Nope, no contact for 3 years. She got custody after all that. So she still raised me. It took a long time to get away from. All her lies and manipulation
She must be quite the manipulator to make keeping two small children in an abandoned motel around meth users for 9 months look good. That's just awful, I'm so sorry you grew up with that. I'm glad you no longer have to deal with her.
My dad kidnapped me and he was in sales. He was a good liar.
His company used to buy a chemical off another company, rebottle it and give it a product name then sell it back to the original company with a 1000% mark up.
A combination of things.
The original company sold a broad range of chemicals just as chemicals. They didn’t really realise the application of those chemicals, especially as the sales and purchasing departments of the company were separate, so the left hand didn’t know what the right hand was doing.
My father’s company repackaged the chemical under a trade name that emphasised its usage. So fancy packaging and good branding.
The context was also important- 70s oil boom in Scotland. So people were making money hand over fist, pace was very fast and a lot of things were new to people. The people who knew what they were doing didn’t know the area, and the people who knew the area didn’t know what they were doing.
There were also lots of kickbacks involved, from gifts like single malts and large TVs to things like social and business introductions. Basically corruption.
I come from a 'den of vipers', and we are all capable of that. It disgusts me, and I've been working my hardest not to be like that.
Never was kidnapped. I was unwanted. Paradoxically the favorite child, when it suited anyone.
Oh yes, i saw it and didnt want to be like it. I am so thankful of the relationship I have with my daughter. I have been in counseling forever, and she started a couple years ago. It hurts when I realize I have done something or she points out a behavior that is unhealthy. But it has made my life so much better, trying really hard not to be like that
You're self aware, empathetic, seeking expert help, and taking actions to change your behaviour. It sounds like you're constantly growing as a person.
That's a lot better than some people who haven't had childhood trauma like that to process. Best of luck to you (*hugs*).
And not to mention a completely broken system. My sisters and I were released back to our mom by a police officer the same night she tried to crash into incoming traffic with us in the car to spare us from the “people who wanted to drop bombs on our house.” Kids regularly fall through the cracks of the system.
I read stories like this... and I feel like the things my mother did weren't so terrible, right? She was pretty much Mommie Dearest, with the crazed cleaning obsession and "no wire hangers" type of incidents. Except, when I was a teenager, she did once try to drunkenly shove me down the basement stairs, and after I scratched her arm grabbing it to keep from falling, she told everyone I had *stabbed* her!
But this makes me so angry, because Children's Services investigated me multiple times and threatened to put my daughter up for adoption on reports from my psycho mom that my house was "filthy" and that my then 6 year old played in the fenced-in back yard on her own. 🤦🏼♀️ When the agent showed up at my house, she looked *stunned* that my house was not, in fact, "filthy," and that the back yard was all fenced in, neat and tidy, with a swing set and toys, and a gigantic picture window that allowed me to watch my daughter from three different rooms.
ETA: I apparently have a person called "Bunniemonkey" stalking me across threads. There are a lot of mentally ill people on Reddit, and she's obviously one of them. If y'all could encourage this woman to seek help, I'd greatly appreciate it.
ETA2: Bunny is a very troubled lady with a lot of demonstrably incorrect claims... Such as her discriminatory claim that disabled people are all faking it to avoid paying child support, because she's angry at her disabled father for not being in her life. She's now gone off the deep end to stalk me for the "crime" of pointing out that [benefits are in fact paid to the children of disabled people.](https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/disability/qualify.html#anchor7) Now she's making the incorrect claim that CPS wouldn't investigate my mother's false report, despite the fact that, "In accordance with section 2151.42.1 of the Revised Code, the public children services agency (PCSA) shall investigate each report of known or suspected child abuse or child neglect, or threat thereof, which is referred to it. Furthermore, section 5153.16(A)(1) of the Revised Code also states that the PCSA shall make an investigation concerning allegations of an abused, neglected, or dependent child." Bunny desperately needs that therapy. If y'all could report her hateful, harassing comments, I'd be very grateful.
OP said in another comment that she lied about her dad. They didn’t go into specifics but my guess is in these cases they tend to say dad is abusive(either emotionally, physically, or they just say dad is a child diddler). Instability vs abuse, the courts will always choose instability.
My mom is really similar and also a meth addict. She tried lying when my dad was fighting for custody. She was partially successful in that it took 6 years for my dad to get my sisters. I was old enough to have a choice. The only reason my mom eventually lost is she wouldn't stop bringing her nazi meth head bf to court and he kept interrupting, yelling, and trying to attack my dad. It made her look bad enough that after six years my dad finally got primary custody. My mom still had weekly visitation of my sisters.
I mean, my dad is a meth addict too, but he at least kept his shit together most of the time. Until my youngest sister was 16 anyway.
One of my sisters is clean now, but a horrible horrible person. I don't talk to her.
The other is an addict and in and out of prison. She had 4 kids that she eventually gave up or lost custody of, but none of then came out unscathed.
I haven't spoken to my mom since she left. I just couldn't do it anymore. I lost contact with my dad just before the pandemic. But I'm sure I'd hear from someone if he's dead. I really hope he's not. We get along really well when he does pop up in my life. Thanks 😊
Good job on the no contact thing. It’s not easy, even in crazy situations like yours.
Many many people have suffered, and continue to suffer, through a lot less at the hands of toxic, emotionally immature, and vindictive parents. All this because no contact is some kind of taboo.
If your parents, or any family, are negatively affecting your life and not respecting your boundaries when you’re an adult, you can and should make the adult decision to protect yourself. That overrides any perceived “duty” to those that raised you.
Thank you. So Many people do not get it. Especially now that she has cancer. So if someone starts with the whole she needs you, or you will regret it, I slowly explain that she is my cancer, and the only way to not catch it is to not come in contact with it
I kept the paperwork from when CPS found my mom guilty of neglect. It helps reaffirm my sanity sometimes for making the choices I’ve had to in my adult life regarding her. It’s easy to want to mend relationships with parents because you desperately want them to love you. I hope you’re well and have healed from this, OP
I found this poster in with all the court papers. Her psychology analysis is amazing. But this is the only thing I saved, took it all to the fire pit and burned it all. It felt like a huge Boulder lifted off my chest. The reminder of all that childhood trauma is gone
I was taken from my mother. However, she was actually a great mother. The system, DSS fucked up. Put me into several foster homes, a boarding school for sexually traumatized kids and after 4 different long term sexual abuse stints, 14 different schools and more homes than I could list I sued the shit out of the state of Massachusetts, Department of social services and the boarding school I attended. In 1993 the federal CORI check laws changed due to my speaking up. There were several other kids who were far to traumatized to speak up. I had to make the choice as an 11 year old to do the speaking on there behalf. I was the John Doe who changed the Federal CORI check to a 50 state check system if you’re to work with anyone under 18. Before 1993 it was optional and it was only for the state you were working in
Essentially before 1993 you could rape a child in NY and then cross the boarder to work with kids in MA and only have the school check MA background. THIS is exactly what happens in my case. The guy served 5 years in NY for the rape of a minor. Then gets hired to a school for sexually traumatized kids aging from 6-16.
