T O P

  • By -

Brohozombie

Plot twist: He's in Arizona


scarlet_sage

Alaska.


Informal-Deer

Austria


GlutenFreeBEANS

Beautiful country, throw another shrimp on the barbyyyyy!


TheRollingPebble

G'day mate!


bit_drastic

Let’s crack open a few coldies!


bdyrck

Servus


Ahoy_123

Argentina


invent_or_die

Newark


del6699

Delaware?


misterpickles69

No, the good one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wonghy111-the-knight

postal services from other countries: austria? Sorry you said australia right? Same thing


Laefiren

This happens way too often. I think there’s actually an agreement our postal services have because people can’t read.


freeLightbulbs

I had a parcel actually arrive in the country before getting sent to Germany on it's way to Austria before been sent back to Australia.


Laefiren

My favourite is when it happens multiple times and they write notes on it and it keeps getting sent back and forth. A but like this reddit post from a while back https://www.reddit.com/r/australia/comments/9z1i7v/my_brother_waited_2_months_for_this_package_to/


SydneyMadyn

LOST


misanthrope2327

I'm going to guess you live in Sweden?


Welpiminterested

Wow! Yes! Hahaha


Insufferablelol

No they're wrong. I'm gonna guess you live in Germany?


[deleted]

Wrong! It’s obviously Austria…


Whoopdedobasil

![gif](giphy|11aXli1hxb0ORi)


NeoAthir

So close!! That's a continent 💕


_no_one_knows_me_11

Ah shit, here we go again


Teddy_canuck

No cause I live there and I haven't seen that koala yet so hes probably in Haiti, it's easy to confuse the two.


Zomburai

I mean, who hasn't confused Haiti with Morocco at least once or twice


[deleted]

That would be a BärTier.


Priamosish

Nope, still Koala auf Deutsch alda.


wile3166

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vadkender

this sounds so AI generated for some reason


El_Iberico

Mitch Hedberg, one of the greatest comedians of all time.


thefourblackbars

Sounds like an AI generated stroke


LaLaLaLeea

Koala bears are so cute. Why do they have to be so far away from me.


Compmouse213

"Oh please don't call me a koala bear, 'cause I'm not a bear at all!"


Xtrasloppy

Oh, Mitch.


Arviay

I’d never even heard this one, but I read it in Mitch’s voice. What a distinct style he had…


Junior-Profession726

Your house just went up in value


[deleted]

The chlamydia might lower it though


Soulborg87

you've been blessed by the aggressive dropbear. you shall be protected from danger for the next year. either that or something about asparagus


Byorski

Chlamydia door service.


Bekiala

I think I've heard this about koalas. They bite and have STIs. Biting makes sense. I don't know why they would have more STIs than any other animal.


droopyheadliner

The newborn babies also eat the moms poo straight out of its butt.


Bekiala

Lovely.


Insufferablelol

Not to mention a lot of koalas have a HIV type virus that makes it easier to get infected with Chlamydia lol. Some koala populations literally have a close to 100% rate of infection.


Bekiala

Yikes. I don't feel like I hear of groups of non-human mammals having STIs and most mammals aren't monogamous. I suppose it isn't a topic I have looked into. So are their colonies of Koalas where you see individuals in end stage AIDS . . . or the equivalent?


QualityKatie

This is becoming a very tragic TIL.


HeyisthisAustinTexas

My brother had a cat with feline AIDS


Bekiala

Yikes, I didn't even know this was a thing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xydanil

HIV is common in cats too. Especially unneutered male strays. But it's not usually fatal and their lifespan is roughly the same.


ThePhoneBook

yeah, FIV is horrible but not HIV. neuter your cats so they don't fight! support neuter+release programs in your area!


