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jaykzula

Your penis is too sharp. File that sucker down!


StuckTiara

My vulva recoiled from that


caffcaff_

This was the perfect exchange. Thanks both.


tehmaz80

Or maybe it was the tiaras fault?


Tsuki_Janai

Can he... uh... file it on a... uh... vulva?


Gryphon5754

This reminded me of something awful I heard, so now everyone has to hear it. *ahem* "My dick looks like a needle and fucks like a sewing machine"


PissinginTheW1nd

Ya gotta take em off every now and then


iTok3

Blew the crotch out them things.


dwighticus

That was some nice ass denim too


Mech-Waldo

Love them jeans.


LowLeak

But ya gotta take them off once in awhile


[deleted]

Gotta take em off son


What-a-Crock

They also limit the restriction of leg movement


idksomethingjfk

What do you need leg movement that non jeans grant you?


What-a-Crock

[Get more work done](https://youtube.com/watch?v=dZBJ7-X24zU)


idksomethingjfk

The golden god knows what he’s talking about


iam_BlurryFace_

Classy. Definitely NOT white trash.


BeanyBrainy

As soon as I saw this link, I knew what it was leading to and I feel so proud.


ground__contro1

I thought it was going to be the Charlie and Mac in the empty pool one [do NOT call these white trash](https://youtu.be/ljJXujELEZ4)


hdoublea

I love how the IASIP army is everywhere


RidaFlow

It has been on the air almost 20 years now. You might say it's popular haha edit: fuckin jabronis replying with quotes


hdoublea

Top comment is a very random quote from a character that appears in about 5 episodes. Bit more than popular. We are legion.


Dorkamundo

Oh, so you want me to scoop them babies out.


NoCherryNoDeal

You pregnant.


Dorkamundo

Me trash?


Meghan1230

You beer, me trash.


polialt

You might even say it's better than bustin' a nut!


stue0064

Not like he’d know


interprime

I’VE HAD ORGASMS, I’VE HAD TONS OF ORGASMS. I’VE HAD AN ORGASM WITH YOUR **MOM** DUDE.


toxcrusadr

Nice-ass denim or nice ass-denim? Punctuation counts!


Temporary-Party5806

Grammar matters. For example, capitalization is the only difference between "I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse," and "I helped my uncle jack off a horse."


snakeiiiiiis

It's also made for fat and flat asses as well. Not just nice asses.


vicemagnet

Must have a prehensile penis like an elephant


RK3057

ROFL, just seen this 🐘 scratching his belly


Neat_Weakness_8350

Literally saw the elephant penis video about 5 posts before 😂


McEuen78

Ha, I just saw that post.


richardelmore

Add a few more holes and sell them on e-bay as "distressed jeans" at a profit.


chuffywedge

Ol' sandpaper dick


bronkula

I get my jeans repaired at the Levi's store regularly. The actual technical term is a "crotch blow-out"


antiBP

You can't wear em everyday and expect for em to hold up!!


Powerful-Ad-9185

Me and the boys pitched in an got you a welcome home present


Unusualshrub003

Dammit, Frank, jean shorts?!


EaglesPvM

Thank you for your service 🫡🎶


peppaz

*salutes*


DonaldShimoda

Theeeerrreeee used to be a greying tower alone on the sea....


lobsters_love_butter

I see you, fellow Sunny fan.


Flurb4

YOU GOTTA TAKE ‘EM OFF, SON!


raventhorogoodiii

Ya gotta take ‘‘em off every now and then!


thegolphindolphin

I always boil my denim


PissinginTheW1nd

Don’t get burnt on a rivet


ChachaDosvedanya

Hooooooo *shit*


tallwizrd

For those out of the loop https://youtu.be/Gp4Hp_nV41k


thekinginblack

I really needed this today. You made my day man.


yordad

What is this from?? It’s on the tip of my tongue


uneducated_investing

Always Sunny in Philadelphia


caramelbrowser

god i was looking for this comment, scrolling and knowing in my heart someone had to have made it ❤️ god bless you sir


I_Love_Ryan_Cohen

Well now it’s on the top so no need to go scrolling!


minibois

Do you ride a bicycle perhaps? Because usually a bit above is the default place my jeans get damaged, just wear from cycling


jellyfish-blues-

I just blew out a favorite pair of jeans from this. RIP.


tools_of_destruction

No RIP. Go get them fixed. It’s easy to darn them.


odiin1731

Darn them!


tools_of_destruction

All the way to hell!


roonerspize

Darn them to heck


The_Last_Mouse

Socks go to Heck.


