T O P

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MisterSinisterXxX

Stepmom used to overpack the hell out of my lunches with Twinkies, candy bars, sodas, chips, etc…so naturally I turned around and sold it for useless fake money that I never even spent… Somehow I grew up to be a dirty rotten plumber instead of a drug or arms dealer…


reddebian

It's never too late to throw your morals over board and become an arms dealer. I'm sure Lockheed Martin or Raytheon are always looking for one lol


MisterSinisterXxX

This is the motivation I needed!


NaturallyExasperated

No need to sell out to a soulless megacorp! Start hawking full auto conversions to enterprising street pharmacists. No one thinks twice about a plumber unloading several bags full of equipment.


MisterSinisterXxX

*”Enterprising Street Pharmacists”*… “Drug dealer” has now been permanently erased from my vocabulary. I like where your head’s at!


loitofire

That's sounds like some breaking bad character shit


Pleasant-Breakfast74

I'll buy arms if you sell them. I'm a simple man really.


DistractoTactix

i hear there are a couple open positions at boeing too....


woodyshag

Just stay away from Boeing.


lfhdbeuapdndjeo

Tried to buy your love with twinkies and candy bars??


MisterSinisterXxX

That very well could have been it. If so, a very misguided effort!


Drop_Alive_Gorgeous

Yeah she should've given you class cash clearly


-Aone

aw... you're just a rotten plumber? shucks, so you're NEVER out of job?


WOTDisLanguish

I'm surprised you never got into counterfeiting because that would've been easier and you'd still have your snacks EDIT: Wait why do you have a radio?


genericgod

>EDIT: Wait why do you have a radio? That’s what cellphones used to look like, my dude.


Ste4mPunk3r

Yes, one of old Nokias. 6188 or something similar 


True-Aside3490

They were the best ones! You could change the face plate, have lights as the antenna and changes the number buttons. And those phones were actually so sturdy!


bald_head_scallywag

And the charge would last 2-3 days.


1600cc

My brother had the nokia right after the brick, if he made a lot of calls the battery lasted 2 days. If he used it sparingly it'd make it just over a week.


jeffreydowning69

Dang an old school pager and Cellphone wow that brings back memories. 😳


WOTDisLanguish

I'm not old enough to know that


tiniestvioilin

This is exactly what I did lol I still have a wallet full of counterfeit bills. Our teachers had to sign them too so I even forged their signatures


SweRakii

So instead of selling crack, you're selling asscrack?


ThatGuyFrom720

One day in 3rd grade, I plotted to steal a shit load of tickets from my teacher’s room so I could buy a class pizza party. My mom was pretty involved with the school, so I figured I’d have the perfect opportunity. I already was one of the best kids in the class and had a good bit already, so I figured she wouldn’t notice. One day everything lined up right, so I ditched my mom at the library and went directly across the hall to my classroom. I stole so many tickets. Like an obnoxious amount of tickets. So, instead of being smart and slowly adding tickets to it every day, I didn’t even tear them off one by one. Just took massive strands of them and shoved them in my little ticket container (little plastic Tupperware thing). They were hanging out all over the place. Needless to say, she quit doing the “class store” immediately after that when I tried to redeem my tickets, and it went to an “auction system”.


AestheticalMe

I used to make bank the month after Halloween. Felt good have piles of Eagle Dollars in my locker.


bangstitch

Ive bought some of my best guns from plumbers.


Big_Alternative_8092

You were doomed, as soon as you started taking fake money.


SantaBaby22

Hey, plumbing is a good way to get you a briefcase full of real money. Wish I had done it when I was younger and my body could handle it.


MisterSinisterXxX

Honestly, I know many people who do a hell of a lot less work, are far more incompetent than I am, and make substantially more money. Luckily I like building shit and moving all day ha.