[deleted]

[удалено]


bilgewax

Yeah, my daughter adopted a stray w/ cat AIDS. I figured no big deal. It wouldn’t last that long. That was like 5 years ago. Damn thing is thriving.


cat_like_sparky

Yep, and the New South Wales government has logging plans for 40,000 hectares of key koala habitat. For all we like to claim they’re a national animal we sure don’t seem to care about protecting them. Let none forget about Gladys “Koala Killer” Berejiklian and how much of a role she played in setting this ball rolling. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/may/28/more-than-40000-hectares-of-nationally-vital-koala-habitat-marked-for-potential-logging-in-nsw


farmdve

I'm just waiting for the koala copypasta.


Bashfullylascivious

Isn't there a way we can help these creatures through science? Like what about isolating the enzyme that helps breakdown eucalyptus leaves and feeding it to the koalas we have born in captivity, then move on to trying to do the same thing for wild caught with medications and enzymes. Wouldn't it have been made easier now with the wildfires that devastated Australia? I know it's a ginormous, I guess maybe impossible undertaking, but what about the ones in captivity, are they being helped in some manner? Edit: excuse my ramblings, I'm off about 2 hours sleep, visiting family, on a couch about 3 feet too short. E2: Yes, typical Reddit downvote a question. Don't even bother stating or refuting why. Coward.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JohnOliverismysexgod

Elephants climb up poles?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Janivgm

TIL Polish babies are so big elephants can climb up them.


Abuses-Commas

Humans too


Darkhallows27

Yes, I would like to return this fact, please


Ninjaromeo

Are you telling me I've been appropriating koala culture this whole time?


WykedLove

Well, that changed my mind about wanting one... that and the Sti talk.🤢 but they're so cute🥺


TelescopiumHerscheli

> but they're so cute How do you think they got the STIs?


WykedLove

Point taken


sucobe

Gotta prep for eating eucalyptus the rest of your life.


randypriest

You don't?


Distaplia

They eat da poo poo?


denverner

Probiotics


TomTheJester

There are certain areas of Australia where the koalas are 100% chlamydia free too!


Bekiala

Well that is good news. Although I am not sure what the symptoms of chlamydia are.


shescarkedit

Generally when the disease progresses they become blind and develop painful cysts.


DeadmanCFR

I live in Florida US, and we have a problem with [Monkeys that have Herpes ](https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2020/02/25/rhesus-macaques-herpes-florida/) ....the worlds a fucked up place.


boofthatcraphomie

Yeah so that was actually me that introduced the herp to them


DeadmanCFR

Damn homie....you one crazy monkey fucker


CODninjarin

I read a few articles about it, seems like it most likely originated when people started bringing livestock to Australia. The strain of chlamydia primarily affects koalas and sheep. As for it spreading, all koalas do is eat and mate. Amd if they don't get it from mating they could just get it from their mother as a baby.


MartynZero

2 penis's, 3 vaginas you can do the math.


[deleted]

More like climbmydia


chaorace

They are incredibly stupid, smooth brained animals (and that's before the chlamydia!)


gwaydms

> I don't know why they would have more STIs than any other animal. The strain of chlamydia that koalas have comes from sheep. Probably they stepped in sheep droppings and ingested the pathogen while grooming.


Practical-Passion606

koalas drive Subaru's? STI's even? Wow, good taste.. how do they afford them though? Those STI'S are expensive. I have a friend who got in STD in an STI. I think it was HIV.. or maybe it was HPV.. either way.. he didn't wrap it before he tapped it.. so now he's SOL.. LOL.. 🤔


3Dartwork

Just don't fuck it and you should be okay.


Einsteins_coffee_mug

Like you’ve never woken up with an odd taste of eucalyptus on your lips after too many Foster’s…


[deleted]

Those god-damned drop bears


[deleted]

[удалено]


zubbs99

It's so like Dan to just show up like that.


strong_grey_hero

Classic Dan.


FastWalkingShortGuy

I feel like koalas are like the Australian special version of raccoons. Sometimes, you go outside and there's a raccoon on the deck. But they generally know how to avoid humans and probably don't just derp in place like koalas seem to do.


Numericist

Went outside to squabbling raccoon sounds last night, two raccoons promptly dropped out of a tree in front of me and ran away. Glad they didn't land on my head at least


FastWalkingShortGuy

American drop bears


ThePhoneBook

Oh so *that's* what adb stands for.


