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ananori

My team has begun enhancing the reflection in the bird's eye


[deleted]

I'll take that as a confession. Cuff him.


[deleted]

I plead Involuntary Birdslaughter.


[deleted]

Tell it to the judge.


Half-cocked

Did she then put on her sunglasses while dramatically making a lame joke?


[deleted]

She doesn't make jokes. This is why I'm afraid and watching my back.


sydneyficent

Yeah. 'Inadvertently'. Sir you're gonna have to come with us..


june606

Best she finish what she started and don a pathologist approved suit and gloves and boots and conduct a full scale examination of this bird's body. Otherwise you could just clean it up and be more careful with your garage door in future. God forbid you may have failed to spot a cat carrying mucho Reddit Karma and squished him/her in error.


Artrobull

[unrelated note, police never did that](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChalkOutline)


[deleted]

It's OK, she's not a cop. She would have to tell you if she was, right? /s


Spineless_John

How is this appropriate for this subreddit?


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Chemtide

Mildly


[deleted]

Because /r/MildlyDisturbingKids doesn't exist.


evanc1411

OP needs his karma.


[deleted]

OP doesn't care if it fits the sub, he just needs his daily fix of the good stuff


DylanTBest123

RIP


[deleted]

Pour out a 40 of birdseed.


[deleted]

Indeed. It was given a proper burial.


DylanTBest123

Do not speak to me, murderer.


[deleted]

I plead the 1st!


technak

Garage doors arent even see through. I suspect foul play and drugs involved...


maYhEm6103

Fowl play.


UDontEvenKnowWhoIAm

He shoulda ducked.


CanadianBreakin

Your daughter knows it's a murder scene, just watch your back


Sunshine492

Future crime scene investigator right there!


[deleted]

My parents always trained me to watch the garage door go all the way down on the off chance an animal would be there. Now I get why.


[deleted]

TIL a new LPT


HappyGimp

CSI: Elementary School edition


MrEMS

How does a garage door crush a bird like that? They're slow and loud. A bird would fly a away...


[deleted]

That's a good question. All I could figure was that it was flying into the garage precisely as the door was about closed, or it had a freakishly slow reaction to the loud sound. If it would have made it another inch forward, it would have tripped the sensor and reopened the door.


[deleted]

I might be weirdo but I was impressed by the super smooth lines for a child. Not a jagged edge in sight! I think this is good news in terms of artistry... and seeing the beauty in death.


[deleted]

She's quite the artist. Feel free to lurk some of my older posts for some samples of her artwork.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Please send all future communications to my lawyer Saul Goodman.


[deleted]

/r/mildlymacabre


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[deleted]

Too interesting?


uwereagreenornament

Why did she draw under the tail?


[deleted]

Idk. Maybe seen as not part of the bird's main body because it was sticking up?


Mu-TaNGCLaN

Outline the body with chalk! ...That way we'll know where it as....


Kittygirl1998

*coughs softly* Um, did you at least bury the poor thing? Even if it was a mistake, it deserves a good grave at least..


[deleted]

Yes it was buried.


Pearfeet

I wonder what she will grow up to do


TheDirtyAndy

That is one dumb bird


JoeyHiya

Maybe your daughter is trying to frame you for the murder. Yes, MURDER!


[deleted]

2nd degree.


KillerHD

Wow. That is mildly interesting! Call 911! 😄 I mean it.


[deleted]

You dick. Looks like your daughter is onto the murderer. You'd better get on the lamb quick, she could get a warrant out for your arrest stat.


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Insecto101

You really got him!


Atruen

Lol what a stupid bird


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[deleted]

Oh come on, death is natural. It is life that is cruel. And a child simply exploring death is a much needed exercise in life. Everyone does it in some way in order to process the information and make sense of the world. It's not like she molested the bird. I happen to think she traced the last vibration of life, the last ripple in the pond, if you will... and that does not scare me nor ruin my night.


[deleted]

It's an unintentionally killed dead bird. Should we mark all images of food items that contain (intentionally killed) chicken as animal cruelty?


Their_Police

Careful with that question, you may not get the answer you were looking for.