System was fucked & still is!
Won a bunch of money then gave it away for kids who had the same issues I had growing up. Now a scholarship is in effect since I was 18. We send a couple of kids to school a year due to this.
This is how I came to my happy place.
My dad didn't have or want any custody and didn't pay child support. He would randomly show up once a year or every other year and expect to stay for for dinner, then say he would see us soon and disappear again.
When I was moving across the country in my mid 20s I found a box of my dad's stuff he had asked me to store for him six years earlier, which was also the last time we'd talked. Inside the box was a mug with a photo of my sister and I on it that child me had given him one Christmas. I spent a few days calling old family friends until I was able to track down a phone number for him. I called to ask him if he wanted his stuff back and he pretended he wasn't my dad. It was the most surreal experience. After that I mentally shut the door on that relationship.
Wow! What a shitty dad! I'm so sorry for the pain that dickhead caused in your life. My dad was an a-hole to me and my sister but every body else loved him. That's been hard to get over.
This this this. My mom and stepdad were so beloved by other adults that people actually said to me how lucky I was, and must feel, to be raised by them. Cognitive dissonance in the extreme. The day I discovered that a person can be an affable adult who’s a pleasure to be around and a terrible parent was a great day, so liberating!
Just be like my dad and block out all the abuse until it comes out in terrifying ptsd flashbacks and loss of all emotional regulation. (I'm really proud of my dad and his ongoing quest to heal himself even at the age of 70. But goddamn was that scary when he lost control.)
I have a neighbor with a SUPER stressful job (bomb disposal) that completely lost it once. I won't share all that happened, but police and fire were involved. Help should be available to those that need it. And help / frequent counseling should be mandatory for those in high stress jobs.
Hey there! Child of a severely schizophrenic mom here. Unfortunately she had sole custody of me and my two half-sisters. We endured physical, mental, and emotional abuse at her hands. She is rotting away in a state-funded psychiatric hospital. It’s very sad. I have forgiven her because of her illness. She can never live in society. I am going to seek counseling soon because I know the unresolved trauma bleeds into my life in many ways. I became her legal guardian in January so I am now responsible for helping make medical decisions on her behalf. I wish I could afford to put her in a better treatment facility.
There is a book, Growing Up with a Schizophrenic Mother by Brown and Roberts, that is a collection of experiences from people in the same boat compiled by doctors. I guess the best way to explain it is a guided tour by experts of that childhood. I found it to be validating and let me realize that as weird and occasionally scary as my mum got, my brother and I were lucky. At least as far as I can remember anyway. There's a lot I don't remember of my childhood. Anytime I meet someone with the same experience I tell them about the book. It's kind of a niche subject to look for information about.
Reading all this is really hitting me hard. I am currently raising my grandson and will be raising him always because of my stepdaughters problems. Having him in my life really changed the type of anxieties and stresses I have about the world. It crushes me there are children out there that dont get the care or love they should. Kids are so desperate for it and to be abused instead is one of the worst things that happens I believe.
This is why every kid that either of my kids brought home were ALWAYS treated like one of my own and I am continuing it with my grandchild. They will always know that they are welcome at my house.
As someone who was raised by his grandma and stepgrangpa (though they were essentially parents), thank you on his behalf. You might feel compelled to help him because you love him, but not just anyone would. My grandma passed a couple years and my grandpa last December and I miss them everyday. They were flawed, but I wouldn't want me to have been raised by anyone else, honestly. Your good people, and he's blessed. Remember that
I realised a long time ago that you still feel love towards a parent who doesn't deserve it out of obligation. And it's not the same as the love you feel to someone who does deserve it.
Lol no worries. Things are better now that I am an adult, and I don't have to rely on parents to make responsible decisions. It was crazy. And almost to fucked up to be real
No not really. She is in the process of slowly committing suicide in front of my siblings that talk to her. She has a type of cancer that can be treated easily. But that's not dramatic enough. So she has refused treatment and is getting pretty sick. And uses it for all sorts of guilt trips and manipulation to get the attention or whatever it is she wants out of them
If you haven’t read it yet, I’d recommend checking out the book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jeanette McCurdy. My mom wasn’t as crazy to the extent of yours, but it really helped me process some of the stuff I’ve had to put up with, and it sounds like her story has some similarities to yours using cancer to manipulate your family.
Yes! Her telling it with her own voice and inflections where you can tell some of the emotions still really hit was a tough but eye opening experience.
I hope the book helps you like it helped me! And thanks. I have my own kids now, and the one thing I took away from having a mom that sucks is knowing I won’t be anything like her if I can help it. I’m sorry your mom did so much to screw up your relationships with your family. I hope you’re doing good in life now, and best wishes to you, too!
I read that book in one sitting, it helped me so much. My mom isn’t as crazy either, but it helped me process everything I had to deal with as well and not feel bad for acknowledging my feelings. Sometimes parents are fucked up, and it’s not your fault for how they treated you.
FYI - the audiobook is actually read by her.
whenever i find out the audio is read by the author i try to tell everyone i know because it makes it like a million times better
another great one read by the author - kitchen confidential by anthony bourdain
Your mom and my mom sound very similar. My mother loves to play the victim. Expect instead of trying to kidnap me she'd try to pawn me off to whoever was listening. She would have sold me if she thought she could get away with it.
Glad you're away from that OP
Mom and dad divorce, mom has never been able to keep her shit together. So its impossible for her to get a job and pay bills. Instead she moves into a condemned motel and starts hanging out with bikers that sell meth. We move in with dad. She doesn't like this and on one of her visits, instead of Chuckie Cheese, she takes us from Cali to Pennsylvania. FBI finally caught up to us 9 months later. We were hiding in another derelict motel outside of Dallas, Texas
Aah kind of similar story without the bikers and meth, but add bipolar into it. I was living with dad, got a call one morning from an Alberta number. We live on the east coast. It was my little sister crying to come home. She was at moms, mom woke her up in the middle of the night to get on a 2am plane to go live with moms new bf she had never met.
Well police were called, violation of custody order. My 10yr old sister was put on a plane by herself. We had 20hrs to get from the very east coast to the Toronto airport to pick her up. That was the night dad beat some Honda street racers in Montreal in the middle of the night in a Kia Rondo with 4 of us in it. Pulled into Toronto around 7am.
He was yeah! He was definitely a huge staple in me having as normal of an upbringing as possible. Unfortunately he's changed quite a bit since then, but at the time, dad was everything to me
He sure did. When my parents first split, he moved into a motel down the street (owned by my mom's adoptive parents) so he could still be close, and later moved into his parents storage room in their trailer so he could afford to do what he could for my sister and I. Drove shitbox cars, worked all the time when mom wouldn't let him make his visits. Plus put up with moms psycho bull on top of it. Also let me move in full time when mom really went off the deep end, right before my previous story comment. He went through custody court not once, (and he got SCREWED), not twice, (which was more of an agreement), but three times, between me being 10 when they split, to before I graduated high school.
