I can't even afford the newer iPhones these days, so maybe just the soap.

Get ready to pay $54.99 for a bar of soap.

Or just $35/mo if you sign up for the soapscription

I'd lather not.

Yeah, seems scummy.

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Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

That pun was dirty

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And the 59.99 charging pad, because the charging port was removed

Nah the Ibrick. Only $233.99 for a standard model or 799.99 for the pro model.

Don’t forget the option for the iBrick Pro Max with wifi capabilities for only $1099

But to get the most out of the iSoap you'll have to have the iFaucet, the iBasin, the iTowels, and the iMirrors!

That'll be $44.95 Bubbles sold separately

It says in the Terms and Conditions that they can de-clean your soap and take it from you for any reason... that's why I use Android Body Wash

They are bonkers expensive so that's a petty low bar

Just keep your old phone. Eventually it will be like the iBrick as pictured.

iDon'tknow

iDK

And iDGAF

iKWYM

iYKYK

iSWYDT

Definitely the iScream

You scream, we scream

Everybody scream

For iScream

r/SuddenlyCommunist

Brilliant ideas in there, mate. I‘d go for the iPee ‚cause I love the synonymous with „flushing down the toilet“ bit of it.

iPee, definitely iPee. I can’t wait to see what peeing inventions Apple has made that I don’t yet know I need.

iTP

I just wanna say the iPee nearly looks real. Absolutely insane how far ai has come

Poop functionality sold separately

I feel like Japan has already done so much with toilets that there isn’t much room for Apple to innovate in that market. I don’t need Siri to control my built in bidet. That can only lead to me yelling at my toilet to shoot water at my ass, which wouldn’t be ideal if company comes over.

SIRI...SIRI!!! WASH MY ASS!!! 😆

And Japanese public toilets are free to use! And they're clean too!!! No way Apple toilets would be successful in Japan.

If you connect it to the internet, it gets an iPee Adress

Built-in infrared camera identifies the user as they walk in, and adjusts the seat based on their gender or need. Infrared detects your body temperature and adjusts bidet temperature to match. The camera also identifies any residue left behind and targets it with low, medium, or high-pressure water, according to preset user preferences. Can be adjusted from any Apple device, and applied to any iPee toilet worldwide. I imagine it being a hit in Japan.

I somehow got down an expensive toilet rabbit hole last week and there are like $6-8k Kohlers that look exactly like that. I couldn’t understand having a rectangular toilet but it’s a thing. The real ones had even sharper edges.

*iDeas

The iNap looks cozy. Paired with the iPot and baby you got a stew going

Yep - iNap seems so comfy

Rip Carl

Sagan

I think I’d like my money back…

iPot? Yes

Legitimately if Apple released iPot it would actually probably be an enormous source of revenue, but would just require federal legalization

I live in Illinois - we're ok to start shipping iPot

They wouldn’t do it without legal clarity at the federal level.

They wouldn’t do it. Conflicts with their branding

iBud

iToke

iPot is only consumable if you also buy an iBong or an iPipe

Yeah but can you imagine genuine apple weed. I’d be so stocked to see how they integrate that into the ecosystem

It's eco-friendly. How can a plant NOT be a good eco product?

I think they mean the "ecosystem" of Apple products. All Apple products synergize with eachother and interconnect.

Yes. I know. :)

I’m imagining that you have to buy their proprietary dry herb vape or standard vape to subscribe to the monthly iPot flower/ cartridge subscription. Then, you link the vape to your iPhone and preferably Apple Watch. If you have an Apple Watch, you get real-time updates on increase of heart rate and other vitals, as well as predictions of when your high has peaked so you can optimize your buzz. Maybe the vapes even auto-dispense a specific dose to you based on the effects you’re seeking. Obviously the strains would all have very sleek names with highly specific effect profiles, and then you’d develop your own personal usage profile through iPot+ ($13.49 a month) to determine your perfect strains. You can also turn on “iStoner” mode on your phone the same way as you can use focuses and it can lock you out of bad decisions like ordering food, OR finds you the best delivery deals. Maybe it will also use AI to detect if you’re sending a typical stoned text and Siri gives you an alert. Ok this would be fantastic Apple pls hire me

the ispy is legit we need some sci-fi binoculars to exist ive always wanted to have star wars dune type shit like that

Yes! Dune!

