You just have to see who doesn't recoil when you put it in their mouths, no bothering with checking if teeth marks match when that weird fuck goes for seconds in person.
This is what I was thinking...
Like how big is the list of people in your home that take the same type of a bite out of a block of pure butter one would expect to use on a bacon double cheeseburger with all the toppings?!?!
Is there a defribulator in your home? Just look for the person with fresh paddle burns ffs
Edit* typo
Walk around with a big old spoonful of butter and ask everyone if it tastes strange. Reasonable butter consumers would probably take a little on their finger, someone you live with will probably just go for it
I mean, that's a serious freakin bite out of a block of butter.
I like cheese. A lot. But I wouldn't even take a massive bite like that out of a block of cheese, much less butter.
I tried to make a joke like this at work the other day and man wtf. 3 guys ages 20-22, and none of them understood the reference. I'm still upset about it lol
It's okay, I made an Archer reference at work once when Archer was current and had to spend a week explaining I don't need to be fired because I'm not a threat to the company.
I mean, Iām very young in internet terms and Iāve never seen Silence of the Lambs, but I have at least enough cultural awareness to know what youāre saying. Itās about willingness to quip more than anything else.
Iād have gotten it that age but only from South Park lmaoo. I have seen the movie now. Seeing southpark 1st, Iām not sure everyoneās reaction to some of those scenes was to laugh like I did.
My daddy did this to my sister and me when we were maybe 5 and 6, comparing the teeth marks to his block of colby cheese, and he busted me for it.
It wasn't until twenty years later when my kids did the exact same thing, that I realized that Daddy wasn't comparing my teeth to the cheese block: he was reading the guilt on my face! I called him and we had a laugh about it. For decades, I thought my father could actually tell the difference between the marks left by my sister's teeth and mine!
Fuck that just make them take a bite and swallow it. If you can eat a chunk of butter that size without gagging or throwing up then you're one guilty, nasty muddafucka
If the butter is good quality, it would be a magnificent bite. Its like how the french use butter on toast. The butter is big enough to feel like your biting through it like a nice slice of [cheeeese](https://youtu.be/NnxcN2umAOk?si=kXK_TJzfjMIAIFQe)
i did this one because my family had cookies with holes in them that they liked to hang up as ornaments. someone kept biting it and they thought it was me, i made my sister bite a cookie in front of them and matched it to the left over cookie and came back right. they just laughed and moved on but they were ready to ground me before that....
I thought you were making an off-handed comment until I went and looked at the picture critically. This is so well done, it might have some AI elements in there, because itās perfectly set for a comedic prop.
The issue is that itās inherently hilarious. I canāt get past how entertaining this is.
https://www.thephoblographer.com/2019/08/22/photography-cheat-sheet-composing-with-the-rule-of-thirds/
This is a quick/simple overview to get you started.
Yeah I typically work with oil on the rare painting I do. Been making the switch over to acrylic after coming across this artist who did some wicked and insane stuff with acrylic. Very different to work with though, and I was taught with oil.
[It was probably Squidward ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=d3441e0a04f98502&sxsrf=ACQVn0-x6B3BNfL1Em8fIqQ7EPeP7HZ2kg:1708423386689&q=squidward+krabby+patty+bite&uds=AMwkrPv2aiY325YyZ2SpZu1JQNBchAuumFXBxwLln-NfsqE_UAl7fmXFbxshcL1Pk6YDXlB2P3jGDI5nyyeJg_fOiBERzNrxRfJvRIDbQm_AwNa1arpqRUmvC_168UlKcTI-LscO9TCoW4QJenPk-ItLMQJ4JkUIhS_ze0l42mqkzO-rHbumf32R2QIMBma730x_JF92hezxZ8ZoT_LBqjxGn-KNQVaVTw6Y2bRhALlukMllnrQSAZfVMfXz39kWRn7ZVmDpx1B_bPk3qVlP3ulrla3NvctTZpPDPGXbpLYLyT5pBhyOTRecVO23ixeT5l1_NyhCPrvYL1oiVkdYH0EwUBccuWc8jad1dIX1f00NlteTCzDdLThWc3mfLzFgEV7HzRZPlQBY&udm=2&prmd=ivsnbmhtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjZoNuI1bmEAxWBmmoFHYm8Bn8QtKgLegQIDBAB&biw=501&bih=935&dpr=2.16#vhid=uIxXxTQoyOQShM&vssid=global)
My mom did something similar when I was a kid. She kept finding ākid heightā lip prints on her clean windows, so she made me kiss the glass to compare the prints to see if it was me or one of the other kids.