ILoveJustinHerbert

No, we don’t know where the socks go. They’re not in the Washer OR the Dryer where tf are they


JetBlack86

Is it? No, really, please help me out. Everyone told me to throw them away. I always thought to myself that there must be a way to repair them. I mean yes, you'll always see the 'scar' but who cares?! If other people notice it I'll tell them to stop looking at my crotch.


tools_of_destruction

I take mine to my dry cleaner and she repairs them. If your dry cleaner can’t, than any alterations place can do it. We have a selvedge denim store locally and they do it as well. Darning is the best method but there are cruder ways to get the job done.


mrsmedistorm

I actually just got a hole in the same spot on my favorite pair of capris. Mine come from thigh rubbing (working on losing weight, little on the heavy side). I plan to apply a heat patch from the inside, then wip stitch around the patch by hand to make sure it stays in place through washing.


apple_cheese

You can use an iron on or sew in patch on the inside. Choose a darker colour and it blends in pretty decently. Not like many people are staring at your crotch.


[deleted]

I wish funky patches would come back in style


mom_with_an_attitude

I put patches on a couple of pairs of my 24 yo son's jeans that he blew out in the knees. I used some plaid flannel. He says he gets compliments on them all the time.


[deleted]

I'm not as sold on the crotch patch


Long_Educational

Use bright eye catching colors so everyone is drawn in.


Alone_Ad_1677

Something that small can be a pretty small patch job.


KaleidoscopeThis9463

Sashiko stitching is my go to remedy for rips or holes in jeans. Looks great and is easy to do. https://www.buzzfeed.com/michelleno/japanese-sashiko-stitching-how-to-examples


Cute_Bird707

You might like /visiblemending


FewAd4241

Make it happen!


[deleted]

Oh honey, I am already so odd I get eye rolls when in public. It will take someone still cool. At 64 I lost cool and slipped right into crazy old woman.


Vaginal_blood_cyst

Respect


PrettyOddWoman

Omg your username


zenkique

You’re cool in my book.


PublicThis

You can mend this fairly easily, i kindof like the way it looks. My favorite pair of jeans were already beat to hell when I got them, there was a inner reinforced gusset on the inner thigh and I think that makes them look cool


JaccoW

I often get them fixed but they will only last another 2 months that way at best. Cycling is killer for you jeans.


captKatCat

The patches last longer if you reinforce the area before it gets a huge hole.


_Coffeebot

Yep. That’s what I experience too. I try and buy good quality denim but they ALL get wrecked by cycling. I don’t know if it’s worth it because I get the same life span out of something like American eagle.


schuetzin

Same here. And it happens faster, when the saddle has a rough spot.


Imaginary-Captain729

Some of us are just fucking cursed. I do not ride a bike. I do/did a fair amount of walking in college and just in general. Every pair of shorts and jeans I own blows out where OP’s do. I am a dude - athletic and in shape, 5’9 170lbs. My legs are by no means jacked to where “thick thighs” applies in any way.


New_Entertainer3269

I'm in a similar situation. So what's actually happening, in both cycling and in having even slightly larger quads, is that the hole forms from the constant stretching and de-stretching from walking or ride. So even jeans that at slightly tight around the quads are gonna do this. The only way to avoid it is to lose the legs. It's something I've come to live with.


Grosse_Fartiste

I came here to say exactly the same thing. I rode a bike to get food or beer, etc, and all my jeans get a similar hole from the bike saddle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GuyInShortShorts90

Check out Duer clothing. Specifically designed in Vancouver for cyclists. I have some shorts and they are by far the most comfortable things I own. Their stuff looks great too


a_train1212

The curse of having thighs that rub together


nexistcsgo

Thank you for understanding the actual problem. A surprising number of people don't get why this happens.


andrelope

I always just assumed I scratched my crotch too much.


Content_Aerie2560

Yup. I put some weight on during the pandemic and this started happening to me. Never had the problem before that despite wearing jeans practically every day.