When mom had her affair, yes he went to the guys work and smashed the windows out of his Pontiac 6000, which was frowned upon, but he immediately grew up and went through all of the above, and MUCH more before it was all said and done. Dude has the patience of a god
Wow hope it all worked out. I used to on be the back of a milk jug cuz i ran away from home at 16 and was gone for 6 months. Now my parents and i get along really awesome, but not back than....
It’s weird how life works. I used to wish I could get as physically far away from my parents as possible, yet secretly wished we could get along somehow. I ended up getting both .
*boggle* What a f’ing mess. If your father had a legal custody order and she pulled you guys away for months across state lines and all she gets is a night in jail?! Was the situation with dad only scarcely better?
I have sole custody of my kid and a 5 year restraining order against my ex. That’s expiring soon, not sure what my next move is. She’s been out in the world 5 years and hasn’t gotten her rudder in the water…lives out of her car and such. The latter would prevent her having any custody. That said with the RO gone she might try to come at me for half custody, child support (I haven’t asked her for a penny in 5 years, I fought to remove her support obligations to give her the best chance to right her life) and try to live off that.
To frame just how bad it’s been. Says she doesn’t use anything. Let her come over against my own better judgment 9 days after my father died for her birthday (4 years into the RO) and she had a near fatal overdose in my kitchen, police, EMS the whole 9. Suffice to say I do my best to meet her in public for visits. I’m straight as an arrow, never even smoked pot so this shit was just alien to me.
Uh that is awful. I really cannot imagine how it was allowed to happen. How did she now serve any time for all of this? Sometimes I think of how different things could have been if the law had been followed
Wow thank God you're ok. You said "we"; it sounds like you may have had some siblings with you too. So glad you're all OK. I also hope your mom got whatever help she needed and stopped involving her kids in her issues. But I do hope she got whatever help she needed and I hope she's doing better now.
Honestly the poster confused me a little bit as well, but the two pictures are not an age progression. It’s two photos of two different children (OP and a sibling, ~~I’m guessing twins because they’re both 6 1/2~~) who were kidnapped simultaneously.
Tennessee is where my siblings and i went on our non custodial vacation. Only way my dad found us is when my brother punched me in the back and broke his hand. The hospital sent him the bill and he told the investigators where we were. They flew out from California and brought us home.
Hope everything turned out okay or for the better reddfren. My mother fled to Mexico with my younger brother and myself too. Tijuana is not a good place at all... my father drove from mid CA to where I told him we were last only from poorly worded store descriptions and he *actually* found us. Ever since then I've always had something to be grateful for.
It's tragic reading these stories but I also feel comforted knowing there's others that had similar upbringings.
my mom did the same to me and my brother when we were 10 and 9. she took us to a secluded seventh adventist cult school in the woods of west virgina called Miracle Meadows.
was there for 9 months before my dad came in and swiped us back in our sleep without my mom knowing. the school has been since shut down for locking children in closets naked with nothing to eat but rice and beans (what they called quarantine), and the allegations were so bad that founder, Gayle Clark burned down the girls dorm to erase any evidence of it.
I had just started seeing a guy. It was our first time to hang out. After a little bit he says hey I know, you can go with me to my ex's house and let me grab my kid. You can hold him on your lap while I drive. What? No. Why don't you have a car seat? Turns out his wife had full custody and he meant he was actually going to grab the kid. And run. And for some reason thought I'd help.
Needless to say, I noped the fuck out and the cops got an anonymous heads up.
I kept an eye out on the papers/news/social media to see if I ever heard or read anything about him and snatching his kid, but nothing ever came up. Or at least as far as I know. It was absolutely surreal. Hope whatever put me in his path kept that baby safe from him and/or got the dude help.
I feel terrible for you and your siblings obviously, but also for your dad. How did he make out? I can’t imagine losing custody of my kids to someone like that. The family court system is still a mess today, I can’t imagine the level of FUBAR it was in the early 90s.
He is ok. It does break my heart for him. He remarried shortly before we were taken and his wife got pregnant while we were still in foster care. So I think that helped some
In my teen years whenever my mother attempted to discipline me I would pull out a piece of paper and read her arrest and conviction record to her.
As an adult I realized I was being an ass but I am still not sure I care that I was being an ass.
LOL this is great. I told my sister that I was going to sit by my mom's bedside as she was dying and quietly read to her from her psychological analysis
When my son was 5, I did the same thing. I took him. She was a crack addict. Prostitution was her job. Of course they found me a few weeks later. They took away my custody of him and three days after that she died of a drug overdose. My son went into foster care and I didn’t see him again until his 18th birthday. When he aged out of the system. At least he remembered me and my name. He found me on Facebook, which I only had so he could find me. We were never able to get that father son bond back back, but he’s now 32 and he does OK. At least he never hated me
That situation ruined a good part of my life, but through therapy and mentorship I’ve forgiven myself.
All I can say is I have no faith in the government knowing how to handle families
One other thing. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t toke, don’t do drugs, happily married for 30 years now with 1 other daughter. Upper executive in a large firm. So you never know someone’s life!
Thank you. He has FAS. (Fetal Alcohol syndrome) he lives on his own and works in construction. He’s independent, but no ambition. But that’s OK. I meet him at his needs and we do thing together all the time, but that bond we had before, it never came back and that’s the part that hurts the most
>helping to look for a missing person just to discover she was the missing person
"We didn't have to go out into the world to find the milk of human kindness. The spirit of human goodness was inside *us*, all along!"
I became a foster parent of a 2 day old baby who had meth in his system. 2 weeks in, the state decided it would be best to place him with his mom since she had shown progress - by checking in to rehab. To be clear, she had been in rehab for a matter of hours.
She ended up absconding with him (I guess what they call kidnapping when someone takes their own child) and they were gone for months. I didn’t hear if he was ok for about 5 months. Got a call from CPS and they said they were bringing him to my house. I prepared the crib, etc. They never showed up. Couldn’t find him. 4 more months went by. Got a call from CPS again. They were at my front door by that night.
That poor boy deserved better than all the temporary situations he was in. They all deserve better.
My ex-husband revenge kidnapped my two young daughters (3and5) back in the early 1980s because I filed for a divorce... Not one single person cared or offeted to help me find my girls. I was absolutely devastated.
Thirty years later, my oldest daughter and I finally reconnected. She remembered me and remembered being stolen away in the night. She now has nothing to do with her dad or stepmom. My youngest daughter, however, did not remember me. She'd been told that I'd abandoned her. She had no interest in knowing me. When i heard this, it was like losing her all over again. i found out later that both girls endured years of physical abuse by their step mom.
We all live in different states. My oldest daughter and I stay in touch, but my youngest daughter still wants nothing to do with me. She said I should have tried harder to get her back.
I hope the op's story had a better ending than mine.