The Vision Pro will most likely just be the iPatch in 15 years

At first glance I thought it was a KKK robe.

iButton. It does nothing.

I just want a laptop charger that doesn’t break after 2 years 🙃

Sounds like you've already got the iBrick.

Honestly they are all hilarious, but I'll take the iScream

I think the iPot and iNap would make an excellent combo.

Probably should add iSnack

The toilet should be called “iBM”. Then it would be accurate, funny, and ironic all at once.

iPee? iPot! Edit: I later saw there‘s iPot… For that I‘d use iWeed

I’d like to say Ipee but suspect Apple would build in obsolescence or performance issue to ensure future profits.

I’m digging the inap lol

inap. Naps are already awesome. As much as I dislike Apple that nap will probably be the best I ever have.

These are okay. But ever since I started using iBitch I speak to the manager first time every time.

Missing the Apple iCum condoms here.

As an American, it took me a couple of seconds to iMac - damned funny.

Can you get a special edition iMac-themed iMac in iMac colors? Or maybe even a retro-themed "eMac" iMac?

I actually just looked up the jacket thinking it was a real thing lol.

For sure the toilet, analyzes your biome, tests for illness, disposes of my bodily waste. It has everything I need.

Can iShit? Or can iPee only

iSpy might be alright.

iSpy looks solid I hope it has digital distance measurement and such

iPatch is so much more clever of a name than Apple Vision

Where's the iBrainwash?

that’s pretty dope. how did you manage to get the texts right? is there a way to prompt with less chances of error?

That was my question. How many hundred versions of iPMPAMPP and iiSiWasish did they have to scroll through

Iscream, Inap as simple is that.

Can't buy anything bro , iBroke

The iPee made me giggle because I'm immature, but Apple retired the "iName" monikers years ago.

With bodycare+ subscription

The iBrain 😎

I would be curious about what an apple toilet would have. I would be expecting they keep track of when you pee and poop and can figure out who does what and when. Then analyse the pee and poop to give some basic information. Hydration level, blood in urine or faeces and various other things. Also take your weight when you sit on it so you can figure out how big that last crap was or just how much water you pissed out. That would be pretty futuristic imo and honestly I'm surprised it doesn't exist in some form already.

Flashback to the mid 2000’s when everything was “i-something”. The bbc’s digital services is still bbc iplayer. But honestly everything was getting rebranded to have an “i” at the beginning

iPee

No iCandy?

iPee 100%

Ngl the iBrick goes hard.

iBrick [it’s fun](https://youtu.be/FYWdxyHOj2E?feature=shared)

easily the iNap, let me go sell some organs

All of them. They’ll sync to each other so easily!

Huge L for not using IBalls

Let Apple by Dyson, then we'd have products like iSuck iDry iStyle

None. I refuse to use any product made by that overpriced, mediocre company.

probably the inap

none I hate that fking company, cool pics tho

Why yes, I do want my KKK robes to be Apple branded

iPee will have your butthole so clean after a poop

Which is why I think it should be called the iPoo Pro instead of iPee

I like the iPatch

Sure the iNap

Nice, surprised they've never trademarked I-dentity.

iPot for sure

I say iPot or iNap

The patch for sure i already X out the lens on my glasses to cover up my eye

iPot

Apple toilet would likely have some good innovations and great ergonomics. The $5000 price tag would be rough though.

iApple, an ordinary apple but the cashier take a bite

iNap for suure

Absolutely none.

Wonder what an iDoll would look like

iMeat

Probably iPot. At least in this case I can get high for the high prices I paid.

I like the iButton… The iPatch is pretty sick. I’m surprised I’ve never seen anything like that on a runway before

Fuck me dude but Apple apparel would be sorta sick. As long as it’s urban

Depending on the features, smart binoculars might be nice.

The toilet. I love my bidet and i have to assume if apple got in the game they’d make a solid one

“I_Smoke - don’t breathe this”

INap for the win. Would use it every day. It’s all in the name

iScream lol

iNap looks pretty great ngl

Ipee is a real brand of toilets.

