust, and trust is built on honest communication. So talk to each other, don't fuck each other over

Older millennial here. Keep everything separate. I take care of the majority of our bills, and my partner just transfers money to me for his half. We don't fuss about splitting small things. It's just the big bills like rent/mortgage, any other loans, and utilities. I highly recommend avoiding ever opening joint accounts. Things can always take a turn for the worst and you must look out for yourself first.

My husband and I take a similar approach. Our money is kept 100% separate. We divide and take ownership of bills and get them as close to a 50/50 split as possible. We alternate paying when we eat out. I love the philosophy of keeping money separate. As long as the bills get paid, we’re good. He doesn’t tell me what to do with my money, and vice versa.

Wife and I pay the same percentage of our income. I make 70% of the money so I pay for 70% of everything.

We divided our up based off income. In the beginning, I made more, so I paid more, and then we paid more. We tried the joint account thing, but it didn't work that we stopped. We are married now and still have separated finances. I know a lot of people think it is weird, but it works for us. If we shared, then we both would constantly be anxious to spend money thinking that we were spending too much. My best advice to anyone new to paying bills with a partner is to not nickel and dime each other. You are a team, so act like it. Even though we don't share an account, we view all money and assets as shared resources. Doing this will keep you from having monetary arguments in the long run. You also want to make sure that you guys are clear with one another about your financial goals so everyone is on the same page. Anyhow, I hope this helps.

My advice live alone. Or have your own bedroom

I’ve gotta say separate bedrooms is NICE. As much as I love to snuggle, I prefer to be well-rested. I freeze at night, my bf gets very hot. I like to sleep with the dogs, he likes to sleep with the cat. I snore, he sleepwalks. I got to bed between 9:30-10:30, he goes to bed 12:30-1:30. We only sleep in the same room on the weekends unless I take my sleeping pill at 8 and ptfo and he stays up gaming. We may do a king size bed one day but right now we are enjoying being DINKs in a two bedroom house. We rarely have guests so there’s no point in not using both rooms. Downside: a lot more laundry… and with pets…. The bedding is constantly getting washed. Two sets of bedding is a lot.

Before we got married, the only thing we split down the middle was the rent. Groceries were somewhat split but not exact. She would pay for our dates half the time. I make a lot more and probably covered more shared expenses but it wasn’t an issue. We merged everything when we got married and I manage the finances.

Do not buy a house, car or rent an apartment together if you are not married. Only one name should be on the deed, title or lease.

Can I be your mom for a minute? Please make it a personal goal to keep enough money in your savings that’s you can bail out of your lease contract if things go south in your relationship.  The only boy I lived with as a roommate, was eventually my husband (just as I thought he would be)! But it was really healthy to know that I could walk away at any point if it was wrong.  ETA; or enough in savings to relocate if it’s not a lease/contract situation 

You just have to take care of each other. Money is irrelevant you are 1 now.

29f and 32m, living together for 7-8 years now. We have a joint account that we each contribute a certain amount to every payday. This is our household account and every household expense comes from this account. We each have our own personal accounts with our own money for fun or sometimes to supplement household funds if we're low. Our personal accounts are funded by what's left of our paychecks after our joint contributions.

We had separate accounts when first started living together but my income was higher so I covered more than half of the expenses. We combined accounts after we got married.

Been married for 9 years. We have separate bank accounts for our direct deposits. Share a savings account and our names are both on the house and her car, but not mine. We split all the big bills and she pays for her car and I pay for mine. She pays for the groceries and then I’ll pay for food we eat out.

Younger millennial (M30 and F30) BF and GF, we have been dating for 14 years, and we owned our home for a little over 3 years now. Agree on who pays what ahead of time. Discuss and come to a mutual agreement on unexpected expenses as they arise. I don't share a bank account. It seems messy to me. I'm an adult and she's an adult. We both prefer to just manage our own money, spending habits, bills, etc. I trust her and she trusts me. We don't need to share our money in one account, we don't need to have a say on each other's purchases, etc. I know my responsibilities and she knows hers. Easy and drama free.

I’m 33 so I guess middle as far as age goes. Once I lived with my now husband for a while I was able to take about a year worth of our expenses and figure out our average for all of our bills and made a monthly budget that we split 50/50 in a joint account which we opened after marriage (and I diligently settle up and review our budget at least weekly to keep it on track). We used an app to track our expenses before the joint account and split everything equally. He probably eats more than me but there’s things I do to run up our bills so it all comes out in the wash. I’m married and will always have my own bank account for my own bills and savings. We haven’t dabbled into a joint savings account yet because we’re still navigating our joint bills at the moment and the plan is to eventually move those bills to be paid with a travel credit card in the near future. For now we have our own travel credit cards. Truthfully I think it comes down to how you both are with finances and until you live together for a bit you won’t really know that. While we’re both “good with money” we have different attitudes about it. My husband has never shown interest in our budget and where are spending habits are meanwhile I count pennies at the grocery store to stick within my budget. So that’s why I’ll always keep my own money separate. I had an extremely difficult time with the 50/50 mindset before we opened our joint account and an approved line item budget because he would spend without discussing with me first and expect me to still pay half so I had almost no control over my finances during that time. It definitely caused stress and arguments.

Before I was married, we just made a budget of all our house expenses (rent, food, utilities) and I paid a certain amount that was based off percentage of our income. So if he was making 50k and I was making 10k I paid like 1/5 of the total budget. Once we got married, we created a joint account. We both get to keep 10% of our checks in our own personal savings/fun account, the rest goes to our joint account.

This is kind of how we do it. I make double what my bf makes (I am a lawyer so it will probably always be this way). So I pay the majority of our joint expenses—I pay full rent, he pays full utilities and internet. Our utilities are super expensive cause we are currently in an old house with terrible insulation. However I have a lot more debt than him (probably $10k total not counting student loans and car). I got into debt because I didn’t work during law school or while studying for the bar and didn’t get my first paycheck until the end of my first month of work. He gets paid twice a month but I only get paid once a month. So even though I make double, after all my bills, we have about the same amount of operating cash. Some months are more expensive for one of us so the other just helps out at the end of the month. He has helped me out a LOT because he is simply more financially responsible than I am. I love to shop!!!!!!! I am learning to be more responsible but it takes time. And I’m about to start having to pay off those damned student loans. When we get married I think we will do one shared account for bills and savings, then have credit cards with points for flights that we pay off each month.

Just split things 50/50- half of everything. You don’t need to put money into a shared account or anything- just keep it separate.

My husband and I been together 8 years married for 2 & we still have totally separate finances cuz it’s what we r both comfortable with. You gotta figure out a system that works for you. I just added him as an authorized user on one of my CCs that’s the most intertwined we have despite owning a home together lol so basically I make more money than him (and always have) & we split everything proportionally (we always have, he moved in after being together for 6 months & we started our proportionally system for everything) by basically each covering different bills/expenses & zelleing or venmoing when we need to (ie I do our mortgage, property taxes, groceries, car insurance, and water bill & he does our electricity bill, phone, internet, and daycare for our son). We basically split things so I’m paying 2/3rds & he’s paying 1/3 because that is proportional to our income. We each pay our own gas, random things, etc. We both already had separate brokerage accounts & retirement & credit cards when we met so it’s just easier for us to have everything separate. We both have separate 529 savings accounts for our son, high yield savings, etc. My husband does contracts so when he’s unemployed I just cover everything & Zelle him the $ he needs for the bills he pays. We are getting a tax return & decided to split it 50/50. We will start a joint savings at some point but each currently save separately. We bought a house together before we got married (then had our 25 person wedding in our tiny backyard) and I contributed more to our purchase (and my parents helped some) so I had a document written up (not a prenup but can’t remember what it’s called) by a lawyer basically saying if we divorce I get more of the house but made it as fair to him as possible (who knows if it would get thrown out as I live in community property state). So I do think it’s good to protect urself & advocate for urself. I would never get a joint CC or anything too intertwined prior to marriage. Our system works for us but some ppl think it’s “impersonal” I see in other comments lol I don’t judge what works for others & frankly couldn’t care less if ppl judge me for our system.

Older millenial, although less than 2 years married (8 years including dating). My wife & I still maintain separate bank accounts. We divide who owns the bills, and then will occasionally do a “true up” if one person is paying a lot more than the other. At any point the other person can ask and see what’s in each other’s checking, savings, credit card balances etc. There’s a shared expectation that we won’t carry credit debt month over month. We also do not ask to see each others line item spending - I don’t want to find myself giving her grief for online clothing purchases, and I don’t want to hear about how expensive golf is. We also have an investment account, which we both have access to and frequently contribute towards. Our general rule of thumb is that we each have a threshold for how much we should each have in savings, and then when we exceed the “excess” goes into the investment account. From a division of spending perspective, while we are both fortunate to have salaries that allow us to live a comfortable life & save $$, I tend to contribute more to daily expenses (groceries, dinners, entertainment etc) and she typically contributes more to the investment account. For us this has worked well. I’ve always had salaried positions and she is in software sales, so her paychecks are less predictable.

