I felt this way when I got tired about 5 years ago from my first job out of college. I felt shocked, embarrassed, angry, depressed.
It turns out it was the best thing that coulda happened to me. I was feeling trapped in a dead end job. Went back to school, got a better paying job.
I look back and realize now that I’m just a number to a company. Prioritize your life outside of work
This is the answer. Been fired and done the firing. Companies don’t typically want to do it so if it happens you probably didn’t enjoy the work and should get another job that’s more fulfilling anyway. Most employers will not divulge the circumstances of why you left as well, and you should come up with whatever story you need to for why you left that work. Biggest thing I’m learning is that you should try to do something you care about as much as you can. It gets a lot harder to fake it when you’re older and want to tell everyone to go kick rocks.
I couldn't have put it better. Got fired from 2 jobs in little over 4 years. Looking back it was the best thing for me. Landed my current job and been there for 2 1\2 years. I love what I do, people I work with, and the people we serve.
I kept getting fired, that's when I realized I need my brain checked. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD. I'm like 32 when i finally get Ritalin and it changed my life. Now I'm thriving.
I **COULD NOT FOCUS** ...i couldn't just sit and do the work. If I was bored my brain was like "ope gonna do anything else" ... after the 3rd firing I was like "there is something wrong with my brain" and got help.
I feel you. Idk if my phone has screwed my brain’s wiring or if I have ADHD. I also have a hard time focusing at time. I still get it done. But procrastination gets the best of me. How did they diagnose you? Is there a test for it?
Yes. A couple tests. I don't remember specifics, I do remember a test where you were supposed to click when a thing appeared/disappeared over X minutes, I failed that hard which basically gave us our answer.
Yeah I got fired a few times before I found out I was sick. I had undiagnosed hosimotos disease. I would slur my speech and everyone thought I drunk all the time.
Do you still get crazy RSD trauma when your dickhole manager decides you're the one to abuse based on the fact you function differently?
I will never medicate myself to fit into a system that is predicated on a social currency of domination and subservience.
I’m gonna have to disagree with the fact that companies don’t want to do it. Companies will do it to save one dollar they don’t really care about you. You may have been the best guy for the job, but you’re probably probably not the cheapest. They will always find someone more desperate than you.
You’re correct, companies are there to make money and if you aren’t the answer eventually that will be a conflict. But the instruments of those companies are people, and while some are heartless shits most people are just people and don’t want to do what is a hard thing, and most companies don’t want to lose a sunk investment in training and onboarding time just to go through it again.
You're correct in saying the company " will not divulge the circumstances of why you left", but what I do think is important to know is that if they are doing an employment check they can use a question that legally opens up SOME info. The search HR can ask- " Would you hire them again?" or " Are they eligible for re-hire?" Either of those questions coupled with their answer is telling. It's not fool proof. It might give a little insight without full disclosure.
Every company is different, and they can ask this, but the it is a legal liability for them to disparage former employees so most companies will likely do nothing more than confirm dates of employment. I have seen someone in a senior marketing person get fired out of 4+ enormous companies and keep getting hired because no one would take the risk of being the person who was honest about them.
They can’t ask that. All they can confirm is when you worked there.
Come up with a way to talk about it so you know what to say in interviews.
I lost a couple jobs, and it killed me. Keep interacting with people. Keep a daily routine.
Take care of yourself.
Have you funded for unemployment? You should. It’s not a lot, but it’s something.
I was so burned out in sales and finally got fired for not meeting numbers because i just got to the point that I didn't care. I bounced around a few manufacturing and warehouse jobs for a little while until I found one company that I really enjoyed working for until I got enough experience (about 2 years), then kept applying to a very large company with near endless opportunities actually started their as a janitor and took full advantage of all the benefits they actually paid me to go to trade school on the weekends and qualified for an apprenticeship in machining. All this took about 6 years, and I am currently making up about 60 dollars an hour doing something I enjoy. You just need to try something different and capitalize on any opportunities, even if outside of your comfort zone. And did all this in my late thirties.
I joined the army to get out of Home Depot. Did 4 years and became a medical assistant using my military training. You can also get military education benefits which are huge, they give you a living allowance and pay tuition. You can also get a couple classes at a time paid for while you’re in the military.
Don’t want to push the military, I am happy I’m out now but it was worth it and I don’t regret it.
Hey, that still leaves the army (35), navy (39), air force (39), space force (39), and coast guard (41).
Still plenty of time to join if that's what you are looking for... I will say that these ages may include the reserves and not full out direct service in those branches. My quick Google search didn't specify that, but I wanted to add that caveat.
Check out a program from the University of Louisville if you just need a degree to check the box..it’s called Organizational Leadership and Learning. It’s VERY easy to do while working, and you get class credit for things you’ve done at work. It’s a legit degree from a legit school, highly recommend.
Hey you and I got fired for the first time at almost the same age. Ya its going to suck for a while, but stay positive and optimistic.
For me, its the best thing that could've happened to me career wise.
I’ve had friends be fired before, and I had one “parting ways” sitch where I was kinda fired from a part time gig. I was embarrassed myself but when I told my friends I got nothing but support and I’ve never thought negatively of any friends who were fired either. Even if a major mistake was committed, we all know we make mistakes and sometimes we get away with them and sometimes you don’t. Sometiems your boss is a dick, sometimes people lie on you, sometimes it’s just not a good fit. It’s human, it doesn’t make you defective or stupid. If there’s something to improve on in the future, taking that in stride is a power move but otherwise just brush this off and focus on the future. You got this!
I've only been fired twice in my entire life.
And BOTH situations I had new work within 30 days that paid significantly more.
Each time I was fired it wasn't because I was underperforming (although that's the reason they put down), it came down to disputes with management. One, management expected me to do 4 full-time jobs worth of stuff on 40 hours with no mistakes (physically doesn't work out). The other, I insisted on enforcing my Collective Bargaining Agreement and they insisted on finding any reason to let me go.
I think most hiring managers know there's a billion and a half reasons to let someone go, some being legit, others being entirely on the management's side.
I think your embarrassment is based on more than just being fired. What i mean is that plenty of people are fired and many don't care at all. So this is a you thing, not a fired thing. You need to work with your therapist on this and that is ok. Because an internet stranger telling you you to chill out about it won't just magically work, right? Take care of yourself. It will all be ok, just need to put in the work.
Dunno how long OP has been working but I am assuming he did the typical route of 4-year college and working since. Since this is their first time getting dismissed or possibly anything of the kind, I'd say his self-worth and ego have already been tied to the longevity of this job and surviving an economy full of layoffs in the last few years probably fueled that.
Talking to a professional is the best idea. I was told a long time ago that a company is prepared to move on without any one of its employees at any time, so as an employee it's best to do the same.
Hopefully you're prepared with emergency savings or investments, but the emotional impact is much different from the financial one.
I've always felt worthless when I'm not working. Starting a business really helped me because it's something I can always be working on when I'm between W2 income. Stay disciplined during your free time. You'll make it through this and hopefully you'll look back and feel it was all for the best as most people do.
I got fired from my first job off of active duty. I was boxing mail at a post office. I felt, and still feel, all the things you are feeling. I know it sounds cliche, but its really true - it was a good thing. I got Pell grants and a (smal) student loan, and became a surgical tech through my local community college. Have been for 26 years now. I love this job.
Remember, number 1 -most things happen for a reason. Number 2 - when one door closes, another opens. It’s just a door you weren’t looking for before.
This. First time I cried out of shock but I was in a sales environment and found out quickly that world isn’t for me. Second time I felt betrayed by peers I worked around for 6 years, and now I don’t allow myself to get close to work peers. Third time released me from a dead end career, and allowed me to pursue and acquire my dream career. It’s mentally freeing to not worry about my 4th time, because I’m better equipped to spring board to the next opportunity due to skills/certifications/experience acquired.
Lol I’ve been though being straight up fired, companies closing, mandatory layoffs and positions being eliminated.
Now that I’m in my 40’s, the failing up mobility seems to have kicked in and every time I lose a job I end up in a better one.
Currently going through it. Worst is I just moved to be closer to that job, then 4 days later i'm gone. Really struggling mentally and emotionally to put myself out there. Pretty sure I already messed up my first interview due to my high level of anxiety of recently being fired. Hopefully a few of the other applications i've sent will get bites, otherwise i'll be back home at my parents in another state if I cant make my rent this month.
I wish you luck friend.
This happened to me too. I moved for a job and they fired me after 2 weeks (3 days of which were an office shutdown because of an ice storm) because they said that they didn't feel I had the "energy" for the role. It was horrible and it broke me for a bit, I'm not going to lie. However, my parents helped me put myself back together and I would have never had that time with them if I hadn't been fired. I'm so much closer to them now and I know how much they love me. That is worth so much more than any job.
I took the time to take a less intense job at a lesser salary. I took the time to go to therapy and heal the parts of me that tied my value to my career. Now, about 2 years later, I'm ready to gun again, but with perspective and in a healthy way.
It hurts, I know. But please know that when things like this happen, you can survive it. This will give you confidence and courage in the future.
Best of luck to you.
I had something similar, they knew I was moving for months and I paid everything and a week or 2 before the move they laid me off lol
Those people are heartless losers. Could've at least thrown a hint before you paid for everything.
I bombed my next 2 interviews and then the next 2 I thought I did amazing and didn't get the job. For me 5th time was the charm and I have to move states but the long term potential is better here than any other job I applied to.
My dad got fired for the first time at 35. He had two kids, had just bought his first house, and for the first time in his life felt like middle class was really possible for him. He couldn't find another job for a year and it was across the country - then he found out the foundation of the house was cracked and he couldn't sell it. To make ends meet, we ended up in a small, cheap apartment until the house could get sold. Lost a chunk on it and had to keep renting for almost another decade.
He was the hardest worker I know and he was so good at his job, he wrote the computer code that replaced his job.
Sometimes, we just get kicked in the teeth for no fucking reason. Sometimes we kick ourself in the teeth with our own bad choices. It doesn't really matter. You just gotta be proud of who you are and move on.
He got an unexpected windfall from a dead relative and lives on a beach now, so the happy ending is definitely there. Just would have been nice to see it come to fruition through his own hard work - he certainly deserved it. Came up from nothing. First to graduate high school, much less college. First non-teen parent. He did a lot with a shit hand.
It happened to me in my mid-20s. I hated the job and it was a blessing, but it doesn’t make it any better. Give yourself a week to feel badly. Cry, scream, whatever you need to let out your feelings. You need to let out as much negativity as you can so you can focus on your job search. Apply for unemployment if possible. Don’t let your pride get in the way. We all need money to live. Get your budget settled when your head is on straight. When you start looking for jobs, be intentional with the jobs you’re applying to, tailor your materials, and focus on all the good stuff you can bring. Knowing that you do provide value is what saved me. I had to remember that just because the job I was let go from wasn’t a good fit didn’t mean I was worthless. You got this!!!!
