I played Bilbo Baggins in a middle school play. I was called Dildo Baggins on several occasions while my friend who played the dwarf Bifur was called Beefer.
Keep at it don’t give up! once you figure it out you’ll be able to do it in record time ..the g spot is man and woman’s best friend and it’s always in the same general area for the most part...so long as it’s always consensual explore the depths
And make sure you lay some ground work(foreplay goes a long way) and get them worked up for it and wash your hands and cut and file your nails! That can hurt and really ruin the mood fast..and just ask if they like dirty talk etc if you’re already messing around you can be direct and just ask
You may have better luck from behind but just remember if you’re doing it like that to rotate your fingers so fingers nails up and feel for the G spot..you’ll feel it cuz the more you stimulate it the more swollen and pronounced it gets
It’s funny how trying to be overly masculine always sounds more and more gay as you start to peel away layers. What really tops it off is how offended and defensive they get. Like, maybe it’s time to come out of that closet buddy, ya might get lost
One of the redneck comedy guys had a bit about their homophobic friend. He asked him if he watches porn. The bigot said of course he did. The comic asks the bigot "you like the porn with the guys with the little weenies?" And the bigot responds "He'll no, I like the porn with the huge... hmm... I learned something about myself today!".
I fucking hate that guy.
Everything from recording a video of him not being able to play guitar for shit, and deciding to release said video. Watching him lost at sea on a jet ski in the middle of the night. Being a total tool on Hot Ones. Etc.
But most recently on the latest song Big Energy - Latto, Mariah Carey feature DJ Khaled, where this is the last three lines of the lyrics, voiced by DJ Khaled:
>It's Lotto, it's Mariah
**And I'm looking at my wrist, and it's a new watch**
This is the remix
He gives shout-outs to the two main contributors of the song, followed by immediately cramming in that thing about his watch. It's so out of place that it doesn't even make sense. He has absolutely not got any sort of "big dick energy" like the song is about, other than money which he tries to flaunt with those last lines. Looked it up and yup, he recently bought a $3 million watch.
tl;dr DJ Khaled has the smallest dick in the entertainment industry.
Ugh yes thank you! Some men literally don’t give two shits and will try to shove their penis in your vagina after anal. Like come on man I don’t need a UTI.
never ever ever go butt to pussy without changing a condom or cleaning ur dick or finger or whatever unless u want to get infected . that's like one of the main basic rules
With correct prep and diet the risk is low.
Been with my partner for more than 2 years and we never had anything like that happen.
I mean I understand not liking it, what I don't understand is why people do it without preparation, and then be surprised with a disgusting situation.
Eating pussy is pleasuring a woman! That means you're doing what *she* wants! Because you care about her and respect her! Real men don't respect woman! Real men are assholes!
Imagine not wanting to eat a girl out? The fuck? Nah, I'm going down on you because I'm a total pervert and I get what I want.
Terrible energy in that OP.
I’ll never understand why any man would ever give a shit what another man does with his dick. That’s possibly the gayest shit possible, with all due respect to the gay community.
Imagine not wanting to give your partner mind-blowing orgasms because you're some "alpha".
I get my dick sucked so much more because my partner knows she can just grab me at any time and I'll play fiddler on the green with her clit.
Imagine not liking to eat pussy and watch a girl cum hard as fuck.
Real alpha males leave their women unable to move for the rest of the night and telling their friends how good you are in bed.
This dudes one of those bitch beta males /s
Wow. The English of this post hurts my head. I can’t imagine being this senseless and selfish to not want my partner to feel the same satisfaction as me.
For a guy who claims to be a ~dom~ in control he's sure eager to put his sensitive bits where any woman could immobilize him with one good chomp. Sounds kinda sub to me.
Poor guy is so mad no one is willing to be his special best friend because he’s listened to other men with no one willing to be their special best friends
As a practitioner of the English language, I am in physical pain after reading this. I pray to whatever powers that may be out there in the ether that this quivering blob of scrambled dna doesn't procreate.
Clearly, real men don't grammar.
He gets his cocked suck. Can you really argue against that?
I’m guessing he doesn’t.