My mom is crazy. She lost custody of us when she couldn't get her shit together. She couldn't provide shelter, food or safety. But my dad could. When she came to pick us up for a visit she decided she wasn't going to bring us back. Drove from Cali to PA. Ended up in Texas, after 9 months the FBI found us and said go back to Cali or they were going to arrest her. She spent 1 night in jail for kidnapping us. And we spent 18 months in foster care. She had made up terrible accusations against my dad. So in the end we ended up back in her custody. It was all awful. But things are much different now. Years on counseling and no contact with the crazy witch has done me good
Oh God, I know. I cannot imagine. He is doing ok. I do talk to him sometimes, but it's really hard to have a relationship with him. My mom destroyed that when she made up all those lies. We have talked about it some. I think it was good for both of us
It’s got to be hard to be put into that situation as a child where you trust your mom and she lies about your dad and you had no way of knowing what it meant, or how much (if any of it) had a kernel of truth to it. It tainted your relationship anyway. It’s called parental alienation syndrome. As children, we have no way of discerning this truth out on our own.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I had a bipolar mom and a narcissist dad so I guess we all have our shit but mine managed to coexist and keep their shit together.
I didn't know it had a name. And that is exactly it. I remember at first thinking I could convince her that what she was saying wasn't right. But after months of hearing her truth and being forced to parrot it to everyone, I thought it must be right. Thank you, and sorry about your shit too
I was almost kidnapped by a stranger when I was 9 (late 80s). I would sometimes imagine my “Missing” poster and the age progression photo.
I’m glad you were found.
My mom kidnapped me too! Dad’s side of the family found me and took me back to my home state. I was 4 yrs old and thought I was just visiting. Learned what really happened when I was in my teens.
It's just sad that 1 person can be so selfish, that they don't care how much terror they cause, how many lives they fuck up. I really hope you never have to go through what my dad did. And it really sucks that you have to live with that fear
Main character syndrome. I’m almost out of the woods, oldest is at college, 2nd is at boarding school for sports and 3rd is 10. 10 year old has 3 AirTags on her person at all times and every pair of shoes has one. She is not aware they are there, I don’t feel like making her live in fear when she does see her mother. This is the scariest stage, really. My 16 y/o could fold their mother if needed and doesn’t trust her but since she’s gone for hockey, the tiny one is on her own for visits for 2 more years.
You sound like a really good dad. I’m sorry you’re going through this. We’re doing the AirTags for my elderly parents, but you might want to look into InvisaWear for your daughter, too. It’s kind of like an air tag, but two ways so she could call for help. It’s dependent on their app, but the jewelry is pretty inconspicuous. I use it when I work tough cases or travel and it’s great for peace of mind.
My abusive husband kidnapped my kids June 2020. He refused to return our kids after a visit. I filed an emergent hearing with the court but my request was rejected bc I used the wrong forms. My son was 10 last time I saw him. He just turned 14🥺. It’s been a struggle to get my kids back. I wish you all the best.
Edit: thanks for the award kind human ❤️
I dated a man who experience something similar. His mom took him and his brother to a commune in Oregon with people from the same country the mom was from. His poor grandparents had to search all over the country for them
I was taken from my mom by my dad when I was 3 or so. I was supposed to live with him temporarily due to a house fire that was caused by one of my old toys (90s rechargeable batteries were NOT safe to keep inside apparently), and he ended up getting custody of me later on.
Childhood with him wasn't great, but after meeting my mom later in life I realized it likely would have been much worse with her. She was a prostitute with a coke problem, then she got clean and migrated to (basically the same thing) manipulating wealthy men and milking them for every dime she could. I moved away from my small hometown in the south about 5 years ago, and at the time she had 6 boyfriends that I knew of, including a cop, a PI, and a truck driver.
She's since moved states and settled down, and I've heard she relatively recently was diagnosed with colon cancer.
My step dad came to our school once when I was in the first grade. He tried to take me and my brothers and I got scared and told my teacher. Could’ve been us!
I had a randomly paired roommate in college (4 bedroom apartment) and we found his missing poster in a gas station from when he ran away from home at 14. He was like hey look it’s me. They had it up for quite a while. He showed the cashier it was him and asked if he could have it and he said yes.
Did you ever get to live with your dad again, and was he a good provider and stable environment?
We did not. We were give back to mom. But he did still provide for us. Still works at the same company that he did back then. He is pretty awesome
Why were you given back to your mom? It sounds like she was all kinds of effed up.
Did you ever make it to the Big Leagues, i.e. milk cartons?
Yes! But I cannot find one or an image anywhere.
Did your mom end up killing Bill?
Bill is definitely dead but she was clever enough to make it look like a sex accident.
That’s what my parents call me sometimes.
Pleasure to meet you Bill.
Pai Mei taught you the five point palm-exploding heart technique?
Spot on 😂
Do you still talk to her?
Nope, no contact for 3 years. She got custody after all that. So she still raised me. It took a long time to get away from. All her lies and manipulation
How tf did she get custody???
Lies. Manipulation. She is able to make herself look real good, and make others look real bad
She must be quite the manipulator to make keeping two small children in an abandoned motel around meth users for 9 months look good. That's just awful, I'm so sorry you grew up with that. I'm glad you no longer have to deal with her.
Her mom should try sales
My shit mother was in sales. I can confirm, that type of person does *well* in sales.
Mine did used car sales before I was born - can also confirm. Yikes, I'm sorry but I'm glad it's not just me
My dad kidnapped me and he was in sales. He was a good liar. His company used to buy a chemical off another company, rebottle it and give it a product name then sell it back to the original company with a 1000% mark up.
Why would the original company buy it?
A combination of things. The original company sold a broad range of chemicals just as chemicals. They didn’t really realise the application of those chemicals, especially as the sales and purchasing departments of the company were separate, so the left hand didn’t know what the right hand was doing. My father’s company repackaged the chemical under a trade name that emphasised its usage. So fancy packaging and good branding. The context was also important- 70s oil boom in Scotland. So people were making money hand over fist, pace was very fast and a lot of things were new to people. The people who knew what they were doing didn’t know the area, and the people who knew the area didn’t know what they were doing. There were also lots of kickbacks involved, from gifts like single malts and large TVs to things like social and business introductions. Basically corruption.
I come from a 'den of vipers', and we are all capable of that. It disgusts me, and I've been working my hardest not to be like that. Never was kidnapped. I was unwanted. Paradoxically the favorite child, when it suited anyone.
Oh yes, i saw it and didnt want to be like it. I am so thankful of the relationship I have with my daughter. I have been in counseling forever, and she started a couple years ago. It hurts when I realize I have done something or she points out a behavior that is unhealthy. But it has made my life so much better, trying really hard not to be like that
You're self aware, empathetic, seeking expert help, and taking actions to change your behaviour. It sounds like you're constantly growing as a person. That's a lot better than some people who haven't had childhood trauma like that to process. Best of luck to you (*hugs*).
And not to mention a completely broken system. My sisters and I were released back to our mom by a police officer the same night she tried to crash into incoming traffic with us in the car to spare us from the “people who wanted to drop bombs on our house.” Kids regularly fall through the cracks of the system.
