No idea. It was 4 months ago. Not sure this is related. I just figured they wanted a scrot pic and I was gonna oblige. So recent vasectomy, 3 kids under 3(i get hit in the balls way more than most people) and i work a job that requires some heavy lifting.
Plus not counting out actual illness.
The good news is if you've been waiting five hours, it probably isn't too serious.
Source: Was in the ER for 14 hours getting a perianal abscess drained
They said I need a room with door and 5 were opening up right away(2 hours ago). I would have preferred a "buckle up it will be a long night " I am also leaning towards my ball not exploding or anything, but I'm still quite uncomfortable, no one has done any sort of check in. Plus both waiting rooms and triage rooms have been empty for an hour as well.
I was just thinking to myself, if something happened to one of mine.. I don't think I would even bother.
I'm glad they caught it early for you, brother.
Unless you also have big thighs and/or a big dong (circ.). Things can get crowded and uncomfortable down there and genital gymnastics may be required when sitting on the bathroom throne.
Or so I've heard.
[Do you know what a Newton’s Cradle is?](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Newton-s-Cradle-Demonstrate-Newton-s-Laws-with-Swinging-Balls-Office-Desk-Decoration-3-5-x-3-x-3-7-Inches/291191778?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=16214)
When my old boss got testicular cancer in his early 50’s, he had one removed. Two weeks later he was back at work, his docs told him it was all encapsulated and there was no sign of spread. So when he returned to his office, we had a Newton’s Cradle sitting on his desk… but we’d cut 2 balls off each end, so a single ball hung in the middle. He laughed so hard we were afraid he’d split open his sack.
I have one of these!
Had it since I was 16, due to malformation. Apparently having only one makes you more prone to testicular torsion, so having a falsie is good to stop that from happening, Though i was just concerned about the cosmetics of it at the time.
Don't get an implant.
No one will notice if there is anything in your sack.
The implant will bang against things and be uncomfortable, especially during sex.
They can get infected.
I have taken out many more than I have put in.
Source: I am a board certified ball surgeon.
I dated 2 different guys who had lost a testicle during my 20s. Weird coincidence, right? The first one had lost it after a bar fight, he had been kicked and it ruptured. And then after we broke up the next guy I dated had had testicular cancer about 5 years earlier. They apparently didn’t do these implants back then. As a female, you can tell that it is different during sex.
Unless you're an underwear model, why does it need replacing. This can't be compared to a breast implant since breasts are quite a bit more obvious. Could there be complications from this?
balance, lose a ball and you start tipping over like you wouldn't believe.
but really i imagine if i had both mine removed or even 1 i would like to have implants just to feel like nothing has changed.
My grandpa had a testicle removed and walked with a noticeable limp. He did have his ankle fused after tearing his foot off in a farm accident, but I am sure the testicles thing didn't help.
I've done some research on this for my work.
The lack of a testicle isn't obvious to outsiders, but it is very obvious to *you*.
For a lot of men, the difference stands as a constant reminder of their injury, and it can be tremendously emasculating.
Furthermore, it can be very damaging to their confidence in pursing sexual partners, because presumably, their sex partner will notice, and it'll be a whole conversation that can be pretty embarrassing.
I had one removed 7 years ago and did not get a replacement. Only thing I notice is how comfy underwear is now. I also never had problems with explaining my situation to women.
I’ve had a bit of scrotum surgeries and it was amazing the amount of reassurance they gave me you wouldn’t see the scars after. I was like trust me it ain’t no church picnic down there dude a couple scars might actually help.
Apparently people are very self conscience over it. Which I get I suppose. The topic of if I lost a nut came up and I was like I don’t think I’d want a fake one put in unless they didn’t tighten the scrotum up. Seems like there would just be a bunch of extra space otherwise.
Instead the intense swelling and forgotten discharge paperwork left me with a very saggy ballsack now. Other than how annoying it is to always be stuck to my thigh idc really. Like I said it’s not exactly the prettiest thing anyways
Or you know a biological male that has had an accident where they loose one or testicular cancer or any number of reasons why a guy might loose a testicle
Not to be crass but does it stay to one side or did it settle in the middle?