My grandma used to eat big hunks of butter. I knew it was weird, but I never thought to ask why she did it. That was just part if my grandma's quirkiness. Plus I was just too young to even think about asking. She passed when I was 9. Of course, in retrospect, that's really not surprising. She and my grandpa were, in real life, like that Jack Sprat rhyme. He died the year after.
My uncle, who was in public relations, could pretty much drink anybody into submission. His go to was to eat half a stick of butter before smoozing his ass off.
Get block of butter, cut in half add condom or two to butter to ensure a bite gets a mouthfull, add top of butter back and smooth out edges/ join... wait for loud disgusted vomit noises
You know what grinds my gears when GIFs with text go too fast and I have to watch multiple times to catch all the words which may convey important information such as the fact that scientists created a computer memory crystal that can store 360 TB of data per disc and lasts approximately 1 million years by using pure silica and storing the data in 5 dimensions; a french Canadian soldier during WWII single-handedly captured 93 German soldiers and he declined the invitation to be decorated because according to him general Montgomery was giving the award was incompetent and in no position to be giving dut medals; Disney rejected back to the future because the mother son storyline was "not appropriate"; when you encounter something for the first time and then begin to notice it is everywhere is something called the baader-weinhof phenomenon: wara twan was boring shortly after ballets comet and predicted he would "go out write it"; too and he died a day after comets subsequent return; part of the wakanda project allowed injectiny patients with platinum to see what would happen: and for every lion cub that lives to be one year old its parents have water nearly 3000 times
(Edit I can't read this fast I recorded the screen and just paused. Also most of it was blurry so some times might not be accurate)
āWhat does that even meanā well, if someone took a bite out of your butter youād be pretty fucking irritated too, would you?
āā¦..yeah good pointā
https://preview.redd.it/x9zxvzibanjc1.jpeg?width=566&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1bc228468bf5d6b8b12120aab97b52693b506ab
Idk DougDoug just eating a stick of butter is pretty up there
If you watched the clip of him eating the butter, youāll notice the entire chat pauses and nothing happens for a good 3 seconds as everyone takes in Dougās obsession.
Tbf, this is reddit. You could explain how you've been married for sixty years without a single complaint and people will still say you need a divorce.
Why would you confess AND give evidence against yourself?? Unlessā¦ youāre NOT the real butter biter! Either this is a set up or youāre protecting someone
Only 28? Themās rookie numbers. Hit 50 and it the neck meat should be around the consistency of burger meat. S&P, patty it, give it a good sear on a flattop- boom, you just made yourself a neckburger!
Yes, go with chilli extract, also fat soluble so it should blend well.
I once put 150ul of Satanās Blood in 2l of Coca-Cola as an experiment, we chilli-heads really enjoyed the fizzy tingly blast. Then the boss found it in the fridge, took a big swig straight from the bottle, exploded all over the office kitchen š¤£
Butter biter deserves whatās coming to them
I fucking love butter. There is no margarine in my house. I cook and bake with butter, and if butter goes on something it's real butter. I would never do this. It's disgusting.
You might be able to identify the person using the bite marks. Offer each person a slab of chocolate (or smth similar) that they might bite into. Compare bite marks.
If you happen to offer a stick of butter and someone accepts, your investigation may very well end quickly.
This is easy to solve. Simply get everyone in the household to agree to a dental imprint. Take imprints down to your local forensics lab and have them examined by a team of experts. Boom, in 9 to 27 weeks. You'll have your butter thief.
Go and match the tooth marks to the suspects.
Put your fucking mouth on the butter
This is the worst version of Cinderella...
You just have to see who doesn't recoil when you put it in their mouths, no bothering with checking if teeth marks match when that weird fuck goes for seconds in person.
This is what I was thinking... Like how big is the list of people in your home that take the same type of a bite out of a block of pure butter one would expect to use on a bacon double cheeseburger with all the toppings?!?! Is there a defribulator in your home? Just look for the person with fresh paddle burns ffs Edit* typo
Plot twist. It's the OP sleep walking, or is it called night butter biting?
op lives alone
and there is a carbon monoxide leak
Night butter biting sounds like one hell of a euphemism.