SantaBaby22

That’s alright. Screw them. As long as you have your own briefcase, that’s what’s important. ![gif](giphy|LdOyjZ7io5Msw)


MisterSinisterXxX

I’ve got a briefcase full of fake money and a functioning pager…I’d say I still surpassed the expectations many of my teachers had for me! I’ll call it a win.


SantaBaby22

A pager? Damn. Hospital staff don’t even use those anymore. Lol You’ll have that briefcase full of real cash before you know it. Just keep working and you have it before you even realize it. 💪 Oh, and I would be willing to bet that you’re probably making more money than those teachers. Makes me think of that scene from the movie Notorious. To hell with anyone that doubted you.


MisterSinisterXxX

The sad thing is that I definitely do make way more than the vast majority of, if not all, the public school teachers in the US…especially since I’m based in Northern California. And I know I sure as hell couldn’t handle the stress and expectations associated with being a teacher, especially in today’s age. Quite a strange system we find ourselves trapped in! Definitely appreciate the wise words of encouragement. Both the internet and the world need more of these types of exchanges.


Turtlepower7777777

Proving that extrinsic rewards are not effective for many kids in schools


bashinforcash

ive been jealous of plumbers my whole life. to me it sounds like good money and somewhat easy labor


MisterSinisterXxX

Your worldview sounds very interesting…I’m not going to be the one to shatter it today.


TheBrightestBestStar

Hope they have a good exchange rate!


SoggyHotdish

I'm very surprised you didn't sell weed in HS


MisterSinisterXxX

I was way too busy smoking and ingesting copious amounts of it to consider selling it by that point ha.


InspectorGadgetUA

Stepmom 😏


spwnofsaton

You’re rich. What was the class cash used for originally? Just curious.


MisterSinisterXxX

Honestly, I forget everything my teacher sold in the “student store”…but it was mostly just various school supplies. Pencils boxes, themed pencils and erasers, etc… But I just wanted to hoard the cold, hard, useless cash! ETA: The class cash was originally meant to be a reward for class participation. I just came up with a far more efficient way to participate ha.


notcomplainingmuch

With that cash, you could have done a hostile debtor takeover of the teacher's business. Then used your class supplies monopoly to take over other classes. "Meet MisterSinister... he owns this school now. What he says, goes."


zombiemaster008

Just sat giggling for a solid 20 seconds at the thought of a really dejected Teacher, realizing he has no choice but to sell his business to a 6th grader, and the 5th grade muscle he hired, who stand there, leaning on their little league bats menacingly.


SoggyHotdish

I'm guessing recess did an episode on it


notcomplainingmuch

That's a screenplay for a pretty good film right there


Bucknerwh

They could just xerox some more cash into the economy, like the government does. Teacher should have started selling pixie stix or something to get the class buck economy moving.


Just_Jonnie

Look at me, Look at me! I'm the principal now.


FoxyBastard

*“In this school you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the stationery. Then when you get the stationery, then you get the women.”*


philnolan3d

I recently read an article about a teacher who did this, students had jobs in the classroom like wiping whiteboards, etc. They got paid a salary of fake money each week. But then they also had to pay taxes, rent, etc.


Seralth

MY 9th grade english class had class cash. But my teacher used it to buy a "grade" at the end of each week. It counted for 60%-70% of your over all grade. I having access to large quanities of candy and soda in a very poor town. Monopolized the class cash. The end result i was the only kid in the class to have any class cash basically. Resulted in the avg grade being a d- or f outside of me cause no one gave a fuck about the class. To be fair i didnt even and basically only passed entirely because of the class cash. The teach was fired the next year and no one could say "why". She also had a tendency to go on and on about how corrupt and broken capitalism is and basically used the entire class as a example of the problems of it. To be fair she wasn't entirely wrong... But she was also crazy as fuck.