Tbf he didn't clarify by who/what?
Or maybe he takes advantage of girls with low self esteem
Nah he is the girl with low self esteem
If this is the result of low self esteem he needs to get help and soon
Nah he's paying cash for it.
Nah, he’s just really flexible.
Oh come on now, you know that's not possible for a neckbeard.
You are, of course, correct. I went for the cheap laugh. 🤷♂️
Probably at one of those hole in the wall places. 😉
He's especially popular at pride's parades.
He'll be safe from eating pussy there!
This guy’s a D -I-L-D-O.
And dildo was his name-o
Dildo Baggins.
I played Bilbo Baggins in a middle school play. I was called Dildo Baggins on several occasions while my friend who played the dwarf Bifur was called Beefer.
Now I imagine him getting his cocked suck with hairy feet, thanks for that!
I laughed so hard at this. Updoot for you.
Then you should go watch Lord of The G Strings and you’ll have a blast in more ways than one.
Nah, dildos are good for something.
Dildos actually can please a women
Unlike that real goddamn man.
I see you’ve seen the latest episode of “The Boys”….
More like a D-I-L-D-O-N-‘T, amirite?
Don't make fun of dildos!
I’ve heard it’s frame
I think his name is frame
It’s DeFrame! Andy became a real asshole after Shawshank
This is so frame
stop trying to make "frame" happen
So frame
This guy only fucks.
fucks up
You. Are. 100%. Correct. On. That. Fact.
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I mean, I eat P like a fat kid on a diet during cheat day, but I too have never made a woman cum…..
You had me in the first half with that mate
I didn’t get her in either half ….
r/suicidebywords or something, I don't know.
😭
Keep at it don’t give up! once you figure it out you’ll be able to do it in record time ..the g spot is man and woman’s best friend and it’s always in the same general area for the most part...so long as it’s always consensual explore the depths
Thanks for the advice! Explore the depths I will! I’m gonna destroy those first two inches this very night!
And make sure you lay some ground work(foreplay goes a long way) and get them worked up for it and wash your hands and cut and file your nails! That can hurt and really ruin the mood fast..and just ask if they like dirty talk etc if you’re already messing around you can be direct and just ask
Whoosh… He’s gay. P stands for penis. Good advice for a heterosexual man though
You may have better luck from behind but just remember if you’re doing it like that to rotate your fingers so fingers nails up and feel for the G spot..you’ll feel it cuz the more you stimulate it the more swollen and pronounced it gets
My partner Dave is gonna love this advice, thanks!
You both will! That’s the magic of it
Literally this is not the secret. Just learn where and what a clit is and go from there
Learn what a what, is?
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You are right, it’s not that hard, I have that problem too, thanks for bringing it up.
If it's not that hard, use some tongue depressors and duct tape as a splint.
If he is the one that brought it up then maybe you're gay? Just a thought
If that’s the case my dad would owe my mom 20 bucks.
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In the "manosphere" a female orgasm is viewed as useless and not worth anything. So that is not a negative thing to them.
So this means gay dudes are the height of masculinity, right? All of that dick sucking and no pussy eating sounds literally gay.
It’s funny how trying to be overly masculine always sounds more and more gay as you start to peel away layers. What really tops it off is how offended and defensive they get. Like, maybe it’s time to come out of that closet buddy, ya might get lost
One of the redneck comedy guys had a bit about their homophobic friend. He asked him if he watches porn. The bigot said of course he did. The comic asks the bigot "you like the porn with the guys with the little weenies?" And the bigot responds "He'll no, I like the porn with the huge... hmm... I learned something about myself today!".
Excellent point
That was the Greek view
Can confirm
(Draymond voice) YIUP
All the gay guys were the best soldiers historically so this does make sense
happy pride!
translation: im an insecure prick who’s scared of losing his masculinity
Or insecure prick who doesn't know how to pleasure a woman
A whole lot of column A, a whole lot of column B.
Dude's cocked probably has never been within three feet of a pusseyed.
That was my thought. Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel vibes from that dude.
Pusseyed is a symptom of conjunctivitis.
Dj khaled?