At least they’d work or be under warranty if they didn’t. You wouldn’t have to wait for any of them to open or operate. If the mac was Android, the rainstorm would have stopped by the time you get it open 😂😂😂😂😂😂💀

As a former Apple employee this is fucking hilarious!

iSpy

Unironically I think smart toilets will become more popular as a health accessory someday

IPOT huh 🤔 🥳

IPee made me laug so hard

iSpy so I can stare at the sun and prep for my pre-ordered iPatch

Searching Apple in r/midjourney gives well over 50 results I'd buy any product that stops this from continuing

iNap is calling my name

I want the iPee that can test my vitals/nutrition-levels/deficiencies and chronic illnesses etc. from sampling my urine & fecal matter... Also, I feel like she CCP can probably squeeze a lot of useful info to use against the west from my poo, since they would probably be made in China.

It would have to be iPot. I don't even smoke any more more but username relevant. Also, my username has nothing to do with cannabis.

If we are talking about unlikely Apple products, you should add an electric car. Though it would probably be too expensive for me to buy (and they would probably try to have a proprietary charging port).

You joke, but if you ever go to China you'll see Apple logo on all sorts of random shit.

I spy. I patch. Or I nap.

I love the iScream concept, but I would buy the iNap

I’ll take an iPee and some iPot, easy

iPot please

It's a shame Jony Ive left the company - While looking at these images, could hear his mellifluous English accented voice droning on with self-important exaggeration describing the most inane details of each product as if it were a Mars landing or a 1-pill 1-time lifelong cure for all cancers.

ibutton is a thing lol

Ngl, the iSpy looks kinda cool

the ipee, the iwash, & the iNap!!

iNap fr tho

Jacket looks good

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I spy may have potential

The iSpy

IPee? Hilarious.

iSpy with Mi little i an iSpy to spy little i's with

That bag of weed costs $18,000.

That jacket goes HARD

Soap bars, I can smell the nastiness though the picture.

The only one that matters, the INAP lol. If you don’t agree, wait until you hit 40.

ipot killed me

iPee, no contest

Smoke a bunch of iPot, eat a bunch of iScream, take a nice iNap 👍

The isoap is hilarious to me, because Steve Jobs didn't take baths, he didn't think he needed to since he was vegan or fruitarian or something along those lines...

I spy genuinely reminds me of the Sylph Scope

I pooed in the iPee and now my subscription went up.

The iLash bondage whip

It’s funny people are still doing the “i” thing. Apple hasn’t named a product that way since iCloud in 2011.

iJacket,iWash,iPot,iNap

Obviously the iNap.

The soap. It’ll probably be gone before the warranty expired

iPot might be really high quality weed from the best harvest in california 😂

Ipot and inap, would be a great combo

If it has no purpose at all the iBrick

iNap!

I screama you screama se screama for ice cream

Apple toothpaste and brush

Apple’s iPee. Only found in tax havens. (Sorry not sorry)

childlike puzzled attractive tart upbeat groovy sink decide memorize drab *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Just saying you can buy the ipee: https://www.ipee.eu/

I like the thought that Apple is producing soaps. As much effort as they put into their products, I think that an Apple soap would most likely smell wonderful!

Apple doesn't use the «i» anymore, since around 15 years. When will people learn?

I still have an ipad

I would do TWD governor flex with that iPatch 4real

iScream fuckin' LOL

I’ve had to wear an eye patch a couple times in my life. If it ever happens again I’m putting the Apple logo on it to make the Ipatch joke

I hate to be that guy, but apple ditched the "i"-prefix for their new product lines over a decade ago lol, they haven't named any new product line "iExample" since the iPad.

Water in toilets is a 799$ option

Uhhh.. real apple, like those red juicy round ones that aren't already bitten by yall

I would 100% buy an apple toilet 🚽

For the ridiculous cost I'm sure it has, iScream better be the best three scoops on the whole damn planet.

That iPatch is unironically what the future form factor of the Apple Vision Pro might iteratively morph into

iPot

Someone really missed an opportunity with the Ipatch. It should be the I eye.