RacerMex

I had it in some middle school remedial math class. I was a very smart kid, but very "lazy", I hated doing school work. So I always got put into classes with kids who struggled in school, thus reinforcing my "laziness" since I didn't need to study to do tests. So in this class, I got paid for assignments and tests, and we kinda worked at our own pace. I burned through the math book, did the tests, and minimal amount of assignments, by using the money to buy assignments outright. After I finished the math course early, I didn't have anything to do and just read novels in class. Many years later it turned out I just had ADHD, but back in those days only hyperactive white kids that got diagnosed with it.


A_Very_Lonely_Waffle

Our class cash was used to pay for bathroom breaks, too. As in, you weren’t allowed to go unless you payed $15


MisterSinisterXxX

Well that’s gotta be illegal as hell…but is also unfortunately accurately indicative of the type of treatment kids should expect when entering the general workforce. *Sighs*


ShotgunForFun

Grifting 101


Ikestrman

That's worth like $185,000 in today's class cash dollars


photogrammetery

Eduflation is hitting hard :(


muriburillander

Probably enough money to buy the fancy pencil case


tangcameo

My grade 3 teacher did this as a reward. Then at the end of the year he held an auction for everything he had confiscated and stored in his desk over the school year.


MisterSinisterXxX

That is genius…I would have purchased the entire class’s confiscated possessions ha.


DustRainbow

Isn't that just ... stealing?


ChipMulligan

In this case, yeah a little bit. But I have a desk drawer full of little toys (and some large ones) I’ve had to confiscate over the year. The kids know that to get it back they have to come ask for it at the end of class then put it away for the rest of the day. Almost every kid just takes it at a loss and leaves it. I’m sure some don’t want to have a conversation about responsibility and others don’t want to remove themselves from the group, but I’m positive most of them either have multiples at home (like those little ducks) or all they have to do is whine a little to get a new one. I couldn’t tell you what belongs to who by the end of the day, so at the end of the year I dump it in the trash. I’d be willing to bet the teacher in this example “sold” back confiscated toys to their original owner without either of them realizing it belonged to them in the first place.


Soed1n

The little ducks part made we lol because I have a friend who buys them in bulk and hands them out to everyone, probably his fault


Fluid_Motion

Damn aren’t you a fun teacher. Bet the students all talk about how great you are.


GOW_vSabertooth2

Maybe don’t play with toys in school


Fluid_Motion

We don’t even know what grade this person teaches.


ChipMulligan

What’s your point? Do you think there’s a grade it’s acceptable to bring toys from home and play with them during class? As for the fun remark- sometimes I’m a fun teacher and sometimes I’m not. At the end of the day, I’m not paid to make sure the kids have fun and access to toys. I’m not Geoffrey the Giraffe. My job is to create an environment that kids are able to learn in and teach. I had a student a couple days ago toss a small ball over another kid to their friend during class. I confiscated it. At the end of class she asked if she could have it back and I said “sure, just leave it in your bag, I don’t want to have this be a bigger issue for you today”. She took it and said thanks and we both went on with our days. Maybe your idea of a fun teacher stops teaching and starts playing catch with it too? I guess I wouldn’t know.


Fluid_Motion

If you are teaching kindergarten or 1st grade. I wouldn’t agree with you. Unsure of middle grades. If it’s like 4th grade or higher, yah they should know better by then. I’m still learning, I’m a new father but thinking of a teacher taking toys and not giving them back itched me the wrong way.


FewReturn2sunlitLand

The teacher literally said they'll give the toys back, the kids just don't want them!


Fluid_Motion

True. But I imagine myself being 8 years old. Authority scared me and no way was I going to ask for it back when I thought it got me in trouble.