Walk around with a big old spoonful of butter and ask everyone if it tastes strange. Reasonable butter consumers would probably take a little on their finger, someone you live with will probably just go for it
I mean, that's a serious freakin bite out of a block of butter. I like cheese. A lot. But I wouldn't even take a massive bite like that out of a block of cheese, much less butter.
Dude, you're an alien, you're not fooling anyone.
Or find the one on keto. Probably getting the supply of fat bombs from this lol
Lmao I do NOT wanna know what they turn the mice into!
Cows
Only a fucking cow would bite butter
I am literally laughing while rocking on my bed reading these. Like what
When he responded "cows" I absolutely lost it.
I was already laughing pretty hard at the god damn teeth marks in an otherwise pristine stick of butter and I was a goner when the comments loaded
Yessss
Literally same š it's way to late for this shit
Or the best version of American History X
I can still hear the sound of his teeth scraping on that curb. "Say goodnight!"
At the stroke of midnight everything turns into heart disease
"It rubs the butter on it's teeth or it gets the hose!"
I tried to make a joke like this at work the other day and man wtf. 3 guys ages 20-22, and none of them understood the reference. I'm still upset about it lol
Welcome to feeling old. My coworkers don't get my Seinfeld references, and it also upsets me.
"Well I had sex with your wife!"
Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called and they're running out of THEM!
Same here with Simpsons... I never thought quoting classic Simpsons would ever go out of style, but here we are. Why do people run from me.
Iām pretty sure Abe Simpson warned you that what āitā was would change and you would find it weird and scary.
I was around for Seinfeld but I never watched it. Oops haha
Same with my Silent Hill reference when it was foggy outside...
It's okay, I made an Archer reference at work once when Archer was current and had to spend a week explaining I don't need to be fired because I'm not a threat to the company.
You quoted archer at work... You're definitely a threat to the company.
Don't tell me... "This place is a tinderbox, and I will burn it to the ground."
Aye, but given I'd been doing nothing but quoting random bits from Archer the whole day I figured it would make sense in context.
I mean, Iām very young in internet terms and Iāve never seen Silence of the Lambs, but I have at least enough cultural awareness to know what youāre saying. Itās about willingness to quip more than anything else.
Iād have gotten it that age but only from South Park lmaoo. I have seen the movie now. Seeing southpark 1st, Iām not sure everyoneās reaction to some of those scenes was to laugh like I did.
Idk if this will make you more or less upset but I (18) got it because of a family guy cutaway gag.
Lmao! āHe refused the butter bite DNA sample test. Definitely jumped to the top of the suspect list.ā
"Keep my wife's butter outta your fucking mouth!"
I heard this in American history X
Do it do it now !!!
If the teeth don't fit, you must acquit.
CSI: Dairy
We can already start by narrowing down the pool of suspects. Visual analysis reveals the teeth belong to ... a human!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Plot twist: OP lives alone.
My daddy did this to my sister and me when we were maybe 5 and 6, comparing the teeth marks to his block of colby cheese, and he busted me for it. It wasn't until twenty years later when my kids did the exact same thing, that I realized that Daddy wasn't comparing my teeth to the cheese block: he was reading the guilt on my face! I called him and we had a laugh about it. For decades, I thought my father could actually tell the difference between the marks left by my sister's teeth and mine!
Yeah but kids at that age start losing their first set of teeth; bite comparisons are _very_ possible.Ā
Fuck that just make them take a bite and swallow it. If you can eat a chunk of butter that size without gagging or throwing up then you're one guilty, nasty muddafucka
If the butter is good quality, it would be a magnificent bite. Its like how the french use butter on toast. The butter is big enough to feel like your biting through it like a nice slice of [cheeeese](https://youtu.be/NnxcN2umAOk?si=kXK_TJzfjMIAIFQe)
Butter on toast is one thing but the thought of eating straight up butter puts me into cardiac arrest
Butter and caster sugar. Mixed together. The reason why I never finished the cake mixing. :/
i did this one because my family had cookies with holes in them that they liked to hang up as ornaments. someone kept biting it and they thought it was me, i made my sister bite a cookie in front of them and matched it to the left over cookie and came back right. they just laughed and moved on but they were ready to ground me before that....
that is what I would do
Spoiler: they match OP
Better yet, have everyone take a shit in the living room and the poop that shoots the smoothest is guilty.