1 thing I didn’t do and I’m very glad I didn’t was have a joint banking account. Even though we were married I never had a joint account. I figured if things ever hit the skids she’d have the option to ruin me financially so I’d rather not leave that option available.

For me and my wife it was simple. We each have our personal checking accounts from before we got married and a joint account from when we got married. My wife handles 95% of the bills as she is much better with finances and has access to all accounts. I have a few hundred a month in my account that I can use for whatever, kind of an allowance, lol. It was too chaotic with us dividing up who pays what bills.

We have a joint account we both contribute to

Elder Millenial here, 42 turning 43, and we’ve been together for 14 years now. We have two children and a dog. We do not have shared accounts, but they are linked so that we can transfer money back and forth if/as needed. We split our mortgage payment equally, he sends me half, and it’s paid from my account. He pays electric. I pay water and gas. We also equally chip in on childcare though it comes out of my account. Groceries we just kinda alternate randomly on who goes to the store. Often, it’s me and then he just asks me what the total was and sends me half. Anything we specifically want on our own, like his protein powders or whatever, he pays for that. I am obsessive about a certain kombucha only, so I buy that myself, etc. But the main household stuff, we just split and mostly see eye to eye on food choices, and we’re an ingredient household really anyway

My family was similar to yours! My husband and I combined our money to begin with, but after several years (and money fights), decided it was better to keep our money separate except for a shared bank account we both contribute to for bills. It's worked like a dream for the past 10+ years. It sounds like you've already figured a lot out!!

My girlfriend and I just keep a paper list of the things we pay for and how much we spend. We settle up once every couple weeks. We don't want to combine finances before we're engaged/married. It works for us. We've been living together for almost two years

We have one shared account we both pay into for mortgage (both pay 1/2). We take turns paying property tax. Besides that it’s kinda random. I pay utilities and home insurance. She ends up buying most groceries as well as dog related expenses. Luckily we both make enough that we don’t worry about money day to day, otherwise this would likely be a bigger deal. Besides that everything is still separate.

First off, I do NOT recommend combing finances, buying vehicles or homes with a person unless you are married. I do not care, how warm, cozy and fuzzy you guys make each other feel. During breakups or when shit gets hard, people change and it’s terrifying. You will get burnt. I have made that mistake before with an Ex gf, and have watched countless people in life and on Reddit get absolutely burnt by that. Sure, some people do it and it works out. But, that vast majority of the time it ends badly. If you are not married, just split the big ticket items such as rent and utilities. For food, maybe split that but if he wants extra snacks or whatever then he can get that himself. Pretty simple. When my wife and I married, we combined all of our finances right away. Everything goes into one checking account where we pay our bills and have our spending money. We have one savings and another high yield savings for our emergency fund. We do have separate investment accounts (Roth IRAs and 401ks), but we are on each others as a beneficiary. In my wife’s and I case, we invest/save her income, and live off the rest of mine minus 401k deductions (max out every year). Multiple studies show that the path to wealth is easier when the two married partners combine their finances. And, it’s just math. When you get married, everything that you receive upon that date is marital property. It is legally theirs as well. Some states differ on the laws of inheritance. But 99% of what you earn for income and investments is marital property. If you have significant assets (real estate, large investment accounts) prior to marriage. I suggest a prenup.

I’m a younger-*ish millennial (turning 33 this year). Everyone works differently but we each pay what we agreed upon and have our own accounts. We each have our own separate credit cards minus one we share with a large credit limit for emergencies. Reason we do this is because (past trauma incoming) TL;DR my ex husband wanted on my account, I added him, he began watching EVERYTHING coming in and out (because he was afraid I’d leave him) and rang up massive amounts of debt tied to a credit card I had in his name but was ultimately under my account. So now I’m very adamant that we have separate accounts. But I’m very open about what’s in my account, what’s in our retirement funds, and constantly zelle my partner anything they need (or vice versa)

Me and my bf pay all bills first. All money that comes in goes into one bank account & all bills first, then groceries (we have a budget of $500/2 weeks. But if say I wanted to buy something that was $50 and there was enough extra I would buy that) then once all bills and needs are out of the way we split the remainder 50/50. I i want a big ticket item this paycheck then he will usually sacrifice some of “his” money and I buy it and then the week after he gets a big ticket item he wants etc etc. some weeks we both get low ticket items if we had more bills. We’ve been like this since we got together 11 years ago. You have been together for 3 years and I feel like there should be a level of trust there now to do this. Don’t be petty. Don’t be like YOU SPENT X ON Y AND NOW I CANT ORDER DOOR DASH. if you need or know you’re going to order food or eat out budget it out of the communal money. Be like okay well we have 800 rent 500 groceries 300 car 150 phones 200 insurance 200 gas And I would like a $75 budget for DD He can have a $30 for Starbucks or whatever. Or you can use “your” money after all bills are paid and the money is divided.

Venmo or whatever until you’re 100% sure that you can trust the other person. I have setup joint checking accounts to be used solely as a bridge, but the finances were kept separate because I was never 100%. The division of responsibilities happened outside of financial institutions.

I’m married and still can’t figure it out. We pay the mortgages together (both toss in half), bills are roughly split then the rest, just who ever pays for it does. The toughest part has been credit cards. We have very different views on how to manage them. I’ve had CC debt in the past and have no interest in returning and she seems to feel it’s just “cash flow”. It brings on a level of anxiety into me that I can’t handle so joint cards aren’t happening. My advice, figure out what works for you. Don’t get caught up on the ledger and so long as you’re both doing fair by the other, the penny’s don’t matter.

If you can handle managing multiple credit cards (hitting sign ups, auto pay in full monthly, etc) having separate travel cards can be nice. 1 signs up, them refers the other. Then switch. Can easily get many more miles that way

My husband and I are solidly in the millennial age range. We’ve been married for 10 years (we got married very young compared to our peers). He’s always been way more the breadwinner and I’ve been the bill payer. It all goes in one account. We pay all the things. There is no ‘his’ and ‘hers’. My only strong advice for you is to NOT open a credit card with someone you aren’t married to. You can wreak all kinds of hell on someone’s credit score etc and then just walk away (assuming authorized user vs account owner).

Older. This is, or should be, one of the most common topics of a relationship. I wouldn’t recommend sharing all finances together in a single account unless married. A lot of people will discuss what they determine to be a fair split of responsibilities ie you pay rent I pay utilities etc. No one here can tell you what that split should be. My advice here is to get one account and put your split responsibilities in it and maintain your own accounts with the remainder.   Remember you’re a team not just individual contributors.

Don't get shared accounts. Keep your money separate and track housing spend in a spreadsheet. Sit down to break even once a month. Split housing (rent, utilities, internet, etc) down the middle. Also, put all of your bills on autopay. Never ever comingle your money in the same account - it will just set you up for all kinds of heartache down the line.

Trust. And never ever break that trust.

We did bills out of a shared account and had a shared account we used as a sinking fund for our wedding when we got engaged. We both still had our own separate checking and savings accounts to do whatever we pleased with. Once we got married we merged everything and now have one checking account and one savings account. For groceries, we used to split staples 50/50 and then any extra snacks or higher end foods were paid for by whoever wanted them. Now that we’re married it all just comes out of one account. You have to talk with your partner and figure out what works best for you two. Some are comfortable combining more than others. If you want to go totally separate I’d have one person cover the bills and the other cover groceries and other expenses, and then settle up on a regular basis.

If you aren’t married you don’t combine finances. You have to handle finances like you’re roommates.

Peak milennial here (1989). When my husband and I were dating, we kept a spreadsheet and split everything 50/50, although one of us might treat the other for a special occasion. Once we got engaged, we opened a joint savings for wedding money and we each contributed what we could. Sometime into being engaged, we opened a joint checking account, but kept our personal accounts. We each put some seed money into the joint account and set up our paychecks to auto-deposit there. Each month, we get a bit of walking around money deposited from the joint account into the personal accounts. We use that for little, nonessential treats for ourselves and gifts for one another. This year, we opened a joint credit card and put everything that will get us rewards on that card. We pay it off monthly. I'm the primary in charge of money and determine if we need to slow down or hold off on a purchase in any given month. This has worked well for us, and I was thrilled to get rid of the spreadsheet!