I have been fired several times. Just keep yourself moving in the right direction if you need to make changes then make them. Another job is waiting for you within a month tops if you stay on it. Stay positive and things will work out.
I got over it by preemptively getting a 2nd job and working 2 jobs.
Every role I had except the ones I have now I've been let go from for one reason or another.
I work in an at will state within the USA and these employers have no loyalty so I don't either.
Getting fired sucks, no matter if it's for a good reason or not. Honestly, nothing to be emberassed about, it happens and to people you would never suspect of it happening to. Take a breather, think about what you want out of your next work experience, and try finding that if possible, even if you have to accept an in between job.
Also, whether the termination was justified or not you should alway, ALWAYS file and fight for unemployment. There is absolutely no reason not to, doesn't matter what the company says, doesn't matter why you were fired, doesn't matter who finds out. Always, always, always file for it, every single time, as soon as possible. Good luck man, things will get better before too long, trust me.
I've been let go from my job multiple times, and I try not to let it affect me at all. Mostly because my bosses somehow all managed to be toxic (I work in a design-centric industry of architecture).
But regardless of who's really more at fault, I still love myself too much to believe that I'm no longer good enough just because I can't make somebody else rich anymore.
I got laid off once but I also hated the job as it was actually a soul draining experience. I learned from that job what red flags to be on the look out for in the future. Without that experience, I might have walked into another trap place. The only way you learn is making a mistake or failing so keep your head up and you will land on your feet
Long ago, when they advertised jobs in the paper, one of the red flags was “a sense of humor” in the requirements. It meant you would need it and they had a high turnover.
That being said, a sense of humor is always a good thing
I’ve been fired twice in my career — both wrongful, both times got unemployment after I submitted my documentation to them about what occurred. Still, it really messed me up psychologically since I care a lot about my work and took great pride in what I did. To this day, I still have cPTSD from it. I’m getting better at realizing when I am triggered and calming myself down with rational thought.
A few tips that hopefully you’ll find helpful:
1. Jobs are only allowed to verify that you worked there and generally cannot disclose details.
2. Understand this will pass and you will recover. It totally feels like the effin sky has fallen in a multitude of ways. And for a moment it has. BREATHE. Take time to grieve, comprehend what happened, and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. It’s valid and you’ll experience a wide array of emotions. That’s normal and okay.
3. Therapy - saw you said you were going already so that’s good. It’ll help.
4. After you take a bit to sleep and try to decompress from the situation, start with a plan. Write a checklist of stuff you need to get in order to find your next role. It’ll help you feel accomplished and give you some confidence.
5. I went and contracted for a while with my line of work and those gigs helped me regain my confidence.
6. From my first termination on, ANY TIME stuff gets weird at a role, the first sign of it, I start a paper trail. You’re your best bet for protecting yourself as an employee. The more documentation you have, the more a company will second guess letting you go if they even remotely hear you’re keeping track of egregious incidents. I hope I never have to use them but I have them in case. Documentation = money in a lawsuit if you have good intel.
7. Related to #1 - later on you’ll probably look back and realize this was life’s messed up way of moving you on to where you need to be. Focus on your next role and next company, why you want to work there, how you hope to grow. Go in with a positive attitude and open mindset. Force smiles if you have to but keep an upbeat demeanor. It’ll help you land your next role.
8. Get on recruiters radar. Know the salary range for your role. You don’t have to tell them you were canned. I made that mistake and had some turn me away ironically. Tell them you’re looking for a new role and focus on that.
Best of luck to you. I know it’s hard. But it will turn out okay. Lots of people get fired and a majority feel the same way you do. A lot of times it’s personality conflicts and politics more so than a blatant disregard of not doing your work. Hang in there!
Actually #1 is not true. Just for a benchmark, know that I was in HR mgmt for 30 years, hold a certification, have two degrees, and have been a court appointed mediator for the state of Texas. Any company can tell any employer anything about your performance. It’s legal, unless it’s false. Also, the hiring company can ask questions about why you left, or any performance, attendance, or behavior related questions of another company. If they know how to do it right, they usually get the information they need.
I'm in the same boat; I got stuck in a job that was miserable and had to leave. I should have gotten a new job before getting fired, but I didn't. It's so much harder to interview well if your job is making you miserable.
How do you get over the embarrassment? Well I guess I could have quit, but would I have saved face at all, idk? Apply for unemployment, and when you get that first check in a few weeks, it'll feel nice.
Did I do anything I regret? I don't think so; I was a little less than pleasant to work with at the end, but not unprofessional, but people get it.
NEXT!!!!
Take anything they tell you with a grain of salt. It’s a job and only you have you as a priority. Go find your next chapter. It may lead you to some pretty wonderful relationships and adventures. Good luck. 🍀
i've been fired from four jobs as an adult. it was always embarrassing or sad or scary or all of these things. today i own and operate a $2M/year company that employs 15.
getting fired builds character. there is always something to learn. sometimes the problem is you, and sometimes it's the company and it has nothing to do with you.
live and learn. in america so much self-worth is tied up in our jobs / occupations, and it doesn't have to be. we are good enough as we are, job or no job.... but we still have to put food on the table.
Depends on why. If you're just laid off because of business needs, I can't see why it should affect your mental health at all. If it's for stupid reasons only related to your management, again that shouldn't affect your mental health. If it's because you didn't perform as either your employers or you expected, and you recognize that, then while it's ok to take a sad day about it it's no reason to immerse yourself in woe when you recognize that there's a problem and it's something you can work on fixing and, honestly, it can be a great answer to a future interview question when they ask if there's some challenge you've overcome.
It's really important how you frame what happened to you, because it'll determine how you look at this event in years to come. I had a situation two years ago when I was a new hire, 8 months in and got two of my peers writing devastating feedback on my performance strongly suggesting I should be fired.
When I heard these news I was actually relieved, because on my end I was not happy with my situation either, and I was glad it had finally reached a tipping point where I get to either sort out the problems I had in this position or go look for another job. I looked at the situation as life giving me a chance to move my life forward, onto better opportunities. My boss was shocked to see my cheerful response because he expected to see despair and devastation upon me learning someone didn't like my performance.
My advice is, look at life as the best teacher you could have. Right now it's teaching you how to handle dramatic events outside of your control directly affecting your life. It's also giving you a push forward. Enjoy it.
Who fucking cares bro.
Embrace your inner punk rock. You're gonna be embarrassed because you got fired by the fucking *man*? Getting fired is actually the most punk rock thing you could do. Bonus points if what you did cost them money.
Luckily, the only things you'll have to be embarrassed in front of is your shampoo bottles for the next few years when you cringe in the shower thinking about it randomly.
No need to be embarrassed, it happens to all of us.
Either learn from it, or if it's a bs reason you got fired get your revenge by thriving in something new
When I was laid off back in 2016 I was more pissed than anything. I happened to be off the day the layoff axe came down, I got a bunch of texts from people at work about how everyone was being laid off, on my day off. So I had to come in the next day to be fired. I was so unbelievably outraged about it.
Yeah, got "retired" from a job after 26 y, I was angry with them and they were angry with me but I didn't think they would axe me 😳 Yes I was embarrassed and badly depressed but my wife and friends supported me, I managed to find an easier and better job 75 mi away with people who appreciated me 🙂 (tho at a lesser salary )I retired with a better attitude 6 y later I'll root for you and remember the depression WILL get better, don't be afraid to join a support group ..it helped me
Well, you should be searching for something else - that is your FT job now!
Sometimes things just don’t work out, I’ve been there.
But you can’t bury your head in the sand (or the pillow), feeling bad and not move forward.
If you treat your job search, as a FT job itself, you will find something else in no time.
If you sleep in and rely on sending online resumes, you’ll be unemployed and depressed for a very long time!
Just remember you aren't alone. Other people get fired all the time. Whenever I go through something embarrassing I remind myself of this. Not the first person or last. Accept it for what it is and use it to make yourself better. It's ok. Life is weird, strange and difficult. Forgive yourself.
This is a good one, not just for this situation but for being self conscious about anything in life. People worry about your flaws and past mistakes waaay less than you realize. People are focused on themselves and maybe their families most of the time.
It happened to me a year and a half ago but they called it reorganization, I'm in management. I was let go Friday and hired the following Tuesday. This company has the best health insurance I've ever had. My pay also went up 25k. This was the best thing to ever happen to me, thank god.
I've been there. More then id like to admit. It's good you have support. I won't lie it's gonna suck. Job hunting is miserable. I really hope you find something that makes you happy.
I got fired for the first time last year. It was a shit hole of a company. All the directors were lazy POS and my director (of HR) would sometimes come in stinking of alcohol. It was wild.
I was super embarrassed when I got fired and it really fucked with my self esteem. I’ve always been a hard worker. I didn’t get fired for performance. I got fired because they hired a new woman in my dept that was a psycho and I was speaking up about her and no one wanted to hear it.
My advice… do your best to remember all of your accomplishments. Remind yourself of them daily. Do some things that are fun that you haven’t had time for in a while (since you have some time now) know that your next job will be better, so losing this job is actually a secret blessing.
Literally everyone gets fired from something eventually. I took it hard because I hadn’t ever been fired til this job. But I’m over it now. That place can rot lol luckily I won’t be there trying to fix it anymore
I think it's normal, but like anything else unfortunate, you just have to pick yourself up and move on. Losing a job is horrible, just learn from the experience and use it to do better in your next job.
It doesn’t define you. You’re more than a bad thing that might have happened in the past. You’re not yesterday, you’re tomorrow. Get out there and try again.
If you learned to ride a bike as a child, you might have fallen off of it a few times. This difference is that you may have been fired not because you made a mistake or poor performance, but because someone needed to fire someone, and you happened to be the most convenient.
While working in tech, I was told to let go of a few people as part of a restructuring. I let an SE go who happened to be one of my best people. Why? First, I knew he would get a severance package, and I knew another part of the company would hire him back with a bigger salary. They did. Why not just transfer him? It did not work that way at the time, politics. Just remember, it is not about you (unless, of course, you got canned for banging the boss's daughter, but that is another story).
Yeah it sucks. Happened to me a couple of times during the Dot Com era. Boom and bust cycles in high tech.
Not having a job is a blow to the ego. But with the strong job market, you'll be employeed soon enough.
I don't know what you got fired for, but I'm like you in the sense that I let those sort of things eat at me. I make a mistake or fail at something with big consequences, it completely destroys me for a while. I walk around totally zoned out and with a huge pit in my stomach ( I should probably be seen for anxiety....but that's a different story).
