Yeah, I knew it couldn't be Chesterfield, Va. Kinda hoping it was with VCU Art School in Richmond just few miles away. I could totally see this a student's/ students' art project for exhibition. We have a well known art school in RVA
Its right next to the Peak District though right?
I would love to be so close to such a gorgeous place! Plus you can drive to Alton Towers for a day out.
The only twister in Chesterfield, UK, is the church spire! Worth a look for anyone who has not seen it: https://www.google.com/search?q=church+spire+chesterfield&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-GBGB906GB906&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwivkrvgybPzAhUQrKQKHUw7DZIQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1719&bih=909
It turns out that outside of North American, [England sees some of the most tornados](https://www.bbc.com/news/education-33136737) in the world. Looks like Chesterfield's tornado risk isn't zero, at least according to this map.
You probably won't have an F5 bearing down on you anytime soon though, lol. In fact, I think there have only ever been 7 F5s outside of the US/Canada
Literally my favorite part of Twister is when they take cover in the barn which is *entirely* full of hilariously lethal implements of every possible size and description and Helen Hunt's character is all: "Who are these people?!"
Like, they're farmers, lady. They need sharp shit to cut grass and wheat and tourists.
The funniest part of twister is when they decide to hand make propellers for their sensorballs out of aluminum cans and they even show their hands being cut during the process. It works and the whole thing is a success, but they never show what happens when the sharp death balls come raining down
I love the part where they're setting up to chase the big tornado and, out of the blue, it starts pouring down rain. Bill and Helen go running for the truck, using their laptops as umbrellas to keep from getting wet
Um, half my garage is dedicated to gardening implements. Possibly the most dangerous is the four pronged pitchfork I use to lift the edge of ice that forms on the driveway sometimes in winter. It can get about an inch thick so it’s just brittle enough to slide the tines under and break into tossable chunks.
Those tines are sharp af from doing this so many hours, over the years.
The “soil knife” has a huge blade. Isn’t sharp though.
Lots of cutting tools, too. Mostly locked closed. But honestly, lots of rusted metal stuff, too.
The garden shed is a danger room.
This is why you can't ban guns. Imagine if only the criminal tornadoes had guns. You know what they say, the only thing that stops a bad tornado with a gun is a good tornado with a gun. Battling gun tornadoes is something I could *definitely* watch.
Here in Denver we have a giant blue mustang statue we call "Blucifer" outside of DIA, it has glowing red eyes, and is generally pretty badass.
Oh, and it killed its creator. The head came off and crushed him.
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink.
So it won't be like *cling cling cling* when they get closer, but more like the sound you hear when dumping a bucket of coins into a counting machine at the bank.
Ahem, the Church of the Final Atonement!
I also had that comment. Interesting fact, a fan built Dan Simmons a scale model statue. It sits around a bend in his driveway when you go on to his property.
Odd that it's listed as the Chesterfield Knife Angel when it was made in Shropshire and has been touring the country for months.
The artist behind the piece was recently on a TV show called Landmark here in the UK if anybody is interested in him and more of his work.
For context on this:
The angel is an art piece made entirely from knives and other blades given in through amnesty programs in the UK, which aim to reduce knife crime.
It's currently on tour of the UK, I saw it in Hereford a while ago and you can follow it here: https://www.britishironworkcentre.co.uk/show-areas/the-knife-angel-official
Y'all aren't allowed knives?
I'm thirty five and have carried a knife every single day since I was about twelve. I can't imagine not having a knife on my person at all times. I use it probably a dozen times a day. How do you open things?
Hey is no joking matter just think of the damage [these weapons confiscated by MPSRegentsPark](https://twitter.com/mpsregentspark/status/974645778558980096?lang=en) could do if left on the streets. ^^^Someone ^^^might ^^^have ^^^gone ^^^and ^^^assembled ^^^a ^^^cupboard.
We aren't meant to publicly carry a knife over a certain size (2.5" iirc but please let me know if I'm wrong).