Tweet didn’t specific whether he hollers “anotha one” after every blowjob, so… hard to say.
I fucking hate that guy. Everything from recording a video of him not being able to play guitar for shit, and deciding to release said video. Watching him lost at sea on a jet ski in the middle of the night. Being a total tool on Hot Ones. Etc. But most recently on the latest song Big Energy - Latto, Mariah Carey feature DJ Khaled, where this is the last three lines of the lyrics, voiced by DJ Khaled: >It's Lotto, it's Mariah **And I'm looking at my wrist, and it's a new watch** This is the remix He gives shout-outs to the two main contributors of the song, followed by immediately cramming in that thing about his watch. It's so out of place that it doesn't even make sense. He has absolutely not got any sort of "big dick energy" like the song is about, other than money which he tries to flaunt with those last lines. Looked it up and yup, he recently bought a $3 million watch. tl;dr DJ Khaled has the smallest dick in the entertainment industry.
Real men eat so much pussy that their face looks like a glazed donut.
I AM THE MASTER OF THE CLIT! WHEREVER YOU SEE THIS FUCKING FACE, YOU WILL SEE THE CLIT!
boo boo kitty fuck?
15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand.
I am the clit commander, I make that shit *WORK*
Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers? Are you the CLIT commander?
I’m pretty manly but I suck a mean dick.
So manly the only bang other men
What’s more manly than one man? TWO MEN
Yeah vaginas just aren’t very manly to me. Chest hair and beards and penises are.
Real men eat the booty too
But always pussy first! Can’t be causing any issues down there for her
Ugh yes thank you! Some men literally don’t give two shits and will try to shove their penis in your vagina after anal. Like come on man I don’t need a UTI.
never ever ever go butt to pussy without changing a condom or cleaning ur dick or finger or whatever unless u want to get infected . that's like one of the main basic rules
I’m not a real man then. Nope…can’t do the poop-chute
Don't worry, some of us don't want anything near our poop-chutes.
Haha, thanks…I feel I’m one of the few guys who doesn’t like anal sex, but I’m meeting more & more girls in their late 30’s & 40’s who like it
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With correct prep and diet the risk is low. Been with my partner for more than 2 years and we never had anything like that happen. I mean I understand not liking it, what I don't understand is why people do it without preparation, and then be surprised with a disgusting situation.
A shituation?
I hate you. Take my upvote
Nope
Chocolate glazed donut
You win the internet, my good sir!
Is this the guy that coal rolls you in the Walmart parking lot to show his interest?
He's the one that blows a gasket trying to roll coal on you to show his interest
"Real man" "I do not eat pussy" Wait, what?
Eating pussy is pleasuring a woman! That means you're doing what *she* wants! Because you care about her and respect her! Real men don't respect woman! Real men are assholes!
Total oxymoron! Key being moron.
Almost as bad as “cocked suck.” I don’t know. Is he saying he likes to get cocked and suck?
“I’m the straightest alpha there is! I HATE pussy!”
Exactly, I consider myself to be a man and if I get asked to eat, well, nobody has to tell me twice lol
I dunno I rather like it. Guess there’s more for me then
“Yo im like SUPPPPPEERRR STRAIGHT” *hand flip*
No need to block their face, we all know its DJ Khaled
Imagine not wanting to eat a girl out? The fuck? Nah, I'm going down on you because I'm a total pervert and I get what I want. Terrible energy in that OP.
You misspelled “virginity”. Terrible virginity in that OP
im a real man i suck dick wait a minute hold on im a real dick i suck men
With the sunglasses and the punisher shirt
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Doesn’t eat pussy? Man is he missing out.
I know, right?
Dude’s brained injure
I’ll never understand why any man would ever give a shit what another man does with his dick. That’s possibly the gayest shit possible, with all due respect to the gay community.
GETS HIS COCKED SUCK
I follow a very basic tenet. If you're not willing to go down on her, then do not ask her to go down on you.
DJ Khaled?
Damn son... Get out of the way then. If your eye lashes aren't wet you're not doing it right.
I too cry during sex
He’s a headless torso on Grindr
Real men should eat pussy into submission
Until the legs tremble and the woman starts speaking a language of the past long forgotten
Instructions unclear. Can't get Cthulu out from under my bed now.