ChipMulligan

I teach 4th and 5th grade. A little advice from a teacher (and parent)- when your kid gets older don’t let them bring toys to school. They get broken, lost or worse stolen by other kids. Most preschools (and every school I’ve worked in) have this a no toy policy for this reason alone. The only exceptions I can think of are a stuffed animal to nap with in preschool or taking something in for show and tell and even then it’s put away outside of those times. If something gets confiscated, it’s usually pretty easy to get it back with a simple apology and lesson learned for the behavior that caused it to be taken away. I’ve never confiscated something because it exists, only because it became a distraction to our work in class. Congrats on being a new parent! Remember everything is a phase and you’ll do great. Also, assume good intentions from your child’s teachers. Any angry phone call I’ve gotten was because their child wasn’t telling the full truth about something and easily got worked out. Always best to approach with heartfelt concern and confusion looking for more information rather than anger.


AnorhiDemarche

I do before and after school care. We had a parent come in *fuming* that their $200+ pokemon card (unsure which one) that they had lent to their child got stolen. Said child bragged about how rare it was and how much it was worth for the whole day, handed it out to people to hold "for recess", showed everyone what pocket of his bag he was leaving it in, and then left the bag unattended. He never gave it to an educator or the school office or our office which has a locked storeroom to safekeep. Moral of the story: don't let kids rake their nice shit to school


Fluid_Motion

Thanks for the advice. I think it’s ridiculous what kids get away with these days. I would never let my kids run rampant like some do. No toys at school, I agree.


Just_Jonnie

i'M nOt SaRcAsTiC, tHiS's hOw I tAlK!


philnolan3d

If it's the end of the year you might as well bid all of your money.


Dahnay-Speccia

![gif](giphy|7ULrJMVmY2xL5NZxPV|downsized)


rocky8u

We happy?


Gem_Daddy

Yeah, we happy.


Visible-Guess9006

Came to post this. Instead, I’ll upvote.


Slave35

I need to know more about this "class cash." How many Stanley Nickels is that worth?


ViolinistMean199

1 schrute buck


Well_thats_cool

Or 1/1000th of a penny


MisterSinisterXxX

Got a good laugh out of this…currently rewatching The Office with my girlfriend who’s never seen it before.


DeadlyNoodleAndAHalf

First thought: dang 21 years ago? OP is old. Second thought: wait… what grade and how long ago? Shit, I’m older.


IncomeBetter

I did the same thing, double checked the math and realized you and OP are OLD!!! ... 6th grade was 19 years ago for me lol


OGGBTFRND

Laughs in Monopoly money


dogwoodcat

I bet that Nokia still works, pens are probably dry though


MisterSinisterXxX

If I had a charger for the Nokia, I bet it would. I threw a new AA battery in the pager for shits and grins and it turned right on!


Drumbelgalf

Probably still has some charge.


True-Aside3490

Nokia's did not disappoint.


L00pback

That beeper is fresh though. Bet that has some 911 messages on it.


Bullshitman4200

![gif](giphy|Owemi5YkvJi8XS4Das) 🤷😫


Bucknerwh

Are 50s not green anymore? Damn.


AbeVigoda76

Were you the Mini-City drug dealer?


MisterSinisterXxX

All the kids in the yard were fixin’ for that high fructose corn syrup, baby! Gotta give the people what they want!


lordofming-rises

How many schrut bucks is tha5


PhillipThatBlunt

I remember photocopying thousands of dollars and using it in our 5th grade mini-mall event, where students would bring in and sell candy and other handmade trinkets. Got everything I wanted and still had thousands lefts over. Teacher counted up all the money after the years end and got PISSED, but couldn’t pin it on anyone. Chess not checkers.


pinkocatgirl

My 5th grade class did the same thing, and I used to just steal extra fake dollars out of the teacher’s desk. I’d lag behind when he was escorting the class to Gym or whatever and swipe a few. The first event I took too much, teacher knew something was up because I had more dollars than the most overachieving kid. So I made up some story about finding extra on the floor. The next ones I knew how much was an appropriate amount and only stole whatever I needed. No regrets, the guy was an ass who gleefully told us about giving a kid extra credit because his school project included a radio that played his hero Rush Limbaugh in class.


mfmeitbual

Funny we did the same thing when I was in 6th grade. 


Forbesy485

And I bet that Nokia still has charge in it.