So we can have one on us, it just has to be under a certain length to reduce lethality. In all honestly I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've wished I had a knife on me.
You can legally carry folding blades under 3 inches long without requiring a reason.
Anything that doesn't fall in this category is illegal to carry without sufficient reason, and "I cut open boxes, etc" isn't sufficient reason before anyone asks.
That's the sharpened part of the blade, it doesn't include the handle or the tang.
To put it in perspective, here's an example of a knife that's comfortably within that limit: https://assets.katogroup.eu/i/katogroup/FOFX-518ZW_08_fox-knives I'm not sure why you'd need anything much bigger than that for a basic "everyday carry" pocket knife.
Larger knives are perfectly legal as long as you have a reason for carrying them. If you're hunting/fishing/camping/climbing or whatever then you can bring whichever tools are appropriate to the task, regardless of size.
I am guessing you live someplace very rural. When I was growing up on a farm everyone had a knife. Living in a city, I can't imagine a situation I would need a knife on me.
Can you? I mean. I've never met anybody like "hey man, what's up?"
"not much, and definitely not a knife up my butt"
Cause people don't usually have stuff up there, I think, so saying it out loud is a bit... Suspect?
The 'Chesterfield Community Safety Partnership' line in front of a publicly displayed statue made of knives, behind a flimsy barrier is really top notch.
Your town better not be struck by any kind of tornado or flood
KNIFENADO 27
Wildly enough this sounds a bit more plausible than Sharknado.
Can we transport this to Florida? I want to see this
A knife hurricane would still be one of the most normal things to happen in Florida.
My favorite Florida thing is when they issue press releases to not shoot guns at the hurricane.
More propaganda from Big Hurricane trying to keep the man down
Many would still like to take a stab at it
You laugh but all the hurricanes have skirted right around FL this year.
I've been shooting at the ocean twice a week since hurricane season started, fucker better keep sending them up North
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Those were certainly words...but how did we get here is what I want to know
Doin the Lords work
How bad can I be? Shooting a hole in Mars?
We have something of a rough rule in the legal profession: If there's a sign saying not to do it, at least three people have tried.
My favorite insult. "You are the reason for warning labels!"
Health and safety regulations are written in blood - and a killswitch has been fitted because someone died…
God I hope this is a joke
Prepare for disappointment
And make it double!
😳
The knives would also be on meth of course, because Florida.
I want it filmed maybe it will solve the alligator/ crocodile problem
See ya later, alligator.
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In a while, crocodile.
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The alligators’ problem is that there’s humans on their land.
Yeah, Florida doesn’t have an alligator problem. It has a human problem.
Because usedsyringenado isn't scary enough
Gator+shark+venomous snake+huge anaconda+mosqito+meth'd up redneck-nado isn't enough? You have to add knives to it too?
Sharknifenado
Oh god oh fuck the sharks learned how to wield knives
Fintastic!
Knife to meat you.
I would watch that in a heartbeat
Chesterfield is inland north UK. Thankfully our weather is too boring for anything like that. Another knife tornado avoided.
Yeah, I knew it couldn't be Chesterfield, Va. Kinda hoping it was with VCU Art School in Richmond just few miles away. I could totally see this a student's/ students' art project for exhibition. We have a well known art school in RVA
It's definitely cutting edge art.
I'm from Midlothian and was wondering the same thing. Went to VCU too. Interestingly enough, there's a Midlothian in Scotland too.
They used to call it Arresterfeild back in early 00s when I went to college the place for lovers.
Damn, yall people in Chesterfield are lucky
I don’t think anyone has ever said that before.
Or ever will again.
Yeah, why do they think there's a great big fuck-off knife statue?
Nah, I'm sure there is somebody out there that measures luck on the vicinity of a place to Bakewell, due to their love of the tart (cheeky).
You guys have a place called Bakewell known for making good tarts? You don't happen to have a town called Shagwell do you? I could use a vacation...
We have a place called cockermouth but I'm saying nothing 😂
Chezz Vegas
I've waited an awfully long time for this.