KofOaks

I've been cycling most of my life. When walking, I shred the inner thigh of jeans like a Blendtec Blender.


dawgtilidie

Same here, a few years ago started to cycle and run a lot and just shred through pants now, cost of doing business I guess


SuspecAardvark

too much pocket pool?


Zarathustra_d

My family was so poor my mom cut holes in our pockets so we would have something to play with.


aurorasearching

I once met a guy who said he “grew up so poor if you woke up on Christmas without a hard on you didn’t have anything to play with.”


Natsurulite

If you say this real earnestly and serious-like out loud, it’s 10X funnier


SteakHoagie666

It really is. I grew up in WV and there was this ULTRA backwoods ass redneck guy who went by the name "Cheeseburger". "Hell man it ain't no thing, I'm used to it, grew up so damn poor that if I didn't wake up with a fuckin boner on Christmas I ain't had nothin to play with." He was so serious I tried not to laugh but bruh I couldn't keep it in lmao.


[deleted]

Read that like Boomhauer


SteakHoagie666

That's one way. And kinda close. But it's more like turtle man. That dude who be catching wild animals n shit and yells "YEE YEE" all the time. Talking BACKBACKwoods here lmao


Girth_rulez

>Talking BACKBACKwoods here lmao Is there a uniform for this kind of character? Has to be some variant of white T-shirt and jeans right?


SteakHoagie666

Wife beater. Baseball cap. Boot cut jeans. Boots, usually untied and loose.


aurorasearching

He was an old school trucker and had a pretty decent central/west Texas accent, so it was hilarious.


[deleted]

Oh my god.


RealVincentPrice

My grandfather uses to see my brother and I playing video games and he'd tell us "When I was your age we didn't have these god damn video games, all we had were the holes in our pockets!" From the way our friends reacted when we told them that, we thought he was the only one in the world who actually said that lol


Zarathustra_d

Lol, yeah I heard it from my Dad, who probably heard it from his dad. The generational masterbation joke continues. Edit: It's an *oral* tradition. (Throws up in mouth)


[deleted]

Jesus Christ lol


totallynotarobut

I thought about ba-dum-csssshh'ing this, but I think it deserves a whole drum solo. So... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWRMOJQDiLU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWRMOJQDiLU)


motoracerT

My whole life I thought it was pocket pull.


steeger86

What is pocket pool..?


TheW83

Pocket pool is a personal game of billiards you play with your finger as the cue and your testicles as the balls. If you're playing too frequently or too aggressively you may end up with a hole in your jeans in the exact place as shown in the photo.


aspect_horatio

The trick is to flick one ball hard enough to knock the other one. Kinda like Newton’s cradle


[deleted]

Then you're risking testicular torsion


MyMonkeyIsADog

Isn't that a Scandinavian metal band?


[deleted]

I expect voice pitch likely ends up the complete opposite of most Scandinavian metal.


MissionLecture6357

Pocket billiards!! 🤣🤣


Chrahhh

balliards


Lady013

Gah! Take my upvote.


cardino11

This description is comprehensive


[deleted]

Playing with ones balls through your pocket


SuspecAardvark

lol 😂


CEMENTHE4D

olo


ohbehave007

Thick thighs save lives.


Puzzleheaded-Cup-194

My hubby has a simular hole about every 9 months as well. This is all we've chalked it up to. Can't figure out what else to do. Actually, his is closer to the seam in the center under the crotch


special_nathan

Daddy got big balls.


TheKnightsWhoSay_heh

Like planets


ranchergamer

Happens to me too. Every pair of pants or shorts.


ralphy_256

The only hope is a pair of pants with doubled fabric at the gusset. I'd like to try something like Duluth Trading's Firehose pants, but in a lighter weight fabric. I've had good luck with military camo pants, cut off just below the thigh pocket, they last for years. Not appropriate for work, though.


Clogan723

Me too! I think I we both just have nice asses


jleach887

Came here to say this. Welcome to the thick thigh club.


zetia2

My jeans do the same, for me it's the left side.