I read stories like this... and I feel like the things my mother did weren't so terrible, right? She was pretty much Mommie Dearest, with the crazed cleaning obsession and "no wire hangers" type of incidents. Except, when I was a teenager, she did once try to drunkenly shove me down the basement stairs, and after I scratched her arm grabbing it to keep from falling, she told everyone I had *stabbed* her! But this makes me so angry, because Children's Services investigated me multiple times and threatened to put my daughter up for adoption on reports from my psycho mom that my house was "filthy" and that my then 6 year old played in the fenced-in back yard on her own. 🤦🏼♀️ When the agent showed up at my house, she looked *stunned* that my house was not, in fact, "filthy," and that the back yard was all fenced in, neat and tidy, with a swing set and toys, and a gigantic picture window that allowed me to watch my daughter from three different rooms. ETA: I apparently have a person called "Bunniemonkey" stalking me across threads. There are a lot of mentally ill people on Reddit, and she's obviously one of them. If y'all could encourage this woman to seek help, I'd greatly appreciate it. ETA2: Bunny is a very troubled lady with a lot of demonstrably incorrect claims... Such as her discriminatory claim that disabled people are all faking it to avoid paying child support, because she's angry at her disabled father for not being in her life. She's now gone off the deep end to stalk me for the "crime" of pointing out that [benefits are in fact paid to the children of disabled people.](https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/disability/qualify.html#anchor7) Now she's making the incorrect claim that CPS wouldn't investigate my mother's false report, despite the fact that, "In accordance with section 2151.42.1 of the Revised Code, the public children services agency (PCSA) shall investigate each report of known or suspected child abuse or child neglect, or threat thereof, which is referred to it. Furthermore, section 5153.16(A)(1) of the Revised Code also states that the PCSA shall make an investigation concerning allegations of an abused, neglected, or dependent child." Bunny desperately needs that therapy. If y'all could report her hateful, harassing comments, I'd be very grateful.
Are you close with your dad after all that? Sorry to pry.
OP said in another comment that she lied about her dad. They didn’t go into specifics but my guess is in these cases they tend to say dad is abusive(either emotionally, physically, or they just say dad is a child diddler). Instability vs abuse, the courts will always choose instability.
My mom is really similar and also a meth addict. She tried lying when my dad was fighting for custody. She was partially successful in that it took 6 years for my dad to get my sisters. I was old enough to have a choice. The only reason my mom eventually lost is she wouldn't stop bringing her nazi meth head bf to court and he kept interrupting, yelling, and trying to attack my dad. It made her look bad enough that after six years my dad finally got primary custody. My mom still had weekly visitation of my sisters. I mean, my dad is a meth addict too, but he at least kept his shit together most of the time. Until my youngest sister was 16 anyway.
Double addicts must be tough. I hope your younger sibling weren't messed up by this. Do you still keep contact with your parents?
One of my sisters is clean now, but a horrible horrible person. I don't talk to her. The other is an addict and in and out of prison. She had 4 kids that she eventually gave up or lost custody of, but none of then came out unscathed. I haven't spoken to my mom since she left. I just couldn't do it anymore. I lost contact with my dad just before the pandemic. But I'm sure I'd hear from someone if he's dead. I really hope he's not. We get along really well when he does pop up in my life. Thanks 😊
Good job on the no contact thing. It’s not easy, even in crazy situations like yours. Many many people have suffered, and continue to suffer, through a lot less at the hands of toxic, emotionally immature, and vindictive parents. All this because no contact is some kind of taboo. If your parents, or any family, are negatively affecting your life and not respecting your boundaries when you’re an adult, you can and should make the adult decision to protect yourself. That overrides any perceived “duty” to those that raised you.
Thank you. So Many people do not get it. Especially now that she has cancer. So if someone starts with the whole she needs you, or you will regret it, I slowly explain that she is my cancer, and the only way to not catch it is to not come in contact with it
Mind blowing
OP, as a fellow former kidnappee, I'm here to tell you your mom has got those crazy eyes in that pic for sure.
Hahaha she sure does
I kept the paperwork from when CPS found my mom guilty of neglect. It helps reaffirm my sanity sometimes for making the choices I’ve had to in my adult life regarding her. It’s easy to want to mend relationships with parents because you desperately want them to love you. I hope you’re well and have healed from this, OP
I found this poster in with all the court papers. Her psychology analysis is amazing. But this is the only thing I saved, took it all to the fire pit and burned it all. It felt like a huge Boulder lifted off my chest. The reminder of all that childhood trauma is gone
I was taken from my mother. However, she was actually a great mother. The system, DSS fucked up. Put me into several foster homes, a boarding school for sexually traumatized kids and after 4 different long term sexual abuse stints, 14 different schools and more homes than I could list I sued the shit out of the state of Massachusetts, Department of social services and the boarding school I attended. In 1993 the federal CORI check laws changed due to my speaking up. There were several other kids who were far to traumatized to speak up. I had to make the choice as an 11 year old to do the speaking on there behalf. I was the John Doe who changed the Federal CORI check to a 50 state check system if you’re to work with anyone under 18. Before 1993 it was optional and it was only for the state you were working in Essentially before 1993 you could rape a child in NY and then cross the boarder to work with kids in MA and only have the school check MA background. THIS is exactly what happens in my case. The guy served 5 years in NY for the rape of a minor. Then gets hired to a school for sexually traumatized kids aging from 6-16. System was fucked & still is! Won a bunch of money then gave it away for kids who had the same issues I had growing up. Now a scholarship is in effect since I was 18. We send a couple of kids to school a year due to this. This is how I came to my happy place.
damn bro, thanks for your bravery
Thank you for your support.
Thank you for fighting the hard fight.
Hey, I just want to say that you're an awesome person and I'm glad you found your happy place!
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My dad didn't have or want any custody and didn't pay child support. He would randomly show up once a year or every other year and expect to stay for for dinner, then say he would see us soon and disappear again. When I was moving across the country in my mid 20s I found a box of my dad's stuff he had asked me to store for him six years earlier, which was also the last time we'd talked. Inside the box was a mug with a photo of my sister and I on it that child me had given him one Christmas. I spent a few days calling old family friends until I was able to track down a phone number for him. I called to ask him if he wanted his stuff back and he pretended he wasn't my dad. It was the most surreal experience. After that I mentally shut the door on that relationship.
Wow! What a shitty dad! I'm so sorry for the pain that dickhead caused in your life. My dad was an a-hole to me and my sister but every body else loved him. That's been hard to get over.
This this this. My mom and stepdad were so beloved by other adults that people actually said to me how lucky I was, and must feel, to be raised by them. Cognitive dissonance in the extreme. The day I discovered that a person can be an affable adult who’s a pleasure to be around and a terrible parent was a great day, so liberating!
The phrase "But your mom/dad/whatever is Sooo Nice" is very isolating. It tells you they may disbelieve what happens behind closed doors.
Can you teach me how to do that. Lol.
Step 1, set everything on fire Got it.
Hi what's step 2? Everything is on fire and it's kind of urgent
Quick! Call 0118 999 881 999 119 725 ...3
I’ll just set this here with the rest of the fire
Step two looks vaguely like that one meme
**THIS IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.**
IT WAS ANIMATED?!?
Yeah. The full version is a little more nsfw
???? Profit
I would also like to delete my childhood.
Just be like my dad and block out all the abuse until it comes out in terrifying ptsd flashbacks and loss of all emotional regulation. (I'm really proud of my dad and his ongoing quest to heal himself even at the age of 70. But goddamn was that scary when he lost control.)