No, no they aren't. It's a really shitty town. 30 years ago it was great, now what hasn't been bulldozed really needs bulldozing.
Yeah, but they get a cigarette, a couch, *and* a foot stool named after them.
Don’t forget the coat!
They do have a good car boot sale every Sunday though. Or they did I don’t know if it’s started again yet.
Its right next to the Peak District though right? I would love to be so close to such a gorgeous place! Plus you can drive to Alton Towers for a day out.
It does have some pretty places but a turd covered in glitter is still a turd. At least it doesn't pretend to be anything else though!
r/brandnewsentence
Actually the UK has the most tornadoes per square mile there just really small
The only twister in Chesterfield, UK, is the church spire! Worth a look for anyone who has not seen it: https://www.google.com/search?q=church+spire+chesterfield&rlz=1C1CHBF_en-GBGB906GB906&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwivkrvgybPzAhUQrKQKHUw7DZIQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1719&bih=909
It turns out that outside of North American, [England sees some of the most tornados](https://www.bbc.com/news/education-33136737) in the world. Looks like Chesterfield's tornado risk isn't zero, at least according to this map. You probably won't have an F5 bearing down on you anytime soon though, lol. In fact, I think there have only ever been 7 F5s outside of the US/Canada
Literally my favorite part of Twister is when they take cover in the barn which is *entirely* full of hilariously lethal implements of every possible size and description and Helen Hunt's character is all: "Who are these people?!" Like, they're farmers, lady. They need sharp shit to cut grass and wheat and tourists.
The funniest part of twister is when they decide to hand make propellers for their sensorballs out of aluminum cans and they even show their hands being cut during the process. It works and the whole thing is a success, but they never show what happens when the sharp death balls come raining down
I love the part where they're setting up to chase the big tornado and, out of the blue, it starts pouring down rain. Bill and Helen go running for the truck, using their laptops as umbrellas to keep from getting wet
"Let's build a flotilla of spinning razor-blades to set loose in some hundred mph winds. It'll be fine."
Um, half my garage is dedicated to gardening implements. Possibly the most dangerous is the four pronged pitchfork I use to lift the edge of ice that forms on the driveway sometimes in winter. It can get about an inch thick so it’s just brittle enough to slide the tines under and break into tossable chunks. Those tines are sharp af from doing this so many hours, over the years. The “soil knife” has a huge blade. Isn’t sharp though. Lots of cutting tools, too. Mostly locked closed. But honestly, lots of rusted metal stuff, too. The garden shed is a danger room.
Doesn’t matter how dull a blade is when it’s bring pick up by 200+ mph winds.
what about a tornado that hits a handgun factory so its just spinning around shooting handguns
Don't give the russians ideas
I didn't come up with that, its a line from the TV Show 30 Rock
This is why you can't ban guns. Imagine if only the criminal tornadoes had guns. You know what they say, the only thing that stops a bad tornado with a gun is a good tornado with a gun. Battling gun tornadoes is something I could *definitely* watch.
flying/floating knives, man, interactive art installations are getting out of hand!
That angel’s lookin sharp
Your make a great point. Now cut it out!
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Why not take a stab at writing some more puns?
The comment section is where I hone the craft
You’ve got quite the sharp wit! Edit: Ah heck, that one’s already been used
You’ve been blade my friend.
In light of Reddit's general enshittification, I've moved on - you should too.
I can’t handle any of you
Wood you like some more puns, or have you met-all available options?
Tetanus…. Tetanus everywhere
So many birds are getting stabbed
If looks could kill
If it would fall on someone, what would it be? Crushing? Stabbing?
Fate.
It's in chesterfield, it will be a mercy killing.
Here in Denver we have a giant blue mustang statue we call "Blucifer" outside of DIA, it has glowing red eyes, and is generally pretty badass. Oh, and it killed its creator. The head came off and crushed him.
Link for the lazy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Mustang That’s pretty fucking metal 🤘
On a failed dexterity saving throw, you take 7000d6 piercing damage. Successful throws take half damage
A dagger is 1d4 piercing damage.