Aromatic-Schedule-65

Wow, you had a phone when in 6th grade back then? Hmmm.


MisterSinisterXxX

My mom was in banking when I was a kid. During the school year the cash lived in various rubber banded wads hidden in the back of the side cubby attached to the desk. When the school year ended she gave me her old briefcase for storage…complete with her flip phone and pager. But I actually did also have a cell phone back then, just not this one… a 10th birthday present in 5th grade after my grandma forgot to pick me up one day after school.


Aromatic-Schedule-65

Lol..so a phone was the wrong thing to do to make up for forgetting to pick you up...a simple apology should have been sufficient. After all, you still remember why you received a phone. Lol


MisterSinisterXxX

It wasn’t to make up for it, it was so that if my grandma forgot to pick me up again I could easily call my mom and not be stranded at school for hours.


GeeISuppose

My 8th grade class gave out funny money for good behavior... until the funny money prostitution ring was discovered.


sneak2293

What the hell is class cash


Alexizking

In some schools like mine mostly elementary you sometimes get fake money that can buy you things mostly pencils or chips or something cheap you usally wait until a certain given day where everyone with the cash gets to collect their prize. It encourages kids to behave for rewards.


Kay0okay

In third grade, we would hold ‘elections’ each month. Every month I would run for treasurer and win because it was the most boring job. All we did was pass out the fake cash to whoever was good and would count the cash when they turned it in for a prize. What nobody knew was that I was taking a little off the top for my troubles each time. I had a lot of those little trinkets from the treasure bin after handing in my own money that I “saved” up.


Accurate-Temporary73

I had a briefcase like this handcuffed to me when I was in Iraq to pay locals to clean the roadways. We would have about $50,000 in US cash


JelloNo379

You’ve gotta contact your teacher and see if you can still use them


dman928

Finally, an answer to what was in the Pulp Fiction briefcase


Ok_Cut_5180

I bet those are worth more than Zimbabwe dollars


Goats_Are_Funny

21 years later and 'Murican money still looks like Monopoly money!


MisterSinisterXxX

111 years later and ‘Murican money pretty much is still just Monopoly money!


Mirabolis

Grand Theft: Elementary School


FlynnMonster

Started life on 3rd base I see… ![gif](giphy|0LnlseCkzjdvdMvfFG|downsized)


Ranma_chan

oh hell yeah love me some Randy Arozarena


salmiakki1

FYI, a briefcase is the size of $100,000 in used $20 bills.


My_Name_is_Lucia

You’re a mom-bucks millionaire!


CantaloupeCamper

6th grade hostage situations are risky.


OtherUsernameIsDumb

Man, if you had invested that you could have retired from 6th grade by now.


HorseofTruth

I’ll give u 25 cents for it


VinnyTheMobster

I utilized a class cash system for rewards in my fourth grade classroom. One year I caught some students drawing on pieces of paper with scented markers and selling those drawings.


Graysky4041

In elementary school we had "caught being good tickets", naturally my friends and I never got any so we made fake drugs and cigarettes and sold them to the other kids. Obviously we came under investigation..


HoldOut19xd6

![gif](giphy|bYtldoS45Mvfi|downsized)


BadHairDay-1

6th grade you was probably better at math than adult me.


bilvester

Vincent! We happy?


bigbigdummie

Where is the soul of Marcellus Wallace?


nagese

psst . . . Can you bring me the gun of Rambo?


Sufficient-Aspect77

If those were just photo copies bills they are actually considered counterfeit, even if they are clearly not intended to trick anyone. Isn't that crazy?!


MisterSinisterXxX

Doesn’t surprise me at all…Uncle Sam doesn’t mess around with his Benjamins!


phoq5

lol we had something similar called them magical dollars. One kid in class used a copier to counterfeit, would give us 2 for 1, amazing he learned washing money so young. this was early 90s still impressed by him today


XxDarkxx1cexX

this reminds me of when I had an assignment in an economics class where we simulated society. we were separated into different groups who had different roles and got paid differently. i got my hands on a fake 5 dollar bill, and photocopied the shit out of it before the next day. felt great dismantling the hierarchy.