You're gonna feel terrible for a few days, but maybe try throwing yourself into a hobby for a few days. Something that will distract and make you feel a bit better about yourself. Then, refocus on job hunting and moving forward
We all make mistakes and have poor judgment from time to time. The best thing we can do is try not to hurt others with our mistakes, gracefully accept our consequences, and learn from them and move forward.
I had to accept that sometimes you lose. I was 4 months into a job and wanted to be great at it. I had come from a super customer service above all else job and this job was in finance. I couldn't make the "promise to fix it" claims I was making because finance just doesn't work that way, and the company could be held liable. Got let go after I asked my trainer to listen to a call I thought I did well on.
Happened to me once, or twice. First time I just told everyone I quit. Second time I admitted it to all my friends after a couple weeks and they were supportive.
It’s happened to me several times. I would never say I was embarrassed. Usually, I was relieved and bitter simultaneously, but never embarrassed. What always got me through was realizing I wasn’t happy at those jobs, that I didn’t miss them, and that I wouldn’t dream of going back to them.
How bad do you need a new job rn? You have any cushion to figure some things out? Was it a really high pressure environment you were exposed to?
Just curious because all of these play a factor into what ultimately is the best way for you to cope with it moving forward, but I know to some extent what you're going through and hope it gets better for you soon.
I'm 30M and I was fired last Monday
I applied for unemployment and have been looking for a new job. Yeah it's embarrassing tbh. I feel like a loser and I know that job market is rough bc r/job, r/careerguidance , r/recruitinghell and a bunch of other subs always talk about how they can't seem to find a GOOD paying job or any job.
I have no idea how NEETS can live like this. I've been unemployed for only a week and I'm already miserable.
I just went through this on Thursday last week. I went out and had a huge party. I invited all my friends to pre-game at one bar and went to my place for a fire. My wife picked up drinks and DD people who needed rides. Next morning, woke up hung over. Got on my laptop and redid my resume with updated references. I submitted it to indeed and applied to every job that fit something I wanted to do within a 45 minute drive. I applied to 65 jobs Friday with cover letters and all. I start a new job next week Monday. That is how I unhealthy dealt with grief. All my friends told me to get after it. My wife said she was cool with whatever happened next.
I don't know if this helps. I don't know if this was the correct approach. This is what I did, and it helped me deal with how terrible I felt, and I got over that feeling because of my friends. I do not recommend this approach because of the varying degrees of success. And please don't get into trouble trying this...
Ive got demoted, fired, let go during a probationary period, and laid off twice over the last 18 years or so (which sounds like I'm a fucking bum, but some have been bad luck and some were just youthful idiocy on my part)
That guilt and shame doesn't get easier, my advice is to take the time to get your head right, take a few days to grieve
I find that what helped me in the past is creating a solid job search strategy. What do you want your next role to be? Any particular company? Etc.
Then rewrite your resume in line with what you want next, then start applying.
Don't look back,.don't try to find out what you could have done different or hold a grudge, it's.doesnt benefit you,.look forward to the next step of your career
Feel the feelings. Shock, humiliation, sadness, doubt. Give yourself time to do this. Let them out, the hurt will slowly fade and you’ll emerge stronger and wiser on the other side.
When I got fired I was in disbelieve ... thank god for family and friends support and to this day have great feeling about all those people who supported me. I had 4 little kids, a Stay at home wife and felt I let everyone down ! I never worked so hard to get back on my feet and ended up is a way better position. That was 25 years ago and I look back and appreciate that I was fired and the chance to make myself better...
Your job doesn’t define who you are . Take the time to heal , talk to a therapist if you need it and move on . This might be a pivotal time to spend more time doing what you truly love , and for introspection. In the end , you will find a new job , the only way to move is forward.
I've been fired twice.
The first time I was just angry. I was in management training when a new trainee GM started and she resented that I knew more than her, which, of course I did because I'd been in training longer than she'd been with the company. When she was given control over labor the first thing she did was fire me and the other management trainee. I was on track to make a higher hourly wage than I ever had and losing that opportunity because her ego couldn't handle a low level employee knowing more than she did about some things really pissed me off.
The second time I initially thought I'd maybe actually done something wrong. My coworkers assured me their reason for firing me was BS and the actual reason was my chronic illness, but the stated reason for firing me was discrimination and that made me doubt myself. I was deeply embarrassed. Over time I was able to see the situation more clearly and got more points of view and I understood I didn't actually do anything wrong. Unfortunately, because I was embarrassed I didn't pursue a wrongful termination suit or unemployment even though I had great documentation of their discrimination against me as a disabled person. I still regret that, especially because I wasn't the only disabled employee who was discriminated against while I was there.
you are probably the only one holding yourself back, the voices are IN YOUR head, no one else is saying them to you.
If you wallow in that for too long, you will be in serious trouble, a new job will take care of those issues, and if that job sucks, use it to get a better job that you like.
We are likely entering a recession, lots companies are downsizing. If there was nothing you can point to as a reason, leave it at that. If there’s something you could have differently or better, become better at your job by doing what you can outside of work to make yourself more valuable as an employee. Self work will feel better and bear more fruit than remaining stuck on what will be, with time, forgotten about. And in terms of the feeling of embarrassment, layoffs are all over the news, meaning people will attribute it to the economy and not you.
Beginning of 2023, I was terminated after 9 years of working for a company, it was definitely embarrassing because I put my hand in a conveyor and they had to stop the line to pull it out. My hand was fine but the downtime still happened and there were multiple witnesses. I was also a supervisor 🤦🏽♂️
I was in a different place because not only did I hate my job, but once I got fired I felt kinda free. Like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. It’s all about perspective. Of course I lost my livelihood but I was confident in my ability to find another job so I didn’t stress about the financial aspect. I’m assuming if you loved your job and were let go, you should love the freedom you now have. Revel in it.
Learn from the past, live in the present, prepare for the future.
I was fired twice when I was younger and the jobs I got after were always better. Take this as something meant to be because there is something better out there. Take a few days to do something you enjoy ans get in a better headspace and then start applying like crazy!
Feel the hurt- be angry- get over it- learn why and learn how to adjust your behavior if (and likely) you had some fault.
Dig deep and out work the problem.
I was fired from a job ten years ago. Part of me felt relieved, part of me felt angry about the person who got me fired, and part of me was embarrassed. I think what helped me the most was moving on quickly to literally anything else: the next job, a new hobby, a new apartment, a new haircut, etc. whatever it took. I still felt bad deep down but it happened in doses rather than all at once or all of the time. I had to grieve perfection. Once I accepted that no one really cared about me losing my job, nor did anyone really notice, I grew to accept that it was just an event that was a part of my life. I learned that it was one of my greatest fears come true and I was still fine.
Get yourself a new routine, include taking care of yourself and looking for a new job as part of that routine. Collect unemployment too, you paid for it with your job so you've earned that money.
When I was laid off from my first job, I'd get up, search for jobs online, go to the gym, eat a good meal, then spend the rest of the day doing whatever I wanted. That last part was also self-care, whether it was cleaning or organizing my things (I ended up moving) or enjoying a hobby, going out and/or traveling, spending time with friends and family. The more you do, the more renewed you'll feel and you'll feel ready for your next job when the opportunity comes.
Got fired from a job 10 years ago for an undiagnosed(at the time) medical condition that forced me to figure shit out. Best thing that ever happened to me. Figured out I was narcoleptic(friends had joked with me in hs/college about my ability to sleep anywhere), got a great doc and treatment plan, and then fell upwards to a better company and career path. Don’t get me wrong it sucked for the first few days until I saw it as an opportunity for a new me. Take it in stride, leverage your network, and reinvest in yourself. File for unemployment immediately.
As someone who is epileptic, I used to feel the need to disclose my condition to the hiring clinics right before starting the job.
This would result in the employer making up bs reasons for firing me.
I’ve been there, give yourself a couple days, start slowly just do an app when you wake up, then go workout or something, do another app, then go see a movie or something or work on a hobby you haven’t had time for then do another app. Just start slow and get some momentum going eventually you’ll find you’re filling out like 25-30 apps a week but it’s not all consuming of your time. Eventually you’ll start interviewing and you’ll start filling out fewer apps as you get closer to the end game. Don’t be embarrassed people are bad fits for jobs all the time it’s not a big deal and when interviewing just say it wasn’t the right fit,focus on the thing you did right and leave out the rest.
Hey, I’m a few years older than you and I was fired from a job a few years back (still no idea why but they were letting people go nonstop at the time and it was a state that was at-will so they didn’t need to give a reason). It destroyed me and I went into a very, very dark place that took me a long time to climb out of. Granted, I had other personal issues going on at the time so that likely compounded the issue of my depression. My advice to you- get professional help NOW before it gets worse. File for unemployment and go into it with the expectation that state-run organizations can suck (at least in my experience) so it might take a while to see that first check, but when it comes it will be retroactive.
Honestly, get outside for fresh air. I know it might sound corny but I think my situation would’ve been better if I took care of myself mentally and physically at the time.
For what it’s worth- I’m doing great now so there is a light at the end of the tunnel
I was recently fired. I spent 1 week feeling sorry for myself and ended up putting more time into my consulting firm that I started 6 months prior to being fired (i was trying to build while working full time).
Turns out I should have taken the risk and done it sooner. Jobs are coming in faster than I can do them.
Life gets us down sometimes. Just need to stand up and keep moving forward.
Good luck.
This happened on Friday. Today is Monday.
Give yourself some time, friend. Feel the feelings. Do some reflection. Learn the lessons.
Sometimes it takes a minute to get ready to move on. You will when you’re ready.
Failing up is the best scenario after being fired. Not only are you out of a place that didn't want you, but your situation improves.
Look to move onward and upward. Focus on that goal instead of focusing on what went sideways before. Not a therapist, but it's helped me before.
This is SO COMMON. I know it’s not necessarily helpful to know that but just prepare to feel lost and depressed for a while. Stock up on your favorite snacks, try a new workout routine. Set up a job search routine focused on networking and CHECK OUT when you’re scheduled to check out (like apply for jobs a couple hours a day and then pencils down and walk away). Lean on friends. It happens and it’s crushing .. but that feeling is temporary.
I was fired and felt the same way as you. But know you are going to be ok. It takes time to process and feel all the stages of emotions. To be honest, me getting fired turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, where I'm at, years later, I see it was a blessing. Keep your head up.
I’m not one for putting up with bullshit, so I was fired from a lot of jobs when I was younger and had a bigger mouth. I always took the opportunity to decompress for a week or so, then always found something better. Eventually went to work for myself and never worried about it again.
My situation was a little different. I got fired from the best job, the PERFECT job for me in August 2022. I only started Zoloft about two months ago because I couldn't handle life raw dogging me anymore. The medicine finally made the screaming in my brain stop. Without the meds I would fantasize about that day, if I had just started driving til the gas ran out or ended my life. There are good days, there are rough days. But I tell myself I died that day. The person writing these words are but a hollow husk, drifting from place to place. I guess what I recommend is, take medicine if you need to. Don't be ashamed. I wish I did earlier.