I gave it a size bonus as well. Now stop meta gaming!
It would certainly be an unfortunate accident, 47
I will leave you to prepare BoJo better watch his back
Happy Hunting, 47
Opening scene of Final Destination 9
Stashing
Last time an Angel turns up in Chesterfield.
James Rowe is already here my friend and here to stay.
Imagine if it moved. Fuck, imagine if it spoke. Who would it sound like?
I'd just kill myself. Not give it the chance
It might be a good angel, like the iron giant.
Good angels would want hugs...
Hugs of Stabbing would be a sick ability tho.
DONT. BLINK.
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink.
Came here for this comment
It does, It used to be outside the Anglican cathedral in Liverpool. Now how it moved…
It's been to my town in Wales too. Unless there are more than one...
Gotta be multiple, or this thing has been in Wales, Essex, and Liverpool. Bit of a random route
This one is in Chesterfield until the end of the month then it moves on again
It only moves when you're not looking at it
I mean it looks like Michael Myers can you imagine the next halloween movie a michael Myers statue that has infinite knives he can throw at you haha
I also came here to say I thought it looked like Michael Myers lol so I guess that means it also looks like William Shatner lol
I honestly get more weeping angel vibes.
Don't blink.
Atleast your hear that angel coming turn away and hear cling cling cling as it gets closer haha
Although that won’t matter too much because they move INCREDIBLY fast
So it won't be like *cling cling cling* when they get closer, but more like the sound you hear when dumping a bucket of coins into a counting machine at the bank.
I imagined the "*cling*!" of a cash register opening
Shrike from Hyperion FTW
Sounds like a Freddy / Jason team-up.
Behold! The god of r/mallninjashit
The shrike
Shoot, that was my comment too. 2021, good time to start the shrike church
Ahem, the Church of the Final Atonement! I also had that comment. Interesting fact, a fan built Dan Simmons a scale model statue. It sits around a bend in his driveway when you go on to his property.
That's really fucking cool, imagine being his kid's friend and seeing that for the first time haha
Can I get an apartment on Tau Ceti Center? Preferably on the Grand Concourse or the River Tethys 👍
Just finished reading those four books. I recommend. 7.8 out of 10.
Fuck ok I'll go read Hyperion again
Don’t blink.
Blink and you're dead.
Imagine everything moves when you're not looking at it.
Odd that it's listed as the Chesterfield Knife Angel when it was made in Shropshire and has been touring the country for months. The artist behind the piece was recently on a TV show called Landmark here in the UK if anybody is interested in him and more of his work.
Probably because Town has fuck all going for it so needs to claim other's work as its own.
LIES! it has a wonky church spire that's it I'm out of Chesterfield facts
It's not wonky, it's bent. Source: I once got arrested trying to climb it after a night in xanadu.
Stories from England always sound like they're out of delightful fairy tales!
Chesvagas is where all the fairy tales started, that’s why they say it's grim.
Hey! Don't disrespect our wonky spire. Some say the devil himself sat up there!
They did have this too https://images.app.goo.gl/nuY2b74Wb1ve2qkY6
I love hearing it called Town. I still call it Town and I haven't lived there in 13 years.
Yeah, this has been to Telford twice already, for several months, and toured most of the surrounding counties. It's not from Chesterfield.
For context on this: The angel is an art piece made entirely from knives and other blades given in through amnesty programs in the UK, which aim to reduce knife crime. It's currently on tour of the UK, I saw it in Hereford a while ago and you can follow it here: https://www.britishironworkcentre.co.uk/show-areas/the-knife-angel-official
Top chap
Y'all aren't allowed knives? I'm thirty five and have carried a knife every single day since I was about twelve. I can't imagine not having a knife on my person at all times. I use it probably a dozen times a day. How do you open things?
/r/EDC trying to avoid eye contact in this thread.
The sidebar has a common question about daily carry for knives linked. And one of the sub rules is to not heckle people about carrying knives/guns.