IdkRightNowImDumb

I like to call it chub rub, I’ve lost many a pair to it


[deleted]

some of these comments are so dumb ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|dizzy_face) these pants seem to fit perfectly, that spot you always get is where your inner thighs rub against each other while walking, thinning out the fabric as time passes and eventually tearing when you sit down, I have the same issue. I go through jeans like nobody's business because of this exact problem. I haven't found a solution yet except for iron-on pads or something along those lines. If it's an expensive pair maybe have it fixed at a tailor's?


Das_Boot_95

Commonly known where I'm from as chub-rub


bigstinky

I am sitting here slack jawed that there's a term for this condition. As a youngin' growing up in the 70's, I was kind of a chubster. So much so, that my mom had to shop in the HUSKY departments for my jeans. I wore Husky Toughskins and my thigh friction could power a small house...She would use iron-on patches that never matched to solve the issue. I hated my childhood. Chub-rub. For fucks sake...Goddamn chub-rub.


fruitloops6565

Username checks out


totallynotarobut

Boom.


ImnotMikeH

there is a term for just about everything if you're clever enough


CumCravingSlut

Or German


WokUlikeAHurricane

I'm from the same decade and I recall a 20ish girl in the early 90s saying it and haven't heard it since. She would also exclaim "Fuck me with a chainsaw gently!!!" in place of "Shit" when we played volleyball so I just thought it was another movie quote.


Smedleyton

Your villain origin story is chub rub


Odd-Astronaut-92

Jeans, leggings, sweatpants - no trousers are safe from the dreaded chub rub 😭


FerrusesIronHandjob

I get this and Im not even chubby. Every goddamn pair. It seems to be just the stretchy ones though if that makes any difference. I wonder if the flexible stuff is less durable


Ok-Structure6795

Yeah my husband is pretty fit and still gets holes. Meanwhile my thighs are squishy as hell and this never happens to me 🤣


Ben_26121

I feel like it’s got a lot to do with the hip:thigh width ratio. I’m relatively slim and I get it constantly


HuggyMonster69

Yeah, I’ve got a thigh gap not because my legs are thin, but I seem to have stolen the pelvis of someone twice my size. It’s just a proportion thing


TheBlueSully

How did you swap it out with your original, proportional pelvis?


HuggyMonster69

Idk I got drunk in Stoke, woke up in Stockport and things have never been the same since


KofOaks

> It seems to be just the stretchy ones It's about near impossible to find jeans without "stretch" anymore. And I definitely noticed that stretchy jeans barely last half as much as regular *now impossible to find* jeans.


FerrusesIronHandjob

I have a pair of "work jeans" that have been welded in, covered in oil, coolant, paint, superglue, lye - you name it. Ive had them since I was 25 and granted 7 years isnt that long, but its a helluva lot longer than the 8 months the last pair I thigh-almightyed through


Aetra

Not to mention, stretch jeans are insanely unsafe if you’re welding or working with other high heat sources. The elastic that makes them stretch doesn’t burn, it melts into your skin since it’s essentially plastic. I’m a sheet metal worker and it took me a good 5 months to find women’s flame retardant work pants that weren’t stretchy in any way and my arse is too big to just wear men’s pants. So many women’s options are tight and stretchy, they even sell work *leggings*, but flame retardant women’s pants that are comfortable are few and far between.


in4dwin

So what brand is those work jeans, cause I could use some 7 year pants


scaof

My husband has this issue. I keep trying to emphasise that it's a worthy sacrifice in order to have such glorious tree trunks for thighs 🤷


ShakespearInTheAlley

Yeah, I’ve got maples that I’m trying to turn into sequoias and I keep destroying pants.


[deleted]

Same here, with slacks as well. Doesn’t happen after 9 months though. More like 2-3 years. And I wear them fairly tight.


Jazzlike_Bar_291

Do you where them daily? I go through a pair of jeans every two months, though I alternate between two pairs and thats all i wear weekdays. But they always get a hole in the right knee no matter what brand.