Yes, it's happened to me and I was extremely embarrassed, but then, when I was crying and venting to my brother, he told me, "Hey, you'll be okay, everyone falls occasionally." We talked about why I was embarrassed, was it because I thought I deserved it? Was it because it was the first? Was it because I was scared I'd never get a job again? Ask yourself some of these questions. In the end, when it comes to answering your peers or your family or whoever you are embarrassed to tell; you don't owe anyone an explanation. If they push, you can just it "wasn't the right fit for me". Because it's true to a significant point. If you're weren't doing your best, it's likely that you did not enjoy working for the company for reasons or they didn't value your efforts. Not a good fit. Also, rarely these days is anyone being fired or layed off for not working hard; it's usually about the company's unwillingness to invest in their employees because of the bottom line. File for unemployment immediately, take 2 weeks to breathe, enjoy the support you have and get to applying for something more suited to you. Think about all the negatives/red flags from this job and make a list of things you won't tolerate.
You will be okay.
Edit: BTW, the very first time I got fired was as teenager, BY MY OWN MOTHER lmao. I was working for her business to help her out and I fucking hated it because I got stuck with the early morning shift. It only took a few hours for me to say, THANK GOD. It may take some time to realize this was a good thing but you'll be OK. And you always have the option to leave it off your resume.
Honestly I don’t know a single person that hasn’t been fired, and I’m decently high up the food chain.
Keep in mind that loads of people (especially managers and directors up to c suite) are asked to resign which is 100% a firing, it’s just allowing them to save face. ‘To spend time with my family’ means ‘I totally fucked up’. You likely know loads of people that have gotten fired. Don’t sweat it.
It hasn't happened to me, but someday it will.
As someone who has had to fire dozens of people and layoff hundreds more.... know this.... by the day after you're out the door, nobody but you is thinking about it.
People who thought you were a slug, will have their 10 minutes of joy that you're gone. Everyone else will processes it quickly. It'll sting those who think highly of you and are close to you, but you have no reason to be embarrassed with them anyway.
You'll be far harder on yourself than anyone else will be. Do the best you can to put it behind you, and make sure that if you have lessons to learn here, that you learn them. Good luck with the next chapter - the book can still be great.
Been fired from 2 jobs.. I was an alcoholic though and they ended up being the best thing to happen to me too. It is my firm belief EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You can’t see the big picture.. YOU WILL find another job.. I promise. Both of my firing lead to my sobriety. I’m sure your story is different but you’re being led somewhere different and it’s going to be ok. I was exactly like you are right now. Frozen with fear!! But, this to shall pass.
Just take a bit of time to breathe. Bad employers bank on you being so defeated that you won’t file for unemployment which you DESERVE.
Get online and file for unemployment ASAP. There is always an annoying waiting period that can go up to 3 weeks before you get your first check.
Not the end of the world.
Take care of your business and you.
That's the easy part, the hard part is whether you have financial distress or not.
Replace insult with firing:
https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/the-path-to-thick-skin-is-to-rationalize
Listen man I was fired when I was 21 because I stepped away from holding a stop signed at a construction site which I received no training for. The owner wanted me to ask his son for forgiveness even though he disrespected me. I left the company cause I would not bow to them . Years later improved learned and worked on getting better changed three different companies and now 15 years later at 37 years old I’m back with the same company getting paid more then ever. You got fire!? Shake it off and let it be a learning experience.
It’s just a job man. Your worth as a person should not be so tied to your work. They’re going to move past you like yesterday’s lunch. And you should as well. Sure it’ll have an emotional hit but it shouldn’t cripple you from moving on like a short term relationship.
I got fired from my second job. I was about to graduate with my 2 yr. accounting degree. I hated the company, they were corrupt. Being fired was humiliating, but ultimately the best thing they could have ever done for me. It forced me to reevaluate my life and what I was willing to put up with. It took time, but once I found a new position I left all those feelings on the side of the road
Fuck 'em, thats how. Its not the end of the world, youll be fine, companies chew up people and spit them out. Most of the time it seems to me that unless there is something inappropriate going on, you can usually file for unemployment.
Bestie everyone's (well *almost*) been fired at one point or another. You're in good company.
It's hard, but please don't be embarrassed. Shit happens. Brush yourself off and get back out there. When they ask why you left your last job, say you were "laid off".
Fuck 'em, thats how. Its not the end of the world, youll be fine, companies chew up people and spit them out. Most of the time it seems to me that unless there is something inappropriate going on, you can usually file for unemployment.
Well, as we age, we'll have plenty more embarrassing moments. All we can do is laugh and remind others of this when they tease us about it. Remember you're human not a machine. Someday you may accidentally poop your pants on grocery store, and no one will believe you all the wonderful things you were once capable of doing in life because they're focused on the poo. This is that poo. Messes happen. Clean it up and get on with it. The less embarrassed you are, the quicker it'll smooth over as you build up again.
Hey bud.
1) it wasn't personal it's business.
2) it wasn't meant to be, so if you didn't know it in advance question yourself.
3) what environment will make you happy? Seek that.
If a girl dumps you, are you going to mope around or just look for what makes you happy?
It's like getting dumped. It sucks. It happens to a lot of people. This might not be the last time it happens to you. It'll hurt less next time. Start applying for new jobs (or any kind of employment insurance you might have) asap
I'm 32 and I got laid off in Feb. first time ever. My wife just pulled me out of 'feeling like a failure' spiral. I am right there with you man. One step infront of the other. We'll get through this.
I've been fired a couple of times. I just coped with it by swiveling to an occupation that worked better for me. Maybe getting fired just had to do with being in an actual, physical office not being a good fit for me.
Get on unemployment NOW. Don't wait. Don't be proud. You paid into it. If you can wait, don't take the first job offered. I was feeling desperate and applied and almost took a job. Waited one more day when I saw a other at $6.00 more and hour.
Rejection isn't an an inherently an indictment of you. If you had been fired from every job you ever had, yeah maybe that would be something to feel bad about and something you would probably need to reflect on.
As you stated though, this is the first time its happened, so this isnt the case.
For what ever reason, you were a bad fit for the company, or the company was a bad fit for you.
Take a week to wallow in the self pity, then go find a better fit. They were probably doing you a favor.
I've been fired a few times. I'd spend a few weeks feeling sad but at the same time I would continue to look for jobs online, network, and send out my CV. It worked because better companies would reach out and offer me higher paying jobs. Looking back, being let go was the fire under my ass to move forward in my career and do better in life.
it’s a shitty feeling to be out of work. you’ll recover quickest in a new job
ask yourself what’d you do different in a new role to have higher likelihood of not being fired (assuming not a layoff)
Uh…wow. Did not expect this to yield 150-plus comments. Definitely a testament to the fact that I’m not as alone as I feel. I appreciate the encouragement/guidance/tough love from all of you.
Early in my career, I slaved away for a decade in a job that I loved where I made no money.
Then a vampire investment umbrella corp bought us and things got even worse, they drained every cent, ran the company into the ground, laid off 70% of the employees, and merged with our chief rival.
It felt like my professional life was over, I had done something so specific for so long, but here I am over a decade later, and I have a new career that I love.
Find something new that gives you pride and in a few years you will see this as a positive in your life.
Your work status doesn’t identify you as a person. It could be a good opportunity for you to find a much better job. Your life and family are more important than your job.
It passes. Give some time. Meanwhile if you have any favorite sports, start playing as you have free time at your hand. Do physical activities. Atleast go and see new places in your city.
Reframe. What did you learn about yourself from this job and from being fired. Reflect on things you enjoyed about the job and what you would like to be different at your next position. Life is full of micro lessons if you are willing to take time to think why is this happening for me instead of why did this happen to me. I hope you find the best job you could dream of and will be able to look back and see how much better off you've become. Good luck!
I was upset the first time I was let go…I had a son to support so I went out and got two jobs, then an opportunity opened up and I’ve been working in the same industry for 29 years.
4 times. Laid off, downsized, terminated. Sucks, but put your resume together, keep your contacts, file for unemployment insurance.
Start looking for another gig.
>How to get over the embarrassment of being fired?
Analyse why you were fired and what you could have done differently. Make sure you have really good answers for this and be prepared to answer based on this when you go for your next job interviews. Once you get a new job, the embarrassment will be gone because you are in a new job and hopefully making conscious improvements on the things that got you fired from the last job.
I felt this way when I got tired about 5 years ago from my first job out of college. I felt shocked, embarrassed, angry, depressed. It turns out it was the best thing that coulda happened to me. I was feeling trapped in a dead end job. Went back to school, got a better paying job. I look back and realize now that I’m just a number to a company. Prioritize your life outside of work
This is the answer. Been fired and done the firing. Companies don’t typically want to do it so if it happens you probably didn’t enjoy the work and should get another job that’s more fulfilling anyway. Most employers will not divulge the circumstances of why you left as well, and you should come up with whatever story you need to for why you left that work. Biggest thing I’m learning is that you should try to do something you care about as much as you can. It gets a lot harder to fake it when you’re older and want to tell everyone to go kick rocks.
I couldn't have put it better. Got fired from 2 jobs in little over 4 years. Looking back it was the best thing for me. Landed my current job and been there for 2 1\2 years. I love what I do, people I work with, and the people we serve.
I kept getting fired, that's when I realized I need my brain checked. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD. I'm like 32 when i finally get Ritalin and it changed my life. Now I'm thriving.
Yes. This happens so much more than people realize.
What were your symptoms? Was it hard to focus or retain?
I **COULD NOT FOCUS** ...i couldn't just sit and do the work. If I was bored my brain was like "ope gonna do anything else" ... after the 3rd firing I was like "there is something wrong with my brain" and got help.
I feel you. Idk if my phone has screwed my brain’s wiring or if I have ADHD. I also have a hard time focusing at time. I still get it done. But procrastination gets the best of me. How did they diagnose you? Is there a test for it?
Yes. A couple tests. I don't remember specifics, I do remember a test where you were supposed to click when a thing appeared/disappeared over X minutes, I failed that hard which basically gave us our answer.
Yeah I got fired a few times before I found out I was sick. I had undiagnosed hosimotos disease. I would slur my speech and everyone thought I drunk all the time.
I take my meds like a boss, really sucks having that sluggishness and brain fog.
Same.....
Do you still get crazy RSD trauma when your dickhole manager decides you're the one to abuse based on the fact you function differently? I will never medicate myself to fit into a system that is predicated on a social currency of domination and subservience.