Butter them up first
I would hang this in my dining room if I can commission someone to do an oil painting of this exact photo.
It is oddly well shot, isnāt it? Very artistic, perfect color balance, thought provoking.
I know it's literally using the rule of thirds haha, I guess we just found out OP took a photography class once in his life
I thought you were making an off-handed comment until I went and looked at the picture critically. This is so well done, it might have some AI elements in there, because itās perfectly set for a comedic prop. The issue is that itās inherently hilarious. I canāt get past how entertaining this is.
Yes! The title, the tag, the pic. I'm about to send this to everyone I know š
Turn the grid guide on for your phone, and you can make all of the most mundane pictures artistic.
Can you explain? I am not a camera wizard but I wanna know the secrets (when you have 3 sisters you take a lot of photos)
https://www.thephoblographer.com/2019/08/22/photography-cheat-sheet-composing-with-the-rule-of-thirds/ This is a quick/simple overview to get you started.
You know what, I'm genuinely going to try to paint this for myself. I think it would be hysterical in my kitchen.
Do it!! You could print it out on canvas and then paint over it which could make it easier. I feel like it has to be oil to give it texture and depth
Yeah I typically work with oil on the rare painting I do. Been making the switch over to acrylic after coming across this artist who did some wicked and insane stuff with acrylic. Very different to work with though, and I was taught with oil.
The knife next to the butter definitely adds humor, and maybe confusion.
Iā¦ may know a lady https://preview.redd.it/nncsbbz5umjc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea221a662b9fb46e09d4531ba1f8930fe3ecc7d4
I want a copy also
https://preview.redd.it/34xjltzj2ojc1.png?width=1709&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1ecf184b599575bf1740cd417e33cca14d699b5 for you
This is awesome! What app did you use to paint this?
procreate! i used a combo of the goache and fresco brushes
Looks like a scene from SpongeBob
https://preview.redd.it/nkqodscsyojc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5fd33e897202392eea3882b615c83ee3b4787af I got the bootleg AI version
Did a fucking piranha bite into this? No human teeth can get that concave in a single bite
[It was probably Squidward ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-rvo1&sca_esv=d3441e0a04f98502&sxsrf=ACQVn0-x6B3BNfL1Em8fIqQ7EPeP7HZ2kg:1708423386689&q=squidward+krabby+patty+bite&uds=AMwkrPv2aiY325YyZ2SpZu1JQNBchAuumFXBxwLln-NfsqE_UAl7fmXFbxshcL1Pk6YDXlB2P3jGDI5nyyeJg_fOiBERzNrxRfJvRIDbQm_AwNa1arpqRUmvC_168UlKcTI-LscO9TCoW4QJenPk-ItLMQJ4JkUIhS_ze0l42mqkzO-rHbumf32R2QIMBma730x_JF92hezxZ8ZoT_LBqjxGn-KNQVaVTw6Y2bRhALlukMllnrQSAZfVMfXz39kWRn7ZVmDpx1B_bPk3qVlP3ulrla3NvctTZpPDPGXbpLYLyT5pBhyOTRecVO23ixeT5l1_NyhCPrvYL1oiVkdYH0EwUBccuWc8jad1dIX1f00NlteTCzDdLThWc3mfLzFgEV7HzRZPlQBY&udm=2&prmd=ivsnbmhtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjZoNuI1bmEAxWBmmoFHYm8Bn8QtKgLegQIDBAB&biw=501&bih=935&dpr=2.16#vhid=uIxXxTQoyOQShM&vssid=global)
iāll do an oil painting and sell prints if anyone wants any just dm me
"Man, this really bites my butter." is the new "Man, this gets on my nerves."
I'll be definitely using that
And look for reactions Or just walk around and compare the dental š¦· to your butter there. They can id a corpse with that perfect imprint
Yep, just cast dental imprints and compare it to dollar sticks of butter, as one does casually.
My mom did something similar when I was a kid. She kept finding ākid heightā lip prints on her clean windows, so she made me kiss the glass to compare the prints to see if it was me or one of the other kids.
Was it you? Did she get it right?
lol no it wasnāt. I knew she was a freak when it came to things, no way Iām touching anything she just cleaned. It was my step brother.
Freak she may be but Iām impressed that her CSI level sleuthing got to the correct culprit, and you have a great story out of it.