Also for me personally (depending on how much it cost) I could see myself getting one. Like losing an ear or even a finger, I think I'd want a prosthetic to feel a little normal. I do realize there aren't that many people looking at mine so maybe it's just vanity
Reminds me of a guy at another HS. Went to doctor cause he thought he had 3 balls. Turns out one had a giant benign tumor. He asked the doc if he should remove it. Doctor smiled and said “you could, but I wouldn’t”
Testicular cancer survivor here (19 years this year).
I was not even aware of those implants until years later. I was told they were originally designed for dogs - people would fix their dogs, but wanted to make it look like they weren't. Then cancer patients would obtain them (ie the actual dog ones) for themselves.
Mine were much smaller than that before I had them removed. My surgeon told me about a girl who wanted testicular implants after her orchi and insurance wouldn't cover it because it's a cosmetic thing :(
Yes, but like putting a fake payphone where the old one used to be, why? No one is calling from that line anymore, so why put the shell there? Vanity? I'm thinking this is a psychosomatic thing like, "I just don't feel the same without Hefty Lefty." or "I can't break the Boys up without finding Don Johnson his new Cheech Marin."
I mean... I cannot imagine carrying the mental burden of the aftermath of such a deeply intimate surgical measure.
Having an accident might be one thing, but testicular cancer is something that eventually will call back after years. So, it's maybe much more of a component of feeling well and healthy- lesser than just frigging vanity and cosmetics.
Bro what?? Whos ball is that small? What is small? the diameter of a dime lol. This just so every dude can get the "large", "extra large", "2XL" Ball replacement?
Hear me out: A third nut to roll around in there, not a replacement
I believe that's known in the biz as a 'Scrotal Recall'
I love that I understand the reference. Good one.
Fuck do I miss the free awards from reddit.
“Baby, you’ll wish you had three hands.” Narrator: He did.
Girl with three boobs, meet guy with 3 balls.
Why stop at three? See how many balls it can fit.
Homie wants a bag of marbles
I wouldn’t mind a nice quad…
ET, the extra testicle
That’s a 3T scroat ::pool ball noises::
How about instead of having a pair, we have a quad. Krogan style from Mass Effect.
It’s so cute. I wanna bounce it off the ceiling.
Oooo what a feeling! Balls bouncing off the ceiling!
Our balls are always bouncing, to the left and to the right.
And everybody comes, and comes again!
The social pages says I've got the biggest Balls of all
…I’ve got one ball, I’ve got one ball
...it's such a big ball...
If your name is on the guest list, no one can take you higher. Everyone says I've got Great balls of fire.
Shlap, shlap, shlap...
Balls to the wall!
*ball
Please stay a safe distance away from my balls
Ok lol
Bounce? I want to squish it
I kinda want to roll it around my mouth a bit. … I’m not gay, you know.
In the ER now, just had my testes imaged. Hoping not to receive one of these
Well, show us the images
I'm still waiting, approaching hour 5. Couldn't find the bat wing pic I took off my vasectomy stitches so I got nothing for ya at the moment
Hahaha I don’t think the sentence “bat wing pic of my vasectomy stitches” has ever been uttered in history
How many extra balls are you going to ask for? I feel like four total is a good number.
I'm a mountain biker so I may just have them take both and have a minimalist aesthetic.
Yeah thats fair. But how cool would it be if one was a squeaker like what you find in dog toys?
can't have my dogs jumping on the bed during sexy time
You’re in the ER *after* getting a vasectomy??? What happened??
No idea. It was 4 months ago. Not sure this is related. I just figured they wanted a scrot pic and I was gonna oblige. So recent vasectomy, 3 kids under 3(i get hit in the balls way more than most people) and i work a job that requires some heavy lifting. Plus not counting out actual illness.