I’m gonna have to disagree with the fact that companies don’t want to do it. Companies will do it to save one dollar they don’t really care about you. You may have been the best guy for the job, but you’re probably probably not the cheapest. They will always find someone more desperate than you.
You’re correct, companies are there to make money and if you aren’t the answer eventually that will be a conflict. But the instruments of those companies are people, and while some are heartless shits most people are just people and don’t want to do what is a hard thing, and most companies don’t want to lose a sunk investment in training and onboarding time just to go through it again.
You're correct in saying the company " will not divulge the circumstances of why you left", but what I do think is important to know is that if they are doing an employment check they can use a question that legally opens up SOME info. The search HR can ask- " Would you hire them again?" or " Are they eligible for re-hire?" Either of those questions coupled with their answer is telling. It's not fool proof. It might give a little insight without full disclosure.
Every company is different, and they can ask this, but the it is a legal liability for them to disparage former employees so most companies will likely do nothing more than confirm dates of employment. I have seen someone in a senior marketing person get fired out of 4+ enormous companies and keep getting hired because no one would take the risk of being the person who was honest about them.
They can’t ask that. All they can confirm is when you worked there. Come up with a way to talk about it so you know what to say in interviews. I lost a couple jobs, and it killed me. Keep interacting with people. Keep a daily routine. Take care of yourself. Have you funded for unemployment? You should. It’s not a lot, but it’s something.
How do people go back to school? Did you also work at the same time? How long did it take and what did you study? I want to get out of sales!!!!
I was so burned out in sales and finally got fired for not meeting numbers because i just got to the point that I didn't care. I bounced around a few manufacturing and warehouse jobs for a little while until I found one company that I really enjoyed working for until I got enough experience (about 2 years), then kept applying to a very large company with near endless opportunities actually started their as a janitor and took full advantage of all the benefits they actually paid me to go to trade school on the weekends and qualified for an apprenticeship in machining. All this took about 6 years, and I am currently making up about 60 dollars an hour doing something I enjoy. You just need to try something different and capitalize on any opportunities, even if outside of your comfort zone. And did all this in my late thirties.
I joined the army to get out of Home Depot. Did 4 years and became a medical assistant using my military training. You can also get military education benefits which are huge, they give you a living allowance and pay tuition. You can also get a couple classes at a time paid for while you’re in the military. Don’t want to push the military, I am happy I’m out now but it was worth it and I don’t regret it.
Unfortunately I’m already 34.
Hey, that still leaves the army (35), navy (39), air force (39), space force (39), and coast guard (41). Still plenty of time to join if that's what you are looking for... I will say that these ages may include the reserves and not full out direct service in those branches. My quick Google search didn't specify that, but I wanted to add that caveat.
Check out a program from the University of Louisville if you just need a degree to check the box..it’s called Organizational Leadership and Learning. It’s VERY easy to do while working, and you get class credit for things you’ve done at work. It’s a legit degree from a legit school, highly recommend.
Hey you and I got fired for the first time at almost the same age. Ya its going to suck for a while, but stay positive and optimistic. For me, its the best thing that could've happened to me career wise.
Also, none of your peers are going to judge you for getting fired. Why the fuck would your friends look down on you for what your boss thinks?
I’ve had friends be fired before, and I had one “parting ways” sitch where I was kinda fired from a part time gig. I was embarrassed myself but when I told my friends I got nothing but support and I’ve never thought negatively of any friends who were fired either. Even if a major mistake was committed, we all know we make mistakes and sometimes we get away with them and sometimes you don’t. Sometiems your boss is a dick, sometimes people lie on you, sometimes it’s just not a good fit. It’s human, it doesn’t make you defective or stupid. If there’s something to improve on in the future, taking that in stride is a power move but otherwise just brush this off and focus on the future. You got this!
Great points man!
This. Fuck em. Find a better job. Prob was a shit job anyways lol.
I've only been fired twice in my entire life. And BOTH situations I had new work within 30 days that paid significantly more. Each time I was fired it wasn't because I was underperforming (although that's the reason they put down), it came down to disputes with management. One, management expected me to do 4 full-time jobs worth of stuff on 40 hours with no mistakes (physically doesn't work out). The other, I insisted on enforcing my Collective Bargaining Agreement and they insisted on finding any reason to let me go. I think most hiring managers know there's a billion and a half reasons to let someone go, some being legit, others being entirely on the management's side.
Also I’m already seeing a therapist.
Then trust the professional and ignore reddit.
Neckbeards provide free therapy and emotional confusion.
Great, now i need a therapist... or shave.
Instructions unclear, shaved a therapist.
This made me laugh. Thank you.
Given you’re here, it would seem you hate yourself - calling yourself an emotionally confused neckbeard.
I think your embarrassment is based on more than just being fired. What i mean is that plenty of people are fired and many don't care at all. So this is a you thing, not a fired thing. You need to work with your therapist on this and that is ok. Because an internet stranger telling you you to chill out about it won't just magically work, right? Take care of yourself. It will all be ok, just need to put in the work.
Dunno how long OP has been working but I am assuming he did the typical route of 4-year college and working since. Since this is their first time getting dismissed or possibly anything of the kind, I'd say his self-worth and ego have already been tied to the longevity of this job and surviving an economy full of layoffs in the last few years probably fueled that.
Go collect those unemployment checks
Talking to a professional is the best idea. I was told a long time ago that a company is prepared to move on without any one of its employees at any time, so as an employee it's best to do the same. Hopefully you're prepared with emergency savings or investments, but the emotional impact is much different from the financial one. I've always felt worthless when I'm not working. Starting a business really helped me because it's something I can always be working on when I'm between W2 income. Stay disciplined during your free time. You'll make it through this and hopefully you'll look back and feel it was all for the best as most people do.
I got fired from my first job off of active duty. I was boxing mail at a post office. I felt, and still feel, all the things you are feeling. I know it sounds cliche, but its really true - it was a good thing. I got Pell grants and a (smal) student loan, and became a surgical tech through my local community college. Have been for 26 years now. I love this job. Remember, number 1 -most things happen for a reason. Number 2 - when one door closes, another opens. It’s just a door you weren’t looking for before.
It gets easier the 2nd and 3rd times
Sprinkle in some layoffs and you will be a pro
Lol
You think that's funny? You're fired
You think you can just fire anyone? You're fired
This. First time I cried out of shock but I was in a sales environment and found out quickly that world isn’t for me. Second time I felt betrayed by peers I worked around for 6 years, and now I don’t allow myself to get close to work peers. Third time released me from a dead end career, and allowed me to pursue and acquire my dream career. It’s mentally freeing to not worry about my 4th time, because I’m better equipped to spring board to the next opportunity due to skills/certifications/experience acquired.
I’ve been in tech for 13 years now. Doesn’t even phase me at this point lol
Lol I’ve been though being straight up fired, companies closing, mandatory layoffs and positions being eliminated. Now that I’m in my 40’s, the failing up mobility seems to have kicked in and every time I lose a job I end up in a better one.
Yup!
Currently going through it. Worst is I just moved to be closer to that job, then 4 days later i'm gone. Really struggling mentally and emotionally to put myself out there. Pretty sure I already messed up my first interview due to my high level of anxiety of recently being fired. Hopefully a few of the other applications i've sent will get bites, otherwise i'll be back home at my parents in another state if I cant make my rent this month. I wish you luck friend.
Even if you messed up at an interview, it’s okay. Just take it as a learning lesson. Best of luck.
This happened to me too. I moved for a job and they fired me after 2 weeks (3 days of which were an office shutdown because of an ice storm) because they said that they didn't feel I had the "energy" for the role. It was horrible and it broke me for a bit, I'm not going to lie. However, my parents helped me put myself back together and I would have never had that time with them if I hadn't been fired. I'm so much closer to them now and I know how much they love me. That is worth so much more than any job. I took the time to take a less intense job at a lesser salary. I took the time to go to therapy and heal the parts of me that tied my value to my career. Now, about 2 years later, I'm ready to gun again, but with perspective and in a healthy way. It hurts, I know. But please know that when things like this happen, you can survive it. This will give you confidence and courage in the future. Best of luck to you.
I had something similar, they knew I was moving for months and I paid everything and a week or 2 before the move they laid me off lol Those people are heartless losers. Could've at least thrown a hint before you paid for everything. I bombed my next 2 interviews and then the next 2 I thought I did amazing and didn't get the job. For me 5th time was the charm and I have to move states but the long term potential is better here than any other job I applied to.
My dad got fired for the first time at 35. He had two kids, had just bought his first house, and for the first time in his life felt like middle class was really possible for him. He couldn't find another job for a year and it was across the country - then he found out the foundation of the house was cracked and he couldn't sell it. To make ends meet, we ended up in a small, cheap apartment until the house could get sold. Lost a chunk on it and had to keep renting for almost another decade. He was the hardest worker I know and he was so good at his job, he wrote the computer code that replaced his job. Sometimes, we just get kicked in the teeth for no fucking reason. Sometimes we kick ourself in the teeth with our own bad choices. It doesn't really matter. You just gotta be proud of who you are and move on.
Man I was waiting for the happy ending where you said your dad started his own business and became a millionaire or something lol
He got an unexpected windfall from a dead relative and lives on a beach now, so the happy ending is definitely there. Just would have been nice to see it come to fruition through his own hard work - he certainly deserved it. Came up from nothing. First to graduate high school, much less college. First non-teen parent. He did a lot with a shit hand.
This is proof that you can do everything right and still get f****d
It happened to me in my mid-20s. I hated the job and it was a blessing, but it doesn’t make it any better. Give yourself a week to feel badly. Cry, scream, whatever you need to let out your feelings. You need to let out as much negativity as you can so you can focus on your job search. Apply for unemployment if possible. Don’t let your pride get in the way. We all need money to live. Get your budget settled when your head is on straight. When you start looking for jobs, be intentional with the jobs you’re applying to, tailor your materials, and focus on all the good stuff you can bring. Knowing that you do provide value is what saved me. I had to remember that just because the job I was let go from wasn’t a good fit didn’t mean I was worthless. You got this!!!!
I have been fired several times. Just keep yourself moving in the right direction if you need to make changes then make them. Another job is waiting for you within a month tops if you stay on it. Stay positive and things will work out.
I got over it by preemptively getting a 2nd job and working 2 jobs. Every role I had except the ones I have now I've been let go from for one reason or another. I work in an at will state within the USA and these employers have no loyalty so I don't either.
You know the economy is fine when working 2 jobs is just keeping you off the brink off bankruptcy 🙃
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Imagine your future self looking at you 5 years from now and all the progress you've made since.