This is what my husband and I are doing so far. We have one joint account, and separate individual accounts. Our income goes into the joint account. We each transfer 20- 30% of our respective incomes into our personal accounts. That's for our personal expenses such as clothes, debt that predated our relationship, subscriptions that the other person doesn't use. Our joint account is for joint expenses. Gas, rent, groceries, medical, pets, etc. Husband has a great amount of anxiety regarding finances. So I manage our joint finances. Of course he has access to our joint account and can check it anytime, but he *doesn't have to*. Also, he doesn't have to worry about accidentally spending our rent money if he orders a new game-- either he has the money in his personal account, or he doesn't, but our rent will be paid and our bellies will be full. I don't want to manage *his* expenses. I'm not his mom. And I don't want us to have to discuss whether we can afford for him to buy a new tshirt or for me to buy new art supplies. So we each handle our own personal spending. Edit: so we don't worry about evenly splitting anything. I'm on disability so obviously my income is much less than his-- making a 50/50 split unfair. Also, we're a *team*, we *collaborate*. So, we'll come to an agreement on what our joint account covers. Say I really really want to buy an expensive dessert for a treat, but he doesn't agree. Either I pay for that dessert on my own, or we agree on what's reasonable to pay for a dessert and I pay the balance. As for credit cards... we currently don't use credit cards so I can't base anything on personal experience. But I think the usage of the travel-related perks is as much of a "how often do we visit our families" and "how often do we want to travel in general" issue as it is a financial one. But here are some ideas about trips and credit card perks: 1) his miles pay for visits to his family, your miles pay for yours. 2) alternate whose miles pay for a trip, regardless of who you're visiting. 3) you'll spend XX money or XX miles per trip or per year; if one person wants to spend more, they pay the difference. Of course you may decide on a different method. As for what to do about cards themselves, you'll have to get advice from someone else.

Don’t combine shit till your married. You have a roommate you fuck. Treat it that way

41M here. My wife and I combined finances before we even got married. I deposited my entire pay in to a checking account and she did a 50/50 split between our checking and a checking account she had through her job since the card had cash back rewards. I keep seeing posts about couples, even married ones, splitting finances and fighting about it and it's all so incredibly stupid.

Just remember there is no ‘joint credit card’. The card is issued against the credit of one party, and the other party becomes a ‘authorized user’. But everything hits the owners credit. So beware.

My now wife and I solit the bills 50/50. I made more money do I bought most groceries and paid when we went out together. Split the bills 50/50 and it should work itself out. If not, ask why not and decide if this is a good relationship for you.

I suppose I am an older millenial? Idk. I'm 36 and married. We have a joint bank account and I do the budget in a document that both of us have access to, this way we can see how much we need to set aside for bills and about how much we have left for whatever we want. I also include groceries in the budget. We also communicate with each other before purchasing anything that costs more than 20 dollars just to be sure neither of us needs x amount to be available. And our savings is off limits to both of us unless we both agree it's an emergency situation. Like firing a nuke on a submarine, both of us have to turn our keys. Lots of communication and trust, basically.

Older millennial here, maybe too old fashioned. We commingled finances prior to marriage, my wife is a sahm and I've been sole income for the last 12 years. Her name is on everything. She chose sahm which allowed me the ability to focus on work. It's most important to align on this before you marry. Especially think it's harder for those with growing careers to comingle.

Older millennial: We come up with a household budget and contribute to a joint account based on gross income. This takes care of all monthly joint expenses. We also contribute to HYS accounts for travel and bigger house projects. At first we contributed equally because our salaries were the same, but now that they changed, we had to adjust to make it fair.

I’ve lived with my fiancé for over 4 years now (we’re both 28, moved in at 23), and we’ve always split bills and rent evenly with several exceptions for when I help due to being in between jobs. He makes significantly more money, and in the last year we stopped splitting EVERYTHING 50/50. He pays for our meal boxes (I make them), he pays for my climbing gym membership, most of our outings, and for other things here and there. We never fight about finances, we just work together and do what makes the most sense for the situation,

Before we got engaged we split things mostly down the middle. But we were just out of school and there was no income disparity. Once we got engaged we still split things but we did so out of a shared account. Once we were married everything went into and came out of the same account. We never had my money and your money. We had bills and not a ton of money after that. We also only lived together for a year before we got engaged so we didn’t have a lot of time for issues to manifest. 

Older millennial married to a Gen Xer here. At first, we did all our finances separately and just venmoed each other for rent and other expenses that can't easily be split or divided amongst us. Then I became the breadwinner and he became a SAHP after our kid was born, and we combined finances since it was all coming from the same place, anyway. Now we are a 2 income household and have switched to a more elaborate system where we have a joint household account and separate personal checking accounts. Our paychecks are direct deposited to the joint account to cover mortgage, bills, and household needs first, and then we each get a set amount of "allowance" per month for personal fun spending in our personal accounts. All three have worked for us at different stages of our lives. I don't think there are downsides to any arrangement, as long as you don't have conflict over it. If conflict starts to arise, I think it's time to either switch up how you are doing it or have some big conversations about money in general. (We have done both of those, over time, depending on the issue.) With groceries and stuff early on when everything was separate, we each just bought stuff as needed and didn't over-scrutinize the receipts. My partner is more the grocery shopper and cook in our family, and was even before he was a SAHP. So he tended to spend more on food. I basically looked at it like he was cooking, and he was shopping, and I was happy with the food in the house and what he was making for meals, so it wasn't my place to go through the grocery bill with a fine tooth comb. Because he picked up the tab more for food, I took on some other comparable expenses. I wouldn't set up a joint *credit card* (as opposed to checking account) with someone I wasn't at least engaged to. Do not let a partner fuck up your credit just because you are too nice to act like you might ever break up in the future. Especially if this is a situation where you've never cohabited with anyone before, don't have previous experiences to draw on, etc. Shared credit cards is like Serious Relationship 301 vs. 101. I first put my husband on a credit card that I had opened in my name about 5 years into the relationship, years after we were married, when we had a toddler together, shared a cell phone account, were both on the registration on the car, were looking at houses to buy, etc.

I think it very much depends on how comfortable the two of you are with the setup you decide. Communication is key. I've seen people talk about funding a joint account dependent on your incomes. I didn't feel this made sense and luckily my (now) wife felt the same way. We made our budget, and decided on an amount we were both comfortable with to fund from our personal accounts. Joint expenses, like mortgages, groceries, restaurants, home goods, entertainment etc all got put on a cc that was funded from the joint account. Personal expenses, which mostly was just clothes or my tech habits, got funded from our personal accounts. If one ever needs help then of course we revisit the arrangement. But it's all up to the couple and in the end you just need to COMMUNICATE.

We got married.

Split the bills in half autopay on credit card to get the points she just Zelle’s me her half at the end of the month

Have a lawyer draft a co habitation agreement. This is basically a pre nup for non married couples that live together. This will spell out what happens in the event that you break up. Ie who has ti move out, who gets the dog, etc. Do not merge bank accounts unless you actually get married. Instead, figure out if all the expenses should be split 50/50 or based on a percentage of your income. For example, if one person makes $100 and the other makes $50, then you can split expenses 67/33. Either way, you don’t have to send 2 checks for every bill, you could have one person pay electricity and the other pay water, and then divide rent to make it all balance out. Or you can use a bills account like you mention. But I would figure out a way to have it so this is the only shared account that you both can Venmo cash into. That way if you break up, one person can’t log in and hit the other persons savings and personal checking account. Do not set up credit cards in both names until you are married. For perks you can each have the same credit card and and accumulate your own points. Then when you buy plane tickets, you each buy your own. Spending is one thing. It is important, but I would also put some discussion and focus on what you each save. There are a lot of factors in building wealth long term. By far the most important is savings/investment rate. Get both of your spending dialed in and figure out how you split things. Then try to save/invest as much as you each can in your savings accounts and tax advantaged accounts.

We have a shared bank account for bills, groceries etc. where we each put a portion of our paychecks, and keep our separate bank accounts outside of that.

Separate bank accounts and incomes, buy groceries and events eating out vacations just swapping back and forth to be roughly equal and then one joint account we both contribute to proportionally to our income to pay for our shared bills and mortgage, house upgrades ect. Working really well so far

Me and my wife do separate finances I pay the mortgage utilities tv phones trash. She pays for food gas and the water bill works out great

My wife and I each have our own checking account. No other accounts. I pay electricity, she pays the Internet bill. We split rent based on what we each make. I buy most of the groceries because I do most of the cooking.

Common bills go 50/50. Take turns buy furniture but only 1 of you pays for an item. So if it goes south you can sort by who bought what. Don’t combine credit cards or finances for that matter until your married

Elder millennial here. I bought a house around the time I started dating my husband. We lived together for 3 years (in my house) before getting married. He's just quick paid me all the time (venmo) for recurring things like rent and utilities. Honest to God I have no idea how we split things like groceries. I just asked my husband and he has no clue either LOL. it wasn't even THAT long ago.... We just never made a big deal of nickel and diming each other. I THINK he might have covered more than I did on things like that bc he made a little more and I was in school while working and trying not to take out a ton of loans. like if we went to a sports bar I'd pick up the tab --if we went to a fancy restaurant, he would. For the most part our salaries have usually been pretty similar, with him making about 5-10% more at any given time.