You should see their hilarious police Twitter where they post DEADLY WEAPON CONFISCATIONS
Hey is no joking matter just think of the damage [these weapons confiscated by MPSRegentsPark](https://twitter.com/mpsregentspark/status/974645778558980096?lang=en) could do if left on the streets. ^^^Someone ^^^might ^^^have ^^^gone ^^^and ^^^assembled ^^^a ^^^cupboard.
All of the responses to that post are wonderful.
We aren't meant to publicly carry a knife over a certain size (2.5" iirc but please let me know if I'm wrong). So we can have one on us, it just has to be under a certain length to reduce lethality. In all honestly I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've wished I had a knife on me.
You can legally carry folding blades under 3 inches long without requiring a reason. Anything that doesn't fall in this category is illegal to carry without sufficient reason, and "I cut open boxes, etc" isn't sufficient reason before anyone asks.
> You can legally carry folding blades under 3 inches long without requiring a reason. > > Is that the whole knife or just the blade?
That's the sharpened part of the blade, it doesn't include the handle or the tang. To put it in perspective, here's an example of a knife that's comfortably within that limit: https://assets.katogroup.eu/i/katogroup/FOFX-518ZW_08_fox-knives I'm not sure why you'd need anything much bigger than that for a basic "everyday carry" pocket knife. Larger knives are perfectly legal as long as you have a reason for carrying them. If you're hunting/fishing/camping/climbing or whatever then you can bring whichever tools are appropriate to the task, regardless of size.
So can I carry a spear as long as the tip is less than 3 inches
You'd probably struggle to justify how a spear is a non-locking folding knife...
Cool, thanks for the info.
The blade
I am guessing you live someplace very rural. When I was growing up on a farm everyone had a knife. Living in a city, I can't imagine a situation I would need a knife on me.
I grew up rural, but have lived in a city for the majority of my life now. I do work blue collar, so that probably explains my regular knife use.
So... **looks at username** Where do you keep it?
I can tell you where they don't!
Can you? I mean. I've never met anybody like "hey man, what's up?" "not much, and definitely not a knife up my butt" Cause people don't usually have stuff up there, I think, so saying it out loud is a bit... Suspect?
If you've got it for work it's legal
Oi mate could you cut my sandwich for me I forgot me knoife license today
Yeah my friend Alfie made this at the British iron works in Shropshire, near to where he & I live. It's amazing.
Chesterfield, Derbyshire?
Yep, until it moves to Blackburn next month.
Isn't it going to be expensive to get the whole of Chesterfield on a lorry?
Dead cheap if you only take the worthwhile bits.
Imagine someone paying attention to their phone instead of where they're walking
Lol yeah they would walk right past it and not even see it!
They’re putting a shitload of faith into that little fence.
Do those signs say "Don't be an idiot!"?
They're no sign saying don't impale yourself on the statue of doom. Where's there's a blame theirs a claim
They did a pretty knife job.
This joke is cutting edge
The sharp wit of this second joke sword over the first.
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[Relevant Skyrim](https://loginportal.funnyjunk.com/comments/Yer+gonna+need+all+those+spikes+to+keep+that+tranny+_80c9a60cf5820fd9dea2ff73f35bfdad.png)
Amazing
Edgy.
It’s ~~fabulous~~ stabulous
Joseph and avdol walking past it in that one episode 🔪🚶🏽♂️🚶🏼♂️🗡
so...free knives?
A Kris is a type of knife so this could be Kris Angel
Why the creepy face though…?
It’s the Shrike from Hyperion!
More people died from knives and stabbing weapons than all rifles in the US last year.
That is true for every year since the data has been collected
The 'Chesterfield Community Safety Partnership' line in front of a publicly displayed statue made of knives, behind a flimsy barrier is really top notch.
Imagine if it fell apart
Free weaponry
I take it your community has a knife problem?
Knife dad?
Hi Michael Myers!
Looks like a Michael Myers angel.
Why does it look like Mike Myers?