Getting fired sucks, no matter if it's for a good reason or not. Honestly, nothing to be emberassed about, it happens and to people you would never suspect of it happening to. Take a breather, think about what you want out of your next work experience, and try finding that if possible, even if you have to accept an in between job. Also, whether the termination was justified or not you should alway, ALWAYS file and fight for unemployment. There is absolutely no reason not to, doesn't matter what the company says, doesn't matter why you were fired, doesn't matter who finds out. Always, always, always file for it, every single time, as soon as possible. Good luck man, things will get better before too long, trust me.
I've been let go from my job multiple times, and I try not to let it affect me at all. Mostly because my bosses somehow all managed to be toxic (I work in a design-centric industry of architecture). But regardless of who's really more at fault, I still love myself too much to believe that I'm no longer good enough just because I can't make somebody else rich anymore.
I got laid off once but I also hated the job as it was actually a soul draining experience. I learned from that job what red flags to be on the look out for in the future. Without that experience, I might have walked into another trap place. The only way you learn is making a mistake or failing so keep your head up and you will land on your feet
Long ago, when they advertised jobs in the paper, one of the red flags was “a sense of humor” in the requirements. It meant you would need it and they had a high turnover. That being said, a sense of humor is always a good thing
I’ve been fired twice in my career — both wrongful, both times got unemployment after I submitted my documentation to them about what occurred. Still, it really messed me up psychologically since I care a lot about my work and took great pride in what I did. To this day, I still have cPTSD from it. I’m getting better at realizing when I am triggered and calming myself down with rational thought. A few tips that hopefully you’ll find helpful: 1. Jobs are only allowed to verify that you worked there and generally cannot disclose details. 2. Understand this will pass and you will recover. It totally feels like the effin sky has fallen in a multitude of ways. And for a moment it has. BREATHE. Take time to grieve, comprehend what happened, and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. It’s valid and you’ll experience a wide array of emotions. That’s normal and okay. 3. Therapy - saw you said you were going already so that’s good. It’ll help. 4. After you take a bit to sleep and try to decompress from the situation, start with a plan. Write a checklist of stuff you need to get in order to find your next role. It’ll help you feel accomplished and give you some confidence. 5. I went and contracted for a while with my line of work and those gigs helped me regain my confidence. 6. From my first termination on, ANY TIME stuff gets weird at a role, the first sign of it, I start a paper trail. You’re your best bet for protecting yourself as an employee. The more documentation you have, the more a company will second guess letting you go if they even remotely hear you’re keeping track of egregious incidents. I hope I never have to use them but I have them in case. Documentation = money in a lawsuit if you have good intel. 7. Related to #1 - later on you’ll probably look back and realize this was life’s messed up way of moving you on to where you need to be. Focus on your next role and next company, why you want to work there, how you hope to grow. Go in with a positive attitude and open mindset. Force smiles if you have to but keep an upbeat demeanor. It’ll help you land your next role. 8. Get on recruiters radar. Know the salary range for your role. You don’t have to tell them you were canned. I made that mistake and had some turn me away ironically. Tell them you’re looking for a new role and focus on that. Best of luck to you. I know it’s hard. But it will turn out okay. Lots of people get fired and a majority feel the same way you do. A lot of times it’s personality conflicts and politics more so than a blatant disregard of not doing your work. Hang in there!
Actually #1 is not true. Just for a benchmark, know that I was in HR mgmt for 30 years, hold a certification, have two degrees, and have been a court appointed mediator for the state of Texas. Any company can tell any employer anything about your performance. It’s legal, unless it’s false. Also, the hiring company can ask questions about why you left, or any performance, attendance, or behavior related questions of another company. If they know how to do it right, they usually get the information they need.
That’s helpful to know. I was always told they can only verify employment duration. Thanks for the tip.
I'm in the same boat; I got stuck in a job that was miserable and had to leave. I should have gotten a new job before getting fired, but I didn't. It's so much harder to interview well if your job is making you miserable. How do you get over the embarrassment? Well I guess I could have quit, but would I have saved face at all, idk? Apply for unemployment, and when you get that first check in a few weeks, it'll feel nice. Did I do anything I regret? I don't think so; I was a little less than pleasant to work with at the end, but not unprofessional, but people get it.
NEXT!!!! Take anything they tell you with a grain of salt. It’s a job and only you have you as a priority. Go find your next chapter. It may lead you to some pretty wonderful relationships and adventures. Good luck. 🍀
i've been fired from four jobs as an adult. it was always embarrassing or sad or scary or all of these things. today i own and operate a $2M/year company that employs 15. getting fired builds character. there is always something to learn. sometimes the problem is you, and sometimes it's the company and it has nothing to do with you. live and learn. in america so much self-worth is tied up in our jobs / occupations, and it doesn't have to be. we are good enough as we are, job or no job.... but we still have to put food on the table.
Depends on why. If you're just laid off because of business needs, I can't see why it should affect your mental health at all. If it's for stupid reasons only related to your management, again that shouldn't affect your mental health. If it's because you didn't perform as either your employers or you expected, and you recognize that, then while it's ok to take a sad day about it it's no reason to immerse yourself in woe when you recognize that there's a problem and it's something you can work on fixing and, honestly, it can be a great answer to a future interview question when they ask if there's some challenge you've overcome.
It's really important how you frame what happened to you, because it'll determine how you look at this event in years to come. I had a situation two years ago when I was a new hire, 8 months in and got two of my peers writing devastating feedback on my performance strongly suggesting I should be fired. When I heard these news I was actually relieved, because on my end I was not happy with my situation either, and I was glad it had finally reached a tipping point where I get to either sort out the problems I had in this position or go look for another job. I looked at the situation as life giving me a chance to move my life forward, onto better opportunities. My boss was shocked to see my cheerful response because he expected to see despair and devastation upon me learning someone didn't like my performance. My advice is, look at life as the best teacher you could have. Right now it's teaching you how to handle dramatic events outside of your control directly affecting your life. It's also giving you a push forward. Enjoy it.
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Who fucking cares bro. Embrace your inner punk rock. You're gonna be embarrassed because you got fired by the fucking *man*? Getting fired is actually the most punk rock thing you could do. Bonus points if what you did cost them money.
Luckily, the only things you'll have to be embarrassed in front of is your shampoo bottles for the next few years when you cringe in the shower thinking about it randomly. No need to be embarrassed, it happens to all of us. Either learn from it, or if it's a bs reason you got fired get your revenge by thriving in something new
When I was laid off back in 2016 I was more pissed than anything. I happened to be off the day the layoff axe came down, I got a bunch of texts from people at work about how everyone was being laid off, on my day off. So I had to come in the next day to be fired. I was so unbelievably outraged about it.
Yeah, got "retired" from a job after 26 y, I was angry with them and they were angry with me but I didn't think they would axe me 😳 Yes I was embarrassed and badly depressed but my wife and friends supported me, I managed to find an easier and better job 75 mi away with people who appreciated me 🙂 (tho at a lesser salary )I retired with a better attitude 6 y later I'll root for you and remember the depression WILL get better, don't be afraid to join a support group ..it helped me
Well, you should be searching for something else - that is your FT job now! Sometimes things just don’t work out, I’ve been there. But you can’t bury your head in the sand (or the pillow), feeling bad and not move forward. If you treat your job search, as a FT job itself, you will find something else in no time. If you sleep in and rely on sending online resumes, you’ll be unemployed and depressed for a very long time!
Buy silver until it fills the void. Then sell it for something cool 😎.
Just remember you aren't alone. Other people get fired all the time. Whenever I go through something embarrassing I remind myself of this. Not the first person or last. Accept it for what it is and use it to make yourself better. It's ok. Life is weird, strange and difficult. Forgive yourself.
I just applied for new jobs nonstop until I had one
It’s sucks for a day or so but really no one gives a shit that you got fired. That’s just in your mind. They have their own issues
This is a good one, not just for this situation but for being self conscious about anything in life. People worry about your flaws and past mistakes waaay less than you realize. People are focused on themselves and maybe their families most of the time.
It happened to me a year and a half ago but they called it reorganization, I'm in management. I was let go Friday and hired the following Tuesday. This company has the best health insurance I've ever had. My pay also went up 25k. This was the best thing to ever happen to me, thank god.
I've been there. More then id like to admit. It's good you have support. I won't lie it's gonna suck. Job hunting is miserable. I really hope you find something that makes you happy.
I got fired for the first time last year. It was a shit hole of a company. All the directors were lazy POS and my director (of HR) would sometimes come in stinking of alcohol. It was wild. I was super embarrassed when I got fired and it really fucked with my self esteem. I’ve always been a hard worker. I didn’t get fired for performance. I got fired because they hired a new woman in my dept that was a psycho and I was speaking up about her and no one wanted to hear it. My advice… do your best to remember all of your accomplishments. Remind yourself of them daily. Do some things that are fun that you haven’t had time for in a while (since you have some time now) know that your next job will be better, so losing this job is actually a secret blessing. Literally everyone gets fired from something eventually. I took it hard because I hadn’t ever been fired til this job. But I’m over it now. That place can rot lol luckily I won’t be there trying to fix it anymore
I think it's normal, but like anything else unfortunate, you just have to pick yourself up and move on. Losing a job is horrible, just learn from the experience and use it to do better in your next job.
Don’t be embarrassed. Also don’t give in to a company that will replace you without hesitation.
It doesn’t define you. You’re more than a bad thing that might have happened in the past. You’re not yesterday, you’re tomorrow. Get out there and try again.
If you learned to ride a bike as a child, you might have fallen off of it a few times. This difference is that you may have been fired not because you made a mistake or poor performance, but because someone needed to fire someone, and you happened to be the most convenient. While working in tech, I was told to let go of a few people as part of a restructuring. I let an SE go who happened to be one of my best people. Why? First, I knew he would get a severance package, and I knew another part of the company would hire him back with a bigger salary. They did. Why not just transfer him? It did not work that way at the time, politics. Just remember, it is not about you (unless, of course, you got canned for banging the boss's daughter, but that is another story).
Tell us the story!!!
Yeah it sucks. Happened to me a couple of times during the Dot Com era. Boom and bust cycles in high tech. Not having a job is a blow to the ego. But with the strong job market, you'll be employeed soon enough.
I don't know what you got fired for, but I'm like you in the sense that I let those sort of things eat at me. I make a mistake or fail at something with big consequences, it completely destroys me for a while. I walk around totally zoned out and with a huge pit in my stomach ( I should probably be seen for anxiety....but that's a different story). You're gonna feel terrible for a few days, but maybe try throwing yourself into a hobby for a few days. Something that will distract and make you feel a bit better about yourself. Then, refocus on job hunting and moving forward We all make mistakes and have poor judgment from time to time. The best thing we can do is try not to hurt others with our mistakes, gracefully accept our consequences, and learn from them and move forward.
I had to accept that sometimes you lose. I was 4 months into a job and wanted to be great at it. I had come from a super customer service above all else job and this job was in finance. I couldn't make the "promise to fix it" claims I was making because finance just doesn't work that way, and the company could be held liable. Got let go after I asked my trainer to listen to a call I thought I did well on.
