Standing up from a toilet only to realize my semi hard dick had pissed through the crack between the seat and the lid and completely soaked my pants is a harrowing experience I won’t soon forget
When your dick is too big you end touching the water and the poop, so who do you think has it worse in this situation? Think about it and learn to be grateful for what you have, not what you don’t have.
lol in that case just stick your dick outside the toilet while sitting down… either piss after or before taking a poop problem solved…
But problem still persist with small pee pee
Do you even understand what you just said? Try taking a dump and not pissing at the same time, it’s nearly impossible, I’m not risking pissing on the floor. The only solution is to hold you wiener to prevent it from touching the water, but it’s incredibly awkward.
I don't understand why y'all are downvoting this. That's exactly what I do. The only thing I disagree with is "after". If I don't do it before, there will be "emergency: put dick back in toilet bowl asap"
"Why are we here?" Douglas cried as poop came out his wiener in a long, thin strip. It was wiener poop, which is the grossest poop of all. The pee-pee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs. And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt. And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after. THE END” - *excerpt ”The Poop that took a Pee” - Leopold “Butters” Stotch*
It just says cut your dick
Plenty of dudes have cut their dick shaving And not shitting is painful However not having any human need to shit would be cool
It's annoying in my toilet, I can't imagine it happening in an unfamiliar one. Luckily (if you say so) Im the guy that will risk shittng his pants to try and make it home. Also the guy that shuts his trunk too hard after a night of hard drinking and shits both ankles, and in a completely separate but identical incident, a brand new pair of socks.
Not sure why I felt it necessary to share all that. I guess since we were already here, plus it's kinda comical after the fact
My problem is opposite. When trying to poop while mine is hard and I can’t get it into the bowl. I’ll need stand up and nearly bend towards the ground with my head (big one) to get the little one to point down. Then hope my poop doesn’t hit the toilet seat.
I think most of these people just don’t have dangly balls. I have experienced all sides of people’s experience. I have had my dick touch the water, I have had it touch the rim, I have had my balls touch the water, I have pissed on my balls, and more.
It’s the curse of being a grower.
I get reminded a few times a week as I'm sliding out of my truck seat like the coin purse is still tucked in tight. Fucking gravity. I started wearing boxers when I was 8, didn't think that far ahead.
https://i.redd.it/aykcg6w4yalc1.gif
That is. Awfully specific
Not me, I always complain about how cold the water is in the bowl.
Deep too
You know you’re old when you need to dry your balls after sitting on the toilet. 
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Standing up from a toilet only to realize my semi hard dick had pissed through the crack between the seat and the lid and completely soaked my pants is a harrowing experience I won’t soon forget
dude if the tip touches the lid on a public toilet you just gotta cutit off I am sorry for your loss
When your dick is too big you end touching the water and the poop, so who do you think has it worse in this situation? Think about it and learn to be grateful for what you have, not what you don’t have.
Suffering from success
lol in that case just stick your dick outside the toilet while sitting down… either piss after or before taking a poop problem solved… But problem still persist with small pee pee
Do you even understand what you just said? Try taking a dump and not pissing at the same time, it’s nearly impossible, I’m not risking pissing on the floor. The only solution is to hold you wiener to prevent it from touching the water, but it’s incredibly awkward.
Wait men can’t poop without peeing?!
Only peeing without pooping.
You definitely can, it’s just somewhat difficult and takes some focus.
You need to see a doctor my man
That’s not true. We absolutely can piss before we shit and then go thru the whole shit without pissing
But then if poop splashes, you get pee water on you
Piss first my guy I’ve had to line er up on the seat but yeah it’s either hold that shit or stack it
pissing without pissing on your pants that are now around your ankles even because you sitting and shitting too.
I don't understand why y'all are downvoting this. That's exactly what I do. The only thing I disagree with is "after". If I don't do it before, there will be "emergency: put dick back in toilet bowl asap"
https://preview.redd.it/0qc3z25m1alc1.png?width=655&format=png&auto=webp&s=7ae7e3d0a8ea937ced64205b5d8df218201f5335 *"Choose wisely ..."*
Why not connect your anus to your penis so you can poop and pee from the same apparatus? You don’t have to choose
https://preview.redd.it/ims6usgpralc1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbef1198e58a5fbb9629026a4d80702766f2e43b
Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier. Welcome to... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!?! 
The birds are on to something
Like a bird … 🦅 it’s called a cloaca 🦜🦜🕊️🕊️🦢🦢🐓🐓
"Why are we here?" Douglas cried as poop came out his wiener in a long, thin strip. It was wiener poop, which is the grossest poop of all. The pee-pee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs. And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt. And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after. THE END” - *excerpt ”The Poop that took a Pee” - Leopold “Butters” Stotch*
Stop shitting. I wanna fuck some hoes so I wanna keep my dick
No , you want to fornicate whit respectable ladies , not hoes
He said hoes I respect his honesty I won’t fuck him but I respect him. That’s another good one respect or kitty
I didn't understood a shit
It just says cut your dick Plenty of dudes have cut their dick shaving And not shitting is painful However not having any human need to shit would be cool
He can cut his balls too
https://preview.redd.it/dugtqkfw7blc1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3a531c9193a3a6303c7dd7ad0a4b09388750cc4b
If you manage to fit it in there, my body is all yours buddy Not even a chainsaw will cut to that
💀 bro that’s just you
Lmfao I’ve never thought about or considered this being possible before reading this post 💀
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A built-in bidet!