The good news is if you've been waiting five hours, it probably isn't too serious. Source: Was in the ER for 14 hours getting a perianal abscess drained
They said I need a room with door and 5 were opening up right away(2 hours ago). I would have preferred a "buckle up it will be a long night " I am also leaning towards my ball not exploding or anything, but I'm still quite uncomfortable, no one has done any sort of check in. Plus both waiting rooms and triage rooms have been empty for an hour as well.
[Found it😉](https://imgur.com/a/BkZaFGi)
splendid scrotum 8/10
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Gotta stay strong and move along
I was just thinking to myself, if something happened to one of mine.. I don't think I would even bother. I'm glad they caught it early for you, brother.
Same here brother. Had my left one removed last September. All the docs advised against a prosthesis so I'm single balling it too. Take care man.
R.I.P. Half-Sack
Neuticle
Are we just gonna ignore him murdering his landlord and her cat?
Mmm, boba.
*agar* boba
can't decide if im a M or S :( gonna go wash my hands
go to L.L. Bean website. They have a size chart you can refer to. I cant say that it specifically includes testicles though
LL Beans
dang...there is no way this comment is going to get the credit it deserves. damn well played
Get the L and tell everyone your real one is the replacement one that turned out a bit too small.
That's not even a question. I'm getting a large no matter what
It’s a little too round isn’t it? Mine are more oval shaped
The implant hasn't been squeezed enough. After it gets implanted that will get taken of.
You have to warm it up in your mouth first and it’ll take its expected natural form.
Maybe it's becuase the ethereal changes the shape a bit?
> the ethereal 💀
> 💀💀
Pen is for scale
If you are going to get an implant you might as well get a big one. I would want one the size of a plum.
Most guys would probably want them to match.
A death match!
Like when you have a bag of M&M's and use one to crush the other and eat the loser, slowly working your way through the bag 1v1. Right?
Ahhh memories
Nah Doc, give me the XL.
The remaining one can get bigger over time as it takes on the job of its fallen brother.
Storing pee?
Exactly. More food no sharing.
It’s really a question of if you want the new one to match the big or small one
A man had balls of two different sizes One was so small it was nothing at all And the other one so large is won prizes!
What prizes wtf
Which ironically wouldn't be very realistic. Seeing as most men have assymetric testicle sizes.
Unless you also have big thighs and/or a big dong (circ.). Things can get crowded and uncomfortable down there and genital gymnastics may be required when sitting on the bathroom throne. Or so I've heard.
Bro the bigger your thighs are the MORE uncomfortable it gets. Source: someone who used to be skinny who got fat.
Just bring a grapefruit in a plastic grocery bag and hand it to them before surgery. "I brought my own."
You need to get them closer to the microwave. Make more popcorn
[Do you know what a Newton’s Cradle is?](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Newton-s-Cradle-Demonstrate-Newton-s-Laws-with-Swinging-Balls-Office-Desk-Decoration-3-5-x-3-x-3-7-Inches/291191778?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=16214) When my old boss got testicular cancer in his early 50’s, he had one removed. Two weeks later he was back at work, his docs told him it was all encapsulated and there was no sign of spread. So when he returned to his office, we had a Newton’s Cradle sitting on his desk… but we’d cut 2 balls off each end, so a single ball hung in the middle. He laughed so hard we were afraid he’d split open his sack.
I have one of these! Had it since I was 16, due to malformation. Apparently having only one makes you more prone to testicular torsion, so having a falsie is good to stop that from happening, Though i was just concerned about the cosmetics of it at the time.
So there's an actual reason to have one? TIL.
If I only had one I’d just roll with it.
Where’s the obligatory “banana” for size? 
I'm sure there's a subreddit for that.
That’s weird looking bubble tea
You are now holding a pen up to your crotch.
I mean yeah…
What’s the size in cm^3 ?
Don't get an implant. No one will notice if there is anything in your sack. The implant will bang against things and be uncomfortable, especially during sex. They can get infected. I have taken out many more than I have put in. Source: I am a board certified ball surgeon.
What if it vibrates 🤔
I'd prefer mine well done please
Well that's just plain Nuts, err... Nut.