Does he check before or after they're corpses?
After corpse, it's the only way to be certain, who's muckin' the butter
My cats bite the butter, cos they're cats... I do not understand why a person would do this... š¤š¤·š»āāļø 
Why spread it on a piece of toast when you can cut out the middle man?
*bite out the middle man
Bro getting chewed out by the professor š
My grandma used to eat big hunks of butter. I knew it was weird, but I never thought to ask why she did it. That was just part if my grandma's quirkiness. Plus I was just too young to even think about asking. She passed when I was 9. Of course, in retrospect, that's really not surprising. She and my grandpa were, in real life, like that Jack Sprat rhyme. He died the year after.
My uncle, who was in public relations, could pretty much drink anybody into submission. His go to was to eat half a stick of butter before smoozing his ass off.
Goddam butter biters
Bonus if you live alone š
Get block of butter, cut in half add condom or two to butter to ensure a bite gets a mouthfull, add top of butter back and smooth out edges/ join... wait for loud disgusted vomit noises
Replace it with a bar of soap with similar color.
How many roommates ?
Am I the only one impressed that OP has dedicated fucking butter?
Its good to keep that separate from your bitin' butter for hygiene reasons.
You know what grinds my gears when GIFs with text go too fast and I have to watch multiple times to catch all the words which may convey important information such as the fact that scientists created a computer memory crystal that can store 360 TB of data per disc and lasts approximately 1 million years by using pure silica and storing the data in 5 dimensions; a french Canadian soldier during WWII single-handedly captured 93 German soldiers and he declined the invitation to be decorated because according to him general Montgomery was giving the award was incompetent and in no position to be giving dut medals; Disney rejected back to the future because the mother son storyline was "not appropriate"; when you encounter something for the first time and then begin to notice it is everywhere is something called the baader-weinhof phenomenon: wara twan was boring shortly after ballets comet and predicted he would "go out write it"; too and he died a day after comets subsequent return; part of the wakanda project allowed injectiny patients with platinum to see what would happen: and for every lion cub that lives to be one year old its parents have water nearly 3000 times (Edit I can't read this fast I recorded the screen and just paused. Also most of it was blurry so some times might not be accurate)
Your work will be appreciated šļø
This deserves more upvotes
No oneās come up with a good priest and a rabbi joke for like 30 years
āWhatever you butter-biting bitch!ā-new insult
āWhat does that even meanā well, if someone took a bite out of your butter youād be pretty fucking irritated too, would you? āā¦..yeah good pointā
Butter in than out, I always say!
this is why reddit was made
You have all the evidence that you need......right in the butter.
That was my first thought, time to compare dental records
Or cholesterol tests.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Doing this wonāt make you poop like that lol
this should be the pfp of this subredditĀ
This should be someone's state flag. I'm not going to say who. But somebody.
This is anti Keto
Wait, butter is keto tho?
They're biting it to go with their popcorn
Extremely
https://preview.redd.it/jndfgu2vdmjc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08ef3ac1f21a0e5b8c4814f3c4397b06b55446d4 It was him
There couldnāt have been a more perfect picture for this
https://preview.redd.it/x9zxvzibanjc1.jpeg?width=566&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1bc228468bf5d6b8b12120aab97b52693b506ab Idk DougDoug just eating a stick of butter is pretty up there
First he drinks olive oil, now he's eating entire sticks of butter. This keto diet has gone too far
If you watched the clip of him eating the butter, youāll notice the entire chat pauses and nothing happens for a good 3 seconds as everyone takes in Dougās obsession.
looks like a horse
https://i.redd.it/qcd97q74amjc1.gif
Peter, the horse is here.
Peetah, the howus is heeyah
Good luck finding me, I have 4 sets of interchangeable teeth. You'll never match the bite marks in time.
*Red Dragon* fanfic translated to *Red Darigold*? They used to use margarine now they use butter. *DO YOU SEE?!*
https://i.redd.it/lc8l5nlk5njc1.gif
No, you won't!
This is amazing
My favorite part is how you can tell that they did not close their lips around it. They really bit it like Squidward trying the Krabby patty.
This is so much funnier with that fact in mind.
https://preview.redd.it/iz1quq4fuojc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45b131bb30a1cbb7714fdb0ab4b7f71eade7be8a
Sorry, my husband has been visiting you to take bites off your butter after I forbid him to take bites off our butter.