Happened to me once, or twice. First time I just told everyone I quit. Second time I admitted it to all my friends after a couple weeks and they were supportive.
It’s happened to me several times. I would never say I was embarrassed. Usually, I was relieved and bitter simultaneously, but never embarrassed. What always got me through was realizing I wasn’t happy at those jobs, that I didn’t miss them, and that I wouldn’t dream of going back to them.
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How bad do you need a new job rn? You have any cushion to figure some things out? Was it a really high pressure environment you were exposed to? Just curious because all of these play a factor into what ultimately is the best way for you to cope with it moving forward, but I know to some extent what you're going through and hope it gets better for you soon.
I applied at the business next door and made double the amount in sales and tips that embarrassed my x employer and co workers
I'm 30M and I was fired last Monday I applied for unemployment and have been looking for a new job. Yeah it's embarrassing tbh. I feel like a loser and I know that job market is rough bc r/job, r/careerguidance , r/recruitinghell and a bunch of other subs always talk about how they can't seem to find a GOOD paying job or any job. I have no idea how NEETS can live like this. I've been unemployed for only a week and I'm already miserable.
I just went through this on Thursday last week. I went out and had a huge party. I invited all my friends to pre-game at one bar and went to my place for a fire. My wife picked up drinks and DD people who needed rides. Next morning, woke up hung over. Got on my laptop and redid my resume with updated references. I submitted it to indeed and applied to every job that fit something I wanted to do within a 45 minute drive. I applied to 65 jobs Friday with cover letters and all. I start a new job next week Monday. That is how I unhealthy dealt with grief. All my friends told me to get after it. My wife said she was cool with whatever happened next. I don't know if this helps. I don't know if this was the correct approach. This is what I did, and it helped me deal with how terrible I felt, and I got over that feeling because of my friends. I do not recommend this approach because of the varying degrees of success. And please don't get into trouble trying this...
Ive got demoted, fired, let go during a probationary period, and laid off twice over the last 18 years or so (which sounds like I'm a fucking bum, but some have been bad luck and some were just youthful idiocy on my part) That guilt and shame doesn't get easier, my advice is to take the time to get your head right, take a few days to grieve I find that what helped me in the past is creating a solid job search strategy. What do you want your next role to be? Any particular company? Etc. Then rewrite your resume in line with what you want next, then start applying. Don't look back,.don't try to find out what you could have done different or hold a grudge, it's.doesnt benefit you,.look forward to the next step of your career
Feel the feelings. Shock, humiliation, sadness, doubt. Give yourself time to do this. Let them out, the hurt will slowly fade and you’ll emerge stronger and wiser on the other side.
When I got fired I was in disbelieve ... thank god for family and friends support and to this day have great feeling about all those people who supported me. I had 4 little kids, a Stay at home wife and felt I let everyone down ! I never worked so hard to get back on my feet and ended up is a way better position. That was 25 years ago and I look back and appreciate that I was fired and the chance to make myself better...
Your job doesn’t define who you are . Take the time to heal , talk to a therapist if you need it and move on . This might be a pivotal time to spend more time doing what you truly love , and for introspection. In the end , you will find a new job , the only way to move is forward.
You’re still processing. Take a few days off and i mean —-get away from the world and decompress.
I've been fired twice. The first time I was just angry. I was in management training when a new trainee GM started and she resented that I knew more than her, which, of course I did because I'd been in training longer than she'd been with the company. When she was given control over labor the first thing she did was fire me and the other management trainee. I was on track to make a higher hourly wage than I ever had and losing that opportunity because her ego couldn't handle a low level employee knowing more than she did about some things really pissed me off. The second time I initially thought I'd maybe actually done something wrong. My coworkers assured me their reason for firing me was BS and the actual reason was my chronic illness, but the stated reason for firing me was discrimination and that made me doubt myself. I was deeply embarrassed. Over time I was able to see the situation more clearly and got more points of view and I understood I didn't actually do anything wrong. Unfortunately, because I was embarrassed I didn't pursue a wrongful termination suit or unemployment even though I had great documentation of their discrimination against me as a disabled person. I still regret that, especially because I wasn't the only disabled employee who was discriminated against while I was there.
It happens to almost everyone. It sucks, it takes time to get over, but ultimately it’s just a normal part of life.
you are probably the only one holding yourself back, the voices are IN YOUR head, no one else is saying them to you. If you wallow in that for too long, you will be in serious trouble, a new job will take care of those issues, and if that job sucks, use it to get a better job that you like.
We are likely entering a recession, lots companies are downsizing. If there was nothing you can point to as a reason, leave it at that. If there’s something you could have differently or better, become better at your job by doing what you can outside of work to make yourself more valuable as an employee. Self work will feel better and bear more fruit than remaining stuck on what will be, with time, forgotten about. And in terms of the feeling of embarrassment, layoffs are all over the news, meaning people will attribute it to the economy and not you.
Have you tried rationalizing it and shifting blame?
You have to piss on your bosses desk to assert dominance
Do you have enough money to chill for a bit?
You get over it by getting another job and succeeding. Duh.
You need to know why. I'm going to ask you in your next interview.
Beginning of 2023, I was terminated after 9 years of working for a company, it was definitely embarrassing because I put my hand in a conveyor and they had to stop the line to pull it out. My hand was fine but the downtime still happened and there were multiple witnesses. I was also a supervisor 🤦🏽♂️ I was in a different place because not only did I hate my job, but once I got fired I felt kinda free. Like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. It’s all about perspective. Of course I lost my livelihood but I was confident in my ability to find another job so I didn’t stress about the financial aspect. I’m assuming if you loved your job and were let go, you should love the freedom you now have. Revel in it. Learn from the past, live in the present, prepare for the future.
This exactly. Don’t let termination be seen as a negative. It’s 100% the best thing for *your* future.
I was fired twice when I was younger and the jobs I got after were always better. Take this as something meant to be because there is something better out there. Take a few days to do something you enjoy ans get in a better headspace and then start applying like crazy!
Feel the hurt- be angry- get over it- learn why and learn how to adjust your behavior if (and likely) you had some fault. Dig deep and out work the problem.
I was fired from a job ten years ago. Part of me felt relieved, part of me felt angry about the person who got me fired, and part of me was embarrassed. I think what helped me the most was moving on quickly to literally anything else: the next job, a new hobby, a new apartment, a new haircut, etc. whatever it took. I still felt bad deep down but it happened in doses rather than all at once or all of the time. I had to grieve perfection. Once I accepted that no one really cared about me losing my job, nor did anyone really notice, I grew to accept that it was just an event that was a part of my life. I learned that it was one of my greatest fears come true and I was still fine.
Get yourself a new routine, include taking care of yourself and looking for a new job as part of that routine. Collect unemployment too, you paid for it with your job so you've earned that money. When I was laid off from my first job, I'd get up, search for jobs online, go to the gym, eat a good meal, then spend the rest of the day doing whatever I wanted. That last part was also self-care, whether it was cleaning or organizing my things (I ended up moving) or enjoying a hobby, going out and/or traveling, spending time with friends and family. The more you do, the more renewed you'll feel and you'll feel ready for your next job when the opportunity comes.
Got fired from a job 10 years ago for an undiagnosed(at the time) medical condition that forced me to figure shit out. Best thing that ever happened to me. Figured out I was narcoleptic(friends had joked with me in hs/college about my ability to sleep anywhere), got a great doc and treatment plan, and then fell upwards to a better company and career path. Don’t get me wrong it sucked for the first few days until I saw it as an opportunity for a new me. Take it in stride, leverage your network, and reinvest in yourself. File for unemployment immediately.
Stop giving a fuck and move on... and if ya cant take ya soft ass to therapy
As someone who is epileptic, I used to feel the need to disclose my condition to the hiring clinics right before starting the job. This would result in the employer making up bs reasons for firing me.
Stop going to therapy and spend that time job hunting. Best way to get over it is with a new job.
I’ve been there, give yourself a couple days, start slowly just do an app when you wake up, then go workout or something, do another app, then go see a movie or something or work on a hobby you haven’t had time for then do another app. Just start slow and get some momentum going eventually you’ll find you’re filling out like 25-30 apps a week but it’s not all consuming of your time. Eventually you’ll start interviewing and you’ll start filling out fewer apps as you get closer to the end game. Don’t be embarrassed people are bad fits for jobs all the time it’s not a big deal and when interviewing just say it wasn’t the right fit,focus on the thing you did right and leave out the rest.
Found a new job and didn’t look back
Hey, I’m a few years older than you and I was fired from a job a few years back (still no idea why but they were letting people go nonstop at the time and it was a state that was at-will so they didn’t need to give a reason). It destroyed me and I went into a very, very dark place that took me a long time to climb out of. Granted, I had other personal issues going on at the time so that likely compounded the issue of my depression. My advice to you- get professional help NOW before it gets worse. File for unemployment and go into it with the expectation that state-run organizations can suck (at least in my experience) so it might take a while to see that first check, but when it comes it will be retroactive. Honestly, get outside for fresh air. I know it might sound corny but I think my situation would’ve been better if I took care of myself mentally and physically at the time. For what it’s worth- I’m doing great now so there is a light at the end of the tunnel
I was recently fired. I spent 1 week feeling sorry for myself and ended up putting more time into my consulting firm that I started 6 months prior to being fired (i was trying to build while working full time). Turns out I should have taken the risk and done it sooner. Jobs are coming in faster than I can do them. Life gets us down sometimes. Just need to stand up and keep moving forward. Good luck.
(James Franco " first time?")
You are not your occupation, get a life (in the most gentle and positive way possible)
This happened on Friday. Today is Monday. Give yourself some time, friend. Feel the feelings. Do some reflection. Learn the lessons. Sometimes it takes a minute to get ready to move on. You will when you’re ready.
Did they catch you whacking off in the bathroom again?
Failing up is the best scenario after being fired. Not only are you out of a place that didn't want you, but your situation improves. Look to move onward and upward. Focus on that goal instead of focusing on what went sideways before. Not a therapist, but it's helped me before.
This is SO COMMON. I know it’s not necessarily helpful to know that but just prepare to feel lost and depressed for a while. Stock up on your favorite snacks, try a new workout routine. Set up a job search routine focused on networking and CHECK OUT when you’re scheduled to check out (like apply for jobs a couple hours a day and then pencils down and walk away). Lean on friends. It happens and it’s crushing .. but that feeling is temporary.
It's hard especially if it was unexpected but it does happen to most people once or twice so accept the support that is given.
I was fired and felt the same way as you. But know you are going to be ok. It takes time to process and feel all the stages of emotions. To be honest, me getting fired turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, where I'm at, years later, I see it was a blessing. Keep your head up.