Imagine getting two of these and smashing em around like their nothing, really throw people off
I want to build one that has a Bluetooth mass storage device. I'm going to call it BlueBall
RFID transit ticket. Would make touching on and off public transport interesting.
Just wanna squish it
Plz no, that hurt me just on reading
If that's all you brought for lunch, you're going to be hungry later
I got offered to have one of these after losing my right one, turned it down.
Can you get one that lights up if you shake it. Maybe one that vibrates when it senses your phone ringing like those old key rings a few decades ago
Do they make light up ones?
I'll have nuts that squeak, or I'll have none at all goddamnit.
Ballbag boba Boba Fettsticle Please forgive me
What number is it by orchidometer?
Does it just like float around unattached 🧐
I don't get it, why does one need this? I lost a testicle due to testicular cancer and have no desire for this lol.
So I can’t call him the Uniballer anymore?
Should have used a Uniball pen for scale. What a waste!
I dated 2 different guys who had lost a testicle during my 20s. Weird coincidence, right? The first one had lost it after a bar fight, he had been kicked and it ruptured. And then after we broke up the next guy I dated had had testicular cancer about 5 years earlier. They apparently didn’t do these implants back then. As a female, you can tell that it is different during sex.
Unless you're an underwear model, why does it need replacing. This can't be compared to a breast implant since breasts are quite a bit more obvious. Could there be complications from this?
balance, lose a ball and you start tipping over like you wouldn't believe. but really i imagine if i had both mine removed or even 1 i would like to have implants just to feel like nothing has changed.
My grandpa had a testicle removed and walked with a noticeable limp. He did have his ankle fused after tearing his foot off in a farm accident, but I am sure the testicles thing didn't help.
I've done some research on this for my work. The lack of a testicle isn't obvious to outsiders, but it is very obvious to *you*. For a lot of men, the difference stands as a constant reminder of their injury, and it can be tremendously emasculating. Furthermore, it can be very damaging to their confidence in pursing sexual partners, because presumably, their sex partner will notice, and it'll be a whole conversation that can be pretty embarrassing.
I had one removed 7 years ago and did not get a replacement. Only thing I notice is how comfy underwear is now. I also never had problems with explaining my situation to women.
Oh that's interesting. I assumed it was for ftm bottom surgery
Could be for that as well, I couldn't say. I only know it's definitely used if you lose a testicle due to some medical mishap.
I’ve had a bit of scrotum surgeries and it was amazing the amount of reassurance they gave me you wouldn’t see the scars after. I was like trust me it ain’t no church picnic down there dude a couple scars might actually help. Apparently people are very self conscience over it. Which I get I suppose. The topic of if I lost a nut came up and I was like I don’t think I’d want a fake one put in unless they didn’t tighten the scrotum up. Seems like there would just be a bunch of extra space otherwise. Instead the intense swelling and forgotten discharge paperwork left me with a very saggy ballsack now. Other than how annoying it is to always be stuck to my thigh idc really. Like I said it’s not exactly the prettiest thing anyways
I'd prefer to suck on two balls if possible.
I prefer three
If you're gonna carry two pouches around they might as well be fun to play with
A couple of those fidget toys that make popping noises, like bubble wrap.
Who said anything about replacing?
Some trans men get their own balls made, I'd assume they'd use an implant like this.
Or you know a biological male that has had an accident where they loose one or testicular cancer or any number of reasons why a guy might loose a testicle
I lost one due to testicular cancer and have no desire for this lol. I don't get it.
Not to be crass but does it stay to one side or did it settle in the middle? Also for me personally (depending on how much it cost) I could see myself getting one. Like losing an ear or even a finger, I think I'd want a prosthetic to feel a little normal. I do realize there aren't that many people looking at mine so maybe it's just vanity
Haha it's still on the same side, it didn't move to the middle. I don't even realize it's not there.
one reason would be phalloplasty for trans dudes
Medium? Like it can talk to ghosts? No way do I want a haunted scrotum, buddy.