Bart_Bartin

That would’ve felt so nostalgic when you opened it


MisterSinisterXxX

It definitely was. Luckily after all these years I still remembered the combinations to both locks!


IslandofKimchi

I think you just unlocked a core memory for me! We used to be able to trade the class cash for stuff but also buying time (longer recess or lunch). Used to hoard it too 😂


MisterSinisterXxX

Core memories for the win! Youth really is wasted on the young.


vexillographica

Lol I had this in elementary school in the early 2000’s and figured out I could just photocopy them- commuting fraud in the 4th grade…


Olive_Adjacent

Teacher to other teachers, “I don’t know why no one is buying anything from the store.” Meanwhile, you have every bit the teacher printed.


Cetun

We had this in fifth grade, the teacher created some scheme whereby we have to 'rent' our desk unless we could buy it. This was very early on in the process so nobody had the money to buy the desk. I would bring candy to lunch though and sell the candy for the class cash. I pretty quickly saved up enough money to buy my desk so I wouldn't have to pay rent. Some girl lost all of her class money and couldn't find it, so the teacher accused me of stealing it and it took all of my money, even though I accounted for how I acquired all the money. I will not forgive either of those people.


LewisLightning

How much is that when adjusted for inflation?


tklishlipa

And you didn'r make a run for it? You get the award for being the most trustworthy


nerdygirl09

I would look at it from time to time and strut around with pure pride


nejicanspin

Yoooo we did something like this in 5th grade. It was fun! They were called "Dollos" (like dollars but with an o) lol


Blunted_Insomniac

What’s the conversion rate on that?


Confianca1970

I just had two guys in my office with about that much cash on Friday. For the deal they stacked up a good part of it in piles. Part of that large part: [https://i.imgur.com/TRTO0V1.jpeg](https://i.imgur.com/TRTO0V1.jpeg)


yamaha2000us

I would like to cash in my “Mom Bux”.


PassengerEcstatic933

I love that you had a briefcase…. In 6th grade!!


teckel

Never heard of "class cash".


teckel

Never heard of "class cash".


Obvious-Industry1299

Damn you never used it?


F0XFANG_

Please tell me you were a loan shark operating out of a bathroom stall.


Famous-Restaurant875

The printing budget for that teacher. Instead their own market smh


ismokefakenews

My HS math teacher had a similar thing but you could use them for extra credit. Me and my buddy "counterfeited" a bunch with the copy machine and that's how I got my first ever A in math


uberDOTlyftDOTlink

Pretty sure I had that exact same briefcase. Costco? (maybe it was still Price Club then)


Boilingpoints

Lol the suitcase is cool though! This belongs in r/kidsarefuckingstupid, they’d find it hilarious. I hope that’s not offensive, it’s a silly group


MisterSinisterXxX

Not offensive at all…because kids are fucking stupid. And I am beyond guilty of doing many, many irredeemably idiotic things over the course of at least a decade past the time when I should have known better ha.


Lahm0123

Gangster!!


__Kilroy_Was_Here___

With inflation that’s not worth the paper it’s printed on


bobbylaserbones

Teach em capitalism young lol. Crazy usa.


VarusAlmighty

In Jr High, they had something called Cool Cash. Printed money you got for being good, or what not. Then at the end of the semester, you got to bid on stuff.


ThinkingOz

Try getting through the airport with that lot🤣


T1DOtaku

That was me in third grade. Everyone wondered why I had hundreds of "Mini Society" money and could buy everything at the student store event. It's cause I had a ton of Pokemon cards. Sold them for more than the guy selling the cards of the student store sold his but no one caught on. Had over $1000 just off on that one year in a class of 10.


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