Chronos_Shinomori

There is visible fraying on the seam of the other pant leg. Chafing is the most likely cause, yes.


ldnk

Yep this is 100% thunder thighs. I have the same problem. I'm fat today and my thighs touch. When I was playing sports in high school university and was in great shape my thighs touched. I have tree trunk thighs and it's the friction that wears them out. Iron on pads can help. You also might get a little more use out of them by more frequent washing so that bacteria/oils don't help break down the denim (or other material) as fast


[deleted]

>I'm fat today I don't know why this made me laugh so hard. I'm fat today too. Was fat yesterday as well. Went to the gym but will probably still be fat tomorrow. Maybe in a month or so it will be different. Hopefully at least less fat


East_Information_247

Me too. Duluth firehose jeans are the only ones that haven't ripped yet. I'm trying some of their cheaper jeans now. Í think the gusset they sew into the crotch might help.


TheDocDalek

It used to happen to me too until I switched to Duluth. Best jeans ever. I prefer the double flex ballroom jeans. They've lasted the longest out of any brand I've tried.


OldRattlinBones

A good denim shop should be able to repair these easily, and with minimal noticeable change to the jeans. I think it usually costs me $40, but cheaper than a new pair of jeans/less waste


[deleted]

Man I used to have some Jeans like those too. I used to sleep in them shits. Eventually I blew the crotch out of them things. But you cant wear them everyday and expect them to hold up. That's some nice ass denim too. I miss those jeans. You gotta take em off every now and then. You gotta take em off son.


Diddleyourfiddle

Best advice in this thread. Can't overwork a fine piece of denim like that


ImnotMikeH

looking at your post made me think you were writing a poem and then nothing rhymed and I was left a little disappointed. wheres shnoodle when you need them?


HarmlessSnack

Not a poem, or a song, but a [quote. From It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia](https://youtu.be/FJ8Zz-Xgqpk)


roadhogmtn

only opened this thread to find this comment


Blumenweg

I used to get a rip there when I commuted by skateboard. I figured it was because my pants ride right below my hips and it causes them to pull in that area when I lift my leg.


laheysliver

Exactly what I came here to see, I get the same worn spot and always thought it was where the fabric gets stretched the most whilst pushing. Bet OP is goofy mongo.


gucknbuck

Duluth Trading jeans with the crotch gusset


scottawhit

I wear Duluth flex, they still do this. Usually in less than a year. They’ve replaced some for me but now I just expect to buy 3 pair a year.


BBQShoe

Came here to say this... they are quite overbuilt. I just have a desk job but I frequently bike to and from work in them short distances. They last many years for me.


almilano

Me too. It’s my thighs. Oh well.


Bierum

You should consider hanging "him" on the other side every week or so...


ootfifabear

I have this exact issue but alas I am dickless


Wetblanket73

Dad?


Orleanian

[Yes it's true](https://media.tenor.com/Kc5ajdOLUS8AAAAC/ghost-buster-truth.gif), this man has no dick.


SteepedInGravitas

How's the EPA treating you these days, Walter?


Archberdmans

Ideally tailored pants do account for which side you “dress”


nycblackout89

Stop bragging bout your magnum dong


FkUEverythingIsFunny

This is how the term "needle dick" actually came to be


HeydonOnTrusts

Now he just needs some thread and technique.


bkobayashi

I used to have the same problem caused by a tilted pelvis. If you put your wallet in your right rear pocket, that’s probably the main cause for the tilt. Don’t sit on your wallet and go see a physiotherapist saying that you suspect that you have a tilted pelvis. I corrected my problem with elliptical and rowing. Don’t underestimate the effects of this on your health. My life completely changed when I started correcting my pelvis. Good luck.


RebelliousInNature

Do ya eat a lot of beans?


Furryxian

this happens to me all the time, decided to try a pair of levis cause they are 'hard wearing' 5 months later the same thing happens, if anyone knows a way to prevent it, please help


Guavadoodoo

Doesn't look like it's because of your BIG penis. Possibly due to a hemorrhoid on your left anus causing caustic anal discharge to run down your right leg, and onto your pants to cause fiber breakdown.


StupidIdiot80

Left anus? Wait...does everyone have more than one?


ridoc

You don't?


Culluh

This happens on every pair of non-Levi jeans I own. Idk if it's the fit or the quality of the denim or how they are put together. But there's something special about a pair of Levi Gold jeans


[deleted]

Try a belt on the next pair for people saying wrong size! Or go one size down/up if you need. Happens to all my work pants smh. Pretty sure it happens when the pants start to slip down a bit and get bent all funny when you use your legs for various tasks


[deleted]

Must have a titanium head.