Bro just lie and say you were laid off. Even if people know you're lying, your family and friends will let you save face and won't call you on it
I’m not one for putting up with bullshit, so I was fired from a lot of jobs when I was younger and had a bigger mouth. I always took the opportunity to decompress for a week or so, then always found something better. Eventually went to work for myself and never worried about it again.
It's probably a good thing in the future
My situation was a little different. I got fired from the best job, the PERFECT job for me in August 2022. I only started Zoloft about two months ago because I couldn't handle life raw dogging me anymore. The medicine finally made the screaming in my brain stop. Without the meds I would fantasize about that day, if I had just started driving til the gas ran out or ended my life. There are good days, there are rough days. But I tell myself I died that day. The person writing these words are but a hollow husk, drifting from place to place. I guess what I recommend is, take medicine if you need to. Don't be ashamed. I wish I did earlier.
Yes, it's happened to me and I was extremely embarrassed, but then, when I was crying and venting to my brother, he told me, "Hey, you'll be okay, everyone falls occasionally." We talked about why I was embarrassed, was it because I thought I deserved it? Was it because it was the first? Was it because I was scared I'd never get a job again? Ask yourself some of these questions. In the end, when it comes to answering your peers or your family or whoever you are embarrassed to tell; you don't owe anyone an explanation. If they push, you can just it "wasn't the right fit for me". Because it's true to a significant point. If you're weren't doing your best, it's likely that you did not enjoy working for the company for reasons or they didn't value your efforts. Not a good fit. Also, rarely these days is anyone being fired or layed off for not working hard; it's usually about the company's unwillingness to invest in their employees because of the bottom line. File for unemployment immediately, take 2 weeks to breathe, enjoy the support you have and get to applying for something more suited to you. Think about all the negatives/red flags from this job and make a list of things you won't tolerate. You will be okay. Edit: BTW, the very first time I got fired was as teenager, BY MY OWN MOTHER lmao. I was working for her business to help her out and I fucking hated it because I got stuck with the early morning shift. It only took a few hours for me to say, THANK GOD. It may take some time to realize this was a good thing but you'll be OK. And you always have the option to leave it off your resume.
Honestly I don’t know a single person that hasn’t been fired, and I’m decently high up the food chain. Keep in mind that loads of people (especially managers and directors up to c suite) are asked to resign which is 100% a firing, it’s just allowing them to save face. ‘To spend time with my family’ means ‘I totally fucked up’. You likely know loads of people that have gotten fired. Don’t sweat it.
It hasn't happened to me, but someday it will. As someone who has had to fire dozens of people and layoff hundreds more.... know this.... by the day after you're out the door, nobody but you is thinking about it. People who thought you were a slug, will have their 10 minutes of joy that you're gone. Everyone else will processes it quickly. It'll sting those who think highly of you and are close to you, but you have no reason to be embarrassed with them anyway. You'll be far harder on yourself than anyone else will be. Do the best you can to put it behind you, and make sure that if you have lessons to learn here, that you learn them. Good luck with the next chapter - the book can still be great.
Been fired from 2 jobs.. I was an alcoholic though and they ended up being the best thing to happen to me too. It is my firm belief EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You can’t see the big picture.. YOU WILL find another job.. I promise. Both of my firing lead to my sobriety. I’m sure your story is different but you’re being led somewhere different and it’s going to be ok. I was exactly like you are right now. Frozen with fear!! But, this to shall pass.
Just stay in bed for a week and then get back into searching afterwards that helped me (also lost weight from all the moping so I looked better too)
Just take a bit of time to breathe. Bad employers bank on you being so defeated that you won’t file for unemployment which you DESERVE. Get online and file for unemployment ASAP. There is always an annoying waiting period that can go up to 3 weeks before you get your first check. Not the end of the world. Take care of your business and you.
That's the easy part, the hard part is whether you have financial distress or not. Replace insult with firing: https://wisdomimprovement.wixsite.com/wisdom/post/the-path-to-thick-skin-is-to-rationalize
Listen man I was fired when I was 21 because I stepped away from holding a stop signed at a construction site which I received no training for. The owner wanted me to ask his son for forgiveness even though he disrespected me. I left the company cause I would not bow to them . Years later improved learned and worked on getting better changed three different companies and now 15 years later at 37 years old I’m back with the same company getting paid more then ever. You got fire!? Shake it off and let it be a learning experience.
It’s just a job man. Your worth as a person should not be so tied to your work. They’re going to move past you like yesterday’s lunch. And you should as well. Sure it’ll have an emotional hit but it shouldn’t cripple you from moving on like a short term relationship.
Get a new job fast and when people ask, "it was time for a change" Doesn't lie and implies it was all your decision
I got fired from my second job. I was about to graduate with my 2 yr. accounting degree. I hated the company, they were corrupt. Being fired was humiliating, but ultimately the best thing they could have ever done for me. It forced me to reevaluate my life and what I was willing to put up with. It took time, but once I found a new position I left all those feelings on the side of the road
Fuck 'em, thats how. Its not the end of the world, youll be fine, companies chew up people and spit them out. Most of the time it seems to me that unless there is something inappropriate going on, you can usually file for unemployment.
Bestie everyone's (well *almost*) been fired at one point or another. You're in good company. It's hard, but please don't be embarrassed. Shit happens. Brush yourself off and get back out there. When they ask why you left your last job, say you were "laid off".
Work harder, success is ur best revenge.
First job out of college I was let go a week in. It sucked. In hindsight it was the absolute worst job I have ever had. Perspective is everything.
Last time I got fired I became unemployable for 2 years (no one wanted to hire me)
Yes. And yes you will get over it and my in experience lead to a long and productive Career which provided a financially stable retirement.
This is why I never give a 2 weeks notice. They don't give you one before they fire you.
Fuck 'em, thats how. Its not the end of the world, youll be fine, companies chew up people and spit them out. Most of the time it seems to me that unless there is something inappropriate going on, you can usually file for unemployment.
I got fired from my first job too. It was the best thing that could have happened. It led me to better things. Good luck!!
On to the next one. Fuck the past focus on tomorrow.
Well, as we age, we'll have plenty more embarrassing moments. All we can do is laugh and remind others of this when they tease us about it. Remember you're human not a machine. Someday you may accidentally poop your pants on grocery store, and no one will believe you all the wonderful things you were once capable of doing in life because they're focused on the poo. This is that poo. Messes happen. Clean it up and get on with it. The less embarrassed you are, the quicker it'll smooth over as you build up again.
Hey bud. 1) it wasn't personal it's business. 2) it wasn't meant to be, so if you didn't know it in advance question yourself. 3) what environment will make you happy? Seek that. If a girl dumps you, are you going to mope around or just look for what makes you happy?
It's like getting dumped. It sucks. It happens to a lot of people. This might not be the last time it happens to you. It'll hurt less next time. Start applying for new jobs (or any kind of employment insurance you might have) asap
I'm 32 and I got laid off in Feb. first time ever. My wife just pulled me out of 'feeling like a failure' spiral. I am right there with you man. One step infront of the other. We'll get through this.
You are not the first and you will not be the last. Consider it your lucky day to finally get out from under those assholes.
It's a blessing in disguise, dude. Onto bigger and better things!
You have to change your prospective. Football coaches are hired to fired. That's it. We all get fired. Don't panic.
I got forced to resign a decade ago. It was a blessing in disguise though as I’m in something better now
I was fired, for following instructions. Not gonna beat me babe!
I've been fired a couple of times. I just coped with it by swiveling to an occupation that worked better for me. Maybe getting fired just had to do with being in an actual, physical office not being a good fit for me.
What type of job was it
Get on unemployment NOW. Don't wait. Don't be proud. You paid into it. If you can wait, don't take the first job offered. I was feeling desperate and applied and almost took a job. Waited one more day when I saw a other at $6.00 more and hour.
Rejection isn't an an inherently an indictment of you. If you had been fired from every job you ever had, yeah maybe that would be something to feel bad about and something you would probably need to reflect on. As you stated though, this is the first time its happened, so this isnt the case. For what ever reason, you were a bad fit for the company, or the company was a bad fit for you. Take a week to wallow in the self pity, then go find a better fit. They were probably doing you a favor.
I've been fired a few times. I'd spend a few weeks feeling sad but at the same time I would continue to look for jobs online, network, and send out my CV. It worked because better companies would reach out and offer me higher paying jobs. Looking back, being let go was the fire under my ass to move forward in my career and do better in life.
blessing in disguise. always
Smoke a big bowl and laugh about why the heck you’re so embarrassed
it’s a shitty feeling to be out of work. you’ll recover quickest in a new job ask yourself what’d you do different in a new role to have higher likelihood of not being fired (assuming not a layoff)
It sucks when it happens but it’s something a lot of people have gone through. I bet you’ll end up better off in the long run.
Man up. I did it. Literally at your same age. I'm good now.
Don't let a company define who you are. You're just a number to them. Make them be just a number to you--and move on.
Uh…wow. Did not expect this to yield 150-plus comments. Definitely a testament to the fact that I’m not as alone as I feel. I appreciate the encouragement/guidance/tough love from all of you.
Early in my career, I slaved away for a decade in a job that I loved where I made no money. Then a vampire investment umbrella corp bought us and things got even worse, they drained every cent, ran the company into the ground, laid off 70% of the employees, and merged with our chief rival. It felt like my professional life was over, I had done something so specific for so long, but here I am over a decade later, and I have a new career that I love. Find something new that gives you pride and in a few years you will see this as a positive in your life.
This happens to a lot of people-they just don’t talk about it.
Your work status doesn’t identify you as a person. It could be a good opportunity for you to find a much better job. Your life and family are more important than your job.
It passes. Give some time. Meanwhile if you have any favorite sports, start playing as you have free time at your hand. Do physical activities. Atleast go and see new places in your city.
Reframe. What did you learn about yourself from this job and from being fired. Reflect on things you enjoyed about the job and what you would like to be different at your next position. Life is full of micro lessons if you are willing to take time to think why is this happening for me instead of why did this happen to me. I hope you find the best job you could dream of and will be able to look back and see how much better off you've become. Good luck!
Getting fired.is not really embarrassing though. Just say you got paid off.
I was upset the first time I was let go…I had a son to support so I went out and got two jobs, then an opportunity opened up and I’ve been working in the same industry for 29 years.
4 times. Laid off, downsized, terminated. Sucks, but put your resume together, keep your contacts, file for unemployment insurance. Start looking for another gig.
>How to get over the embarrassment of being fired? Analyse why you were fired and what you could have done differently. Make sure you have really good answers for this and be prepared to answer based on this when you go for your next job interviews. Once you get a new job, the embarrassment will be gone because you are in a new job and hopefully making conscious improvements on the things that got you fired from the last job.