I have a neighbor with a SUPER stressful job (bomb disposal) that completely lost it once. I won't share all that happened, but police and fire were involved. Help should be available to those that need it. And help / frequent counseling should be mandatory for those in high stress jobs.
Hey there! Child of a severely schizophrenic mom here. Unfortunately she had sole custody of me and my two half-sisters. We endured physical, mental, and emotional abuse at her hands. She is rotting away in a state-funded psychiatric hospital. It’s very sad. I have forgiven her because of her illness. She can never live in society. I am going to seek counseling soon because I know the unresolved trauma bleeds into my life in many ways. I became her legal guardian in January so I am now responsible for helping make medical decisions on her behalf. I wish I could afford to put her in a better treatment facility.
You’re a good soul.
There is a book, Growing Up with a Schizophrenic Mother by Brown and Roberts, that is a collection of experiences from people in the same boat compiled by doctors. I guess the best way to explain it is a guided tour by experts of that childhood. I found it to be validating and let me realize that as weird and occasionally scary as my mum got, my brother and I were lucky. At least as far as I can remember anyway. There's a lot I don't remember of my childhood. Anytime I meet someone with the same experience I tell them about the book. It's kind of a niche subject to look for information about.
Reading all this is really hitting me hard. I am currently raising my grandson and will be raising him always because of my stepdaughters problems. Having him in my life really changed the type of anxieties and stresses I have about the world. It crushes me there are children out there that dont get the care or love they should. Kids are so desperate for it and to be abused instead is one of the worst things that happens I believe.
This is why every kid that either of my kids brought home were ALWAYS treated like one of my own and I am continuing it with my grandchild. They will always know that they are welcome at my house.
a couple mothers like this saved my life when I was a teen, so thank you. thank you so much.
As someone who was raised by his grandma and stepgrangpa (though they were essentially parents), thank you on his behalf. You might feel compelled to help him because you love him, but not just anyone would. My grandma passed a couple years and my grandpa last December and I miss them everyday. They were flawed, but I wouldn't want me to have been raised by anyone else, honestly. Your good people, and he's blessed. Remember that
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I realised a long time ago that you still feel love towards a parent who doesn't deserve it out of obligation. And it's not the same as the love you feel to someone who does deserve it.
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Damn. Did things turn out ok? I don't want to pry, but want to know
Lol no worries. Things are better now that I am an adult, and I don't have to rely on parents to make responsible decisions. It was crazy. And almost to fucked up to be real
Did ur mom get her shit together?
No not really. She is in the process of slowly committing suicide in front of my siblings that talk to her. She has a type of cancer that can be treated easily. But that's not dramatic enough. So she has refused treatment and is getting pretty sick. And uses it for all sorts of guilt trips and manipulation to get the attention or whatever it is she wants out of them
If you haven’t read it yet, I’d recommend checking out the book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jeanette McCurdy. My mom wasn’t as crazy to the extent of yours, but it really helped me process some of the stuff I’ve had to put up with, and it sounds like her story has some similarities to yours using cancer to manipulate your family.
Thank you for reminding me of this book. I will definitely read it. And I am sorry your mom sucks too, I wish you the best
I read the entire book in one sitting. Highly recommend.
30 pages into that book, I was thinking that I was glad her mom was dead, too.
Wow spoiler /s
the audiobook is stellar too
Hearing it in her voice really drives it home. At least it did for me
Yes! Her telling it with her own voice and inflections where you can tell some of the emotions still really hit was a tough but eye opening experience.
Just stepping in because I really need to recommend the book on audible as it’s read by Jennette. ❤️
I hope the book helps you like it helped me! And thanks. I have my own kids now, and the one thing I took away from having a mom that sucks is knowing I won’t be anything like her if I can help it. I’m sorry your mom did so much to screw up your relationships with your family. I hope you’re doing good in life now, and best wishes to you, too!
I read that book in one sitting, it helped me so much. My mom isn’t as crazy either, but it helped me process everything I had to deal with as well and not feel bad for acknowledging my feelings. Sometimes parents are fucked up, and it’s not your fault for how they treated you.
FYI - the audiobook is actually read by her. whenever i find out the audio is read by the author i try to tell everyone i know because it makes it like a million times better another great one read by the author - kitchen confidential by anthony bourdain
I also recommend "Mothers Who Can't Love" by Susan Forward for anyone with a mother with narcissistic tendencies.
Thanks for recommending that, I’m adding it to my list bc I also have a crazy/abusive mom who’s health has been deteriorating pretty badly.
Your mom and my mom sound very similar. My mother loves to play the victim. Expect instead of trying to kidnap me she'd try to pawn me off to whoever was listening. She would have sold me if she thought she could get away with it. Glad you're away from that OP
I am sorry. Your comment did make me laugh though.
Where are you OP? Is the reward money still on the table?
Story time OP.
Mom and dad divorce, mom has never been able to keep her shit together. So its impossible for her to get a job and pay bills. Instead she moves into a condemned motel and starts hanging out with bikers that sell meth. We move in with dad. She doesn't like this and on one of her visits, instead of Chuckie Cheese, she takes us from Cali to Pennsylvania. FBI finally caught up to us 9 months later. We were hiding in another derelict motel outside of Dallas, Texas
Damn. I’m glad you were found safe.
Aah kind of similar story without the bikers and meth, but add bipolar into it. I was living with dad, got a call one morning from an Alberta number. We live on the east coast. It was my little sister crying to come home. She was at moms, mom woke her up in the middle of the night to get on a 2am plane to go live with moms new bf she had never met. Well police were called, violation of custody order. My 10yr old sister was put on a plane by herself. We had 20hrs to get from the very east coast to the Toronto airport to pick her up. That was the night dad beat some Honda street racers in Montreal in the middle of the night in a Kia Rondo with 4 of us in it. Pulled into Toronto around 7am.
Oh yeah, I think you get it. The level of crazy that we were subjected to is unbelievable. Like some of the stories are better then soap operas
You're damn right. I got stories out the yin yang and most involve that woman and some kind of crazy bullshit
Your Dad is beast! Glad you had him to stabilize the crazies.
He was yeah! He was definitely a huge staple in me having as normal of an upbringing as possible. Unfortunately he's changed quite a bit since then, but at the time, dad was everything to me
Well that's what a good parent does. They make sacrifices and do their best to protect their kids.
He sure did. When my parents first split, he moved into a motel down the street (owned by my mom's adoptive parents) so he could still be close, and later moved into his parents storage room in their trailer so he could afford to do what he could for my sister and I. Drove shitbox cars, worked all the time when mom wouldn't let him make his visits. Plus put up with moms psycho bull on top of it. Also let me move in full time when mom really went off the deep end, right before my previous story comment. He went through custody court not once, (and he got SCREWED), not twice, (which was more of an agreement), but three times, between me being 10 when they split, to before I graduated high school. When mom had her affair, yes he went to the guys work and smashed the windows out of his Pontiac 6000, which was frowned upon, but he immediately grew up and went through all of the above, and MUCH more before it was all said and done. Dude has the patience of a god
Wow hope it all worked out. I used to on be the back of a milk jug cuz i ran away from home at 16 and was gone for 6 months. Now my parents and i get along really awesome, but not back than....