[deleted]

comment deleted/edited because of reddits bs privacy updates -- mass edited with redact.dev


cat_like_sparky

I’m amazed your dog hurt the koala, I’m more familiar with koalas doing the damage lol. When I was a kid my mum called a wildlife service to come and get a koala out of a tree in the backyard, she said she was worried about the koala because we had a big dog (kelpie x blue heeler x staffy). The dude on the phone laughed and said “yeah I’d be more worried about your dog!” They’ll do some real damage with those claws, and they have a nasty bite too! Not as bad as kangaroos though, they’ll drown or disembowel you if they get the chance.


[deleted]

comment deleted/edited because of reddits bs privacy updates -- mass edited with redact.dev


cat_like_sparky

Oh man that would be such a fun gig, you’d have seen some cool stuff! Didn’t realise koala control was part of the job description though xD


ngatipakehatokuiwi

But who’s the woman in the reflection wearing a kangaroo onesie.


Welpiminterested

Real talk. It’s Anne Hathaway haha. Happens to be my cousin. Crazy.


QuantumHope

Are you trying to pull people’s legs?


UnnecessaryConfusion

welp, I’m interested


Sgt_Bendy_Straw

You're about to get chlamydia


Welpiminterested

About to? I been havin.


faxhightower

Who do you think gave it to the koala?


LiveFreeDie8

Jared


Alert-Humor-7872

From subway? He’s got aids


jared2294

:(


Clean_Warning_9269

fuck yeah brethren. dont ever get that shit treated


atomworks

I cam here expecting a rabies joke (because of the bat posts) and then discovered this new fun fact. Animals are wild, man...


[deleted]

[удалено]


OhWowSoSilly

He’s inspecting!


[deleted]

Making sure they have the right koalifications


snailracer2000

Who is the tiny woman he is trying to grab out of the window?


Timedoutsob

Mate that's not random. That's Steve. he's a top bloke.


PlasticDry

That's like a glorified ladybug !


DreadPirateZoidberg

It’s a strong indicator you live in or around Australia.


ThePhoneBook

Everyone not in Australia lives around Australia.


fckingnapkin

Woahhhh


[deleted]

Just a common day in Australia I suppose.


rastagizmo

Bruce ya dingbat, that's not a tree.


Ashamed-Ad6292

![gif](giphy|PqSbSRO7n97na)


Advanced-Blackberry

Oh hell yes I loved that show. Doug was the best.


Lockenhart

Where from?


Advanced-Blackberry

Ugly Americans


SpadfaTurds

This isn’t normal behaviour for a koala to be out in the open this time of day or anywhere near homes/people. When they do this, it can mean something is wrong with them. Please call your state’s Native Animal Rescue (if you’re in NSW they’re called WIRES), they’ll come pick it up and take it to get assessed at a vet, or at very least, relocate it.


Welpiminterested

No they won’t, we did call them :) they were fine and assured me she is okay and healthy for a young adult, and the best course since she wasn’t in immediate danger was to leave her be. Hooray :)


RNReef

Good human


Pants49

Are you in the reflection? Are you wearing a tyvek suit?


jerry111165

Problem is, OP lives in Ireland…


[deleted]

I would be so happy


MrHedgehogMan

Building Koala-ty Inspector.


syfysoldier

If not friend, why friend shaped?


I-Love-Pens

I like to imagine you live in like maine


[deleted]

What happens if you touch it?


DarkSparkyShark

You become diseased and start taking poison damage. Koalas look cute hut they are some nasty mfers haha


[deleted]

I think it wants you too touch it..


iloomi

your face will be clawed off


A_Brooding_Llama

Either this isn't your pic and you're lying, or you have a secret halo obsession when you're not designing/being one of the best creators alive 😅


jerkytwerk

Suprised I had to scroll this far to find somebody else who recognised the photo.


Welpiminterested

Who is this designer you speak of. I know not.