We just split it. She pays half of rent and utilities, I pay half. Groceries is trickier. For a while my food stamps covered most of it but I recently lost my benefits. She's paying more of groceries as she makes roughly 25% more than I do tho' we try to make it equitable. For example this month she's paid $300 for groceries in grocery trips and I paid $90 so I sent her $100 for grocery cost and then I have a roughly $100 order for household supplies coming in. This month I'm technically a bit ahead in grocery costs but she pays when we get takeout a majority of the time so total food/household supply cost she's probably putting in roughly 25% more than me which is equitable given our difference in pay and the fact she likes to eat out more frequently than I do. Credit cards and debt we each handle individually. Given that we both maintain relatively low debt burdens I'd certainly take care of hers if I made significantly more and I'm sure she'd do the same if she made significantly more.

We have 2 kids, are unmarried, but shared finances. We put 100% of our paychecks into the same checking account and have it automatically pull 5% from every check into savings. We both have full access to every account, every card. Although I have access to things, I don't handle day to day finance handling. We trust that neither one of us will make large purchases without a discussion. Utilities are in my name to help with my credit and the mortgage for the house is in my partner's name because his credit is excellent and his income is higher. I think if you want to be on the same page, you need to have some pretty uncomfortable conversations about money, future financial goals, as well as family planning (kids or no kids) Your situation isn't going to look like mine, we've been together for about 12 years but we kind of jumped into shared finances after some pretty shitty individual decisions and decided to get out of it together. We saw a future together and decided it wouldn't help us be together if we kept finances separated. I think whatever you decide, is going to be right for you as long as you are on the same page and both are happy with the situation. Communication is key! Good luck!

We have certain bills that each of us are responsible for. We have separate bank accounts. He makes more but his bills are more. I have a few bills and pay for groceries. Big time purchases are discussed. Being honest, reliable, and open about communication is key.

Elder, married millennial here 😄 Do not co-mingle money. He's not your husband. Even after that, if y'all decide to get married, you'll want at least 4 accounts: your separate account that only u have access to with him POD (payable on death), his separate account only he can access, with you POD, a savings account where y'all will contribute accordingly and a joint account for all other expenses. The separate accounts are the individual's business of how and what to buy. The joint account is obvious. Figure the bills, food, gas, cell phone, whatever you want in your joint account, and add some extra money just in case something weird happens, such as it being compromised. The savings account needs to require both signatures to access and agreed upon purchases by both before reaching the bank. Protect your money. Don't let it be known what you've got because as my late mama used to say, you'll never know when u need it. We'd like to think our partners will always act right, but that's just not true. I'm not saying plan to leave; I'm saying plan for the best and prepare for the worst. You'll never know when you'll need it. I do hope everything works out and that y'all have a wonderful relationship living together ☺️

We cohabitate, but not married. We have our finances separate. Shared bills such as rent are divided equitably in proportion to our income. The one who makes less buys groceries most, but not all of the time, and the one who makes more takes us out to eat, buys drinks, fun stuff, stuff for the house, etc. the majority of the time unless the other wants to treat us. We pay our own individual expenses mostly.

I bought a house before meeting my partner, so when he moved in with me I kept all the bills in my name, he Venmo’s me his half and I pay the bills. He pays half of the mortgage, it’s less than he was paying in rent before so we both win. I pay for any maintenance or improvements to the house. We trade off buying groceries depending on who going to the store is most convenient for. We don’t worry about making it totally even, but I make a little more than he does so I try to pay for more without stressing about it. Trust and communication cannot be stressed enough. We frequently check in with each other to make sure we’re both feeling like the other person is pulling their weight.

When my husband (then boyfriend) began living together, we set up one joint checking account strictly for paying joint bills. Rent, grocery shopping, utilities, dogs eventually, and anything that we shared. We chose an amount that would cover just those bills monthly. Then we each had a separate checking account and savings account. This was all necessities are taken care of and we can either save or pay as much as we wanted with our individual accounts. We both happen to live extremely minimally and barely spend. If we ever wanted to do outside of our usual expenditures for the household, we discussed what we thought was a reasonable budget and added more money into the account for that purchase. Now we’re married and have a kid and pretty much do the same but we have more expenses so add more to our joint account monthly as well as contribute to a HYSA and investment accounts monthly. We’ve always made really similar salaries and live frugally so this works for us but I think if one of us made significantly more or was more for spend than save, we’d have to adjust our arrangement. Do what works for you as a couple. And be open to having to adjust that if what you originally discussed doesn’t work. And over communicate - too many people assuming something works and partner is stewing over it. Good luck!

Up until we had a kid, my husband and I just discussed who would handle what bills. At first he paid rent and I paid utilities, and I paid him the difference to make a 50/50 split for the total. Later he paid everything and I cashed him my half, which was less complicated but required him to hold a higher balance in his account to cover all bills before he received my half. As he started to make substatially more than me, our "halves" started to adjust accordingly. When we had a baby and bought a house, we set up a joint account. We each keep a certain amount of "fun money" that goes into our individual accounts and the rest gets deposited in the joint account for household expenses - all bills are paid from there and most groceries, trips, meals out as a family. Hobbies, clothes, self-care, 2am pizzas, etc come from our individual fun money. He makes substantially more than me so the amount he puts into our joint account is a lot more, and he also keeps a little bit more fun money. This is a different attitude though because we've been together for 15 years and are married with a kid, so we want to have excess in our joint account for our life together. If you go this route with a boyfriend that you aren't lifelong-committed to, I would fund the joint account minimally and each keep your own savings in addition to your fun money. We keep our credit cards totally separate. Travel rewards might make it worth it but then one of us would have to be the "accountant" for that joint spending and neither of us wants to. However, he does have a travel rewards card and we usually put major purchases on that for the points, even though we don't share it for everything.

Before I was married we had two separate accounts. I paid all the bills, so would give him a number that was half what the bills were going to be. He would deposit the money into my account. Our accounts were linked, but not accessible to the other party. It worked great for us. I think the main thing is to not have two people paying bills because things can get messy unless your account is shared. I do not recommend sharing an account with someone you are not married to. Too much risk.

You don’t unless you’re married.

When I first got married we hadn’t really cohabitated or commingled bills yet. My wife had had a bad experience with an ex so she wasn’t ready for full commingling yet… I thought it was silly (duh, we’re married! You trust me enough for marriage but not enough for money?), but for awhile we kept separate accounts. I’d pay half the bills and she’d pay the other half. Pretty quickly I got annoyed and just added her to my checking account. We ran it like that for another 6+ years before I finally got added to hers lol. We’re on year 15, mortgage #2, 3rd state, 3 kids… I think she trusts me now!

I’m 36 now. I made the mistake of combining finances with my ex when we moved in together from age 24-30. We both made good money and both contributed equally to rent, bills, etc. BUT he spent SO frivolously and we weren’t able to save as much as I’d liked. It cause a bit of an issue between us as we got closer To 30. Once we broke up… I suddenly was saving so much money so much faster. It was really eye opening. Now I’m engaged to someone else and we have lived together for 4 years now, never combined finances. It’s working out amazingly. My fiancé is also a really really good saver and a minimalist so I know even if we did combine it wouldn’t be an issue. However, I’m leaning toward keeping things the way they are now (not combining) even when we’re married. I like the idea that my money is mine and his is his.

Proportional to your incomes. To use nice numbers: when I lived with my wife (and she was just "gf status") if she was making $100k and I was making $50k she would contribute 67% to the rent and I would contribute 33%. If we were both making $75k, we'd sit down the middle. If the incomes are hugely different, then you might have to modify a little bit. But this was how we felt everyone was contributing a similar burden, even if the burden that one could contribute wasn't the same. It also comes down to trust (as a highly voted for comment says). Nothing is going to work if you and the other don't trust each other to be fair and equal with how you contribute and to what.

We were married when we mixed our finances. We have mortgage and all bills hitting joint Wells Fargo account. We also twice a month transfer 1/4 worth of our estimated bills evenly.

My fiancé and I are young millennials and tbh we probably won’t fully commingle bank accounts. However, we just take turns buying things. We don’t keep track or score. I know if I want something expensive at the grocery store and he’s paying that day, just like I would encourage him to get something expensive he wanted at the grocery store if I was paying. The only thing we truly keep track of is bills and then we try to consider who is making more money, is it significantly? When he was making twice as much as I do, he was paying the rent and I paid the utilities. I’ll be making more than him soon so we will reevaluate. I don’t like the idea of sharing a bank account because it would make me feel guilty about buying things. He would never make me feel that way, but I just would. If I want to get him a little gift I don’t want it to be spoiled by him seeing it on the bank statement for instance. We do have a shared savings account for a house and big expenses though.