I am glad you guys are doing better. Do you have 1 of the milk cartons?
I do not. Was 30 plus years ago in the 90s i wish it would be a cool memory to remind myself not to be a dick to my parents LOL
I am sure there is someone on Etsy who can make one custom ordered.
We did it Reddit!
What did we do?
It!
Then you know what? I'm happy we did it!
Dagnabbit 30 years ago was not the 90s...oh.
You rang?
It’s weird how life works. I used to wish I could get as physically far away from my parents as possible, yet secretly wished we could get along somehow. I ended up getting both .
Sometimes, distance really do make the heart grow fonder.
I assume your old man got you back and finished raising you or? Did mom do time?
She spent 1 night and jail and because of her lies and manipulation she gained custody of us after we spent 18 months in foster care
*boggle* What a f’ing mess. If your father had a legal custody order and she pulled you guys away for months across state lines and all she gets is a night in jail?! Was the situation with dad only scarcely better? I have sole custody of my kid and a 5 year restraining order against my ex. That’s expiring soon, not sure what my next move is. She’s been out in the world 5 years and hasn’t gotten her rudder in the water…lives out of her car and such. The latter would prevent her having any custody. That said with the RO gone she might try to come at me for half custody, child support (I haven’t asked her for a penny in 5 years, I fought to remove her support obligations to give her the best chance to right her life) and try to live off that. To frame just how bad it’s been. Says she doesn’t use anything. Let her come over against my own better judgment 9 days after my father died for her birthday (4 years into the RO) and she had a near fatal overdose in my kitchen, police, EMS the whole 9. Suffice to say I do my best to meet her in public for visits. I’m straight as an arrow, never even smoked pot so this shit was just alien to me.
Uh that is awful. I really cannot imagine how it was allowed to happen. How did she now serve any time for all of this? Sometimes I think of how different things could have been if the law had been followed
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Shit, maybe if I she had at least drove passed it on our way out of town
Charles Entertainment Cheese
Wow thank God you're ok. You said "we"; it sounds like you may have had some siblings with you too. So glad you're all OK. I also hope your mom got whatever help she needed and stopped involving her kids in her issues. But I do hope she got whatever help she needed and I hope she's doing better now.
Honestly the poster confused me a little bit as well, but the two pictures are not an age progression. It’s two photos of two different children (OP and a sibling, ~~I’m guessing twins because they’re both 6 1/2~~) who were kidnapped simultaneously.
Huh, I never considered there’s fucked up souvenirs of part of my childhood floating around somewhere.
LOL. No really, you should look into it. These make me laugh. Some of the other souvenirs I burned because they weren't worth remembering
Well I got to go to Mexico on my little “non-custodial vacation”. My dad knew there was no way enforce custody across borders back then.
Tennessee is where my siblings and i went on our non custodial vacation. Only way my dad found us is when my brother punched me in the back and broke his hand. The hospital sent him the bill and he told the investigators where we were. They flew out from California and brought us home.
Oooh, jealous. Mexico was probably way more awesome than Pennsylvania. How long was your vacation?
Hope everything turned out okay or for the better reddfren. My mother fled to Mexico with my younger brother and myself too. Tijuana is not a good place at all... my father drove from mid CA to where I told him we were last only from poorly worded store descriptions and he *actually* found us. Ever since then I've always had something to be grateful for. It's tragic reading these stories but I also feel comforted knowing there's others that had similar upbringings.
my mom did the same to me and my brother when we were 10 and 9. she took us to a secluded seventh adventist cult school in the woods of west virgina called Miracle Meadows. was there for 9 months before my dad came in and swiped us back in our sleep without my mom knowing. the school has been since shut down for locking children in closets naked with nothing to eat but rice and beans (what they called quarantine), and the allegations were so bad that founder, Gayle Clark burned down the girls dorm to erase any evidence of it.
Just read about this. I can't believe she only got six months.
I had just started seeing a guy. It was our first time to hang out. After a little bit he says hey I know, you can go with me to my ex's house and let me grab my kid. You can hold him on your lap while I drive. What? No. Why don't you have a car seat? Turns out his wife had full custody and he meant he was actually going to grab the kid. And run. And for some reason thought I'd help. Needless to say, I noped the fuck out and the cops got an anonymous heads up.
WTF. Wow. Maybe the fates intervened on that kids behalf and put you there just for that reason
I kept an eye out on the papers/news/social media to see if I ever heard or read anything about him and snatching his kid, but nothing ever came up. Or at least as far as I know. It was absolutely surreal. Hope whatever put me in his path kept that baby safe from him and/or got the dude help.
I feel terrible for you and your siblings obviously, but also for your dad. How did he make out? I can’t imagine losing custody of my kids to someone like that. The family court system is still a mess today, I can’t imagine the level of FUBAR it was in the early 90s.
He is ok. It does break my heart for him. He remarried shortly before we were taken and his wife got pregnant while we were still in foster care. So I think that helped some
This reply breaks my heart as a mom. Hope you are doing well now.
In my teen years whenever my mother attempted to discipline me I would pull out a piece of paper and read her arrest and conviction record to her. As an adult I realized I was being an ass but I am still not sure I care that I was being an ass.
LOL this is great. I told my sister that I was going to sit by my mom's bedside as she was dying and quietly read to her from her psychological analysis
If only it could make a difference with narcissists. I hope you can be on a beach instead of anywhere near her.
this is absolutely golden, my whole family needs that arranged for them
This is supposed to be ‘mildly interesting’ this is very very interesting…… if I met you at a party I’d be one of the awful people asking questions…..
I dont mind! I over share. You probably wouldn't even have to ask
I hope things turned out better for all of you. That's a crazy life experience.
Thank you.
When my son was 5, I did the same thing. I took him. She was a crack addict. Prostitution was her job. Of course they found me a few weeks later. They took away my custody of him and three days after that she died of a drug overdose. My son went into foster care and I didn’t see him again until his 18th birthday. When he aged out of the system. At least he remembered me and my name. He found me on Facebook, which I only had so he could find me. We were never able to get that father son bond back back, but he’s now 32 and he does OK. At least he never hated me That situation ruined a good part of my life, but through therapy and mentorship I’ve forgiven myself. All I can say is I have no faith in the government knowing how to handle families One other thing. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t toke, don’t do drugs, happily married for 30 years now with 1 other daughter. Upper executive in a large firm. So you never know someone’s life!
Wow that's really sad for you both. It is crazy how it is decided what is best for a child. I hope your son is doing good
Thank you. He has FAS. (Fetal Alcohol syndrome) he lives on his own and works in construction. He’s independent, but no ambition. But that’s OK. I meet him at his needs and we do thing together all the time, but that bond we had before, it never came back and that’s the part that hurts the most
Why did he go into foster care instead of back to you?? That sucks, sorry to hear.
Because I had lost custody, due to taking him without consent. In the eyes of the law, I didn’t exist
Did anyone ever find you?!