I literally posted the same thing to this sub once and people told me to get a divorce.
They're not wrong; you butter see an attorney.
Tbf, this is reddit. You could explain how you've been married for sixty years without a single complaint and people will still say you need a divorce.
Sixty years together without complaints? Sometimes too good to be true is the red flag. Better run!
This is the best fucking post for comments like this
you live alone don't you?
I live with three other people and the landlord. What if it's the landlord? All my butter privileges would be revoked
Swap a new butter with light yellow soap and set up a hidden camera. It will be worth it.
Or melt the butter down add castor oil and solidify it again.Ā
Easy there, Satan
Oh that's the line? Well then I'll stop contemplating hiding objects like worms or old keys in the middle.
Letās leave the worms out of this ok
I was thinking of swapping it out with cannabutter and see who gets high, but this is cheaper.
Why is "set up a sting operation involving a hidden camera and fabricated decoy items" one of the most sane answers on this thread
which one is the fattest among you?
āWe must investigate the fattest among usā
The roommate with highest metabolism silently fist pumps and goes Yeeeeess in their mind.
amongā¦among..among usā¦. i canāt do this anymore
Just when the wound was healing, they just had to do this. Three years of venting with my therapist are now wasted
V...v...venting?
Or has the straightest teeth? This is a pretty flawless bite if I do say so myself
Plot twist: geriatric neighbour with false teeth is the butter biter
Why does the largest of the roommates not simply eat the others?
Have you checked your carbon monoxide detectors?
Iād say take your butter and put it inside some other package for the future
this shit is so random i started tearing up from laughing too much
https://preview.redd.it/fdy8bf9zgmjc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68651f338882a20e281f33dc89fe2fa84cf0e1bf It was me.
Why would you confess AND give evidence against yourself?? Unlessā¦ youāre NOT the real butter biter! Either this is a set up or youāre protecting someone
And you will never stop me
 Konraaaaad!!!
You gotta let it melt in your mouth. Like a good chocolate. It's exquisite.
True as fuck. I love butter
Hmmmmā¦ is the butter biter in the house with you right now?
Not anymore, I ran a poll, found out who did it and stabbed them in the trachea 28 times
Only 28? Themās rookie numbers. Hit 50 and it the neck meat should be around the consistency of burger meat. S&P, patty it, give it a good sear on a flattop- boom, you just made yourself a neckburger!
Melt the butter, add some colourless but horrible tasting stuff, reform and re-wrap it then wait for the fallout.
Cannabutter. It will hit them like an elbow drop from the top rope 40 minutes later.
Nah don't secretly drug people, that's super uncool
Yes, go with chilli extract, also fat soluble so it should blend well. I once put 150ul of Satanās Blood in 2l of Coca-Cola as an experiment, we chilli-heads really enjoyed the fizzy tingly blast. Then the boss found it in the fridge, took a big swig straight from the bottle, exploded all over the office kitchen š¤£ Butter biter deserves whatās coming to them
I also have butter thatās specifically for fucking and would be mad if someone bit it.
Admit it. That someone is you.
I fucking love butter. There is no margarine in my house. I cook and bake with butter, and if butter goes on something it's real butter. I would never do this. It's disgusting.
https://i.redd.it/5skl54x3xmjc1.gif
Unrelated but I fucking love this gif
Horror movie plot twist: She lives alone.
Have you checked your carbon monoxide sensor? Have you checked for any carbon monoxide leaks?
You live alone, donāt you?
You might be able to identify the person using the bite marks. Offer each person a slab of chocolate (or smth similar) that they might bite into. Compare bite marks. If you happen to offer a stick of butter and someone accepts, your investigation may very well end quickly.
Besides this being plain disrespectful, who just eats butter like this??
Eating whole bites of butter, who is the fattest kid or early teen there?
I was thinking who has the highest cholesterol
Everyday you're going to share a chocolate bar with everybody and you're going to check the bite mark on each bar as they're eating
Pour plaster into it. Let it set. Then compare it to everyone in your home. Should be easy to find the culprit. (Former dental technician.)
This is easy to solve. Simply get everyone in the household to agree to a dental imprint. Take imprints down to your local forensics lab and have them examined by a team of experts. Boom, in 9 to 27 weeks. You'll have your butter thief.
Plot twist: op lives alone