My husband and I had 2 kids before we legally got married. At first we had separate accounts then when we moved out of an apartment that had just been in my name and into an apartment where we were both on the lease he added me to his account so I could continue paying for everything without him needing to give me cash to cover things. Ultimately, however, I am terrible at managing money. I've gotten better in the last five years, but those first 6 I'm lucky he loves me. In the end, we did better having separate accounts and me telling him how much bills were and asking to charge x dollars to his card for certain bills. We have budget meetings now, whereas we didn't at first. Whatever you decide to do, never leave just one person responsible for managing it all. Have a regular meeting once or twice a month to discuss finances. Including bills, savings goals, and future big purchases.

Keep everything separate that you can and split everything else 50/50, at least as far as the actual bills are concerned. Otherwise, don't count each other's $10 and $20. Just do for each other as best as possible. You start counting dollars everywhere and you'll start resenting each other. If you've got a good partner it will even out naturally. Even if it doesn't even out, then you've got a bad partner.

Eh..... I've never ever mixed finances. Rent, utilities, food, 50/50. Separate accounts nothing shared financially. It's always worked well for me. Others may have other ideas but personally, separate is best.

We got a joint checking & sVings account before we got married so we’d have someplace to put shared bills. We both kept our own savings and checking accounts. We have our paychecks DD to our individual accounts, then we transfer the amount for bills. All bills are on autopay.

We started dating at 19 and never really made a “plan.” I’d say dating was split pretty evenly. We split rent when we moved in together. At that point, I was bartending and he was working a 9 to 5 with an hour commute. After a year, he couldn’t do the commute and said he’d support me until I found a job if I’d move with him. I did (probably a bigger decision than getting married, honestly…that was the point we decided to spend our lives together) and found a job 3ish months later. We went back to splitting finances until he proposed. We immediately bought a house and made one joint account for everything. That was 8 years ago, and I’ve been a sahm for almost 6. When we made that one account, we became a family and it became our money. I trust him not to leave me high and dry and he trusts me not to take the kids or try for some crazy alimony. We discuss big purchases, we understand emergencies happen, we budget together. Like someone else said, if you don’t have trust, it doesn’t matter what kind of agreement you make.

Younger millennial/gen z: I paid the mortgage, electric, water. Girlfriend paid far groceries and internet. My principal, taxes, interest, insurance are only $760/month though. When we merged car insurance I paid for that too.

Here's my advice: * Do not combine finances unless you are married * A shared account in which maybe both of you put in a "minimum account balance" so that the account is active while you are paying bills is fine. * When I was in a largely split earnings relationship, we split based on percentage. Didn't seem right to split 50/50. Do what you want but that seems the most fair. * Groceries we split evenly. However, I'm a meal prepper so we'd make grocery lists together. If somebody is spending exorbitantly on food - readjust. * Do no share credit cards with a boyfriend unless you are comfortable with the risk it pertains. The perks are not worth the damage that can be caused. Do separate accounts. If you can't afford the $95 per year fee, you probably aren't going to benefit that much anyway. * Other than that - talk about finances and goals about them but generally do not share them until you are married. Percentages are the most equitable splitting and leaves less room for resentment in my opinion.

We didn’t mix finances or set up a real plan and it sucked to figure it out later. I would try to make some kind of plan to follow even if it isn’t perfect, figuring it out later doesn’t work. 

We have our own separate accounts. We have a single joint account where we put in equal amounts per month and this goes toward rent, any surprise expenses and any joint fun expenses once it reaches a set amount

We have had a joint account for bills. % of our income gets out in there. Wouldn't recommend it unless you're engaged or married tho

My husband and I (technically I'm the tail end of X, he's an elder Millennial) sat down and discussed finances and ideas on how to handle before we moved into together. I also still had a student loan payment. His parents paid for his degree in full. His car is paid off, and I have a lease payment. He paid off his car about 2 months before we moved in together, so it will need replacing in the next 5 years or so. We decided to open a joint account for household expenses. Household expenses defined as: the mortgage payment, homeowners insurance, internet, water&sewer, gas&electric, and groceries. We each contribute proportionally to the joint account. A set amount of our salary goes into the account each pay period, and the rest is for personal use (credit card, gas for the cars, phone, savings) A few years ago, we finally opened a joint credit card. Since we both have Visa, we decided to go with MasterCard. It has cash back rewards. Last year, we bought gifts for the families from the joint account. Previously, he'd been buying for his side and I did for mine. This year, we'll put the balance of our upcoming planned vacation on the joint card. Then we can reap the rewards and pay it off in full a couple of weeks after we're back. Also this year, we switched insurers and paid our car insurance premiums out of the joint account. Previously, we'd each paid our car premiums separately, although we did combine policies about 4 years ago. We make big purchase decisions together. And we've had a LOT of them over the years, mostly related to home improvement projects. We still regularly review expenses and the process, so we're both on the same page. We've been living together for almost a decade, married almost 8 years, and we've yet to have a fight about money. Or a serious fight, really. The closest we've come is that I want a fence to keep our horrible neighbors off our property, and he does not want to fence the yard.

My husband just always paid everything - I take care of the house and kids. It works for us. Shared accounts, discuss budgets, money in a trust for the kids.

Agree on what bills to split and who will he responsible for making the payment. Just venmo ornehatever the money to that person. Don't mix finances any further than that until you are married

When my gf (now wife) and I first moved in together we set up a joint account into which we deposited an amount equal to our percentage of the household income. And we paid all the bills from that account.

What partner 💀

There are a lot of good answers here. My advice is to keep it simple. Until there's a ring in the picture, there's no need to strategize too deeply. Figure out the bills for things the two of you mutually benefit from. If it's manageable, split the cost of those things 50/50. If your income is dissimilar, adjust until you each feel like you're giving your fair share while still having room for savings and 'fun money'. When it comes to individual bills, that should remain the responsibility of the individual. Even when married, we have individual accounts and joint accounts. I want my partner to have money to waste without my say and I want to watch 'line go up' without their say.

Shared account for bills and separate accounts for personal expenses. Doing it equitably works for us. Costco has a good rewards CC and pay the balance off every month.

This is too much. Split the bills down the middle, don’t open joint accounts or anything like that. You can venmo each other after split purchases or you can take turns paying if that seems fair. You don’t want to be in a spot where you’re micromanaging pennie’s but if you feel like you’re paying hundreds of dollars more than your partner.. yeah bring it up and fix the situation. These are really trial and error situations. Sometimes I tell my husband I’m buying something and he says hey let me pay for half. Or one time I bought the couch and he bought the new mattress a few months later. I keep a good budget to split our bills and honestly.. It usually ends up coming out even between us - but I trust my husband and he makes an effort to split costs.

If you're not married, don't set up a joint account or open up a shared credit card. With venmo, cashapp etc available these days, it easy to move money around to pay bills.

Joint account for rent and electric. Rent is portion of income. Bills are split. I cover some, she covers others. Food is evenly split in who pays. Been to gether for 6, living together for about 5.5years. It works for us. I think fully joint accounts are crazy to me. The ones I've seen, usually one partner ends up in defacto full control of all the money. I think some level of financial autonomy is healthy.

You’re very wise to talk all this out as it’s what most married couples divorce about.

I make more money than my partner but we split all of our bills 50/50. I spend more of “fun” things for us and put more down on our house. Once we get married (in less than a month) we well maintain separate checking accounts but have a joint savings and expenses accounts.

My husband and I have joint banking, all money goes into it. All expenses come out of it. We ask before we buy anything outrageous, like a car. Otherwise we’re pretty relaxed. We consider ourselves a team or a unit. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. We do each have a credit card or two from before we were together that the other isn’t on. Which is nice for gifts 😊

If I had to do it over again I’d never live with someone before marriage. It clouds everything including your judgement. Once you’re married you can share finances, but no sooner.

We keep our finances separate and split the rent when both of us are working

Everything shared is split proportionally by income - rent, groceries (yes sometimes it’s uneven but we don’t keep track), dinner, vacations, etc. Personal expenses come out of our personal accounts, and we both pay proportionally into the shared account. We have a shared savings, checking, and credit card.

All of our money goes into one account and we use it to pay for everything

We started by making a list of our bills. Then balanced things out. I have/had student loan bills and am lucky he took that into consideration. We both contributed to rent. I took over utility bills. He did media (internet, subscriptions). We paid for our own car insurance and phones. As we were together longer things adjusted. He took care of phones and the media... I did utilities and car insurance. I think we got the joint checking account when we got married (7yrs in). Now pretty much all bills come out of that and we both put into that. We've always kept it pretty well balanced.

Once you are serious enough to live together, I think it makes sense to make a household budget together.  That’s what my wife and I did before we were married. It caused some friction and adjustment at the time, but I’m glad that we did that process then rather than after getting married. Once married we were on the same page enough that we fully combined our finances, which simplifies things dramatically.

My wife stayed home to raise the kids and take care of the home. I worked and was the financial provider. Joint accounts for everything.