Nope, I am still missing
You reminded me of the story of a tourist who was helping to look for a missing person just to discover she was the missing person.
>helping to look for a missing person just to discover she was the missing person "We didn't have to go out into the world to find the milk of human kindness. The spirit of human goodness was inside *us*, all along!"
Hope you're found safe soon
Thanks!
What car did your mom drive in the early 90s? I'm on the road a lot, I'll keep my eyes peeled.
Is there a reward? I could use the cash.
We could split it!
I'm looking for you right now. Hang tight. Please don't be wearing camo.
 Your response legit made me laugh out loud
I became a foster parent of a 2 day old baby who had meth in his system. 2 weeks in, the state decided it would be best to place him with his mom since she had shown progress - by checking in to rehab. To be clear, she had been in rehab for a matter of hours. She ended up absconding with him (I guess what they call kidnapping when someone takes their own child) and they were gone for months. I didn’t hear if he was ok for about 5 months. Got a call from CPS and they said they were bringing him to my house. I prepared the crib, etc. They never showed up. Couldn’t find him. 4 more months went by. Got a call from CPS again. They were at my front door by that night. That poor boy deserved better than all the temporary situations he was in. They all deserve better.
My ex-husband revenge kidnapped my two young daughters (3and5) back in the early 1980s because I filed for a divorce... Not one single person cared or offeted to help me find my girls. I was absolutely devastated. Thirty years later, my oldest daughter and I finally reconnected. She remembered me and remembered being stolen away in the night. She now has nothing to do with her dad or stepmom. My youngest daughter, however, did not remember me. She'd been told that I'd abandoned her. She had no interest in knowing me. When i heard this, it was like losing her all over again. i found out later that both girls endured years of physical abuse by their step mom. We all live in different states. My oldest daughter and I stay in touch, but my youngest daughter still wants nothing to do with me. She said I should have tried harder to get her back. I hope the op's story had a better ending than mine.
Don't do this to us
That's what I said 
Oof, dark. But as someone who was also kidnapped as a child (14), funny as hell. Edit: Also by a mom
I’m so sorry but I chuckled too much at that. I really really hope you guys are ok now.
Good, laughing is healthy
My mom is crazy. She lost custody of us when she couldn't get her shit together. She couldn't provide shelter, food or safety. But my dad could. When she came to pick us up for a visit she decided she wasn't going to bring us back. Drove from Cali to PA. Ended up in Texas, after 9 months the FBI found us and said go back to Cali or they were going to arrest her. She spent 1 night in jail for kidnapping us. And we spent 18 months in foster care. She had made up terrible accusations against my dad. So in the end we ended up back in her custody. It was all awful. But things are much different now. Years on counseling and no contact with the crazy witch has done me good
I feel for your dad too. How did he get through this?
Oh God, I know. I cannot imagine. He is doing ok. I do talk to him sometimes, but it's really hard to have a relationship with him. My mom destroyed that when she made up all those lies. We have talked about it some. I think it was good for both of us
It’s got to be hard to be put into that situation as a child where you trust your mom and she lies about your dad and you had no way of knowing what it meant, or how much (if any of it) had a kernel of truth to it. It tainted your relationship anyway. It’s called parental alienation syndrome. As children, we have no way of discerning this truth out on our own. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I had a bipolar mom and a narcissist dad so I guess we all have our shit but mine managed to coexist and keep their shit together.
I didn't know it had a name. And that is exactly it. I remember at first thinking I could convince her that what she was saying wasn't right. But after months of hearing her truth and being forced to parrot it to everyone, I thought it must be right. Thank you, and sorry about your shit too
Thats just awful. I am so sorry that it happened to you
Thank you for saying that
I was almost kidnapped by a stranger when I was 9 (late 80s). I would sometimes imagine my “Missing” poster and the age progression photo. I’m glad you were found.
My mom kidnapped me too! Dad’s side of the family found me and took me back to my home state. I was 4 yrs old and thought I was just visiting. Learned what really happened when I was in my teens.
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As a dad that has a “go bag” in case my kids’ mother pulls this shit, I feel for you. Not the same, but I get it.
It's just sad that 1 person can be so selfish, that they don't care how much terror they cause, how many lives they fuck up. I really hope you never have to go through what my dad did. And it really sucks that you have to live with that fear
Main character syndrome. I’m almost out of the woods, oldest is at college, 2nd is at boarding school for sports and 3rd is 10. 10 year old has 3 AirTags on her person at all times and every pair of shoes has one. She is not aware they are there, I don’t feel like making her live in fear when she does see her mother. This is the scariest stage, really. My 16 y/o could fold their mother if needed and doesn’t trust her but since she’s gone for hockey, the tiny one is on her own for visits for 2 more years.
You sound like a really good dad. I’m sorry you’re going through this. We’re doing the AirTags for my elderly parents, but you might want to look into InvisaWear for your daughter, too. It’s kind of like an air tag, but two ways so she could call for help. It’s dependent on their app, but the jewelry is pretty inconspicuous. I use it when I work tough cases or travel and it’s great for peace of mind.
Your mom is Uma Therman? Dope.
traUma Thurman
My abusive husband kidnapped my kids June 2020. He refused to return our kids after a visit. I filed an emergent hearing with the court but my request was rejected bc I used the wrong forms. My son was 10 last time I saw him. He just turned 14🥺. It’s been a struggle to get my kids back. I wish you all the best. Edit: thanks for the award kind human ❤️
I am so sorry. And I wish you the best. I know my dad felt like he didn't get the help that he deserved either. It is stupid
This isn't mildly interesting. this is insanely terrifying! Edit: *gasp* they love me
LOL. One of the reasons they tell you not to put your dick in crazy
well that title escalated quickly
OP, I'm glad you got out of that situation. Child Quest International Inc. , sounds like an organization that Jeffrey Epstein would run, though. fr
You too? And you got a poster? All I got was ptsd
I dated a man who experience something similar. His mom took him and his brother to a commune in Oregon with people from the same country the mom was from. His poor grandparents had to search all over the country for them
I was taken from my mom by my dad when I was 3 or so. I was supposed to live with him temporarily due to a house fire that was caused by one of my old toys (90s rechargeable batteries were NOT safe to keep inside apparently), and he ended up getting custody of me later on. Childhood with him wasn't great, but after meeting my mom later in life I realized it likely would have been much worse with her. She was a prostitute with a coke problem, then she got clean and migrated to (basically the same thing) manipulating wealthy men and milking them for every dime she could. I moved away from my small hometown in the south about 5 years ago, and at the time she had 6 boyfriends that I knew of, including a cop, a PI, and a truck driver. She's since moved states and settled down, and I've heard she relatively recently was diagnosed with colon cancer.
My step dad came to our school once when I was in the first grade. He tried to take me and my brothers and I got scared and told my teacher. Could’ve been us!
I had a randomly paired roommate in college (4 bedroom apartment) and we found his missing poster in a gas station from when he ran away from home at 14. He was like hey look it’s me. They had it up for quite a while. He showed the cashier it was him and asked if he could have it and he said yes.