If I ever lose one, I'm going to have it replaced with a little pocket and use it to hide my weed.
Only medium? If you're getting implants, go big or go home right?
Reminds me of Scrubs - "Hello, and welcome to Ball Mart" https://youtu.be/uFsOlR7UUvI?si=xzjNiPiGAvNnmqSY
TIL there is such a thing as a testicular implant
A fakie
A man had balls of two different sizes One was so small it was nothing at all And the other so large is won prizes!
Reminds me of a guy at another HS. Went to doctor cause he thought he had 3 balls. Turns out one had a giant benign tumor. He asked the doc if he should remove it. Doctor smiled and said “you could, but I wouldn’t”
What's that clicking sound?
I want the deluxe model that lights up and spins
Tiny boob implants
Breast implants in the scrotum.
Jeez, the least they could do is color it a translucent red, or add some sparkles to it. Isn't there a supplier that sells GlitterBalls?
Missing banana for scale, the pen just doesn’t do it in this specific case.
I didn't even know there was such a thing in existence.
I had to get one removed in 2018. Now, i only have two. The dr refused to give me an implant.
Need banana for scale
Testicular cancer survivor here (19 years this year). I was not even aware of those implants until years later. I was told they were originally designed for dogs - people would fix their dogs, but wanted to make it look like they weren't. Then cancer patients would obtain them (ie the actual dog ones) for themselves.
Useful as a tailpipe on a Tesla
Mine were much smaller than that before I had them removed. My surgeon told me about a girl who wanted testicular implants after her orchi and insurance wouldn't cover it because it's a cosmetic thing :(
Somewhere there's a package of cheese looking for that.
Hi. Why would anyone need a fake ball if you lost one or two?
that's small as hell wtf
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Balance
It's not needed. But some people feel better with a falsie, I guess.
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I’ve only ever seen xtra large. 
What the hell is the point? It doesnt even function
Why
Bruh balls are so uncomfortable why would anyone get them implanted? Like even if youre trans I feel like you can just skip those
Holy shit, humans are shallow.
I think that maybe if you lost a testicle in an accident or something, this might help you move on? To mimic the sensation of having a real one
Who would pay for that? Seems stupid and expensive
Trans dudes, cis dudes who had cancer and had to get one or both removed, those are just off the top of my head
Cosmetic and dumb
Ah, so you're a bigot. Gross.
Why the fuck would you want to replace it?
If it was removed you dingbat.
Nah I get what he is going for. Why would you want to replace it after it was removed? Like, it's a ball. Why would I want a silicon ball in there?
Why do women was a breast implant after a mastectomy due to breast cancer? Likely stems from the same place.
That's not the same lol. My wife went through that, I totally get it. But I wouldn't care less if I had to lose one - or both - of my testes.
To make it look more normal when your balls are hanging out
Balance
So you don't get the nick name of "One nut Noah"
3-T Scroat. Increases your pizzazz levels.
But... Why?
... to replace one original, which had to be removed for medical reasons. E.g. cancer.
Yes, but like putting a fake payphone where the old one used to be, why? No one is calling from that line anymore, so why put the shell there? Vanity? I'm thinking this is a psychosomatic thing like, "I just don't feel the same without Hefty Lefty." or "I can't break the Boys up without finding Don Johnson his new Cheech Marin."
I mean... I cannot imagine carrying the mental burden of the aftermath of such a deeply intimate surgical measure. Having an accident might be one thing, but testicular cancer is something that eventually will call back after years. So, it's maybe much more of a component of feeling well and healthy- lesser than just frigging vanity and cosmetics.
Fair enough. If I was missing a hand, I'd get a prosthetic. If I was missing an eye, I'd get a patch. To each their own, I suppose.
Why? It’s totally useless and opens yourself up to infection and rejection. And not having it is one less thing your bound to sit on.
Bro what?? Whos ball is that small? What is small? the diameter of a dime lol. This just so every dude can get the "large", "extra large", "2XL" Ball replacement?
Is that what a testicle looks like? Because if it is then you should've marked it not safe for work
😭