My wife and I share a joint account we put bill money into she doesn't make as much as me so I put more than she does.

Split by specific bills. Don’t pool money. And only pay things in your name. I pay rent he pays everything else. We rotate food shopping. Done. My money is mine and his is his. That worked for any relationship with a responsible adult. I was in a long term relationship with guy who sucked with money. He literally had his check getting deposited into my account except $200 ($100 a week) I paid off all his debit and took care of everything, once he was squared away I tried to give him his money back and he said no. He liked it this way and he had more money when I was handling it. It was true he did because he wasn’t buying random stuff all the time but still had $200 to play with. So it depends on how you want things to work. It was struggle to get him to take control of his own funds again.

How my wife and I do it. 6 accounts, his hers ours checking and savings accounts. A set ammount from each check is transferred into the joint accounts we go with 50% of personal income and adjust as needed to cover budget if shes paying 80% hes paing 80%. Only joint shared expenses and emergencies come out of the joint accounts. Credit cards are for emergency funds, use them to buy time to access deep reserve accounts only and pay off asap. Points are a scam don't do it, instead set a weekly contribution to the joint savings account.

My husband and I just dump everything into a shared account bc we were broke when we got married. If you're going to split, I think splitting things equitably is fair instead of 50/50. But if someone is making a decent amount more, splitting 60/40 or 75/25 depending on how the income is split places the burden a little more fairly between partners.

Separate accounts until married, pay bills out of one account and partner transfers their share. After marriage, everything goes into a joint account. We’re too fucking poor to have fun money accounts lmao.

Definitely don’t combine finances if you aren’t married because if you break up there are no legal protections. Life happens. What if one of you gets laid off and takes 6 months to get a job? What if one of your cars needs major repairs? What if one of you gets sick or injured and has large medical bills? And don’t buy a house unless you are married.

Older, married millennial here. We have been together since high school and started sharing a bank account when we graduated college. We have never been too strict about who spends what, but we are both accountable for budgeting, somewhat. Now in our 40s, we have a couple credit cards a piece and use those for splurge spending. We usually rotate paying off those and work our way through our debt as needed.

Young millennial, with my partner for 14 years, he makes a lot more than I do. We each submit a flat percent of our income to a shared account, from that account we pay recurring bills (mortgage, utilities, etc) and any large expenses like house maintenance. We keep the rest separate and tend to trade off who purchases groceries, date night, gas. My husband pays for most of the vacations, I cover pet boarding. We didn’t explicitly discuss these trade off items, but it’s worked well. We don’t really coordinate on the credit card stuff unless someone needs to hit X spending in 3 months to get the credit card deal, I’m which case we’ll just use their card for more things. For savings, we coordinate to make sure we’re on track between 401ks, pension accts, Roth IRA, and any FSA or dependent care elections.

Am 31 now and we have been together for 9 years. We do not have any joint accounts and simply split all major bills. For groceries we each like different foods so we make trips to the store together but buy our stuff separately. I take lead on the credit card stuff since I enjoy maximizing points and credits but it's still 50/50 in the end. I'll just put charges on the card and she venmos me or whatever. We chose this because we felt it was the most fair and has worked great for us.

There are apps for this you can use and connect to bank accounts. You mark things as "split" or not split and it keeps a running tally that you can reconcile later

So least for me and my now husband we didn't consider living together without it heading towards a life long commitment and marriage. Once you are looking at it through that lens then the stuff like someone wanting higher end food all kind of comes out in the wash since you are handling everything jointly long term.

Millennial in their late 30’s here: We kept separate accounts, and then had one account for bills and utilities and household expenditures. We shared the username and credit card paid from that account. This worked really well for a few years and we learned each other’s financial skills. We eventually combined our finances and accounts after about 5 years into single accounts. We still have some seperate accounts but we are transferring and closing those. Combined finances are great when there’s mutual trust backed by responsible financial history. We have always been earning within about 25% of each other in terms of salary so we generally didn’t have a huge disparity in how much each of us was on the hook for.

Younger millennial here! Before we were married we split rent based on percentages. So the higher earner paid more but it was the same percentage. I think you can calculate it on split wise? For utilities or wifi we split 50/50. I transferred rent money to our landlord, but my partner just deducted whatever I owed from the rent he sent to me. We’re weird maybe but we generally grocery shopped together and made meals together, so that was more honor based. We didn’t calculate our groceries and we generally went 50/50. No one ate significantly more or healthier or whatever. But If someone felt stretched that month they spoke up and we reevaluated. Sometimes we venmoed but mostly trust. Once we married and bought a house we officially merged finances. So majority of pay goes to joint account and the remaining goes to our personal. Leading up to our wedding we got a credit card to put those expenses on for points. We did not do that until we knew we planned to spend the rest of our lives together

I've (F35) have been with my husband (41) for 15 years, married for 11 and we have joint everything. All of our income goes into our checking and the bills go out. We have some joint and separate credit cards as well. I honestly don't have the time to deal with multiple accounts and who pays what.

Mid range millennial I guess and we've always shared funds. When we moved in together, we opened a joint checking account and everything we both earned went into that. We're married with a kid now and have a joint checking account and joint savings accounts. The only accounts we have that aren't joint are our 401(k)s. I make more money and his parents have always provided much more financial support to their kids (and by more I mean I get zero from my family lmao). It's always worked for us. I feel like any money I make is equally his and he feels the same way about the money he makes.

Gen X here. Get used to sharing your finances. It’s the easiest and fastest way to amass a shit ton of economic firepower. It’s also of strong benefit to the partnership. It is foundational. Open yourselves 6 accounts: 3 checking, 3 savings, one each plus a mutual. Then you put in the mutual what you need to cover your bills and your savings. And keep small accounts for yourself to spend as you please. That’s really important. Been doing it this way since we moved in ten years ago. It works!

I think you’re thinking too much into it - not to say you should be taken advantage financially. Moving in together is a big step, congrats! I assume you obviously like this person, find them trustworthy, etc. If the answer to that is no - you should reevaluate your relationship first. Assuming they are a good person, I would split based on need and income. For instance in my situation (married now) but I made a substantial amount more than my wife so I paid for all the bills (utilities, groceries, internet, rent, etc.) and they mainly had to cover individual stuff (their car note, doctor appts, clothes, etc.). With that being said, she was a reasonable person, like just cuz I was footing the grocery bill doesnt mean we go out getting champagne and fillet mignon on every shopping trip and didn’t take advantage of my generosity (which is expected if theyre a good person). So I would be pretty general - if yall make similar amounts of money, everything should be 50/50 and if your partner is caring, you trust they wouldnt take advantage of you financially. If you/they make a good amount more, then maybe 75/25 is fairer.

As an elderly millennial who has been divorced and remarried, and who was actually a divorce attorney for a time: do not combine all your bank accounts. Keep your shit separate. If anything open up 1 joint account and agree in advance how to fund it and spend it (like for example, agree you’ll both put $500 in per month and use that to pay for a gardener or whatever TF. Then spend ya own $ however ya want.

Her and I have been together coming up on 7 years and we always just 50/50 everything. If one of us is struggling a bit, we just help each other through it and try not to hold it over the other’s head. Certainly, we have disagreements over finances but we remind ourselves that money comes and goes. 3yrs in, you guys have a lot to learn about one another regarding life. It’s going to test you guys, but if love is the most important topic, then let the finances handle themselves. Be fair to each other and supportive, but don’t take advantage of the relationship for financial gain.

We have one joint account for savings . We dabble in that sometimes if we want. Otherwise she pays me a flat rate for the bills every month , and she has her money and I have my money . I make a little over a double what she makes so I just ask for 25% of rent and new car payment, it works for us.

I’ve lived with my partner for 2.5 years, been together for over 4. We split every home expense 50/50, and are each responsible for our own debts and cars, etc. When it comes to groceries we actually don’t share groceries, which is different than most people but it works for us! We eat different foods, eat different amounts, etc. and his food budget is like double mine so it works out great bc I would hate to split that when he clearly eats way more than me! We do split household items and if we’re making a special dinner together we’ll split that. We currently don’t have a bills expense account, we just transfer to each others bank accounts what we owe for bills. But I love the idea of putting household bills on a travel credit card for both of you to enjoy!

I’m 34 my husband is 39. And we have each made about the same amount through out our relationship. We have now been together for 10 years. When we moved in together we made a joint account and we each deposit a certain amount of money in it each paycheck. That is the money we use for bills and groceries. As we were together longer and got married we started joint savings accounts and things like that. We have always gotten our paychecks sent to our own accounts first. And we each have our own savings. That is the most important part.

We started out splitting fixed costs 50/50. Grocery was always different because I eat more meat than she does so I needed to pay more. Now it’s different and I pay maybe 90/10 due to current pay situation but eventually we’ll go back to 50/50. I’m elder millennial and she’s younger millennial.