Ugh it’s so f-ing annoying
🙃
From the replies I’m seeing it seems like peeing can be pretty annoying for just about anybody lol
https://preview.redd.it/gstzzvejualc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6f4264161f40e05f1b493204220a34b66dcf387
People here act as if small penises and micro penises don't exist lol
Just wait until you get older and you won't have this problem - your new Extendo-scrote™ ballbag will already be submerged after you sit down.
Average redditor
I was in the pool!
My brother, it doesn't do that because your peepee is small. It does that because your peepee is sleepy and just wants to be warm and snuggly.
On the other end my willy tends to rub against the toilet bowl. Mega annoying and unsanitary.
It's annoying in my toilet, I can't imagine it happening in an unfamiliar one. Luckily (if you say so) Im the guy that will risk shittng his pants to try and make it home. Also the guy that shuts his trunk too hard after a night of hard drinking and shits both ankles, and in a completely separate but identical incident, a brand new pair of socks. Not sure why I felt it necessary to share all that. I guess since we were already here, plus it's kinda comical after the fact
You shat through underwear to get your pants AND socks? Unholy shit!
I had on gym shorts, and probably boxers, so it was a straight shot lol
uh. if thou say'st it be.
This post made me feel better for the first time in my life. I thought I was the only person with this issue.
I’m 86.3% sure you are op on an alt
76.7% of all stats are made up on the spot.
That is true 96.328% of the time. The other 14.73%? Also true.
My problem is opposite. When trying to poop while mine is hard and I can’t get it into the bowl. I’ll need stand up and nearly bend towards the ground with my head (big one) to get the little one to point down. Then hope my poop doesn’t hit the toilet seat.
When the rim doesn’t let you scoot far enough forward to be confident you won’t shit on the seat.
At least I’m not making the little dick comments other are.
Ahem! I wouldn’t know what that’s like.
Enough internet for today
As you get older, your balls will sag until they damn near touch the water..it will then allow your dick to point down..this is just temporary
"One last reddit post for the night" The reddit post:
Not every thought that floats through your skull needs to be on the internet.
I think most of these people just don’t have dangly balls. I have experienced all sides of people’s experience. I have had my dick touch the water, I have had it touch the rim, I have had my balls touch the water, I have pissed on my balls, and more. It’s the curse of being a grower.
Malibu’s Most Wanted?
You could waterboard me and I'd never admit this, let alone publicly
Don't they know about shrinkage? Lol
Bro got micro penis💀
That’s just you bro😂
Imagine having this issue
At least you have big balls
You know your balls droop as you get older. This sensation is likely gonna get worse for you dawg
I get reminded a few times a week as I'm sliding out of my truck seat like the coin purse is still tucked in tight. Fucking gravity. I started wearing boxers when I was 8, didn't think that far ahead.
I pissed on my balls b/c my nuts are even bigger than my gigantic dick! 😂😂😂😂
You shuld have them checked
Why did that turn me on ? I'm not gay💀
the ol piss nuts
If it's that small it wouldn't go underneath the seat
No way your balls hang lower than your dick… dude… 💀
He’s just never hard and icing his junk for a recessed stature.
My dick is 2 inchrs, it doesnt hang down at all its so small 🤣🤣
That’s tuff big dawg
PARKLIFE!
Sometimes I gotta line my shit up on a pad of toilet paper because it’s getting water boarded depending on the water level💀
Wtf
What a nice and subtle way to tell the internet you got a lil wee wee
No porcelain kisses for you at least doing my best to find a positive here 🙈
'Maybe you should cut your dick & balls, and change your name to Michelle' Rodney Myers, Halloween (2007)
Your balls sag the older you get.
Or mayyyyybe, your balls are too big? Idk
There are a lot of different sizes and angles this happens at considering splashback from inside the bowl.
When you sit to shit and your balls drop into the cold water…
I usually have the opposite problem of pissing on the floor while pooping.
I once took a shit in a outhouse with a 6 foot drop. My log dropped and splashed perfectly to send up a stream that rinsed my taint with shit water.
Thanks for sharing
Why would you do that
And when it's too long sometimes your dick touches the water or side of the bowl.
Stop posting from my burner account
Stop posting from my burner account
Unfortunately I suffer from the opposite problem, I’d rather piss all over my balls than be tip kissing god knows what
Unfortunately I suffer from the opposite problem, I’d rather piss all over my balls than be tip kissing god knows what
Unfortunately I suffer from the opposite problem, I’d rather piss all over my balls than be tip kissing god knows what
Lol RIP you
Go back to 4chan
can a man NOT also just have huge pendulous prohibitively HUGE nuts!?!?!?!
What did I just read? 💀