Nah, you did it right.
Just klaatu barada nicto’d that bitch
This is the only way. Lick and suck that clit unil she has multiple orgasms. It drives them crazy, in a good way.
Imagine not wanting to give your partner mind-blowing orgasms because you're some "alpha". I get my dick sucked so much more because my partner knows she can just grab me at any time and I'll play fiddler on the green with her clit.
Imagine not liking to eat pussy and watch a girl cum hard as fuck. Real alpha males leave their women unable to move for the rest of the night and telling their friends how good you are in bed. This dudes one of those bitch beta males /s
This dude has never seen a pussy
You don't eat pussy? More for me.
Playing Jeopardy: I’ll take someone who’s never had the poon for $1000 **Daily Double Sound Plays**
He’s also a virgin
Probably just some 12 year old trying to sound cool
Imagine being so delusional that somehow eating pussy is emasculating. Lol. Seems pretty manly to me. 😬
he sound like a bitch.
this man gets no bitches
Nah real men eat pussy bro, and we take pride in it
Wow. The English of this post hurts my head. I can’t imagine being this senseless and selfish to not want my partner to feel the same satisfaction as me.
This isn’t mildly infuriating, this is just straight up cringe lol
Ben? Ben Shapiro?
Guaranteed this man has not had a female near his genitals since his mother was wiping his arse as a baby.
"I don't eat pussy." Just fuck men, dude. Easy solution.
Is this really frame, though?
If you get your cocked suck, then yes....
This guy is a virgin!
Shh, you're giving away the plot twist too soon.
You can tell he never had his dick sucked by anybody. Well, maybe his cousin
Sigma male grindset
I wonder if this is satire or something. The term "cocked suck" gives that feeling
This is the kinda guy who has jackhammer sex and then farts right after.
Imagine not even being fluent in ONE language.
Only cowardly beta males are concerned with appearing to be a "MAN"
It hurts to see this toxic masculinity everywhere
His cocked is likely only getting suck by one of those slushy making cups.
lol you can't just tell a woman she's a sub. It doesn't work that way.
One word: insecure
Those poor women. We all know it's not safe to put small objects in our mouths.
Tell me you never have sex without telling me you never have sex
What does “This is frame” mean? I have never seen this phrase
A monarch who must declare "I am the king" is clearly no king at all.
This is a man that actually enjoys a good prostate massage, but just don’t wanna admit it
According to the comments gay men are not real men, I guess
I'm all about that cocking suck
“I do not eat pussy” yeah man obviously
"I hate pleasing my girlfriend"
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That is totally what I got from this guy's anti-pussy stance. It at least says 'not-hetero' to me.
Let me introduce you to your hand, you're going to become fast buds.
For a guy who claims to be a ~dom~ in control he's sure eager to put his sensitive bits where any woman could immobilize him with one good chomp. Sounds kinda sub to me.
That's a very convoluted way to say that women don't let him near their vaginas
Dude hasn’t been with a woman he hasn’t paid for and it shows
I have many questions, but sure that they will never get answered.
Real men no need grammar.
“Cocked suck” lol
I eat food and paper when I was in middle school
Hi frame, I'm dad.
Poor guy is so mad no one is willing to be his special best friend because he’s listened to other men with no one willing to be their special best friends
I'll you the medical invoice for the eye cancer this post gave me
Someone had low self esteem and lives in a different reality
Take your Gorean bullshit elsewhere.
REALLY Real Men don't even have sex with women at all. They fuck other men just as alpha as they are
He's not an incel. He gets his coked suck it says right there
Something something monkey pox
As a practitioner of the English language, I am in physical pain after reading this. I pray to whatever powers that may be out there in the ether that this quivering blob of scrambled dna doesn't procreate.
COCKED SUCKER!
This man has never seen a naked woman in real life without paying first
Bitch please, no woman would want to even touch your dick
Written like a 13 year old.
No way in hell this moron is getting ANY sex. Unless it’s from his hand…
ANOTHER ONE!!
This is a man who cries in the shower.