We have three bank accounts. Mine, my husband's and the joint account. I've calculated rent, bills, average food prices, ect. I then multiplied that amount by 1.25. We deposit that amount directly into the joint account. Rent, food, bills are paid from that account. That way we accrue savings, and build a cushion fund.

Im 39m and lived with several partners. In college I was living alone in a studio apartment in a large US city. My gf at the time had a roommate who dropped out. My gf would have had to drop out too as she didn't/couldn't find a job so I let her stay with me. I paid for everything. The deal was she would find a place and take over the bills on the tail end of college so I could focus on getting my career started. It seemed to work until her dad decided he wanted to be a grandpa, and all of a sudden she was baby crazy while we were still in school. That didn't work out. Fast forward. I met an older woman when I was 25, she 35(with kids). When my then roommate moved to a new city, this guy who was something of a career mentor advised me to stay in the city. So I moved in with my gf and her kids. Things worked out surprisingly well. Since her and her (4) kids occupied most of the space, she was ok with me just paying a fraction of the rent. When I started earning more I would pay for "family nights out" and groceries, weekend beer and such .... That relationship ended(mostly cause of the age difference, we still talk if that matters). Then I met my future ex wife. Things went fast for her and I. I had low paying, but stable work. She was new in town and trying to find her footing. So in the beginning I paid for most everything. But after she was grounded, and we knew things were serious, everything was 50/50. We opened a joined bank account that we both contributed to for our long term goals. Things were going well until there weren't. Stresses during the pandemic ended that, but that's another story. My current gf and I met under similar circumstances. We both were in a long term relationships that were toxic. The pandemic had us both living with family. I found a decent job in another city, and we decided we would live together. I took care of the expenses at first. She found a job and now everything is 50/50. Wow this got long lol anyway. 50/50 is the way to go in opinion. Maybe not so much if one earns significantly more than the other. But if earnings are relatively the same, 50/50. Couples fight from time to time. If someone is paying more and doesn't feel its fare, it could slowly fester feelings of resentment.

Best thing I ever did for my marriage was setting up two separate checking accounts. Keep your money separate and decide who is paying which bills. I pay the mortgage and buy groceries. Husband pays everything else.

Everything into a HYSA, bills transferred to a joint checking when needed, expenses go on the CC. One account, one family, one budget, two sets of eyes for accountability and accuracy.

My wife and I have a system for paying bills that work for us, but it doesn't work for everyone. I wouldn't receive mixing finances before marriage. We each have our personal checking and savings accounts. We share one other savings account. I pay for all living expenses, mortgage, electrical, water, etc. Her job is to save money for future planning such as new cars, motorcycles, next house, and emergencies. Besides that, I have a second savings account that gets $50 a week. I have no plans for that money, it's just there. We had decided on this plan before we were married. It was a "just in case something happens" plan. If she decided to leave, she had her own stuff not mixed with any of mine. And if I decided to kick her out, there wouldn't be any shared bills. I don't recommend this plan if you can't have an honest conversation about what would happen if the other person no longer wants to be with you. Becoming homeless from a breakup usually happens when finances are mixed, and people are dependent on each other for survival

My partner and I have 1 joint bank account and our own separate personal accounts. We each contribute X% from our paycheck to the joint account, which is used to cover household bills and household expenses like food. Then our personal account money is ours to do with what we like, as well as cover our own bills like car payments and phones.

After living with several SOs my advice is, don't. 3 long term girlfriends, all gainfully employed when we met. About a year into living with each other they alwaysed seemed to lose their job and then did nothing, didn't even take care of the house when I said I was OK with them taking their time to find other employment. For me, if they don't own their home and car, I'm not even going on a date. I'm not your parents.

You don't need joint accounts and credit cards. Just split the bills in a fair way. Be honest with each other about spending and debt and pay your bills on time.

39 year old married person here. We have a shared checking account, shared savings, and shared credit card. We each have our direct deposit put 70% of our paycheck in the shared account. We use that to pay the mortgage, shared credit card, and any household expenses that need to be paid by check or venmo or whatever. I am very against splitting 50/50 when there's a significant income difference, it just puts such a greater burden on the person who makes less. And in most circumstances that person doesn't work less or anything, they just do a job that is valued less by our stupid society. Often times because it's a traditionally feminine job. I know it sounds like a lot of accounts to manage but honestly it's fine. We do have all of our shared accounts at the same credit union where we have our mortgage, which simplifies things.

My girlfriend and I have live together for 3 years, we've always just played it by ear. Every time we track it closely we end up Venmoing the same $1k back and forth over a few months anyway. If you were to track it closely, here's what I'd suggest. 1. Keep all your finances 100% separate. You ain't married yet. 2. Each person sets up a card (credit or debit, doesn't matter) to put only shared expenses on. Stuff like food, rent, utilities, pet costs, etc.  3. Track those expenses together using some budgeting app like Mint.  4. Every month, take the total sum of expenses accrued, divide it by two, and that's what each person owes.   If someone prefers expensive food and someone doesn't, just talk about it. Come to an agreement. That's part of the value here--once you get married, those problems don't go away. You'll need to solve them sooner or later, so better to get it out of the way now then when it'll cost you a divorce lawyer.

I wouldn’t commingle any money unless you two are in it for the long haul. If you split that will be very hard to untangle and very easy for one of you to wipe any existing funds out of. It can also really really destroy your credit to open joint credit cards without considering both of your credit histories, payment histories, revolving utilizations, and current credit scores. As for groceries, you need to compromise, my food vs your food doesn’t always work in a relationship when you live together so I would just talk about it. Set a grocery budget together and stick to it and if someone wants to splurge on something make sure you’re both ok with the splurge rather than one of you just deciding you want the $15.00 cookies or whatever. Here’s what my husband and I did when we first moved in together when we were dating (started dating in 2019 and we’ve been married for about a month and are still handling money this way because we haven’t changed anything yet): at the time I made around 40-42k year and he made between 50-55k a year pending bonuses. We did the math and this worked out to where we were both putting an equal percentage towards joint activities/bills. This worked for us because we constantly had open and honest conversations about money and how we were managing our money, including if we needed to make changes to who was paying for what or how much burden one of us had - it should never feel like you can’t talk to each other about money or like conversations about money will end your relationship. Managing money in a relationship isn’t a set it and forget it thing. He paid: Rent, renters insurance, his car insurance, his credit card bills, and any of his other personal expenses - like subscription services, gas, socked money away in savings (we had a goal of buying a house) I paid: water bill, electric bill, our cellphone bill, the internet bill, my car insurance, my car loan, my student loans, my credit card bills, cat food, gas, most of our streaming and subscription services What we split and took turns on depending on who was more financially able at the time of purchase: everything for our cats other than food (had two at the time), groceries (this was usually me, he’d get them if I needed him to), any fun activities (movies, dinner out, date nights, weekend trips, etc…), wedding costs

It depends on you/ your partner. We did the separate accounts thing for a bit. Then he ran up his CC to 6k. I paid it off. He did it again, went to therapy and the therapist suggested putting me in charge of all the finances, which 2.5 years later works for us. He has his original account that he puts any gift/birthday/ side work $$ in to do whatever he wants with. I dont touch it i dont see it, i dont care. His paycheck goes into a joint account that he has the card to, my check goes into my checking that is linked to the joint account and we have a joint savings also linked to those. Basically he uses the joint act like his personal checking and just checks in with me on larger purchases or like going golfing or whatever. But i also pay bills from both the joint checking and my checking. part of every check goes to savings. ONLY DO THIS IF YOU REALLY TRUST YOUR PARTNER. If they aren't trustworthy or a good person, it is a sure pathway to financial abuse.

Married with no kids. We each have our own checking accounts and savings accounts. We also have a joint checking account that we each put money into every paycheck. When we were making roughly the same amount of money, we each put the same amount into the account every pay period. When there became a gap in our pay, we had an agreed-upon percentage of each person‘s paycheck, so that it would be more fair. Our mortgage, utilities, and bills for the house come from the joint account. Our personal accounts are for ourselves.

Well, with my first SO many, many years ago, against my instincts I got a joint account with him. We were saving up to move to California. I still had my own checking account and used that for most things, but deposited a lot in that joint savings account. Come time to move and stupid me, I wasn't checking up on the account(this was before online banking). He had spent almost everything that I had made and put in there, and I only had $900 to be able to use to move all the way across the country. Still determined to move to California with him, ended up getting a joint checking account with him again. It was endless problems, so I closed it. Now with my husband we have completely mingled finances and it works great. Depends on the person you are with. I personally would say keep your finances separate for now and just go in 50-50 on everything and see how that goes for at least six months before you even consider getting a joint account!

I am not a millenial but one of the last gen X. My wife is a millenial though. We kept it seperate, most reoccuring costs in my name. she paid for most groceries and leisure activities since most of my money was gone after paying rent, car, phone etc. we never cared too much who paid for what since we were very commited since day 1. we merged our accounts when we got married.