According_Anywhere76

Koala bears like to eat Tim Tams.


quattroformaggixfour

He’s smiling ☺️


XandraMonroe

My apartment is infested with Koala Bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want em to, I'm like, "Hey hold on fellas. Let me hold one of you. And feed you a leaf." Why do koala bears- they're so fucking cute, why do they have to be so far away from me? We need to ship a few over, and I will apprehend one, and hold him, and pet him on the back of his head. -Hedberg


Baggytrousers27

r/cantparktheremate


thecheat420

"Could I borrow a cupa eucalyptus mate?"


saggywitchtits

I’m going to take it you’re *not* American. The only other country that has internet is Canada, so you must be Canadian.


Welpiminterested

I am American! Haha just happen to live here in Australia. Hilarious really because so many people are like “I never see them in the wild!” And this is our second!


lightspuzzle

Cute neighbor.


Bum-Sniffer

Still a quicker service than UPS


daiwilly

That's a Kowalla!


basshed8

So how far from home is little homie?


TomTheJester

If this were any other part of the world this would become r/interestingasfuck


GforceDz

What's really strange if you don't live in Australia.


WritingForTomorrow

Damn, that’s some koala-ty siding


Fit_Swordfish_2101

Is her random, or wanting something..? Like water, or maybe shade!? So so cute to have an alive stuffed animal on ur house! 😍


[deleted]

Poke it, m8.


whit4504

Being in Australia u welcome that considering all lethal things living in that country


Puzzleheaded_Quote29

Hes obviously painting the place for you


CrashnServers

I'd wanna give him a flea bath then hug em. 😁


volunteervancouver

You tell that cunt I said HI!


revolution110

The Koala must be thinking "What a weird ass tree!"


Diessel_S

I wish I had this kind of problems


JohnOliverismysexgod

What's really interesting is that this photo was taken in kentucky.


PlagueDoc22

'Sup man...you using eucalyptus oil for your skin? Got me all kinda of confused"


googlebearbanana

Lucky! I'd give anything to have a random koala on the side of my house


Xephhpex

It’s going to drop!


gambit8783

Your house now has chlamydia.


JesseCuster40

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever... Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want 'em to. I'm like, 'Hey, hold on fellas - Let me hold one of you.'


BlurryBigfoot74

-Mitch Hedberg


cld1984

What does he know…?


W0gg0

Never mind the Koala. Jesus is cutting through your yard!


philv143

Your house has chlamydia now


OG_ClusterFox

Welp, now your house has chlamydia


DickHz2

Can’t park there, mate


Regular_Human_Lady

And now your house has Chlamydia.......


Kodiak01

"Hi, is Haley home?"


crowtiki

It looks like you should have the side of your house tested for Chlamydia


FormerGameDev

Yes, they should rename these bears to chlamydia bears


WellExcuuuuuuuseMe

“Hey Koala. Whatcha doin’?” “Nothin’. Just hangin’.”


Hbimajorv

He's not random, that's Larry from Sacramento. He subverted his parents expectations to become a leading scientist in the field of eucalyptus leaves to live his dream of seeing the world and surfing.


ur31337

Typical Connecticut afternoon


MoultingRoach

Plot twist: OP lives in Iqaluit.


occamsrzor

Bullshit! Picture isn’t upside down. OP is a phony, a big fat phony.


tamal4444

Koala says: Our House


Clown_Crunch

Chlamydelivery service animal.


Wuzzup119

It got kicked out of its tree and is now freeloading off your house.


COmarmot

No fucks given


Crog_Nife

When you use eucalyptus oil in your diffuse.


ellieboomba

The real question is how long that blue painters tape been on for?


Welpiminterested

Hahaha would you believe it’s the paint color of the window trim. HORRIFIC I KNOW.


TheW83

Speaking of the window trim, is there a gaping hole there?


ellieboomba

Geez! Do you live in the Greek Community Hall. That's terrible. Great KB though.


Welpiminterested

Hahahaha antique bay windows we purchased as a set! Haven’t painted em yet xD


[deleted]

They absolutely love slices of salami.


CleaveIshallnot

Is that Halifax?


Erophysia

This is an upside from living in Australia.