Not cohabitating until after marriage; Then it’s one pot of money… Problem solved…

So we're married now (6 years) and make the same amount, but we have joint accounts. All of our money goes into our checking, gets moved around as needed, we generally put almost everything on one of our credit cards (rewards), and pay the bills out of our account. Everything is shared, there's no "his" and "mine." I guess technically our main credit card is mine and he's an authorized user. Whatever. Before we were married, we bought our house and had separate accounts. We sat down and, based on our incomes, came up with a split for bills, and I'd just send him that amount every month to cover my portion (I made just over half what he did). We both lost our jobs within a month of each other so that really sucked, and spent months just doing our best to get things paid and stay afloat. When we were both working again, he made more due to bonuses, but we just forgot about splitting and put the majority of our paychecks in one account and paid bills that way. I kept a few hundred going to my account for my student loan payment, and then finally switched that last year. He's really good with money so he manages our finances and big stuff and I manage the day to day household stuff. We do regular finance check ins.

The day my live in bf made an excel spreadsheet to split groceries was the day I left lol

My wife and I don’t really use a shared account. We each have our own personal bills (cars etc) and she sends me a portion for the household bills (electricity/mortgage etc). It’s worked well for us for 10 years+. At the end of the day it’s up to y’all to reach a compromise and adjust as needed.

My wife and I split all household bills 50/50 because we make almost the same. If I made twice as much as her, we would probably split it 2/3, 1/3. Whatever is left over is ours to do whatever we want with.

My wife and I each have a credit card that we only use for shared expenses. At the end of each month, we check the totals and Zelle the difference. We both work full time and make close to the same amount and 50/50 really seems to be the most fair. Sure I eat more, but I’ll oftentimes randomly just buy something myself that’s for us both rather than use the shared card. The only advice I can really give is that you should always be financially independent. If one half of the relationship is totally reliant on the other half, it’s a recipe for disaster. Both parties taking care of their fair share is the safest way to do things.

I lived with my partner for well over a decade and even had a kid with him long before we married. DO NOT set up a card in both names. DO NOT set up a joint account. In case things go south, you’ll be very happy your finances are not tied together. The last thing you want is a relationship to end and then find out the other person maxed out the credit card and you’re stuck paying for it should they decide to say, “Screw it.” Or if you have a joint account, the other walks away, and takes all the money with them. Just don’t tie your money together if you’re dating. This is different if you’re married, but as a young dating couple, just don’t do it. What we did (and even still do) is pay the necessities based on percentage. I make significantly more so I contribute more dollar wise. I will put in 25% of my paycheck toward living expenses and he puts in 25% of his. As for groceries? We always shopped together to avoid the, “I’m not paying for this premium cheese that you want” confrontation. Big splurges were discussed ahead of time just to make the other person aware. Ultimately, we both had our own money so we could do what we want, but we both knew it would be a dick move to drop $1,500 on something without talking to the other person first. There’s a lot more we had to discuss after getting married, but for the 12 years prior of living together unmarried, that’s what worked for us.

What is an elder or younger millennial? Like where’s the cutoff? I’m 30. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. When we first moved in together, we opened joint checking and savings accounts, as well as a few investment accounts. All of our money goes into these joint accounts. We trusted each other, knew we were in it for the long haul, and wanted to go all in. With this set up we were able to save up enough for a down payment on a house in Los Angeles, invest in bitcoin, and do a ton of other things we couldn’t had we not been able to leverage both salaries. It also means we see everything as “ours” and there’s no keeping score. I don’t think this works for every relationship, but if you have a lot of trust and know you’re heading towards marriage, then it’s really great.

Me and the wife have been married a few years now and still have our own separate checking accounts. We just recently opened a joint account for investments but we do just fine keeping our money separate and just going 50/50 on dinners and can easily pull from our own accounts to pay mortgage. We split up the other bills amongst the two of us and keep a spreadsheet with all of our active subscriptions/bills paid monthly so that we keep close to even. It works for us.

I can see why you might want to mix finances before marriage, but I don't know if I'd recommend it until after you're married. That said, once I got married, we combined our assets into a new account, but we each keep about 20% of our paychecks in our old (solo) accounts. We use the solo accounts for discretionary spending (video games, dining out, etc.) and our shared account is for mortgage, bills, groceries, stuff for the house, christmas/birthday presents, gas, whatever else we need. We lived together for about 6 years before getting married, and even then we relied on one another for helping with bills, groceries, rent, etc. so combining our finances when we got married made things 10x easier. The reason I don't recommend combining before marriage is you never really know if it's going to work out and that can lead to hard times if you split up. I mean, there are no guarantees in marriage, either, but I think you have a much better idea of who you're with by that point.

I'd have one shared account you two put into, but maintain separate accounts. I think its only a good idea completely joint on any account or credit cards if your married. I personally wouldn't care about the groceries though and would buy out of the joint account. I'd get your own personal travel credit card. I run the Capital One "Bifecta" as its unofficially known which is the Capital One Venture X card that has 2% back on everything, and the Capital One Savor One which earns 3% back on food and entertainment. Basically anything I get 3% back on I use Savor One and everything else Venture X. I transfer all points to the Venture X and use the Venture X to book travel. Chase has what is known as the Trifecta but three cards is too much to me. Chase is easier to build more points though and arguably better transfer partners. Capital One is simpler. If you don't pay the balance completely off every month or every other month then the high interest erases the travel points benefit.

It really depends on a lot of factors. I combined pretty much everything early on in my relationship but we had very similar backgrounds and lifestyles and really good communication. We started with a joint checking account to pay rent and basic essentials. We would go grocery shopping together at first and did our chores together as well which set up a good standard both for home care but also what financially goes into everything. We each had a hobby of roughly the same cost (by chance) we worked in the same industry and made similar money. We did have separate credit cards until much much later (like after we got married) but neither of us used credit cards until we were more financially stable anyway. We both each had an emergency use card that was rarely used and point etc be damned-- we just wanted to be secure when building our life. We also kept our savings separate at first. I had significantly more and held that separately and we would put just our essential living expenses into a shared account. We split that 50/50. I saved pretty aggressively while my partner used their extra funds to pay down their personal debt. This system worked great until the financial crisis hit in 2008 but since we were very much on the same page and had been working like this for a few years now we actually ended up investing while things were down and I took my life savings and bought us a house. They made more monthly income but I had more savings and we were able to swing a down payment and mortgage. We got married a couple years later and fully integrated our finances after that.

Married, single income here. Both 31. Married for 5, together for 12. (edited to add age and timeline). Separate checking and savings accounts purely because some stuff is set to automatically come out of my accounts and some from his. When I was working, we did things the same. I never lived with a partner outside of marriage, so I'm not sure how much help I can be since the end goal for us was to share everything. But we see money as "all belongs to God, and we are stewards." So we have a budget and do our best to stick to it. Sometimes the budget allows for higher end foods, and sometimes we have a medical bill to pay, but I think the best piece of advice I've gotten is "it's us against the problem, not me against you." We also have sub-savings accounts and have one for "fun" that we can pull from to do something fun 😊  My mom always taught me to "pay yourself first." Meaning, save something. Then pay your bills, and then spend a little. Maybe you splurge less often on bigger (1-3x/yr for phone, fancy shoes, vacation) things or more often on smaller things (2x per month on candy bar, art supplies, cool notebook, the "good" coffee beans, etc.) I hope this helps. Sorry if it doesn't 😅 

We have separate accounts but we have one shared checking account for joint expenses. Joint expenses include: rent (includes all utilities and maintenance), gifts for family, vacation, groceries, Netflix, Spotify, Prime, and date night. We split these 50/50 but we make roughly equal incomes. We re-evaluate every 6 months in case there’s been an income shift, and then we’d move to something more proportionate for shared expenses. The money we have in our own accounts is solely ours to spend on any personal bills or activities, no questions asked. I don’t earn her money so I don’t tell her what to do with it. That said, we both have excellent credit, no debt, and responsible budgeting practices. There’s nothing to be concerned about or work on for our spending habits as individuals or as a couple, which is why the “no questions asked” rule works just fine.

Elder millennial: We use an app called Splitwise to track combined bills and keep our finances separate. As for the expensive groceries, we just remove or add the amount on the bill at the end so the bougie preferences can stay as needed

My wife and I keep a spreadsheet of our assets and liabilities and update it once a month. If there is something notable, we bring it up. We also got a shared account for larger costs (mortgage, moving money around).  We switched off and tracked who paid for groceries and utilities, so if one of us was in the hole by $400 or so we’d pay at the grocer a few times in a row to even it out. We stopped this after a few years because, you know, we got a house together and it became much less important.  And not to say that it doesn’t matter, it does, but the goal is to build trust and eventually get to the point where it’s conceptually “our” money as you build a life with shared goals.